Are you a perfectionist? It is totally fine if you answered yes!

On this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty tells stories about how he overcame the perfectionist mindset and provides six simple steps for you to do it too. 

Are you a perfectionist? It is totally fine if you answered yes!
On this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty tells stories about how he overcame the perfectionist mindset and provides six simple steps for you to do it too.

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.

I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace.
I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

My name is Jay Shetty, and my purpose is to make wisdom go viral. I’m fortunate to have fascinating conversations with the most insightful people in the world, and on my podcast, I’m sharing those conversations with you. New episodes Mondays and Fridays. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Live life today ON PURPOSE.

Are you a perfectionist? It is totally fine if you answered yes!

On this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty tells stories about how he overcame the perfectionist mindset and provides six simple steps for you to do it too.

6 Steps to Overcome the Perfectionist Mindset and Focus On the Process

Today, Jay sits down with communication expert Jefferson Fisher to explore why the conversations we avoid often shape our lives the most. Drawing from his experience as a trial lawyer turned teacher, Jefferson shares a powerful truth: communication isn’t about winning arguments, it’s about building peace. When we learn to face difficult conversations head on with clarity, courage, and compassion we stop people-pleasing, reconnect with who we truly are, and create deeper, more honest relationships. Avoidance may feel safer in the moment, but it always comes at a cost.

Together, Jay and Jefferson unpack why so many conflicts spiral, not because of what’s said, but because of what’s heard. From romantic relationships to family dynamics, they reveal how most arguments are really about the need to feel understood, valued, and safe. Jefferson shares simple yes transformative tools, like asking “What did you hear?” or pausing to breathe before responding, that help slow heated moments and turn reaction into connection. He explains that true emotional intelligence is the ability to repair quickly, validate feelings without needing to agree, and choose understanding over defensiveness.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Face Difficult Conversations Without Fear

How to Say the Hard Thing Without Starting a Fight

How to Stay Calm When You Feel Triggered

How to Make Someone Feel Understood Without Agreeing

How to Repair a Conversation After You Mess Up

How to Slow Down Arguments Before They Escalate

How to Build Deeper Relationships Through Better Conversations

Every honest sentence, every pause to breathe, every moment you choose understanding over reaction is a step toward a more peaceful life. Growth doesn’t come from avoiding what’s hard, it comes from meeting it with intention, patience, and compassion.

Get your own copy of Jefferson’s latest book, The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. 

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:11 How Good Communication Creates a Life of Peace

02:14 Why Facing Difficult Conversations Changes Everything

04:53 Your Fear of Upsetting Others Is Valid

06:45 The Biggest Communication Mistake We All Make

09:45 Can You Actually Change Someone’s Mind?

12:31 How to Reach Someone Who Refuses to Communicate

16:17 Winning Arguments Should Never Be the Goal

19:43 What to Do When Your Partner Triggers You

21:21 The Patience Required to Create Real Connection

25:42 How Should I Respond to the Silent Treatment?

30:13 The Clearest Sign Someone Doesn’t Truly Care

32:10 When a Relationship May Be Beyond Repair

35:00 Why Radical Honesty Strengthens Relationships

38:03 When Your Partner Can’t Handle the Hard Conversations

41:31 The Small Moments Where Repair Gets Missed

44:20 Do You Feel Judged by Your Parents?

51:53 How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

55:14 How to Stop Saying Things You Don’t Mean

58:04 Setting Boundaries That Actually Stick 

01:00:37 What to Do When a Coworker Keep Interrupting You

01:03:15 Overexplaining Undermines Your Confidence

01:06:06 Breaking the Us vs. Them Mentality

01:11:25 Jefferson on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Website | https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/  

