Are you constantly tempted to go through your spouse's phone or emails? If your partner has been unfaithful—or if you’re struggling with distrust and paranoia after betrayal—this is very normal, but is it the best way to determine when to rebuild trust?

A listener wrote in asking this very question as she shared her struggle after infidelity. Even after her husband’s affair, she finds herself obsessively checking his phone, car, and emails, desperately searching for signs he’s being truthful. In this episode, I'm tackling why these behaviors can be re-traumatizing, how they keep you stuck in a cycle of mistrust, and what it really takes to break free.

Key Takeaways:


The difference between being truly concerned and just feeling paranoid


Why going through your spouse’s phone becomes an addiction after infidelity


How to stop the cycle of self-betrayal and reclaim your peace


The vital role of prayer and trusting God when you can’t trust your spouse


My proven formula for rebuilding trust: good behavior over time


Ways to give both yourself and your spouse grace during the healing process

If you find yourself wrestling with trust after an affair, or if you just can’t seem to move past the hurt, this episode will give you hope and tools to move forward. I’m also inviting you to write in your own marriage questions—your story matters and you’re not alone!

Have a question? Email me at info@danache.com, and I might answer it in an upcoming show!

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Learn more and get started with my Infidelity Intensive course.

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Are you constantly tempted to go through your spouse's phone or emails? If your partner has been unfaithful&mdash;or if you&rsquo;re struggling with distrust and paranoia after betrayal&mdash;this is very normal, but is it the best way to determine when to rebuild trust?
A listener wrote in asking this very question as she shared her struggle after infidelity. Even after her husband&rsquo;s affair, she finds herself obsessively checking his phone, car, and emails, desperately searching for signs he&rsquo;s being truthful. In this episode, I'm tackling why these behaviors can be re-traumatizing, how they keep you stuck in a cycle of mistrust, and what it really takes to break free.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>
The difference between being truly concerned and just feeling paranoid
</li>
<li>
Why going through your spouse&rsquo;s phone becomes an addiction after infidelity
</li>
<li>
How to stop the cycle of self-betrayal and reclaim your peace
</li>
<li>
The vital role of prayer and trusting God when you can&rsquo;t trust your spouse
</li>
<li>
My proven formula for rebuilding trust: good behavior over time
</li>
<li>
Ways to give both yourself and your spouse grace during the healing process
</li>
</ul>
If you find yourself wrestling with trust after an affair, or if you just can&rsquo;t seem to move past the hurt, this episode will give you hope and tools to move forward. I&rsquo;m also inviting you to write in your own marriage questions&mdash;your story matters and you&rsquo;re not alone!
Have a question? Email me at info@danache.com, and I might answer it in an upcoming show!
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:&nbsp;
Learn more and get started with my <a href="https://danache.com/infidelityintensive">Infidelity Intensive course</a>.
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle? Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.

Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clichés—Dana’s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week. 

Whether you’re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself. 

Let the rebuild begin!  

**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle?&nbsp;Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.
Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clich&eacute;s&mdash;Dana&rsquo;s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week.&nbsp;
Whether you&rsquo;re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself.&nbsp;
Let the rebuild begin! &nbsp;
**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach & speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles. 

With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach &amp; speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles.&nbsp;
With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clich&eacute;s over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Are you constantly tempted to go through your spouse's phone or emails? If your partner has been unfaithful—or if you’re struggling with distrust and paranoia after betrayal—this is very normal, but is it the best way to determine when to rebuild trust?

Is It Wrong to Go Through His Phone?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/7d1f5865-fa48-46a0-84ae-b44e01693765/transcript

Ever wonder why you keep having the same fights about money, the kids, or even just feeling ignored? My guest, marriage therapist and Christian wives coach Beatriz Vargas says there are five core questions behind every argument in marriage.

Borrowing from renowned attachment-theory expert Sue Johnson's model, these questions can transform even the most hopeless-feeling, disconnected relationships. Beatriz explains how knowing these questions beforehand is a game-changer, and she also shares her powerful personal story of walking through marital struggle, separation, and ultimately, restoration.

Beatriz and I break down how every marital conflict, big or small, boils down to one of five foundational questions every spouse is asking—often without even realizing it.

We’re talking:


Why feeling valued, needed, and cherished is non-negotiable for a healthy marriage


How to recognize and break free from the “roommate syndrome” so many couples fall into


The role of prayer and honest self-reflection when things seem hopeless


How over-spiritualizing can sometimes get us stuck—and what healthy vulnerability looks like instead


Practical ways to talk through arguments and change the narrative in your relationship

Whether you’re the wife who feels like she’s carrying it all, or the spouse worried that you’re growing further apart, this conversation is for you. Beatriz Vargas even shares exactly where you can download the five core questions to bring these breakthrough conversations to your own marriage.

