OutweighOn this week's episode of Outweigh, Leanne tackles a question on every woman's mind stuck in the diet-and-weight-loss cycle: "Does it ever get easier?" Leanne challenges the idea of quick-fix diets and restrictive plans, arguing that they simply create more of the yo-yo effect that you're desperate to break free from AND leave you feeling like a prisoner in your own body.
Instead, she proposes a different approach: focusing on the "why" behind your struggles with food and body image. By becoming a master of your thoughts and habits, you can break free from the "diet mentality" and start creating sustainable change. The episode offers a seed of hope, suggesting that true ease comes from changing your thinking, not through sheer willpower and deprivation.
HOST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about how to turn off the part of your brain that’s obsessed with food or obsessed with your weight and rewire your own brain for peace and freedom,....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
I won't let my body out me out wait everything that I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning love who I am, I get I'm strong, I feel free, I know everybody of me is beautiful and that will always out way if you feel it. But she'll some love to the food. Get there, say go one day, Anita, did you and die out way?
Happy Saturday out way.
I'm Leanne Ellington, and we are here to talk about one of the questions that I hear all the time from women that are stuck inside the food and body prison, which is does it get easier? And that really is the million dollar question that doesn't have a completely simple answer, but we are going to simplify it as much as we possibly can today, okay, and then stay next week. I'm going to give you kind of like a nitty gritty checklist that you can literally use to make sure that you are teaching your brain how to practice ease versus teaching your brain to practice hard. And it's kind of like learning how to speak the language of ease that your nervous system is looking to learn, not just your mind. So we're going to distinguish between those two things. But I'm going to go ahead and just dive on in. So I know it's April of twenty twenty four right now when I'm recording this, but I want to flash back to the holiday season of two thousand and eight through twenty thirteen, and so back in what really seems like a former lifetime. When I own my own fitness studio for women, I used to offer this thing called a twenty eight day Holiday Body Challenge, and so every single year, what would happen is fifty or so women would sign up to work with me during you know that tricky time of year between Halloween and New Year's while I guided them through the process of you know, I'm putting this in air quotes, but dropping pounds fast or getting in their skinny genes by New Year's or getting rid of that muffin top or whatever words I was using in my marketing at the time, right And so for the record, I'm no, I'm not proud of that, but it's just who I was at the time, and I didn't know what I didn't know, and I used to punish myself more or less for you know, passing on the diet mentality to other women, but I've reconciled that shame now and here I am, and I believe I'm using it for good. But back to this holiday challenge. Okay, So no, it wasn't rocket science. I would just put them on a calorie restricted meal plan and have them come to my personal training studio or my fitness studio at least three times a week to work out, and then we would strategically use the holiday so things like Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day as a cheat day. And again I'm putting that in air quotes, and I know I don't like to use words like cheat anymore, but again I didn't know what I didn't know, and those were the words that I was using, right, And so, of course, as you do when you're in that weight loss challenge mode, we took pictures and measurements and body fat percentages to measure their progress. And so, as you can probably imagine, you know, pounds were dropped and physiques were chiseled, and body shaping happened right before our very eyes. And yeah, it all worked until it didn't work anymore, right, And so things were great for thirty days or six weeks, But what happened after that Well, that's the part that my own shame and fear of failure really didn't allow me to share for a long time.
Because the truth is is.
That come January first, that dreaded bounce back effect was already in full force. Okay, they had grown tired of eking out the energy to monitor and count and measure and track every morsel of food that touched their lips, and their bodies were exhausted. They were sore and overtrained and in need of some major recovery after the literal and metaphorical sprint that they just participated in. But also their mojo was shot, like they just spent all of that time and energy using their limited stores of willpower and motivation to keep things going for that few weeks that they were there, that by the time the new year struck, they had officially nothing left to give, right, and their mindsets were starting to bounce back to whatever their default was, and oftentimes it was that good, bad, black, white in out all or nothing thought process that was perpetuating their problems in the first place. And so yes, I'm sharing examples from the holiday season, but the problem that I'm talking about here is this year round thing right, and looking back, I know exactly why it happened to Okay, we only made over part of them. We didn't do what needed to be done on the inside, like the headwork, addressing the actual problem, addressing the right problem, I should say, and creating actual brain change. We never address the cause of their struggles, their relationship with food, their relationship with their body. We just essentially threw another diet, another plan, and another short term band aid at the bigger problem. And so here's what inevitably happened as a result. Okay, the change was temporary and to be on, they always had to be on, like they were playing a game of all or nothing, and they were either in or they were out, and we were addressing the symptoms and never addressed the causes going on upstream in their brain. So think about it once all of that, you know, go hard or go home kind of motivational.
Raw raw wears off.
We all go back to our own default thinking, in our own default way of living in habits, because we are creatures of habit and like that part really is just science, right, And boy oh boy, the truth that I'm sharing today costs me a lot of shame and heartache.
And again the truth was, I didn't know what I didn't know.
