Motherfucking Mini Yourself Mini episode, motherfucking Mini Yourself.

Motherfucking Mini Yourself Mini episode, motherfucking Mini Yourself.

My mother's so soft, So don't think I ain't hard.

My mother's so soft, So don't think I ain't hard.

Bitch, say we see make your rain, I say, bitch, I ain't. God.

Bitch, say we see make your rain, I say, bitch, I ain't. God.

Welcome little Mama's in Gentiles alike to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

Welcome little Mama's in Gentiles alike to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

The podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

The podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

And we finally worked to prove who has been braiding Wayne's hair this whole time.

And we finally worked to prove who has been braiding Wayne's hair this whole time.

It can't be from the community.

It can't be from the community.

Mmmmm, this is.

Mmmmm, this is.

He saying, just saying, nobody would do Lil Wayne's there, Nobody, nobody of African descent would do Lil Wayne's there the way that it is now being done.

He saying, just saying, nobody would do Lil Wayne's there, Nobody, nobody of African descent would do Lil Wayne's there the way that it is now being done.

Who do you know who would fuck up that man's braids? Yeah?

Who do you know who would fuck up that man's braids? Yeah?

I mean his dreads have snapped off, I would say, a decade ago, and he's never made any adjustments, do you know what I mean? Like, it doesn't feel like he like, oh he snapped off. Maybe I should like take on a new system, Maybe I need to try some different products. It just feels like he's he's continuing on the same path.

I mean his dreads have snapped off, I would say, a decade ago, and he's never made any adjustments, do you know what I mean? Like, it doesn't feel like he like, oh he snapped off. Maybe I should like take on a new system, Maybe I need to try some different products. It just feels like he's he's continuing on the same path.

Yeah, I think you can outrich a haircut too, Like till you get so rich you don't really need a good haircut. We see it a lot, Jake Cole, Yeah, Tim Duncan, I think it's beautiful.

Yeah, I think you can outrich a haircut too, Like till you get so rich you don't really need a good haircut. We see it a lot, Jake Cole, Yeah, Tim Duncan, I think it's beautiful.

Jay Z did it. Jay Z was like, I'm never getting the air cut again. I'm so rich.

Jay Z did it. Jay Z was like, I'm never getting the air cut again. I'm so rich.

How nice would it be to be free of every two weeks?

How nice would it be to be free of every two weeks?

I do think.

I do think.

I do think it is sort of the more embarrassing thing that happens when a billionaire is still trapped in the same sort of like aesthetic standards that the rest of us are.

I do think it is sort of the more embarrassing thing that happens when a billionaire is still trapped in the same sort of like aesthetic standards that the rest of us are.

Like.

Like.

I know why I fixed my hair in my face. It's because that shallowness is all I have. But when they do it, it feels like, okay, well, then what the fuck did you get rich for?

I know why I fixed my hair in my face. It's because that shallowness is all I have. But when they do it, it feels like, okay, well, then what the fuck did you get rich for?

Yeah, to dress like us? What are you talking about?

Yeah, to dress like us? What are you talking about?

You're a loser, Yeah, loser.

You're a loser, Yeah, loser.

I was speaking at the other day because I was in the barbershop and theres going in on this dude, and it was like some ship that I knew it could get turned back at me for so I couldn't even laugh too hard.

I was speaking at the other day because I was in the barbershop and theres going in on this dude, and it was like some ship that I knew it could get turned back at me for so I couldn't even laugh too hard.

Uh right, all right, arms, I was like, it's this short as me.

Uh right, all right, arms, I was like, it's this short as me.

Yeah, we're just saying go ahead, take it easy, big man.

Yeah, we're just saying go ahead, take it easy, big man.

Some people, some people a lot of different body.

Some people, some people a lot of different body.

There's actually not one standard of beauty.

There's actually not one standard of beauty.

But hey, y'all felt us that fun. We're copping to that European body standard. But we're not here.

But hey, y'all felt us that fun. We're copping to that European body standard. But we're not here.

