Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

Lucy Kalanithi, MD, continues to instill hope in me. Today, she shares lessons from her life and her work as a primary care physician (she’s also Clinical Associate Professor of Medicine at Stanford University)—along with reflections on the legacy of her husband Paul Kalanithi, MD, who wrote the now canonical memoir When Breath Becomes Air before his death in 2015.    For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Journalist and bestselling author Jennifer B. Wallace shares the key ingredients to feeling like you matter, and to making others feel like they matter, too. She covers my favorite stories and stats from her new book Mattering, along with the practical tools, habits, and practices she leans on in her own life. We talk about the importance of putting a bow on things; how we can use the mattering lens to approach life transitions; the benefits of ego extension; and something called “the beautiful mess effect.” Wallace also shares how she’s approached what might be the hardest but most profound part of this, which is figuring out: How do I matter to myself? For the show notes, head to my Substack.

In this month’s solo episode, I’m sharing more about the model of developmental psychology that I’m finding incredibly useful right now: Spiral Dynamics. As a framework, I think it can help us understand our world and culture better—and it can guide us in the best, and most effective ways to respond to it.  If you want to go deeper into Spiral Dynamics, there is a ton more for you in the show notes on my Substack.

Tori Dunlap is the author of Financial Feminist and the host of the podcast of the same name. She has a very compelling way of helping women to effectively approach (and earn) money, while addressing underlying emotions, traumas, triggers, and stories. I think you’ll find her advice helpful if: You’ve ever been told, or thought, that you’re bad with money. You feel like you need to justify any spending or any earning. You feel like you have no control over your money (or your partner handles all the finances). You’d love to switch from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. Or, you can deduce what the ostrich effect is, and you want to know how to combat it.   For the show notes, head to my Substack.   Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool, at monarch.com/thread.

Michael Meade is a groundbreaking storyteller, author, and scholar of mythology, anthropology, and psychology. He blew my mind with a historical gem that he shared in this conversation. I was also moved by his perspective on our “crisis of masculinity” and the manosphere, what might be the antidote to monoculture, and why the hero’s journey is a bit of a fallacy. And, even more so, his case and how-to for each of us, individually, to grow our own soul. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Kelly Corrigan Wonders recently launched a 6-part series called Super Traits, featuring conversations with people like NBA coach Steve Kerr, writer George Saunders, and do-gooder Father Greg Boyle, all masters of the super traits. These deep dives are one part inspiration and one part How To guide on how to get yourself in the right headspace for a great 2026. Tune in to hear fantastic conversations on wonder, humility, and curiosity. 

 ”That’s what everything comes back to for me—are you feeling the way that you want to feel every single day?” says podcast host and author Liz Moody. “And if you’re not, how can I give you more tools and more resources to do so?” Here, I asked Moody to share her life mottos, philosophies, habits, and ways of thinking that I find particularly compelling. Such as: Your body is for living, not looking. And Liz’s match theory behind how we meet people in life. We talk about the connection between novelty and meaning (and ways to add in micro bits of novelty to our lives). She shares some interesting research about friendship, like how many friends make sense in your inner circle and why friendships are formed through something we tend to overlook. We also cover goals we’ve brought into the New Year with us—and much more. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Psychological astrologer Jennifer Freed shares a preview of 2026, her tips for each sign, and, of course, many more nuggets of her signature wisdom. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Here’s my take on New Year’s resolutions and what I think many of us are ready to resolve and let go of. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

This week—for some joy, levity, and laughs—I asked my very funny friend to keep us company. Nora McInerny is an author and the host of the podcast Thanks for Asking. Today, she’s sharing some holiday traditions that would be fun to try out with your family or friends, along with a minimal gift-giving method that truly impressed me. We talk TV show recommendations for the season, personality surveys, and other ways to laugh right now. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Anna Malaika Tubbs is the New York Times–bestselling author of The Three Mothers and Erased. Today, we talk about some of the cultural forces and figures that have certainly shaped us—but that have largely been hidden from us. For the show notes, head to my Substack. Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool, at www.monarch.com/thread.

This is an unusual episode with one of my favorite psychic mediums, Carissa Schumacher—who is also a channel for Yeshua, or Christ Consciousness. Wild, I know! Here, Carissa is sharing insights pertaining to what is going on in our upside-down world currently, and what is ahead for us in 2026 (and even beyond, going into 2027 and 2028). She covers the major themes of the new era we’re entering, and her recommendations for do’s and don’ts next year. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Two of my favorite teachers started collaborating with one another to help us to individually, and collectively, release our burdens, heal, and deepen connection: Internal Family Systems (IFS) founder Richard Schwartz and group facilitator Thomas Hübl. Today, they share their process, helpful exercises and tools, and more from their new book, Releasing Our Burdens. For links to my previous episodes with Dick and Thomas, and all the show notes, head to my Substack.

