There are certain words that society uses to describe women who are not married. In English, it’s spinster. In Setswana, you might hear lefetwa. But what is it about a woman’s marital status that makes people feel entitled to comment on her life? Why is an unmarried woman often treated as though she has missed a milestone, failed at something, or somehow become less desirable simply because she doesn’t have a husband?

We are in conversation with Registered Counsellor, Nozipho Nkosi as we unpack the psychological effects words like these have on women. And how do we begin to separate what we genuinely want for ourselves from what society has taught us to want?