Episode 18: Happy Couples Hang Out

Description:

Join Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn as they delve into the habits of the happiest couples. Discover the deceptively simple secret that we learned in the research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages about the power of simply spending time together and how that plays a role in maintaining a strong relationship. Learn from real-life examples and research-backed insights to transform your marriage. 

Resources & Links Mentioned:    

 The Surprising Secrets of High Happy Marriages

 For Women Only

 For Men Only

Today’s podcast features the type of game-changing, research-based findings that will strengthen the marriages in your church. If you are interested in bringing Shaunti and Jeff to your next event, please contact  Nicole Owens at nowens@shaunti.com.  

Episode 18: Happy Couples Hang Out Description: Join Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn as they delve into the habits of the happiest couples. Discover the deceptively simple secret that we learned in the research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages about the power of simply spending time together and how that plays a role in maintaining a strong relationship. Learn from real-life examples and research-backed insights to transform your marriage.  Resources & Links Mentioned:     <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Surprising-Secrets-Highly-Happy-Marriages/dp/1601421214/?tag=shaunticom-20"> The Surprising Secrets of High Happy Marriages</a>  <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-Revised-Updated-About/dp/1601424442/?tag=shaunticom-20"> For Women Only</a>  <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Men-Only-Revised-Updated-Straightforward/dp/1601424450/?tag=shaunticom-20"> For Men Only</a>  Today’s podcast features the type of game-changing, research-based findings that will strengthen the marriages in your church. If you are interested in bringing Shaunti and Jeff to your next event, please contact <a href="https://shaunti.com/2025/02/the-power-of-believing-the-best-in-your-spouse/nowens@shaunti.com"> Nicole Owens</a> at nowens@shaunti.com.

Relationship tripwires. Mental health puzzles. Confusing work dynamics. You’re not the only one scratching your head. But now you have a secret decoder ring! Each episode of I Wish You Could Hear This is packed with proven, simple, and surprising secrets that help you thrive in life, faith, and relationships. Researchers Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have spent decades interviewing and surveying more than 40,000 people to identify the little things that make a big difference in our lives. They’re Harvard-educated, Christian authors and speakers who also happen to be happily married, analytically minded, and a whole lot of fun! Join them and their guests for real stories, real help, and real hope.

I Wish You Could Hear This

Relationship tripwires. Mental health puzzles. Confusing work dynamics. You&rsquo;re not the only one scratching your head. But now you have a secret decoder ring! Each episode of I Wish You Could Hear This is packed with proven, simple, and surprising secrets that help you thrive in life, faith, and relationships. Researchers Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have spent decades interviewing and surveying more than 40,000 people to identify the little things that make a big difference in our lives. They&rsquo;re Harvard-educated, Christian authors and speakers who also happen to be happily married, analytically minded, and a whole lot of fun! Join them and their guests for real stories, real help, and real hope.

Episode 18: Happy Couples Hang Out Description: Join Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn as they delve into the habits of the happiest couples. Discover the deceptively simple secret that we learned in the research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy...

Episode 18: Happy Couples Hang Out

Summary: In this episode, Shaunti Feldhahn sits down with author Laurie Davies to unpack the powerful concept behind the book Emotional Hoarding: Letting Go of the Stuff That Keeps You Stuck. Together, they explore how holding onto hard emotions costs us. Emotional 'hoarding’ limits how we love, it keeps us stuck in regret, grudges, and shame—and, most importantly, it creates a disconnect between us and the freedom God wants us to walk in. 

Together, Shaunti and Laurie distinguish between emotional “baggage” and the deeper patterns of emotional hoarding, highlighting signs that you might be hoarding hard emotions, and why honest self-examination is essential to breaking free. 

The conversation dives into emotions such as worry, worthlessness, regret, anger, and bitterness—focusing on how scripture offers a clear path to freedom. With worry, for example, Shaunti and Laurie discuss how renewing our thinking, grounded in principles from Philippians 4:8, can close the worry loop and restore peace. 

As Shaunti observed in her foreword to the book: “You will never think about your inner emotional life the same way again.” 

Tune in to this episode for a hope-filled path for stepping into greater emotional and relational freedom. 

Links: lauriedavies.comEmotional Hoarding on Amazon

 

Summary: In this episode, Shaunti&nbsp;Feldhahn&nbsp;sits down with&nbsp;author&nbsp;Laurie Davies to unpack the&nbsp;powerful&nbsp;concept behind&nbsp;the&nbsp;book&nbsp;Emotional Hoarding: Letting Go of the Stuff That Keeps You Stuck. Together, they explore how holding onto&nbsp;hard&nbsp;emotions costs us.&nbsp;Emotional 'hoarding&rsquo;&nbsp;limits&nbsp;how&nbsp;we love, it&nbsp;keeps us&nbsp;stuck&nbsp;in regret,&nbsp;grudges, and shame&mdash;and,&nbsp;most importantly, it&nbsp;creates a disconnect between us&nbsp;and the freedom God wants us to walk in.&nbsp;
Together, Shaunti and Laurie distinguish&nbsp;between emotional &ldquo;baggage&rdquo; and the deeper patterns of emotional hoarding, highlighting&nbsp;signs&nbsp;that you might be hoarding hard emotions, and&nbsp;why honest self-examination is essential to breaking free.&nbsp;
The conversation dives into emotions such as worry,&nbsp;worthlessness, regret, anger, and bitterness&mdash;focusing on how&nbsp;scripture offers a clear path to freedom. With worry, for example, Shaunti and Laurie discuss how renewing our thinking, grounded in principles&nbsp;from&nbsp;Philippians 4:8, can&nbsp;close the worry loop&nbsp;and restore peace.&nbsp;
As&nbsp;Shaunti&nbsp;observed&nbsp;in her foreword to the book:&nbsp;&ldquo;You will never think about your inner emotional life the same way again.&rdquo;&nbsp;
Tune in to this&nbsp;episode&nbsp;for&nbsp;a hope-filled&nbsp;path for&nbsp;stepping into greater emotional and relational freedom.&nbsp;
Links: <a href="https://lauriedavies.com/">lauriedavies.com</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Hoarding-Letting-Stuff-Keeps/dp/0802437079/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.-X_3bPNHWkwawOfthiNLkvPNwKp7PWGk5VluiRIQZORBd8_14iFowGQ0cQl5xTorICVRJbP9yf4YArqoSoYP4O7f-9Cp48I_HOk_BH4gBBwF4JBWhLiV941JSBhMBfM_QqzRbbUnyahZ5TdmBLQyGYhM0Gzti-j3adPeG7Fj7_YzvAc6iCfBo6RcmEeGB5nCNInKlf6pkOBug8-IcY8C0mF7ZEasllldVO-RxXRsccU.GFU5Wc9UV0Sv4uziRJLf10N8pZMkz3MwFPxyqeYPa9k&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=Emotional+Hoarding&amp;qid=1774894011&amp;sr=8-1">Emotional Hoarding on Amazon</a>
&nbsp;

Why We 'Hoard' Hard Emotions and How to Let Go, with Laurie Davies - Episode 38 

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/55b63cde-b9f6-45e7-98b7-b41e0039327b/transcript

Summary: 

Parents naturally want to protect their kids from disappointment and failure—but sometimes our help can actually get in the way of their growth. In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff talk about the growing trend of “snowplow parenting,” where parents try to clear every obstacle out of their child’s path. Through stories, research insights, and practical wisdom, they explore how well-meaning parents can unintentionally prevent their kids from learning resilience and responsibility. You’ll hear why allowing natural consequences can actually be a gift—and how to support your kids without removing every challenge in front of them. 

For Parents Only

https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-1/

https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-2/

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/16/style/snowplow-parenting-scandal.html

Summary:&nbsp;
Parents naturally want to protect their kids from disappointment and failure&mdash;but sometimes our help can&nbsp;actually get&nbsp;in the way of their growth. In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff talk about the growing trend of&nbsp;&ldquo;snowplow parenting,&rdquo;&nbsp;where parents try to clear every obstacle out of their child&rsquo;s path. Through stories, research insights, and practical wisdom, they explore how well-meaning parents can unintentionally prevent their kids from learning resilience and responsibility.&nbsp;You&rsquo;ll hear why allowing natural consequences can actually be a gift&mdash;and how to support your kids without removing every challenge in front of them.&nbsp;
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Parents-Only-Getting-Inside-Head/dp/1590529324/?tag=shaunticom-20">For Parents Only</a>
<a href="https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-1/">https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-1/</a>
<a href="https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-2/">https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-2/</a>
<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/16/style/snowplow-parenting-scandal.html">https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/16/style/snowplow-parenting-scandal.html</a>

Are You Snowplow Parenting? When Helping Your Kids Too Much Hurts Them - Episode 37

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/996185f2-f175-4399-8df2-b40f01888693/transcript

Summary: In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn unpack one of the most overlooked sources of conflict in marriage: the very different ways men and women process thoughts and emotions. Drawing on two decades of research, they explore why many women experience ongoing “open windows,” lingering worries or mental tabs that are hard to close and why many men may not even realize those windows are still open. 

With practical insight and empathy for both sides, Shaunti and Jeff explain the brain-based and physiological differences that shape how we handle stress and disagreement. Most importantly, they offer simple, powerful ways spouses can respond in moments of tension, turning misunderstanding into connection. If you’ve ever felt like you and your spouse were missing each other emotionally, this conversation will give you fresh clarity and practical tools to build deeper understanding. 

Resources: Gur, R. C., & Gur, R. E. (2017). Complementarity of sex differences in brain and behavior: From laterality to multimodal neuroimaging. Journal of Neuroscience Research, 95(1), 189–199. https://doi.org/10.1002/jnr.2383 

FOR MEN ONLY 

FOR WOMEN ONLY  

 

Summary: In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff&nbsp;Feldhahn&nbsp;unpack one of the most overlooked sources of conflict in marriage: the&nbsp;very different&nbsp;ways men and women process thoughts and emotions. Drawing on two decades of research, they explore why many women experience ongoing &ldquo;open windows,&rdquo; lingering worries or mental tabs that are hard to close and why many men may not even realize those windows are still open.&nbsp;
With practical insight and empathy for both sides, Shaunti and Jeff explain the brain-based and physiological differences that shape how we handle stress and disagreement. Most importantly, they offer simple, powerful ways spouses can respond in moments of tension, turning misunderstanding into connection. If you&rsquo;ve ever felt like you and your spouse were missing each other emotionally, this conversation will give you fresh clarity and practical tools to build deeper understanding.&nbsp;
Resources:&nbsp;Gur, R. C., &amp; Gur, R. E. (2017). Complementarity of sex differences in brain and behavior: From laterality to multimodal neuroimaging.&nbsp;Journal of Neuroscience Research, 95(1), 189&ndash;199.&nbsp;<a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jnr.2383">https://doi.org/10.1002/jnr.2383</a>&nbsp;
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Men-Only-Revised-Updated-Straightforward/dp/1601424450/?tag=shaunticom-20">FOR MEN ONLY&nbsp;</a>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Women-Only-Revised-Updated-About/dp/1601424442/?tag=shaunticom-20">FOR WOMEN ONLY</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;
&nbsp;

Navigating the Open Windows of Communication - Episode 36

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/f0ab1379-9cba-43e4-a8fc-b4010144e058/transcript

Episode 18: Happy Couples Hang Out

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