We're not here to talk about my insecurities at the barbershop. We have voicemails.

We're not here to talk about my insecurities at the barbershop. We have voicemails.

We have voicemails. You guys have been sending so many fucking voicemails and it's really cool. And this first voicemail, Bay, our producer, assures us, is worth the listen. We were trusting that Bay is correct that this first view we've opted not to listen to that my had of time. We really want to hear a raw dog, unfiltered, and so we're going to play it now.

We have voicemails. You guys have been sending so many fucking voicemails and it's really cool. And this first voicemail, Bay, our producer, assures us, is worth the listen. We were trusting that Bay is correct that this first view we've opted not to listen to that my had of time. We really want to hear a raw dog, unfiltered, and so we're going to play it now.

Yeah, new listener, about two much now. But I've been binging this ship out of this show, okay, And I noticed or my mama told me that Langston a k a pe week Kerman.

Yeah, new listener, about two much now. But I've been binging this ship out of this show, okay, And I noticed or my mama told me that Langston a k a pe week Kerman.

Hold wait a minute, then.

Hold wait a minute, then.

You just got here. You ain't even been with us that long to be speaking nasty to me.

You just got here. You ain't even been with us that long to be speaking nasty to me.

Why what did I do? What do you want to shot at me? They do be coming at you. It's crazy.

Why what did I do? What do you want to shot at me? They do be coming at you. It's crazy.

I'm so I'm so inspiring, I'm so uplifting and all they do is is speak.

I'm so I'm so inspiring, I'm so uplifting and all they do is is speak.

Speak rude.

Speak rude.

My direction, shame, shame.

My direction, shame, shame.

I just the best for us. But all right, yeah, play more of this garbage motherfuckers ship pee week.

I just the best for us. But all right, yeah, play more of this garbage motherfuckers ship pee week.

Kerman only bought Dave on the show so he can make more dark skin jokes.

Kerman only bought Dave on the show so he can make more dark skin jokes.

Damn.

Damn.

I noticed when the first show first started, you were kind of holding your punches and more defending light skin than making dark skin jokes. But now that that nigga's on the show, boy, you will call him blackie. You're blackie quick. I'm just saying conspiracy, clean, not observation. Definitely love the show so far, fellas, keep up the good work like bitches.

I noticed when the first show first started, you were kind of holding your punches and more defending light skin than making dark skin jokes. But now that that nigga's on the show, boy, you will call him blackie. You're blackie quick. I'm just saying conspiracy, clean, not observation. Definitely love the show so far, fellas, keep up the good work like bitches.

What I love is that he said you will call a blackie a blackie. He did say, and that's not true, yet stand up for you.

What I love is that he said you will call a blackie a blackie. He did say, and that's not true, yet stand up for you.

It is like he identified a change and was like, I don't I don't know what's happening, but you changed.

It is like he identified a change and was like, I don't I don't know what's happening, but you changed.

It felt like if we let that email or that voicemail going longer, it would have been like, and I'm for it.

It felt like if we let that email or that voicemail going longer, it would have been like, and I'm for it.

Honestly, these niggas.

Honestly, these niggas.

Too good, but too long, and somebody's ready to speak up. He ain't even say my name, He just said that nigga, bro he say, Bory, I appreciate your contribution.

Too good, but too long, and somebody's ready to speak up. He ain't even say my name, He just said that nigga, bro he say, Bory, I appreciate your contribution.

He truly, he's been listening for two months. One thing he knows is that he can be mean to me. And the other thing he knows is that you've made zero imprint on this podcast. And more importantly, the only real influence you've had is you've become a punching bag for my dark skin jokes.

He truly, he's been listening for two months. One thing he knows is that he can be mean to me. And the other thing he knows is that you've made zero imprint on this podcast. And more importantly, the only real influence you've had is you've become a punching bag for my dark skin jokes.

Which is funny because I feel like I go at you for being light skin.

Which is funny because I feel like I go at you for being light skin.

All the time I was gonna say, And granted, I know this will be received poorly. It always is, but I definitely think I take way more hits for being light skin than the other way around.

