I won't let my body out be outwait everything that I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I feel free, I know everybody of me. It's beautiful and I will always out way if you feel it, but yours here, she'll some love too. I give there, say good day and did you and die out way Happy Saturday, out wigh. It's leanne here. And today we're diving even deeper into this conversation that we started last week about recleaving your worthiness even if you don't feel like you fully embrace self love or acceptance or worthiness just yet. And so if you haven't listened to that episode, I definitely recommend going back and giving it a listen first, because it lays the foundation for what we're exploring here. And in that first episode, we unpacked why your worthiness isn't something that you have to earn or approve or work for, and how so many of us were wired to believe the exact opposite. But we also talked about, Okay, let's meet your skeptical brain where it is, where it's like, Okay, if I've been looking in the mirror and telling myself I'm worthy and trying to pretend like I don't care about my weight. Why do I still feel like this? It's not clicking. So we address that as well, And so today we're taking it a step further and talking about the trap of looking for your worthiness in all the wrong places, especially your body, your achievements and your approval from others, or your assumption or desire to be approved by others, and how to stop chasing that external validation so that you can finally feel safe and at home within yourself. And so, if you've ever felt like you needed to earn your worth, or if you've ever measured your value by what you accomplish or how you look or how much you weigh or how well you perform or fill in the blank, and if you've ever tried to prove yourself to the world by being the you know, the air quo it's a good girl, or the achiever or the fixer or the helper. And that's the big one. A lot of women that I work with, it's a self sacrificial, self abandonment side of things, because they're trying to help everyone else, right, and that becomes a worthiness badge. Of honor. So first of all, I just want you to know you're so not alone. We all have our own stuff, right, we all have our own worthiness gap, right. And so not only is this something that I've walked through personally, it's something that every woman I work with is also walking through. And that's no coincidence because again, from a young age, most of us were taught, whether directly or indirectly, that our worth was conditional and that we had to work for it and earn it and strive for it. And so maybe you were praised when you were air quotes thinner right, or when you got straight a's, or when you were quiet or polite or helpful or agreeable or just didn't make a fuss. Or maybe you were told that you were too much when you were emotional or had boundaries, or that your personality was too much, or that you were too you know, much, taking up too much space or too much room, right, Or maybe you were never told anything explicitly, but your nervous system learned to associate love and acceptance with performance or perfection or approval, and so you grew up becoming really good at contorting yourself into who you thought you needed to be and you, just like me, you probably wore the mask and you played the role, and you shrunk or over extended or hustled to earn your place, and slowly but surely, you started, whether you knew it or not, outsourcing your worth to things that were never meant to define you, to the scale, to your appearance, to other people's opinions, things that we think are benign, but like things like productivity and being liked and being needed and being good. Trust me, there's no shame, there's no judgment. I've used all of those measuring sticks, right. And here's the thing. You may have gotten the applause, and you may have gotten the approval, and you may have gotten the affirmation, but deep down it never actually made you feel safe or whole or worthy. Because the truth is, if you have to chase it to feel worthy, it's not real worthiness. Right. If your worth can be gained, it can be taken, and if it's conditional, it's unstable, and if it depends on something outside of you, it's always at risk. Right. And that's the painful reality that so many women are waking up to. They've done all the things they've hustled for worth in their bodies, in their jobs, in their marriages, in their parenting, in their social circles, and no matter what they do or how much they accomplish, it still doesn't feel like enough because it was never about any of those things in the first place. And so many of the women I work with come to me in the middle of this loop and they're like, if I could just lose the weight, then I'd feel worthy, Or if I could just stop binging, then I'd finally love myself and not walk around with so much shame. Or if I could just get more control or more discipline or more willpower, then I'd be happy. But here's what I always tell them, and it's lovingly, but it's direct. The real issue isn't your body or your eating or your habits. It's what you believe those things say about you. Okay, Now here's what I really want you to get. Your brain has made