As a marriage coach, I know firsthand how unspoken and unrealistic expectations can quietly sabotage even the strongest marriages. In this episode, I'm sharing practical strategies to help you define, communicate, and realign your expectations so you and your spouse can avoid unnecessary disappointment and disconnection.

We'll talk about the five most common unrealistic expectations couples face, including the beliefs that our spouse should never change, should make us happy, or should simply know what we're thinking. I share some of my own personal stories—like how my expectation for Shaun to be the spiritual leader in our home led to unnecessary disappointment and what I learned about the roots of where that specific expectation came from.

You’ll learn how to:


Get curious together instead of assuming your way is the only way


Stay flexible and open to growth as both you and your spouse change


Collaborate and celebrate your unique strengths as a couple


Let go of the pressure to change each other


Develop a gratitude mindset for a more joyful marriage

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Get your copy of my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

Related episodes: 
Ep. 126 - How to Create a Marriage Vision
Ep. 304 - 4 Expectations Every Marriage Should Have

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

As a marriage coach, I know firsthand how unspoken and unrealistic expectations can quietly sabotage even the strongest marriages. In this episode, I'm sharing practical strategies to help you define, communicate, and realign your expectations so you and your spouse can avoid unnecessary disappointment and disconnection.
We'll talk about the five most common unrealistic expectations couples face, including the beliefs that our spouse should never change, should make us happy, or should simply know what we're thinking. I share some of my own personal stories&mdash;like how my expectation for Shaun to be the spiritual leader in our home led to unnecessary disappointment and what I learned about the roots of where that specific expectation came from.
You&rsquo;ll learn how to:
<ul>
<li>
Get curious together instead of assuming your way is the only way
</li>
<li>
Stay flexible and open to growth as both you and your spouse change
</li>
<li>
Collaborate and celebrate your unique strengths as a couple
</li>
<li>
Let go of the pressure to change each other
</li>
<li>
Develop a gratitude mindset for a more joyful marriage
</li>
</ul>
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Get your copy of my new book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>
Related episodes:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li><a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/126-how-to-create-a-vision-for-your-marriage-my-step-by-step-process/">Ep. 126 - How to Create a Marriage Vision</a></li>
<li><a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/304-4-expectations-every-marriage-should-have/">Ep. 304 - 4 Expectations Every Marriage Should Have</a></li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle? Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.

Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clichés—Dana’s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week. 

Whether you’re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself. 

Let the rebuild begin!  

**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Ever wish there was an "easy" button for marriage? Or that you just had someone who understands the struggle?&nbsp;Rebuilding Us is a top-rated marriage podcast to help you restore intimacy, rebuild trust, and renew hope in your marriage. Join marriage coach Dana Che, who's been married to her hubby, Shaun, for 25 years as she guides couples on the journey toward restoration and connection.
Each episode includes real-life stories, practical strategies, and faith-filled insights to help you reignite love, deepen commitment, and create a thriving, joy-filled relationship. Say goodbye to Christian clich&eacute;s&mdash;Dana&rsquo;s relatable, no-nonsense approach (with a touch of humor!) will keep you coming back week after week.&nbsp;
Whether you&rsquo;re healing from infidelity, seeking stronger communication, or simply longing for a closer bond, this podcast equips you with the tools and encouragement to rebuild not just your relationship but yourself.&nbsp;
Let the rebuild begin! &nbsp;
**New episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. Subscribe now and take the first step toward your best marriage yet.
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

Get the blueprint to improve your marriage and overcome hurt, rediscover intimacy, and deepen your connection. Communication problems got you down? "Rebuilding Us" gives you the valuable tools and encouragement to restore trust, learn from conflict, and navigate the ups and downs of marriage with grace and resilience.

Rebuilding Us: Marriage Podcast

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach & speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles. 

With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clichés over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.

The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.

New episodes drop every Tuesday & Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!

My new book is out! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold! 

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

A marriage podcast to help couples rebuild trust and rediscover genuine intimacy in their marriages. Sharing lessons from her 25-year marriage, marriage coach &amp; speaker Dana Che will help you heal your past and find hope for your future as you glean effective marriage advice and tools from Dana Che and her guests. These episodic adventures will take you on a transformative journey to a happier and healthier marriage, through faith-based principles.&nbsp;
With relevant relationship strategies, heartfelt stories, and uplifting messages of hope, aimed at inspiring marriages with lasting joy, intimacy, and fulfillment. No Christian clich&eacute;s over here! Dana's tell-it-like-it-is yet warm humor will endear you to come back every single week.
The first letter in "us" is "u," so "rebuilding us" is also about rebuilding u (you). Whether you're seeking reconciliation, restoration, or simply looking for marriage enrichment, 'Rebuilding Us' will help guide your way.
New episodes drop every Tuesday &amp; Friday. Subscribe today so you don't miss a single one!
My new book is out! Get <a href="https://danache.com/triedandtrue" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://danache.com/triedandtrue&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1767879070424000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Lc8E5zya32sng_mUFZb4t">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>&nbsp;wherever books are sold!&nbsp;
Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure&mdash;disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing&mdash;and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

As a marriage coach, I know firsthand how unspoken and unrealistic expectations can quietly sabotage even the strongest marriages. In this episode, I'm sharing practical strategies to help you define, communicate, and realign your expectations so you and your spouse can avoid unnecessary disappointment and disconnection.

