If you're married, can men and women really be just friends? It’s a question as old as time, sparking heated debates at dinner tables, in church lobbies, and—of course—in marriages. Today's episode is a sweet repeat,  where I sat down with my good friend and fellow marriage coach, Sylvia Chipman, to unpack this tricky territory: Can you maintain healthy, platonic friendships with the opposite sex after you’re married? Or is it just a slippery slope?

Sylvia and I get real and raw about our own experiences—some wins, some mistakes, and lots of lessons learned in hopes that you'll guard your marriages with intention.

Key Takeaways:
The emotional bonds that can form even if you’re not physically attracted to someone
Why setting healthy boundaries is crucial
How past wounds or histories of infidelity can shape your perspective on friendship with the opposite sex.
We also discuss “situationships,” the slow burn of emotional affairs, and how to spot (and avoid) potential pitfalls in your friendships.

You'll hear practical advice on communicating with your spouse about opposite-sex friends and how to get real with yourself so that you can be real with the true purpose of your friendships. 

Whether you believe it’s possible to have platonic friends in marriage or think it’s playing with fire, this episode will make you think twice about this important issue.

This episode originally aired on October 10, 2023.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Want to connect better with your spouse? Learn your "connection style" by taking my partner quiz here. 

Looking for a quick but strategic guide in connecting with your spouse? Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples. 

Connect with Sylvia and learn about her coaching here. 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

If you're married, can men and women really be just friends? It&rsquo;s a question as old as time, sparking heated debates at dinner tables, in church lobbies, and&mdash;of course&mdash;in marriages. Today's episode is a sweet repeat, &nbsp;where I sat down with my good friend and fellow marriage coach, Sylvia Chipman, to unpack this tricky territory: Can you maintain healthy, platonic friendships with the opposite sex after you&rsquo;re married? Or is it just a slippery slope?
Sylvia and I get real and raw about our own experiences&mdash;some wins, some mistakes, and lots of lessons learned in hopes that you'll guard your marriages with intention.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li data-pm-slice="1 1 []">The emotional bonds that can form even if you&rsquo;re not physically attracted to someone</li>
<li data-pm-slice="1 1 []">Why setting healthy boundaries is crucial</li>
<li data-pm-slice="1 1 []">How past wounds or histories of infidelity can shape your perspective on friendship with the opposite sex.</li>
<li data-pm-slice="1 1 []">We also discuss &ldquo;situationships,&rdquo; the slow burn of emotional affairs, and how to spot (and avoid) potential pitfalls in your friendships.</li>
</ul>
You'll hear practical advice on communicating with your spouse about opposite-sex friends&nbsp;and how to get real with yourself so that you can be real with the true purpose of your friendships.&nbsp;
Whether you believe it&rsquo;s possible to have platonic friends in marriage or think it&rsquo;s playing with fire, this episode will make you think twice about this important issue.
This episode originally aired on October 10, 2023.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Want to connect better with your spouse? Learn your "connection style" by<a href="https://danache.com/partnerquiz"> taking my partner quiz here.&nbsp;</a>
Looking for a quick but strategic guide in connecting with your spouse? Get my new book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples.&nbsp;</a>
Connect with Sylvia and learn about <a href="https://www.thrivemarriagecoaching.com">her coaching here.&nbsp;</a>
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
&nbsp;

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle? Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.

Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clichés—Dana’s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week. 

Whether you’re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself. 

Let the rebuild begin!  

**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle?&nbsp;Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.
Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clich&eacute;s&mdash;Dana&rsquo;s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week.&nbsp;
Whether you&rsquo;re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself.&nbsp;
Let the rebuild begin! &nbsp;
**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach & speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles. 

With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach &amp; speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles.&nbsp;
With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clich&eacute;s over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

If you're married, can men and women really be just friends? It’s a question as old as time, sparking heated debates at dinner tables, in church lobbies, and—of course—in marriages. 