up a story that if you were thinner, or more disciplined or more accomplished, you'd finally feel okay, and that your value lives in your outcomes, or that how you look or how well you perform is a reflection of your identity. But that's the wiring of survival mode, right, of what your brain is just programmed to do. It's not the truth, And that is your nervous system running an old code and an old message and an old program. And it's programming and conditioning that says I'm not enough unless right and fill in the blank. We've all done it right, and I still catch myself doing it today, only now I have the tools to dismantle it. But it's again, it's not something to be ashamed of. It's part of the conditioning that we grow up in. Right, So I'm not enough and less right. And what happens when you're wired that way, right, is that even when you do achieve something, the relief is temporary. The anxiety comes back, and the voice in your head finds something else to criticize, because your worth is still on the line. Right, And this is the part that gets really tender. So I want you to hear me. You know with your heart, Okay, you were never meant to prove your worth. You were meant to just know it. Okay, let me say that again. You were never meant to prove your worth. You were meant to just stand in the knowingness of it. That's what I truly believe. And you were never meant to earn your place. You were meant to just belong and be just as you are. But your brain has been operating like it's in a courtroom, right, like it is in court on defense, every choice, every emotion, every flaw. It feels like it's being put on trial, right, And you're the prosecutor and the defendant and the judge and the jury all rolled into one. And all of that is rooted in one thing. And that one thing is a belief that your worth is up for debate, that your worth is on trial. But what if it's not right? What if your worth was never meant to be on trial in the first place? Right? What if there was nothing to prove? And the real gain, for lack of a way of saying it, was just to remember and to know, because here's the truth that your brain might not believe just yet, is that again, your worth is not up for negotiation. It's not based on what you do or what you weigh or how others see you. And it's not earned and it can't be revoked. It just is is right. And this was the hardest thing for me to get I'm like, wait a minute, you're saying that, Like I have a hundred extra pounds on my body and I'm worthy of love and belonging, and like I don't have to prove my worth by losing weight or when I was in the throes of career change, I'm like, I feel like a loser. I feel like a failure. I feel like fill in the blank because I don't feel successful yet and I don't have to. I'm still enough, Like I'm still acceptable and lovable right now in my low. And that's the thing about self love and self acceptance, like the true kind, right It's not about convincing yourself that you're amazing one hundred percent of the time. It's not about lying to yourself. It's about anchoring into your worth even when you don't feel like you deserve it and when you don't feel amazing, And it's about returning home to yourself, or having the ability to return home to yourself, especially when your inner credit critic is the loudest, and having the ability to talk back or supersede it or override it. But not in this like fake positivity kind of way, in a again anchoring into your worth kind of way, and it really is about choosing to be on your own side in a world that, let's be honest, it profits off you believing that you're broken. And when you stop chasing your worth through your body, your behavior, or your achievements, something wild happens. Okay, and I wouldn't have known it happened until it happened, right, But here's what happens. Your brain gets quiet, your nervous system softens, and for the first time in a long time, you can just be and you can eat without shame, and you can move your body without trying to punishment or earn calories, and you can speak your mind without overthinking it, and you can rest without guilt, and you can look in the mirror without spiraling because you're no longer trying to earn your place. You've already just claimed it. And ironically, it's from that place that real change becomes possible, when your worth isn't on the line, and you're no longer trapped in all or nothing patterns, and you're not swinging from restriction to rebellion, restriction to rebellion and trying to soothe your stress with food or overcompensate with control, and you're not trying to fix yourself. You're trying to know yourself. You're trying to get to know yourself, and that changes everything everything, Okay, And I know that's not what people are trying to tell you on Instagram, right, it's about like lose twenty pounds and twenty minutes, or here's the best smoothie for autoimmune or whatever it is, right, But it's like, what's causing the autoimmune, what's causing the nervous nervous system, what's causing you to be able to know what you can do, know what to do, but can't get yourself to do it right? And so it's not about trying to fix yourself with tactics. It's about knowing yourself so that you can stand in