It's I Do Part two and it's your favorite real life bessies, Belma and Louise. It's been a minute since we've been on the podcast, but we're so excited about today's episodes. Today it's all about getting inside the mind of a man. How did they think? What are they like? So let's bring in our single guy, JD. And he is a total smoke show. So it's going to be so much fun unpacking with such a hotti.

It's I Do Part two and it's your favorite real life bessies, Belma and Louise. It's been a minute since we've been on the podcast, but we're so excited about today's episodes. Today it's all about getting inside the mind of a man. How did they think? What are they like? So let's bring in our single guy, JD. And he is a total smoke show. So it's going to be so much fun unpacking with such a hotti.

Well, JD, we have an on pretty good authority that you're an amazing guy. We obviously have friends of friends, so we're super excited to talk to you today and really want to just dive deep into your head so that you can help all of the female listeners out there figure out what we're doing right and maybe what we're doing wrong, and just give us a little direction. So kind of diving into the first question, help us understand how do you meet good quality guys out there?

Well, JD, we have an on pretty good authority that you're an amazing guy. We obviously have friends of friends, so we're super excited to talk to you today and really want to just dive deep into your head so that you can help all of the female listeners out there figure out what we're doing right and maybe what we're doing wrong, and just give us a little direction. So kind of diving into the first question, help us understand how do you meet good quality guys out there?

Yeah, it's a tough one to start out, but I'll tell you there's no one place I would say. Obviously, it can be a bar, it could be bumble, it could be anything like that. But if you want to get a little more strategic. I would say places where you have a shared interest. Right. I have a friend who is super into stailing, who's a woman, and she goes to bars in saucely Do and Tibron and goes to yacht club parties. She wants to meet someone who's into sailing like she is. So if you have a shared interest surfing, skiing, doing things where you're likely to meet somebody with a shared interest. Otherwise you've got bars, you've got bumble hinge, you know, eharmonymatch dot com and all that. I've seen those. All of those work for people, right, And I don't think there's necessary. It's a bad idea to try multiple options. Question.

Yeah, it's a tough one to start out, but I'll tell you there's no one place I would say. Obviously, it can be a bar, it could be bumble, it could be anything like that. But if you want to get a little more strategic. I would say places where you have a shared interest. Right. I have a friend who is super into stailing, who's a woman, and she goes to bars in saucely Do and Tibron and goes to yacht club parties. She wants to meet someone who's into sailing like she is. So if you have a shared interest surfing, skiing, doing things where you're likely to meet somebody with a shared interest. Otherwise you've got bars, you've got bumble hinge, you know, eharmonymatch dot com and all that. I've seen those. All of those work for people, right, And I don't think there's necessary. It's a bad idea to try multiple options. Question.

Now, what I have found in this day and age is because everybody is attached to their devices, even the apps or whatever.

Now, what I have found in this day and age is because everybody is attached to their devices, even the apps or whatever.

How often do you approach.

How often do you approach.

A table of I mean, obviously approaching a table with five women is daunting, but even like two girls sitting at a bar, how often do you do the old school method of perhaps sending over a glass of wine, or sending a note on a napkin, or going up and saying hello.

A table of I mean, obviously approaching a table with five women is daunting, but even like two girls sitting at a bar, how often do you do the old school method of perhaps sending over a glass of wine, or sending a note on a napkin, or going up and saying hello.

It feels like those days are few and far between.

It feels like those days are few and far between.

Yeah, that's a fair point. I'm very comfortable going up to a group of maybe two or three girls. I think if the group is five, six, eight girls, I'm probably not going to write. But if it's just two or three, I'm happy to go up and start a conversation or send a drink to a lot of them and try to start a conversation that way. So yeah, I do think. I think if you're trying to meet a guy, going out in really big groups is going to be intimidating. I would focus on having one or two people there with you.

Yeah, that's a fair point. I'm very comfortable going up to a group of maybe two or three girls. I think if the group is five, six, eight girls, I'm probably not going to write. But if it's just two or three, I'm happy to go up and start a conversation or send a drink to a lot of them and try to start a conversation that way. So yeah, I do think. I think if you're trying to meet a guy, going out in really big groups is going to be intimidating. I would focus on having one or two people there with you.