More than Friends? Getting Real about Friends of the Opposite Sex While Married - Pt. 1

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/292090cc-9f0d-4bdf-96bc-b49401362f65/transcript

In part two of this conversation on opposite sex friendships in marriage, marriage coach Sylvia Chipman and I reflect on how emotional affairs rarely begin with the intention to betray a spouse. They often develop gradually through personal conversations, frequent communication, shared experiences, and the comforting feeling of being deeply understood. A person may genuinely believe, “We’re just friends,” while unintentionally building a level of closeness that belongs within the marriage.

This is why boundaries are crucial for protecting not only your marriage but also your other friendship.

Key Takeaways:
How to respond when your spouse expresses discomfort.
Is preserving the friendship worth damaging your partner’s peace or weakening trust in your marriage?
How humility tied the cords of trust and security in your marriage
How your history, vulnerabilities, and level of trust shape the boundaries your marriage needs
Specific boundaries you may want to employ in your relationships

This episode isn’t about living suspiciously or refusing to interact with the opposite sex. It’s about choosing wisdom. Healthy friendships require transparency, appropriate communication, and boundaries both spouses understand and respect. 

Ultimately, there may not be one rule that fits every couple.  The goal is not to prove that you can handle a friendship—it is to protect the intimacy, safety, and trust you are building with your spouse.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Think your relationship may be in danger of an affair? Take my confidential "Affair Quiz" here. 

Learn more about Sylvia's marriage coaching here. 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

In part two of this conversation on opposite sex friendships in marriage, marriage coach Sylvia Chipman and I reflect on how emotional affairs rarely begin with the intention to betray a spouse. They often develop gradually through personal conversations, frequent communication, shared experiences, and the comforting feeling of being deeply understood. A person may genuinely believe, &ldquo;We&rsquo;re just friends,&rdquo; while unintentionally building a level of closeness that belongs within the marriage.
This is why boundaries are crucial for protecting not only your marriage but also your other friendship.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li data-start="1386" data-end="1730">How to respond when your spouse expresses discomfort.</li>
<li data-start="1386" data-end="1730">Is preserving the friendship worth damaging your partner&rsquo;s peace or weakening trust in your marriage?</li>
<li data-start="1386" data-end="1730">How humility tied the cords of trust and security in your marriage</li>
<li data-start="1386" data-end="1730">How your history, vulnerabilities, and level of trust shape the boundaries your marriage needs</li>
<li data-start="1386" data-end="1730">Specific boundaries you may want to employ in your relationships</li>
</ul>
This episode isn&rsquo;t about living suspiciously or refusing to interact with the opposite sex. It&rsquo;s about choosing wisdom. Healthy friendships require transparency, appropriate communication, and boundaries both spouses understand and respect.&nbsp;
Ultimately, there may not be one rule that fits every couple. &nbsp;The goal is not to prove that you can handle a friendship&mdash;it is to protect the intimacy, safety, and trust you are building with your spouse.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Think your relationship may be in danger of an affair? <a href="https://danache.com/affairquiz">Take my confidential "Affair Quiz" here.&nbsp;</a>
Learn more about <a href="https://thrivemarriagecoaching.com">Sylvia's marriage coaching here.&nbsp;</a>
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

In part two of this conversation on opposite sex friendships in marriage, marriage coach Sylvia Chipman and I reflect on how emotional affairs rarely begin with the intention to betray a spouse.

How These Boundaries Protect Your Opposite-Sex Friendships While Married - Pt. 2

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/01417ef3-6c76-4b7c-9adb-b494013ce617/transcript

Infidelity is a word that can strike deep fear and pain into the heart of any married person. Many believe that affairs “just happen,” or that only people in miserable relationships are at risk. But as I share in today's episode, even couples with good marriages, strong commitments, and sincere love for one another can find themselves blindsided by the devastation of an affair.

Understanding how affairs happen—the real anatomy of an affair—is crucial to safeguarding your relationship.

