Hey, friends, it's me Megan Divine, host of Hereafter With Megan Divine. Season two is coming up soon. It'll be here before you know it. But in the meantime, while you're waiting, I wanted to introduce you to a couple of shows I think you're going to like. You might even get some new favorite podcasts out of it. So give these episodes a listen and stay tuned for the announcement of the launch of season two coming soon. See you soon, friends, Never laugh, Never laughs. Little food for yourself life. Oh it's pretty, Bay, It's pretty beautiful, beautiful laugh a little more kicking four with Amy. So I'm sitting here with Kimberly from a little big town, and she's joining me for all four things. We're gonna talk grief, wellness, comfort, food, and gratitude. And you know, starting off with grief might seem somber, but you know, Kimberly, you're someone that understands grief from the sudden loss of your first husband and fertility struggles. You know firsthand what it's like to go through hard things and emerge stronger so that the pain wasn't in vain. So I know a lot of my listeners are grieving for various reasons, especially this last year, and Kimberly, I thought, by you sharing some of your story, you'll offer comfort and hope to those that aren't sure how they'll ever make it to the other side. Okay, I was married before to a man named Steve. I'm married to Steve's in my life, both from Ohio, so weird, both from just a few miles of each other. But my first Steve I met in college and we were I was married really young. I was only twenty one when I got married. We had a great marriage, was just completely and utterly in love. We moved to Nashville about seven years into our marriage, and we lived here. I was breaking into the music business. We started a little big town Karen and I did, and that was all going great. We we hadn't Boondocks had not come out yet, but we were working super duper hard. And then I lost Steve suddenly. We were on a radio tour. We were at the Indianapolis radio station singing a couple of songs, trying to get people to start playing Boondocks, and I hadn't heard from Steve in about twenty four hours, which was really really weird because we normally talked on the phone a whole lot, especially when I was out of town. So while we were at the radio station, UM some buddies of his went to our house to check and see if he was okay, because I hadn't heard from him, and I was really really worried and he wasn't. And I got the call back at the radio station. Karen was with me, and we were both in the bathroom. I was already worried, sick, already who something was not right. He had passed away in our home. The word shock is not enough of a word, you know, It's not strong enough word to explain that horror that I heard on the phone when someone told me he was gone. Karen was with me in the bathroom. She called out for Jimmy, who was right next door, and he came in. And I can feel like my heart is racing right now, just feeling the horror of that news, and then looking at them saying no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, just complete denial. No, no, this is not true, this is not true. Well it was true, and we all got in a van. At this time, we were still driving ourselves around in a van. And we got in a van and drove ourselves back home. We had been married for fourteen years, and it was something I never expected to be a widow in my I was in my early thirties at the time. I never thought about that life. When you make a plan for the future. I had a lot of plans, but I never you know, even entertained that thought. But he passed away and we had, you know, you go through the regular services for the funeral, and then we buried him in Georgia, where I'm from, um right next to my grandparents, because I I wanted him to always be near me. And then I was like, okay, now what now, what do I do? I decided to come back home to hear Nashville with my dog, just me and my dog, and we drove back home and I walked in the door of my house here and it was almost a magical haven for me at the time. I was comforted there. I had great memories there. I felt loved and warm, and and then I began the journey of what it means to grieve. In those first few days, grief is so harsh and strong and loud, and there's everybody around you trying to help, and it's it's wonderful having all the people around you. But then when you begin to grieve, the next week and the next week and the next week, everybody else's lives start to alone. But your world has literally come to a screeching halt. And so of course I still had people checking on me, my parents, my my parents checked on me all the time, my sister, my brother, my bandmates. They literally physically carried me some days. We decided to go back out on the road, probably two or three weeks after Steve died, to keep promoting Boondocks, and they left that up to me, you know, they said, we can go or we cannot go. And I felt like Steve would wanted me to do that, and I felt like I needed to try to put one foot in front of the other. And I felt responsibility to them, to my bandmates, who, you know, this is also their career. And so we set out to get back on the road and we did. And grief is so unpredictable, especially once you get into the months after your loved one's death, like two and three and four months and then six months and all the firsts in my experience and most people that I talked to. The firsts are horrific. Every first, every first birthday, your birthday without them, their birthday without them, um Easter, Christmas, July four. St. Patrick's day, every feet is so very very hard. But once you get through those first something gets lighter. Your your grief latins up a little bit and where it's never ever, ever easy. I think about Steve almost almost every day. But you know, I've healed from my grief and I have been so restored and God has given me, Oh my goodness, he has just restored me in so many ways. He's given me babies and a husband who takes care of me and loves me so so so good. And I've come through my grief. And like you said earlier, I don't know if we just this is when we were talking or if you said this on the podcast, but it becomes who you are and it's okay. Now. It's okay because I can take what I walked