I've Never Said This Before With Tommy DiDario***This episode was recorded before the SAG-AFTRA strike***
This week, Tommy is joined by star of "Shadowhunters,” Kat McNamara. Kat dishes on her experience playing a beloved demon-hunter, working on a series adapted from popular graphic novels, keeping romantic on-screen relationships platonic off-screen, and how to be open to letting joy into your life.
Before we start, I just wanted to let you know that this interview was conducted before the sag After Strike went into effect. Hey, guys, welcome to I've never said this before with me Tommy Didario. Today's guest is the incredible Catherine mcnamarina. Now get ready for all of this. Kat is an actor, dancer, singer, songwriter, writer. The list goes on and on. She started her career on Broadway in the revival of A Little Night Music, and then moved into film and television, in which she played the role of Clari Fray in the supernatural demon hunting show Shadow Hunters, Sonya in the Maze Runner trilogy, she took on the Mantle of the Green Arrow as me a Smoke in Arrow, Julia Lowry in Paramount Plus's adaptation of Stephen King's The Stand, and so much more. She recently stepped into the role of Abby Walker in Walker Independence for the CW, which was a great Western definitely check that out. And this coupled with her very own podcast, Returned to the Shadows and several developments in the work, plus her work with Girl Up and The Big Slick. Well, needless to say, she never shoes away from taking on a challenge. This is a very special human being who I mean, man, I have so much love for So let's see if today we can get Kat say something that she's never said before. Kat. We have had many meals together, many deep conversations, which I adore and I love. One of the things I love most about you is how we can connect on so many different topics. And one of the first things you told me. I don't know if you remember this when when we had I think our very first meal is I was saying that I feel like I'm an old soul, and you said, you know, Tommy, I feel like I'm somebody that's trapped in the nineteen fifties, but in a twenty something, your old body.
It's true, I'm just a grandma.
You know what do you mean by that?
Well, I bag on nit and I drank Scotch, So I think that's the surface level of it. No, I don't know. Certain souls have been around for a long time, and other souls are new and exciting, and this maybe is the first trip around this life cycle that we have. But I always think it's fascinating to see how it kind of exhibits itself in different people.
I'm with you. I believe that we've lived different lives, and I consider myself a very, very old soul, and I think that's one of the ways we connected right away.
So absolutely, yeah, it's great. And I think it's you know, if you can actually find someone that you can genuinely talk to about the way you see the world and the way that the world interacts with you and vice versa. I always find that fascinating, and maybe that's why I'm an actor. I think a lot about that, and that's part of why I love my job, is because I love getting to not only live a million different lives, but figure out the why. You get a script and you have the A to Z or you know, if it's the TV show, you have the first hour of the A to Z of a character and the choices they make and all that, but then it's up to you and the director and the other folks involved to figure out the why and why they make those choices and what part of who they are and what makes them who they are, what has made them who they are that then causes them to make these choices. And I just found it fascinating to discover that in people as well.
Well. Speaking of your work, we have to dive into one of your most fan favorite, beloved projects you've ever done, which is Shadow Hunters. Of course, course, of course, you played the wonderful character, wonderful character that people. I swear to God, I see this name trending on Twitter all the time. Still I don't know what you do, but Clarie Ray is always trending, and she is this badass, demon hunting, fighting character. I know. This is a role that completely changed the course of your life. Now I read that you didn't find out you booked this role until ten minutes before Twitter did. Is that true?
That is very true?
How is that possible? What was that like?