All the time I was gonna say, And granted, I know this will be received poorly. It always is, but I definitely think I take way more hits for being light skin than the other way around.

I will say hundred percent.

I will say hundred percent.

Certainly I get my shots in. There's been a few Uga boogers that that I felt pretty good about.

Certainly I get my shots in. There's been a few Uga boogers that that I felt pretty good about.

You know what it is. I think it's when you get your ear shots in. I don't know what it is. Maybe this is colorism.

You know what it is. I think it's when you get your ear shots in. I don't know what it is. Maybe this is colorism.

It does ring louder m, you know what I'm saying, Because I just get my little like well you and be off and then it's like yeah, then.

It does ring louder m, you know what I'm saying, Because I just get my little like well you and be off and then it's like yeah, then.

You're just like what about you?

You're just like what about you?

You big whip forrilla and the record stopsbody.

You big whip forrilla and the record stopsbody.

Hey, and I just a perfect impression of me.

Hey, and I just a perfect impression of me.

I don't know what you've been doing, but you lock the fucking uh as far as impersonating me.

I don't know what you've been doing, but you lock the fucking uh as far as impersonating me.

Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest. I'll listen to a ton of podcasts about comedy. I haven't heard a lot of the prior ones.

Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna be honest. I'll listen to a ton of podcasts about comedy. I haven't heard a lot of the prior ones.

Were you not? Were you not? Ever? It was it was defensive light skin. That was that was your that was your kind of take.

Were you not? Were you not? Ever? It was it was defensive light skin. That was that was your that was your kind of take.

I don't know that I've ever been defending light skin. Let me be clear about my position on light skin. I think that I am born of a curse.

I don't know that I've ever been defending light skin. Let me be clear about my position on light skin. I think that I am born of a curse.

I think that.

I think that.

I think that the further I.

I think that the further I.

Get into conspiracy theory, the more I'm not fully convinced racist are supposed to mix. I don't I don't know that this isn't a sin. But I'm grateful to be here. I I love who I am, despite the curse that I'm born of. And that said, I I am not so much a defender of light skin as I am a defender of what I think is often nasty stereotypes about people that that, frankly are are mostly unfounded. So so I think there was a period where I was probably defending the the sort of you know that the stereotypes weren't valid that zaid, I don't. I'm not sitting here being like a light skin champion the way that I think a lot of people want me to be.

Get into conspiracy theory, the more I'm not fully convinced racist are supposed to mix. I don't I don't know that this isn't a sin. But I'm grateful to be here. I I love who I am, despite the curse that I'm born of. And that said, I I am not so much a defender of light skin as I am a defender of what I think is often nasty stereotypes about people that that, frankly are are mostly unfounded. So so I think there was a period where I was probably defending the the sort of you know that the stereotypes weren't valid that zaid, I don't. I'm not sitting here being like a light skin champion the way that I think a lot of people want me to be.

I think that is maybe just the nature of being light skin. Possibly the people are like, he must be you know what I mean?

I think that is maybe just the nature of being light skin. Possibly the people are like, he must be you know what I mean?

Yeah, I mean we we talked about this more privately than on the podcast, but people are. People continue to be mad at us for mainly me, for that uh, there are no light skin A lists celebrities. They they continue to be on fire about how absurd that suggestion is. And I still think what's for What's not understood in the comment that I was making is that I'm not asking for more of us. I'm just identifying a difference in the way that we are received in Hollywood.

Yeah, I mean we we talked about this more privately than on the podcast, but people are. People continue to be mad at us for mainly me, for that uh, there are no light skin A lists celebrities. They they continue to be on fire about how absurd that suggestion is. And I still think what's for What's not understood in the comment that I was making is that I'm not asking for more of us. I'm just identifying a difference in the way that we are received in Hollywood.

And that's the funny thing, because I am mmmm, I I I I am no, no, no, I'm talking about I am team darks. I I that's what I want.

And that's the funny thing, because I am mmmm, I I I I am no, no, no, I'm talking about I am team darks. I I that's what I want.