“ We know in clinical science, there is nothing that is a quarter as protective against suffering as spirituality,” says psychologist Lisa Miller, PhD, author of The Awakened Brain. Miller shares poignant research and patient experiences that changed the way she thought about mental health, and her life. She outlines three significant windows in our lives—and how we might approach each. And she also shares her three-step synchronicity practice; the red-door, yellow-door practice; and some help for parents that I really appreciated. For the show notes, head to my Substack. Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarch.com/thread.

In November’s solo episode: A major reframe I had. What you might learn from the Trickster archetype. Little ways I’m finding meaning in the universe. Other ways of thinking about the process of evolution and change. How we might hold inspiration and discernment at once—and why this is crucial. Thoughts on the guru-ification of our culture and other things happening in our upside-down world. The (perhaps surprising) book I’m obsessed with right now. And more.   For the show notes, head to my Substack.

James Kimmel, Jr., PhD, is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine and the author of The Science of Revenge. He’s known in part for identifying compulsive revenge seeking as an addiction. He explains how perceived wrongs, grievances, and revenge desires—and how we deal with them, or not—affect us all. Actually trying to get revenge is pretty much always a lost cause—it simply makes us feel worse—but often, blanket forgiveness feels impossible. Which is why Kimmel came up with a simple but brilliant process that you can run through in the courtroom of your mind. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Renowned psychic medium Laura Lynne Jackson shares how each of us can use our own intuition and respond to messages from our teams of light, as she calls them, to live a more meaningful, connected, and fun life. She also shares the download she received from the other side that prompted her to write her new book Guided, which follows her New York Times bestsellers Signs and The Light Between Us. For the show notes, head to my Substack. Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarch.com/thread. 

“We’re in a time of masking and masks, whether we know it or not,” says psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock. “And my hope is that us talking about it draws that into greater consciousness for people to make decisions about when to put them on and when to take them off.” Today, we’re talking about persona, in the sense of the masks we wear for various reasons (some beneficial, some nefarious). And, how, in becoming attached to the idea of authenticity and being in a rush to identify someone else or ourselves as inauthentic—we can really miss our mark. For the show notes, including sign-up links to the events that Satya and I will be doing together, head to my Substack.

“I believe basically what I’ve seen in the laboratory,” says scientist Dean Radin, PhD. “I'm driven by experience just like anybody else, except my experience is experiment.” Radin studies things like telepathy, consciousness, quantum physics, and more parapsychology. He shares some of the most fascinating discoveries from his lab, broader research, and new book The Science of Magic. Such as, how the present can be influenced by the future. For the show notes and links (including that Jeffrey Kripal story that I share after today’s conversation), head over to my Substack.

In my one episode sans guest this month, I’m reflecting on: how we might enjoy solitude more (and fear loneliness less), the manifestation program I just finished (called the Money Challenge), how I’m feeling about attention and power these days, and a couple of other micro and macro realizations that are surfacing right now. For the show notes, head over to my Substack.

“There are so many blessings in the in-between,” says Jessica Gill, chief content officer at To Be Magnetic and cohost of the Expanded podcast with Lacy Phillips. “You can manifest amazing mini manifestations or just kismet opportunities or these things that you wouldn't even believe would transpire in the midst of doing this work.” Today, Gill breaks down the deeply intuitive—and simple, but not easy—manifestation process that is the core of To Be Magnetic and the new book How to Manifest. This has changed the way I think about manifestation, the purpose of it, and the potential it has to help us outgrow old dynamics and evolve with new ones. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Social psychologist Carol Tavris, PhD, breaks down cognitive dissonance, why it’s so hard for us to see our own blind spots, the power and danger of self-justification, and the pyramid of choice that can lead us to some unexpected places. She also shares some fascinating findings about anger and catharsis that turn a few assumptions on their head. In doing so, she helps us understand our own behaviors and motives better—and she helps us to see others more clearly. For the show notes, head over to my Substack.

