Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and I Heart Radio and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast. Hello everybody, We're scrubbing it in. Hello, Happy Monday. How's it going. How you feeling I'm I'm feeling great. How are you feeling feeling pretty great too? We have Easton and Mark in the house, in the house, but in the zoom. Yeah. Yeah, they're in the house their respective homes, and Tanny and I. This week we're sitting across from each other, still in the same area, but now I get to stare at you instead of like worrying about my double chin and stuff. I look over at you. I'm staring across at you. Were really worried about it. It's something I think about. Yeah. Yeah, Like the profile shot is not my favorite. I got one week of you next to me, and that's all I get. Well. Well, I mean there's future options, but we had to move. It was a a lot of space maneuvering that didn't feel necessary. Yeah, and this feels better. Yeah. Um. Before we get into the podcast, I want to remind you that Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Whether you love Valentine's day, whether you could do without it, we have your heart and we are putting on a Galantine's davin and it is going to be a par day. Yeah, So we're gonna do it on February tenth. It's gonna be a five Pacific, five pm Pacific, which is eight o'clock Eastern. Good job, nail it every time, happy hour on the West coast, late night, late night the East coast. But you can get your tickets at on location live dot com. Slash scrubbing in and grab your gal pals, grab your drink of choice, um, grab your whatever you want chocolate. Well, I was gonna say, grab your new merch. We have sweaters and we have socks and some of our previous merches on sale, but you have to get it soon because there's limited quantity and sizes of our new merch. And we also restocked the I'm Rebecca and Matania t shirts. Those are all available at my fan threads dot com. Slash scrubbing in and let me tell you something. Mark is typically hate ter of our merch, and what did you have to say about this your merch merchant general, I sometimes find it kind of tacky and I'm not sure why anyone would want to own such a thing. But I look at that sweatshirt and I think I get that. I see scrubbers wanting that sweatshirt. That is a good looking sweatshirt, and the socks are so cute. Okay, you are like the antithesis of me. I'm like obsessed with merch. The more merch, the better. I actually miss concerts because I miss getting merch. But weirdly, you and Marker are also very similar. So in some areas you couldn't be more opposite, and then some y'all are very similar. It's interesting, right, Yeah, it is interesting. But also I think the compare it's a male female compare us, and I think because I when it comes to my sports teams, I'll take any merch you can give me. So I think that's where the comparison lies, right, And I don't own one piece of sports paraphernalia, but I I just want to give them a So one of the sweatshirts is pink and it has a heart in the middle and it says scrub Sisters, and it is so cute, and the other one is for more. I would say the becca is that it's like very simple. It says scrubbing in and like a beautiful cursive font, very like understated, but like adorable. I like the heart ones, it's very tanya. I'm actually a fan of both, like I'm I'm interested in both. And then the socks when you put them together, they say scrubbing in and their red and pink. It's so cute, So check out. That'll probably go very quickly, so try and get your merch before it's gone. Yeah, and I love Valentine's Day. It's just like a day for love, Like it's just a day about love, and who doesn't love love? Yeah, I love love, And I'm kind of indifferent about Valentine. I mean, like I love it, but I also if I were single, I wouldn't be like devastated about it. But I also I'm not single, and I'm like, yeah, it's a great day. Yeah, I mean, and I am single and I still love it because i've been. I don't know, I just feel like it's it's like a I love holidays just in general, and this one's just like all about love. And then you know you have so much love in your life even if you are single. So Mark Easton, as married men, how do you all feel about the Valentine's Day holiday. I enjoy it. It's it's really at this point, it's down to pretty much just we try to get away and have a dinner. That's kind of how it's gotten at this point. We don't really do gifts anymore on Valentine's Day. We just try to get away for a little bit of market amy time. If we can't, well that's great. Love, it's it's the best of those conversation Hearts are like my favorite candy, and I think they're back this year because the Neco Corporation has gone through a sale. But you know, we we we we love Valentine's Day. We always do something for Valentine's Day. You know this year is different, um, but we're still gonna observe it and celebrate. And you know, some people say it's a hallmark holiday to sell cards. I say, bring it on. I love I love consumerism. Now Eastern is the king of merch Yeah, there's not. I can't imagine an item of merchandise he would not want to get his hands on. Yeah, and I also already bought I don't know if you saw when you came in. I bought two little headbands for our Galantine's, like their headbands with like hearts that like boggle around. Yeah yeah. And then I got a little Valentine's Day cooking kit, like a cooking not cooking cookie kit. Oh cookie kay, yeah, I love. I've been really okay, I have been going through. I did this phase where I had to have a mcflurry every night. Okay, it was an unhealthy habit that I developed, but I'm out of it. However, my new thing is like chocolate chip cookie at night with cold almond milk. It is like I just lately have been on a kick where I have a healthy dinner and then I'm like, well I need to talk to chip cookies. Yeah. Literally I earned this with the salmon and veggies I had for my appetizer. Um. But Tanya, we had a day on Saturday, becka Antania day. We were gonna watch binge sex in the city. Um, that was the plan. The plan was get together and just binge all day. So Tanya sends me a text, which I'm sure if any of you follow us on Instagram you saw I post the screenshot of it, and she said, um, she basically said, I wish I don't have any sex in the city gear merch, but I wish I did, but maybe we can like talk like Charlotte and Carrie would took me back. First of all, I laughed out loud when I read it, because I was like, no, have you ever read a more Tania thing? And it took me back to when I used to play Beanie Babies with my sister and then she all of a sudden got too old and didn't want to play Beanie Babies with me, and so I'd be like, Katie, do you want to play Beanie Babies? And she'd be like no, like he plays Beanie Babies. But I realized that I was my older sister because I was like, yeah, I backa put like a bash on it so fast before I could even tell her or ask her. I wanted Phoebe to be Elizabeth Taylor. How cute is that? I told her that Phoebe doesn't like role play and she said, how do you know? And I said it's just a gut feeling that I have to listen to on her behalf. But um, A lot of people were very upset with me that I just put the kabash as you say on your suggestion um, but I did wash my matching sweats. I did a full load of lawn dream. Yeah, so we wore matching sweats, which, if you know, you know I love a cohesive moment. So the