We’re trying the Book Club again! This section inspires Becca to look back on what she thought her life would be like, and appreciate what it is now. And Tanya gives us a sneak peek at her engagement photo dress… to mixed reviews.
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An iHeartRadio podcast.
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. What did I just miss you?
You're the one who.
Just said it, but you said something that made him laugh.
You said half the time, get to the book.
Because Becca, we're like about to start the podcast, and she goes, I can't tell if you're joking about this dress you sent me for your engagement shoots. And I'm like, I'm not trying to make a joke, my Aghow now I know how you really feel about the notes.
And you know how I sent the dress Radeine and Kiln's wedding and it was like a joke. I didn't know if you were like doing that to me to get my reaction.
No, it's my engagement shoot. I'm not trying to have a laugh at it.
Okay.
Well, so clearly you don't like the dress.
I just said. I said it could either be amazing or bad depending on how it photographs with movement. And I'm gonna show looks if Robbie wore another one would be like if you complete a herd.
Oh interesting, It's like it was such a half a heart.
I thought it was such a chic, chic dress, a little avant garde, a little you.
Know, I'm saying it could be great or it could be like what in the actual hell? So I just didn't know if I was being played with. So my sincerest.
So I don't get that dress.
I think you should get it. Try it on, take some photos, see how it moves, and then if you're like, wow, it looks amazing when I'm walking, because you love a walking photo.
It doesn't look like a Tanya dress to me.
What is a Tanya dress?
I don't know, but it's not that like that doesn't you're like hiding behind something where you're very you know.
Free, very open a shell.
It does feel very like a high fashion and I feel like you. I mean it's in a complimentary way. There's some bad like run like looks on runways, but because they're trying to make a statement and fashion. You're a fashion girl.
Whenever I want a modern woman.
You're a cool girl. Your style game isn't killing it. And this didn't feel like you.
It's a little high fashion, like.
You're trying too hard and you don't have to try that hard.
You must see some other options. Well, you don't think this is good.
Content for the show. There's not one that seems a little high fashion but a little bit more me. And it's like a little rose flower on top of a white dress, which feels nice, like nice linen rose on top.
No, nobody likes that.
My opinion doesn't really matter.
Already this is going well for me. I just think that lace on top, a little lace.
Classic is best because you're going to look back on these for years and years and years, and you want to be like, that was a timeless look that I chose, not like I chose the big ruffle around my head, or I chose a big flower on my chest, you know. Or you could do a series where you just do something trendy and then the rest of the photos do something classic.
No, I'm picking one outfit. We're not doing outphit changes here.
Oh wow yeah, okay, but I just can't believe I'm having an engagement photo shoot.
Like, let's mist that for a second.
Let's take a moment for these, take a moment for the engagement photo shoot.
Yeah, we all.
Let us do this.
Yes, So getting into untamed, Yes, we started with let it be, let it burn, Let it Burn.
What I realized is our last I took a quote from Let It Burn to discuss last week that was really in Let It Burn. Mmm, so my whole deconstruction for construction was a little pre uh, a little ahead of its time, a little ahead of its time.
But here we are let it burn. Oh yeah, I remember when you said that.
Yeah, And I really felt it when I was moving into the house because everything just looked like a total deconstructed mess. And I thought to myself, this is exactly what Glennon Doyle meant when she said deconstruction is essential for construction, because in order for us to build our home, it's gonna be a little messy at times. There's gonna be stuff flying around, There's gonna be things where they're not meant to be, and that's okay because we are building, we are constructing our future.
It's good.
Yeah.
I think I really resonated with that part because I think we live a lot of like hoping or expecting our lives to look a certain way. You know. I grew up so like I just knew exactly what my life was gonna look like, you know, like my whole life until like mid twenties or late twenties. I guess I knew in a sense like how it would end up, which was like I was gonna get married to a nice man and have children and you know, raise those children, and it just all felt very laid out to me. And I think when you decide to do something different, there is a feeling that feels like the best word is destruction. It feels like you're destroying something. It feels like you're like in the midst of like a construction zone, where like nothing's right, like nothing looks the way you want it to look, nothing feels the way you want it to feel, and you're kind of like, did I just blow everything up? But it's too late to go back because what's done is done, So the only way is going forward. And like letting go of the like ideals or the expectations that you brought upon yourself.
I think everybody deals with that in one way, shape or form. You know, like in your personal life, some people might be in a relationship or in a situation that they didn't necessarily see for themselves, or professionally, you might see yourself in a position or career that you didn't dream of, you know, like you're it's I feel like everybody can relate to that in some area of their life.
Mm hmm.
There was another quote that she said in this part where she talked about like how if you aren't she said something along the lines of like, let if you're not like growing in development or change in changing, then you're not living.
