Today's Q&A is from a listener who believes their marriage is at a breaking point and needs advice on how to tell their spouse they want a divorce. Knowing little about the fallout of this marriage, I first encourage every couple in this situation to re-evaluate your marriage. Oftentimes, your marriage is not as far gone as you may believe. The fact that one spouse is asking how to tell their spouse they want a divorce leads me to believe the divorce is not mutual. Listen as I share a perspective on this very important conversation. 

ALSO LISTEN TO: Ep. 245: 5 Boxes to Check Before You Divorce - with Dr. Kim Kimberling

Links Mentioned in this Episode:

🔗Get your FREE Conversation Starters for Communicating in Conflict Here.



**If you like the show, please leave a review! This helps other marriages and relationships grow too! **



Remember to  SUBSCRIBE to the Podcast!

Today's Q&amp;A is from a listener who believes their marriage is at a breaking point and needs advice on how to tell their spouse they want a divorce. Knowing little about the fallout of this marriage, I first encourage every couple in this situation to re-evaluate your marriage. Oftentimes, your marriage is not as far gone as you may believe. The fact that one spouse is asking how to tell their spouse they want a divorce leads me to believe the divorce is not mutual. Listen as I share a perspective on this very important conversation. 
ALSO LISTEN TO: <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rebuilding-us-marriage-podcast/id1528234628?i=1000657022013">Ep. 245: 5 Boxes to Check Before You Divorce - with Dr. Kim Kimberling</a>
Links Mentioned in this Episode:
<a href="https://danache.com/affairquiz" data-cke-saved-href="https://danache.com/affairquiz">🔗</a><a href="https://danache.com/conversationstarters" data-cke-saved-href="https://danache.com/conversationstarters">Get your FREE Conversation Starters for Communicating in Conflict Here.</a>
 
**If you like the show, please leave a review! This helps other marriages and relationships grow too! **
 
Remember to  SUBSCRIBE to the Podcast!

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle? Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.

Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clichés—Dana’s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week. 

Whether you’re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself. 

Let the rebuild begin!  

**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle?&nbsp;Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.
Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clich&eacute;s&mdash;Dana&rsquo;s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week.&nbsp;
Whether you&rsquo;re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself.&nbsp;
Let the rebuild begin! &nbsp;
**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach & speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles. 

With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach &amp; speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles.&nbsp;
With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clich&eacute;s over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Today's Q&A is from a listener who believes their marriage is at a breaking point and needs advice on how to tell their spouse they want a divorce.

Q & A: How Do I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?

It's a subject most of us would rather avoid—but sometimes, we have to face it head-on: separation in marriage. When might it be necessary, how do you do it with purpose, and why every rough patch isn't a reason to separate.

You’ll hear me break down the three main reasons I believe separation could be warranted—adultery, abuse, and addiction—and I’ll also share why things like boredom, apathy, or just feeling weary in your marriage are not strong enough reasons to walk away. I get real about my own story, including a time when Shaun and I tried in-home separation (spoiler alert: we did it all wrong!)

I also lay out the S.M.A.R.T goals framework—yes, the same one you hear about in business or personal development—as a step-by-step, purposeful plan to help you approach separation with clarity.

I also walk you through some practical conversations you need to have if you’re considering a separation: What about the kids? How should you handle finances? What’s the deal with sex or dating during a separation?

If you’re in a spot where you’re thinking about separating from your spouse, or maybe you know someone who is, this is the episode you need to hear.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Grab my free Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict. 

Pick up my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples. An excellent resource for marriages in the middle, with practical strategies to help you build a thriving marriage—even after separation.

Think your spouse might be unfaithful or in the stages of rebuilding after an affair? Download my free resource: From Heartbreak to Healing: A 12-Step Affair Recovery Checklist.