it. Right. It's an authority in who you are rather than outsourcing it, and that changes everything. And so if this message resonated with you, I want to just leave you with a gentle practice to try. Okay. And so every time you catch yourself thinking I need to do X to be enough, or I should be more X, or I don't deserve X until I why right, say this to yourself. Remind yourself my worth is not on trial. That is the lie. I don't have to earn my value today. My worth is not on trial. This is not up for debate. That's the fact that my worth is something I need to earn or hustle or work for today. That is the lie. And I don't have to earn it. I just have to see it and know it, and then I can go about my goals. This is not saying don't have goals. This is not saying don't try to better yourself. It's like, what if you grounded and rooted yourself in worthiness while you tried to go reach that goal. And I have to say, because I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't say it. Go use a strategy that's going to actually set you up for true health three dimensionally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, all of that, okay, But again, my worth isn't on trial. That is the lie. And even if you don't fully believe it yet, say it until your nervous system starts to settle right. Say it as many times as you need to interrupt the old pattern. And you know this is how the rewiring begins, not through perfection, but through practice and through repetition and through reminders, and you're not building self worth from scratch, you are returning to it, and you're reclaiming what was always yours. You just didn't know that you accidentally abandoned it, right, And I promise you it is not only possible, it is a certainty if you get in the reps. Okay, now, it's obviously there's more beyond the scope of this conversation, but this is where it starts. Is that acknowledging of like, nope, that whole thing that my worth is on trial, that is the lie. So that is it for today. Outweigh And if you want to learn more about how I teach my clients to turn off the part of their brain that's obsessed with their weight and food and go rewire their own brain and self image for pease and freedom, then head on over to stresslesseding dot com, where I've literally peeled back the curtain and walked you through the exact strategy. I teach my own clients to heal themselves from the all or nothing diet mentality and heal it for good without restricting themselves or punishing their bodies. So it's over there for you to access over on stresslesseding dot com and I will talk next week for Part three. Bye.

I won't let my body out be outwait everything that I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I feel free, I know everybody of me. It's beautiful and I will always out way if you feel it, but yours here, she'll some love too. I give there, say good day and did you and die out way Happy Saturday, out wigh. It's leanne here. And today we're diving even deeper into this conversation that we started last week about recleaving your worthiness even if you don't feel like you fully embrace self love or acceptance or worthiness just yet. And so if you haven't listened to that episode, I definitely recommend going back and giving it a listen first, because it lays the foundation for what we're exploring here. And in that first episode, we unpacked why your worthiness isn't something that you have to earn or approve or work for, and how so many of us were wired to believe the exact opposite. But we also talked about, Okay, let's meet your skeptical brain where it is, where it's like, Okay, if I've been looking in the mirror and telling myself I'm worthy and trying to pretend like I don't care about my weight. Why do I still feel like this? It's not clicking. So we address that as well, And so today we're taking it a step further and talking about the trap of looking for your worthiness in all the wrong places, especially your body, your achievements and your approval from others, or your assumption or desire to be approved by others, and how to stop chasing that external validation so that you can finally feel safe and at home within yourself. And so, if you've ever felt like you needed to earn your worth, or if you've ever measured your value by what you accomplish or how you look or how much you weigh or how well you perform or fill in the blank, and if you've ever tried to prove yourself to the world by being the you know, the air quo it's a good girl, or the achiever or the fixer or the helper. And that's the big one. A lot of women that I work with, it's a self sacrificial, self abandonment side of things, because they're trying to help everyone else, right, and that becomes a worthiness badge. Of honor. So first of all, I just want you to know you're so not alone. We all have our own stuff, right, we all have our own worthiness gap, right. And so not only is this something that I've walked through personally, it's something that every woman I work with is also walking through. And that's no coincidence because again, from a young age, most of us were taught, whether directly or indirectly, that our worth was conditional and that we had to work for it and earn it and strive for it. And