But in reality, this was some of the most valuable experimentation that I ever conducted, because here's what I discovered as a result. Some of my clients really only did need to change their diet or start exercising more, or just be mindful of what they were eating. And so for some of those women work out in nutrition programs, that was enough to completely change their life forever, right, But most of them needed more. Most of them were being held back by something bigger, and most of them were caught up in the same up down, short term you know roller coaster that I had been stuck on for decades, And it's that same roller coaster that kept me feeling like a slave to dieting and a slave to working out harder, faster more. And just like me, none of them really had a food problem per se, or a motivation problem. It was a thinking problem. It was the kind of thinking that they downloaded, they developed. It was a language that they learned to speak, and more specifically, it was the diet mentality language that was causing and perpetuating the problem. And so that all or nothing, black white up down roller coaster was the problem. But again, if you think that that's normal, or you think that that's something that you want to keep getting good at, you keep getting back on it, back on it, back on it until you realize that that's the real problem. But when you're in it, when you're on it, it feels like you can't ever get off of it, or if you do, you just become terrified that you're going to go, you know, gain a bunch of weight or go off this metaphorical deep end. And either way, what happens is you end up just feeling like a slave to it, like you are a hostage. It controls you, It controls your life more than you do. And so we've talked about this a lot on this podcast, and the fact that you're never going to be able to outdiet or out willpower or outsmart your relationship with food, like never, it's not going to be able to happen, and trying to address your internal struggles or the current wiring in your brain that's causing you to think and act and feel and behave the way that you currently are around food or just feel about your body, and trying to combat that with another diet or another exercise program.
I mean it with so much love, but it really is just a recipe for failure.
Like I can flat out guarantee that that will not solve the bigger problem because again, you'll never be able to outwill power or outsmart your current relationship with food, your current relationship with your body, and really until you swim upstream. And I'm putting that in air quotes because what I really mean is I'm pointing to the brain, the nervous system, the source of the problem, and really go address your relationship with food and the wiring in your brain and go heal that. Diets will end and they will fail you, and not because you're a failure, but they set you up to fail because your brain will never get good at them, and you're going to stay stuck on that all or nothing diet roller coaster because the solution does not live in another diet or program or plan.
And trust me, like I wish it did.
At one point in time, I try to outdiet and outwill my food struggles and the sugar addictions that I realized were not really sugar addiction. It was just I practiced a thought process and a pattern of it was more like a recipe of thoughts and beliefs and behaviors that made me feel like I was addicted to sugar, and that's what I was practicing for decades. But bottom line, you can't outdiet that it will never get healed from a diet or a losing weight or a workout program, because you'll just bring the old thinking with you, which is really that definition of insanity, you know, doing the same thing over and over and again and expecting a different result. But when you change what you are seeing, and when I say seeing, I mean seeing in you, when you're what you're seeing when it comes to what you think food will like, the void that it will or will not fill, right, and what you're saying to yourself and about yourself. So when you see what when you change what you're seeing and saying to yourself and about yourself, which is really the self image and the identity. But then also, yeah, you do need a better strategy and system of thinking around food because the whole eat less move more calories in, calories out thing. That's a logic and reason solution to a deeper emotional struggle. Right, But when you change all of that and yes, get a better strategy. That is when the diet madness, or the body dysmorphia, or the toxic disordered relationship with food can finally come to an end and the real healing can begin.
But when you change all of that and yes.
Get a better strategy, that is when the diet madness, or the body dysmorphia, or the toxic disordered relationship with food can finally come to an end and the real healing can begin. And so that's the part where it's like, okay, Leanne, simple, not easy, especially if I've been practicing this my whole life. And that's where you know, it's like, okay, is there a catch? It's the number one thing I hear when people are like, Leanne, I don't even know if that's possible.
Is there a catch? And there is a catch.
And it's really like a catch twenty two more and more so, I should say, and I call it the catch twenty two of dieting because I've never met a woman that struggles with food or struggles with her body that isn't absolutely one thousand percent sick and tired of dieting right, or sick and tired of constantly weighing and measuring and calculating because that's what she thinks will keep her in control, or sick of, you know, stressing and guessing and obsessing over every morsel of food that touches her lips or her weight, right, and then of course, like you can't help but be sick of all of the judgment and the self criticism and the self loathing, and don't even get me started on the shame, like the shame prison that that keeps you in, and then of course getting sick of valuing yourself based on how much you weigh or how much you ate that day, and sick of absolutely living in a prison, right, a prison that is, it's a body prison, it's a food prison, it's an emotional prison that when you're in it, you don't even know how to get out of it because it seems like it just seems normal. And so when I talk to women about what they're currently doing to address all of those struggles that I just mentioned, ironically, dieting is the number one thing I hear, or controlling themselves more is the number one thing I hear. And so what's happening is, you know, when you're in that cycle, like I said, it feels impossible to get out of it. You're actively voting on the thing that you hate and actively choosing the thing that's keeping you stuck in the prison, and actively choosing something that you've probably identified hasn't worked and isn't working, and if you get really honest with yourself, you know will never work. And that's why I call it a catch twenty two because first of all, there's absolutely no shame and no judgment around this whatsoever, Like this is the cycle that I was stuck in for decades, And of course there's nothing but love and compassion for those of you if you're listening to this and you're stuck on that same up and down roller coaster.