You know, if you're not growing, you're staying stagnant.
It's true though, like growing.
Stay stagnant, well, staying stagnant feels safe, safe, like it really is.
When you grow, you're uncomfortable growing, you get what do you Why do they call it growing pains because it's uncomfortable. Exactly when you're growing, you're not comfortable. You're trying to figure out, did I make the right decision? Am I? Am I going forward in the right way? Am I going to disappoint people? Am I gonna let people down? It's like yeah, and it's gonna be uncomfortable, But what's on the other side is living.
Living, and that's what we strive for.
And you also talked to about like how we don't need any more selfless women, Like it might be what you say, it might be like an efficient society, but it's not a like.
Uh, thriving society.
It was something along the lines of like selflessness might be like an efficient but it's not a true and beautiful existence being selfless like always being the one who's selfless as a woman.
It's true, selfless women make for an efficient society, but not a beautiful true or just one horrible.
All the main points recoagulated, yes, yes, thank you, reimagined, and then the next.
I found the chapter on ghosts very interesting because it's like, basically how all of us women are, like we're trying to be this perfect thing, this perfect all around perfect. It reminded me of the Barbie movie in that monologue of how like we all all want to every woman has to look perfect and be perfect but not too hot because you don't want to threaten other women and that whole thing, and like that's what that chapter kind of made me feel, Like we're all striving for this thing. And she calls a ghost because it's like it's it's impossible, we cannot be that, we are not perfect, and like the minute we accept it, the better.
Yeah, I agree. Makes me think of a song.
When did oh joy man.
Again tell man boy friend?
What was I made someone he's made for. It's not what he's made for that song. Yeah. She also been talked Ina let It Burn. She talked about how people hold on to like their marriage.
I thought, you want a little back, but like.
In your ear, that like a ringing in your ear that won't go away.
I thought.
I was like hearing that.
Oh, I thought it was like nice to have a little bed under your breath.
That's not the kind of bed under my breath. But she talked about how people hold onto their marriage for the kids, you know, and she was like, and yeah, it's like the most harmful thing you can do for your kids, for them to witness you being miserable and not living a life that you want. Yeah, And I found that interesting. I grew up with my parents were still together, so I'd never had that, but I've always wondered I noticed more that people are like that used to be such a reason for people to stay together of like, oh, I want to do it for my kids.
I want to think it still is. There was that couple. I feel it was a famous couple.
They were married for like I don't even know how many years, and then their kids got out of the house and then they divorced. I'm like, how sad that you're just like counting down the years of your life, which are precious, precious years.
Yeah, did you feel that way with your parents?
Oh, that they were like trying to keep it together for the Yeah? Uh so yeah for a few years. Yeah, I felt that.
Like how old were you?
I was twelve when they divorced, So.
Were you like, like, did you notice that they're like that they weren't happy or was it like, oh.
Yeah, yeah definitely, And uh I I wanted them to split up because they were unhappy, and my sister did not want them too, so that was that was tough. But but I I, yeah, I saw, I'm like, these people aren't happy. Yeah, let them let them go live their lives.
Kids pick up on that more than you think they do.
Yeah, that's what she.
Was talking about. Just like I think that people think that the best thing they can do for their kids is to stick it out and fake it and be happy. But like, we're so like as humans, we develop and we're so perceptive at such a younger age, and I think we give ourselves and kids credit for Yeah that it makes sense that at twelve years old, you're like why are all like, go on and be happy, Like this isn't funny.
You want to be happy. Her accident really came out in there. Go on and be happy.
God get don't get now, go get get yourself out of the house.
Yeah, and what a lesson are you teaching your kids?
You're teaching your kids. Hey, if you're miserable in life, just deal with it. Be miserable for as long as you can. Yeah, that's not a good message, especially if one of you is being mistreated by the other one. Yeah, you want to show them. Just end up for yourself and make your life a happy one.
Yeah, you only get one of them.
That's the overarching theme. Make your life a happy one. We only have one life. There are no time, there is no time to waste. I try to be very prolific in that strong delivery.
Thank you, thank you so much.
Well, before we go, I thought to cut or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean Easton, do you want to tell them what happened?
Has a surprise?
Okay, we'll be back. Okay, we're back before Easton gets to surprise. I feel like my issue with the book club is that everything feels repetitive.
It all I love.
The overarching theme of this book, Like I love the idea of like choosing your life and making it what you want.
But I just feel like the more every episode we do feels redundant.
Yeah, there are, yes, I agree with you. What I think that we should do is we should.
Just keep reading until we find different things, like different because I remember we haven't gotten there yet. But the part where like there's a new woman in her husband's life, in her kids' lives, and she's having to deal with all these things.
Like, to me, that's super relatable because I'm like in that situation.
Yea.