through and hopefully help other people walk through the same thing, different circumstances, but the same grief. When you lose someone that you desperately love, the grief is that's that's the commonality. You've you've lost part of yourself, part of myself actually died with him, you know, because it'll be something I never get back, my my relationship with him. But I'm here to say you will make it. It's hard. There are days when you think there's no way I'm going to get through this day. You will, you will, and there are people around you to help you. And then when you get on the other side of the excruciating grief, you're gonna help some other people, right because what you don't want it to be lost, or of course we don't want certain things to happen to us so that we then can be there for others. But if it happened to you and then you made it through, that is where you can show up for somebody else. Or you don't want it to be wasted, yeah, in a way, and then yeah, you have these other blessings that have shown up in your life. And had you been stuck in the grief, you may not have been open to the next Steve. That's exactly right. And also when you're able to help someone through through grief, that gives purpose, That gives purpose. In my other Steve's death, you know, there are good things that have come out of my grief for that loss, and and that gives purpose to that loss. And you mentioned Karen being in the bathroom with you and then Jimmy coming right in, And I think family doesn't have to be your biological family. You are blessed to have both. But some people are like, Wow, I don't really have people I can lean on family wise or whatnot. But look around who's in your life? Who can you be there for and who can be there for you? And try to cultivate those relationships and connect with people and create that. And yeah, you're double blessed because you have your family, but then you have your little big town family too, and I think that that's a super special relationship. And y'all are genuine. Y'all are the real deal. We have some groups or bands or people that come in on the Bobby Bone Show from time to time and we're like, no way they get along. You know that whole thing was just fake. There's no way they're all friends. But you guys, y'all are. Y'all are family. We we are, Yes, we are friends, but we are family most definitely. I couldn't have gotten through that grief without Karen and Jimmy and Philip, there's no way. They literally walked me along and and babied me. And you know, I could not have done it without him. I'm so grateful. And it also made us stronger. It caused us to become a family. Well, and then you know, you met Steve number two. Do people ever think, because if you're married to Steve and then they knew you were married to Steve back then, that this is the same. See, I'm sure they do. But I don't call him Steve. I call him Schlap because our last name is Schlapman, so is schlap He slapped to me, he slapped to my family, he slapped to my friends. Yeah, it would get a little bit weird. It's funny. I was going to a grief counselor after Steve Dad and I went for a long time and when I started, Dayton Schlap and I told her his name was Steve, and she's like, oh, you'll you know, you'll never have to worry about calling him the wrong name, because it's not like you fell out of love and then I had to find new love, so it's like you're still madly in love with your Steve. And said, yeah, I could see where Yeah, you might call him Steve give his name was Tom, because you're that's right, You're it's not something that you This is not what you asked for. But I'm sure obviously Schlap seems amazing had has been very probably another part of helping you with the grief, because there's no way that's easy, even entering another relationship and being the person that's like, oh, gosh, she's still in love with somebody else too. Yeah, I know that must have been weird for him, but well, first of all, we were already friends. He was on a tour that Little Big Town did way back in the beginning of a Little Big Town. We did a mall tour where we we signed up people to vote. It was called Love Your Country Vote, and he was our stage manager. So we were already friends, and so he kept calling me like so many of my friends did after Steve died, just checking on me. But then Schlap never quit calling me. He has kept on and on, and we eventually fell in love. But I know you're right, he must have been like, oh, she's still in love with this other man. But but maybe we're falling in love. But what I loved about our fallen in love is that he allowed me to talk about my other Steve and he wasn't threatened or anything by the relationship that we had. And he always told me, please always talk about Steve. Anything you want to say about Steve, please always feel comfortable. And I love that about him. Also, I have to tell you, I think my Stephen Heaven sent Schlap to me, and I think he sent Daisy to me as a wedding gift because Schlap and I got pregnant on our honeymoon with Lazy and before I had been trying for almost the whole fourteen years I was married to Steve Rhodes to have a baby and it wasn't working out. And I think he got up there with God and he said, this woman wants a baby. Please let this mean while win and give to her and give her a baby. And by George, we got pregnant on the honeymoon right away there well, And I mean, that's another stage of grief in your life, is trying to get pregnant for so long. And I know what that's like, buying pregnancy tests after pregnancy tests and then constantly being negative. And I know several of my listeners have gone through fertility struggles. So what encouragement would you have for anyone listening that might be going through that. That's such a specific grief also, and often we have to grieve that in private, whereas when you lose someone, people are at your doorstep, you know, how can I help? How can I help? But when we grieve, whether it's a pregnancy that never happened that we kept buying pregnancy tests for, I mean, how many did we buy and then, or whether it's a miscarriage or whatever it is, I feel like that grief is a little bit different because often it's sometimes even there's a little bit of shame in it. Why can't I get pregnant? Why can't they get pregnant? And I can't? Why why can I not carry a baby? Or you know, So, not only is it a loss, it's also can be embarrassing and in secret, and that want isolating. Yeah, And I want people to know there's people all around you who have been through miscarriage or infertility. It's everywhere right now. Don't hesitate to reach out and say me too, it's happening to me too, or there are people all around you who will love you. You You just have to speak up and y'all had Daisy. But then how many years later you've adopted Dolly? Yeah? Nine years? So you got the get the wedding gift from number one, which was Daisy. But so in the nine years where y'all trying to get pregnant again, yes, okay, and then you got the adoption call, you decided to do adoption. What about fertility treatments? Did you take that route? Yes? We didn't. Okay, so too. When Daisy was too we started trying again and I soon after that had a miscarriage, my first miscarriage. And then we started to dabble in fertility where you know, you can take some some drugs to help you clomado. Yes, it makes your eggs more attractive. Thank you. I didn't know how to say that. I had to figure out the easy way to say it because I talked about on the Bobby Bones Show. Because the clomad literally made me psychotic. I had quit taken it. It was bad. I was so emotional. I showed up to work one day in Bobby and lunchbox made fun of my sweater. It wasn't even that bad. They would did a whole bit on Arable on with sweater, and I like dumb and dumber like stuff that looking back on was just silly and ridiculous. But I cried and was basically threatening to quit, like I hit this job, I can't even come. I mean it was floodgate to your I was super like, I almost quite my job over a sweater. I mean, so I wasn't rational, Yeah, but you did clumb it and lots of other things, which thank you for sharing two about that. I don't want to glass over about the miscarriage part two, and you being willing to share your story because that will allow somebody else hearing it too now to be like, you know what, there is no shame. There is nothing wrong with you or your husband for that matter. Men feel a lot of shame too from it. And it's just not the case. Well, I didn't tell my story for a long time, but then I decided, especially when I wrote the book about that I just released last Christmas, about Adopted Dolly, I thought that it was important to share the story of infertility, which was a seven year battle. I mean, we tried literally for seven years to have a baby, and I just decided, you know what, if I can share that and and help one woman not lose hope, then that'll be worth it. And so that's why I decided to start talking about it. Yeah, we did all the infertility treatments you can do all of them, and lost those also, But then we always wanted to adopt. We always wanted to and then the first time we lost one, and I thought, you know what, We're gonna do it again. We're gonna try again. The second one, I was like, my heart and I don't know if I can do that again. So we thought, well, maybe it's tom for adoption, and maybe this is the time. And so that's when we started that process. And then you wrote a Dolly for Christmas, because you literally got Dolly for Yes, which is such a good book. I I read it to my son after you sent me a coffee, and it was it's so great. I encourage you. Even though it's a Christmas story, you can read it any time of the year. And I think, whether your kids adopted or not, it's such a very simple way to even explain adoption and bring it up with your children, because whether they're adopted or not, they may have friends to end up adopted, and just helping them understand full picture like how this whole thing works. And it's a great conversation starter. So I appreciated it a lot. Thank you. Also, you know, Daisy, I think it's a story also about just don't give up. Do not give up. Little Daisy prayed for five years for a baby. Every day she prayed and believed. That's another thing. You got a dream, believe in it, believe it can happen. Don't give up. And Daisy did that. Daisy, that is another good part of the book that yes is applicable no matter what time of year, and even if you're an adult, like we need to have that childlike vision. Yeah, and believe. And the thing is, we don't know where that miracle is coming from or when it's coming. Just don't give up the hope that it is coming in some way. There's going to be a miracle out there for you, some way, somehow, which is another just to bring the family element back into this piece of like family comes in all different ways. It may not come the way you and I thought. Yep, I mean you got Daisy, but I always thought I was going to get pregnant and I wanted four kids. I mean, my sister has four kids. Four pregnant, and so I thought, well, I mean, this is gonna be easy, no problem. I'm gonna have a whole basketball team. Are great and it never was happening for me, and family looks very different now than I ever thought it would. But that's okay. The grief I went through, and all those hard moments trying to get pregnant, thinking maybe I was pregnant, and then having your friend call right after you get a negative that I've been pregnant again, You're like, okay, I'll be there. When's the shower? You know, I totally know, And so all those moments once you can. Of course, none of us have a thirty thousand view what do they call that? This birds? I feel none of us have like oh from thirty thou feet. It's really easy to like give someone advice you know, about their life or see what's going on. And I feel like sometimes we need to do that with ourselves. It's like back up and be like, Okay, I was praying for a baby for so long or to get pregnant, and I was getting angry with God even but had he answered my prayer then now I wouldn't have steven sentence to share us. Once I got pregnant, my plan was to leave the show right away, And not that that takes precedence over anything like career wise, but still part of your big picture where God wanted you win and what you the journey you were supposed to be on. And it's like, Okay, well now I know that, Yeah I went through that, but I'm gonna appreciate that grief to celebrate the joy that I now have. That's right. I think that's so important because when you're in the middle of the grief, no matter what it is, if it's a loss of a loved one, loss of pregnancy, loss of a dream, you have to remember there's a reason and you're gonna see someday you're gonna go, oh, that's why that happened. You have to belo leave that will happen. And it's super duper hard being right in the middle of it. It's so hard. Yeah, we're not like saying this is easy anyway, but it's just encouragement to that once you do get on the other side of it, you can breathe if you're willing though, And that's that's the encouragement is. Sometimes we get stuck and it's like, we gotta keep going. What what keeps you going? Is it other dreams that you have? Is it people that come into your life like slap? Is it friends that are like family? What is it that's going to help you? You know? Faith wise? What can you rely on? Mind, body, and spirit? What are you doing for yourself? Which that's what I want to get into next with you. It's more of your wellness, like what what does that mean to you big picture? And what do you do for yourself specifically when it comes to those things mind, body, spirit? We'll do that next, Okay. So Kimberally is consistently the sweetest person in the world, Like, no matter where I've seen her, whether it's in the parking lot somewhere at our lash place we get our flash is done at the same place or at work, like I see you at different functions or in the studio or wherever, and consistently always super sweet. But this is you. You're what are you on the angiogram? By the way, I wonder if we were going to talk about that. I'm Anne, You're a nine. Okay. I hate conflict and I just want people to be happy with me, and they're every whatever is going on? What are you Well, I don't really know for sure. I just know that I'm tested as a four, but then also been verbally tested and they said I was a three. But I don't really know. I don't I don't know enough about it, but I am beginning to learn about it, and it is helping me figure out myself. Yeah, I think that's the purpose, because yeah, what motivates you to do X Y Z. Yeah, I mean, we all can do certain things, but we might be doing it for different reasons totally, and it's so interesting. And so why are you so nice all the time? I just want you to like me. Okay, that's that's a good reason. Really, I don't know. I mean, I'm just that wasn't a real you don't answer that question. I'm just I think it's awesome that you have that sweet spirit and not everybody has it. I don't have it, And not to say that at home, you probably don't have different personalities that come out. Or I just want you to record when you're mad and post it somewhere. That's hilarious. I can't get mad. I can get mad sometimes, but I don't know. I feel like my parents have a lot to do, had and have a lot to do with my outlook, you know, and they raised me. My parents were amazing. We grew up in this little, tiny town. My parents were My mom was a school teacher, my daddy was a telephone company worker, and they worked so hard and they loved us so good. And we've had very very strong faith. And they taught me to never judge someone else by how they might be acting, because you don't know what they're going through, and just to try to spread sunshine and joy and lift people up and that that that makes the world a better place. And I love that. I love that reminder too of the grace we should have on ourselves and for other people. Whether it's a friend or the person checking us out at the grocery store that might be being rude or whatnot, it's like, okay, no big deal, Like I have no idea what they're going through right now, or maybe even that celebrity that that, you know, we get celebrity phone calls on the Bobby Bone Show sometimes of like, what's the celebrity you met out in public? That was a total jerk kind of thing. Trust me, y'all, are not it? Little big towns always nice, always, but it's like, you know, they may have been having a bad day. It's and it's just such a bummer that they're a public figure, right, so then it's a hundred times worse than the grocery store clerk that nobody's probably going to really think twice if they were in a bad day. But it's just having that grace and compassion for the people that might be going through stuff. I feel like I'm mentioning this book so much lately, but and we're gonna I want to get into mind, body, spirit, like what wellness is for you in just second. But maybe you should talk to someone. Have you read that? And maybe I should know it now. I haven't read it, but that actually good book. But it's I'm going to be interviewing the author soon and Lori Gottlib and I'm super pumped about that. But she's a therapist that also is in therapy, and she kind of goes back and forth with that, but she tells different stories from her clients, and some of them, one in particular, I don't like it all in the beginning, and then once you hear some of his therapy sessions and you really get to the root of why he's kind of a jerk. It's like, oh my gosh, well, no, wonder he's hurting. And so it's like for everything, even in therapy I've been doing to be a better mom and be a better wife and be a better person. It's like, Okay, don't focus on the behavior, focus on the emotion that's causing it hurt. Because it's easy to have your day. It's easy when somebody's rude kind of like could ruin your whole day. But if you can make yourself and it's not always easy, but if you can make yourself go, h I wonder what what happened to them that made them act that way today? And maybe whisper a little prayer and maybe then you're uplifted and they are too, hopefully yeah, And then like you your goal is like you see people was like, what is this the moment that I can be joy in their life? So you're intentional about that, which I'm glad you shared that about your parents too. They raised you that way. I don't think Probably you wake up every day and you're like, okay that you know, but but it seems it's important to you. It is your intentional about that, but also it do you probably just have sweeter blood? Um? Okay, So I love the reminder. Yeah, I love that your parents are like that. I love the reminder to have gracing and passion for people and then to spread joy to them and maybe say a little prayer. Okay, So what do you do for yourself mentally, physically, spiritually to keep yourself on that track? Well, I'll just start since you said mentally first, I'll start there. I'm gonna be honest. I'm not as gracious to myself as I am to other people, and I'm working on that. I have a little bit of an inner critic who can be kind of ugly sometimes, and I'm working on stopping that inside myself. I don't I'm not sure where that comes from. Maybe a lot of people have that, but you know, I can have ugly little sentences come in my head about myself, not about anyone else. But it's just judgment upon myself if I feel like I failed at something or I did something wrong, even in the tiniest little things. Uh. This morning, Uh, Dolly's room is near the care bedrooms, near the kitchen, and we have to get up so early for Daisy school that I'm always telling Daisy shoo happy, real quicky, real quick because we don't want Mike Dolly up because that child needs her sleep. So this morning I was like, Daisy, we gotta be quiet. And then I dropped this very loud pan in the floor and it reverberated all over the place, and in my head, I was like, oh, and I'd just being really mean to myself in my head. And then I was like, wait a minute, I've just recently read something that says, when ugly thoughts come to your head about yourself, immediately tell yourself the opposite. So immediately this morning I was like, oh, I am smart, I am a good mom. I was cooking my kids eggs. That's a good thing. You know. Immediately tell yourself the positive instead of listening to that nasty little voice in your head. So this year I'm working on that. I'm gonna do better. I'll piggyback off of that with Cat Defodus. She's on my podcast network. R podcast is called Unique Therapy and it's really good, but she has said something similar at times where you know, we have the lies in our head and we need to shut them down with like Okay, that's that's a lie. It's not true. But just as you're saying, she said. But instead of just ignoring it and saying it's a lie and not believing it, how about you just go ahead and repeat to yourself over and over what is true, what is true? If that's not true, what is true, and then start speaking the truths that you are a good mom and you were you know, that's basically the same thing. So I'm just affirming your your mental work that you're doing. There. I love that. Yes, okay, so that's something mentally. What about physically physically? Well, um, at the beginning of the pandemic, I used to be a runner many many years ago, and then I started having schintzplants really bad, so I to stop. So I did other things in the meantime. But last year I started running again, like in in April. But I've quit now, that's okay. My girls have gotten so busy, they're going all different directions. I feel like Laugh, even though we're not on the road a little big town and we're not able to do our regular you know, shows and tours, I feel like Laugh has gotten so busy again, and so I've I've got I've backed off of that, but I want to get back to running again. But I like to I like to do the Bar method. I know you know about bar and there's this workout online that you can do whether you have five minutes or thirty minutes or forty five minutes, and I really I try to squeeze in those at least the five or ten minute one every day if I can. And I don't make it every day, which is fine, which is fine, that's fine, that is that's fine. But if any if your brain tries to tell you otherwise, that's not true. What is true is you're awesome and you're strong, and you're you're running it. You're running, you're running around being them am oh girl, I am running all the time and super successful businesswoman all the things. And then what about spiritually? Spiritually, I love to get up before everybody else does in my house, no matter if we have to, I have to get up super duper early these days. But I want to get up before everybody else does because I like to have about a half hour at least where I can. I'll The first thing I do is I get up and turn on my coffee maker. And grab my glasses because I can't see if I don't, and and sit down on my couch with my cup of coffee, and I start talking to God. And I first I always try to say what I'm thankful for. Some days, if I sit on that couch and and some things aren't going too well, I'll I'll find myself immediately saying here's what I need, and help me here. But what I really try to do is sit down and name some things that I'm really grateful for, which you are so great at that. But well, no, I'll have guests do it, and I because and then I encourage other people to do it as a reminder for me to do it too. So I think it starts us off. It starts us off in a good It's like, okay, I'm gonna restart. I'm gonna press the restart. I'm gonna start by going, I'm happy for this, I'm thankful for this, I'm thankful for this. And then from there, if I want to talk to God about something else, you know, I do, or I'll sit and read for a little bit and try to I always want to make myself better, so I've start my morning's really trying to focus on the good and finding the good in everywhere that I can. And I'm kind of addicted to that time. I love it. And when I don't have it, if i've you know, decided to I'm gonna sleep in extra thirty minutes, then I miss it. I miss you know, those days. But I have a super strong faith too, And God has brought me through you know, literal hell on earth, and He's brought me to the other side, and his grace has been just so good to me. Yeah, well, there you go. Mind body spirit, which I didn't mean to imply with the physical the body that it needed to be like a workout. Just for clarification for anybody else listening if you're trying to evaluate your own mind body spirit, is that yes, we can take care of our bodies in other ways, but that might be making some amazing cookie recipe and eating it. That's like physically what your body needed. And uh, which, speaking of Kimberly made me cookies. And I have a funny story about these cookies. Kimberly, you don't even know it yet. Okay, first of all, they look amazing. I have them right by me. I want to eat one. Right now, but I'll wait. So you sent me a text that said, hey, like, I want to make you and your family cookies, but I want to make sure there's no allergies. So I thought, and this will also give people some behind the scenes into like even the Bobby Bones show and how we do show prep and how it would be cool to talk about how Kimberly texted saying I want to bake you cookies. So here's what happened. I got the text, and you know it was it was a Sunday, so I thought, well, I might forget about this, so I email it to myself for show prep, and in the subject line I put prep, Well, I have Shannon who helps me in life in general. Just keep all my ducks in a row and have everything, so I see see Shannon. Right. But all I did is coffee and paste your note that said, Hey, I'm excited to see you tomorrow. I want to bake you cookies. Do you have any allergies? So it's Sunday, I am going to see Shannon on Monday. She didn't see that the subject line said prep like she didn't because what I wanted to do was make sure I sent that in as prep to the Bobby Bones show for Bobby to bring up, Oh, Kimberly made you cookies, right, Like, how sweet is she? So then we can talk about you. So that's that story show prep talk. But that's why I sent it. Well, then I get a reply from Shannon. She said, oh my gosh, Amy, that is so sweet. She's like, my family doesn't have any she read it. I did not say it was a text from you, because really it wasn't for her to worry about. I just didn't want her to let me. She could maybe remind me, Oh yeah, don't forget to prep that Kimberly wanted to make you cookies so thin. I read the email and I'm thinking, oh no, Shannon thinks that I'm making her cookies. And she went into this whole thing about how she's typically dairy free and like because they have to be in her family and that I guess, I don't know. I need to see if her sister is staying with her right now, because and she's like, but my sister she's gluten for like. It was this whole thing and I thought, oh my gosh, like, either I need to bake some cookies real quick and happened, but I decided to just own it and I replied back right away and I was like, okay, so this is awkward. Um, I wasn't gonna bake you cookies at all. That's from Kimberly, So that, Hilary is a side note about about that. But well, thank you for the cookies, and well thank you for sharing with us what wellness and a mind body spirit kind of way looks like for you. I think people like having the inside scoop on that, and then I think it's important too, especially still kind of the first of the year, But no matter what time of the year, it is like, sit down and reflect, what are you doing for yourself? Maybe it's not going to look exactly like what Kimberly does or what I'm doing, but my own bodied spirit, the connection of that is so important. So what does that look like for you on the daily? Ask yourself that and then maybe wake up, make some coffee and think about it. Okay, So the last thing we talked about your awesome cookies that you made me. What kind are they? I haven't even had a bite yet. They're sugar cookies, but they have all an extract in them and that's like your secret, touch secret. Okay, I love that. Well, you have your oh Gussie cookbook, and you have your your line at Cracker Barrel, and you do your cooking videos on Instagram, which I love. They're so adorable and all the things. So share with us a go to recipe that just puts a smile on your face or somebody else's face, or is that warm hug that comfort like if you want to make it, um and we can share it. If you say it and it's out there, then I can put it up at radio amy dot com and people can go check it out. Yeah, it's definitely out there. It's gonna have to be chicken and dumplins because not just the dish itself, but growing up my mama made chicken and dumbling cheese. Still does, but I mean they are out of this world. And not only is it just something that is put in a bowl and eat, but it means something deeper to me. It's a son of love. Anytime anybody's got anything to celebrate, or it's somebody's birthday, or if if we're coming home to Georgia from Nashville, Mama will make a huge pot of chicken in the numblings. It's how she loves on people. If somebody you know in her church is sick or broke their leg or something, she's going to show up with a pot of chicken and numblings because that's how she loves on people. And so I like to make that dish now. And I don't compare mind to hers. Minds a little bit different because I could never make them as good as she does. But I love to make those for people because I feel like it's like a it's like a little hug um when you know somebody needs just a little bit of an uplift. I like to make them chicken and numblings. And I like to make them for my family too, because because they love them. And well, we're going to get the recipe and we'll put it up so I'll test it out see how it goes with my family. It already sounds amazing. I think of my grandma when you say chicken and dumplings, or maybe even my great grandma. She was the one that had a recipe that lived in Alabama. I remember going to visit my grandma and that's what we would have, and it was a labor of of love, So what got you into cooking? Clearly that's one of your It's not an official love language, but I feel like food is what is your love language? By the way, do you know? I don't know, except that I think it is cooking. I do know, well the have you ever done the five love languages? Like, I feel like a long long time ago, years ago, and I don't remember. Okay, what's yours? Minus words of affirmation? That means you want to hear words of affirmation? You won't hear people love you and you're good and wonderful. Don't keep it keep it coming. I mean, I know you're not conflimenting right now, but more not like compliments, but like if you've recognized like from you know, my husband, it's helpful if I hear things from him, but for him it's acts of service. So if I make him coffee in the morning, that's huge for him. You know, other people might be gifts, but for me, even at work, Uh, if I do something that was appreciated or I did a good job at something, hearing that I did good fills me up to where I'm motivated to continue to do more. Bobby, don't pass that stuff out like candy, don't give me, don't get wrong, But I also appreciate that because then I appreciate it even more. And I don't want someone just to firming me just because that's my love language, especially at work, but probably at home. You need that though, So anyway, love language. Food is an honorary mention of a love language. But what caught you into cooking and being so good at it wanting to share it with others? Well, I grew up watching my mom and my grandmother's cook They were incredible cooks and literally standing on a stool. And the first thing I ever remember helping my mama with was biscuits. She made biscuits almost every night for supper, and um, I'd get to hold the jug of milk and I'd get to add the milk in, and she would say, okay, go ahead, go ahead, w wo wo wo wo wohoa, I remember, you know, she would stop me quickly. But I had an innate desire for music and cooking. I've always loved the two, and and I like to take care of people through food. And then you know, I started cooking more and more, and over the years I just found that it's a way to really love on people. And then I got an opportunity to do a cooking show that was so much fun. I loved it so much and I want to do it again so bad. But then when the pandemic started, I thought, hey, I think I'm just gonna start making some cooking videos. So that's when you started putting them. That's when I started put them on Instagram, and people seem to enjoy it, and and so I've just kept doing it, and I love doing it because I love to cook. And I also have kind of a little problem with dishes and glassware and stuff. I love, love, love love dishes, so that's also really a big part of it for me. I also like to prep my stuff in pretty bowls and with pretty utensils, and then I like to serve it and pretty stuff. So that's all, you know, when it's all kind of the same thing for me. And that's probably why you came out with the line that it was exciting if someone approached you or you had the idea to do align with Cracker Batroll and have that stuff there. My sister is a lot like you. It's very much into the presentation and the dishes and everything looking that way the Thanksgiving before the pandemic, we have twenty three people at our house. But thank Thanksgiving, and I thought, I'm not going to do dishes for twenty three people. And I ordered really pretty plastic where like it was from far away. You might think it was real, but it wasn't. It's disposable and says why. And then I got even silver that kind of looked real from far away but it was plastic. Well. No, my sister, she came in town and she's like, no, no, no, no, I can't no, no. She would not allow it. She was like, food tastes better when it's on really cute stuff, especially at Thanksgiving. I mean, if it was Friday night pizza night showing and made a big deal. But I was like, okay, fine, if you want to take over this, fine, Martha Stewart, you go right on ahead, you figure this out. And sure enough she did, and I gotta say it did feel special. There was something about it. I was like, Okay, I'm glad that she stepped in and made this call. It's totally the opposite with me and my sister, completely the opposite. Alan used the real stuff and my sister, who cares right I just used the plastic. It's not that big of a deal, I know, but I'm like, oh, but it's so much prettier if you do it on the real plate. It's just like your sister. That's it's interesting how we're all just so different. Okay, So chicken and dumplins are like a warm hug from Kimberly. So we're going to put that recipe up at radio amy dot com so that you can whip it up for yourself. Which is still soup season chicken and dumplin Oh yeah. Still it's still cool enough out cold places to where I think that even in the summer, i'd probably eat up some chicken and dumplin's no problems. I think it's a year round, which if you want to see some of Kimberly's cooking video, she's at Oh Gussie on Instagram and yeah, she'll walk you through everything and then like right away it's like, thank you all so much for joining meet you and I am Tabitha Brown. Do you follow her on Instagram? Oh, she's great. Oh she has some little cooking videos that are she's vegan. I think not that that matters, but I'm just heads up if you're curious about some of her recipes. But she's not an official I think she'said it was an actress. Possibly. I found her on Instagram and she puts up fun cooking videos. You and her, you'll always greet your Instagram videos with like the biggest smile and just make people feel so good right away. So good. Well, you know, I don't know about hers. I'm going to look her up, but for me, it's just me. So if I make a mistake, it's just me. And I've made so many mistakes on these and I can't start over because it's not like I bought two whole chickens about one whole chicken, and I'm gonna make chicken and dumplings and I can't. You know, if I mess up, I can't start over. So I mess up a lot. But well that's okay. Hey, we have grace for that, and you need to have grace for yourself. Tell yourself what is true. You're an awesome cook. Thank you do a great job to have the brown She's all of her videos start with hey there, hey there. I can't mimic her. Well, but you're gonna like her. She's she's really inspiring and sweet and kind and awesome. Okay, so now we're to the gratitude. I want to hear four things you are thankful for, which Kimberly showed up in her four Things love pull over, which loves the pink one that we put out our Valentine's Day a couple of years ago, and then loved it so much we just kept it up so that year round. And it's just love, love, love love. But it's funny because I had had it on earlier and then decided to take off my jeans and put on leggings, and I was like, Okay, I'm gonna put on a different sweatshirt. But I opened the door. I thought, how funny if we had we were twins. So let's go through four things that you're thankful for. And I do gratitude with guests because I think it's a way for people to get to know each guest a little bit more on a different level. But then also as a reminder to just practice gratitude for yourself. I have to tell you it's because of you that now, my daisy, And before we go to bed, we write down four things were grateful for. I'm really grateful to you for giving me that idea. And so we do it together