It was bananas, to be truly frank with you, But it that whole process because the book series, you know, wasn't The Mortal Instrument's book series was an international best selling book series and they had just done a film a few years prior. You know, this fandom was so hungry and so ready for the next iteration of what that story was going to be. And that wasn't lost on you know, Freeform, which was ABC Family at the time, and they had McGee at the helm as our director of the pilot and one of our producers, and so a lot of things were very active on social media, and as they were sort of announcing things, I was down between me and one other girl, and I had about four screen tests at this point, and comes through tests with Dom who played Jay Smith, Alberta who played Simon, and a few of the other Simons, and we'd all kind of been rotating in this cycle for so long, and I still hadn't heard anything. And it was the day that they were supposed to announce it, and then you know, hadn't heard, hadn't heard? And I saw on Twitter the Shadow Hunter's Twitter account for the TV series, which had already been created by the network and starting to be active and do things. They said, Hey, we're going to announce who we've cast as Clary in two hours. And I looked at it and I went, well, it must not be me then, because I would certainly know by this point. So I called my team, and I called my managers and my agents, and I was like, Hey, have we heard anything? Do we know what's going on? They said, no, nobody's heard anything. Neither neither you nor the other actress have heard anything. So we don't know, nobody knows, and so I'm sitting there for two hours. I went to the gym, actually, and if you know me at all, you know I have to put this energy somewhere. So I went to the gym and I'm like on the treadmill, like okay, I don't know. I'm just not going to think about it. And then ten minutes before it's it's announced, Who's Clary is trending? Like all this stuff is happening, I get the phone call. I'm like, hey, just we're so sorry that it's taken us this long, but we are so excited to tell you that you're going to be playing Clari Fray and all this stuff. And oh, by the way, can you run over to the ABC Family offices because they want you to make some videos for social media right now that they can post. Going I just left the gym, but sure, because I lived around the corner basically, so I'm like, okay, here I go. And then my phone quit working about ten minutes later because obviously I still didn't you know, I didn't have my notifications turned off. I didn't have anything because I'd never experienced anything like this, and all of a sudden, you know, Twitter and Instagram and text messages and phone calls and everything are just pouring in and my poor little phone just can't take it.
Well, it's an incredibly special show. Something that strikes me about shadow Hunters is it's this magical world with half human half angels and werewolves and vampires and all sorts of you know, these supernatural creatures. Yet it's grounded in such real life topical things that people feel seen by and they can relate to. Talk to me a bit about that side of the show.
Well that I think, as you so aptly put it, that is the magic of shadow Hunters and of the story is that, yeah, you have and of the you know, the fantasy genre in general. You have these creatures that have these supernatural powers and that are so gifted in so many ways and can do these things and save the world, and yet they still are having problems with their relationship or they're having trouble connecting with their parents or figuring out who they are and where they want to be in the world, or who they are and who they want to love, or whatever it ends up being. And it's it's a way of looking at your own situation and your own problems where you can actually be objective and you can look and go, Okay, if they can get through this and still save the world, maybe I can just get through my problems and you know, everyday life. But it also did the writers did such a nice job of humanizing all of these characters and really making them flawed and interesting, and you know that's that is something that I loved so much about Clarie is that she wasn't perfect, and time and time again she fell flat on her face but got back up and tried to do the right thing no matter how many times she messed up.
You have quite an epic love adventure throughout the series with your pro star dom Suo Jace as he is known. People love watching you two and seeing how that relationship was going to unfold. It's actually quite funny. The two of you have a photo I don't know if I think it was in an episode in front of the Eiffel Tower, right, oh yeah, kissing which Geo and I got engaged and he proposed to me in front of the Eiffel Tower, and the fandom started putting the picture side by side and it's almost an identical picture.
It's wild so if anyone's seen the movie inception, it's that bridge that they use in the end of it, and there's a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower in the background. And we were lucky enough to be able to actually shoot the bits of the story that take place in Paris in Paris, and of course there's this big reuniting scene where I get saved from the bad guys and we fight them off, and then we're finally reunited, and then there's the kiss. But I have a feeling that it's nothing the stories, But from the stories that I've heard from you and Geo, that romantic scene was nothing compared to what you and Geo had on that bridge. So it's off to you and my friends.
I don't know if you give us a run for our money. That was a beautiful moment and photo and part of the show. Working with such a close friend, I imagine must have been so much fun. How did you guys build that relationship throughout the series and form that chemistry because it's not always an easy thing to do.
