if you grew up latino, you are bound to experience Spanish church culture. Edward Rivera, artist, songwriter, and featured artist of Bethel Music, shares his journey and traumas and how he's healed his relationship with God through music.
Welcome back to the Overcome for podcast. I'm your host Jennica Lopez. Thank you guys so much for choosing to watch and listen to the podcast today. I am excited to bring and present our guests today. He is a member of Bethel Music. Yes, it was like Bethel Music. For those or for those that know who don't know, Bethel Music is probably one of the biggest Christian music brands. I feel that that is pretty out there. Anyways, his name is Edward Rivera. I'm so excited to connect with you and talk to you today because, you know, I feel like people that have grown up in church, like we were talking about when we were starting, when we were chit chatting before we started, Yeah, there's like a specific connection, especially Spanish churches, and you know, I feel like there's we all have some.
Shared stories, stories, trauma.
Trauma situations, and I said, like they're not unspoken of. There's people that talk about it. You know, maybe we could just chat and see how it is and then obviously talk about your growth and how you got to where you're at right now. So who is where did you come from? How did you Obviously you grew up in church, tell me about like your first experience and how growing up that.
Oh that was.
Well, first of all, I just want to say thank you for having me. I'm so honored to be here. And I've been watching your podcast for a minute too.
Really.
Yeah, of course I've learned about I've learned about stuff I didn't even know, you know, like you have so many topics, you talk about so many things.
It's really cool. Thank you.
Yeah. So yeah, I've been doing this for a long time now. I started off as a background singer first, but growing up in church, like, singing was not something I thought I was ever going to do because I I just the only people I saw on stage was like edemanas you know, like older ladies from church. They were playing exactly the sisters of the church. They were playing in my church specifically growing up. They were like they were the only guy on stage was the drummer. Everybody else was keyboard like girls. Okay, So I just thought, well, singing is for girls. I never thought about it at.
All, so like it wasn't like a possibility.
I didn't even know you could do anything with it. I just I wasn't even thinking about singing at all. And then until I was seventeen. That's when I like really like met I guess met the Lord, like met God, and yeah, like that's kind of what started everything. And I was just like I I was at that point in my life. I was kind of really empty and really lonely and just going through it as a teenager, you know, and I'm.
Broken.
The world is yeah, the world's over. Everything's just gonna yeah. So but yeah, I know it was good. Uh I met him. I met the Lord at a youth.
Camp and me too, I thought it.
Yeah, it's always youth camp and I went like my mom, oh my god.
You know what though, like, and I'm so sorry to cut you off, but these are the things that I'm saying, Like I'm I think every person I know has been saved at a youth camp.
Which is beautiful.
Yes the camp if you have it, if you're if you're old, still going no, But and.
I like whether because I love I appreciate, you know, being saved at a young age. You know, now that I'm older, I feel like it's reborn. And I don't know, maybe for you also the same, like you feel reborn now that you get older, and you feel like you meet not the better version of Christ, but like just a new review.
A healthier a healthier Yes, understand who Yes, yeah, I mean I'll tell you, I'll tell you.
I have so much. I'm sure you do too.
Church traumas, church stories, and yeah, like church was not something. It didn't wasn't fun for me growing up, so like, uh, it wasn't until that youth camp, Like I'm glad my mom made me go to be honest, but yeah, like it was, it was great. I'm I think everybody should go.
Okay, so we've obviously like we're obviously talking about traumas. Is there anything that like you've learned from then until now? Like, I don't know, because I feel like there's so many things that you can learn.
Oh my gosh, no, and I even said it.
You said it like a better understanding, a better version of yourself, I think, or even understanding of even like what who he is? Like I think as a kid, you just believe whatever they tell you. So they're like, if you do this, God's going to be mad at you or God's watching you, and you start feeling like so afraid and and feeling like that's of becomes the foundation of your relationship with God.
It's like very fear based, yes, and.
I feel like that still lives till this day? Does it like linger for you? Where like at least for me where I feel like I feel like I punish myself mentally but under like I know that God's not mad me, but I know in my head, like I think it's that you're whatever you're doing, making like every situation I.
Question myself exactly.
I think it's just like the accusation, like that voice of shame, and you know, like for example, like I'm tied it up right.
I have tracts everywhere too. I love it.
I love tattoos. But like growing up in church, like it was like that is a no no, you know, it.
Was like laboo forbidden exactly.