I draw on both my own personal experiences and the biblical story of David and Bathsheba to help unpack the key stages of an affair and, more importantly, how they can be avoided. 

Whether you fear an affair is brewing, are teetering on the edge yourself, or want to help protect friends and loved ones, this episode can serve as a wake-up call and a guide toward a safer, more genuine marriage. 

Key Takeaways from This Episode


Temptation Isn’t Sin:  Being tempted is not a sin. We all experience temptation, but what we do next makes all the difference.


David & Bathsheba’s Story: Using the biblical account as a backdrop, learn the steps that lead to an affair.


Practical Advice: Boredom and idle time can open doors to temptation. Learn what to do to curb your vulnerabilities. 


There’s Always a Way Out: The episode dives into 1 Corinthians 10, reassuring you that God will always provide a way of escape when we are tempted.


No Affair Is Worth the Cost: No good thing comes from an affair, and the path of rebuilding, though tough, can absolutely be worth it.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Is your relationship at risk for an affair? Take my free 2-minute quiz:
👉 danache.com/affairquiz

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples—with a dedicated chapter on infidelity and so much more.
Get your copy here!

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Infidelity is a word that can strike deep fear and pain into the heart of any married person. Many believe that affairs &ldquo;just happen,&rdquo; or that only people in miserable relationships are at risk. But as I share in today's episode, even couples with good marriages, strong commitments, and sincere love for one another can find themselves blindsided by the devastation of an affair.
Understanding how affairs happen&mdash;the real anatomy of an affair&mdash;is crucial to safeguarding your relationship.
I draw on both my own personal experiences and the biblical story of David and Bathsheba to help unpack the key stages of an affair and, more importantly, how they can be avoided.&nbsp;
Whether you fear an affair is brewing, are teetering on the edge yourself, or want to help protect friends and loved ones, this episode can serve as a wake-up call and a guide toward a safer, more genuine marriage.&nbsp;
Key Takeaways from This Episode
<ul>
<li>
Temptation Isn&rsquo;t Sin:&nbsp; Being tempted is not a sin. We all experience temptation, but what we do next makes all the difference.
</li>
<li>
David &amp; Bathsheba&rsquo;s Story: Using the biblical account as a backdrop, learn the steps that lead to an affair.
</li>
<li>
Practical Advice: Boredom and idle time can open doors to temptation. Learn what to do to curb your vulnerabilities.&nbsp;
</li>
<li>
There&rsquo;s Always a Way Out: The episode dives into 1 Corinthians 10, reassuring you that God will always provide a way of escape when we are tempted.
</li>
<li>
No Affair Is Worth the Cost: No good thing comes from an affair, and the path of rebuilding, though tough, can absolutely be worth it.
</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Is your relationship at risk for an affair? Take my free 2-minute quiz: 👉 <a href="https://danache.com/affairquiz">danache.com/affairquiz</a>
Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples&mdash;with a dedicated chapter on infidelity and so much more. <a href="https://triedandtruemarriagebook.com/">Get your copy here!</a>
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Infidelity is a word that can strike deep fear and pain into the heart of any married person. Many believe that affairs “just happen,” or that only people in miserable relationships are at risk.  But that's not so.

The Anatomy of an Affair

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/672f9713-03ed-4380-8d5d-b48d016bf66c/transcript

Are you ready to transform conflict in your marriage and cultivate a deeper partnership? I sat down with special guest David Haastrup, host of the Reconnected Marriage Partners Podcast, for his take on increasing emotional awareness/regulation and the CALM method for handling conflict. 

We both share honest stories from our own marriages, including how our different upbringings shaped our expectations and how teamwork and partnership are essential for Christian couples. David dives into practical strategies for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and what it really means to “catch the moment” before things get heated.

We also explore why the early years of marriage can be so challenging and how his book, “A Couple’s First 10 Years,” can help you thrive when life throws curveballs—like cross-country moves, health crises, and raising young kids.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same old conflict cycle, or want to uncover what’s really beneath surface-level arguments, you don’t want to miss this conversation.