And what about how often do you experience the reverse like a girl kind of you know, seizing the day and being you know, super confident in her own skin and doing that. I mean, I recently, Selma and I have heard stories about you know, girls we know that are literally going out on a Saturday night to a hot spot and sitting at a bar by herself. That takes so much courage and confidence.

And what about how often do you experience the reverse like a girl kind of you know, seizing the day and being you know, super confident in her own skin and doing that. I mean, I recently, Selma and I have heard stories about you know, girls we know that are literally going out on a Saturday night to a hot spot and sitting at a bar by herself. That takes so much courage and confidence.

Yeah, I see. I think maybe people are more confident now. I don't know, but I've definitely had people come up and just say, hey, what's your deal? Or I had a woman say, can your dog is cute? Can I walk your dog? Sometime? Like, but I do think I think people are willing to try things and take a take a chance.

Yeah, I see. I think maybe people are more confident now. I don't know, but I've definitely had people come up and just say, hey, what's your deal? Or I had a woman say, can your dog is cute? Can I walk your dog? Sometime? Like, but I do think I think people are willing to try things and take a take a chance.

I think the dog. The dog is a good one. The dog is a good one. I mean, I feel like we're really missing talking about walking the dog or using your dog is like also servicing. Look at that she is servicing already. Can you imagine how antiquated? Right?

I think the dog. The dog is a good one. The dog is a good one. I mean, I feel like we're really missing talking about walking the dog or using your dog is like also servicing. Look at that she is servicing already. Can you imagine how antiquated? Right?

Yeah, I mean not only that she and then she said, I said, well do you are you just going to drop the dog at my place? And she said, well, no, I'm at the back of this restaurant. Just come and get the dog from there. And then we sat and ended up having dinner and drake, So she really she had a good game plan.

Yeah, I mean not only that she and then she said, I said, well do you are you just going to drop the dog at my place? And she said, well, no, I'm at the back of this restaurant. Just come and get the dog from there. And then we sat and ended up having dinner and drake, So she really she had a good game plan.

She larned you in. I also think that that's one of the things that there are a lot of things that we don't maybe have going for us as we age and like forty fifty years old whatever. But I do think, like I feel so sorry for our children because I do think that the thought of randomly walking up to somebody is so foreign to them because they are so into their devices and they don't meet anyone naturally anymore, or they feel like they know people before they've even met them because again all the cyberstalking and everything. But I do think that probably our generation there still exists a little bit of that, like we had to go out and meet people naturally, and maybe just even talking about this today it makes me realize like we should have hold onto that and try to we should like standing in a Starbucks line.

She larned you in. I also think that that's one of the things that there are a lot of things that we don't maybe have going for us as we age and like forty fifty years old whatever. But I do think, like I feel so sorry for our children because I do think that the thought of randomly walking up to somebody is so foreign to them because they are so into their devices and they don't meet anyone naturally anymore, or they feel like they know people before they've even met them because again all the cyberstalking and everything. But I do think that probably our generation there still exists a little bit of that, like we had to go out and meet people naturally, and maybe just even talking about this today it makes me realize like we should have hold onto that and try to we should like standing in a Starbucks line.

I mean, I was telling a friend of mine who never goes out, I said, Love isn't going to drop out.

I mean, I was telling a friend of mine who never goes out, I said, Love isn't going to drop out.

Of Netflix, right, you might have said that to me. No, but like you have to go out into the world, and it's believing. It's hard, but it's just changed so much. Being at the moment.

Of Netflix, right, you might have said that to me. No, but like you have to go out into the world, and it's believing. It's hard, but it's just changed so much. Being at the moment.

I remember when I graduated, I went to well, we all went to cal but graduating and in San Francisco. Back then, they had singles night at Safeway at the market on Sundays as an opportunity to meet people.

I remember when I graduated, I went to well, we all went to cal but graduating and in San Francisco. Back then, they had singles night at Safeway at the market on Sundays as an opportunity to meet people.

And I was like, they don't do that stuff anymore.