Could These 5 Unspoken Expectations Be Hurting Your Marriage?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/a7c950ad-4b72-4364-9393-b41b01897b4d/transcript

Before you get married, there are several important conversations you need to have. In this episode, I'm sharing 12 emotionally healthy questions every couple should ask before getting married. Whether you’re single, engaged, or already married and just want to build deeper intimacy with your spouse, these conversation starters will help you avoid pitfalls and create a lasting connection in your relationship.

Many people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations and without the preparation they truly need. That's why I'm walking you through twelve powerful questions designed to spark vulnerable conversations—including how to make your partner feel heard, set appropriate boundaries with friends, handle conflict, address emotional wounds, and discover your emotional health meters.

You’ll discover:


The essential questions to identify what makes you (and your partner) feel loved, valued, and understood


How to recognize and talk about emotionally unsafe behaviors that can sabotage connection


The importance of knowing how you and your partner respond to hurt, stress, and burnout—and why you need to see each other at your worst as well as your best before tying the knot


Strategies for reconnecting after conflict and not taking each other for granted


Why sharing your dreams, emotional needs, and even moments of sadness can set the stage for greater intimacy and emotional health

I also dive into how friendship dynamics must shift when you get married (yes, even those platonic besties!) and I break down why recognizing your own patterns—and understanding your partner’s—is the foundation for a healthy relationship.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Download my free audio guide, 7 Secret Marriage Rules to Know Before I Do and After I Did
Grab your copy of my brand new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples.

If you’re engaged, thinking about marriage, or want to refresh and deepen your connection, these 12 questions will transform the way you communicate and understand each other.

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Before you get married, there are several important conversations you need to have. In this episode, I'm sharing 12 emotionally healthy questions every couple should ask before getting married. Whether you&rsquo;re single, engaged, or already married and just want to build deeper intimacy with your spouse, these conversation starters will help you avoid pitfalls and create a lasting connection in your relationship.
Many people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations and without the preparation they truly need. That's why I'm walking you through twelve powerful questions designed to spark vulnerable conversations&mdash;including how to make your partner feel heard, set appropriate boundaries with friends, handle conflict, address emotional wounds, and discover your emotional health meters.
You&rsquo;ll discover:
<ul>
<li>
The essential questions to identify what makes you (and your partner) feel loved, valued, and understood
</li>
<li>
How to recognize and talk about emotionally unsafe behaviors that can sabotage connection
</li>
<li>
The importance of knowing how you and your partner respond to hurt, stress, and burnout&mdash;and why you need to see each other at your worst as well as your best before tying the knot
</li>
<li>
Strategies for reconnecting after conflict and not taking each other for granted
</li>
<li>
Why sharing your dreams, emotional needs, and even moments of sadness can set the stage for greater intimacy and emotional health
</li>
</ul>
I also dive into how friendship dynamics must shift when you get married (yes, even those platonic besties!) and I break down why recognizing your own patterns&mdash;and understanding your partner&rsquo;s&mdash;is the foundation for a healthy relationship.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
<ul>
<li>Download my free audio guide,&nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/7secrets">7 Secret Marriage Rules to Know Before I Do and After I Did</a></li>
<li>Grab your copy of my brand new book, <a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples.</a></li>
</ul>
If you&rsquo;re engaged, thinking about marriage, or want to refresh and deepen your connection, these 12 questions will transform the way you communicate and understand each other.
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;

Before you get married, there are several important conversations you need to have. In this episode, I'm sharing 12 emotionally healthy questions every couple should ask before getting married. 

12 Emotionally Healthy Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/f4025932-b380-45d2-bbb0-b41700275595/transcript

We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves—marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work?

In this episode, I break down five reasons your marriage might feel difficult right now, and more importantly, how to fix it. Even good couples go through seasons of tension, frustration, and emotional distance but understanding the root causes of your marriage problems can change everything.

I talk about how communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, unresolved hurt, and emotional disconnection can slowly impact the health of your relationship.

If you want to strengthen your marriage, improve communication, and rebuild intimacy, this episode will help you see what might be happening and where to start.