It's not but again, it was lightning in a bottle that show. We were so lucky. I mean, I knew Don before, so the ice was already broken for us. We've been friends for like a year just in you know, this crazy town. But it was so nice to have someone on set that I already knew, and to have someone there that you know, we'd already the ice was broken. We already had a connection, We already had a comfortability with each other that we could just play and very quickly the rest of the cast clicked and gelled in the very same way. You know, I Alberto who played Simon. He and I, our characters were supposed to have been best friends since childhood, spend every day together, do you know absolutely everything, know everything about each other, And that's the sort of relationship that you can very quickly see through, you know that, or a romantic one like the Domini had on on screen. It's fascinating the way that we just were able to build it and spend time together. And a lot of that was because we spent time training together, and we would you know, we all moved to Toronto together and we were the only people we all knew, so we just spent all of our time together. But it also has a lot to do with trust, and we were just very quickly able to form this bond and to trust each other and go, Okay, we're in this. We're going to be here, hopefully for several years, and we all wanted to make something great, and we all really cared about the story and about the characters, and we're so invested in making this more than you know, just another fantasy show. And I think you really see that, you know. I always point to Harry Shum Junior and Matt Tadario who played Magnus and Alec on the show, and to their relationship and all the work that they put into that and all of the time and energy they put into really making this relationship nuanced and real and wonderful. And having gone back and rewatched parts of the series, now you really see that in so many ways.
And this just came into my mind and go with me here. It's kind of a random technical acting question for you.
Okay, all right, I'm here.
When you're playing this this, you know, romance out for a season after season after season. How do two performers keep it platonic? Right? How do you not let that work crossover into like falling in love with each other because you're working together every day and you're intimate in the scenes, of course, and so do you know what I'm saying? How do you? I'm sure some people do, But is it a weird line to straddle?
For me, it's not. And I don't know what that says about me as a human being, But for me, it's always been very clinical and almost technical. You know, there's a very distinct separation for me between you know, personal life and what happens on screen. And I think it could also be because I had such a great friendship with everyone. I had pre existing relationships with folks that I was on screen with. But then also, you know, when you're when they make them look like the most romantic moments that ever exist, with the music and the lighting and the camera movements and everything is just happening all at once, But in reality, there's about thirty guys with equipment and cargo shorts three feet from your face and a director yelling at you from across the room trying to figure out what to do, and it's the least romantic thing you will ever do in your life. That's part of it. But also it's funny looking back on it. I remember thinking this when we were shooting the last few episodes of Shadow hunters. Our characters had habits and even physical habits and ways of moving in a space with each other that were entirely separate from the way that Domini exist in space together, or Alberto and I exist in space together, and we would just fall into these patterns, and you know, you're in the middle of a scene and you move around a certain set piece and grab hands and do things or look at each other, and it's kind of this. The characters have a history that they know, and it's in It's not only emotional, but it's physical because you live in these spaces and you spend hours and hours and hours of your time and your day doing this. You know, if you think about it, what is an hour that you watch on television? Took us an entire week if not more, to shoot of fifteen to seventeen hour days doing this, living this story over and over again. So it somehow exists within you but entirely separate. Maybe that makes me a bit of associopath. I don't know.
No, no, it makes you an extremely professional professional. I'm going to go with that.
There I go, I'll take you.
Yeah, it's it's such an incredibly special show. I mean, we see it in the fandom. When the show wasn't renewed, we know that they were petitioning and there were fundraisers, and I think there was even a billboard in Times Square and it was trending every other day. And this show means so much to so many people. So I know that if you have the opportunity to come back and do another season or a special mini series off of the show, I know you would do it. We've talked about that many times. But what would you want to see for your character next?
Oh goodness, well, first of all, and that experience for us was one of the wildest of my life. And just seeing the fandom come and support the show and the story and each other with this mass of doing everything they possibly could, this enthusiasm, the support, and this love and passion for the show. There were billboards all over the world, from Korea to London, to Italy to Germany to the US. There were blimps flying over with planes with messages flying over Los Angeles. There were you know, they raised thousands and thousands of dollars for the Trevor Project in the name of our show and saving it, and just the amount of good that the fandom does, even in these moments, blows my mind every single day. And they truly there's a reason I call them angels because they are. But you know, for Clary, the series ended in a very interesting way that was very open, which I loved. But you know, she'd lost all of her memories and just got the tiniest glimmer of recognition of Jase at the end, and I thought that was so beautiful because it's it's making a statement that you know, even through the punishment that she was given by the angels, and through any kind of spite or hatred they have for her and what she'd done or anything that exists in that world, love and that connection is stronger than any of it, and reconnected them and brought them back together. But we don't really know. So I would love to see Clarie retraining. I would love to see her moving forward in kind of this new life. You know, before we had that ending, before we had to end the show so quickly, Clariy had just come out of our original ending for season three. She had just come out of being, for lack of a better word, possessed by her demonic brother, and she'd killed people and done all of these really evil things. After having spent two years earning the respect of this entire world, she had lost it and trashed it and become a villain. And the only other person who could understand that was Jase because he'd been through something similar. So this next scene and was going to be a really interesting way of her fighting her guilt and finding a way to make it right and going almost where previously she'd been. No, we're going to break all the rules and we're going to do things a new way, and love matters and all these things are important to going Nope, I'm going to be a soldier. I'm going to be straight laced. I'm going to do my job and I don't matter, but my job does. And that would have been an interesting journey as well. But you know, all things happen for a reason and in the way that they should. And I was with the situation we had. I was really grateful for the ending we got to give the show.