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

It's a subject most of us would rather avoid&mdash;but sometimes, we have to face it head-on: separation in marriage. When might it be necessary, how do you do it with purpose, and why every rough patch isn't a reason to separate.
You&rsquo;ll hear me break down the three main reasons I believe separation could be warranted&mdash;adultery, abuse, and addiction&mdash;and I&rsquo;ll also share why things like boredom, apathy, or just feeling weary in your marriage are not strong enough reasons to walk away. I get real about my own story, including a time when Shaun and I tried in-home separation (spoiler alert: we did it all wrong!)
I also lay out the S.M.A.R.T goals framework&mdash;yes, the same one you hear about in business or personal development&mdash;as a step-by-step, purposeful plan to help you approach separation with clarity.
I also walk you through some practical conversations you need to have if you&rsquo;re considering a separation: What about the kids? How should you handle finances? What&rsquo;s the deal with sex or dating during a separation?
If you&rsquo;re in a spot where you&rsquo;re thinking about separating from your spouse, or maybe you know someone who is, this is the episode you need to hear.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Grab my free <a href="https://danache.com/conversationstarters">Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict. </a>
Pick up my new book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples.</a>&nbsp;An excellent resource for marriages in the middle, with practical strategies to help you build a thriving marriage&mdash;even after separation.
Think your spouse might be unfaithful or in the stages of rebuilding after an affair? Download my free resource: <a href="https://danache.com/affairchecklist">From Heartbreak to Healing:&nbsp;A 12-Step Affair Recovery Checklist.</a>
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

It's a subject most of us would rather avoid—but sometimes, we have to face it head-on: separation in marriage. When might it be necessary, how do you do it with purpose, and why every rough patch isn't a reason to separate.

How to Do Separation in Marriage the S.M.A.R.T Way

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/6c724f8a-bddd-406f-9e14-b4550165ad77/transcript

Are you constantly tempted to go through your spouse's phone or emails? If your partner has been unfaithful—or if you’re struggling with distrust and paranoia after betrayal—this is very normal, but is it the best way to determine when to rebuild trust?

A listener wrote in asking this very question as she shared her struggle after infidelity. Even after her husband’s affair, she finds herself obsessively checking his phone, car, and emails, desperately searching for signs he’s being truthful. In this episode, I'm tackling why these behaviors can be re-traumatizing, how they keep you stuck in a cycle of mistrust, and what it really takes to break free.

Key Takeaways:


The difference between being truly concerned and just feeling paranoid


Why going through your spouse’s phone becomes an addiction after infidelity


How to stop the cycle of self-betrayal and reclaim your peace


The vital role of prayer and trusting God when you can’t trust your spouse


My proven formula for rebuilding trust: good behavior over time


Ways to give both yourself and your spouse grace during the healing process

If you find yourself wrestling with trust after an affair, or if you just can’t seem to move past the hurt, this episode will give you hope and tools to move forward. I’m also inviting you to write in your own marriage questions—your story matters and you’re not alone!

Have a question? Email me at info@danache.com, and I might answer it in an upcoming show!

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Learn more and get started with my Infidelity Intensive course.

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Are you constantly tempted to go through your spouse's phone or emails? If your partner has been unfaithful&mdash;or if you&rsquo;re struggling with distrust and paranoia after betrayal&mdash;this is very normal, but is it the best way to determine when to rebuild trust?
A listener wrote in asking this very question as she shared her struggle after infidelity. Even after her husband&rsquo;s affair, she finds herself obsessively checking his phone, car, and emails, desperately searching for signs he&rsquo;s being truthful. In this episode, I'm tackling why these behaviors can be re-traumatizing, how they keep you stuck in a cycle of mistrust, and what it really takes to break free.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>
The difference between being truly concerned and just feeling paranoid
</li>
<li>
Why going through your spouse&rsquo;s phone becomes an addiction after infidelity
</li>
<li>
How to stop the cycle of self-betrayal and reclaim your peace
</li>
<li>
The vital role of prayer and trusting God when you can&rsquo;t trust your spouse
</li>
<li>
My proven formula for rebuilding trust: good behavior over time
</li>
<li>
Ways to give both yourself and your spouse grace during the healing process
</li>
</ul>
If you find yourself wrestling with trust after an affair, or if you just can&rsquo;t seem to move past the hurt, this episode will give you hope and tools to move forward. I&rsquo;m also inviting you to write in your own marriage questions&mdash;your story matters and you&rsquo;re not alone!
Have a question? Email me at info@danache.com, and I might answer it in an upcoming show!
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:&nbsp;
Learn more and get started with my <a href="https://danache.com/infidelityintensive">Infidelity Intensive course</a>.
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Are you constantly tempted to go through your spouse's phone or emails? If your partner has been unfaithful—or if you’re struggling with distrust and paranoia after betrayal—this is very normal, but is it the best way to determine when to rebuild trust?

