We’re breaking down the effects of toxic masculinity. Our guest, Zachary Wagner helps us redefine a healthy sexual ethic within the Christian faith, particularly in the wake of trauma & purity culture. Drawing insights from his book, Zachary explains how traditional teachings about sexuality can often dehumanize men and women. We propose a rehumanizing approach that honors God and embraces a full personhood perspective.

Key Points Discussed:
Purity Culture and Its Pitfalls
Beyond Sexual Behavior to a Proper Sexual Ethic
Dehumanization in Traditional Teachings About Sex
Rehumanizing Sex in Marriage
Why Some Fear Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

Listener Takeaways:
For Singles: Understand and develop a sexual ethic that honors yourself and others beyond mere adherence to rules.
For Married Couples: Explore how to engage in your sexual relationship that is rehumanizing and considers the holistic well-being of both partners.
For Church Leaders: Encourage teachings and dialogues that address the deeper relational and spiritual aspects of sexuality rather than focusing solely on behavior.

Links Mentioned in this Episode: 

Zachary Wagner’s Website & Book

Take my free “How Connected a Partner are You” Quiz!

Visit www.realrelationshiptalk.com/187 for the full show notes and more resources!



Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE and I'd love your 5-star rating and review!

We’re breaking down the effects of toxic masculinity. Our guest, Zachary Wagner helps us redefine a healthy sexual ethic within the Christian faith, particularly in the wake of trauma &amp; purity culture. Drawing insights from his book, Zachary explains how traditional teachings about sexuality can often dehumanize men and women. We propose a rehumanizing approach that honors God and embraces a full personhood perspective.
Key Points Discussed:
<ul>
<li>Purity Culture and Its Pitfalls</li>
<li>Beyond Sexual Behavior to a Proper Sexual Ethic</li>
<li>Dehumanization in Traditional Teachings About Sex</li>
<li>Rehumanizing Sex in Marriage</li>
<li>Why Some Fear Sexual Intimacy in Marriage</li>
</ul>
Listener Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>For Singles: Understand and develop a sexual ethic that honors yourself and others beyond mere adherence to rules.</li>
<li>For Married Couples: Explore how to engage in your sexual relationship that is rehumanizing and considers the holistic well-being of both partners.</li>
<li>For Church Leaders: Encourage teachings and dialogues that address the deeper relational and spiritual aspects of sexuality rather than focusing solely on behavior.</li>
</ul>
Links Mentioned in this Episode: 
<a href="https://www.zacharycwagner.com/">Zachary Wagner’s Website &amp; Book</a> 
<a href="https://danache.com/partnerquiz">Take my free “How Connected a Partner are You” Quiz!</a>
Visit <a href="https://realrelationshiptalk.com/episode187">www.realrelationshiptalk.com/187 </a>for the full show notes and more resources!
 
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE and I'd love your 5-star rating and review!

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle? Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.

Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clichés—Dana’s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week. 

Whether you’re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself. 

Let the rebuild begin!  

**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle?&nbsp;Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.
Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clich&eacute;s&mdash;Dana&rsquo;s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week.&nbsp;
Whether you&rsquo;re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself.&nbsp;
Let the rebuild begin! &nbsp;
**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach & speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles. 

With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach &amp; speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles.&nbsp;
With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clich&eacute;s over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

We’re breaking down the effects of toxic masculinity. Our guest, Zachary Wagner helps us redefine a healthy sexual ethic within the Christian faith, particularly in the wake of trauma & purity culture.

The Truth About Toxic Masculinity & Rehumanizing Sex in Marriage

We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves—marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work?

In this episode, I break down five reasons your marriage might feel difficult right now, and more importantly, how to fix it. Even good couples go through seasons of tension, frustration, and emotional distance but understanding the root causes of your marriage problems can change everything.

I talk about how communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, unresolved hurt, and emotional disconnection can slowly impact the health of your relationship.

If you want to strengthen your marriage, improve communication, and rebuild intimacy, this episode will help you see what might be happening and where to start.