I think Ben Wallace is the greatest basketball player of all time.

I think Ben Wallace is the greatest basketball player of all time.

Okay, well that's not There are plenty of dark skinn dudes you could have went with.

Okay, well that's not There are plenty of dark skinn dudes you could have went with.

And I just love I loved him. It's just that era.

And I just love I loved him. It's just that era.

He was a fun he was that was a fun team for sure.

He was a fun he was that was a fun team for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

His hair was so crazy, he's so strong, he was scary.

His hair was so crazy, he's so strong, he was scary.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uh no, that is yeah, because you don't I think if you really, if you were to really tally it up, me being pro dark skin is maybe more than you being pro light skin.

Uh no, that is yeah, because you don't I think if you really, if you were to really tally it up, me being pro dark skin is maybe more than you being pro light skin.

Yeah, you've never called you a sin?

Yeah, you've never called you a sin?

No? No, no, no, no no, quite frankly, I had to take six more.

No? No, no, no, no no, quite frankly, I had to take six more.

Yeah, no, I'd like to I'd like to stop this where I could wait.

Yeah, no, I'd like to I'd like to stop this where I could wait.

Okay, So this is interesting because we have never talked about this, because I don't know how how it happened that I got on here.

Okay, So this is interesting because we have never talked about this, because I don't know how how it happened that I got on here.

Were you looking for when you were looking? Because you can't got a woman? Yeah, quite frankly for the career, maybe a better choice.

Were you looking for when you were looking? Because you can't got a woman? Yeah, quite frankly for the career, maybe a better choice.

Yeah no, yeah, I probably.

Yeah no, yeah, I probably.

I probably thought about very powerful women that that I could have aligned myself with, and quite frankly.

I probably thought about very powerful women that that I could have aligned myself with, and quite frankly.

They were busy, you know what I mean?

They were busy, you know what I mean?

Yeah?

Yeah?

And uh and then I said, well, okay, well who's the funniest person I know?

And uh and then I said, well, okay, well who's the funniest person I know?

Okay, women, the women, the funny women I know didn't work, But now who's the just funniest person I know?

Okay, women, the women, the funny women I know didn't work, But now who's the just funniest person I know?

And your name immediately popped up.

And your name immediately popped up.

It would have been crazy if you had got another light skinned guy.

It would have been crazy if you had got another light skinned guy.

Though that was ultimately a non starter for me.

Though that was ultimately a non starter for me.

Was was I cannot in my in good faith, I could not run a podcast about black conspiracy theory. And it's me and the now motherfucker that's the same color as me. It just feels like we're not gonna be able to have the full breadth of the conversations, you know what I mean, in a way that helps everybody.

Was was I cannot in my in good faith, I could not run a podcast about black conspiracy theory. And it's me and the now motherfucker that's the same color as me. It just feels like we're not gonna be able to have the full breadth of the conversations, you know what I mean, in a way that helps everybody.

But to answer this color ship, Hey, man, my guy's just trying. He'd be getting ganged up on on here, bro.

But to answer this color ship, Hey, man, my guy's just trying. He'd be getting ganged up on on here, bro.

I just I just put my dukes up in swinging.

I just I just put my dukes up in swinging.

Man. I'm not.

Man. I'm not.

These niggas are punching me overhand. I'm still fighting like like the fucking twenties.

These niggas are punching me overhand. I'm still fighting like like the fucking twenties.

I'm just trying.

I'm just trying.

I'm just trying my best to survive getting jumped.

I'm just trying my best to survive getting jumped.

Baby.

Baby.

I ain't. I ain't bring this man on to make dark skin jokes. But I will continue to do that.

I ain't. I ain't bring this man on to make dark skin jokes. But I will continue to do that.

And if if that makes you happy, dear listener, then then I'm pleased that you you're here to join us.

And if if that makes you happy, dear listener, then then I'm pleased that you you're here to join us.

Yeah, I think that's a fair I think that's the fairest takeaway we can have of this. And also, women, no wom email about that one time. It is like, I feel like we have a lot of women.