Is It Wrong to Go Through His Phone?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/7d1f5865-fa48-46a0-84ae-b44e01693765/transcript

Ever wonder why you keep having the same fights about money, the kids, or even just feeling ignored? My guest, marriage therapist and Christian wives coach Beatriz Vargas says there are five core questions behind every argument in marriage.

Borrowing from renowned attachment-theory expert Sue Johnson's model, these questions can transform even the most hopeless-feeling, disconnected relationships. Beatriz explains how knowing these questions beforehand is a game-changer, and she also shares her powerful personal story of walking through marital struggle, separation, and ultimately, restoration.

Beatriz and I break down how every marital conflict, big or small, boils down to one of five foundational questions every spouse is asking—often without even realizing it.

We’re talking:


Why feeling valued, needed, and cherished is non-negotiable for a healthy marriage


How to recognize and break free from the “roommate syndrome” so many couples fall into


The role of prayer and honest self-reflection when things seem hopeless


How over-spiritualizing can sometimes get us stuck—and what healthy vulnerability looks like instead


Practical ways to talk through arguments and change the narrative in your relationship

Whether you’re the wife who feels like she’s carrying it all, or the spouse worried that you’re growing further apart, this conversation is for you. Beatriz Vargas even shares exactly where you can download the five core questions to bring these breakthrough conversations to your own marriage.

If you’re ready for real talk with real hope for rebuilding trust, connection, and love—even when it feels impossible—press play now!

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:


Download the Five Core Questions for Every Marriage: thegracefueledwife.com/questions


Connect with Beatriz Vargas on all platforms at The Grace Fueled Wife
Get your copy of my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples! Available in e-book, paperback, and audiobook. 

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

Ever wonder why you keep having the same fights about money, the kids, or even just feeling ignored? My guest, marriage therapist and Christian wives coach Beatriz Vargas says there are five core questions behind every argument in marriage.
Borrowing from renowned attachment-theory expert Sue Johnson's model, these questions can transform even the most hopeless-feeling, disconnected relationships. Beatriz explains how knowing these questions beforehand is a game-changer, and she also shares her powerful personal story of walking through marital struggle, separation, and ultimately, restoration.
Beatriz and I break down how every marital conflict, big or small, boils down to one of five foundational questions every spouse is asking&mdash;often without even realizing it.
We&rsquo;re talking:
<ul>
<li>
Why feeling valued, needed, and cherished is non-negotiable for a healthy marriage
</li>
<li>
How to recognize and break free from the &ldquo;roommate syndrome&rdquo; so many couples fall into
</li>
<li>
The role of prayer and honest self-reflection when things seem hopeless
</li>
<li>
How over-spiritualizing can sometimes get us stuck&mdash;and what healthy vulnerability looks like instead
</li>
<li>
Practical ways to talk through arguments and change the narrative in your relationship
</li>
</ul>
Whether you&rsquo;re the wife who feels like she&rsquo;s carrying it all, or the spouse worried that you&rsquo;re growing further apart, this conversation is for you. Beatriz Vargas even shares exactly where you can download the five core questions to bring these breakthrough conversations to your own marriage.
If you&rsquo;re ready for real talk with real hope for rebuilding trust, connection, and love&mdash;even when it feels impossible&mdash;press play now!
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
<ul>
<li>
Download the Five Core Questions for Every Marriage: <a href="http://thegracefueledwife.com/questions">thegracefueledwife.com/questions</a>
</li>
<li>
Connect with Beatriz Vargas on all platforms at <a href="http://thegracefueledwife.com">The Grace Fueled Wife</a>
</li>
<li>Get your copy of my new book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>! Available in e-book, paperback, and audiobook.&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
&nbsp;

Ever wonder why you keep having the same fights about money, the kids, or even just feeling ignored? My guest, marriage therapist and Christian wives coach Beatriz Vargas says there are five core questions behind every argument in marriage.

Every Marital Argument Boils Down to these 5 Questions

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/715bfff8-652a-40ae-b757-b4470169e708/transcript

Q & A: How Do I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?

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