You said something a quote. I want to read this to you. Let's see if you remember it, because I really really really loved this quote. And when this show wrapped, this is what you said. I still feel a bit like I've lost a limb, and it's still a bit strange that it's not there anymore, that I'm not going back, and I'm still processing that, but it's something that I'll carry with me forever and something that I'll always love. What were you feeling in that moment?
I know exactly what that was in reaction to. So our last day of shooting. The series ends with this big wedding, and so our last day of shooting, everyone was on set, even folks like Isaiah Mustafa, who was off doing it to another part of Toronto, came to just hang out after he wrapped, and we finished at like three in the morning, and everyone was there and dressed up, and we had this big party and we had our wrap party on our stages right there in the middle of the We were already set up for a wedding. We might as well just keep the party going. So people brought champagne and our catering, stayed late and made snacks, and we just spent all night on these stages in what had become our home for the better part of four years, with these people that had become our family, hanging out, dancing, listening to music, celebrating, running around being silly, sitting in spaces and you know, having a drink in all of our characters bedrooms and apartments and kind of giving our home the send off it needed. But I remember, right before we all went to go change, right after they'd called wrap and we'd done the big champagne toast and we're going to go get ready for the party. I was still in costume, still in everything, and most other people had left the stage, and I watched the edge of the set and something stopped me, like a wall, because I realized in that moment, that's the last time I was going to be stepping off the stage as Clary. And I hadn't thought about that, and I hadn't thought about what that would feel like. And you know, that show was nineteen to twenty three for me, and that show, I'd grown up. I'd become an adult. I'd gone from a teenager to a you know, a grown woman. And I didn't know what it was like to be an adult without Clary in my life. And I didn't know what it was like to go about my life without show and without her. And I'd spent a lot of time thinking about that and processing that, and then I realized that it never really will leave me because everything about that show and that fandom and the journey that I went on and everything that we learned together is so a part of who I am that that will never change. That family will never change, That part of me will always be there. And that's something that's so special about certain characters. It happened with Clary, it happened with me as well on Arrow. Those people become a part of you, and you learn from these characters and you grow with them, and you are so a part of their journey and they're a part of yours, and they leave a little peace with you. You leave a little piece of yourself in them that lives in the play or the film or the movie forever, and they leave a little bit with you. It'll always stick in the back of your head, because once you live in somebody's head for long enough, it never goes away.
Yeah. Yeah, And like you said, you grew up doing the show. It's a piece of who you are, and it's not physically here right now in the sense that it's your day to day job anymore, but it will live on forever. So who is Kat McNamara without Shot Hunters?
She's someone who's very grateful to have continued working and continued to hopefully grow, as you know, as an artist and a human and an actor and a storyteller. And that's, you know, that's ultimately what I want to do with my life is just tell stories and be a part of things, whether I'm in front of the camera, on stage, behind the camera, on a microphone, whatever it is. I just want to continue that magic, because there's something to that, and there's something to the growth that brings it's you know, it's a medicine of its own, this this art of storytelling that we as humans have.
I'm now remembering another thing you told me in conversation. All these little golden nuggets are coming back to me. And what just struck me listening and watching you is how full of joy you are. You just exude joy. And I remember I was sharing a story with your personal story, and you said that there's something very vulnerable about being joyous, that there's vulnerability in joy. Do you remember that?