So you start thinking, like, man, is God really this mad about like you know, you start it starts to mess with your understanding of who he is.
But the older you get and the more you grow.
And the more you see things, and the more you even understand as the word differently than when you were a kid, because before they used to just tell you what it meant, and now that you're older, you can kind of you're old enough to question some of it and to you know, and then just get like a better understanding and you grow. So to answer your question, I feel like my biggest thing that I've learned, or the way that I've grown, is more so my understanding of who he is. So twenty eighteen or twenty nineteen, when Hurricane Harvey hit in Houston, I was doing a job out there, like a background job, and I didn't know that there was a hurricane coming.
So at all, and you see nothing. I wasn't. I'm from West Coast, like I don't think about hurt.
And I get there and they have like this hurricane that came and they shut everything down and I was like stuck out there.
It was like the most traumatic experience.
I couldn't I was out. I was stuck in Texas and Houston for like two weeks. I was at someone's house first, and like we have to get rescued at some point.
Like it was just nuts.
But the whole time that's kind of what started everything for me. The whole time, I was thinking, well, isn't God the one that sends the hurricanes? Because that's what they told me growing up, Like you know, it's like he's mad at people. So yeah, sending hurricane Yeah, Like how many times have they said that God's going to punish California and We're gonna be in the water somewhere, you know what I mean. Like it's all these curses that people have spoken for so long, and then I'm in it and I'm like, well what do I do with that information?
Yeah? Am I did you send me here to die? You know?
You start to question all these things that I've never I questioned God in a way that I never had. So that kind of catapulted like this curiosity in me to like want to know him a little deeper and want to know who he is.
Because that's what I was gonna ask you, like, how did your relationship shift? Like because there's people that like saved saved young Christian their whole lives and then they kind of just I mean like they just don't want to have a reallyship.
With God at all?
Right, right, you know what I mean?
And I feel like, Okay, thank you God that I'm able to understand and still question, how like for you, how did you manage to that shift, like you know, to not create that bitterness or to not create that you know what I mean?
Yeah, like church or with God or anything.
Man, I think I had to dev I had to own my relationship with him. So before I had a relationship with him through church, through ministry, through singing on a stage, through other people, I didn't. I don't think I actually really knew who he was, like I was. I knew who they told me he was, but it didn't line up with like a lot of what they told me was was like him was being him as angry and bitter and and upset with me, and I'm just like, you know, freaking all the time, scared, am I gonna go to Hell today or something?
You know, Like, But I think the shift was owning that I said.
Like I said, after that hurricane situation, I decided to be like I'm going to go on my own journey of figuring out who you are because I need to know you as good because I feel like you abandoned me there, you know, so I'm like, I don't know who you are, Like it was just like it was just it just threw me off. So I started to read on my own and ask questions. I asked a lot of questions. I said, why do we believe this? And like why can't what's so wrong about tattoos? And you know, I started to question. But when you question, I don't know if you have that same experience.
I don't. I don't actually don't know your church experience.
But if you question, it's if you question the pastor if you question, it's almost like you're questioning God. Yes you know, so then you don't even trust your own thoughts or your own stuff. But I've developed my own relationship with him. I've been able to like he know, his voice is so certain that like I don't care what people tell me, like if they know it was like if people start coming for me for like how I dress or how I look. I I know my own truth. I have my own foundation, so that shame doesn't hit me as it's like I'm shielded by truth.
You're and you're secure exactly where in what your foundation is. Yeah, we're gonna go on a quick break and we will be right back. Welcome back, you guys.
I'm actually curious to know your church history, Like do we share traumas? Yeah, you know everybody away from church. I don't want to be a part of this.
I know, no, But that's the thing is a lot of those people probably grew up in those situations and are left and that left and just don't and they have this specific image of what God is like, and that's you know, and that what's that's what makes me sad is that there's so many souls and so many people that happen in situations. Grew up question grew up in a Catholic even household where it was just super strict and super like this this, this this bad and I'm luckily like my parents weren't like that. My mom obviously, you know, I grew up Christian because my uncle's a pastor and it was very important that you know, God is there's a foundation. My mom wasn't the perfect Christian, Like, you know, we weren't going to church every Sunday. But then I went with my sister. At that point, I was already old enough to take myself to drive, and you know, I was in the worship team. I was very committed, and you know it, it got to a point where it was just like it just didn't feel peaceful anymore. And it was also because of decision decisions of people around me where it was like okay, like this isn't okay. Like and I'm not saying like and I'm not shaming those people, you know, but it was like the way you see God in those times, it's like you're supposed to be like the most perfect and the most holiest, and everyone's trying to be like just like Jesus and you know, forgetting that sin ever existed, you know. So it was kind of like you're just carrying a lot of weight and a lot of shame, and it's like it doesn't feel okay, this doesn't feel.