But it absolutely stinks, right and it is a prison.
And that's why I'm simply here to just point it out and shed some awareness and hopefully just shine a light on this catch twenty two that a lot of women don't even realize they have become entangled in. Importantly, it's really an invitation, because that's what this podcast is all about. We're here for just weekly doses of inspiration and motivation, but also an invitation, like what if instead of committing to another diet or another quick fix. You first identified and got really clear on what's not working right, and you created an awareness of what not to do more of and the road to not keep going down. Like what if that was the first step, right, instead of committing to another thing or to do or you know, do this, eat this.
Don't eat that. It's like, no, I am going to just draw that line on the stand.
And stop committing to all the things that I know don't work and not witness myself trying to commit to something that I know will never work. And that's when you can get really curious about your struggles instead of keeping you in them, and you can identify what's not working instead of going down the roads that aren't working. Like that's a big difference too, Like, and what if that was the game plan?
And again, I know that might not sound as sexy as you know.
Oh, I've got to get into action action action, because it's not a game plan.
There's no action steps.
It's not like a go get them tiger, let's raw rah and hustle, right, It's really just an awareness and thought and mindfulness and insight and a decision to stop going down the roads that you.
Know won't ever work.
And so when you commit to just stopping the insanity, what thoughts does that spark in your beautiful brain?
Right?
And that's really what we're here to do today is help you shift the thinking that's causing your current results and outcomes. And if you're listening to this podcast, it's probably because you know the subject of health or what to eat or what not to eat, or food or your body, they are eluding you, right, And if you're stuck in the prison or feeling like a prisoner to you know, gaining and losing and gaining and losing, or feeling obsessed over that loss or that gain, or simply stuck in the black white, all or nothing binge restrict roller coaster, or if you're like me and you are just falling through the cracks because maybe you don't fit neat and tidy into a category of a typical eating disorder. That was for me, I was just like, Okay, if I don't have an eating disorder, what is this? It felt like a gray area, right, And that gray area can make you feel.
Very stuck and alone.
But that's why it's so important to just have these conversations like to get really real and yeah, I mean, you can play the diet game and you can play it over and over again and never break the cycle. Or you can do what we're doing right here, which is to change your thinking and get really real about the problem that's causing the struggles so that you can break out of the definition of insanity. But that being said, and I mean this with so much love, and I hope you're taking it with the love that I mean it. If you want to do differently, you do have to think differently, and you have to break the cycle of insanity and not fool yourself into thinking like, oh maybe one day control, restrict, deprive, you know, obsess over my food, over food and my weight will actually work, because I'm telling you, it will just create more of the obsession.
And here's the thing.
Most women, unfortunately, I mean, they won't stop and do this, or they don't think that this work is sexy. It's not as sexy as lose twenty pounds and twenty minutes, you know.
What I mean.
And a lot of women will just go look for the next game of control or the next action item. But those of you that do that, stop the definition of insanity you're going to find that your journey to healing and to finally ending the suffering and struggling can actually begin. And so, coming back to the question at the top of this episode of like, does it ever get easier?
And so the short.
Answer is yes if you practice ease, and the short answer is no if you practice hard. And so we're going to get into the nitty gritty of what I mean by that and what that looks like specifically next week, and I'm literally going to give you a checklist of what your brain and your nervous system dictates as hard and easy so that you can, like, you know, use it as kind of a check in with yourself to make sure that you're teaching your brain ease as opposed to taking it down the dead end road of practicing hard. Okay, So I hope today's conversation simply opened your eyes, or maybe just played some seeds, or sometimes we just need a mirror to be held up to us to realize, Okay, what I'm doing is not working and it's not going to create happiness, and it's actually out voting health and out voting happiness. And that's the conversation I needed to have and so if that's all you needed today, then I'm glad that you got that. But we are going to be back next week with more of the nitty gritty and some actionable steps that you can take in the meantime, If you do want to learn more about how to turn off the part of your brain that's obsessed with food or obsessed with your weight and really rewire your own brain for peace and freedom, then head on over to stressless eeating dot com and just sign up to watch the Stressless Eating sneak preview where I've literally peeled back. It's really the system that I teach my clients to heal themselves of the all or nothing diet mentality for good, but without restriction and punishing your body, and definitely without having to use words like Macro's or low carb or calorie count.
Right. So it's all there for.
You, easy to access over at stress life eating dot com and if you like outweigh, I actually have another podcast here on iheartwhere I talk about all of this self image and body image stuff but from the perspective of where brain science intersex faith okay, and so it's called What's God Got to Do with It? And You can access it here on iHeart or wherever you get your podcast. So that is it for today. I am Leanne Ellington and I will talk to you soon. Bye.