And I was like, they don't do that stuff anymore.

Single Safeway is pretty legendary. I would say, yeah, I have. I do have one tip to make it easier for people to gain that confidence, Like instead of saying to somebody, hey, I find you really attractive, or for the woman to say like do you have a girlfriend, like lower the like just say hey, I think your shirt is really cool, or like you have a just compliment something about the woman or the man, and then it's not that they could deal like hey, I just think it's a cool you have cool earrings. You're not taking this huge risk. It's like, right, you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, you can you can lower the bar of stress by just complimenting something like oh, your shoes your pants are like, your shoes are cool, and then that's not that stressful and they don't have to be like I do or don't have a boyfriend. So it lowers the pressure on both sides. So just ask a non threatening question like I like your sure.

Single Safeway is pretty legendary. I would say, yeah, I have. I do have one tip to make it easier for people to gain that confidence, Like instead of saying to somebody, hey, I find you really attractive, or for the woman to say like do you have a girlfriend, like lower the like just say hey, I think your shirt is really cool, or like you have a just compliment something about the woman or the man, and then it's not that they could deal like hey, I just think it's a cool you have cool earrings. You're not taking this huge risk. It's like, right, you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, you can you can lower the bar of stress by just complimenting something like oh, your shoes your pants are like, your shoes are cool, and then that's not that stressful and they don't have to be like I do or don't have a boyfriend. So it lowers the pressure on both sides. So just ask a non threatening question like I like your sure.

Felm and I had an interesting thing happened.

Felm and I had an interesting thing happened.

We were it was a Sunday, fun day for us, and we were sitting at the bar at South Beverly Gril Do you remember this Selmud? I do remember, And there was this like really handsome guy and for literally an hour we were talking to him and.

We were it was a Sunday, fun day for us, and we were sitting at the bar at South Beverly Gril Do you remember this Selmud? I do remember, And there was this like really handsome guy and for literally an hour we were talking to him and.

We were thinking, well, one of us is definitely going to get those guys nuver.

We were thinking, well, one of us is definitely going to get those guys nuver.

And then all of a sudden, you now see had a girlfriend, which was just interesting on so many levels. Do you remember that after like forty five minutes of him being pretty flirty, he.

And then all of a sudden, you now see had a girlfriend, which was just interesting on so many levels. Do you remember that after like forty five minutes of him being pretty flirty, he.

Didn't buy us a drink, So maybe that was really the side if we were buying our own drinks.

Didn't buy us a drink, So maybe that was really the side if we were buying our own drinks.

It doesn't sound like he likes his all for very much, but that's right.

It doesn't sound like he likes his all for very much, but that's right.

Or that he's or that he's faithful, little gray area ye issues here.

Or that he's or that he's faithful, little gray area ye issues here.

Yeah, yeah, I think we we salvaged ourselves on that one. Okay, what about like when you first see a girl, for example, a first date. We have curated and we feel like it's kind of tried and true for us where it's like what we feel super comfortable in its genes, so it's kind of casual and not you know, it kind of takes you to any restaurant that you might go to, but also like a really cute top that's not too revealing but still like you look good at it. So that's kind of our look. But I mean, we're not djusting for each other, right, well we are? We are, Oh, no, we are, we are.

Yeah, yeah, I think we we salvaged ourselves on that one. Okay, what about like when you first see a girl, for example, a first date. We have curated and we feel like it's kind of tried and true for us where it's like what we feel super comfortable in its genes, so it's kind of casual and not you know, it kind of takes you to any restaurant that you might go to, but also like a really cute top that's not too revealing but still like you look good at it. So that's kind of our look. But I mean, we're not djusting for each other, right, well we are? We are, Oh, no, we are, we are.

We have funny have all the same stuff, so the outfit is actually the great pair of jeans and we have nine thousand options and then a great top and like we've got pretty much all the same leather jackets that we toss over our shoulders, kind of like for warmth.

We have funny have all the same stuff, so the outfit is actually the great pair of jeans and we have nine thousand options and then a great top and like we've got pretty much all the same leather jackets that we toss over our shoulders, kind of like for warmth.

