Living with an emotionally unavailable or emotionally absent partner is tough. It can be lonely, disheartening, and frustrating. Many relationships move from the soulmate stage to the roommate stage due to this problem right here. This one is close to my heart - emotional unavailability in relationships. In this episode, we’ll explore the complexities of emotional detachment and, more importantly, discover the pathways to healing and connection. 

Picture this: you’re at your best friend's house. Their car is parked in the driveway, the garage door is wide open, and you know they're inside. However, when you knock on the door, there's no answer. You decide to take a peek inside, only to find them sitting on the couch, fully aware of your presence but actively choosing emotional detachment. This is what it's like to be in a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable, complete with the frustrations, loneliness, and insecurities it can bring. 

It's important to note that emotional unavailability often arises from a place of feeling unsafe. Whether rooted in past trauma, upbringing, or external factors, individuals may become emotionally detached as a way to protect themselves. Recognizing this fundamental cause is the first step to healing and reconnection. 

Common Signs of Emotional Unavailability: 

Distance: Emotionally unavailable partners may physically be there, but they keep an emotional distance. They might struggle with empathy, compassion, and meaningful conversations. 

Self-Denigration: Emotional unavailability can manifest as self-deprecation. The person might belittle themselves, which further hampers their ability to nurture others emotionally. 

Pathways to Healing Emotionally Unavailable Seasons

1. Create a Safe Space:

Creating a safe space in the relationship is essential to address emotional unavailability. This involves guarding your partner's vulnerability, refraining from using their shared experiences against them and helping them feel secure in sharing their emotions. You can not go around sharing your partner's baggage with your friends. 

2. Provide Language for Emotions:

Sometimes, people lack the language to articulate their feelings. As partners, we can assist by providing the words for these unspoken emotions. Please encourage them to explore their feelings and offer understanding. If someone feels left out, they might show anger.  

Catch the episode and find the full show notes with all the tips and practices at Podcast - Real Relationship Talk episode 177. Try these tips and practices in your relationship. Don’t give up. Pray that God will open their heart. I'd love to hear how this episode has encouraged you, so please reach out to me on Instagram @MrsDanaChe. Remember, a good relationship isn’t one that works. A good relationship is one where you put in the work. Take Care.  

Links Mentioned in this Episode: 

142: OVERCOMING LIVING WITH AN EMOTIONALLY ABSENT SPOUSE – WITH BEATRIZ VARGAS 

63: [SWEET REPEAT]: HOW PASSIVITY & APATHY ARE SILENTLY KILLING YOUR MARRIAGE 

11 – HOW APATHY & A LACK OF INTEREST IS SILENTLY KILLING YOUR RELATIONSHIP (RELATIONSHIP MISTAKES SERIES)

Other Resources Mentioned: 

Partner Quiz 

Thrive Wives Group 

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