This episode is especially helpful if you are:


Struggling with conflict in your marriage


Feeling emotionally disconnected from your spouse


Trying to rebuild trust after relationship challenges


Looking for faith-based encouragement for your marriage

Marriage can be hard at times, but so can nearly everything in life. Ultimately, life is full of choices, including choosing your hard. Maintaining self-control despite challenges or engaging in destructive behaviors are both hard in their own ways. Choose wisely.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Ep. 288: 7 Traits to Create a More Resilient Relationship

Enter to win the "100 Book Reviews Contest" for Tried and True

Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True companion devotional here

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves&mdash;marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work?
In this episode, I break down five reasons your marriage might feel difficult right now, and more importantly, how to fix it. Even good couples go through seasons of tension, frustration, and emotional distance but understanding the root causes of your marriage problems can change everything.
I talk about how communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, unresolved hurt, and emotional disconnection can slowly impact the health of your relationship.
If you want to strengthen your marriage, improve communication, and rebuild intimacy, this episode will help you see what might be happening and where to start.
This episode is especially helpful if you are:
<ul data-start="2280" data-end="2497">
<li data-section-id="lbj5nk" data-start="2280" data-end="2325">
Struggling with conflict in your marriage
</li>
<li data-section-id="ds93c8" data-start="2326" data-end="2379">
Feeling emotionally disconnected from your spouse
</li>
<li data-section-id="1n92dt5" data-start="2380" data-end="2437">
Trying to rebuild trust after relationship challenges
</li>
<li data-section-id="165znt3" data-start="2438" data-end="2497">
Looking for faith-based encouragement for your marriage
</li>
</ul>
Marriage can be hard at times, but so can nearly everything in life. Ultimately, life is full of choices, including choosing your hard. Maintaining self-control despite challenges or engaging in destructive behaviors are both hard in their own ways. Choose wisely.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:&nbsp;
Ep. 288:&nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/288-7-traits-to-create-resilient-relationships/">7 Traits to Create a More Resilient Relationship</a>
<a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book">Enter to win the "100 Book Reviews Contest" for Tried and True</a>
<a href="https://triedandtruemarriagebook.com">Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True companion devotional here</a>
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
&nbsp;

We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves—marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work?

5 Reasons Your Marriage Feels So Hard (And How to Start Fixing It)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/d1959e30-9fd4-4efd-aca3-b40f0153083d/transcript

Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you? What do you do when you feel like you’re coming in second place in your marriage, or as I call it, “playing second fiddle.” 

I open up about with wisdom straight from my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, specifically taking you into the story of Jacob and Leah from the book of Genesis. If you’ve ever felt undervalued, overlooked, or like you just can't win your spouse’s affection—this episode is for you.

Plus, I'll unpack key conversation starters you can use to reconnect with your spouse and discuss these feelings in a healthy, constructive way. And, I’ll close out with a special prayer to cover you and your marriage.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:


What “playing second fiddle” looks like in marriage today


Lessons from Jacob and Leah: How God values those who feel unseen


How insecurity shows up—in-laws, kids, friends, or “ideals”


Why your worth and purpose can’t come from your spouse alone


Two powerful conversation starters to cultivate security and intimacy


A prayer for healing, unity, and renewed value in your marriage

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you? What do you do when you feel like you&rsquo;re coming in second place in your marriage, or as I call it, &ldquo;playing second fiddle.&rdquo;&nbsp;
I open up about with wisdom straight from my new book,&nbsp;Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, specifically taking you into the story of Jacob and Leah from the book of Genesis. If you&rsquo;ve ever felt undervalued, overlooked, or like you just can't win your spouse&rsquo;s affection&mdash;this episode is for you.
Plus, I'll unpack key conversation starters you can use to reconnect with your spouse and discuss these feelings in a healthy, constructive way. And, I&rsquo;ll close out with a special prayer to cover you and your marriage.
Here&rsquo;s what you&rsquo;ll hear in this episode:
<ul>
<li>
What &ldquo;playing second fiddle&rdquo; looks like in marriage today
</li>
<li>
Lessons from Jacob and Leah: How God values those who feel unseen
</li>
<li>
How insecurity shows up&mdash;in-laws, kids, friends, or &ldquo;ideals&rdquo;
</li>
<li>
Why your worth and purpose can&rsquo;t come from your spouse alone
</li>
<li>
Two powerful conversation starters to cultivate security and intimacy
</li>
<li>
A prayer for healing, unity, and renewed value in your marriage
</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Get my new book, <a href="https://triedandtruemarriagebook.com">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
&nbsp;

Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you?

