On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Laurie Santos. Laurie is most known for her Yale course “Psychology and the Good Life”. 



We discussed how our minds are sucky, and lie to us constantly. Laurie reminds us that external accolades will never bring long-term happiness, and that strong social connections are what we should be aiming for. 

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Laurie Santos. Laurie is most known for her Yale course “Psychology and the Good Life”. 
 
We discussed how our minds are sucky, and lie to us constantly. Laurie reminds us that external accolades will never bring long-term happiness, and that strong social connections are what we should be aiming for.

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.

I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Laurie Santos. Laurie is most known for her Yale course “Psychology and the Good Life”. 

 

We discussed how our minds are sucky, and lie to us constantly. Laurie reminds us that external accolades will never bring long-term happiness, and that strong social connections are what we should be aiming for.

Laurie Santos: ON Teaching The Most Popular Class at Yale University

Jay sits down with singer-songwriter Noah Kahan to break down the pressure that comes after “making it” - the imposter syndrome, the constant comparison, and the fear of losing it all. Noah shares how music became his escape from anxiety growing up, what it felt like to finally land the record deal he dreamed of, and why success didn’t silence the doubt, it amplified it.

Jay and Noah unpack the myth of the “tortured artist,” and the quiet fear that healing might take away what makes you creative. Noah opens up about his recent OCD diagnosis, how he let go of the belief that he had to suffer for his art, and what it took to find his voice again without relying on pain. Noah speaks candidly about his struggles with body dysmorphia and the unexpected therapy of creating his documentary. Together they explore what it means to find balance and to stop performing for the world so you can finally be seen by the people who matter most.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Stop Defining Your Worth by Your Work 

How to Face Your Unseen Fears Through Therapy 

How to Stay Present When Life Feels Overwhelming 

How to Extract Lessons from Painful Feedback 

How to Handle the Fear of Losing Your Success 

How to Stay Grounded Between Praise and Criticism  

How to Prioritize Your Time Over the Endless Grind

Whether you are navigating a major life transition or simply trying to find your footing in a loud world, remember that your self-worth is not a mathematical equation based on your latest achievement.

No one should have to navigate their mental health journey alone. Join Noah in the mission to prove that the more we share our stories, the more we empower others to do the same. Visit: https://www.busyheadproject.org/ 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe  

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:54 Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of Others 

04:39 The Childhood Memory That Defined My Career 

05:42 Middle Child Energy and the Need to Be Heard 

06:57 Music Was My Only Plan A 

08:44 The Disconnect Between Fitting In and Being Genuine  

11:09 Expressing Yourself Without Giving Yourself Away 

14:05 Songwriting: The Constant Search for a Simpler Life 

17:25 Every Creative Process Is Different 

18:52 When What You Do Becomes Who You Are 

24:07 The Power of Journaling Your Lessons 

27:05 Does Healing Kill Creativity? 

29:48 My Biggest Regret in Communicating with Family 

32:43 The Vulnerability of Filming Your Private Life 

36:32 Healing and Finding Peace as a Family 

43:51 Has Success Made Mental Health Harder or Better? 

46:19 The Honest Truth about Body Dysmorphia 

52:09 Living and Dying by Your Own Honesty 

57:40 The Difference Between Going to Therapy and Doing Therapy 

01:00:24 Do You Secretly Find Comfort in Your Pain? 

01:02:01 Re-evaluating What Truly Matters After Success 

01:05:59 Finding the Strength to Believe in Yourself 

01:11:04 Protecting Your Heart While Taking Criticism

01:14:06 Stability Rooted in Love and Marriage

01:20:48 Would You Rather?

01:22:55 Gut Reaction

01:25:46 Noah on Final Five  

Episode Resources:

Website | https://noahkahan.com/ 

YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/c/NoahKahan 

Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/noahkahanmusic 

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/noahkahanmusic/ 

TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@noahkahanmusic 

X | https://x.com/NoahKahan

Jay sits down with singer-songwriter Noah Kahan to break down the pressure that comes after &ldquo;making it&rdquo; - the imposter syndrome, the constant comparison, and the fear of losing it all. Noah shares how music became his escape from anxiety growing up, what it felt like to finally land the record deal he dreamed of, and why success didn&rsquo;t silence the doubt, it amplified it.
Jay and Noah unpack the myth of the &ldquo;tortured artist,&rdquo; and the quiet fear that healing might take away what makes you creative. Noah opens up about his recent OCD diagnosis, how he let go of the belief that he had to suffer for his art, and what it took to find his voice again without relying on pain. Noah speaks candidly about his struggles with body dysmorphia and the unexpected therapy of creating his documentary. Together they explore what it means to find balance and to stop performing for the world so you can finally be seen by the people who matter most.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Stop Defining Your Worth by Your Work&nbsp;
How to Face Your Unseen Fears Through Therapy&nbsp;
How to Stay Present When Life Feels Overwhelming&nbsp;
How to Extract Lessons from Painful Feedback&nbsp;
How to Handle the Fear of Losing Your Success&nbsp;
How to Stay Grounded Between Praise and Criticism&nbsp;&nbsp;
How to Prioritize Your Time Over the Endless Grind
Whether you are navigating a major life transition or simply trying to find your footing in a loud world, remember that your self-worth is not a mathematical equation based on your latest achievement.
No one should have to navigate their mental health journey alone. Join Noah in the mission to prove that the more we share our stories, the more we empower others to do the same. Visit: <a href="https://www.busyheadproject.org/">https://www.busyheadproject.org/</a>&nbsp;
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY&rsquo;S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe</a> &nbsp;
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! <a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast">https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:54 Seeing Yourself Through the Eyes of Others&nbsp;
04:39 The Childhood Memory That Defined My Career&nbsp;
05:42 Middle Child Energy and the Need to Be Heard&nbsp;
06:57 Music Was My Only Plan A&nbsp;
08:44 The Disconnect Between Fitting In and Being Genuine&nbsp;&nbsp;
11:09 Expressing Yourself Without Giving Yourself Away&nbsp;
14:05 Songwriting: The Constant Search for a Simpler Life&nbsp;
17:25 Every Creative Process Is Different&nbsp;
18:52 When What You Do Becomes Who You Are&nbsp;
24:07 The Power of Journaling Your Lessons&nbsp;
27:05 Does Healing Kill Creativity?&nbsp;
29:48 My Biggest Regret in Communicating with Family&nbsp;
32:43 The Vulnerability of Filming Your Private Life&nbsp;
36:32 Healing and Finding Peace as a Family&nbsp;
43:51 Has Success Made Mental Health Harder or Better?&nbsp;
46:19 The Honest Truth about Body Dysmorphia&nbsp;
52:09 Living and Dying by Your Own Honesty&nbsp;
57:40 The Difference Between Going to Therapy and Doing Therapy&nbsp;
01:00:24 Do You Secretly Find Comfort in Your Pain?&nbsp;
01:02:01 Re-evaluating What Truly Matters After Success&nbsp;
01:05:59 Finding the Strength to Believe in Yourself&nbsp;
01:11:04 Protecting Your Heart While Taking Criticism
01:14:06 Stability Rooted in Love and Marriage
01:20:48 Would You Rather?
01:22:55 Gut Reaction
01:25:46 Noah on Final Five&nbsp;&nbsp;
Episode Resources:
Website | <a href="https://noahkahan.com/">https://noahkahan.com/</a>&nbsp;
YouTube | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/c/NoahKahan">https://www.youtube.com/c/NoahKahan</a>&nbsp;
Facebook | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/noahkahanmusic">https://www.facebook.com/noahkahanmusic</a>&nbsp;
Instagram | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/noahkahanmusic/">https://www.instagram.com/noahkahanmusic/</a>&nbsp;
TikTok | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@noahkahanmusic">https://www.tiktok.com/@noahkahanmusic</a>&nbsp;
X | <a href="https://x.com/NoahKahan">https://x.com/NoahKahan</a>

NOAH KAHAN: Imposter Syndrome, Anxiety & The Pressure of Success (What He’s Never Shared Before)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/a8ac16d0-769a-4aa2-b612-b424005f6917/transcript

Today, Jay shares how, before we even get out of bed, our minds are already filled with worries, quiet anxieties, and thoughts we didn’t choose. Instead of intentionally creating our day, most of us unknowingly inherit stress from yesterday. Drawing on both modern neuroscience and ancient wisdom traditions, Jay reframes the morning not as a routine, but as the foundation of our mental “operating system”, a critical window where our thoughts shape how we experience the next 16 hours.

Rather than relying on empty affirmations, Jay offers a more grounded, evidence-based approach rooted in how the brain actually works. He explains how our minds are most programmable in the early morning, when emotions are heightened and our critical thinking is still waking up. This creates a rare opportunity to interrupt automatic patterns, reset our focus, and consciously direct our attention before the world begins to pull us in different directions.