Longtime sex-advice columnist and author Dan Savage shares how he thinks about monogamy, marriage, infidelity, and repair. We explore how sex and relationships get conflated. We get into identities, orientations, preferences, language, and how we’re raising kids today. Also, Savage’s take on heteropessimism, what makes a man an attractive partner, and a word he introduced me to: tolyamory, meaning tolerating your lover’s BS. There’s so much to unpack in here, and to keep thinking about. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

“We have to let go of our own patriarchy,” says Elinor Dickson. “And we’re afraid to because it represents control for us.” Dickson spent more than 35 years as a Jungian therapist, and she cowrote the seminal Dancing in the Flames with her good friend Marion Woodman. She’s one of the wise elders of our time. We explore the new universal mythos our culture so badly needs, Dickson’s fascinating historical perspective (including how our modern world is largely shaped by the Great Plague), and why neither a matriarchy or a patriarchy is right for us. Dickson also shares where she sees shoots of hope, and one wild story of synchronicity.  For the show notes, head to my Substack.

In this month’s solo episode, I’m exploring the parts of our culture and our collective that we can own—and impact. And I’m sharing more on the power of triangulation, and how you can use certain systems and tools to better understand yourself, your roles, and what you might be trying to do in work and in life. For ALL the show notes, head over to my Substack.

The hilarious Jen Hatmaker (New York Times–bestselling author and host of the podcast For the Love) joins me to chat, in part, about her new memoir Awake. We talk about the moment in her life when everything seemingly dissolved (including her marriage of 26 years and her relationship to the church) and the much deeper awakening that she entered from there, when she truly started to rely on herself. For the show notes, head to my Substack.

Katie Hendricks, PhD, is known for helping people use their body’s innate intelligence. She shares some of her most powerful tools and teachings, including: Her fear-melters for when we get caught in fight, flee, freeze, or faint mode. How to play with your pace so that you’re able to get present, instead of just feeling at the effect of everything coming at you. The loop of awareness, which is a tool for shifting your attention and getting the nourishment of somebody else’s aliveness. Why she sorts life into two files every day. How to incrementally start spending more time in your zone of genius. And persona work. These are potent (and often fun) ways to, as Hendrick puts it, be filling your reservoir so that you don’t have to feel victim to overwhelm, or sacrifice yourself to the world. I’m including a lot in the show notes, including links to the movements for each fear-melter. You’ll find everything on my Substack.

“I don't think anybody manages to go through their experience incarnated in human form and not have chapters of your life that are like, what literally just happened?” says Elizabeth Gilbert. “How did I end up here and who am I? And where did the ground go beneath my feet?” Today, Gilbert shares the story behind her new memoir, All the Way to the River: Love, Loss, and Liberation. She rightly describes it as the most excavating and the most searching thing she’s ever written. The book, and this conversation, are full of lessons for all of us about what we might search for, and find, in ourselves, in our relationships, and in love. For the show notes, head over to my Substack.

“This waiting for approval from daddy—all of that is so antithetical to actually living your own existence,” says psychotherapist Satya Doyle Byock. Today, Byock returns for a conversation about the ego, why it gets a bad rap, and why we need a strong sense of self to be in relationship with anyone. Also: our culture’s ascension myth, and why we have a tendency to misinterpret Jungian psychology and overemphasize the importance of individuation and the drive to transcend. Then, Byock shares something poignant about how life, for her, stays beautiful and bountiful, even in the extreme difficulty of things. For the show notes (including links to my previous conversations with Satya Doyle Byock and our I Ching video workshop), head over to⁠ my Substack⁠.

“What does it mean to make change in my life—not from a place that there was something wrong with me?” asks my coauthor Courtney Smith. “But I made choices that have gotten me here. I respect and value those choices. I understand I wouldn’t be here without them. And I'm also choosing to do something a little bit different going forward.” Courtney is a coach, group facilitator, and Enneagram expert. Today, we’re taking you through the seven tools that form the core process of our new workbook Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness: A Process for Reclaiming Your Full Self. If you want to go deeper, I’m including a lot of interconnected material in the show notes (per usual, though)—including links to my past conversations with Courtney.

Today it’s just me, sharing a few revelations I’ve had this summer around: The set ages we seemingly get stuck at. Emotions I’m connecting to for the first time in my life (and how certain codes of anger have helped me). How busyness impacts our physical patterns and the way we hold our bodies, or clench our weight. And practicing rejection and building our capacity to hear no, while simultaneously building our capacity to say no. (In this month’s solo episode, I also get into some life-altering experiences I’ve had with different healers, and the new list I compiled of my favorite healers.) For the show notes, links to all the resources I mention in the episode, and my new workbook Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness—head over to my Substack.

