Have you let yourself go or perhaps lost yourself in your marriage? Today's episode will help you find yourself again. A listener struggles with finding the motivation to find herself again, having let herself go, and seeks advice on how to rediscover who she is in her marriage. This episode originally aired in Dec. 2024 and was one of our highest rated episodes that season.

Listen in for encouragement, practical steps, and a simple 4-week blueprint I share to help you reignite your spark and your sense of self-worth in and out of your relationship.

Learn more at https://danache.com. 

 

Have a relationship or marriage question for the show? 

Email or send a DM on Instagram. 

If you like the show, please give it a 5-star rating and write a review!

 

Have you let yourself go or perhaps lost yourself in your marriage? Today's episode will help you find yourself again. A listener struggles with finding the motivation to find herself again, having let herself go, and seeks advice on how to rediscover who she is in her marriage. This episode originally aired in Dec. 2024 and was one of our highest rated episodes that season.
Listen in for encouragement, practical steps, and a simple 4-week blueprint I share to help you reignite your spark and your sense of self-worth in and out of your relationship.
Learn more at <a href="https://danache.com">https://danache.com</a>.&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Have a relationship or marriage question for the show?&nbsp;
<a href="https://danache.com/contact">Email</a> or send a <a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">DM on Instagram</a>.&nbsp;
If you like the show, please give it a 5-star rating and write a review!
&nbsp;

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle? Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.

Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clichés—Dana’s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week. 

Whether you’re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself. 

Let the rebuild begin!  

**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle?&nbsp;Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.
Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clich&eacute;s&mdash;Dana&rsquo;s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week.&nbsp;
Whether you&rsquo;re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself.&nbsp;
Let the rebuild begin! &nbsp;
**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach & speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles. 

With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach &amp; speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles.&nbsp;
With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clich&eacute;s over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Have you let yourself go or perhaps lost yourself in your marriage? Today's episode will help you find yourself again. 

[Sweet Repeat] Q & A: I’ve Lost Myself in My Marriage

Do you feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Because many couples do not. Emotional connection in marriage isn't just a “nice to have,” but truly a foundational priority for every relationship. Drawing from chapter one of my newest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, I explore the original couple from the Bible, Adam and Eve, and what their story teaches us about shame, emotional safety, and intimacy.

I walk you through the real reason emotional disconnection happens—even in marriages that appear “just fine” on the outside. Sometimes it’s not a crisis or trauma, but a subtle emotional chasm that grows over time because of unaddressed issues like shame, self-protection, defensiveness, harsh communication, and even minimizing feelings. I share practical, actionable advice—five things to watch for that break down emotional safety, and five intentional ways you can rebuild trust, openness, and genuine intimacy with your spouse.

Key Takeaways:


Why emotional connectivity is a marriage requirement, not a bonus


The key differences between boundaries and emotional walls


How both men and women have a critical need for emotional safety (and why men may keep their guard up)


The “big five” behaviors that damage emotional safety—including harsh words, defensiveness, minimizing, unforgiveness, and judgment


Simple but powerful tips to rebuild emotional safety: listening well, asking thoughtful questions, affirming your spouse, and always focusing on your love


Straightforward actions you can take today—even without a marriage coach—to move your relationship from disconnected to deeply connected

If you’ve ever felt a disconnect in your marriage—even if everything looks good on the outside—this episode is for you. I’m sharing honest reflections, practical advice, and biblical wisdom to help you rebuild emotional safety, intimacy, and lasting connection with your spouse.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Learn more and pre-order my new book, Tried and True

How Your Attachment Style Affects Emotional Connection

Want to stay connected all week? Join my email community and get all the good on all things Dana Che.

Be sure to subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and pre-order Tried and True at danache.com/triedandtrue to learn even more ways to strengthen your marriage from the inside out!