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher/ 

YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXjnpu6lK0HoUyOMh2ZBwhQ 

TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson  

Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/justaskjefferson/  

X | https://x.com/jefferson_fishr 

LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/

Today, Jay sits down with communication expert Jefferson Fisher to explore why the conversations we avoid often shape our lives the most. Drawing from his experience as a trial lawyer turned teacher, Jefferson shares a powerful truth: communication isn&rsquo;t about winning arguments, it&rsquo;s about building peace. When we learn to face difficult conversations head on with clarity, courage, and compassion we stop people-pleasing, reconnect with who we truly are, and create deeper, more honest relationships. Avoidance may feel safer in the moment, but it always comes at a cost.
Together, Jay and Jefferson unpack why so many conflicts spiral, not because of what&rsquo;s said, but because of what&rsquo;s heard. From romantic relationships to family dynamics, they reveal how most arguments are really about the need to feel understood, valued, and safe. Jefferson shares simple yes transformative tools, like asking &ldquo;What did you hear?&rdquo; or pausing to breathe before responding, that help slow heated moments and turn reaction into connection. He explains that true emotional intelligence is the ability to repair quickly, validate feelings without needing to agree, and choose understanding over defensiveness.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Face Difficult Conversations Without Fear
How to Say the Hard Thing Without Starting a Fight
How to Stay Calm When You Feel Triggered
How to Make Someone Feel Understood Without Agreeing
How to Repair a Conversation After You Mess Up
How to Slow Down Arguments Before They Escalate
How to Build Deeper Relationships Through Better Conversations
Every honest sentence, every pause to breathe, every moment you choose understanding over reaction is a step toward a more peaceful life. Growth doesn&rsquo;t come from avoiding what&rsquo;s hard, it comes from meeting it with intention, patience, and compassion.
Get your own copy of Jefferson&rsquo;s latest book, <a href="https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/462125/the-next-conversation-by-fisher-jefferson/9780241719886">The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More</a>&nbsp;
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY&rsquo;S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">here</a>.&nbsp;
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! <a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast">https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:11 How Good Communication Creates a Life of Peace
02:14 Why Facing Difficult Conversations Changes Everything
04:53 Your Fear of Upsetting Others Is Valid
06:45 The Biggest Communication Mistake We All Make
09:45 Can You Actually Change Someone&rsquo;s Mind?
12:31 How to Reach Someone Who Refuses to Communicate
16:17 Winning Arguments Should Never Be the Goal
19:43 What to Do When Your Partner Triggers You
21:21 The Patience Required to Create Real Connection
25:42 How Should I Respond to the Silent Treatment?
30:13 The Clearest Sign Someone Doesn&rsquo;t Truly Care
32:10 When a Relationship May Be Beyond Repair
35:00 Why Radical Honesty Strengthens Relationships
38:03 When Your Partner Can&rsquo;t Handle the Hard Conversations
41:31 The Small Moments Where Repair Gets Missed
44:20 Do You Feel Judged by Your Parents?
51:53 How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
55:14 How to Stop Saying Things You Don&rsquo;t Mean
58:04 Setting Boundaries That Actually Stick&nbsp;
01:00:37 What to Do When a Coworker Keep Interrupting You
01:03:15 Overexplaining Undermines Your Confidence
01:06:06 Breaking the Us vs. Them Mentality
01:11:25 Jefferson on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Website | <a href="https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/">https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;
Instagram | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher/">https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher/</a>&nbsp;
YouTube | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXjnpu6lK0HoUyOMh2ZBwhQ">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXjnpu6lK0HoUyOMh2ZBwhQ</a>&nbsp;
TikTok | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson">https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;
Facebook | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/justaskjefferson/">https://www.facebook.com/justaskjefferson/</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;
X | <a href="https://x.com/jefferson_fishr">https://x.com/jefferson_fishr</a>&nbsp;
LinkedIn | <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/">https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/</a>

Jefferson Fisher: The #1 Communication Mistake People Make in Arguments (Do THIS Before You Respond to Instantly Lower Tension)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/f0a7a117-76af-4709-9c2b-b40f00580fc5/transcript

If a breakup has ever left you feeling physically sick, emotionally lost, and not feeling like yourself, nothing is wrong with you. You’re grieving.