“We’re not empty containers just being filled up with fear and terror and trauma,” says psychotherapist Francis Weller. “We’re also medicine carriers.” Many of you will know Weller from his moving conversations about grief with Anderson Cooper, or his beautiful book The Wild of Edge of Sorrow. Weller’s new book, In the Absence of Ordinary, is exactly what we need now. Today, we talk about the wisdom and vitality that our grief can bring forth if we resist the impulse to go numb. Weller talks about what happens when we keep our grief company, when we allow it to keep moving, when we give ourselves what we’ve so been needing. He invites us, in this time of uncertainty, to move toward imagination, and what he calls the long dark—a space where we can connect with our own immensity, and collectively receive the medicine that is waiting there for all of us. For the show notes (including links to the new edition of The Wild Edge of Sorrow and In the Absence of Ordinary, which was just released), head over to my Substack.

“If we stop transforming, and we try to hold ourselves back, we’re effectively stagnating and killing the life that’s ahead,” says psychologist and author Sharon Blackie, PhD. Today, we talk about what Blackie has learned from studying myths and fairy tales, and working to reimagine the stories that currently define women’s lives. She shares a much-needed, wise, and beautiful perspective on the rebirth that can happen around menopause—when the layers that once defined us are peeled back, to reveal a deeper core, and a chance to transform once more. For the show notes, head over to ⁠my Substack⁠.

“We can’t change what’s happened, but we can change what it looks like inside of our mind-brain-body network,” says neuroscientist Caroline Leaf, PhD. Here, Leaf shares what she’s learned about how our minds work, and how we can change a thought, a habit, a pattern. And we get into the compelling 63-second intervention from her new book, Help in a Hurry: Simple Tips for Finding Peace When You're Overwhelmed, Anxious, or Stressed.      For the show notes, head over to ⁠my Substack⁠.

Thomas Hübl (a frequent guest here) is a renowned teacher whose work has focused on resilience and healing trauma. In this conversation, we explore: Some of our biggest fractured interpretations of the world, and how we can gain more clarity and connection. The impulse to become very certain about something very quickly, and our tendency to see other people in 2D—and the consequences of doing so. Using our own energy to temper, or shift, a larger energy that feels overwhelming. Different ways to approach conflict. Letting go of our commitment to having the most extreme reaction. And some of our judgments around wellness and self-care. For the show notes, more on Thomas Hübl, and links to all our previous conversations together, head over to my Substack.

In this month’s solo episode, I’m sharing some thoughts on why everyone seems to want a book under their belt, why that may or may not be the right move for you, as well as concrete tips and takeaways about what to think through before you begin putting words on paper. Most importantly, I share some tips and frameworks for getting you through the creative process once you begin. For the show notes (and so many links if you want to go deeper), head over to my Substack.

Today, I’m talking to Meggan Watterson—theologian and author of The Girl Who Baptized Herself—about the importance of being embodied, the search for self, where we derive power, and the way that culture is edited and passed down to us. Watterson tells the incredible stories behind the Gospel of Mary (and what happened to Mary Magdalene), and the Acts of Paul and Thecla (and what happened to Thecla). We also explore where my work meets hers, and the birth of the seven powers, which become the seven cardinal vices, or the seven deadly sins.   For the show notes, head over to my Substack.  

Rutger Bregman is the New York Times–bestselling author of Moral Ambition. Today, he shares his model for living a more meaningful life. It’s not about being an idealist, or following your “passions.” It is, in many ways, about effectively solving the problems in our lives using the talents we already have. For Rutger Bregman’s work (including that amazing viral Davos clip, in case you missed it), head over to my Substack.  

“What matters is: Are you free?” asks Elizabeth Ralph. “Do you feel free?” Ralph is a former finance trader, and the founder of the Spiritual Investor, where she now helps people reach financial freedom in less traditional ways. Together, we explore some of my own (self-limiting) stories around money, and how our ego and identity gets wrapped up in our relationship to money. Ralph coaches us through moving toward a place of money neutrality, where it feels like money doesn’t have such a tight grip on us. And she explains why she believes the spiritual world “has to wake up to money.”   For links to Elizabeth Ralph’s programs and the show notes, head over to my Substack.    

“The midlife crisis is not a dark night of the soul,” says Chip Conley, founder of the Modern Elder Academy. “It’s a dark night of the ego.” Conley, who is also the author of Learning to Love Midlife, outlines the main myths that we’re led to believe about midlife—and some optimistic data about what actually happens during this chapter of our lives. He shares different frameworks for navigating the transitions that come in midlife. We talk about how in the early parts of our lives, we’re often naturally focused on constantly accumulating knowledge—and how it can be such a relief, and a gift, to be able to shift into distilling it all into wisdom.   For links to Chip Conley’s work and the show notes, head over to my Substack.  

