Dear Shirley and Steve I've been keeping a secret from my man and I need your advice. I joined a local swingers club a little over two years ago and my sexual appetite desires being with more than just one man. I've been with my boyfriend now for six months. I really want to tell him about my other life but I don't know how. I've hinted around at the idea of us going to the parties as a couple and the idea of us becoming swingers and for play he will say yes but on the night of a party he doesn't want to go.