Josh's News

Jacking at the mall. Fake break-ins on TikTok. Everyone is on something. 

Breaking into school. Porno clown. Pressure at the art fair. 

Cocaine in the classroom. Blow into the tube to start the car. Taking too long in the daycare bathroom. 

Never take candy from a stranger. Late fee for a prostitute. Eat my Gushers. 

Leaving your gun in the bathroom. Exposed at the drive-thru. Cranking it in the hotel hallway.  

Running over a kid on an e-bike. Shaking your fist at the young people. Scary teenagers. 

Chasing you with a drill. Screwdriver to the skull. I am God. 

Being woken up by dynamite. Cane violence. Stay off my lawn. 

Manifestos are typically a red flag. 2nd grade teacher overreacted. Getting the babies off the street. 

Exposed genitality. Bringing your anger to work. All-D. 

New Orleans is iffy. Poisoning your coworkers. Everyone is wasted.

Save the beagles! Out of respect. Grandma creampie. 

Setting your roommate on fire. The war on drugs got gross. Toddler and a bottle. 

Mummies, mommys and Minnesotans. Pilots meowing. Scream impersonator. 

They don't catch the smart ones. What does an ankle monitor do? Sound the sirens. 

Pokemon has gotten out of control. Crazy guy at the door. Hold my beer. 

Swiping on dating jobs while working. Dragging the wife behind the pickup. Drugs in bibles. 

Homemade pipe bombs. "Sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race." Keep it in your pants. 

Setting your workplace on fire for a raise. Everything is awful. Faces of Death. 

There's no internet in Wilmer. Stomach farts. Kayak as your getaway car. 

Naked grocery store beatdown. April Fools prank gone wrong. Pretending to be a cop. 

Nobody wants to get stabbed at the gym. Driving INTO the bar. Have a drink. 

You're a cone. Drinking on the lunch break. Your mother's tongue. 

Josh needs a hug. The teens are mobilizing. Keep it in your pants. 

Stop leaving your kids in cars. Impersonating an officer. Spiking a state cop.  

Spiders the size of your hand. The bugs are coming for your EYES. Paying for a handy. 

Cranking hog behind the wheel. Shaking hands with the milkman. Robo-puns. 

St Cloud is shady. Getting scammed out of your own home. Pooping in backpacks. 

Jesus has returned...as a bank robber. Your car just got stolen. Meth and a Costco hot dog. 

RentAHitman.com. Naked in the Ozarks. Everyone is hammered. 

Throwing human remains over the fence. Corpse abuse. Cornhole gone wrong. 

RIP to the legend Chuck Norris. Crushing crickets with your bare feet. Bus banging. 

DIck-Erson. Knife tag in the classroom. Bachelor Party got stabby. 

Mama beatdown. Mudd is a peeper. Getting twerked off. 

Wings that make you believe in God. Marrying your first cousin. Dixon Johnson. 

Driving a motorcycle with a toddler. Watching YouTube behind the wheel. Don't steal my dog, bro. 

Juan bad dude. Car abandoned on the railroad tracks. Gatorade tosser. 

Don't bring an axe to an MMA fight. Bring back the rear-naked choke. Horny at Wal-Mart. 

17 people were murdered while you were having sex. Gummies from grandma. Milf Manor. 

Someone take the laser pointer from grandpa. Catalytic converter crowd is back. DVS hold music. 

Jesus has returned as a wrestler. Liberating a pack of smokes. Hammer-based hospitality. 

Peeing in the classroom. Swearing in the classroom. Being drunk in the classroom. 

D.A.R.E. officer selling drugs. Four Lokos behind the wheel. Drunk at work. 

Drunk politician makes an ass of himself. Tools for a jewelry heist. Bang-bang situation. 

Fast Food First. Bitcoin is very confusing. The artistry of being a douchebag. 

Amateur veterinarian work. Bees Knees. A three-knife attack. 

Roommate from hell. Stealing trading cards with taco seasoning. Bad gas. 

Cameras in the showers. Tobacco ice cream. Drinking in homeroom. 

Faribault fire. Things got horny at the steak house. Watch yourself. 

The meth kept her up. Creepy janitor. Axes in the bedroom.