On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Laurie Santos. Laurie is most known for her Yale course “Psychology and the Good Life”. 



We discussed how our minds are sucky, and lie to us constantly. Laurie reminds us that external accolades will never bring long-term happiness, and that strong social connections are what we should be aiming for. 

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Laurie Santos. Laurie is most known for her Yale course “Psychology and the Good Life”. 
 
We discussed how our minds are sucky, and lie to us constantly. Laurie reminds us that external accolades will never bring long-term happiness, and that strong social connections are what we should be aiming for.

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.

I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Laurie Santos. Laurie is most known for her Yale course “Psychology and the Good Life”. 

 

We discussed how our minds are sucky, and lie to us constantly. Laurie reminds us that external accolades will never bring long-term happiness, and that strong social connections are what we should be aiming for.

Laurie Santos: ON Teaching The Most Popular Class at Yale University

What drains your energy the most?



How do you deal with toxic behaviors?



Today, Jay tackles a topic we can all relate to – dealing with those challenging family members and coworkers who add a little extra stress to our lives, especially as the holiday season rolls around. If you’re already bracing yourself for gatherings with people who seem to bring more tension than joy, Jay’s got you covered. He dives into why certain people fall into negative or toxic patterns, breaking down types like the pessimist, the complainer, the eternal victim, the energy drainer, and the “just good enough” person. Jay’s perspective sheds light on how these behaviors aren’t really who they are at their core but are often habits born from past hurts or unmet needs.

Jay doesn’t just stop at explaining, though – he shares some really practical, relatable tips on how to navigate these tough dynamics without letting them throw you off balance. He talks about ways to respond with empathy, set emotional boundaries, and even gently redirect conversations when they start to drag you down. 

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Handle Toxic Family Members at Gatherings

How to Protect Your Peace Around Negative People

How to Set Boundaries with Draining Coworkers

How to Turn Negative Conversations Around

How to Recognize Negative Patterns in Loved Ones

How to Stop Taking Toxic Comments Personally

You can’t always change someone else’s behavior, but you can protect your own joy and keep a positive outlook. So, as you head into those family gatherings or work meetings, just remember to stay grounded and prioritize your well-being – you deserve it!

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:24 How Do You Deal with Toxic People?

03:26 What Makes a Person Negative or Toxic?

04:34 Type 1: The Pessimist

06:06 Type 2: The Complainer

08:05 Type 3: The Eternal Victim

10:19 Type 4: The “Just Good Enough”

13:19 Some Toxic Behavior is Meant to Protect You

15:13 Tips and Strategies to Deal with Toxicity

17:12 Tip 1: Try to Understand Their Story

19:01 Tip 2: The Negativity Begins with Themselves

22:47 Tip 3: Respond with a Reflective Remark

24:05 Tip 4: Create Distance and Boundaries

What drains your energy the most?
 
How do you deal with toxic behaviors?
 
Today, Jay tackles a topic we can all relate to – dealing with those challenging family members and coworkers who add a little extra stress to our lives, especially as the holiday season rolls around. If you’re already bracing yourself for gatherings with people who seem to bring more tension than joy, Jay’s got you covered. He dives into why certain people fall into negative or toxic patterns, breaking down types like the pessimist, the complainer, the eternal victim, the energy drainer, and the “just good enough” person. Jay’s perspective sheds light on how these behaviors aren’t really who they are at their core but are often habits born from past hurts or unmet needs.
Jay doesn’t just stop at explaining, though – he shares some really practical, relatable tips on how to navigate these tough dynamics without letting them throw you off balance. He talks about ways to respond with empathy, set emotional boundaries, and even gently redirect conversations when they start to drag you down. 
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Handle Toxic Family Members at Gatherings
How to Protect Your Peace Around Negative People
How to Set Boundaries with Draining Coworkers
How to Turn Negative Conversations Around
How to Recognize Negative Patterns in Loved Ones
How to Stop Taking Toxic Comments Personally
You can’t always change someone else’s behavior, but you can protect your own joy and keep a positive outlook. So, as you head into those family gatherings or work meetings, just remember to stay grounded and prioritize your well-being – you deserve it!
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:24 How Do You Deal with Toxic People?
03:26 What Makes a Person Negative or Toxic?
04:34 Type 1: The Pessimist
06:06 Type 2: The Complainer
08:05 Type 3: The Eternal Victim
10:19 Type 4: The “Just Good Enough”
13:19 Some Toxic Behavior is Meant to Protect You
15:13 Tips and Strategies to Deal with Toxicity
17:12 Tip 1: Try to Understand Their Story
19:01 Tip 2: The Negativity Begins with Themselves
22:47 Tip 3: Respond with a Reflective Remark
24:05 Tip 4: Create Distance and Boundaries

4 Types of Toxic People in Your Life & 4 Tools to Stop Letting Them Drain You

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/58481219-cb54-4983-8518-b230002877c3/transcript

Have you ever felt stuck in a negative relationship cycle?



Have you ever struggled with setting boundaries in your relationships?