fact that we were matching all day it made me so happy. Didn't make up for the denial of the role play. It did. And then we ended up not even watching any sex in the city and just watching old Taylor Swift concert videos and like talking the whole day. It was just such a great day, like it did. That day did things for my soul. It was so fun. We need to do those like those need to be happening more than they do. But it also was like rainy and cozy, and it's just like Tany was eating peanut eminem's, which I mean, I don't know. That was a rare sight for her to be eating. Not only was like eating them, I was like chowing them down to the point where I like was so nauseous going to sleep that night, Like I still was feeling that that night. Well, yeah, I'm sure you don't ever eat anything like sugar. It was like if I had a headache, stomach ache. It was not good. Yeah, but I highly recommend getting together with your best friend and putting on some live performances. I suggest Taylor. But if you're not a Tailor fan and any artist, and because here's the thing with Taylor, Okay, you can tell me anything that's going on in your life, any situation, and there's a Taylor Swift song for it, Like truly, it's the craziest thing. Can we try this? Do you all have any hypothetical situations that we can try and pair with the Taylor Slift song. Well, I was the other night, I was in my car listening to one of my playlists and how You Get the Girl came on and that song never got it to do? So what situation in life would that be good for? Um, give me the lyrics again, I'm not in that's how that's how you Get the Girl? Why you for worse of for bed? Tanya said, what do you mean? It's a living right here, Tanya's relationship it is. I'm not I'm not super familiar with that one to like know off the top of my head, that's the that's well, there's a lot that could relate to your Yeah, I mean, like I don't know. It was just like I was in the car with one of my girlfriends, Riquel, and Um, we were just going through the songs and I was just like, there's literally a Taylor Swift song for any situation. So actually, why don't we do it when we go through the emails. When we the emails, I'll give you a Taylor Swift song for each email. Oh that's that's a good way to do that. Mark, to try to do it in reverse, and you can't do that, okay, fair enough, Like you need to give me a situation. And then I'm like, okay, I got it. It doesn't. You gotta play the rules. Play by the rules. Mark, Um, what else happened? I mean, I imagine that we talked about everything this week. My honey jar. Huh, I made a honey jar of oh your intention thing. I explained this to me because it looked messy. No, it's not messy at all. So okay, So what you do is you, um, you write down your intentions. So whatever it is, and it can be like if you're fighting with a friend, or you're fighting with a family member, or you're fighting with a coworker or whatever. It's something in your life that you just want to sweeten so just think about whatever in your life you want to sweeten. So for me, it was like intentions, intentions that I had, and so I wrote them all down on a piece of paper. Then you read them over and really just like imagine them like happening. Okay, Then you roll up the piece of paper, you put it in a mason jar, and then you fill the mason jar with honey, close the mason jar. You put a tea light on the top of the jar, and those tea lights last about two hours. So while it's burning, you just think about your intentions, like coming to light. And you do that every night, and everybody. I got a couple of dams of people saying how wasteful that is of the honey. But you're actually supposed to use the honey. So whenever I have tea or whatever, I'm gonna go in the jar and take a scoop and use it as my honey that you wrote paper and pin is that not contaminated now? I mean, I mean, come on, I mean, i mean I'm sure it is, but like I probably but way worse my body. I mean, for sure, I do, yeah, but like I don't do it intentionally, like you know, no, is it sharpie or just regularly, it's just regular pen. It's like I have like xylotol and my gum and stuff, you know, Like what's a little penny gonna do? Probably nothing? Yeah, um, So I did it on Sunday and it was just like it felt so good, and you know, I'm just like, I'm such a fan of Yeah, you love setting intentions. I just love outward expressions of an inward feeling, you know what I mean. Like I love feeling things on the inside, but doing something on the outside to like I don't know. Well, So I'm looking for houses right now, which, by the way, it is a real competitive situation out here. I'll let you know, if you're looking to buy a house in the l A County area, put strap your boots on because which is so weird because I feel like everybody's trying to move out of l A now, but clearly not. I mean, I think a lot of people are moving out, but I still think there's a lot of people buying houses. Apparently that's what I'm realizing. But on my vision board, I put I've always wanted like a separate like a separated bathtub, you know, like a stand alone bathtub. I don't know what that if that's the term, or you know I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, just like one that's like beautiful and is by itself. And all the homes I've looked at have had built in and so I'm like, built in like at the it's at the bottom of the shower, yeah, or just like a typical bathtub where it's like yeah, built in like that, or built in where it's just not like a standalone bathtub dot it. And so now I'm in my head every house I look at when the bathtubs are not the stand alone, I'm like, it's not the one. And then I'm like, but wait, can't I redo the bathroom and make it that? So I'm torn between if the home that I get is I'm gonna know and I'm gonna it's gonna have the stand alone bathtub or from overthinking and I can build my dream bathroom, but I don't want to have to redo a bunch of stuff. So no, I think that's the outward express or what are your thoughts? Okay, let me tell you. I believe, especially in things like this, the home nuts for you. You're just gonna it's gonna be like, oh, if you have a question, if you're himming and hawing, it's a no. I know, I know, no, No. When it's your home, when it feels right, you're just gonna be overwhelmed with this sense of like this is it is my bathtub? Is my claw bathtub going to be there? I can't say, I can't say yes or no because you're just gonna feel it. Well. I just keep thinking about last year's vision board and how I had that cabin on there and then coincidentally went to the exact same cabin. So if that's the case, then I'm going to find a beautiful home at my price range in Malibu overlooking the ocean, because that's where my vision board photo where the bathtub iss there? You go? Um you ever know? Well, I like I, I I really appreciate for the moon. I really appreciate your I don't always understand them, like the honey thing, but I do respect it because I think a lot of that stuff is hopeful and represents a lot of what you stand for. First of all, I've never heard of it before, and so one of my my boss actually was telling me about it, and I was just like, this is the most t rod thing I have ever heard of. How have I never made a honey jar in my life before? And then she was like, yeah, you can do it if you're like fighting with somebody or whatever. You know, it's just like it's sweetens