You love On Purpose because it inspires your life. Have you tried Jay’s Genius workshops and meditations to access even deeper well-being? Learn more at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius 

Gretchen is an “Upholder”. She views inner and outer expectations as helpful and ease to maintain. An “Upholder” is one of the four “Rubin Tendencies” outlined in Gretchen Rubin’s book The Four Tendencies.

On this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Jay talks with author and speaker Gretchen Rubin about how understanding your own personality tendency can help you become more successful at work, love and life. Grethcen is the vastly popular author of The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies. Take her Four Tendencies Quiz and let Jay and Gretchen know on Instagram which one you relate to most! PS. Jay is a rebel. 

Four Tendencies Quiz!: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/

You love On Purpose because it inspires your life. Have you tried Jay’s Genius workshops and meditations to access even deeper well-being? Learn more at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius 
Gretchen is an “Upholder”. She views inner and outer expectations as helpful and ease to maintain. An “Upholder” is one of the four “Rubin Tendencies” outlined in Gretchen Rubin’s book The Four Tendencies.
On this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Jay talks with author and speaker Gretchen Rubin about how understanding your own personality tendency can help you become more successful at work, love and life. Grethcen is the vastly popular author of The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies. Take her Four Tendencies Quiz and let Jay and Gretchen know on Instagram which one you relate to most! PS. Jay is a rebel. 
Four Tendencies Quiz!: <a href="https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/">https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/</a>

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.

I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

You love On Purpose because it inspires your life. Have you tried Jay’s Genius workshops and meditations to access even deeper well-being? Learn more at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius 

Gretchen is an “Upholder”. She views inner and outer expectations as helpful and ease to maintain. An “Upholder” is one of the four “Rubin Tendencies” outlined in Gretchen Rubin’s book The Four Tendencies.

On this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Jay talks with author and speaker Gretchen Rubin about how understanding your own personality tendency can help you become more successful at work, love and life. Grethcen is the vastly popular author of The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies. Take her Four Tendencies Quiz and let Jay and Gretchen know on Instagram which one you relate to most! PS. Jay is a rebel. 

Four Tendencies Quiz!: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/

Gretchen Rubin ON: How Understanding Your Habits Allows You to Thrive in Work, Love and Life

Jay is joined on stage at Boston’s Wang Theatre by his longtime friend Mel Robbins, in front of a packed live audience. Their shared history allows them to speak openly and honestly about the pressure to be liked, the fear of being misunderstood, and how easily we lose ourselves trying to meet other people’s expectations. Mel’s superpower is her ability to choose herself in moments when giving up or staying small feels safer.

Mel shares the hard truths she’s learned about self-criticism, people-pleasing, and why waiting to feel “ready” keeps us stuck. Jay reflects on how constantly judging and fixing ourselves pulls us away from our inner life, and why real growth starts with awareness and self-respect. Mel also talks about how many of her biggest changes came from desperation, not confidence, and Jay reframes jealousy, fear, and failure as signs that something meaningful is trying to emerge.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Run Your Life

How to Quiet Your Inner Critic When Stress Takes Over

How to Unlearn the Self-Criticism You Were Taught Growing Up

How to Stop Waiting to Feel “Ready” to Start Living Your Life

How to Break the Habit of People-Pleasing Without Guilt

How to Use Jealousy as a Clue Instead of a Curse

How to Keep Going When Desperation, Not Confidence, Is Driving You

Life doesn’t change all at once. It changes when you choose to speak to yourself with kindness, honor your needs, and take the next step even when you’re afraid.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. 

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:17 What Do We Really Worry About Most?

02:12 How to Quiet the Inner Critic

15:50 Stop Obsessing Over the Physical 

18:17 How People-Pleasing Is Actually a Form of Control

25:02 Start Listening to Your Own Needs

29:54 Finding the Strength to Let Go and Move Forward

41:15 Is it a Vibe or Not a Vibe?

46:18 Creating Safety by Letting Go of Judgment

50:04 The Power of Outlasting Yourself

58:50 Making Space for Hurt While Choosing Compassion

01:05:14 Turning What You Love Into a Business

Episode Resources:

Website | https://www.melrobbins.com/ 

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ 

YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/c/melrobbins 

TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@melrobbins 

The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About

Jay is joined on stage at Boston&rsquo;s Wang Theatre by his longtime friend Mel Robbins, in front of a packed live audience. Their shared history allows them to speak openly and honestly about the pressure to be liked, the fear of being misunderstood, and how easily we lose ourselves trying to meet other people&rsquo;s expectations. Mel&rsquo;s superpower is her ability to choose herself in moments when giving up or staying small feels safer.
Mel shares the hard truths she&rsquo;s learned about self-criticism, people-pleasing, and why waiting to feel &ldquo;ready&rdquo; keeps us stuck. Jay reflects on how constantly judging and fixing ourselves pulls us away from our inner life, and why real growth starts with awareness and self-respect. Mel also talks about how many of her biggest changes came from desperation, not confidence, and Jay reframes jealousy, fear, and failure as signs that something meaningful is trying to emerge.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Stop Letting Other People&rsquo;s Opinions Run Your Life
How to Quiet Your Inner Critic When Stress Takes Over
How to Unlearn the Self-Criticism You Were Taught Growing Up
How to Stop Waiting to Feel &ldquo;Ready&rdquo; to Start Living Your Life
How to Break the Habit of People-Pleasing Without Guilt
How to Use Jealousy as a Clue Instead of a Curse
How to Keep Going When Desperation, Not Confidence, Is Driving You
Life doesn&rsquo;t change all at once. It changes when you choose to speak to yourself with kindness, honor your needs, and take the next step even when you&rsquo;re afraid.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">here</a>.&nbsp;
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! <a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast">https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:17 What Do We Really Worry About Most?
02:12 How to Quiet the Inner Critic
15:50 Stop Obsessing Over the Physical&nbsp;
18:17 How People-Pleasing Is Actually a Form of Control
25:02 Start Listening to Your Own Needs
29:54 Finding the Strength to Let Go and Move Forward
41:15 Is it a Vibe or Not a Vibe?
46:18 Creating Safety by Letting Go of Judgment
50:04 The Power of Outlasting Yourself
58:50 Making Space for Hurt While Choosing Compassion
01:05:14 Turning What You Love Into a Business
Episode Resources:
Website | <a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/">https://www.melrobbins.com/</a>&nbsp;
Instagram | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/">https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/</a>&nbsp;
YouTube | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/c/melrobbins">https://www.youtube.com/c/melrobbins</a>&nbsp;
TikTok | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@melrobbins">https://www.tiktok.com/@melrobbins</a>&nbsp;
<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mel-robbins-podcast/id1646101002">The Mel Robbins Podcast</a>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Let-Them-Theory-Life-Changing-Millions/dp/B0DFMZMKFJ/?_encoding=UTF8&amp;pd_rd_w=Rp7as&amp;content-id=amzn1.sym.bc3ba8d1-5076-4ab7-9ba8-a5c6211e002d&amp;pf_rd_p=bc3ba8d1-5076-4ab7-9ba8-a5c6211e002d&amp;pf_rd_r=132-8121315-7594942&amp;pd_rd_wg=OVMET&amp;pd_rd_r=8ae51e79-e6c5-4904-8848-02949c09243c&amp;ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk">The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can&rsquo;t Stop Talking About</a>

MEL ROBBINS: How to Stop People-Pleasing Without Feeling Guilty (Follow THIS Simple Rule to Set Boundaries and Stop Putting Yourself Last!)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/52ae422e-99a1-4a97-8b5b-b3d20081a466/transcript

Matthew McConaughey didn’t build his life by trying to control every outcome. He built it by learning when to let go and when to trust.

Today, Jay sits down with Matthew for a raw, unfiltered exploration of purpose, faith, discipline, and what it really means to live well. It’s an honest conversation about the moments that shape us, and the choices that quietly define who we become. Together, they move through certainty and surrender, ambition and presence, effort and trust.

Matthew opens up about his lifelong relationship with achievement and his growing desire to create space for stillness, daydreaming, and reflection. He shares how writing became a way to strip away filters and speak more directly to his truth, and how fatherhood reshaped his understanding of responsibility, humility, and love. Jay and Matthew explore failure as a sign of growth, and how disappointment when met with self-awareness, can teach rather than define us. Together they reveal a powerful insight: growth doesn’t come from trying to perfect ourselves, but from learning how to stay present, curious, and grounded through every season of life. 

Matthew reflects on the balance between taking responsibility and letting go, between striving for excellence and accepting imperfection. He shares why he believes the world is conspiring to make us happy, not through ease, but through meaning, effort, and alignment.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Trust Life Without Losing Control

How to Redefine Success Beyond Achievement

How to Learn From Failure Without Shame

How to Build Trust Before You Need It

How to Stay Present Without Chasing Perfection

How to Strengthen Love Through Daily Intention

How to Find Meaning When Answers Aren’t Clear

Life isn’t asking you to be perfect, it’s asking you to be present. To stay curious. To keep learning. To choose courage over comfort and intention over autopilot. No matter where you are right now, progress is still possible, meaning is still available, and your next step matters.

Explore Matthew McConaughey’s reflections  on faith, belief, and the human experience in his book Poems & Prayers: http://poemsprayers.com/

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. 