In this episode you'll learn:

How to Take Control of Your Mind First Thing in the Morning

How to Stop Inheriting Anxiety Each Day

How to Rewire Your Thoughts in Minutes

How to Protect Your Attention Early

How to Measure Your Day with Purpose Not Productivity 

Every morning is a quiet reset, an opportunity that doesn’t ask for perfection, only intention. You don’t need to have everything figured out, and you don’t need to feel ready. 

SpringFest is happening now, and our best lineup is here at Lowe’s. Visit: https://www.lowes.com/ 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:26 Your Morning Is Programming the Rest of Your Day

04:17 The Creator's Hour

08:48 #1: I Am Awake Before My Problems

12:29 #2: I Am Not Yesterday

15:17 #3: Today I Direct My Attention

18:40 #4: I Won't Try to Solve Problems That Haven't Happened Yet

21:48 #5: My Body Isn't a Vehicle For My Head

25:14 #6: I Focus on What Matters Most, Not What Feels Urgent

28:25 #7: I Measure Today by Who I Am, Not Just What I Achieve

Today, Jay shares how, before we even get out of bed, our minds are already filled with worries, quiet anxieties, and thoughts we didn&rsquo;t choose. Instead of intentionally creating our day, most of us unknowingly inherit stress from yesterday. Drawing on both modern neuroscience and ancient wisdom traditions, Jay reframes the morning not as a routine, but as the foundation of our mental &ldquo;operating system&rdquo;, a critical window where our thoughts shape how we experience the next 16 hours.
Rather than relying on empty affirmations, Jay offers a more grounded, evidence-based approach rooted in how the brain actually works. He explains how our minds are most programmable in the early morning, when emotions are heightened and our critical thinking is still waking up. This creates a rare opportunity to interrupt automatic patterns, reset our focus, and consciously direct our attention before the world begins to pull us in different directions.
In this episode you'll learn:
How to Take Control of Your Mind First Thing in the Morning
How to Stop Inheriting Anxiety Each Day
How to Rewire Your Thoughts in Minutes
How to Protect Your Attention Early
How to Measure Your Day with Purpose Not Productivity&nbsp;
Every morning is a quiet reset, an opportunity that doesn&rsquo;t ask for perfection, only intention. You don&rsquo;t need to have everything figured out, and you don&rsquo;t need to feel ready.&nbsp;
SpringFest is happening now, and our best lineup is here at Lowe&rsquo;s. Visit: <a href="https://www.lowes.com/">https://www.lowes.com/</a>&nbsp;
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY&rsquo;S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:26 Your Morning Is Programming the Rest of Your Day
04:17 The Creator's Hour
08:48 #1: I Am Awake Before My Problems
12:29 #2: I Am Not Yesterday
15:17 #3: Today I Direct My Attention
18:40 #4: I Won't Try to Solve Problems That Haven't Happened Yet
21:48 #5: My Body Isn't a Vehicle For My Head
25:14 #6: I Focus on What Matters Most, Not What Feels Urgent
28:25 #7: I Measure Today by Who I Am, Not Just What I Achieve

7 Things to Tell Yourself Every Morning (Follow This Simple Morning Reset to Calm Your Mind Before the Day Begins)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/55e495e1-75ec-47d7-bde2-b42100620095/transcript

In this special live conversation at the Orpheum Theatre in Vancouver, Canada, Jay sits down with renowned physician and trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté for a deeply moving exploration of identity, healing, and the hidden patterns that shape our lives. Gabor explains that our obsession with how others perceive us often begins in childhood, when our fundamental need to be seen and understood isn’t fully met. In response, many people unconsciously adapt, hiding parts of themselves or becoming who they think others want them to be in order to feel accepted and loved.

In this episode you'll Learn:

How to Stop Living for Others’ Approval

How to Break Generational Trauma Patterns

How to Know If You’re Living Your True Life

How to Stop Tying Your Worth to Productivity

How to Recognize When Stress Is Hurting You

How to Listen to Your Inner Voice Again

How to Start Saying “No” Without Feeling Guilty

How to Practice Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Criticism

How to Turn Your Past Coping Patterns Into Healing

How to Ask the Question That Changes Your Life

Real change doesn’t come from forcing yourself to be perfect or trying to fix everything overnight. It begins with small moments of awareness, pausing long enough to listen to that quiet inner voice, asking honest questions about what feels true for you, and giving yourself permission to honor it. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe 

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:41 Why Do We Care So Much About Others’ Opinions?