Yeah, so like there are these things and maybe we just like keep reading until specific things jump out at us.
I know that's what I'm saying, though, I just I want to agnowledge that we know that this can feel repetitive, but the book itself is so good and I think there's so many nuggets of wisdom. I just don't want people to be like this is exact same month. Anyways, All right, Easton has a surprise.
Yes, I'm really excited about this. I'm a big crumble cookie fan. I know that you shouldn't eat them every day because they are very colerically high, but I enjoy them. And this week a flavor jumped out at me. It screamed about it, Tilly, I know you haven't had many of these. I have it, so I want to do a taste tests the flavor. It is strawberry cream featuring pop tarts.
Wait, let me see you on, let me see you chir pop part.
Crumbles on the cookie.
It's frosted strawberry. It's breakfast with the pop, a buttery cookie packed with strawberry filling and covered in a pool of melted white chips, crushed frosted strawberry pop tarts and flaky rainbow sugar. Oh my god, that is available now as you're hearing this. You can get this cookie for three more days.
Oh Becca, if you keep doing the book club episode, still bring you a special crumble cookie every week.
Will you read the book, you get a cookie?
It is And all I had today is celsius and small thing to.
Do.
We have a fork.
Pick that up with your mitt and just take a big old chomp.
I'll break into that. Oh my gosh, this looks incredible. Oh my, oh my goodness, it's inside it's full of stuff.
Pick is chewing.
Me so funny.
People, this is for you.
Chew into the mics.
It's not gross to some people. It's gross.
Some people like it.
There's the A S M R crowd.
It is incredible. The cookie is so soft, there's like a jam inside.
You pass it over jam.
That makes me so happy.
I was really afraid.
Chunks on top is absolutely delectable. Do you know we should pitch crumble? What a buttered pop tart?
Buttered pop tart? That is a brilliant idea.
I love antonia. Try something I'm like to.
Oh heavens.
Yeah, are we getting thumbs up across the board?
Do you know what kind of tastes like?
I don't know what kind of cookie this is called, but they're powdered sugar around the outside and there's like a raspberry jam around the inside. Yeah, it's like a it's like a vanilla cookie with just like the raspberry jam. It kind of reminds me of that a little bit. That's one of my favorite cookies. I could see that actually had one this weekend when I was hungover.
That is so good. Thank you.
I'm ready to go for another hour.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's talk about taking control of your life. For another hour.
Becca is gonna come.
Okay, next week, we're gonna just read until we find something that strikes us.
Signing chapters for next week.
A sign chapter? What's the eyes?
You don't anything strike strikes you?
Yeah?
How long does that take?
Hopefully not long.
You're not giving chapters.
Listening to what your book club definition is? Okay, this is our book club. I'm not gonna let a man.
Yeah, take your patriarchal book club and send it over to SmartLess.
We here shrubbing in, do it our way, and this is how we want to do it.
Okay, But just I don't know that anyone's actually following with the parts that we're doing.
Some people may be, but that's maybe. But that's okay.
Wait, so are people supposed to read until something strikes them?
Exactly?
Stop reading and then come back next week and see if it struck us to.
I knew this would happen. I was trying to do a book club a turn in too complete pocastrophe because Johnny wants to do it her modern woman way does not work. It does work?
Who says it doesn't work? There's no Glenn.
We're never getting Glenden.
There's no right or wrong. In book clubs, we do it the way we want to do it. That's the beauty of this podcast.
It is ours.
I think, just read the next three chaps and then we'll see what happens.
But what if nothing strikes system? We just throw in the towel next week?
No, no, no, we're just talking about the same thing.
Yeah, you read the end?
Okay, fine, okay, fine, No, I you what?
No?
Next week? Ten chapters?
Wowow, I am not doing that, too bad. I'm not doing that, Debbie. I'm not too bad, Debbie, Deborah, Debbie Downer, I am not doing that.
What do you project?
Five?
Max suggest?
I'll do five Max. There's no way.
We're going to do what the difference at seven?
Not? No, No, we're not doing.
It's in favor of five, say.
I, I's in favor of seven, say I. I.
We're tired.
Mikayla.
No, Mikayla.
Easton, you didn't.
Vote for either of them.
I haven't been reading the book. I feel like I can't vote.
Yeah, but if someone was telling you what how many chapters to read about? You've heard so far?
I hate you all.
I don't get how you want to cover ten chapters. In one of these episodes.
We only talk. We don't have to recap every chapter.
We just recap what strikes emotion or is relatable and that we feel like our listeners can relate to.
That's it.
I'm gonna need to close up of that faces.
It's time to go five chapters. We'll discuss this in our meeting.
I'm going to tell them I want to should just say meeting. We're not having a meeting, fy I. We'll do smiles to terms.
Okay, talk to you next week