things. And she's just like a great idea, like making honey jars every night, and so like all this honey in my house, like endless intentions in the honey jar, endless amounts of ink in the Yeah, but that was a real treat. I don't know, like I just feel like, um, I'm you know, turning a corner in terms of just happiness. Are you at a place like do you feel like because you're you want to get married, you want to have kids, like you that there's like a goal of yours right like to for those things to come to fruition. I wouldn't say it's like a goal, not a goal, but a desire and you have a certain time limit in your head when you want it to happen, not necessarily but like because I'd rather be the right person. Well yeah, I mean, yeah, you're not going to just end up with anyone, because if that was the case, then I would have like probably done it with somebody a long time ago. Do you feel like you're ready to jump on the dating horse again. Yeah, So you're just like healing yourself, finding your happiness through being single, reflecting, making, setting intentions, etcetera, etcetera. Because you know what's interesting is like I think that we're always in such a rush to get to the next stage or the next phase, or like, you know, I went through a breakup and I just need to jump back in and like whatever. But it's so interesting. So I posted this story on my Instagram and I was like, um, I just or I was going for a run and I was cleaning out my apartment and saging and like all you know, the tany things. And this woman like wrote me, she dmned me, and she was like, you are living my dream life right now. And she goes, I have a baby throwing up on my chest, another one potty training, my husband just wants to have sex with me all the time, and I feel very unsexy. I would give anything to be in your shoes right now. And I was just like wow, in you know, in like whatever, in that she's like living the dream, you know what I mean. She has a husband who I'm sure she loves very much, and she has two kids and you know what I mean. And she's sitting here telling me that she would give anything to have my day of saging and cleaning and going for a run, you know. And so it's just like I'm trying to be really grateful for just like the present of where I am in life right now, and like I can wake up whenever I want, and I can have a slow breakfast and I can, you know what I mean, like face time with whoever I want, whenever I want. And I'm just trying to kind of take be grateful for that right now. That's really good perspective. It. Let's again on that complaining about the fact that your husband wants to have sex with you all the time a little bit. Well, I don't think she was complaining, but I think she just feels very unsexy. She has like vomit on her understood. But I feel like the guy sees that as a compliment because he sees her as sexy and he and this is how he shows that, and she's seeing it as a negative. Couldn't that be seen as a positive if you spun it the right way? Isn't it all how you look at it, Well, I think it's more so like she probably really appreciates having a husband who sees her as sexy, even in that moment of like the new motherhood and potty training with thro up on her. But in her mind, she's like, I feel like I'm failing when I don't want to have sex because I don't feel good about myself. So I don't necessarily think she's complaining about him wanting to have sex as much as she's just like, I'm trying to do it all and it's a lot for me right now. I didn't even think she was complaining about wanting or him wanting to have sex. I think she was just like I would just like to just yeah, I would just like to sage my house and go for a run too, you know, Like I think it's just like as simple as that. But it was like such a I don't know, did something to me mentally, Like I was like, oh, you know what, I really just need to just be really rooted in gratitude for the season of life that I'm in right now. I think there's a big difference too, between like making someone feel sexy and wanting to have sex with them, and I think a lot of dudes miss that, and I think that's what's happening there. I mean, just from that one sentence, that's what I got out of that, that he that he's like he wants sex, but he's not necessarily like making her feel desired. But I think it's I think I think it's like a I I want sex and I want now versus like versus like yeah, like do because you can make someone feel sexy about having sex with them. I don't know how to do it, but I'm I was like the queen of that. I got some I I like posted a thing of what something irrational that you've gotten sad or mad about when you're p MS s NG And this girl I posted it was so funny to me that because she said, um, my husband told me he was off, like was off work today or something, and I was so I got so upset because I just wanted to be alone, and I thought she was gonna say she got I was thinking she was gonna say I got so emotional because I was so happy that we were gonna have a day together. And then the end took like a you turn. It was like I'm so mad because now I don't get my alone time. But I think that's very human, and I think that there's I mean, if it's happening every day and you're like don't want to spend any time with the person, or you're mad every time they're off work or half free time, that's something to look into. But I think it's very normal to crave that alone time and just sit if that's all you want to do. Yeah. So I think I'm just trying to like in my life, I'm just very I am very goal oriented and like this is what i want next, and this is what I'm going to go after, and I'm just trying to like take the advice of these books that I've been reading and just try to be very present. And I mean, like I had a really great weekend, you know what I mean, Like had Greek night here or Greek food, were cute white dress, like zoomed with one of my girlfriends out of town, and like had fun festive Friday, spent all Saturday with my best friend watching Taylor Swift videos, dancing and crying and eating Eminem's and then making my honey jar on Sunday. Like what a great weekend. It was superb um. Well, on another note, I literally thought someone was in my home last night when I was by myself. Not last night, yesterday afternoon. Um. But before I talk about that, we're going to take a break. All right, we are back. So yesterday I am in my Uh would you say that I I have an apartment or town What is my place? Like a condo townhouse? I don't know. It's weird because it setups like it's not like like what do you call yours apartment? Okay, so my apartment? Um, all the units are close to each other. So like a lot of times, I keep Phoebe's patio door open so she can go in and out to the grass, and I can hear if someone opens their door, it makes the same noise at my door makes um. And the only two doors in my house that make that noise or the front door and then my patio door up on my roof. Would you get to from my bedroom? So yesterday I'm in the kitchen and I was about to go look at a house and I'm making punch and I here the noise go off, and Phoebe wasn't there with me, so like she didn't bark her anything because she wasn't there. And I'm I'm looking at my front door and it's just closed and locked, and I'm like, has someone entered my home upstairs? Like someone in my bedroom? So I panic. I do the first thing, logical thing. I go on Instagram and tell