Doug shares tips for surviving the 4th of July picnic with family while avoiding arguments.

Listener questions and comments:

• Doug - At the family functions there is an emphasis on the drinking during the 4th. I can’t drink because my dad is an alcoholic so I want to know what I should do. (29:27)
• Jane - My son in law's father died from alcohol and I find that he drinks too much. What should I do? Should I say something? (38:42)
• Julie - For the 4th I always use leading questions like you do in the beginning of your show that are not threatening at the dinner table. (44:23)
• Judy - My husband was an alcoholic and I want to say having beer and wine around isn’t the solution if the problem is hard stuff. But prayer is the best thing to do. (46:16)

Resources:

Reasons we argue at family gatherings

1. Family knows where the hot buttons are
2. We tend to regress when we are around family
3. Holidays are loaded with expectations
4. The weather adds fuel to the fire

8 tips to avoid unnecessary arguments

1. Decide before you arrive, what person you want to be
2. Know your triggers – What topics usually get you hooked?
3. Stop trying to change people at the picnic table
4. Use some short boundary statements
5. Lower the temperature instead of raising it
6. Change the topic
7. Change the setting
8. Come up with a code word for you and your spouse to use