And we do text each other before we go out together because of highly probable that we're wearing the same outfit. But the question is what, like when you first meet a girl, what are you looking for or what are things that you notice where you're like, oh my gosh, great look or attractive?

And we do text each other before we go out together because of highly probable that we're wearing the same outfit. But the question is what, like when you first meet a girl, what are you looking for or what are things that you notice where you're like, oh my gosh, great look or attractive?

Oh yeah, well, I guess just clothing wise. I agree with the whole genes look and not having something that's crazy revealing. I think that's a good a good move. I will say one mistake I see women make sometimes is they go with some really cool pair of like flats that they have, And I would say I would say most men find a little bit of like a sandal or a wedge or something. Most men find that attractive unless they're you know, five foot four something. I would say most men would prefer that to your to your favorite flat show.

Oh yeah, well, I guess just clothing wise. I agree with the whole genes look and not having something that's crazy revealing. I think that's a good a good move. I will say one mistake I see women make sometimes is they go with some really cool pair of like flats that they have, And I would say I would say most men find a little bit of like a sandal or a wedge or something. Most men find that attractive unless they're you know, five foot four something. I would say most men would prefer that to your to your favorite flat show.

That's that's interesting. What about makeup? What's your feeling on makeup? And kind of like Glamorama.

That's that's interesting. What about makeup? What's your feeling on makeup? And kind of like Glamorama.

Yeah, it can be. It's nice when you don't, you don't have the reaction that it's a ton coming your way from I think that's a nice a nice vibe. But I mean, yeah, a little makeup's great if it's if it's really over the top, it might turn some people off. Some people might not care. But for me personally, a little bit more of a sporty I don't know, athletic vibe is more of my vibe. Some men might want someone who to just glamor and they freaking love it.

Yeah, it can be. It's nice when you don't, you don't have the reaction that it's a ton coming your way from I think that's a nice a nice vibe. But I mean, yeah, a little makeup's great if it's if it's really over the top, it might turn some people off. Some people might not care. But for me personally, a little bit more of a sporty I don't know, athletic vibe is more of my vibe. Some men might want someone who to just glamor and they freaking love it.

It's just although they better look the same when they wake up in the morning. Well that would be But that actually brings an interesting point. So when you're making a first date or a second date with somebody, do you prefer the hike slash coffee, throw on leggings kind of a thing, or do you prefer the you know, going out, glass of wine, a little bit of alcohol makes people a little more comfortable for the first date.

It's just although they better look the same when they wake up in the morning. Well that would be But that actually brings an interesting point. So when you're making a first date or a second date with somebody, do you prefer the hike slash coffee, throw on leggings kind of a thing, or do you prefer the you know, going out, glass of wine, a little bit of alcohol makes people a little more comfortable for the first date.

What's your preference.

What's your preference.

Yeah, I do think on the first date it's it's it's better not to do it date a middle of the daytime thing because you're trying to get a you're trying to get a spark and a romance going. So you could do a happy hour thing where hey, we're going to go for a hike at five and then we're going to meet and open some wine and have dinner. So I've done that before. I met somebody at four point thirty eight out like a roof deck and then we went to whatever. But the so, yeah, don't do a midday date and on your first date. You can hike on your second date. I think the key in the first date is to see if there's some type of spark there, and a three hour hike at you know, ten am is is not the right move.

Yeah, I do think on the first date it's it's it's better not to do it date a middle of the daytime thing because you're trying to get a you're trying to get a spark and a romance going. So you could do a happy hour thing where hey, we're going to go for a hike at five and then we're going to meet and open some wine and have dinner. So I've done that before. I met somebody at four point thirty eight out like a roof deck and then we went to whatever. But the so, yeah, don't do a midday date and on your first date. You can hike on your second date. I think the key in the first date is to see if there's some type of spark there, and a three hour hike at you know, ten am is is not the right move.

We're going to have to go back to that spark comment. But actually I do want to ask a question so on the concept of happy hour when a woman is sober, is that something that should be brought up.

We're going to have to go back to that spark comment. But actually I do want to ask a question so on the concept of happy hour when a woman is sober, is that something that should be brought up.

Before the date? Is it something that you know?

