I am a 28 year old mother of 2 (a 2 and 4 year old).
I had been in a relationship with the father of my kids for +-9 years now.
The beginning was great as we were fairly young and not much was demanded or needed from
the both of us. Things started being serious and before I knew it, I was fully committed to my high
school sweetheart and the only man I ever shared a bed with.
During the relationship, he started cheating with girls he used to chill with claiming it was
his friends and nothing more. I caught him and he would always try to make it my fault as I was
not always available for us to meet, I come from a very strict background. I forgave the constant
Cheating because he would buy nice gifts for me, expensive ones too as his way to apologize.
We eventually had our 1st child together. I moved in (cohabiting) with him; things seemed
so perfect. As a 1st time mom I constantly visited home for my mom and family member’s
to assist with the child. This is where the cheating started all over again or let me say it never
really stopped. He just got better at lying while I was experiencing post-partum.
Every time I went home he would disappear on the phone, when I asked him he would be highly
defensive, ignore me or accuse me of not trusting him enough. When I got angry he would buy
New gifts to try win me over again. We never spoke about important things and every time I
tried he would be so aggressive towards me. I became scared as these conversations would
end in me being slapped and left to cry myself to sleep with a baby on my hands.
This pattern continued for a long time in the relationship. Before I knew it baby number 2 was
on his way. This is where I realize how oppressed this relationship is to me and I don’t know what
To do. He has now formed a very close bond with my family.
After finding out about a vacation he took with another woman at 8 months pregnant I packed and
went home. Soon after the birth, he walks in at my home with a car saying he bought it for me not
To struggle because I have 2 of his kids now. I accepted the gift but with a heavy heart.
I am fighting badly with my own family because they want me to go back to him. So much that
They invite him to the house for sleepovers and expect me to attend to all of his needs as the son
in law they admire so much
How do I convince them to be on my side?
Should I stay for the kids?
How do I let go of this anger I have towards him?
Was It wrong of me to commit at a very young age?
FROM THEMBALETHU