Yeah, I think that's a fair I think that's the fairest takeaway we can have of this. And also, women, no wom email about that one time. It is like, I feel like we have a lot of women.

On, but I think we have a ton of women on the podcast, and frankly, I think most of our best episodes are with women.

On, but I think we have a ton of women on the podcast, and frankly, I think most of our best episodes are with women.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think either of us is running from consistently having women on. In fact, frankly, it's my preference. Most of the time I feel uncomfortable is with uh, with a bunch of dudes sitting around making weird you know, peepe jokes.

I don't think either of us is running from consistently having women on. In fact, frankly, it's my preference. Most of the time I feel uncomfortable is with uh, with a bunch of dudes sitting around making weird you know, peepe jokes.

Yeah, what's the most amount of dudes you feel like you can be comfortable around.

Yeah, what's the most amount of dudes you feel like you can be comfortable around.

That's a good question. Uh, it never has.

That's a good question. Uh, it never has.

You got single mom tendencies too, Like I got, I got that.

You got single mom tendencies too, Like I got, I got that.

So it is prefer women.

So it is prefer women.

Dog, I really don't love like being in groups of men like that. I could probably do like up to eight and that's pretty good. And then it's like I can't really you know what I mean. When I was hooping, that was different. When you're like playing sports, it's a little more like you're you are not so much man as you are athlete, joined in you know, sort of a process, but just chilling.

Dog, I really don't love like being in groups of men like that. I could probably do like up to eight and that's pretty good. And then it's like I can't really you know what I mean. When I was hooping, that was different. When you're like playing sports, it's a little more like you're you are not so much man as you are athlete, joined in you know, sort of a process, but just chilling.

Yeah, I can't. I can't exceed like five to eight dude. Yeah, like like just like a in a group.

Yeah, I can't. I can't exceed like five to eight dude. Yeah, like like just like a in a group.

Yeah that's true because like the other day, I had like three dudes at my house. We were just on the porch and my girl walked up and I was like, yeah, that's about the breath of fresh air we needed.

Yeah that's true because like the other day, I had like three dudes at my house. We were just on the porch and my girl walked up and I was like, yeah, that's about the breath of fresh air we needed.

Yeah that's about that's about enough.

Yeah that's about that's about enough.

Yeah, this conversation was thinning out.

Yeah, this conversation was thinning out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm gonna start trying to talk about feelings all because it's just like it's like too many men will expose you for having single mom traits.

Yeah, I'm gonna start trying to talk about feelings all because it's just like it's like too many men will expose you for having single mom traits.

One on one great with men, two three men? I got it. It's like twelve niggas in there.

One on one great with men, two three men? I got it. It's like twelve niggas in there.

Bro.

Bro.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Once it starts turning into like competitive male energy, I immediately sink to the back.

Once it starts turning into like competitive male energy, I immediately sink to the back.

Yeah I ain't got it.

Yeah I ain't got it.

I become beta so fast when it becomes like man competing about how much pussy they ate and how strong they are.

I become beta so fast when it becomes like man competing about how much pussy they ate and how strong they are.

It's like, that's how I know that you do because you said how much pussy they ate?

It's like, that's how I know that you do because you said how much pussy they ate?

Oh yeah, it's never even occurred to me that they're not they're not treating those nice ladies the way they deserve to be treating.

Oh yeah, it's never even occurred to me that they're not they're not treating those nice ladies the way they deserve to be treating.

Well you pussy though, right, But you made her come for sure, you made sure she felt safe afterwards though, Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got yours, but I'm sure she got hers. Yeah yeah, you texted the next morning, so it's pretty fun. I appreciate that right.

Well you pussy though, right, But you made her come for sure, you made sure she felt safe afterwards though, Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got yours, but I'm sure she got hers. Yeah yeah, you texted the next morning, so it's pretty fun. I appreciate that right.

Well for the listener, because we need to wrap this thing up. I hope this answer to your question with your black ass, and I hope that you you continue to enjoy what we're putting out. I'm glad you're here. Keep bringing more people on. Two months is crazy. We've been at it for a long time, so it's so nice to know that more people are finding us in discovering and becoming addicted to this bullshit.