Before the date? Is it something that you know?

Is it feel weird when you guys are ordering your drink and she's like, I'll just have some hot water and lemon, Like, what is your feeling on that? Because we have a lot of sober friends who before a date kind of feel nervous about it. And I said recently to somebody, I said, look, if he's not okay with that, then he's not your guy, because you should be proud of your journey and where you are at yeah.

Is it feel weird when you guys are ordering your drink and she's like, I'll just have some hot water and lemon, Like, what is your feeling on that? Because we have a lot of sober friends who before a date kind of feel nervous about it. And I said recently to somebody, I said, look, if he's not okay with that, then he's not your guy, because you should be proud of your journey and where you are at yeah.

One hundred percent. If somebody doesn't think that their date drinks enough, I think they have some other things we're I've been there. If a woman is at ease and confident and doesn't need alcohol, then more power tour. The point is for someone to be at ease in their own skin, and if they do that, If somebody has that without drinking, I'd say that's bonus points. I don't think it's negative points at all.

One hundred percent. If somebody doesn't think that their date drinks enough, I think they have some other things we're I've been there. If a woman is at ease and confident and doesn't need alcohol, then more power tour. The point is for someone to be at ease in their own skin, and if they do that, If somebody has that without drinking, I'd say that's bonus points. I don't think it's negative points at all.

But I think I think if you, I mean, if you are feeling uncomfortable about it yourself about not drinking, I think it is best to let the person know before you go out, because it clears the air. If there is an issue, it comes up before the date. I mean, we've talked about this. He's like, we have friends who don't drink, and they've never drinking is not such a non issue for them. They don't even think of it as like, oh, like you have a problem with me ordering a drink. But we have other friends who are like, I'm kind of uncomfortable. What if they don't like the fact that I don't drink. And I think that that kind of gets back to just being super authentic with who you are and if there's things that you are insecure, not that you want to dump everything before you've even met somebody, But I don't think it's the wrong thing to let somebody know before you show up for the date, just so like expectations are set.

But I think I think if you, I mean, if you are feeling uncomfortable about it yourself about not drinking, I think it is best to let the person know before you go out, because it clears the air. If there is an issue, it comes up before the date. I mean, we've talked about this. He's like, we have friends who don't drink, and they've never drinking is not such a non issue for them. They don't even think of it as like, oh, like you have a problem with me ordering a drink. But we have other friends who are like, I'm kind of uncomfortable. What if they don't like the fact that I don't drink. And I think that that kind of gets back to just being super authentic with who you are and if there's things that you are insecure, not that you want to dump everything before you've even met somebody, But I don't think it's the wrong thing to let somebody know before you show up for the date, just so like expectations are set.

Yeah, I guess, I just I guess that's true. I don't think it's some big monster thing you have to reveal if you forget to say it before you go on to d I don't think it's that big of a deal, right, Like it is like, oh my god, I can't believe you did tell me that you don't drink, like it isn't you know? Or that you have ten kids, or that you're married. Right, It's not one of those types of gotchas. Where for me if someone said, oh, yeah, I'm I'm trying out this non drinking thing, I'd be like, right, like good for you whatever. I just I don't think it's a big elephant in the room. I guess is not. And I think a lot of people these days are into fitness and not drinking and other sober curious and all those kind of things.

Yeah, I guess, I just I guess that's true. I don't think it's some big monster thing you have to reveal if you forget to say it before you go on to d I don't think it's that big of a deal, right, Like it is like, oh my god, I can't believe you did tell me that you don't drink, like it isn't you know? Or that you have ten kids, or that you're married. Right, It's not one of those types of gotchas. Where for me if someone said, oh, yeah, I'm I'm trying out this non drinking thing, I'd be like, right, like good for you whatever. I just I don't think it's a big elephant in the room. I guess is not. And I think a lot of people these days are into fitness and not drinking and other sober curious and all those kind of things.

Right, So, circling back to the concept of a spark, So this is something that some and I speak about a lot on all of our dates, So I think when we were all starting out in life, the butterflies the spark.