so maybe you were praised when you were air quotes thinner right, or when you got straight a's, or when you were quiet or polite or helpful or agreeable or just didn't make a fuss. Or maybe you were told that you were too much when you were emotional or had boundaries, or that your personality was too much, or that you were too you know, much, taking up too much space or too much room, right, Or maybe you were never told anything explicitly, but your nervous system learned to associate love and acceptance with performance or perfection or approval, and so you grew up becoming really good at contorting yourself into who you thought you needed to be and you, just like me, you probably wore the mask and you played the role, and you shrunk or over extended or hustled to earn your place, and slowly but surely, you started, whether you knew it or not, outsourcing your worth to things that were never meant to define you, to the scale, to your appearance, to other people's opinions, things that we think are benign, but like things like productivity and being liked and being needed and being good. Trust me, there's no shame, there's no judgment. I've used all of those measuring sticks, right. And here's the thing. You may have gotten the applause, and you may have gotten the approval, and you may have gotten the affirmation, but deep down it never actually made you feel safe or whole or worthy. Because the truth is, if you have to chase it to feel worthy, it's not real worthiness. Right. If your worth can be gained, it can be taken, and if it's conditional, it's unstable, and if it depends on something outside of you, it's always at risk. Right. And that's the painful reality that so many women are waking up to. They've done all the things they've hustled for worth in their bodies, in their jobs, in their marriages, in their parenting, in their social circles, and no matter what they do or how much they accomplish, it still doesn't feel like enough because it was never about any of those things in the first place. And so many of the women I work with come to me in the middle of this loop and they're like, if I could just lose the weight, then I'd feel worthy, Or if I could just stop binging, then I'd finally love myself and not walk around with so much shame. Or if I could just get more control or more discipline or more willpower, then I'd be happy. But here's what I always tell them, and it's lovingly, but it's direct. The real issue isn't your body or your eating or your habits. It's what you believe those things say about you. Okay, Now here's what I really want you to get. Your brain has made up a story that if you were thinner, or more disciplined or more accomplished, you'd finally feel okay, and that your value lives in your outcomes, or that how you look or how well you perform is a reflection of your identity. But that's the wiring of survival mode, right, of what your brain is just programmed to do. It's not the truth, And that is your nervous system running an old code and an old message and an old program. And it's programming and conditioning that says I'm not enough unless right and fill in the blank. We've all done it right, and I still catch myself doing it today, only now I have the tools to dismantle it. But it's again, it's not something to be ashamed of. It's part of the conditioning that we grow up in. Right, So I'm not enough and less right. And what happens when you're wired that way, right, is that even when you do achieve something, the relief is temporary. The anxiety comes back, and the voice in your head finds something else to criticize, because your worth is still on the line. Right, And this is the part that gets really tender. So I want you to hear me. You know with your heart, Okay, you were never meant to prove your worth. You were meant to just know it. Okay, let me say that again. You were never meant to prove your worth. You were meant to just stand in the knowingness of it. That's what I truly believe. And you were never meant to earn your place. You were meant to just belong and be just as you are. But your brain has been operating like it's in a courtroom, right, like it is in court on defense, every choice, every emotion, every flaw. It feels like it's being put on trial, right, And you're the prosecutor and the defendant and the judge and the jury all rolled into one. And all of that is rooted in one thing. And that one thing is a belief that your worth is up for debate, that your worth is on trial. But what if it's not right? What if your worth was never meant to be on trial in the first place? Right? What if there was nothing to prove? And the real gain, for lack of a way of saying it, was just to remember and to know, because here's the truth that your brain might not believe just yet, is that again, your worth is not up for negotiation. It's not based on what you do or what you weigh or how others see you. And it's not earned and it can't be revoked. It just is is right. And this was the hardest thing for me to get I'm like, wait a minute, you're saying that, Like I have a hundred extra pounds on my body and I'm worthy of love and belonging, and like I don't have to prove my worth by losing weight or when I was in the throes of career