Today, Jay speaks directly to anyone navigating the quiet devastation of heartbreak, reminding them that nothing is “wrong” with them for feeling the way they do. He explains that breakups don’t just hurt emotionally, they activate the same neural pathways as physical pain and withdrawal. What you’re experiencing isn’t weakness or failure; it’s grief. Jay reframes the end of a relationship not simply as losing a person, but as losing a future you imagined, the routines your nervous system depended on, and the version of yourself that existed within that relationship.

Jay walks us through the five stages of breakup grief, showing how numbness is a form of protection, why the mind gets stuck in rumination after loss, and how anger can signal the return of self-respect. Rather than rushing to “move on,” he encourages simple practices like building small routines, writing down obsessive thoughts, setting boundaries, and resisting the highlight reel your mind creates that makes you only remember the good. The stages aren’t a straight line, but a map that helps you move through uncertainty with more grace and self-compassion.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Rebuild Your Routine After a Breakup

How to Break the Cycle of Rumination

How to Express Anger in a Healthy Way

How to Set Boundaries That Protect Your Healing

How to Move Through Sadness Without Rushing It

How to Create Meaning After Loss

Be gentle with yourself in this season. Lean on the people who show up for you. Rebuild your routines slowly. One day, this chapter will no longer be the center of your story, it will be the turning point that makes you wiser, stronger, and more secure in who you are.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:19 Biggest Mistake Made During a Break Up

02:34 You’re Actually Experiencing Grief 

07:40 Stage #1: Shock and Denial

10:12 2 Ways to Overcome the Shock

12:58 Stage #2: Bargaining and Obsession

17:45 Stage #3: Anger and Protest

21:49 Stage #4: Sadness and Depression

24:33 Stage #5: Acceptance and Meaning

26:24 This is How You Heal

If a breakup has ever left you feeling physically sick, emotionally lost, and not feeling like yourself, nothing is wrong with you. You&rsquo;re grieving.
Today, Jay speaks directly to anyone navigating the quiet devastation of heartbreak, reminding them that nothing is &ldquo;wrong&rdquo; with them for feeling the way they do. He explains that breakups don&rsquo;t just hurt emotionally, they activate the same neural pathways as physical pain and withdrawal. What you&rsquo;re experiencing isn&rsquo;t weakness or failure; it&rsquo;s grief. Jay reframes the end of a relationship not simply as losing a person, but as losing a future you imagined, the routines your nervous system depended on, and the version of yourself that existed within that relationship.
Jay walks us through the five stages of breakup grief, showing how numbness is a form of protection, why the mind gets stuck in rumination after loss, and how anger can signal the return of self-respect. Rather than rushing to &ldquo;move on,&rdquo; he encourages simple practices like building small routines, writing down obsessive thoughts, setting boundaries, and resisting the highlight reel your mind creates that makes you only remember the good. The stages aren&rsquo;t a straight line, but a map that helps you move through uncertainty with more grace and self-compassion.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Rebuild Your Routine After a Breakup
How to Break the Cycle of Rumination
How to Express Anger in a Healthy Way
How to Set Boundaries That Protect Your Healing
How to Move Through Sadness Without Rushing It
How to Create Meaning After Loss
Be gentle with yourself in this season. Lean on the people who show up for you. Rebuild your routines slowly. One day, this chapter will no longer be the center of your story, it will be the turning point that makes you wiser, stronger, and more secure in who you are.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">here</a>.
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:19 Biggest Mistake Made During a Break Up
02:34 You&rsquo;re Actually Experiencing Grief&nbsp;
07:40 Stage #1: Shock and Denial
10:12 2 Ways to Overcome the Shock
12:58 Stage #2: Bargaining and Obsession
17:45 Stage #3: Anger and Protest
21:49 Stage #4: Sadness and Depression
24:33 Stage #5: Acceptance and Meaning
26:24 This is How You Heal

If You’re Going Through a Breakup, Listen To This

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/9605b310-c932-4126-b2ed-b40c00466867/transcript

For many women, the real challenge isn’t just unexplained health problems, it’s being heard when they seek help.