This episode is especially helpful if you are:


Struggling with conflict in your marriage


Feeling emotionally disconnected from your spouse


Trying to rebuild trust after relationship challenges


Looking for faith-based encouragement for your marriage

Marriage can be hard at times, but so can nearly everything in life. Ultimately, life is full of choices, including choosing your hard. Maintaining self-control despite challenges or engaging in destructive behaviors are both hard in their own ways. Choose wisely.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Ep. 288: 7 Traits to Create a More Resilient Relationship

Enter to win the "100 Book Reviews Contest" for Tried and True

Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True companion devotional here

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves&mdash;marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work?
In this episode, I break down five reasons your marriage might feel difficult right now, and more importantly, how to fix it. Even good couples go through seasons of tension, frustration, and emotional distance but understanding the root causes of your marriage problems can change everything.
I talk about how communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, unresolved hurt, and emotional disconnection can slowly impact the health of your relationship.
If you want to strengthen your marriage, improve communication, and rebuild intimacy, this episode will help you see what might be happening and where to start.
This episode is especially helpful if you are:
<ul data-start="2280" data-end="2497">
<li data-section-id="lbj5nk" data-start="2280" data-end="2325">
Struggling with conflict in your marriage
</li>
<li data-section-id="ds93c8" data-start="2326" data-end="2379">
Feeling emotionally disconnected from your spouse
</li>
<li data-section-id="1n92dt5" data-start="2380" data-end="2437">
Trying to rebuild trust after relationship challenges
</li>
<li data-section-id="165znt3" data-start="2438" data-end="2497">
Looking for faith-based encouragement for your marriage
</li>
</ul>
Marriage can be hard at times, but so can nearly everything in life. Ultimately, life is full of choices, including choosing your hard. Maintaining self-control despite challenges or engaging in destructive behaviors are both hard in their own ways. Choose wisely.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:&nbsp;
Ep. 288:&nbsp;<a href="https://danache.com/marriage-podcasts/288-7-traits-to-create-resilient-relationships/">7 Traits to Create a More Resilient Relationship</a>
<a href="https://danache.com/tried-and-true-book">Enter to win the "100 Book Reviews Contest" for Tried and True</a>
<a href="https://triedandtruemarriagebook.com">Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True companion devotional here</a>
&nbsp;
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
&nbsp;

We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves—marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work?

5 Reasons Your Marriage Feels So Hard (And How to Start Fixing It)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/d1959e30-9fd4-4efd-aca3-b40f0153083d/transcript

Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you? What do you do when you feel like you’re coming in second place in your marriage, or as I call it, “playing second fiddle.” 

I open up about with wisdom straight from my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, specifically taking you into the story of Jacob and Leah from the book of Genesis. If you’ve ever felt undervalued, overlooked, or like you just can't win your spouse’s affection—this episode is for you.

Plus, I'll unpack key conversation starters you can use to reconnect with your spouse and discuss these feelings in a healthy, constructive way. And, I’ll close out with a special prayer to cover you and your marriage.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:


What “playing second fiddle” looks like in marriage today


Lessons from Jacob and Leah: How God values those who feel unseen


How insecurity shows up—in-laws, kids, friends, or “ideals”


Why your worth and purpose can’t come from your spouse alone


Two powerful conversation starters to cultivate security and intimacy


A prayer for healing, unity, and renewed value in your marriage

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

Instagram 

Facebook 

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you? What do you do when you feel like you&rsquo;re coming in second place in your marriage, or as I call it, &ldquo;playing second fiddle.&rdquo;&nbsp;
I open up about with wisdom straight from my new book,&nbsp;Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, specifically taking you into the story of Jacob and Leah from the book of Genesis. If you&rsquo;ve ever felt undervalued, overlooked, or like you just can't win your spouse&rsquo;s affection&mdash;this episode is for you.
Plus, I'll unpack key conversation starters you can use to reconnect with your spouse and discuss these feelings in a healthy, constructive way. And, I&rsquo;ll close out with a special prayer to cover you and your marriage.
Here&rsquo;s what you&rsquo;ll hear in this episode:
<ul>
<li>
What &ldquo;playing second fiddle&rdquo; looks like in marriage today
</li>
<li>
Lessons from Jacob and Leah: How God values those who feel unseen
</li>
<li>
How insecurity shows up&mdash;in-laws, kids, friends, or &ldquo;ideals&rdquo;
</li>
<li>
Why your worth and purpose can&rsquo;t come from your spouse alone
</li>
<li>
Two powerful conversation starters to cultivate security and intimacy
</li>
<li>
A prayer for healing, unity, and renewed value in your marriage
</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Get my new book, <a href="https://triedandtruemarriagebook.com">Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples</a>
Follow Dana Che on the socials!&nbsp;
<a href="https://instagram.com/mrsdanache">Instagram&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://facebook.com/mrsdanache">Facebook&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/@mrsdanache">YouTube</a>
Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!&nbsp;
&nbsp;

Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you?

What to Do When You Feel Unseen, Unloved &  Like a Low Priority in Your Marriage?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/c3b5e06c-511a-4bd9-9e8e-b408013adba1/transcript

Could These 5 Unspoken Expectations Be Hurting Your Marriage?

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