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Do you feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Because many couples do not. Emotional connection in marriage isn't just a &ldquo;nice to have,&rdquo; but truly a foundational priority for every relationship. Drawing from chapter one of my newest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, I explore the original couple from the Bible, Adam and Eve, and what their story teaches us about shame, emotional safety, and intimacy.
I walk you through the real reason emotional disconnection happens&mdash;even in marriages that appear &ldquo;just fine&rdquo; on the outside. Sometimes it&rsquo;s not a crisis or trauma, but a subtle emotional chasm that grows over time because of unaddressed issues like shame, self-protection, defensiveness, harsh communication, and even minimizing feelings. I share practical, actionable advice&mdash;five things to watch for that break down emotional safety, and five intentional ways you can rebuild trust, openness, and genuine intimacy with your spouse.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>
Why emotional connectivity is a marriage requirement, not a bonus
</li>
<li>
The key differences between boundaries and emotional walls
</li>
<li>
How both men and women have a critical need for emotional safety (and why men may keep their guard up)
</li>
<li>
The &ldquo;big five&rdquo; behaviors that damage emotional safety&mdash;including harsh words, defensiveness, minimizing, unforgiveness, and judgment
</li>
<li>
Simple but powerful tips to rebuild emotional safety: listening well, asking thoughtful questions, affirming your spouse, and always focusing on your love
</li>
<li>
Straightforward actions you can take today&mdash;even without a marriage coach&mdash;to move your relationship from disconnected to deeply connected
</li>
</ul>
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt a disconnect in your marriage&mdash;even if everything looks good on the outside&mdash;this episode is for you. I&rsquo;m sharing honest reflections, practical advice, and biblical wisdom to help you rebuild emotional safety, intimacy, and lasting connection with your spouse.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
<a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue">Learn more and pre-order my new book, Tried and True</a>
<a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/368-building-emotional-intimacy-how-your-attachment-style-affects-your-connection-intimacy-series/">How Your Attachment Style Affects Emotional Connection</a>
Want to stay connected all week? <a href="https://danache.com/email-newsletter/">Join my email community </a>and get all the good on all things Dana Che.
Be sure to subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and pre-order Tried and True at danache.com/triedandtrue to learn even more ways to strengthen your marriage from the inside out!
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Do you feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Because many couples do not. Emotional connection in marriage isn't just a “nice to have,” but truly a foundational priority for every relationship.

Letting Your Guard Down: How to Rebuild Emotional Safety in Your Marriage (Tried and True)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/e4a9353c-7cd2-4c54-997d-b3d000fe4b2e/transcript

What do diamonds, pearls, and gold have in common? They must all endure pressure and irritants to produce what is precious. The truth is that in marriage and in life, we most often grow through our pain and our trials, not our successes. The pressure is meant to forge a greater purpose in you. When you trust the process, you realize it is producing in you something that far outweighs anything you can imagine.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like God has abandoned you or left you in your pain too long. It's also deeply encouraging for marriages and will help you to see beyond your problems and reframe your pain. 

If you’re feeling tension, loneliness, or just wondering why marriage has to be so hard, allow this episode to lift you. Learn how to trust the process God is working in your life and how to discover the greater purpose behind your pain. Plus, I share encouragement from Scripture, practical ways to shift your perspective, and why surrender is the key to breakthrough.

Key Takeaways: 
Pressure reveals our hidden potential.
Process is what helps us to learn how to trust what we can't always see 
Purpose makes it all worth it 

My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

What do diamonds, pearls, and gold have in common? They must all endure pressure and irritants to produce what is precious. The truth is that in marriage and in life, we most often grow through our pain and our trials, not our successes. The pressure is meant to forge a greater purpose in you. When you trust the process, you realize it is producing in you something that far outweighs anything you can imagine.
This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like God has abandoned you or left you in your pain too long. It's also deeply encouraging for marriages and will help you to see beyond your problems and reframe your pain.&nbsp;
If you&rsquo;re feeling tension, loneliness, or just wondering why marriage has to be so hard, allow this episode to lift you. Learn how to trust the process God is working in your life and how to discover the greater purpose behind your pain. Plus, I share encouragement from Scripture, practical ways to shift your perspective, and why surrender is the key to breakthrough.
Key Takeaways:&nbsp;
<ol>
<li data-pm-slice="1 1 []">Pressure reveals our hidden potential.</li>
<li data-pm-slice="1 1 []">Process is what helps us to learn how to trust what we can't always see&nbsp;</li>
<li data-pm-slice="1 1 []">Purpose makes it all worth it&nbsp;</li>
</ol>
My new book is set to release on January 15! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
&nbsp;

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like God has abandoned you or left you in your pain too long. It's also deeply encouraging for marriages.

How Pressure Produces What’s Precious in Your Life & Marriage (Tried and True)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/24a0acd1-8daa-4862-afbc-b3ca002601ed/transcript

From unmet expectations to trust issues and loneliness in marriage, this episode exposes eight conversations you're likely avoiding in your marriage and how it's causing the disconnection gap to widen. I open up with a personal story about my own struggles with fear and avoidance (including a wild trip to the urgent care!), and how these emotions often hold us back from tackling topics that really matter.

