The Beltline International Raceway. He Ate the Booger. Soccer Time.

Torpedoes and Boss Jocks. Work Clones. Beer Cave Pooper. Good Doggy and The High Five. Babes In Space.

Would You Trade Your Pet for Cash. Guys Fall in Love First. Hump Day News.

JCP Deathtrap. Mind Eraser. The Boys Shoot Katy Perry to the Moon.

Totes abbrevs be hurtin' feels. We're dying everything but eggs.  No ball grabbing at 30k feet.  

Space turds. Those are special sniffing panties in my backpack. Lance's unicorn dish. 

They beat up the Easter Bunny, man.  Hot dog towers are all the rage. Danger vs Pringles. 

It's fill your shoe day at Schmubway. West Virginia, where we shoot our problems in the face.    The Y chromosome is disappearing! 

No, they aren't emotional support tigers.  I know you ain't gotta problem.  How to make a capital G. 

Hammer Haw.  Friggin' influencers are ruining everything. "Don't hurt my pet chicken."

Jean Claude Van oooooh noooooo.   Creepy DJs and 11 DUIs.   Calgon. 

The great meat caper.  Cat Chat tells you the right way to engage in play with your kitty cat.  Lee from Versus Me checks in! 

Dude, stop worrying about it.  La Mayo is my new thing. Can you hear me now?

Where are all these piss jugs comin' from? DeHooterization.  Truck Nutz Hysteria.  

The nastier the better = dating in my 20s.  They blurred out the Renoir tits.  You lost your job for a damn corn dog. 

I was giving away my DNA for free for a long time. Bring back scared straight!!! Don't make eye contact with the Manatee. 

Can we stop with the pet kangaroo crap?  Time share troubles put you in a Mexican prison.   They're sellin' your DNA and you're givin' it away for free.

Now get some stink on your hang down. The Pirate's Booty guy is friggin' nuts! RIP George Foreman. 

Bro, give me my ear back.  Tip your local DJ 25%.  Now we're just totally bitchin' out for tattoos? 

Just say no to the yuge gas station.  Frank is also the pony. Stupid AI. 

Hulk sighting, brother.   That is not how astronauts train.  Lessons learned in the shared trailer home bathroom. 

Yes, you have to pay half. National Sloppy Joe Day.  The dog threw up a couple toes.  

You have $50 million but no boner.  You've been Gorske'd.  Journey takes the power out. 

Mr Clean and Ms Dookie.  Pucker that butthole when you fly, brah.  Wombat bitch. 

So many piles of poo to dodge.  Pie scandal er no?  Baton straight to the head! 

You don't have to kill your spouse, you can get a divorce.  Parenting fail at Disney.  You'll pry these girl scout cookies from my cold dead hands. 

It was the friggin' orange sauce this whole time.  You don't have to care about everything dude!   Dumpster Fyre Festival 

Spin Doctors take an unexpected & unwarranted beating.   The art of nose picking. Pringles as a weapon. 

Board game cheater scum!  Nobody has to explain their mom jeans to you. Check for skids. 

MUFF International - cumming soon.  Ope too much Eye contact.  Soon Bang and her massage parlor.  

Some ppl just can't pass the eff out.  WTF is happening in the drive thru lane?   The great ranch war of 2025. 

Take a right at Rio.  Real life kung fu hero!  Designer fruit sounds delicious. 

Billy McFarland is back and dang it he's gonna make money.  The cat took a giant dump at 3 am and woke my ass up.  Train heists, who knew? 

Gambling is not for everyone.  Is Hooters a thing of the past?   Drunk deja vu.

Everyone is irritated.   Dragged or drug? Buying concert tickets feels like a circle jerk these days. 

The Slit.  I'm not some sort of frog milker. PIzza Pthursday.  

National Airboat Day.   Chicken chat.   Your ideal work week. 

Step brother lovin'.  We're upside down, that's not good.  Lego thefts are a bfd! 

This is eggsausting.  It will be the best bridge, ask anyone.  President's day mania!!!!

Use your damn blinker!!!  A whale swallowed a kayaker and we're all terrified to kayak now.  I still don't know what joke Danger was trying to make about dildos.  

Did you know Chubby Checker protested outside the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame?  Margaritas be the nectar of the gods.  World Radio Day. 

A garlic bath bomb is the WORST idea.  Hug it out bro. The psychic above the flooring store cannot cast a love spell for you.   

Kid Rock is high maintenance.  Dude needs to stop drinkin, cuz he's gotta history!  National guitar day!!! 

Don't go to the doctor on the cruise ship!!!  Boy Scouts rebranded.  Be part of the movement.  

How many people fell yesterday? Worst jobs to be working naked.  Kids swearing. 

Johnny's perfect day is pretty damn funny.  Maybe you really should sleep on it.  The friggin' owl died.  

That bitch let the dogs out.  Grab a titty, nut, get out. Say less.

Lego Lust is a real thing.  To fly or not to fly. Cat Chat has the key to communicating with your kitty cat. 

Yoga is a lot like pooping.  A soulmate for a mil? The dreaded pap. 

Bologna has always been there for me.  Danger's belly button is changing. Thickwood predicts.