What to Do When You Feel Unseen, Unloved &  Like a Low Priority in Your Marriage?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/c3b5e06c-511a-4bd9-9e8e-b408013adba1/transcript

Understanding how to offer meaningful support and help to those you love, especially during moments of grief or difficulty, is a skill worth learning. Let's explore the core question everyone should learn to ask: “Do you need a hug? Do you need help? Or do you need to be heard?”

After going through a painful time, I reflect on grief and the unique ways we process pain. Sometimes, the greatest support we can offer someone isn’t advice, but presence. Inspired by a coaching session with one of my clients, I learned three powerful questions that have shaped the way I communicate and the ways in which I offer help. You're going to love this one. 

The Money Question

When someone you love is hurting, pause and ask:


Do you need a hug?


Do you need help?


Do you need to be heard?

This question helps break down emotional barriers and lets your partner, friend, or family member know you’re there for them in the way they need, not just in the way you want to give.

Episode Highlights:


Hugs: Hugs are healing. There is power in a simple embrace that can build connection and foster safety, sometimes more than words ever could.


Help: Offering help is about respecting boundaries and waiting until your loved one is ready for advice. Ask before you jump in!


Heard: The art of listening – not just hearing – is crucial. Learn to ask clarifying questions and listen with empathy to deepen your bond.

A Practical Affirmation:
Here's a simple affirmation you can use: “I am emotionally aware enough to help my [spouse/friend/partner] in their time of need.” Small shifts in how we communicate can make a lasting difference.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Ep. 89: “7 Tips to Become a Better Listener”

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

Understanding how to offer meaningful support and help to those you love, especially during moments of grief or difficulty, is a skill worth learning. Let's explore the core question everyone should learn to ask: &ldquo;Do you need a hug? Do you need help? Or do you need to be heard?&rdquo;
After going through a painful time, I reflect on grief and the unique ways we process pain. Sometimes, the greatest support we can offer someone isn&rsquo;t advice, but presence. Inspired by a coaching session with one of my clients, I learned three powerful questions that have shaped the way I communicate and the ways in which I offer help. You're going to love this one.&nbsp;
The Money Question
When someone you love is hurting, pause and ask:
<ul>
<li>
Do you need a hug?
</li>
<li>
Do you need help?
</li>
<li>
Do you need to be heard?
</li>
</ul>
This question helps break down emotional barriers and lets your partner, friend, or family member know you&rsquo;re there for them in the way they need, not just in the way you want to give.
Episode Highlights:
<ul>
<li>
Hugs: Hugs are healing. There is power in a simple embrace that can build connection and foster safety, sometimes more than words ever could.
</li>
<li>
Help: Offering help is about respecting boundaries and waiting until your loved one is ready for advice. Ask before you jump in!
</li>
<li>
Heard: The art of listening &ndash; not just hearing &ndash; is crucial. Learn to ask clarifying questions and listen with empathy to deepen your bond.
</li>
</ul>
A Practical Affirmation: Here's a simple affirmation you can use: &ldquo;I am emotionally aware enough to help my [spouse/friend/partner] in their time of need.&rdquo; Small shifts in how we communicate can make a lasting difference.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
<a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/89-7-tips-to-become-a-better-listener-communication-101-series/">Ep. 89: &ldquo;7 Tips to Become a Better Listener&rdquo;</a>
<a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/">Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
&nbsp;

Understanding how to offer meaningful support and help to those you love, especially during moments of grief or difficulty, is a skill worth learning. Let's explore the core question everyone should learn to ask: “Do you need a hug? Do you need help? Or do you need to be heard?”

Do You Need Help, a Hug, or Just to Be Heard? 3 Questions Show Empathy and Care

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/2ab463e5-2a79-41b8-a0ae-b3ff01641dd7/transcript

The Truth About Toxic Masculinity & Rehumanizing Sex in Marriage

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