I do. I do because it was something that I had listened to or heard or read somewhere and I was at the start of a new year. I think it was the beginning of like twenty nineteen or something about being vulnerable to joy, and it struck me in such a way. You have to be open to letting joy into your life and letting things come your way, and whether that's love or work or just happiness in general, if you're open to that being a part of your life, it will come to you. It will happen. You might, you know, get hurt along the way, you might learn a lesson, you might other things might happen because you're open to receiving things and to letting things affect you. But if you're closed off, you're not going to learn anything or grow or receive anything from the world. And that's kind of an awful way to live in my opinion.
Yeah, yeah, I couldn't agree with you more. And I think that what fascinates me about somebody like you is you live this very public life social socially right and the digital space, so to speak. Yes, you share things that are just for you and you keep things for just for yourself, I should say, but you're very active on social media. I mean, four point one plus million followers on Instagram, and add up the Twitter and the Facebook and all the things that you're on and it's a big part of what you do as an artist, right, You promote your work, you engage with your amazing community of fans. I imagine for someone like you, it's generally very positive and a joyful space, as we were just talking about. But I also imagine it must be important to keep a separation between the digital social media side of what you do and your real human life.
Is that right in a sense?
Yeah?
And I mean I try and generate a presence on social media that is I don't know, there's no better word for it other than authentic, yeah, and organic and just real, because I don't think there's any Yes, there are certain things I do that are professional, and certain things that I do that are you know, promotional things, and this, that and the other, but ultimately it's about just being a person. But I think that separation you're talking about is really important for everyone to remember, because I mean, I've had a really positive experience with social media. I think it's a wonderful thing if you have a healthy perspective on it. You know, I use it to keep in touch with my family and friends. I use it to people that I'm far away from my family, I'm far away from my friends most of the time, and getting to just see a little piece of their life and keep in touch that way, even if it's two seconds, I can see news that somebody has and go, oh my god, that's so exciting, or they look so beautiful today, or what a great day they're having, or you know it just or just send them a littlege of how I miss you. You know. It's those little things and the ease of doing that that I'm so grateful for. But alternatively, we all have to remember that it's just ones and zeros. It literally doesn't physically exist, and in the grand scheme of things, the connections that you build through it are what matters. And the friendships that you make through it, and the real connections that you make, that's what matters. Not the number of double taps you get on a photo, not you know, the filter you put on it, or whether somebody has a photo or this and all of that, all of those things that people worry about, all of the numbers and things. It's there's a part of it that matters for you know, our job. But in the grand scheme of things, what's important to the people, not the photos, not the digital and if you can remember that and keep a grasp on that and appreciate it for what it is, but also understand it for what it is. That's that's my hope for the future of humans and social media. I guess.
It's a good hope. It's a really good hope. And I think that you are someone who genuinely wants the very best for people. I can honestly say I don't sense any sort of jealous bones in your body. I don't think you're somebody who lives by comparison, and I think you're generally happy for people's successes, and I think that social media can tear all of that away from you. It can make you jealous, It can make you comparing yourself to other people. It can make you have anxiety and feel depressed if you're not performing like someone is or living their life. And you use it in such a healthy way, which is something I very much admire, and that's how I look at it as well. And I think that in life, if you're somebody who wants the very best for other people, even if it's something you want and you're not quite there yet with but you see someone in how happy it makes them how hard hopefully they worked for it. I think that only attracts good.
Things to you one hundred percent. I'm such a firm believer in the energy and the intentions that you put out into the world toward other people and other situations are what you receive back. You know. It's it's the golden rule. It goes back, you know, from millennia in human history and in every kind of moral code that we've created as human beings. It's that or that exists among different communities. There's always something akin to that. And I think it's true. You know, it's all everything's cyclical, everything's reciprocal, and it's if you're putting good things out in the world and wishing the best for other people, there's it will come back to you in one way or another. Kindness always begets kindness, Positivity always begets positivity. And I don't know, I guess that's how I was raised as well. It's it's one of those things where, Okay, so somebody else is doing something great, that thing wasn't meant to be yours. So there's something else out there that wouldn't have been right for whatever reason. You may never understand it. You may never know what that is or why, and it might be so frustrating, but that's okay, yeah, because just be open to whatever is coming your way.