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:16 The Drive for Purpose and Accomplishment

04:23 Living With a Beginner’s Mind

07:20 What Chapter of Life Are You In Right Now?

13:21 Why You’re Exactly Where You Need to Be

16:25 How Your View of Success Shapes Failure

20:39 Humility Means Being Honest With Yourself

23:15 The Power of Consequences

25:47 You Just Need to Take One Step at a Time

30:49 Staying Grounded in Faith Through Real Life Experiences 

34:37 Ways to Strengthen Your Spiritual Practice

45:29 What is Truly Fascinating About Being Human?

50:45 Are We Expecting Too Much From Others?

58:57 Where Do You Seek Validation?

01:01:56 Learning to Trust Without Losing Control

01:08:28 When Everything Matters, Nothing Does

01:13:24 A More Realistic Way to Think About Love

01:24:14 Understanding Both Sides of Consequence

01:27:49 Matthew on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Poems & Prayers | http://poemsprayers.com/

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/officiallymcconaughey/ 

YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChH3PVceKAMkFXHza0PlX_Q 

X | https://x.com/McConaughey 

Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/MatthewMcConaughey/ 

TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@officiallymcconaughey_m

Matthew McConaughey didn&rsquo;t build his life by trying to control every outcome. He built it by learning when to let go and when to trust.
Today, Jay sits down with Matthew for a raw, unfiltered exploration of purpose, faith, discipline, and what it really means to live well. It&rsquo;s an honest conversation about the moments that shape us, and the choices that quietly define who we become. Together, they move through certainty and surrender, ambition and presence, effort and trust.
Matthew opens up about his lifelong relationship with achievement and his growing desire to create space for stillness, daydreaming, and reflection. He shares how writing became a way to strip away filters and speak more directly to his truth, and how fatherhood reshaped his understanding of responsibility, humility, and love. Jay and Matthew explore failure as a sign of growth, and how disappointment when met with self-awareness, can teach rather than define us. Together they reveal a powerful insight: growth doesn&rsquo;t come from trying to perfect ourselves, but from learning how to stay present, curious, and grounded through every season of life.&nbsp;
Matthew reflects on the balance between taking responsibility and letting go, between striving for excellence and accepting imperfection. He shares why he believes the world is conspiring to make us happy, not through ease, but through meaning, effort, and alignment.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Trust Life Without Losing Control
How to Redefine Success Beyond Achievement
How to Learn From Failure Without Shame
How to Build Trust Before You Need It
How to Stay Present Without Chasing Perfection
How to Strengthen Love Through Daily Intention
How to Find Meaning When Answers Aren&rsquo;t Clear
Life isn&rsquo;t asking you to be perfect, it&rsquo;s asking you to be present. To stay curious. To keep learning. To choose courage over comfort and intention over autopilot. No matter where you are right now, progress is still possible, meaning is still available, and your next step matters.
Explore Matthew McConaughey&rsquo;s reflections&nbsp; on faith, belief, and the human experience in his book Poems &amp; Prayers: <a href="http://poemsprayers.com/">http://poemsprayers.com/</a>
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">here</a>.&nbsp;
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! <a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast">https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:16 The Drive for Purpose and Accomplishment
04:23 Living With a Beginner&rsquo;s Mind
07:20 What Chapter of Life Are You In Right Now?
13:21 Why You&rsquo;re Exactly Where You Need to Be
16:25 How Your View of Success Shapes Failure
20:39 Humility Means Being Honest With Yourself
23:15 The Power of Consequences
25:47 You Just Need to Take One Step at a Time
30:49 Staying Grounded in Faith Through Real Life Experiences&nbsp;
34:37 Ways to Strengthen Your Spiritual Practice
45:29 What is Truly Fascinating About Being Human?
50:45 Are We Expecting Too Much From Others?
58:57 Where Do You Seek Validation?
01:01:56 Learning to Trust Without Losing Control
01:08:28 When Everything Matters, Nothing Does
01:13:24 A More Realistic Way to Think About Love
01:24:14 Understanding Both Sides of Consequence
01:27:49 Matthew on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Poems &amp; Prayers | <a href="http://poemsprayers.com/">http://poemsprayers.com/</a>
Instagram | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/officiallymcconaughey/">https://www.instagram.com/officiallymcconaughey/</a>&nbsp;
YouTube | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChH3PVceKAMkFXHza0PlX_Q">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChH3PVceKAMkFXHza0PlX_Q</a>&nbsp;
X | <a href="https://x.com/McConaughey">https://x.com/McConaughey</a>&nbsp;
Facebook | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/MatthewMcConaughey/">https://www.facebook.com/MatthewMcConaughey/</a>&nbsp;
TikTok | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@officiallymcconaughey_m">https://www.tiktok.com/@officiallymcconaughey_m</a>