If you’re ready for real talk with real hope for rebuilding trust, connection, and love—even when it feels impossible—press play now!

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:


Download the Five Core Questions for Every Marriage: thegracefueledwife.com/questions


Connect with Beatriz Vargas on all platforms at The Grace Fueled Wife
Get your copy of my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples! Available in e-book, paperback, and audiobook. 

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

Ever wonder why you keep having the same fights about money, the kids, or even just feeling ignored? My guest, marriage therapist and Christian wives coach Beatriz Vargas says there are five core questions behind every argument in marriage.
Borrowing from renowned attachment-theory expert Sue Johnson's model, these questions can transform even the most hopeless-feeling, disconnected relationships. Beatriz explains how knowing these questions beforehand is a game-changer, and she also shares her powerful personal story of walking through marital struggle, separation, and ultimately, restoration.
Beatriz and I break down how every marital conflict, big or small, boils down to one of five foundational questions every spouse is asking&mdash;often without even realizing it.
We&rsquo;re talking:
<ul>
<li>
Why feeling valued, needed, and cherished is non-negotiable for a healthy marriage
</li>
<li>
How to recognize and break free from the &ldquo;roommate syndrome&rdquo; so many couples fall into
</li>
<li>
The role of prayer and honest self-reflection when things seem hopeless
</li>
<li>
How over-spiritualizing can sometimes get us stuck&mdash;and what healthy vulnerability looks like instead
</li>
<li>
Practical ways to talk through arguments and change the narrative in your relationship
</li>
</ul>
Whether you&rsquo;re the wife who feels like she&rsquo;s carrying it all, or the spouse worried that you&rsquo;re growing further apart, this conversation is for you. Beatriz Vargas even shares exactly where you can download the five core questions to bring these breakthrough conversations to your own marriage.
If you&rsquo;re ready for real talk with real hope for rebuilding trust, connection, and love&mdash;even when it feels impossible&mdash;press play now!
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
<ul>
<li>
Download the Five Core Questions for Every Marriage: <a href="http://thegracefueledwife.com/questions">thegracefueledwife.com/questions</a>
</li>
<li>
Connect with Beatriz Vargas on all platforms at <a href="http://thegracefueledwife.com">The Grace Fueled Wife</a>
</li>
<li>Get your copy of my new book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book/">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>! Available in e-book, paperback, and audiobook.&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
&nbsp;

Ever wonder why you keep having the same fights about money, the kids, or even just feeling ignored? My guest, marriage therapist and Christian wives coach Beatriz Vargas says there are five core questions behind every argument in marriage.

Every Marital Argument Boils Down to these 5 Questions

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/715bfff8-652a-40ae-b757-b4470169e708/transcript

Author, speaker, and multi-generational mentor Rhonda Stoppe joins the show to discuss the challenges and joys of motherhood and share some practical lessons from her latest book about imperfect moms of the Bible. We also discuss some of our own mom struggles in hopes of encouraging you on your mothering journey. If you've ever wondered, “Am I doing this mom thing right? Is just being a mom truly enough?”—then this conversation is for you.

We unpack Rhonda’s new book, Moms of the Bible: Life-Changing Lessons from Fearless, Flawed, and Faithful Mothers in Scripture. Together, we get real about embracing motherhood as a calling rather than just a role. Rhonda shares practical wisdom on breaking generational cycles, overcoming mom guilt, and finding your identity in Christ—so you can raise your children with intention and faith without losing yourself in the process.

Listen in as we talk about:


How to break free from generational patterns and embrace a no-regrets approach to motherhood


Redefining ministry, purpose, and presence within your home


The tension between pursuing your individual calling and prioritizing your family


Modeling forgiveness, spiritual growth, and resilience for your kids—even when you've come from hurt or dysfunction


Giving each of your children love and attention (even the “difficult” ones!) and learning from examples like Rebekah, Mary, and other moms in the Bible


The unique beauty—and urgency—of grandparenting and building a spiritual legacy

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, working mom, or somewhere in between, this episode will encourage you to step confidently into your mission field right at home. So lean in, and let’s rebuild us—one intentional relationship at a time. 