now. And I mean we don't do it together, but we each do it. You know, we've made that commitment together and I love that. Okay, So this was really hard as I thought of narrowing it down to four things. But I'm really grateful for hugs. I love physical touch, and we talked about this a little bit before. I love that I can reach out and hug and show affection to that. That's your love language, probably physical. Okay, you don't even have to take the you're good, okay good. And with the pandemic, I mean we we don't get to When I walked here to the in the door here today, I couldn't hug you because of the pandemic. And I really miss hugging the people that I want to love on. But also I feel like we need the touch. Like when I did lose my first husband, I found out that skin to skin, when we touched skin to skin, it gives us a chemical in our brain called oxytocin, which is a feel good chemical, and we need that. And when I did lose my husband, um my counselor told me get massages and then This is a tip for anyone out there who has lost a loved one. Get a massage because you need that skin to skin contact because it releases oxytocin in your brain. So hugs, I think we need. We I just I want to get it back where we can hold each other's hand and hug on each other because I think it's so important. So you're grateful for hugs, grateful for hugs. The second thing, number two, I'm grateful for health, which is kind of a common answer, I'm sure, especially because the pandemic has brought us, we've become so aware and grateful for health that we have. For me, also, it's I'm watching my parents get older, um, and I know that you've lost your mom, so sorry, and that your dad's had challenges with his health. And I'm so very sorry. My parents are older and they also have some challenges now. My mother has Parkinson's, and growing up, I thought Parkinson's just meant you know, your handshakes or your leg shakes. But there's so much more to that wretched disease than just trimmers. And I watch her daily with the challenges that she has, and her whole life has always been so independent she runs to run everywhere and done anything she wanted, and she's always been on the go like me, like I am now, but now she can't do that. She's much more slow. She has to be slow with her movements and with her steps because of her Parkinson's, And so that watching her, it makes me super thankful for what the health that I have, I still have in my body. But it also makes me thankful that for the health that she still has because I still have her and her challenges are becoming greater, but I'm I am still grateful for the help that she does have so helps in a in a big broad term, you know, just not for myself, but for the people that I love. That's an important one that we definitely take for granted. Yeah, their thing is family. What I've already talked about my parents a little bit and how amazing they were, but they made a huge effort to key us together and to bring us together. And now my sister has our own family, my brother has his own family, but we always we want to we make an effort to be together, and we make an effort to make memories. And that's something we literally talk about, were like, let's get together and make some memories, because I think that kind of carries us through our lives. And then our children get a chance to make memories together, and those things are just precious, precious. And also, like we said before, I can't say the word family and not say a little Big town because they are now also my family, um, because we've just lived so much life together and and we hold each other up like family members, and we do anything for each other like family members do, and so family, well, I'm thankful for you sharing all of that with us, everything that we went over today. And I too, am thankful for a Little Big Town because the music is a hug for people. Music is such probably a release for you as the artists getting it out there, but then can be an emotional release for us, the receivers that are in our car listening to it and having your music touch us in all kinds of ways, whether it's making us want to smile and dance or making us want to really reflect and and get out whatever that emotion is, joy or pain. Yeah, it's crazy how powerful music is. It's so powerful. My sister is a music therapist and I've watched her work and it is phenomenal how healing it is. I've watched her work with um autistic children who won't verbalize except with her because she's doing the music therapy with them. It's it's magical. Music is magical and it is a great healer, and it helps us express anything and everything, like you just said, grief to the best of celebrations. It covers it all. When words don't necessarily work, you know, music does, and boy do I miss it. Sure y'all are ready to get out there. Well, once we are out there, I'm sure all of your fans are still a little big town fans are loyal and waiting and just as ready for you guys to get back out there and get on the road too. I can't even imagine. Yeah, this is sidelined. What I'll do? It's stopped our Yeah we we we haven't toured since last March, and but we are making new music so good. Yeah, we're ratting And when can we expect that to y'all can't say yeah, I I don't really know yet. We're working on it, working on sooner than later. Well, thank you, Kim really for taking the time. I know that all of my listeners are gonna love this. Conversation. I haven't even put it out there yet, but if you're listening to it now, that means it's out there. And I'm already predicting that you listen to this whole thing, you're like, I just love Kimberally. Okay, well that is a wrap on today's episode. Again radio Amy dot com if you want Kimberly's recipe, and at oh Gussie on Instagram and at little Big Town for the music account who runs that? Do y'all say? Yeah? We do? We do? Yeah, we we do. Karen does a lot of it, and we have social media people at our management office, but Karen does a lot of it too. Yeah I am yeah, because sometimes I'll tag that and then I guess you could. But there's a team afore you always wonder like who I wonder who is that? Or is it somebody else don't even know? Okay, all right, thanks Kimberly and the question saying see you next time.