Right, So, circling back to the concept of a spark, So this is something that some and I speak about a lot on all of our dates, So I think when we were all starting out in life, the butterflies the spark.

Were like, yes, soule me right.

Were like, yes, soule me right.

I don't know.

I don't know.

That doesn't always happen anymore.

That doesn't always happen anymore.

And I'm wondering now if that goes to that theory of that spark is really a mirror to kind of your childhood wounds that need to be resolved, right, And do you believe.

And I'm wondering now if that goes to that theory of that spark is really a mirror to kind of your childhood wounds that need to be resolved, right, And do you believe.

You have to have an initial kind of.

You have to have an initial kind of.

Kind of chemistry or do you feel that an amazing relationship can grow from each date as you begin to unpeel the onion and learn about their character and who they are, Like, how important do you think that in a spark?

Kind of chemistry or do you feel that an amazing relationship can grow from each date as you begin to unpeel the onion and learn about their character and who they are, Like, how important do you think that in a spark?

Is? Yeah, a great question, man. I've had people that I was very initially superficially attracted to and then became less attracted to them as I got to know them, right, And I've had the opposite right where somebody is maybe not you know, you weren't as drawn to them just superficially, but you got to know them and you just got more attracted than as a person. So I think you either have to be attracted to their looks or who they are one of those attractions is going to show up on your first daid and or the combination of that. So I guess it doesn't have to be all all looks. I've gone on dates with people that I didn't find that attractive and I'm like, I don't know if this is going to go anywhere, but I ended up being super intrigued by who they were as a person, and the spark came from there and we ended up continued to date. So I don't It doesn't matter where it comes from, but there needs to be somewhere you're intrigued or interested or there's a spark about who they are.

Is? Yeah, a great question, man. I've had people that I was very initially superficially attracted to and then became less attracted to them as I got to know them, right, And I've had the opposite right where somebody is maybe not you know, you weren't as drawn to them just superficially, but you got to know them and you just got more attracted than as a person. So I think you either have to be attracted to their looks or who they are one of those attractions is going to show up on your first daid and or the combination of that. So I guess it doesn't have to be all all looks. I've gone on dates with people that I didn't find that attractive and I'm like, I don't know if this is going to go anywhere, but I ended up being super intrigued by who they were as a person, and the spark came from there and we ended up continued to date. So I don't It doesn't matter where it comes from, but there needs to be somewhere you're intrigued or interested or there's a spark about who they are.

How many dates do you give it before you decide that? Do you at least go on a second date?

How many dates do you give it before you decide that? Do you at least go on a second date?

Yeah? If you don't, If you don't feel intrigued or interested or attracted to the person by the second date, there's a good chance that it's not going to happen on the third date. But yeah, I'd say something should happen on by the second date. Or maybe you're you guys are both bark up the wrong tree, that's my view.

Yeah? If you don't, If you don't feel intrigued or interested or attracted to the person by the second date, there's a good chance that it's not going to happen on the third date. But yeah, I'd say something should happen on by the second date. Or maybe you're you guys are both bark up the wrong tree, that's my view.

And then do you pretty head on say it was great meeting you, I wish you the best of Black didn't feel a romantic connection?

And then do you pretty head on say it was great meeting you, I wish you the best of Black didn't feel a romantic connection?

Or do you ghost?

Or do you ghost?

I mean, what's your move in terms of exiting something that you're not into?

I mean, what's your move in terms of exiting something that you're not into?

Yeah. I think people can handle the truth. I think they prefer it. So I would tell somebody, hey, it's it was very cool getting to know you. I don't I don't see a huge connection with us, and but it was totally my privilege to have time with you like that.

Yeah. I think people can handle the truth. I think they prefer it. So I would tell somebody, hey, it's it was very cool getting to know you. I don't I don't see a huge connection with us, and but it was totally my privilege to have time with you like that.

I like that. Let's filma, let's take note on that privilege word.

I like that. Let's filma, let's take note on that privilege word.

That would be good for us to.

That would be good for us to.

And what happens when you're like a month or two in to something and it's it's good, it has some good elements, but in your heart you think maybe you're fitting a square peg into a round hole, but yet you know.