Today, Jay welcomes back a community favorite, the renowned psychotherapist, bestselling author, and podcast host Lori Gottlieb, for an insightful chat about love, relationships, and emotional growth. Lori, best known for her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and as co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, brings her deep wisdom and practical advice that really hits home with listeners.

Lori shares how people often step into love with unrealistic expectations, thanks to social media and pop culture. She reminds us that while the spark of initial chemistry is thrilling, true, long-lasting love thrives on a deeper connection and genuine understanding. One of the highlights is Lori’s take on “idiot compassion” versus “wise compassion.” She breaks down how real compassion means looking at ourselves honestly, recognizing our patterns, and owning our part in the relationship. This is essential for anyone feeling trapped in negative cycles.

As the conversation unfolds, Jay and Lori dive into family dynamics, especially around in-laws and blending families. Lori offers practical tips on how to support your relationship while still showing respect for parents, pointing out that these challenges are usually a couple's issues, not just external ones.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

How to Practice Wise Compassion

How to Break Negative Patterns

How to Handle Pressure to Rush Relationships

How to Prioritize Clear Communication

How to Avoid Pop Culture Relationship Pitfalls

How to Cultivate Emotional Resilience

Remember, true connection flourishes when we commit to growth, communicate openly, and remain empathetic to both ourselves and others. Every step taken toward understanding and compassion brings you closer to creating a life filled with genuine, lasting connections.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:29 What is Everyone Doing at My Age?
05:08 Why Doing Self Work Matters
08:40 Why You Need to Slow Down to Save Time
13:03 How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship
17:03 First Date Impressions Aren’t Always Accurate
21:26 How Do You Define Real Human Connection?
24:33 Do You Fully Understand Your Partner?
28:24 Learn to Communicate Your Desires
31:26 This is What Happens When You Don’t Communicate
35:24 Why We’re Unreliable Narrators of Our Story
37:52 Be Consistent with Your Boundaries
42:36 We All Want to Be Liked
45:46 You’re Not Ready to Marry Yet
49:51 Practice Being Your True Self All the Time
52:36 The Blind Spots of Dating
57:08 The Truth About Future Tripping
01:00:10 How Do You Feel About the Other Person?
01:01:33 The 7-Year Mark of Marriages
01:03:50 Can Having Children Save a Marriage?
01:07:35 In-Law Issues is a Couple Issue
01:12:01 The Concept of Feeling Felt
01:16:50 How Long Can You Tolerate Disrespect from Your Partner? 

Episode Resources:
Lori Gottlieb | YouTube
Lori Gottlieb | Instagram
Lori Gottlieb | Website
Dear Therapists Podcast
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Have you ever felt stuck in a negative relationship cycle?
 
Have you ever struggled with setting boundaries in your relationships?
Today, Jay welcomes back a community favorite, the renowned psychotherapist, bestselling author, and podcast host Lori Gottlieb, for an insightful chat about love, relationships, and emotional growth. Lori, best known for her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and as co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, brings her deep wisdom and practical advice that really hits home with listeners.
Lori shares how people often step into love with unrealistic expectations, thanks to social media and pop culture. She reminds us that while the spark of initial chemistry is thrilling, true, long-lasting love thrives on a deeper connection and genuine understanding. One of the highlights is Lori’s take on “idiot compassion” versus “wise compassion.” She breaks down how real compassion means looking at ourselves honestly, recognizing our patterns, and owning our part in the relationship. This is essential for anyone feeling trapped in negative cycles.
As the conversation unfolds, Jay and Lori dive into family dynamics, especially around in-laws and blending families. Lori offers practical tips on how to support your relationship while still showing respect for parents, pointing out that these challenges are usually a couple's issues, not just external ones.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations
How to Practice Wise Compassion
How to Break Negative Patterns
How to Handle Pressure to Rush Relationships
How to Prioritize Clear Communication
How to Avoid Pop Culture Relationship Pitfalls
How to Cultivate Emotional Resilience
Remember, true connection flourishes when we commit to growth, communicate openly, and remain empathetic to both ourselves and others. Every step taken toward understanding and compassion brings you closer to creating a life filled with genuine, lasting connections.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">00:00 Intro</li>
<li aria-level="1">02:29 What is Everyone Doing at My Age?</li>
<li aria-level="1">05:08 Why Doing Self Work Matters</li>
<li aria-level="1">08:40 Why You Need to Slow Down to Save Time</li>
<li aria-level="1">13:03 How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship</li>
<li aria-level="1">17:03 First Date Impressions Aren’t Always Accurate</li>
<li aria-level="1">21:26 How Do You Define Real Human Connection?</li>
<li aria-level="1">24:33 Do You Fully Understand Your Partner?</li>
<li aria-level="1">28:24 Learn to Communicate Your Desires</li>
<li aria-level="1">31:26 This is What Happens When You Don’t Communicate</li>
<li aria-level="1">35:24 Why We’re Unreliable Narrators of Our Story</li>
<li aria-level="1">37:52 Be Consistent with Your Boundaries</li>
<li aria-level="1">42:36 We All Want to Be Liked</li>
<li aria-level="1">45:46 You’re Not Ready to Marry Yet</li>
<li aria-level="1">49:51 Practice Being Your True Self All the Time</li>
<li aria-level="1">52:36 The Blind Spots of Dating</li>
<li aria-level="1">57:08 The Truth About Future Tripping</li>
<li aria-level="1">01:00:10 How Do You Feel About the Other Person?</li>
<li aria-level="1">01:01:33 The 7-Year Mark of Marriages</li>
<li aria-level="1">01:03:50 Can Having Children Save a Marriage?</li>
<li aria-level="1">01:07:35 In-Law Issues is a Couple Issue</li>
<li aria-level="1">01:12:01 The Concept of Feeling Felt</li>
<li aria-level="1">01:16:50 How Long Can You Tolerate Disrespect from Your Partner? </li>
</ul>
Episode Resources:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Lori Gottlieb | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiIETTq2It3OzW8_WYRPTyQ">YouTube</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Lori Gottlieb | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/lorigottlieb_author/">Instagram</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Lori Gottlieb | <a href="https://lorigottlieb.com/">Website</a></li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-therapists-with-lori-gottlieb-and-guy-winch/id1523340696">Dear Therapists Podcast</a></li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Should-Talk-Someone-Journal/dp/0358667216?ref_=ast_author_dp">Maybe You Should Talk to Someone</a></li>
</ul>