Like God, you know.
So and I left and I left, you know, and it was like obviously, you know, they have like specific, very specific.
Roles on how to be on the worship team or to be.
Able to serve anything, to do anything.
And for me, I just feel like at the end of the day, I'm still serving the Lord whether I do anything. What, you know, if I go to church every Sunday, you're not like, I'm still serving him and I know it's pleasing him. So it's like and that's where it was hard for people, at least for me to make that shift and to like, you know, for people to understand. And that's where you also lose friendships.
That's where you.
Also lose family members, and.
You know, it stays in the people have a very old school mindset and it's.
Just not wonder where it comes from.
Well, Like, I don't like to use that word because a lot of people talk because it's been tabooed.
But deconstruction is like such a big taboo word in the church.
But I don't feel like I deconstructed. I feel like I reconstructed. I feel like I didn't want to lose my faith, but I was definitely going to get to the core of like what is it that I believe?
Why do I believe it? And I'm going to stand on it.
Yeah, So once I started to get to the root of it, then you start to see, like would you say, you start to notice that like that doesn't feel like God, or that doesn't look like God, or what you're saying up there doesn't sound like who I know God to be. So you start to kind of be like, what do I do with that information? So I think it's super healthy, like to go through that, like what you did to question to do that, it's super healthy. I think that as long as you continue to anchor yourself in that faith, I think you're good.
Yeah, and that's what like, I think, that's what I live off today. Like as long as I have a good foundation, my relationship with God is you know, I'm feeding all the right places.
You don't have to prove that to anyone, No, And.
I don't know, I realistically don't. And I've learned that over the years to take that pressure off, you know what I mean. I don't like it sounds bad, but like being labeled as a Christian sets this perfect like you have to be this certain way, and it's like no, like, yes, I'm Christian, but I also you know, I do other things, and but I'm okay with what I'm doing. I'm okay with what I'm doing, and I'm at peace and I know.
And that's what matters exactly.
And my foundation is my foundation. Your foundation is your face.
You know.
Everybody has their own rules and that that's why I generally love to live by like you know what christ is my foundation. That is the one I'm running to be whatever, and without having that pressure on my friends or anybody else.
Like you know, I'm.
Perfectly imperfect, but I'm still loved and I'm still seen, and I'm still you know, a lot of beauty from ashes, from what you know, from what my from what my journey with God has been. He's created a lot, created a lot of good things, and I'm grateful. And you know, everyone has their own journey, and it's it hasn't been perfect.
It's been long and scary, and you know what, it's hard even for me. I'm not gonna lie to you like it's hard even for me as a I didn't sign up to be a Christian influencer.
I don't even like that word or that label or that name.
I didn't sign up what I because social media isn't what it is now right. So in the beginning, you just post because it's for your friends and you.
You love sharing.
They celebrate you, and then all of a sudden you realize that there's like people following you, and then they start to they start to have opinions about what you're doing and how you should live because they have a different man. Okay, So I sing a lot in the Spanish, you know, Spanish side, and a lot of the audience is from Latin America, and how we do church here in America is so different. Yes, especially so we would I'm a part of the I was I grew up as some as a god. I don't know if you know anything about that. But there was a Spanish side, and there was a white side, English side. When we called it the white side, but it was English side, and it was night and day Spanish side, so many rules. Boys said on one side, girl said on the other side, and then we would go to the When we would do the English side or the English part of the ag some as a god, it would be like a party. It'd be like fun, it'd be like so many things. So I know that that comes from culture and tradition and stuff from like that, from like the fifties, and a lot of like people that hold onto those beliefs still, but they're trying to put their own personal history or their own personal beliefs onto me. Yeah, and I'm like, I can't carry that. I didn't grow up that way. I don't believe that, you know. I remember one time this I went to go sing somewhere. It was a youth conference and I went. It was like one of my first times to like singing on my own, and I wore these shorts and that's like a no no in Spanish world. So I wore these shorts, and like, I thought it was cool because it was youth and like I do, I do. I've done youth stuff with basketball shorts before, you know, at the time. And this lady, well, she's like a big she was like a main pastor for that whole thing. She grabs me right I'm about to go on stage. She pulls me off and she's like and she's like, she tells me something in Spanish, but onlinkin though, because she's like, Mama said, I'm not collecta, but I gotta look at this.