Key Takeaways: A CALM Approach to Conflict

Conflict is inevitable, but chaos doesn’t have to be. David introduced his practical CALM Method for handling disagreements with empathy and intention:


Catch the moment – Develop self-awareness to recognize turning points in a conflict.


Allow the pause – Take a breather before responding to diffuse tension.


Lower the intensity – Use gentle words and reframe your approach to prevent escalation.


Move toward understanding – Focus on truly hearing your partner, not just winning the argument.

This episode is full of actionable advice and personal stories about how this framework makes a difference, even when emotions run high and the household clashes (like those endless debates over the dishes!), plus more tips on emotional regulation.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Struggling in your early years of marriage or want to support friends who are? David's new book, A Couple’s First 10 Years, might be just the read you need.

Also, check out his free online webinar: “How to Stop the Argument Before It Starts" and the Reconnected Marriages Partners Podcast here.

Get my Heart-to-Heart Conversation Starters—three simple prompts to help you start difficult conversations with clarity and empathy.
Grab your copy here!

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Are you ready to transform conflict in your marriage and cultivate a deeper partnership? I sat down with special guest David Haastrup, host of the Reconnected Marriage Partners Podcast, for his take on increasing emotional awareness/regulation and the CALM method for handling conflict.&nbsp;
We both share honest stories from our own marriages, including how our different upbringings shaped our expectations and how teamwork and partnership are essential for Christian couples. David dives into practical strategies for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and what it really means to &ldquo;catch the moment&rdquo; before things get heated.
We also explore why the early years of marriage can be so challenging and how his book, &ldquo;A Couple&rsquo;s First 10 Years,&rdquo; can help you thrive when life throws curveballs&mdash;like cross-country moves, health crises, and raising young kids.
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt stuck in the same old conflict cycle, or want to uncover what&rsquo;s really beneath surface-level arguments, you don&rsquo;t want to miss this conversation.
Key Takeaways: A CALM Approach to Conflict
Conflict is inevitable, but chaos doesn&rsquo;t have to be. David introduced his practical CALM Method for handling disagreements with empathy and intention:
<ul>
<li>
Catch the moment &ndash; Develop self-awareness to recognize turning points in a conflict.
</li>
<li>
Allow the pause &ndash; Take a breather before responding to diffuse tension.
</li>
<li>
Lower the intensity &ndash; Use gentle words and reframe your approach to prevent escalation.
</li>
<li>
Move toward understanding &ndash; Focus on truly hearing your partner, not just winning the argument.
</li>
</ul>
This episode is full of actionable advice and personal stories about how this framework makes a difference, even when emotions run high and the household clashes (like those endless debates over the dishes!), plus more tips on emotional regulation.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:&nbsp;
Struggling in your early years of marriage or want to support friends who are? David's new book,&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/3Rv4TF7">A Couple&rsquo;s First 10 Years</a>, might be just the read you need.
Also, check out his free online webinar: &ldquo;How to Stop the Argument Before It Starts" and the <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reconnected-marriage-partners-communicate-effectively/id1626678838">Reconnected Marriages Partners Podcast here.</a>
Get my Heart-to-Heart Conversation Starters&mdash;three simple prompts to help you start difficult conversations with clarity and empathy. <a href="https://danache.com/conversationstarters">Grab your copy here!</a>
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
<hr>

Are you ready to transform conflict in your marriage and cultivate a deeper partnership? I sat down with special guest David Haastrup, host of the Reconnected Marriage Partners Podcast, for his take on increasing emotional awareness/regulation and the CALM method for handling conflict. 

Increase Your Emotional Awareness + the CALM Approach to Conflict 

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/c8e903c5-c16b-4d8b-b54b-b487005f085e/transcript

More than Friends? Getting Real about Friends of the Opposite Sex While Married - Pt. 1

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