Lori Gottlieb: 7 Answers to Dating Questions You’re Afraid to Ask & How to Break Free from Relationship Timelines

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/10be90ed-66fb-4e83-9fc5-b22c0031fa19/transcript

Do you ever try focusing on just one thing at a time?

What’s one way you avoid distractions?

Today, Jay’s diving into a struggle we all know too well: distraction. If you’ve ever found yourself scrolling on your phone without even thinking about it, you’re definitely not alone. Jay breaks down why it’s so hard to stay focused in a world full of constant notifications and packed schedules. But this episode isn’t about making us feel guilty—instead, it’s about giving us simple, doable strategies to actually make focus easier.

Jay’s packed this episode with practical tips, like creating “no-phone zones” at home and setting tech-free times during the day to really be present. One of the standout strategies he shares is the Pomodoro Technique—working in short, focused bursts with breaks in between to keep your brain sharp and productive. Jay’s main message? Real productivity isn’t about doing more, faster—it’s about doing things better. He even shares some unique Ayurvedic advice, like chewing each bite 32 times (yes, really!) to emphasize how slowing down can improve our lives.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Slow Down for Better Productivity

How to Stay Present in Conversations

How to Find Calm by Unplugging

How to Build Stronger Focus Habits

How to Reclaim Your Attention

By setting intentional boundaries, slowing down, and practicing mindfulness, we can take back our attention in a way that enhances productivity, deepens our relationships, and brings peace to our daily lives. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:46 Have You Been Feeling More Distracted?

04:03 What Research Says About the Decline in Focus

06:12 Majority of Us Can’t Multitask

09:00 Doing Things Slower Makes Better Progress

11:43 #1: The Pomodoro Technique

13:38 #2: No Tech Zones, No Tech Times

15:56 #3: Go For a Walk, Stay Off Your Phone

20:34 #4: Finish What You Start

Do you ever try focusing on just one thing at a time?
What’s one way you avoid distractions?
Today, Jay’s diving into a struggle we all know too well: distraction. If you’ve ever found yourself scrolling on your phone without even thinking about it, you’re definitely not alone. Jay breaks down why it’s so hard to stay focused in a world full of constant notifications and packed schedules. But this episode isn’t about making us feel guilty—instead, it’s about giving us simple, doable strategies to actually make focus easier.
Jay’s packed this episode with practical tips, like creating “no-phone zones” at home and setting tech-free times during the day to really be present. One of the standout strategies he shares is the Pomodoro Technique—working in short, focused bursts with breaks in between to keep your brain sharp and productive. Jay’s main message? Real productivity isn’t about doing more, faster—it’s about doing things better. He even shares some unique Ayurvedic advice, like chewing each bite 32 times (yes, really!) to emphasize how slowing down can improve our lives.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Slow Down for Better Productivity
How to Stay Present in Conversations
How to Find Calm by Unplugging
How to Build Stronger Focus Habits
How to Reclaim Your Attention
By setting intentional boundaries, slowing down, and practicing mindfulness, we can take back our attention in a way that enhances productivity, deepens our relationships, and brings peace to our daily lives. 
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:46 Have You Been Feeling More Distracted?
04:03 What Research Says About the Decline in Focus
06:12 Majority of Us Can’t Multitask
09:00 Doing Things Slower Makes Better Progress
11:43 #1: The Pomodoro Technique
13:38 #2: No Tech Zones, No Tech Times
15:56 #3: Go For a Walk, Stay Off Your Phone
20:34 #4: Finish What You Start

4 Simple Habits to Boost Focus & Stop Getting Distracted

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/48348a7b-8b09-4061-ab8e-b229002b88b0/transcript

Laurie Santos: ON Teaching The Most Popular Class at Yale University

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