And I was like, what does she say? What's collecta? Behind? I was just like, what's a collecta?
And then she told me and then I got what she said and she told me she was like go.
And I was like whoa. Like that just threw me off.
And I remember being like super hurt by that and being like why does it even matter?
You know, Like how I'm up there.
I don't sing in suit and a tie in my house by myself, you know, privately, So why would I feel like I have to dress up for you?
You know? So I have I have that.
I felt a lot of that pressure, like you, and I think I had to just like you said, re recognize that, like this is my relationship. I'm good. I know I'm good. I don't have to prove it to y'all. I don't have to post to prove it to y'all.
You know what I mean.
I like that that's your mentality because it's like you really don't owe anyone.
You don't have to prove your salvation to anyone.
Exactly as long as you're good.
Come on exactly. That's what I'm saying.
Yes, we're gonna.
Go on a quick break and we will be right back. Welcome back, you guys. So I want to talk about how you got into Bethel. Oh yeah, like that journey. How's it going now, dude?
I love that.
I love that I get to be like the like somebody representing for our people and like our culture and be able to bring what our own history and our own experience growing up in our own church culture and everything, bringing that into this space.
It's so cool. I get to be a bridge between them both.
So anyway, So it started, like I said, I was doing background work and after the hurricane, I had a severe I had PTSD and like severe chronic anxiety and a lot of stuff going on and Bethel really was The Lord really used Bethel to help to give me resources. I had no grid for mental health. I had no idea what it was. I thought people who had it were crazy.
I don't know. I just didn't think anything of it.
And that church was like had so much resources and tools on psychology and a lot on that type of that gave me so much help.
So it gave me a lot of healing.
And in that I decided to serve and sing there and make that since it was my church, I was just going to help there, never dreaming or thinking that it was going to become what it is now. And yeah, I mean it just I started, they started to use me to do like different services and then one of the videos kind of blew up and then it just kept going from there. So it was really cool.
I think the Lord's favor has been on that for sure.
And I I definitely and I love that what you said about, you know, bringing our culture, because I think that's what has been my favorite thing to listen to, Like it brings some type of healing, like an inner child healing, like when you hear those songs modern eye and just like it's like a breath of fresh air, and I agree, and I definitely can definitely agree that Bethel has been a pillar of that has helped me with my mental health as well, like psychologically, like it's helped me. They've also really helped me understand God in a better way to like try to see it differently, like I see.
Like wow, like.
This is what This is totally different from what I knew before.
You know how it is it? Ben or Bill?
John?
Bill, Bill, have you ever read that God Is Real? There's another book called I was gonna say that too. I was gonna bring that book up, and I was gonna bring another one called God Is Good because that answers a lot of my questions of during that time. I was like, how can God be good if this happened? I'm seeing people drown, I'm seeing houses it. I was thinking like how can God be good? And that, like I'm telling you that being there and getting all those resources in that book God Is Good like helped me so much. And not only that, but I got to see it reflect like he got to I got to see that book kind of reflected in his life, like he lives out what he's writing because his wife just passed from cancer, and like the fact that his response was to worship when she passed is just like, how do you even have the mental capacity to even think that way? Because the way I would be, I mean, I'm just being real, like the way I would be like so upset with the world or like you know, how could you do this?
You know?
But like the fact that I get to see it modeled is really special, Like, yeah, it's not just people, it's not just someone that's just telling you about it, Like he's living.
He's living sure, And that actually reminds me I actually did that when my.
Mom passed away. Did it help you?
It was hard?
It was hard, and it was because I remember the song I was singing it is how He Loves Us? He loves that one, but no, and they changed the lyrics and I'm like, I honestly don't.
To be honest, I don't remember.
I do not remember that moment in my life at all, Like I just remember like like like flashes.
But yeah, that is definitely.
How can you get through something like that without like without the option of having him as hope, Like that's.
What I'm saying.
I guess you can't.
You like that's the only reason why.
I was like, Okay, I'm not gonna be mad. This is the only hope I have, you know what I mean. But yeah, he becomes real like the book exactly exactly. So it's like then I started remembering those little things and you know, overall, God is good, guys, God is good no matter what.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.