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY: The KEYS to a Meaningful Life (Love, Faith, Family & Turning Failure into Growth)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/9d1105a8-b0da-4330-8465-b3d0005c9ece/transcript

Today, Jay invites us to rethink everything we’ve been taught about breaking bad habits. Instead of blaming willpower, discipline, or personality traits, he reframes habits as systems shaped by our triggers, emotions, and environments. He explains why most habits aren’t character flaws but subconscious coping strategies designed to provide comfort, escape, or relief. With this approach, we end up battling ourselves instead of breaking the loop that’s actually sustaining the habit. The real shift begins when we stop asking “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking “What is this habit doing for me?”

Jay then breaks down the four-part habit loop: trigger, emotion, behavior, and reward and shows how interrupting just one part can collapse the entire pattern. He explains that our environment matters more than motivation and if you want to change a habit, you have to change the cues that trigger it. Rather than quitting habits cold turkey, he encourages replacing the reward with a healthier form of relief, reminding us that the brain will always seek comfort. Through simple, practical examples, he shows how small interruptions, conscious pauses, and thoughtful substitutions can dismantle habits that once felt impossible to break. 

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Break Bad Habits Without Relying on Willpower

How to Identify the Hidden Triggers Fueling Your Habits

How to Interrupt the Habit Loop

How to Stop Fighting Habits and Start Understanding Them

How to Build an Identity That Makes Good Habits Stick

How to Use Small Replacements to Create Big Change

Every habit you want to change once served a purpose, now you get to decide what serves you going forward. When you become aware of your triggers, redesign your environment, and choose support over struggle, growth becomes lighter and more sustainable. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:34 How Do You Actually Break a Bad Habit?

02:06 You Are Not Your Habits

05:04 The 4-Part Loop that Creates the Habit

07:11 Action #1: Redesign Your Triggers

08:44 Action #2: Replace the Reward not the Habit

11:33 Action #3: Interrupt the Loop In Real Time

12:48 Action #4: Build a New Identity Around Your Choices

15:00 The #1 Mistake in Breaking Habits

15:51 90-Day Habit Breakup Blueprint

Today, Jay invites us to rethink everything we&rsquo;ve been taught about breaking bad habits. Instead of blaming willpower, discipline, or personality traits, he reframes habits as systems shaped by our triggers, emotions, and environments. He explains why most habits aren&rsquo;t character flaws but subconscious coping strategies designed to provide comfort, escape, or relief. With this approach, we end up battling ourselves instead of breaking the loop that&rsquo;s actually sustaining the habit. The real shift begins when we stop asking &ldquo;What&rsquo;s wrong with me?&rdquo; and start asking &ldquo;What is this habit doing for me?&rdquo;
Jay then breaks down the four-part habit loop: trigger, emotion, behavior, and reward and shows how interrupting just one part can collapse the entire pattern. He explains that our environment matters more than motivation and if you want to change a habit, you have to change the cues that trigger it. Rather than quitting habits cold turkey, he encourages replacing the reward with a healthier form of relief, reminding us that the brain will always seek comfort. Through simple, practical examples, he shows how small interruptions, conscious pauses, and thoughtful substitutions can dismantle habits that once felt impossible to break.&nbsp;
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Break Bad Habits Without Relying on Willpower
How to Identify the Hidden Triggers Fueling Your Habits
How to Interrupt the Habit Loop
How to Stop Fighting Habits and Start Understanding Them
How to Build an Identity That Makes Good Habits Stick
How to Use Small Replacements to Create Big Change
Every habit you want to change once served a purpose, now you get to decide what serves you going forward. When you become aware of your triggers, redesign your environment, and choose support over struggle, growth becomes lighter and more sustainable.&nbsp;
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">here</a>.
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:34 How Do You Actually Break a Bad Habit?
02:06 You Are Not Your Habits
05:04 The 4-Part Loop that Creates the Habit
07:11 Action #1: Redesign Your Triggers
08:44 Action #2: Replace the Reward not the Habit
11:33 Action #3: Interrupt the Loop In Real Time
12:48 Action #4: Build a New Identity Around Your Choices
15:00 The #1 Mistake in Breaking Habits
15:51 90-Day Habit Breakup Blueprint

How to Break 90% of Your Bad Habits in 2026! (Use THIS 10-Second Trick and Beat the Pattern!)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/5034cad3-6558-4bb5-8f6a-b3cd002748c2/transcript

Gretchen Rubin ON: How Understanding Your Habits Allows You to Thrive in Work, Love and Life

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