Jay sits down with Dr. Thaïs Aliabadi, or "Dr. A", to unpack a silent crisis affecting millions of women around the world: undiagnosed PCOS and endometriosis. This isn’t just a discussion about fertility, but a masterclass on hormones, inflammation, mental health, and the painful reality of medical gaslighting. PCOS, a condition shaped by insulin resistance, hormonal imbalance, chronic inflammation, and neurological disruption, is often overlooked, leaving women struggling with anxiety, depression, weight gain, irregular periods, and infertility without answers. Dr. A shares how insulin resistance acts as the “first domino,” triggering a domino effect that impacts everything from ovulation to mood, and emphasizes that true healing requires addressing all four pillars, not just masking symptoms with birth control.

Dr. A challenges the outdated belief that painful periods are “normal,” explaining that severe pain, painful sex, chronic bloating, bladder symptoms, and bowel discomfort are signs something deeper may be wrong. She reveals that diagnosis takes an average of 9–11 years, and that many women are told their pain is psychological before they’re ever taken seriously.

Through both science and lived clinical experience, she makes it clear: when inflammation and hormones are out of balance, mental health suffers too. Anxiety, depression, brain fog, and eating disorders are not personal failings, they are often physiological signals that something deeper is happening in the body.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Recognize the Signs of PCOS Early

How to Reduce Insulin Resistance Naturally

How to Tell if Your Period Pain Is “Normal”

How to Protect Your Fertility in Your 20s and 30s

How to Balance Hormones Beyond Birth Control

How to Spot Hidden Symptoms of Endometriosis

How to Lower Inflammation Through Lifestyle Changes

If there’s one thing to take away from this conversation, it’s this: your body is not working against you, it’s communicating with you. Pain is not weakness. It is a signal and you deserve to have those signals taken seriously.

To learn more about Dr. A’s advocacy on women’s health, check out: https://www.shemdpodcast.com/ 

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe  

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast 

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:58 Are We Facing a Fertility Crisis?

03:58 What Is PCOS?

07:13 Why PCOS Often Goes Undiagnosed

09:15 The Impact of Insulin Resistance

15:06 Making PCOS Patients Insulin-Sensitive

19:37 The Nutritional Effects of GLP-1 Medications

22:14 High Androgens and Chronic Inflammation

25:39 How Hormonal Imbalances Affect the Brain

29:25 Why Birth Control Alone Isn’t Enough

31:23 How to Know If You Have PCOS

35:01 Painful Periods Are Not Normal

36:47 What Is Endometriosis?

46:07 The Most Effective Treatment Approach for Endometriosis

49:20 The Risks of Ignoring Endometriosis

53:09 How to Use Birth Control Strategically

56:04 What to Do If Egg Freezing Isn’t an Option

57:53 The Link Between Endometriosis and Leaky Gut

01:00:33 Potential IVF Complications Explained

01:04:38 A Scientific Approach to Infertility

01:10:01 What to Do If You’re Not Getting Pregnant

Episode Resources:

Website: https://ovii.com/ 

Website: https://www.draliabadi.com/ 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrej0PO97bg8GRMogtcKbbA 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThaisAliabadiMd 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drthaisaliabadi/ 