everybody what's going on, And to be honest, I was just kind of like, realistically, what is And then I really started getting in my head because I am like, I have a full security system everywhere in my house except up there for some reason, because no one ever really goes up there. It's normally just stays locked and shut. So I take a knife. I go up stairs because I don't I don't have a bat, I don't have anything. I take a knife. I go upstairs, and I'm looking in like every nook and cranny I can find. I'm looking under the bed, I look in the shower, look in the bathtub, in the closets. There was a lot of load of laundry on my bed. I looked under that in case they could have fit. You know, you just don't know, UM could have camouflaged in there. And so I go up and the freaking patio door is unlocked. It's shut, but it's unlocked, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna call um, I'm gonna call Hayley was over and she went and took a call out there, and so when she had come back in, I said, hey, did you lock that door when you came in? And she goes, yeah, And that was like the end of the conversation. I should have gone and checked, but I didn't because I was trying to let go my o c D need to check. And so I call her and I'm like, hey, when you came back in the other day, are you one certain that you locked that door? And she was like, I don't have a visual image of me locking it because I walked out it was sunny, and so I came back it was too sunny, so I came back in. But I don't think I locked. I think I just shut it. So like, if that door had been locked, I wouldn't have thought twice about I would have thought like, Okay, maybe that was the neighbor's door I heard, But because it was open, I'm freaking, I'm paranoid. I'm on high alert. Um, I've now convinced myself that maybe they put a secret, like they bugged my I thought that before, like they like, there's like a camera in here. Remember when I had um lucky charm. I don't even know what we called whatever. We don't even know what we called him on the podcast literally the doctor screen time. Oh when he came and staid with me for five days, remember I was like, I was like, he bugged my apartment. I was like there was a video camera and here somewhere. Like I was paranoid for like a month after he was. I like, no, in my head that it was just it didn't get it didn't get locked. It was probably the neighbors. But like my psycho brain goes to a dark place. So yeah, dealing with that. You know what's interesting, I actually thought about sleeping with the bat next to my bed lately. It's not it's not not smart, And I have a taser by my bed. Should I have MACEE next to my bed? I don't. I would have better mace or a bat. I mean, I don't think about which one you're less likely to use on your Yeah, bat, but that could be taken from you, So I don't know. I have both. Yeah, really the options are endless. But I I ordered this thing, so like on my sliding doors, I have this thing where it blocks so even if someone unlocks it, they can't get in because it's blocked. Um, So I have that on there now. I feel fully just set up safe, etcetera. When I was a kid, I remember my friend's family where I don't know where we had been, but they dropped me off at my house and they lived right down the street. But on the way it was only a block, but they just pulled it over so I can get out. And I walk up to my house and no one's home, and I knew no one was going to be home, but the front door was wide open, and it was after dark, and I was like, I don't know nine and I like, no, this is not good. And I remember so distinctly running down to the Strader's house, Mrs Traders Trader, Mrs Trader like I could barely speak, I was so frightened, and telling her what happened. She called the cops. The cops came, and I could still remember seeing my dark house and they wouldn't turn lights on. I'm not sure why the police didn't turn lights on, because I remember seeing the flashlights going back and forth inside my house as they looked around my house lights on would be a much more thorough search. Anyway, nobody was in there. My dad had left the door when he left, and boy was my mom pissed at my dad that night. That is so scary, But scary for a little Marquis, Yeah, little Mark Mark. Well yeah, I I, um, I realized I can be. I'm already hyper paranoid, like I have all the things. I've always had a camera up there, and then I took it down because I had to record a sponsored post for it, so I just never put it back up. So that thing's going my burbo camera, It's going right up there telling you. Um. So yeah, that was the excitement of my day and probably for the next month or so where I don't sleep well that would yikes. It's fine. I'm protected, it's fine. Pray about it. Are we going to play our truth or dayer game? I mean our truth true or false game or whenever it is? Yeah? Okay. So there's this trend on Instagram where people so say like true or false statements and then whoever is doing the game they answer if it's true or if it's false, and kind of explain. So, like example, somebody would say true, or your hair your hair is naturally brown, and I would say true, but I have highlights and extensions, and my hair also is gray because I'm like eight four year old inside, I guess. So that's that's kind of how it goes. It is kind of true. You do have a lot of grays, are so I literally am yeah, I have so many gas you know. I was shocked at that. Um So Eastern and Mark have the questions. Tanya and I haven't seen them, so we have no idea what they are, so we're just we're going in blind. All right. These are very specific to you guys, though these aren't general things like your hair is naturally brought, right. I just use that as an example. Okay, all right, good, all right, I will begin Becca. You kind of knew Red Star was not the one for telling your true or false. That's you're really starting out with the bank. This is so, I mean, I can I be honest, this is my true, this is my truth. I didn't. I thought that he could be the one, but I thought that there were a lot of challenges that they would face if he was the one. And I could also see her falling in love with someone else and having that relationship. I literally have no. I mean that's literally how my brain has worked through your whole relationship. Like he's wonderful, he's a great guy, but he did have there were certain things that made the relationship more challenging that I thought, could Tanya find someone and have the same and have a deep love for someone else? And I thought, yes, So that's my answer. Even though it's not necessarily directly true or false. That was a hard Well, you gotta start strong, Eastern, you're up, alright, this is this is for Tanya. Uh true false? Tanya has used a horoscope as an excuse to not date someone. Very true or what was that? What was their sign? Gemini? Oh yeah you really aren't, heinks so Gemini. But she's great, you know there are here's the thing there, I do know one Gemini that I like love very dearly. Like he's like one of the greatest men in the entire world. He's my mentor. He's Gemini. And so I don't think all Geminis are bad, but they definitely have to like two sides of them, and so they can be too good sides. But you just murky waters. Okay, Okay, I don't know that you should rule out eight point three percent of the population when it comes to dating people. And I also don't think you should insult