03:10 Learning to Love People the Way They Need

04:53 How Childhood Shapes Our Need for Approval

06:46 The Dangerous Belief: “I’m Only Valuable If…”

11:02 Why Do We Feel Guilty When We Rest?

12:37 What Stress Is Really Doing to Your Brain and Body

16:19 Saying “No” Is Essential for Your Wellbeing 

21:05 The Power of Asking Yourself Honest Questions

23:44 How to Listen to Your Gut Again

29:52 A Live Compassionate Inquiry Session

33:23 Your Healing Is Helping Your Children

35:08 Trusting the Wisdom Already Inside You

36:53 Your Coping Mechanisms Aren’t Failures

40:11 Turning Past Mistakes Into Lessons

41:45 Balancing Self-Improvement and Self-Acceptance

47:54 The Question That Can Change Your Life

Episode Resources:

Website | https://drgabormate.com/ 

YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsRF06lSFA8zV9L8_x9jzIA 

Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/drgabormate 

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/gabormatemd/ 

X | https://x.com/drgabormate

In this special live conversation at the Orpheum Theatre in Vancouver, Canada, Jay sits down with renowned physician and trauma expert Dr. Gabor Mat&eacute; for a deeply moving exploration of identity, healing, and the hidden patterns that shape our lives. Gabor explains that our obsession with how others perceive us often begins in childhood, when our fundamental need to be seen and understood isn&rsquo;t fully met. In response, many people unconsciously adapt, hiding parts of themselves or becoming who they think others want them to be in order to feel accepted and loved.
In this episode you'll Learn:
How to Stop Living for Others&rsquo; Approval
How to Break Generational Trauma Patterns
How to Know If You&rsquo;re Living Your True Life
How to Stop Tying Your Worth to Productivity
How to Recognize When Stress Is Hurting You
How to Listen to Your Inner Voice Again
How to Start Saying &ldquo;No&rdquo; Without Feeling Guilty
How to Practice Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Criticism
How to Turn Your Past Coping Patterns Into Healing
How to Ask the Question That Changes Your Life
Real change doesn&rsquo;t come from forcing yourself to be perfect or trying to fix everything overnight. It begins with small moments of awareness, pausing long enough to listen to that quiet inner voice, asking honest questions about what feels true for you, and giving yourself permission to honor it.&nbsp;
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY&rsquo;S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe</a> &nbsp;
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! <a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast">https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:41 Why Do We Care So Much About Others&rsquo; Opinions?
03:10 Learning to Love People the Way They Need
04:53 How Childhood Shapes Our Need for Approval
06:46 The Dangerous Belief: &ldquo;I&rsquo;m Only Valuable If&hellip;&rdquo;
11:02 Why Do We Feel Guilty When We Rest?
12:37 What Stress Is Really Doing to Your Brain and Body
16:19 Saying &ldquo;No&rdquo; Is Essential for Your Wellbeing&nbsp;
21:05 The Power of Asking Yourself Honest Questions
23:44 How to Listen to Your Gut Again
29:52 A Live Compassionate Inquiry Session
33:23 Your Healing Is Helping Your Children
35:08 Trusting the Wisdom Already Inside You
36:53 Your Coping Mechanisms Aren&rsquo;t Failures
40:11 Turning Past Mistakes Into Lessons
41:45 Balancing Self-Improvement and Self-Acceptance
47:54 The Question That Can Change Your Life
Episode Resources:
Website | <a href="https://drgabormate.com/">https://drgabormate.com/</a>&nbsp;
YouTube | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsRF06lSFA8zV9L8_x9jzIA">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsRF06lSFA8zV9L8_x9jzIA</a>&nbsp;
Facebook | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/drgabormate">https://www.facebook.com/drgabormate</a>&nbsp;
Instagram | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/gabormatemd/">https://www.instagram.com/gabormatemd/</a>&nbsp;
X | <a href="https://x.com/drgabormate">https://x.com/drgabormate</a>

Dr. Gabor Maté: Constantly Worrying What People Think of You? (THIS Simple Shift Will Help You Trust Yourself and Stop Seeking Approval)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/8718d5c7-a5c3-441f-8442-b41f005db1af/transcript

Laurie Santos: ON Teaching The Most Popular Class at Yale University

In 1 playlist(s)

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Social links

Follow podcast

Recent clips