change, I'm like, I feel like a loser. I feel like a failure. I feel like fill in the blank because I don't feel successful yet and I don't have to. I'm still enough, Like I'm still acceptable and lovable right now in my low. And that's the thing about self love and self acceptance, like the true kind, right It's not about convincing yourself that you're amazing one hundred percent of the time. It's not about lying to yourself. It's about anchoring into your worth even when you don't feel like you deserve it and when you don't feel amazing, And it's about returning home to yourself, or having the ability to return home to yourself, especially when your inner credit critic is the loudest, and having the ability to talk back or supersede it or override it. But not in this like fake positivity kind of way, in a again anchoring into your worth kind of way, and it really is about choosing to be on your own side in a world that, let's be honest, it profits off you believing that you're broken. And when you stop chasing your worth through your body, your behavior, or your achievements, something wild happens. Okay, and I wouldn't have known it happened until it happened, right, But here's what happens. Your brain gets quiet, your nervous system softens, and for the first time in a long time, you can just be and you can eat without shame, and you can move your body without trying to punishment or earn calories, and you can speak your mind without overthinking it, and you can rest without guilt, and you can look in the mirror without spiraling because you're no longer trying to earn your place. You've already just claimed it. And ironically, it's from that place that real change becomes possible, when your worth isn't on the line, and you're no longer trapped in all or nothing patterns, and you're not swinging from restriction to rebellion, restriction to rebellion and trying to soothe your stress with food or overcompensate with control, and you're not trying to fix yourself. You're trying to know yourself. You're trying to get to know yourself, and that changes everything everything, Okay, And I know that's not what people are trying to tell you on Instagram, right, it's about like lose twenty pounds and twenty minutes, or here's the best smoothie for autoimmune or whatever it is, right, But it's like, what's causing the autoimmune, what's causing the nervous nervous system, what's causing you to be able to know what you can do, know what to do, but can't get yourself to do it right? And so it's not about trying to fix yourself with tactics. It's about knowing yourself so that you can stand in it. Right. It's an authority in who you are rather than outsourcing it, and that changes everything. And so if this message resonated with you, I want to just leave you with a gentle practice to try. Okay. And so every time you catch yourself thinking I need to do X to be enough, or I should be more X, or I don't deserve X until I why right, say this to yourself. Remind yourself my worth is not on trial. That is the lie. I don't have to earn my value today. My worth is not on trial. This is not up for debate. That's the fact that my worth is something I need to earn or hustle or work for today. That is the lie. And I don't have to earn it. I just have to see it and know it, and then I can go about my goals. This is not saying don't have goals. This is not saying don't try to better yourself. It's like, what if you grounded and rooted yourself in worthiness while you tried to go reach that goal. And I have to say, because I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't say it. Go use a strategy that's going to actually set you up for true health three dimensionally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, all of that, okay, But again, my worth isn't on trial. That is the lie. And even if you don't fully believe it yet, say it until your nervous system starts to settle right. Say it as many times as you need to interrupt the old pattern. And you know this is how the rewiring begins, not through perfection, but through practice and through repetition and through reminders, and you're not building self worth from scratch, you are returning to it, and you're reclaiming what was always yours. You just didn't know that you accidentally abandoned it, right, And I promise you it is not only possible, it is a certainty if you get in the reps. Okay, now, it's obviously there's more beyond the scope of this conversation, but this is where it starts. Is that acknowledging of like, nope, that whole thing that my worth is on trial, that is the lie. So that is it for today. Outweigh And if you want to learn more about how I teach my clients to turn off the part of their brain that's obsessed with their weight and food and go rewire their own brain and self image for pease and freedom, then head on over to stresslesseding dot com, where I've literally peeled back the curtain and walked you through the exact strategy. I teach my own clients to heal themselves from the all or nothing diet mentality and heal it for good without restricting themselves or punishing their bodies. So it's over there for you to access over on stresslesseding dot com and I will talk next week for Part three. Bye.