eight point of our listeners who are Gemini. I know anytime I say stuff about Geminis on my Instagram, I get so much hate from people being like, we're not all that bad, Becky, who's on our zoom because I'm a Gemini? Sad base. My mother, who you've met, is a Gemini. She's a delightful woman. Yes, I'm not saying they're all bad. I'm just saying for me, particularly if I I just it's just I'd rather steer there, all right, Becky, Sorry, Tania will not be and I will not be dating you, Becky. Uh true or false? Becca secretly loves Tanya's neediness. Ah false? But I love Okay, well, y'all are I mean? I guess these are just going to be controversial, calm like answers for me in the whole time. But I love Tanya for who she is. But I don't secret I don't secretly love neediness from anyone like I don't love neediness, but I love Tanya and I am willing because we're best friends to compromise when she needs a long hug to give that to her, would you agree? I agree? Yeah, alright, Tanya. Sure. False. If you didn't have the podcast, you two wouldn't be as close, or you would have drifted apart um. I think it's false, But I do think that the podcast definitely helped us in this pandemic, Ah, stay closer. I think the pandemic kind of I think it kind of forced everybody a little bit to just kind of be in their own little silos, you know, And then when the world started opening back up again, we like made more of an effort. But I think the pandemic in the beginning, I think the podcast kept us closer. But aside from that, yeah, I don't fully agree, but I think without the podcast we still would have been closed. But I think it brought us closer, just like anything when you're doing something together. Remember the beginning, when we were like having to like zoom and like I was just not in a good place. No, none of us were, alright back at true or false? You spend more on fast food in a week than grocery store food in a week. Okay, up until recently, that would be true. But the last since I've been back from Louisiana for with my for Christmas, I've had fast food one time, which was in and out impressive. I've been cooking and trying to eat healthier than ever before. I feel better too, but you know, sometimes sometimes they get a hankering for, you know, one of my favorite fast food joints, and if I do, like, I'm not, I'm not like I don't know if I talked about this on the podcast, but I got a stomach virus the last day I was in Louisiana and the last thing it was Kane's, which was devastated. Yeah, Eastern Wide Eyes. I know. So like that, I haven't craved fast food because that's what I threw up, you know. So it's a weird blessing in a way. But um yeah, so lately I've been spending more on groceries because that's what I've been eating. Alright. Telling you true or false, you were very popular in high school? Okay, this is actually so in my reality. I always say I was not popular in high school because I was like such a nerd, like I had like the like you know, like I started the Shaker John Mayor fan club and like I was like the spirit leader and all the assemblies and stuff like that. But my best friend John Hale was the most popular guy in school, and so he would like make all the football players send up for my club, and like, you know, people like I was liked, but I wouldn't consider myself popular. Does that make sense? But you hung with the cool crowd. I hung with every track is the best I know. So I could see you getting residual popularity just kind of from him, like you would get it would kind of ooze off of him, and you would gain it and return. Yeah. Like so I would say, like I wouldn't say it was necessarily popular, but I would people liked me, and I didn't necessarily have Like I wasn't like part of the popular group, but I wasn't like not I think that's the best way to be. Yeah, I was kind of scattered around you. You have a lot of friends, but you're not in that group that everyone kind of dislikes. Yeah, alright, Becca, you're scared to have children? True or false? True? I don't blame you. It is like it's weird because I'm very naturally maternal, so like I'm not scared of me being able to be a mom or anything like that doesn't scare me at all. Like I think if someone brought a child to me and said, I'm sorry, I gotta go, you gotta take care of the thing, I could do it and do it well. However, the idea of raising children in this world right now and TikTok and all this terrifies me. But it terrifies me because even when you have kids and you feel like you got it down, you're terrified of the next step. Like right now, I've got a teenager and a preteen. I'm scared to death of having two teenagers. Like you know, whatever coming next, that's scary. So it's all scary. Yeah, oh god, But you know, sometimes you gotta do things that scare you. So like I'm not saying what they say and challenge you doesn't change lives by every every situation you can apply that. That's right, all right, speaking of challenging you, true or false, Tania, you have a higher tolerance for alcohol than Becca does. Yeah, because she drinks more than I do. That's right, But it used to be reversed. That was not the case. Like when I was living. When I was living my life and just out and drinking, I was like, I could handle some liquor, that's true, But I think I think I could still out drink you. Then, really, yeah, girl, Well now that the answer is truth, because I go down quick these days, knows what's up, also knows what's up in a different way. True or false, Becca, you still have a box of roses from the Bachelor in your apartment. Okay, if you know me at all, you know that as false. As if I would be able to keep that, that would be a true for Tanya, but for for me. No, Like all the girls were trying to preserve theirs and keep them safe, and mine were like smushed in my suitcase somewhere, and I was like finally, I was like, all right, you've got to get rid of these sad Well, it was sad that I got dumped twice in a row. Yeah, I would only hold on them if it ended well, I might have done that, but also maybe the final rows or something. Yeah, are they real roses? Yeah? A lot of the girls like dried them out, like would hang them and dry them out. I didn't have time, but I was sleeping when I could, I still of my boot and hear from senior prom The dried out and I did all that stuff too, and then it just like kind of got weird to keep it, you know. Yeah, Eastern actually weirdly through that out a few days ago. Just maybe toss it, you know, I'm just going through stuff. It's it's weird, Hey, Tanya, true or false? You are not a pet person. Um, I don't have a pet, so I'm not a pet person, but I do want a pet. You don't dislike animals, right, No, I love animals, and like you get a pet single. You know what's funny. A friend of ours, Tani, was like, you should get a cat, and I was like, I can't love her cat. She loves her cat, and I was just like I cannot be the single cat lady, like just I can't. Like yeah, I was like, I can't do it. I don't love that comparison like cats rabb your spet cats. But I also I don't particularly gravitate towards cats, so that's you know, I actually think that I'm more of just Phoebe, which is just like stand offish and does her own thing. Yeah, Like I like playing with other people's pets, but I don't think I'm ready to have their responsibility of having my own pet. Be loves Tanya like she freaks out and like we'll not leave her alone for the