For many women, the real challenge isn&rsquo;t just unexplained health problems, it&rsquo;s being heard when they seek help.
Jay sits down with Dr. Tha&iuml;s Aliabadi, or "Dr. A", to unpack a silent crisis affecting millions of women around the world: undiagnosed PCOS and endometriosis. This isn&rsquo;t just a discussion about fertility, but a masterclass on hormones, inflammation, mental health, and the painful reality of medical gaslighting. PCOS, a condition shaped by insulin resistance, hormonal imbalance, chronic inflammation, and neurological disruption, is often overlooked, leaving women struggling with anxiety, depression, weight gain, irregular periods, and infertility without answers. Dr. A shares how insulin resistance acts as the &ldquo;first domino,&rdquo; triggering a domino effect that impacts everything from ovulation to mood, and emphasizes that true healing requires addressing all four pillars, not just masking symptoms with birth control.
Dr. A challenges the outdated belief that painful periods are &ldquo;normal,&rdquo; explaining that severe pain, painful sex, chronic bloating, bladder symptoms, and bowel discomfort are signs something deeper may be wrong. She reveals that diagnosis takes an average of 9&ndash;11 years, and that many women are told their pain is psychological before they&rsquo;re ever taken seriously.
Through both science and lived clinical experience, she makes it clear: when inflammation and hormones are out of balance, mental health suffers too. Anxiety, depression, brain fog, and eating disorders are not personal failings, they are often physiological signals that something deeper is happening in the body.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Recognize the Signs of PCOS Early
How to Reduce Insulin Resistance Naturally
How to Tell if Your Period Pain Is &ldquo;Normal&rdquo;
How to Protect Your Fertility in Your 20s and 30s
How to Balance Hormones Beyond Birth Control
How to Spot Hidden Symptoms of Endometriosis
How to Lower Inflammation Through Lifestyle Changes
If there&rsquo;s one thing to take away from this conversation, it&rsquo;s this: your body is not working against you, it&rsquo;s communicating with you. Pain is not weakness. It is a signal and you deserve to have those signals taken seriously.
To learn more about Dr. A&rsquo;s advocacy on women&rsquo;s health, check out: <a href="https://www.shemdpodcast.com/">https://www.shemdpodcast.com/</a>&nbsp;
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY&rsquo;S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: <a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe">https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe</a> &nbsp;
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! <a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast">https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</a>&nbsp;
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:58 Are We Facing a Fertility Crisis?
03:58 What Is PCOS?
07:13 Why PCOS Often Goes Undiagnosed
09:15 The Impact of Insulin Resistance
15:06 Making PCOS Patients Insulin-Sensitive
19:37 The Nutritional Effects of GLP-1 Medications
22:14 High Androgens and Chronic Inflammation
25:39 How Hormonal Imbalances Affect the Brain
29:25 Why Birth Control Alone Isn&rsquo;t Enough
31:23 How to Know If You Have PCOS
35:01 Painful Periods Are Not Normal
36:47 What Is Endometriosis?
46:07 The Most Effective Treatment Approach for Endometriosis
49:20 The Risks of Ignoring Endometriosis
53:09 How to Use Birth Control Strategically
56:04 What to Do If Egg Freezing Isn&rsquo;t an Option
57:53 The Link Between Endometriosis and Leaky Gut
01:00:33 Potential IVF Complications Explained
01:04:38 A Scientific Approach to Infertility
01:10:01 What to Do If You&rsquo;re Not Getting Pregnant
Episode Resources:
Website: <a href="https://ovii.com/">https://ovii.com/</a>&nbsp;
Website: <a href="https://www.draliabadi.com/">https://www.draliabadi.com/</a>&nbsp;
YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrej0PO97bg8GRMogtcKbbA">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrej0PO97bg8GRMogtcKbbA</a>&nbsp;
Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ThaisAliabadiMd">https://www.facebook.com/ThaisAliabadiMd</a>&nbsp;
Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drthaisaliabadi/">https://www.instagram.com/drthaisaliabadi/</a>&nbsp;

WORLD’S TOP OBGYN Dr. Aliabadi: The #1 Hormone Problem Affecting Millions of Women (And The 4 Changes That Can Reverse It)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/82b91d73-4169-486c-a007-b40a0064d371/transcript

6 Steps to Overcome the Perfectionist Mindset and Focus On the Process

In 1 playlist(s)

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Social links

Follow podcast

Recent clips