Yeah, one hundred percent. And connecting this back to our conversation about Joy, I always live by the quote that comparison is truly the thief to joy.
Right, Yeah, oh yeah, that's a good one.
It just is. I live by it. I heard it once and I've never forgotten it. I love it so much. Kat, you clearly are someone who is so motivated and passionate in all areas of life. What keeps your fire burning?
I spend time and energy doing things that I love and that matter to me, and whether that's you know, baking cookies for a friend who's having a hard day, or going to work and doing a job that I love, or going to the gym even on days where I'm exhausted, but knowing that I have to train for X y Z job coming up, so that I can do the thing that I tell, the story that I want to tell, and be the person that I'm trying to become to play this character and serve the story. And it's no matter what it is, it's a choice and I always try and find that that positive side of things and try and find something to be a motivator, because otherwise life is no fun. You're not having fun, You're not doing something right. That's what my grandfather always says. And sometimes you have to choose to have fun.
Oh your grandfather, wise man, wise, wise man.
By the way, my grandparents and my mother say hello. They adore you, and they send all their love to you and gio. So I was tasked with that message and I have passed it on.
Oh it's all the fam. We say hello and we send our love right back. That's amazing. Everybody listening right now, you know, talked about shadow Hunters and if you weren't you able to watch Kat in the show, or you didn't you know, you weren't watching it in real time. Guess what, She's on another show right now and you can watch her in all her glory on the CW playing Abby Walker and Walker Independence from the world of sci Fi and shadow Hunters to other worlds in between and now the Great Western World. It is such a fun show. You are again another total badass in the show. For everybody listening, tell them about the show and what excites you the most about being a part of it.
Well, it's great. It's so lovely to be back in the CW family. You know, starting with the Shadow Hunters kind of led me to Arrow, which I was able to do for a couple of seasons. It was wonderful. And then Walker Independence came up, and once again it's you know, it's it exists in the Walker Texas Ranger universe. But Jared Pataluki is doing a spin off of that show now or a reboot rather of that show now called Walker, in which he plays Cordel Walker, the next generation of that And they said, hey, what if we made the origin story of the Walkers and how they got to Texas and how that legacy was built from the beginning. And I am fortunate enough to be playing Jared's great great great great grandmother, playing the first Walker in Texas and telling that history and telling that story of how they got to this part of Texas and how they became who they were and these sort of guardians of justice for the West. But you know, justice in eighteen seventy whatever it is, is very different than justice in twenty twenty two.
And you ride horses, you kick ass.
I try you do.
You kick some ass. It is such a fun ride. If you love Westerns, it's a show for you. If you're not sure, I feel like Westerns. It's a great introduction, I think, to the world that so many people love, in the genre that so many people love. How can people watch this?
We're airing on the CW right now. We are on Thursday nights at nine, and if you want to catch up on past episodes, they're on the CW website or they're app I believe. But what's really great about, you know, Westerns, is there's such nostalgia to them and that you know, yes, there's they're a very specific genre and certain people just don't enjoy them, and that's fine. But something about walk or dependence. We're sort of reinventing the Western. It's it's a very accessible Western. We've got a lot of modern music and our storylines, we've pushed the boundaries as much as we possibly can. But also there are a lot of perspectives to the West and a lot of stories that were never told or rarely get told because they're often sidelined by, you know, the classic story structure that has existed in this genre for so long. And what our writers are attempting to do is sort of turn that on its head and take everything you know about Westerns and make you question it and throw something new in there and show and tell these stories that haven't had a voice yet. And that's something that is so such an honor to be a part of.
And it's shot beautifully, I swear. There's all these close up shots of you, these like dramatic, dramatic close ups where you're doing these like pending looks and looking into the distance and questioning and I'm like, oh my god, Kat is serving me face right now.
Yes, thank you, thank you. That's that was a choice made by our Larry Tang is a brilliant director and he's one of our executive producers. But he did the first three episodes and he sort of set us up with the style and these they're called anamorphic lenses, so they're really wide lenses. They're more like a movie than a television show. And so we get these, you know, sweeping shots, and we're really able to capture this beauty and the character that is the West, and you know, the we shoot it in New Mexico, but the Texas quote unquote in the eighteen seventies, and it's it's just stunning, and every shot is like a painting, and I just marvel at our crew is just a gift. There's such wonderful people to go to work with every day, and that's you know, and you're in the dust and the wind, and you're crying and covered in blood and shooting things and riding horses and a corset for seventeen hours. You're so grateful to be surrounded by people that are lovely and you enjoy and are amazing not only artists but human beings.