first ten minutes. You know, I'm like Phoebe, I'm I'm hugging you like I'm loving you. What do you want? What else you want for me? Yeah? All right, Eastan, find pick one more good one. All right, I'll end with this one. True or false? Beecca, you're still going strong with Yeah, it's a happy ending, alright, Tanya. True or false? You are a bigger Grays fan than Becca. I'd say falls just because I haven't been watching it as long, but i'd yeah, I'd say false. Yeah, I would have to say. I feel like you've watched each episode more times, and it's like Fresher and I watch it probably more often than you do because I watch it weekly. Until you have YouTube musical montages of Derek and Meredith scenes that that's what we should do on our next day. Yeah, I haven't done it in so long. I'm so I hope that the ones that I love are still up there. By the way, we got news today that Grays is now March eleventh, they pushed it back yet another week. My gosh, mark with the bad news just so I like, I have found myself lately like watching like the older seasons, and I like forget that Derek was married before Meredith. Oh yeah, I forget these things because they were like so each other's person and you know me, I like draw the parallels. I'm like, oh, my gosh, you know that reminds me. Do you know? I would be absolutely thrilled if they brought Addison back. She was just on in private practice. She's still living and everything. But I don't know if I would like to her to come back. I have literally loved Addison so much. I followed private I went on to private practice unlike her. But I'd rather like Arizona come back, or like April. I would be happy with Arizona and Calie coming back. That that would make me happy. April would be great, Alex would be Christina would be great. Christina like, can we get Christina BacT I'm sorry, but this is sitting next to me in the chair, and I just try. It's just if you're listening, it is a Fender ukulele pink as it would be you guys, it's really I'm not gonna lie. It's kind of defeating. Becca. The third box from the head pulled down the very the string on the very bottom, just that string strom it that's out of tune, that should be that's pretty out of tune. So if Tony you might need to have someone tuning, we're able to like do anything with it. Honestly, it's very it's been very defeating. And I just want to shout out to anybody that listens to scrubbing in that plays any sort of instrument, um my hat is tipped to you, because is this has really been the downfall. Like you know, I'm Tanya and I can do whatever I set my mind to, and I can achieve any goal. And I just you know, if you don't succeed at first, you try try again, and you keep trying. And this is really um I just I have to tell you something though. You could literally have John Mayer coming to play this and if it's out of tune, it's gonna sound bad. Oh yes, as I said, someone tune that no matter what you do, it's gonna sound like, oh my gosh, yeah you videos my dog has please that's the uning. I didn't even know that that was the thing. Okay, maybe I'll start go back and start there, because let me tell you, if I have been I felt very like deflated over that to the point where like I'm not giving up yet, but it's teetering. Well, I want to encourage you to get it tuned and then try again. Okay, I can do that. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. It's cute. It's a pink ukulele matches something in your house, I'm sure. Um. I think we have some emails which I'm really excited to read now that we're going to take it back to Taylor Slift song. Yeah, solid emails, but we are going to take another break and we'll be right back with some emails. All right, we are back Mark, We have some we have some tough emails. So, um, we're gonna give our best advice and then we'll see if there's a Taylor Swift relatable song. Before we do that, I gotta recommend this show to you. Now. It's a little bit outside the box from what we normally recommend here and what I normally recommend, but here's how it goes. Saturday Night, I was so The way it works in my house is I say good night to my aunguest, my eleven year old, and then I wait while my wife finishes tidying up and doing her nightly ablutions, and then she joins me we watched the show together. What's in ablution? It's that you're just kind of your nightly grooming rituals ablutions. I do like the word. It is a fun word. I'm going to start using. I'm okay, good listen to the morning. She'll bring it up. I'll say it one day this week. Okay. So I just finished putting down my daughter and I was on Twitter and I saw a bunch of people recommending a show on Hulu. It's called Derek del Gaudios in and of itself, and I thought, what the hell is this? Why are these people that I know in respect on Twitter recommending this show? Part Yeah, people like you know, it's like Jedda Apatow, Stephen Colbert, like, I think these people are funny and they're all recommending this show, and that's interesting. So I looked up a review of it and the reviewer was absolutely floored by it. So like, well, you know what, I got an hour? I'm gonna watch this thing. What the hell I'm going to call an audible? Which is not my routine I have. I have a strict routine every day of my life and every hour. I'm very regimented. Rather, I'm gonna wash this, so I turned it out. So what it is. It's a live show that did in New York like five and fifty times, and they recorded a bunch of them, filmed a bunch of them and spliced them together. And it's this guy who, uh, he does some magic and he tells some stories, and then alone made me think like, all right, maybe I'll try this. I cannot tell you how blown away I was by this show, not because of the magic. I cried twice. It is so incredibly moving. A lot of it is about your true identity, who you are keeping and exactly I thought. I thought I saw you ruling your eyes when I said the word magic, and I knew you would. When the people arrive at this show, there there they see. And this is right at the beginning, so I'm not spoiling anything. It's a wall of hundreds and hundreds of little cards and each one says I am, and then you know there's five answers. I am a father, I am a producer, I am amazing, I am a musician, I am everything whatever. There's hundreds of these, and the audience member is supposed to take one that they think describes them the best and their true identity, even if it's not who other people think they are. They know that this is who they really are. And I don't want to give anything else away because that plays a big role in how this goes forward. But I thought, I'm just gonna watch a few card tricks before my wife comes a bit and I'm sitting there crying. It's incredible. Wait, what's it? Okay? Derek del Gaudio's in and of itself. It's like nothing I've ever seen before. Oh, I am thrilled. I've been I've been watching amazing race shows about identity, like are you kidding? Yeah? I love an emotional breakthrough show. So as soon as it was done, I texted Eastern and I said, you've got to watch this. It's on our list room the next couple of days. Good, I'm gonna I'm gonna watch this week and I'll have a report back on Monday. Please do. And I hope people find it because it's it's a it's a gem and I've never heard of it. It's just one. It's a it's it's a movie. Really, it's now, which is one thing? Yeah, alright, emails, here we go, and what Taylor Swift song do they relate