In this month’s solo episode, I’m sharing: The tools and people helping me to manage my fear right now. Thoughts on growing up versus waking up. The most important things I’ve learned from the Spiral Dynamics theory of human development, and Ken Wilbur’s concept of holarchies. What makes me believe there is a way for many of us to expand our worldviews and push up the spiral now. And more.   For the show notes (and so many links if you want to go deeper), head over to my Substack.  

In her new book, The Genius Myth, journalist Helen Lewis explores how and why we label certain people geniuses; and the impact this has on said geniuses, us, and culture at large. Today, we talk about our perception of the exceptional, and some of our more pernicious and dark misperceptions.   For the show notes, head over to my Substack.  

“Living on fire is really a metaphor for figuring out two things,” says Shannon Watts. “What is limiting you. And what is calling you.” Watts spent 11 years as the full-time volunteer lead of Moms Demand Action, which she founded. Now, as she puts it, Watts continues to summon the audacity of other women. Today, she shares so many useful life nuggets from her new book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark Into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age.   For the show notes, head over to my Substack.  

“You're going to find a lot of people doing their best, revealing how beautiful and strange we are, and how remarkable we can be,” says Peabody Award-winning broadcaster and founder of On Being Krista Tippett. In this conversation, Tippett shares where we might turn for more hope and pleasure, and how she thinks about what shapes our presence in the world. For the show notes, head over to my Substack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In her new memoir, The Dry Season, Melissa Febos (award-winning author of Girlhood) examines her (and our culture’s) relationship to love, to falling in love with someone, to being in love with someone. Today, we talk about why she decided to spend a year celibate after a particularly rough breakup, and what more she wanted from a relationship, from herself, and for her life. We talk about being conditioned to be codependent, the lovely things that have happened in our own long-term relationships when we’ve gone off script, what it actually means to be a people pleaser—and more. For links to Melissa Febos’s books and the show notes, head over to my Substack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Okay, this is a wild one. Danielle Gibbons is not a psychic, but she is a channel—she channels messages from Mother Mary. Today, she’s sharing her origin story, and a message from Mother: about how to create something sustainable and meaningful, adapt to these ever-evolving times, and find a little bit of beauty right now.  For the show notes, head over to my Substack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In May’s monthly solo episode, I’m reflecting on: motherhood, my mom, the Performance of Parenthood, and what provokes my anger around Mother’s Day. How badly the world needs us all to hold a balance of the masculine and feminine—and how badly we need the feminine to rise in men. What it might look like if we didn’t operate out of fear. Applying my writing process and system to other areas of life. What keeps us from saying no, and what keeps us from saying yes—based on our Enneagram types. And, more. For the show notes, head over to my Substack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“I think both of those things are problematic—both that we’ve optimized too many things and that it’s our sole worldview,” says Coco Krumme, applied mathematician and author of Optimal Illusions: The False Promise of Optimization. Today, we talk about what we lose by prioritizing optimization above all else—and what we could gain by choosing something else. We also talk about why Krumme thinks the threat of surveillance capitalism is overblown, and why she’s more optimistic about what humans can do than what AI can do. For the show notes, head over to my Substack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Here, I'm sharing another podcast series with you, called Other People’s Problems. In her new season, host and therapist Hillary McBride explores the potential power of psychedelics in a therapeutic setting. She leads clients through drug-assisted therapy—and we'll experience these real, unscripted sessions as they unfold, and get a more honest look at therapy using psychedelics. Which I hope helps to further demystify this often misunderstood practice and tool in trauma recovery. In this episode, we hear from Donovan, who has lived in fear and anger ever since telling the truth about being abused as a child. Now, after several ketamine therapy sessions, Donovan is able to look back at his young self with care. And, for his own children, Donovan works to become the kind of adult he needed then. You can listen to more episodes of Other People’s Problems at: https://link.mgln.ai/yK69mt. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Psychological astrologer Jennifer Freed, PhD, shares: What’s happening, astrologically speaking, that can inform the choices we make now, in the present. And she gives us a preview of what’s coming, and what opportunities the next astrological shifts will bring us. “Coming this summer, we will have a full transformation of planets and their signs,” says Freed. For the show notes and links to Freed’s latest projects, head over to my Substack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices