Summary

Most of us can probably think of something we'd like to change in our marriage. Maybe we keep having the same argument, feel disconnected after years of focusing on work or the kids, or simply wish we had more fun together. But what if making our marriages better doesn't have to be as complicated as we sometimes think?

In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff share the first three of six practical steps they've discovered through their research on highly happy marriages. They explore why we need to learn from couples who are doing marriage well, how small habits practiced consistently can make a surprisingly big difference, and why giving ourselves and our spouses grace is so important as we learn and grow.

Along the way, they share fascinating findings about the power of verbal affirmation, why celebrating small wins matters, and how a simple shift in the way we view our marriage can change the way we approach challenges.

The encouraging news? You don't have to overhaul your entire marriage overnight. Sometimes the biggest changes begin with one small thing you choose to do differently today—and then keep doing tomorrow.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Small Changes That Can Improve Your Marriage
01:30 Step 1: Learn From Marriage Role Models
04:44 What Shaunti and Jeff Discovered Studying Happy Couples
06:55 The Surprising Power of Saying "Thank You"
09:24 Why We Need Real-Life Marriage Mentors
13:16 Step 2: Practice Small Habits Consistently
15:06 Why Little Things Matter More Than Grand Gestures
16:57 How Consistency Creates Lasting Change
19:22 The Power of Small Wins
21:52 Noticing and Affirming Your Spouse's Efforts
23:47 Step 3: Give Yourself and Your Spouse Grace
27:28 How Small Habits Can Change the Way You See Yourself
29:33 Shifting From an "Eject Button" to a Lifelong Mindset
32:36 Why Happy Couples Learn to Let Things Go
33:31 The Biggest Takeaway: Start With One Small Thing

Resources

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages by Shaunti Feldhahn

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn

For Men Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

Invite Shaunti to Speak

Would you like to explore having Shaunti speak at your next event? Whether you're planning a marriage event, women's gathering, retreat, or conference, we'd love to connect! Email speaking@shaunti.com or visit shaunti.com/speaking to learn more.