A crook tried to pull a Santa and it didn't end well. A teacher tossed a kid halfway across the room. Cameras are curbing prostitution. 

A toilet got clogged so bad it shutdown a school. Bath Salt Lake City. Apparently drinking on the job disqualifies you from workers comp. 

Drones are getting shot out of the sky. Don't mess with a hangry woman and her fries. A wheelie goes wrong at a parade. 

There's a female assassin named The Doll. A woman got impatient at the bank drive-thru. Donuts mistaken for a bomb. 

You know you're in the south when there's a mayor named Benji. Someone dumped some noggin' on a plane. A naked woman went on a mouthwash bender. 

A guy spent his Thanksgiving in a school with weed and dildoes. Video games cause people to do some crazy stuff. A guy hauled out his wang at a family restaurant. 

A lady went to jail instead of getting to eat Raising Canes. A heroic cop saves a pregnant lady after her brakes went out. Amateur medical procedures. 

A guy got $25,000 cash stolen while praying. Giving a fake name backfired. Don't leave your journal in a van you stole. 

A recap of all the terrible stuff that happened on Thanksgiving. A teacher fed her kids dog food. A guy went medieval at Wal-Mart. 

Assaulting middle school resource officers. Calling cops to help with math problems. Grabbing butts on E-Scooter. 

All the rich folks are getting robbed lately. The guy from Spaceballs robbed a bar in Lakeville. Never stab someone over pizza. 

More and more people are whacking it in inappropriate locations. Unfortunately, a lot of Minnesotans are shining laser pointers at planes. Don't ask this one guy for a heater. 

Nothing like going on a mail-stealing spree on meth. A guy threw some axes at the cops. Hidden cameras in the potty. 

A woman decided to go ahead and pretend to be a nurse. A science experiment sent a teacher and a student to the hospital. Drugs and teddy bears! 

A whole lotta pervs out there in the world. A car decided to park on top of a roof. Watch your genitals next time you climb a fence, friends. 

Hot pink purse heist. Free highway cash! Yet another guy gets busted by a real cop while impersonating a cop. 

A guy faked his own death and left his wife and kids behind. There was a fire...at the fire station. Hitting a speed bump while going 100-mph isn't going to end well for you. 

One of the most glorious examples of Instant Karma biting someone in the ass. PS5 Pro scalpers are taking a bath. Squatters in the crawl space. 

We've got a serial burglar up in Duluth. A 103-year old had a run-in with a deer. Throwing nails on the road for laughs. 

We say goodbye to a true internet legend and pioneer. Kids got shown some anime porn at school. A woman got stabbed over her new haircut. 

A guy in England set a record for getting dragged behind a motorcycle. Golf cart getaway. Don't sit on a box of lit fireworks. 

Some cops got busted for some happy endings. We got dildoes exploding. The folks at Fireball are now putting the tears of sports fans in their whisky. 

Yet another grown adult got busted for shining a laser pointer at an aircraft. Some dumbass managed to get a DUI hatty. Social media takes a few more victims with the latest viral trend. 

A poor woman got herself a turd bath at the casino. Billy Corgan's tea shop got effed up. A guy got himself rescued from a garbage truck. 

A man went to every Pizza Ranch in the US, and he's the hero we all need right now. A Disney employee went rogue. Imagine taking a dump and seeing a wild boar right in front of you. 

There's a horny 107-year old woman. A 93-year old tried and failed to kill his wife, twice. Some good ol' fashioned acid throwing. 

A man got revenge by making a beautiful Dick Mural. Shovel shoving showdown. A guy got his thumb bitten off by a damn monkey. 

A guy got his ass kicked by a Hot Pocket. Oceans 11 going down at Southdale. Everyone got diarrhea at a work party. 

"I'm not leaving until I see you bleed." A principal got in some trouble for holding the beer bong for students. Zamboni driving and beer drinking don't mix. 

They're TAKIN' OUR JOBBBS! A Minnesota woman stole a damn sheep. A not so funny version of Home Alone. 

A woman drove a golf cart right through a bar patio. Sometimes you just gotta let your phone go. A swordfish a surfer right through the chest. 

A woman is in trouble for shooting a guy right in the crotch. The world's youngest shoplifter. ATM Jackpotting is all the rage these days. 

Monkey fights at the Wal-Mart. A second grader crashed a school bus. Road commissioners are all the rage these days. 

Never rob a Marco. Skeleton as a passenger in the carpool lane. A cop got busted for running a brothel. 

A guy decided to park his SUV inside a massage parlor. Some interesting news about Ozzy and Van Halen. Lawyers going door-to-door to apologize. 

A woman, who owns seven continents, has a meltdown on the plane. A dude botched his parachute landing. A baby born at a microbrewery. 

Things got a little crazy at McDonalds in Sartell. Drugs hidden in the bra. A kid on a bike got a nice 4 mile ride on the hood of a car. 

Teacher got busted for drawing wieners on school papers. A pilot croaked mid-flight. Someone climbed a radio tower in Eagan (no, it wasn't Josh). 

Cookie Monster is up to no good. No more using the crapper on the clock. A guy got arrested after cops recognized him in a banana costume. 

A drunk dude takes a selfie in front of his flaming car. A criminal literally got in some deep crap. Are we gonna get some legal magic mushrooms? 

A lady had to land a plane out of nowhere. Don't cut in line at a pizza place. A cop in Toronto stole some booze. 

Description: Kids are terrible drivers. Firefighters trained on how to get a plunger out of someone's butt. A man fought some gas pumps. 

Not even the dog-walkers are safe from random acts of violence these days. Some guy is whizzing all over the place in Pasadena. A high-speed chase of...3mph. 

A principal didn't behave himself very well at a school dance. A kid got locked in an Amazon locker. A car went somewhere it wasn't supposed to go in Lake Minnetonka. 

There was a real-life incident that was comparable to the movie Speed. A drunk woman managed to drive her car onto a runway....twice. A guy tried to cheat the HOV lane. 

A monster truck driver went rogue. A naked guy at the gas station. A guy slipped his cuffs and went on a cop car joyride. 

A weatherman became a hero down in the hurricane. Monkeys are back in the news. Pennywise is roaming around your town. 

Everyone is pulling out their dongs in public. Some all-time stubbornness on display in Florida for the Hurricane. 

Someone stole some really expensive candles. MRI machine gobbled up a cop's gun. Some people got a little angry on the golf course. 

People really aren't handling rejection well in 2024. A cop got a DUI in a damn minivan. A guy pulled the ol' Cheddar Bob and shot himself in the leg.