SUMMARY:  

In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with licensed professional counselor and bestselling author Debra Fileta for an honest and insightful conversation about the relationship blind spots many of us don’t realize we have. Together, they explore how emotional patterns, past wounds, and unrecognized habits can quietly shape the way we connect with others. 

Debra shares practical wisdom on how to grow in self-awareness, strengthen communication, and take ownership of the ways we impact the people we love. Whether you’re dating, married, leading others, or simply wanting healthier relationships, this episode offers hope-filled tools to help you break unhealthy cycles and build deeper connection. 

If you’ve ever wondered why relationships can feel harder than they should—or how to become a healthier version of yourself—this conversation is for you. 

LINKS AND RESOURCES: 

Book: People Skills: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as Your Skills 

Website: Debra Fileta | Best Selling Author, Speaker, Psychotherapist, and Podcaster! 

The Kindness Challenge 

SUMMARY:&nbsp;&nbsp;
In this episode of&nbsp;I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff&nbsp;Feldhahn&nbsp;sit down with licensed professional counselor and bestselling author Debra&nbsp;Fileta&nbsp;for an honest and insightful conversation about the relationship blind spots many of us&nbsp;don&rsquo;t&nbsp;realize we have. Together, they explore how emotional patterns, past wounds, and unrecognized habits can quietly shape the way we connect with others.&nbsp;
Debra shares practical wisdom on how to grow in self-awareness, strengthen communication, and take ownership of the ways we&nbsp;impact&nbsp;the people we love. Whether&nbsp;you&rsquo;re&nbsp;dating, married, leading others, or simply wanting healthier relationships, this episode offers hope-filled tools to help you break unhealthy cycles and build deeper&nbsp;connection.&nbsp;
If&nbsp;you&rsquo;ve&nbsp;ever wondered why relationships can feel harder than they should&mdash;or how to become a healthier version of yourself&mdash;this conversation is for you.&nbsp;
LINKS AND RESOURCES:&nbsp;
Book:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.amazon.com/People-Skills-Your-Relationships-Strong/dp/0736991093/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2SLUSIAQB44FD&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.yfy5rKekwjjp08z8kUlToTMOjuiJUaHrZQwtvkQHVMxFCiAzaSxgIVvdleys4Ffh5NHhH6vQwHMHesUoguORtQ81Fda0fLDNc9qG2131JMm9wpMFcNmYvxbYqhZ5hL7aQDbZInuW-BluG6zw0VLigiox7O3HVBskeNuszTtMpLIY3z7c-RRuLN_Mj7UVK4j4.p5V4OBJyP_qwC4Y4qlmiQKNtr9XnXrRsudsjofAsJEI&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=people+skills+debra+fileta&amp;qid=1775834764&amp;sprefix=People+Skills%2Caps%2C962&amp;sr=8-1">People Skills: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as Your Skills</a>&nbsp;
Website:&nbsp;<a href="https://debrafileta.com/">Debra Fileta | Best Selling Author, Speaker, Psychotherapist, and Podcaster!</a>&nbsp;
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Kindness-Challenge-Thirty-Improve-Relationship/dp/1601421222/?tag=shaunticom-20">The Kindness Challenge&nbsp;</a>

Relationship tripwires. Mental health puzzles. Confusing work dynamics. You’re not the only one scratching your head. But now you have a secret decoder ring! Each episode of I Wish You Could Hear This is packed with proven, simple, and surprising secrets that help you thrive in life, faith, and relationships. Researchers Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have spent decades interviewing and surveying more than 40,000 people to identify the little things that make a big difference in our lives. They’re Harvard-educated, Christian authors and speakers who also happen to be happily married, analytically minded, and a whole lot of fun! Join them and their guests for real stories, real help, and real hope.

I Wish You Could Hear This

Relationship tripwires. Mental health puzzles. Confusing work dynamics. You&rsquo;re not the only one scratching your head. But now you have a secret decoder ring! Each episode of I Wish You Could Hear This is packed with proven, simple, and surprising secrets that help you thrive in life, faith, and relationships. Researchers Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have spent decades interviewing and surveying more than 40,000 people to identify the little things that make a big difference in our lives. They&rsquo;re Harvard-educated, Christian authors and speakers who also happen to be happily married, analytically minded, and a whole lot of fun! Join them and their guests for real stories, real help, and real hope.

The Blind Spots Hurting Your Relationships, with Debra Fileta: Episode 41 

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/b3abb188-3ae1-4fc8-b925-b43600f98fde/transcript

Summary: 

In Part 2 of this important conversation on the modern dating recession, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn continue unpacking new research from the Institute for Family Studies on why so many marriage-minded singles are struggling to date—and what can actually help. With 70% of surveyed singles saying they want meaningful relationships but aren’t dating, the challenge is real—but not hopeless. 

Shaunti and Jeff revisit the key barriers discussed in Part 1 and dive into additional reasons dating feels harder today, from fear and discouragement to unclear expectations and social disconnection. Most importantly, they offer practical, research-based encouragement for singles who desire marriage, as well as parents and loved ones who want to support them. 

If you or someone you care about feels stuck in today’s dating landscape, this episode offers fresh insight, empathy, and a hopeful path forward toward genuine connection. 

Resources: 

Report on “The Dating Recession”. https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/state-of-our-unions-2026-the-dating-recession  

IFS article about young men. See point 2 for “Most unmarried young men want to marry”  

https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-men-are-not-checked-out-their-hopes-are-being-frustrated  

For Women Only link. 

For Men Only link 

 

Summary:&nbsp;
In Part 2 of this important conversation on the modern dating recession, Shaunti and Jeff&nbsp;Feldhahn&nbsp;continue unpacking new research from the Institute for Family Studies on why so many marriage-minded singles are struggling to date&mdash;and what can&nbsp;actually help. With 70% of surveyed singles saying they want meaningful relationships but&nbsp;aren&rsquo;t&nbsp;dating, the challenge is real&mdash;but not hopeless.&nbsp;
Shaunti and Jeff revisit the key barriers discussed in Part 1 and dive into&nbsp;additional&nbsp;reasons dating feels harder today, from fear and discouragement to unclear expectations and social disconnection. Most importantly, they offer practical, research-based encouragement for singles who&nbsp;desire&nbsp;marriage, as well as parents and loved ones who want to support them.&nbsp;
If you or someone you care about feels stuck in today&rsquo;s dating landscape, this episode offers fresh insight, empathy, and a hopeful path forward toward genuine connection.&nbsp;
Resources: 
Report on &ldquo;The Dating Recession&rdquo;. <a href="https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/state-of-our-unions-2026-the-dating-recession">https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/state-of-our-unions-2026-the-dating-recession</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;
IFS article about young men. See point 2 for &ldquo;Most unmarried young men want to marry&rdquo;&nbsp;&nbsp;
<a href="https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-men-are-not-checked-out-their-hopes-are-being-frustrated">https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-men-are-not-checked-out-their-hopes-are-being-frustrated</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-Revised-Updated-About/dp/1601424442/?tag=shaunticom-20">For Women Only link</a>.&nbsp;
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Men-Only-Revised-Updated-Straightforward/dp/1601424450/?tag=shaunticom-20">For Men Only link</a>&nbsp;
&nbsp;

How Young People Can Handle Ghosting, Disappointment, and Other Barriers to Dating – Episode 40

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/0e88295d-6b25-48f7-a561-b4330025ef9c/transcript

Summary: In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn unpack the growing “dating recession” impacting today’s young adults. Why are so many singles ages 22 to 35 dating less or not at all? They explore the emotional, social, and cultural factors behind the trend, from fear and discouragement to a lack of confidence and connection. With practical insights and real hope, Shaunti and Jeff discuss the relationship skills that matter most, why community support is essential, and how singles can navigate today’s dating landscape with greater clarity and confidence. 

Resources: 

Report on “The Dating Recession”. https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/state-of-our-unions-2026-the-dating-recession

IFS article about young men. See point 2 for “Most unmarried young men want to marry”

https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-men-are-not-checked-out-their-hopes-are-being-frustrated

For Women Only 

For Men Only link

Summary:&nbsp;In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff&nbsp;Feldhahn&nbsp;unpack the growing &ldquo;dating recession&rdquo;&nbsp;impacting&nbsp;today&rsquo;s young adults. Why are so many singles ages 22 to 35 dating less or not at all? They explore the emotional, social, and cultural factors behind the trend, from fear and discouragement to a lack of confidence and connection. With practical insights and real hope, Shaunti and Jeff discuss the relationship skills that matter most, why community support is essential, and how singles can navigate today&rsquo;s dating landscape with greater clarity and confidence.&nbsp;
Resources:&nbsp;
Report on &ldquo;The Dating Recession&rdquo;. <a href="https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/state-of-our-unions-2026-the-dating-recession">https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/state-of-our-unions-2026-the-dating-recession</a>
IFS article about young men. See point 2 for &ldquo;Most unmarried young men want to marry&rdquo;
<a href="https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-men-are-not-checked-out-their-hopes-are-being-frustrated">https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-men-are-not-checked-out-their-hopes-are-being-frustrated</a>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-Revised-Updated-About/dp/1601424442/?tag=shaunticom-20">For Women Only&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Men-Only-Revised-Updated-Straightforward/dp/1601424450/?tag=shaunticom-20">For Men Only link</a>

Where have all the good dating partners gone? – Episode 39

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/208822bd-a51c-42b4-8de4-b42c01042c4b/transcript

Summary: In this episode, Shaunti Feldhahn sits down with author Laurie Davies to unpack the powerful concept behind the book Emotional Hoarding: Letting Go of the Stuff That Keeps You Stuck. Together, they explore how holding onto hard emotions costs us. Emotional 'hoarding’ limits how we love, it keeps us stuck in regret, grudges, and shame—and, most importantly, it creates a disconnect between us and the freedom God wants us to walk in. 

Together, Shaunti and Laurie distinguish between emotional “baggage” and the deeper patterns of emotional hoarding, highlighting signs that you might be hoarding hard emotions, and why honest self-examination is essential to breaking free. 

The conversation dives into emotions such as worry, worthlessness, regret, anger, and bitterness—focusing on how scripture offers a clear path to freedom. With worry, for example, Shaunti and Laurie discuss how renewing our thinking, grounded in principles from Philippians 4:8, can close the worry loop and restore peace. 

As Shaunti observed in her foreword to the book: “You will never think about your inner emotional life the same way again.” 

Tune in to this episode for a hope-filled path for stepping into greater emotional and relational freedom. 

Links: lauriedavies.comEmotional Hoarding on Amazon

 

Summary: In this episode, Shaunti&nbsp;Feldhahn&nbsp;sits down with&nbsp;author&nbsp;Laurie Davies to unpack the&nbsp;powerful&nbsp;concept behind&nbsp;the&nbsp;book&nbsp;Emotional Hoarding: Letting Go of the Stuff That Keeps You Stuck. Together, they explore how holding onto&nbsp;hard&nbsp;emotions costs us.&nbsp;Emotional 'hoarding&rsquo;&nbsp;limits&nbsp;how&nbsp;we love, it&nbsp;keeps us&nbsp;stuck&nbsp;in regret,&nbsp;grudges, and shame&mdash;and,&nbsp;most importantly, it&nbsp;creates a disconnect between us&nbsp;and the freedom God wants us to walk in.&nbsp;
Together, Shaunti and Laurie distinguish&nbsp;between emotional &ldquo;baggage&rdquo; and the deeper patterns of emotional hoarding, highlighting&nbsp;signs&nbsp;that you might be hoarding hard emotions, and&nbsp;why honest self-examination is essential to breaking free.&nbsp;
The conversation dives into emotions such as worry,&nbsp;worthlessness, regret, anger, and bitterness&mdash;focusing on how&nbsp;scripture offers a clear path to freedom. With worry, for example, Shaunti and Laurie discuss how renewing our thinking, grounded in principles&nbsp;from&nbsp;Philippians 4:8, can&nbsp;close the worry loop&nbsp;and restore peace.&nbsp;
As&nbsp;Shaunti&nbsp;observed&nbsp;in her foreword to the book:&nbsp;&ldquo;You will never think about your inner emotional life the same way again.&rdquo;&nbsp;
Tune in to this&nbsp;episode&nbsp;for&nbsp;a hope-filled&nbsp;path for&nbsp;stepping into greater emotional and relational freedom.&nbsp;
Links: <a href="https://lauriedavies.com/">lauriedavies.com</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Hoarding-Letting-Stuff-Keeps/dp/0802437079/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.-X_3bPNHWkwawOfthiNLkvPNwKp7PWGk5VluiRIQZORBd8_14iFowGQ0cQl5xTorICVRJbP9yf4YArqoSoYP4O7f-9Cp48I_HOk_BH4gBBwF4JBWhLiV941JSBhMBfM_QqzRbbUnyahZ5TdmBLQyGYhM0Gzti-j3adPeG7Fj7_YzvAc6iCfBo6RcmEeGB5nCNInKlf6pkOBug8-IcY8C0mF7ZEasllldVO-RxXRsccU.GFU5Wc9UV0Sv4uziRJLf10N8pZMkz3MwFPxyqeYPa9k&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=Emotional+Hoarding&amp;qid=1774894011&amp;sr=8-1">Emotional Hoarding on Amazon</a>
&nbsp;

Emotional Baggage Isn't Our Problem (Here's How to Live Lighter), with Laurie Davies – Episode 38

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/55b63cde-b9f6-45e7-98b7-b41e0039327b/transcript

The Blind Spots Hurting Your Relationships, with Debra Fileta: Episode 41

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