So what are the next steps for you? What is something like?
Obviously you're in this realm, you're here for writing camp, what writing?
What?
What's the next steps for you?
What are you looking to do?
Honestly, I love songwriting so much.
I I love it more than being on a stage, to be honest, Like, I love that I get to do that.
But it's something, it's different, it's so different.
I love to see how far a song can get. I love to the creativity. It's like it's like art, it really is. So so that's what I really I'm looking forward to doing. I was just telling you before that I'm writing all kinds of music. I used to be so afraid to like go outside step, outside of the church genre or outside of that because of these voices and because of exactly and you know, traditional they tell us. You know, they're supposed to You're not supposed to be like you keep the world out and we're our own little world. And I don't believe that personally. I believe that we're supposed to carry our b salt and light into that space.
So how are we gonna? How am I gonna? You know? My goat My heart has been.
To get into the industry more on the mainstream side and just like be a light in that space, whether it be through writing or whatever. Like, I just want to continue to serve his people in that capacity. So that's what I'm looking forward to writing and recording more. And I know we got some more projects coming out with Bethel. We have the album coming out in January, the new one.
Yeah, I'm featured on it. I wonder.
I don't even remember if I say in Spanish afloat in Spanish s or not. I don't remember, but I love flowing and Spanish in there.
Yeah.
I got to wear this like because I know their audience. I was like, I'm going to wear this hat and I'm gonna put this Mexican flag right on it, like right on the side of it, and just like represent for my people.
Love that and this is what you're doing.
And it's a it's like I said, it's like it's a breath, refresh air.
It is.
It's definitely like like wow, like this is what it should have felt.
To ask your question, Yeah, scared, where do I want to go? What was like? Tell me like your top two favorite or the like songs that you can recall like growing up singing as a kid. But oh my god, I love that song.
Oh my god.
Sometimes I still throw it in there sometimes, Yes, I love it.
It's exactly remember I wanted, oh my god.
Those yes.
So for those of you who't know, coos are like hymns, like Spanish hymns, like old school church songs that they've sang for like ages.
Yes, you know what.
I don't know if this counts, but it was Israel and Jesus is the center, Jesus at the center song, He's at the center.
Yeah, no, that's a good song.
And then they would translated oh yeah, yeah.
Did you ever hear the Spanish version?
Yes, yes, love that one.
Yeah he did. He was really good.
He was like one of the first people that started translating and doing stuff yeah in Spanish before it became like cool to do that. Yeah, not everybody wants to do do you remember? Yeah, I can't believe you do. That's like blowing my mind right now.
You know what song that they would always have me do?
It was the super high pitched super like.
Oh god, I can't remember.
They had They had a lot of bangers though they did. But actually, wait, there were a lot of covers of hillsong song exactly, that's true.
Band credits. Yeah, favorite kill song cover band.
But I've been able to see the growth actually, like in the Latin Spanish Christian side, Like I remember when it was just Michael Sweet and like three people.
That's it.
That's a new one, that one, And now there's like so many and the growth. That's a classic one right there. He was like one of my favorite songwriter like worship songwrit like songwriters.
He had this one.
That's the one I got saved to actually and it was like, uh then, oh.
My, I love that, just weep to it. I don't even know why I was weeping crying.
Oh my gosh.
Well, it has been it has been wonderful speaking to you and obviously getting to know you and sharing trauma, trauma bonding.
But we made it. We're healing, our faith is still intact. We're still good.
We're there.
Please come to church. It's not as bad as it's better now.
It's it's not just you know, yeah, just Christ the song and music that the Lord loves you.
It's true.
And I don't want to like you know, I think more than anything, I know that there's people that some somebody is bound to relate to this and to understand, you know, the traumas and stuff.
And I want to let you guys know that.
It is okay. I think those moments shape us and they push us to just understand and know God differently.
And I see them as invitations to get to know Him in a different way for sure.
And make sure you guys please follow Edward. I don't know. This man's Instagram is private, you know, so that's a person that's coming off.
I'm going to take it off of private.
Okay.
I'm just taking a little break.
Okay, when you're when you're off your break, what is it?
It's Edward RIVERA.
There you go.
But yes, thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to come on the podcast, and I wish you the best, and I'll be listening and making sure.
To be keeping on me.
No thank you makes you guys like common subscribe follow Edward and I will see you guys next Tuesday. Bye. Overcome for podcast is a production of Iheartmichael podcast Network