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The Internet is Messing Up Our Kids with Dr. Shefali

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What does it mean to raise confident, emotionally healthy kids in a world of AI, social media, beauty standards and the manosphere? Dr. Shefali Tsabary, clinical psychologist and author of the 2010 bestseller The Conscious Parent, joins Danielle to unpack her new books, Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons. Dr. Shefali lays out a new reality of childhood, including the ways girls are excelling while struggling internally, why boys are searching for new models of masculinity and how algorithms are competing with parents for our children’s attention. She shares insight into everything from “good girl” conditioning and the male gaze to screen time, self-worth, curfews and whether 30 minutes of truly present parenting can actually be enough. Plus, Dr. Shefali challenges us to rethink what it means to be a “good” parent in our world today and shares why raising secure kids may have less to do with controlling them and more to do with trusting, listening and showing up. In this episode you’ll learn: 

  • How watching Netflix’s Adolescence gave Dr. Shefali a new sense of urgency around raising boys and ultimately inspired her book Raising Conscious Sons 
  • How AI and social media are competing with parents for kids’ attention, attachment and connection
  • Why boys are increasingly drawn to the manosphere and what parents can do to model a healthier version of masculinity.
  • How parents can teach boys to process rejection, vulnerability and difficult emotions instead of suppressing them.
  • Why children and teens may turn to AI chatbots for validation and emotional support.
  • How parental phone use can impact a child’s self-worth and sense of being seen.
  • Why lowering expectations in early childhood can actually help kids build confidence.
  • How giving kids age-appropriate choices can develop independence, resilience and self-trust.
  • Why raising a “good girl” can unintentionally teach daughters people-pleasing, obedience and silence.
  • Why girls can appear successful on the outside while struggling with anxiety, perfectionism and pressure within.
  • What the Kardashians can teach us about beauty standards, female empowerment, the male gaze and the messages young girls absorb from culture.
  • Why Dr. Shefali challenges the idea that women dress entirely “for themselves”—and why understanding our desire for external validation matters.
  • Why strict rules and too much parental control can sometimes create more rebellion in kids
  • How algorithms influence what we see, want and believe, and why Dr. Shefali believes our social media feeds are increasingly leading us to being “brainwashed.”
  • Why Dr. Shefali says Emma Grede’s viral “three-hour mom” comment may have a point: quality time with kids can matter more than quantity.

Dr. Shefali’s Book Recommendation: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle 

Grab a copy of Dr. Shefali’s books, Raising Conscious Daughters here and Raising Conscious Sons here.

Follow Dr. Shefali on Instagram.

 
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