Well, everybody on screen and off screen is fabulous. Everybody watched the show. It is so good. And Kat, as we come to a close, what is something you can tell me about that you're working on for yourself?
You know, it's something that I I realized during the pandemic and have been working on and I'm still learning to do. But you know, I'm as we've spoken about extensively, I'm always positive and always looking for the optimism in situations, always looking for that silver lanning. But something I realized, you know, I used to kind of used to bother me when it wasn't a good day or when you know, something was happening and I couldn't quite find that silver lining or I couldn't quite figure it out. And then I realized it was actually during the pandemic, because the first few months of the pandemic, I was on my own. It was me and Bob, the Bob the quarantine boyfriend, you know, my boxing dummy, just hanging out in my house. And there are some days where you're just going, you know what, this sucks. The world is so uncertain, I'm alone, what is happening, and realizing that it's a choice. And you know, even if everything's going wrong, or you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed or whatever it is, you can still have a good day. It's just choosing to find those little things it's going you know what, I'm gonna make a batch of cookies, or I'm gonna watch that old Disney film that always makes me smile, or I'm gonna go for a run, or I'm gonna call my friend, or I'm gonna do something that makes the day just a little bit better. And realizing that yeah, it's okay. Some days are not great. Some days are just things are going to happen, but it's the choosing to almost circumvent that and reinvent it and reframe it for yourself. That is that juxtaposition. You take that moment, you feel that emotion, you acknowledge and go all right, yeah, this sucks and this isn't isn't what I want to be happening. But you know what, that's okay, and it's okay if that happened, and we're going to move on from it and make it better. And it's that, you know, you take your moment and feel it and then make a positive choice and just try even the tiniest bit to just make it a little bit better. And you know, that's it's that balance that I think I'm working on and I think is something that I constantly try and remember.
Well, I think that's really cool you share that, because when people look at you and talk about you, it is often she's so positive, she's full of so much joy, which is all true. You are. But what we're saying right now is you too do have bad days, and oh yeah, it's okay to not always be okay right one hundred percent.
And that's that's part of being human, and that's honestly, that's why I love being an actor because we live in a world where you know, everything is the perfect filter and the perfect picture, and you know, we try and present all of these things to the world, but we forget that sometimes the most beautiful parts of being human are those moments of vulnerability and those moments of you know, brokenness that I always try and find it in characters and always try and play it on screen. But then it's it's the rising from the ashes, you know, which I've been fortunate that a lot of my characters have been able to do, and I have done at times myself in life. But it's the choice to do. So, you know, you can choose to live in whatever you're feeling and you need to feel it, and that's fine and it's human and it's wonderful. But then learn from it, grow from it, make a positive choice, and find the happy around it. Find that that silver lining, that ray of sunshine, and you'll feel so much stronger for it.
On the other side, well, Kat, in our friendship, I have learned so much from you, and it's really important for me as I launched a show, I want my first few guests to be people i'm genuinely close to. Because I know you in such an intimate and personal way, and I know you share who you are with everybody, but I wanted them to know a little bit more about the real cat, a little bit of a different side to the real cat, which you know, is why we talked about a lot of the things we did in the second half of this interview, because knowing the real cat is like knowing one of the most incredible human beings in the world, and I kind of love you more.
Well, thank you, Tommy. I feel the same way about you.
You know.
It's funny we when we first met and hung out and started chatting instantly, I felt as though we've been friends for a lifetime or in another life or something, which I think why we started talking about the initially. But it's I'm eternally grateful for friends like you who are so lovely and loving and genuine, and that's you are a gift, my friend. So this has been an absolute honor. Thank you for having me.
I've never said this before. Is hosted by me Tommy Diderio. This podcast is produced and edited by Mike Coscarelli, and executive producers are Andrew Piglici and Katrino norvel at iHeartRadio. I've Never said this before is part of the Elvis Durant podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts for more, rate, review and subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode, tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy Dedario.