The Conversations You're Likely Avoiding in Your Marriage:


Unmet Expectations: Many couples never openly discuss what they thought marriage would look like—and how reality has shifted those expectations.


Resentment: Sometimes prayer isn’t enough if you’re still nursing bitterness, unforgiveness, or past hurts. You can’t heal what you refuse to acknowledge.


Boundaries: Every relationship needs boundaries—even healthy ones. Yet many avoid discussing what’s acceptable, what’s not, and where limits should be set.


Disappointments: Small disappointments can quietly unravel intimacy if left unspoken. Instead of confronting them, we let them fester.


Loneliness in Marriage: There’s no lonelier place than a disconnected marriage, but admitting this vulnerability is often avoided.


Trust Issues: Especially after betrayal or big mistakes, couples might choose not to re-visit trust conversations for fear of reopening wounds or “rocking the boat.”


Conversations About the Future: Many avoid talking about end-of-life issues, financial planning, retirement, and other future-focused topics.


Celebrating Wins: Sometimes, couples even avoid sharing their successes if there’s secret competition or fear of triggering jealousy.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Get my FREE Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict 

Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True Devotional in anticipation of my new book release!

Other helpful Rebuilding Us podcast episodes:

5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs

How to Approach Difficult Conversations with Confidence

When Marriage is Harder than You Ever Expected

From unmet expectations to trust issues and loneliness in marriage, this episode exposes eight conversations you're likely avoiding in your marriage and how it's causing the disconnection gap to widen. I open up with a personal story about my own struggles with fear and avoidance (including a wild trip to the urgent care!), and how these emotions often hold us back from tackling topics that really matter.
The Conversations You're Likely Avoiding in Your Marriage:
<ol data-pm-slice="3 3 []">
<li>
Unmet Expectations: Many couples never openly discuss what they thought marriage would look like&mdash;and how reality has shifted those expectations.
</li>
<li>
Resentment: Sometimes prayer isn&rsquo;t enough if you&rsquo;re still nursing bitterness, unforgiveness, or past hurts. You can&rsquo;t heal what you refuse to acknowledge.
</li>
<li>
Boundaries: Every relationship needs boundaries&mdash;even healthy ones. Yet many avoid discussing what&rsquo;s acceptable, what&rsquo;s not, and where limits should be set.
</li>
<li>
Disappointments: Small disappointments can quietly unravel intimacy if left unspoken. Instead of confronting them, we let them fester.
</li>
<li>
Loneliness in Marriage: There&rsquo;s no lonelier place than a disconnected marriage, but admitting this vulnerability is often avoided.
</li>
<li>
Trust Issues: Especially after betrayal or big mistakes, couples might choose not to re-visit trust conversations for fear of reopening wounds or &ldquo;rocking the boat.&rdquo;
</li>
<li>
Conversations About the Future: Many avoid talking about end-of-life issues, financial planning, retirement, and other future-focused topics.
</li>
<li>
Celebrating Wins: Sometimes, couples even avoid sharing their successes if there&rsquo;s secret competition or fear of triggering jealousy.
</li>
</ol>
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:&nbsp;
My new book is set to release on January 15! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Get my <a href="https://danache.com/conversationstarters">FREE Conversation Starters for Couples</a> in Conflict&nbsp;
<a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book">Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True Devotional </a>in anticipation of my new book release!
Other helpful Rebuilding Us podcast episodes:
<a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/49-5-boundaries-every-marriage-needs-young-married-series/">5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs</a>
<a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/356-how-to-approach-difficult-conversations-with-confidence-sweet-repeat/">How to Approach Difficult Conversations with Confidence</a>
<a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/384-when-marriage-is-harder-than-you-ever-expected-tried-and-true/">When Marriage is Harder than You Ever Expected</a>

From unmet expectations to trust issues and loneliness in marriage, this episode exposes eight conversations you're likely avoiding in your marriage and how it's causing the disconnection gap to widen.

8 Conversations You're Likely Avoiding in Your Marriage & How It's Widening the Distance (Tried and True)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/c8393b61-6e01-41c2-8f9a-b3c2017f27fb/transcript

[Sweet Repeat] Q & A: I’ve Lost Myself in My Marriage

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