to? This one is from Samora. I've never been comfortable or felt really myself dating or sleeping with men. I finally came out at the age of five, but I had never been in a relationship before that. I thought coming out would explain everything and hopefully I would now get my happily ever after, I'm not thirty five and I've still never been in a relationship. Is my biggest insecurity. I was in an off and on again thing with someone for years, but there's never any sparks or butterflies. Do you think there really is someone for everyone? Mm hmmm. See now I'm so fixated. I'm trying to find the Taylor Swift song. I'm but I mean, we don't care about the Taylor's Okay. Well, for me, it's easy because I do believe that. Um, I do believe that there's somebody for everybody, and I definitely don't think that just how she's thirty five now, and she said she still hasn't found it. I don't think that that means anything, really, anybody she's never been in a relationship. I don't necessarily think that that means anything. I just think that it's just taking. You know, everybody has their own timing in life, and there's a reason why you haven't met that person. I think that person maybe still being made to be your partner um and being perfected in that way, you know, and so um, yeah, I don't know. I'm a hopeless romantic. So I do think that there's somebody out there for you, and I wouldn't be worried about it. I think that. I I think it's hard. I think it's easy to say that when you have experienced those sparks and butterflies. You know, you'd say it again. Like, I think it's easy to be hopeful when you have experienced, even if it was short lived or if it wasn't reciprocated, to experience that, whether it's with a guy or girl, whatever the case. Like I think it's I I just want to say somewhere that, like I I can understand why you are questioning things and feeling discouraged by this because I think a lot of us experience that spark and butterfly. I mean even early on, like I I had it for people who didn't reciprocate it for me or enough for it to be a relationship, But I got that butterfly feel that yeah, that spark when you saw them, of like excitement that you really can't even explain. It's like not even a tangible thing that you can like put into words. And then in my relationship now it's the first relationship where it has been reciprocated. And I think I think now knowing that you haven't really experienced it with women or men, I think that can kind of take the pressure off like your identity or your sexuality whatever that maybe and just know that it can come out of nowhere and it can happen. It could happen this year, It could happen tomorrow. It could take a few years for that to happen. But don't feel discouraged that it's never going to happen. And maybe this would be something where you could talk to someone and maybe there's walls up where you don't even allow your brain to go there where you can experience that feeling because it's kind of scary to feel that feeling of like not really having control over your heart and your brain and there's like so much happening. And maybe they say when you're looking to the north, it just hits you. So but I do think there are there's people that specialize in, um, you know, intimacy and sexuality and kind of figuring out maybe there's something going on and it's it has nothing to do with anyone else. And maybe you've put up these walls or these blockers where you are scared to feel that. I don't know. I I'm just trying. I just want to say, like, don't get so defeated that you give up on the possibility of it happening, but also know that it's okay to reach out for help and talk to someone who might be able to help guide you and figure out what's going on. And um. And then there's people who are a sexual and they don't feel those like intimate sparks and feelings towards anyone, and they have people that are their partner and their friends, and UM, it could be the case for you. But everyone is different and everyone experiences these moments at different times. Some people can look back on a time where they were a child and had that spark and butterfly and then some people it takes many, many years, and so um, just know that there's time for everybody. And who knows if I don't know that I'm as hope hopeful as Tanya. But I do like to say that there's someone out there that can be a partner for you, and I do believe that. Yeah, I just think if it's such a desire of your heart, like you know, I really do believe because the desire of your heart that it will get fulfilled. Yeah. I like to believe that too. But you there has to be you know, willingness to be hopeful and not give up true. And I mean it's like Matthew Hasti always says, you have to just like you can't just sit there and be like, hope love comes my way. You know, you have to like be proactive, get out there, meet some people. Tough to do these days. But I think you both had really good advice and you both come at it from a different angle. I feel like for Becca, I feel like the sparks and butterflies have been more rare in your life. We're time you I feel like you get sparks and butterflies pretty regularly, so it's good to hear from both sides. I get the sparks, I get the butterflies, I get tingles of a vagina. Very picky where I where I allow those Like, I'm like, because you do kind of sometimes I think your your brain can shut off when you fear getting rejected or if it's not reciprocated. Sometimes for me, I can be like, I'm not even gonna let myself go there and feel anything because I could get hurt if I do that. You know what, I got a lot of messages um from from women just saying um like asking me if I'm gonna start dating again and if I'm gonna get back on the horse, because they're just like, heartbreak is so painful, Like honestly, I feel like it's like one of the worst feelings ever. I would not even wish it upon my worst enemy. That sometimes I think people get scared to even put themselves back out there again because of that fear of losing it again. You know, like if freaking sucks, like it's like the worst pain ever and just it's like almost like you keep putting yourself back on this treadmill to just get hurt again. You know. But it's like, you know, put yourself on that tread and back on that treadmill. Then you're just gonna stay where you are. And if you're happy where you are, then that's fine. There's you know, no problem with that. But if you want something else, then you just have to just faith overfear it. Do it if what does this saying? It's like, do it with fear mark? You have this quote something about doing it? Yeah, like if you're scared, just do it scared or whatever or something like that. Yeah, something like that, if you're scared to do it, then just do it scared or something. Okay, my Taylor Swift song for this, Yeah, I have one what endgame? I want to be your end game? So that is the person that's out there they're singing that to you. Mind's treacherous. It's like the fear of putting yourself out there to get hurt, both both good and I believe. The quote is if you can't beat fear, do it's scared? Yeah? Yeah, Yeah, that's it. That's it. It Can you text me that? I like that? Sure? All right? This is from anonymous My best friend blind sided me this week. We were drinking and playing games with friends and she told us she was going to ask her brother to be her man of honor in her wedding. We've been best