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Get Rhonda's book: Imperfect Moms of the Bible

Listen to Rhonda's podcast: Old Ladies Know Stuff

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Author, speaker, and multi-generational mentor Rhonda Stoppe joins the show to discuss the challenges and joys of motherhood and share some practical lessons from her latest book about imperfect moms of the Bible. We also discuss some of our own mom struggles in hopes of encouraging you on your mothering journey. If you've ever wondered, &ldquo;Am I doing this mom thing right? Is just being a mom truly enough?&rdquo;&mdash;then this conversation is for you.
We unpack Rhonda&rsquo;s new book, Moms of the Bible: Life-Changing Lessons from Fearless, Flawed, and Faithful Mothers in Scripture. Together, we get real about embracing motherhood as a calling rather than just a role. Rhonda shares practical wisdom on breaking generational cycles, overcoming mom guilt, and finding your identity in Christ&mdash;so you can raise your children with intention and faith without losing yourself in the process.
Listen in as we talk about:
<ul>
<li>
How to break free from generational patterns and embrace a no-regrets approach to motherhood
</li>
<li>
Redefining ministry, purpose, and presence within your home
</li>
<li>
The tension between pursuing your individual calling and prioritizing your family
</li>
<li>
Modeling forgiveness, spiritual growth, and resilience for your kids&mdash;even when you've come from hurt or dysfunction
</li>
<li>
Giving each of your children love and attention (even the &ldquo;difficult&rdquo; ones!) and learning from examples like Rebekah, Mary, and other moms in the Bible
</li>
<li>
The unique beauty&mdash;and urgency&mdash;of grandparenting and building a spiritual legacy
</li>
</ul>
Whether you&rsquo;re a stay-at-home mom, working mom, or somewhere in between, this episode will encourage you to step confidently into your mission field right at home. So lean in, and let&rsquo;s rebuild us&mdash;one intentional relationship at a time.&nbsp;
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:&nbsp;
<a href="https://amzn.to/4tUUtfE">Get Rhonda's book: Imperfect Moms of the Bible</a>
<a href="https://www.rhondastoppe.com/old-ladies-know-stuff-podcast/">Listen to Rhonda's podcast: Old Ladies Know Stuff</a>
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Author, speaker, and multi-generational mentor Rhonda Stoppe joins the show to discuss the challenges and joys of motherhood and share some practical lessons from imperfect moms of the Bible

Confessions of Imperfect Moms

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/be91187c-1d8f-4e23-9839-b42f01678f72/transcript

Have you heard of the term “unequally yoked” in relationships and marriage? So many of you have reached out asking, “Is it okay for a Christian to date or marry a non-Christian?” I’m breaking down exactly what the Bible says about being unequally yoked, and sharing real talk about how this applies to dating, marriage, and even business partnerships.

I talk about why God’s commands aren’t about restricting us, but are there for our protection and blessing. If you’re already in a "mixed" marriage, I walk you through practical, biblical encouragement on how to live out your faith and how your actions—not just your words—can influence your spouse.

You’ll also hear:


The true definition of “unequally yoked” and why it matters for Christian singles and couples


What to do if you’re a believer married to a non-believer


Biblical advice on “missionary dating” and why it’s rarely a good idea


How to use spiritual discernment (and even your common sense!) when making relationship choices


My personal story of how my husband Shaun and I navigated differences in our spiritual walk


Encouragement for the spouse who feels alone in their faith journey

Whether you’re single, dating, married, or walking alongside a loved one in this situation, this episode will help you understand the importance of honoring God with your choices and trusting Him with your relationships.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Get the newly released audiobook for Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples!

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Have you heard of the term &ldquo;unequally yoked&rdquo; in relationships and marriage? So many of you have reached out asking, &ldquo;Is it okay for a Christian to date or marry a non-Christian?&rdquo; I&rsquo;m breaking down exactly what the Bible says about being unequally yoked, and sharing real talk about how this applies to dating, marriage, and even business partnerships.
I talk about why God&rsquo;s commands aren&rsquo;t about restricting us, but are there for our protection and blessing. If you&rsquo;re already in a "mixed" marriage, I walk you through practical, biblical encouragement on how to live out your faith and how your actions&mdash;not just your words&mdash;can influence your spouse.
You&rsquo;ll also hear:
<ul>
<li>
The true definition of &ldquo;unequally yoked&rdquo; and why it matters for Christian singles and couples
</li>
<li>
What to do if you&rsquo;re a believer married to a non-believer
</li>
<li>
Biblical advice on &ldquo;missionary dating&rdquo; and why it&rsquo;s rarely a good idea
</li>
<li>
How to use spiritual discernment (and even your common sense!) when making relationship choices
</li>
<li>
My personal story of how my husband Shaun and I navigated differences in our spiritual walk
</li>
<li>
Encouragement for the spouse who feels alone in their faith journey
</li>
</ul>
Whether you&rsquo;re single, dating, married, or walking alongside a loved one in this situation, this episode will help you understand the importance of honoring God with your choices and trusting Him with your relationships.
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Get the newly released audiobook for <a href="https://amzn.to/45mPwm1">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>!
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Have you heard of the term “unequally yoked” in relationships and marriage? So many of you have reached out asking, “Is it okay for a Christian to date or marry a non-Christian?”

What If We're 'Unequally Yoked' as a Couple?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/d0d4672c-0fce-46fa-8f7f-b43a001d47d1/transcript

Is It Wrong to Go Through His Phone?

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