Well for the listener, because we need to wrap this thing up. I hope this answer to your question with your black ass, and I hope that you you continue to enjoy what we're putting out. I'm glad you're here. Keep bringing more people on. Two months is crazy. We've been at it for a long time, so it's so nice to know that more people are finding us in discovering and becoming addicted to this bullshit.

Yeah, I appreciate it.

Yeah, I appreciate it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Maybe you could say my name next time.

Maybe you could say my name next time.

Yeah, his name's David. Yeah, maybe just reference it. Bory goes good. I likes nice. But you want to tell the people where they can find you. What cool shit you got going on?

Yeah, his name's David. Yeah, maybe just reference it. Bory goes good. I likes nice. But you want to tell the people where they can find you. What cool shit you got going on?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Cool guy jokes eighty seven on in mister Graham Patreon dot comback slash David Borie to buy my special Birth of a Nation with the g Also Dallas. I will be in Dallas April twenty fifth and twenty six. Come out and see me. It's gonna be a good time at the Dallas Comedy Club. I mean, I'm also gonna be at I'm gonna be at the West River Comedy Club in Rapid City, South Dakota this weekend. If people who listen to this are there, I would appreciate that as well. Wes River Baby pull on, come on, heck like, I ain't just getting nominated for a Webby.

Cool guy jokes eighty seven on in mister Graham Patreon dot comback slash David Borie to buy my special Birth of a Nation with the g Also Dallas. I will be in Dallas April twenty fifth and twenty six. Come out and see me. It's gonna be a good time at the Dallas Comedy Club. I mean, I'm also gonna be at I'm gonna be at the West River Comedy Club in Rapid City, South Dakota this weekend. If people who listen to this are there, I would appreciate that as well. Wes River Baby pull on, come on, heck like, I ain't just getting nominated for a Webby.

We on that Webby shit. That's right, we are nominated for a Webby, So please go and vote. I believe voting is open. You can vote for our episode with Moneue exchange for the Webby Awards. We don't know what happens if we win the Webby Award, but were starting idea. We're not fighting it. If you guys want to make us champions of the Webby East and as the ways, you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms.

We on that Webby shit. That's right, we are nominated for a Webby, So please go and vote. I believe voting is open. You can vote for our episode with Moneue exchange for the Webby Awards. We don't know what happens if we win the Webby Award, but were starting idea. We're not fighting it. If you guys want to make us champions of the Webby East and as the ways, you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms.

You can come see me live.

You can come see me live.

I'll be at Wise Guys in Salt Lake City April tenth, and then April seventeenth, I'll be at the Wise Guys in Las Vegas. And you can send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. You can tell us exactly what the ratio is of dark skinned de light skin chokes on this show at mymamapot at gmail dot com. You can leave us the voicemail at eight four four Little Moms, and most importantly, you can buy the merch. You can like, subscribe, rate, review, do all the things that help make this show more popular so that my dark skin jokes finally see the light of day they deserve.

I'll be at Wise Guys in Salt Lake City April tenth, and then April seventeenth, I'll be at the Wise Guys in Las Vegas. And you can send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. You can tell us exactly what the ratio is of dark skinned de light skin chokes on this show at mymamapot at gmail dot com. You can leave us the voicemail at eight four four Little Moms, and most importantly, you can buy the merch. You can like, subscribe, rate, review, do all the things that help make this show more popular so that my dark skin jokes finally see the light of day they deserve.

Do it all in Jesus' name. Bye, bitch, Like teenage girls.

Do it all in Jesus' name. Bye, bitch, Like teenage girls.

When you say teenage how are we talking? MOI?

When you say teenage how are we talking? MOI?

Fucking Mini RUL, miniyr Soul and mini episode, all the fucking mini episode, mini episode and all the fucking mini episode

Fucking Mini RUL, miniyr Soul and mini episode, all the fucking mini episode, mini episode and all the fucking mini episode