friends for twelve years. She was my maid of honor. I have a very small circle of friends, and at this point in my life, I truly can't see anyone else asking me to be their maid of honor. I always thought she would be mine and now would be hers, and it hurts on so many levels. It makes me feel like maybe we aren't as close as I thought we were. Do I say something to her? Or is that too selfish? I totally get that her wedding day is not about me, But how do I shake this off? What song should we pick for this one? Really? Um just led right to it? There? Um you want to start? Yeah? I mean I think my my advice on this is it's her day, and if she wants her brother to be her man of honor, then you need to just let her do that. This isn't I know it hurts your feelings, but a lot of things hurt your feelings, you know what I mean? Like and that's okay because her wedding isn't about you. So as much as it sucks, and I'm sorry, like it is pay full like that would hurt my feelings, but at the end of the day, it's really not about you, so I wouldn't say anything. And I think a lot of times I don't know if she only has a brother or if she has a sister, but her if she had a sister, a lot of people have their sisters, Like my sisters will probably be made of honors, like you know, it'll be that it's my sister. Yeah, and you'll be a bridesmaid. But like I think, is a best friend your job whatever, I just rolled my eyes and move on. But um, I think, is a best friend your job, and in this friendship and when it's her wedding, is to show up and be a maid of honor to everything that you can to make her day the best day ever because it's about her And if her brother being up there standing by her side is what she wants, then you show up and you be the best bridesmaid and friend that you can be. And also it's like her brother, like no fence, he's probably not gonna you know what I mean, want to do any details. Like that's what I'm like, you need to get the penis straws and all the things. Yeah, I was just gonna say, like, like get the role, like the title of the roll out of your head and be that person, like be take on the role of maid of honor and do whatever you can to step up. You know what I like about that? Well, she's pointing at me hard because we're so fixated on titles and boxes and things, and it's just like, so you're not the maid of honor. You can still fully help out and like do all the things that you want for your best friend, but you just don't have the title. And I would just I like, I'm a tony, like and if it hurts, like it's you're allowed to be hurt by that, but also like you gotta put your feelings aside on this and tell her, Hey, I know that you're having your brother as the man of honor, but I want to step up and do whatever I can to make this like the greatest day of your life. So um, yeah, just try and shake it, shake it off, shake it off. It's her brother. I remember on our wedding day, it was very very the day in July of two thousand two in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and in the limo, my wife had her maid of honor blowing a fan up her wedding dress as we drove from one venue to the next. Her brother's not doing that. That's gonna be your job. You're gonna be handling all of the real duties. So that's great. You'll be there for her, and that's what matters. Yeah, just know in your mind that you are the maid of honor and he's the man of honor, and if if it's not your title, that's that's what you need to do as her best friend of twelve years. Wow, And I feel like we nailed them with the Taylor so songs. It's it's hard when like you're just going through your rolodex, you know, you know, It's just I don't know why because I think obviously, like you know, when you're going through a breakup, Taylor Swift is just easy thing to lean on. Um. But like I've been like listening to the songs in such a different way now, you know what I mean, Like, um, Red is just like hitting me on like such a different level than it's ever hit me before. I mean, I think I've listened to Red maybe five hundred times. This Red was your first breakup album, didn't you listen to the Yeah, I'm going back. I just I mean, stands the test of time. And then there's the other one, Um, the the one that we watched the video. You can hear it in the silence, no no, no, no love. This love is good, This love is bad. This love is a love back from the dead. Oh, these hands had to let it go free. And it's like in act singing form. I'm just really finding some gems in Taylor Swift's music and her rolodex and I just would like to say thank you again. Okay, I might change my my song for some more because I think I'm going to do Jump the Fall, which is an old one, but it talks about don't be afraid to jump and then fall. Mm hmm it's good. Um, well, what song? What Taylor song? Would you say? It represents your life right now? Um? You see white Horse? But why would that be the one. It's like just the most fairy tale, romantic song. I'm not pritty know it's like a breakup song. It is. I mean, where where does one begin? I would say you know in my life right now, take out my like my relationship more so, just my personal life is clean. So I'm like really ridding myself of a lot of the expectations from other people and just kind of cleaning myself of. I love that, Thank you, I do. I love that. It's a great one, guys, care to share. I don't know if it's appropriate in my life, but I haven't getting very into exile lately. And I know, you know, a little late to that party, but man, is that great when when he when he's saying, like, you know, I never learned to read your mind. You never gave a warning sign, and she's like, I gave so many signs, Mark, it is my favorite part of the song. And she's just like you can feel the fight of like you never told me, and she's like, I gave you so many. I mean, I know, it's just I know you guys. I mean really, I'm just I can't. Every Tailor song just hits me right now, like literally every single one for me. The one that really represents my life right now is a thug story, the one she did with t Paine. Oh yeah, yeah, a little spin on love story. Yeah, I had a dream last night, I had high top nacks, I had diamonds on my mouth and diamonds on my mic. When a dime I woke, I was singing I'm on a boat. I could do the whole thing. I've never heard that one. It's really good. I'll send you linked to it that will be immediately happening after the podcast. UM, well that note. What a beautiful way to end. What's your yours? It's like, I can't even mean it's red and it goes for red, it goes to U this love, and then I knew your trouble. No no, yeah, I was like, and that that one isn't clinging to me because for some reason, it's like very like childish, a little bit for the deep ones even tolerate it. Oh oh yeah, Like it's just I mean all of them, like I just I have like a I'm making like an Emo Taylor playlist and I just keep listening to over. You have to make that public. A lot of people are wanting your public playlists, so you have to work on those. UM. We love you all so much. I hope that you have a wonderful week. UM, lift each other up, be kind to each other. Show love to each other and just know that people are going through things that you may not know about and that's why it's important to be kind all the time or don't say anything at all. Um I love you all so much. We will be back next week and can't wait. Can't wait. Bye, love you bye,