And what happens when you're like a month or two in to something and it's it's good, it has some good elements, but in your heart you think maybe you're fitting a square peg into a round hole, but yet you know.

There's a lot of good there. What do you what do you do?

There's a lot of good there. What do you what do you do?

Luis? Are you maybe asking for a friend that you're really close to?

Luis? Are you maybe asking for a friend that you're really close to?

Yes, I'm asking for a friend and a community.

Yes, I'm asking for a friend and a community.

Close about a friend.

Close about a friend.

It sounds really close to home.

It sounds really close to home.

So was your question?

So was your question?

Was my question? Was?

Was my question? Was?

I want to make?

I want to make?

My question is you've given it a period of significant period of time and it's it's good, but it's not in your heart? It doesn't feel maybe one hundred percent, and that you're kind of fitting a square peg into a round hole and you're at different paces.

My question is you've given it a period of significant period of time and it's it's good, but it's not in your heart? It doesn't feel maybe one hundred percent, and that you're kind of fitting a square peg into a round hole and you're at different paces.

I don't know, like, yeah, well, I would just say if you're two months in, I mean often when you're with somebody that you really connect with, month two things are like, it's a feeling really pretty amazing.

I don't know, like, yeah, well, I would just say if you're two months in, I mean often when you're with somebody that you really connect with, month two things are like, it's a feeling really pretty amazing.

Can I if I don't know if I can use the F word on your show, but that it doesn't usually feel kind of like blah and terrible in months two, if there's a good, strong chnecy.

Can I if I don't know if I can use the F word on your show, but that it doesn't usually feel kind of like blah and terrible in months two, if there's a good, strong chnecy.

I don't say terrible. I'm saying it's even.

I don't say terrible. I'm saying it's even.

I'm just saying, if you're having those thoughts in month two, I would you know, I would share them and say, hey, I think you and I are a good fit. I don't And I actually said this to someone. I think we're a good fit. I don't think we're a great fit. And I think that's a fair.

I'm just saying, if you're having those thoughts in month two, I would you know, I would share them and say, hey, I think you and I are a good fit. I don't And I actually said this to someone. I think we're a good fit. I don't think we're a great fit. And I think that's a fair.

Oh that's another good one, and I'm going for greatness.

Oh that's another good one, and I'm going for greatness.

Yeah, we're only here once, so well, and that's why.

Yeah, we're only here once, so well, and that's why.

I keep saying to Luise, I feel like Louise, if I do say, if I can call you out, I feel like you often question when you go out with great people, like is something wrong with you or your standards too high? And they're a great person, and you list off all of the reasons they're amazing, and it's true, their resume and everything about them is amazing, but that doesn't mean that they're amazing for you.

I keep saying to Luise, I feel like Louise, if I do say, if I can call you out, I feel like you often question when you go out with great people, like is something wrong with you or your standards too high? And they're a great person, and you list off all of the reasons they're amazing, and it's true, their resume and everything about them is amazing, but that doesn't mean that they're amazing for you.

And I think we all do deserve the most And why cash in your chips now if you don't feel that feeling for people or a person.

And I think we all do deserve the most And why cash in your chips now if you don't feel that feeling for people or a person.

One hundred percent? Well, I mean yeah, I mean I had a two year marriage, had a twenty year marriage, so I can tell you how to get it wrong quickly and how to get it wrong slowly. But the last few years have been amazing.

One hundred percent? Well, I mean yeah, I mean I had a two year marriage, had a twenty year marriage, so I can tell you how to get it wrong quickly and how to get it wrong slowly. But the last few years have been amazing.

Wait, thirds of charms, so the next person you end up with is going to be your golden ticket.

Wait, thirds of charms, so the next person you end up with is going to be your golden ticket.

Yeah, but you say unicorn. I had somebody that I dated that was married twice before and he kept saying third times the charm, and I was like, well, I've only been married once, so who are you talking about? Your time was his charm.

Yeah, but you say unicorn. I had somebody that I dated that was married twice before and he kept saying third times the charm, and I was like, well, I've only been married once, so who are you talking about? Your time was his charm.

I don't think it matters whether it's the second tier of the four time. I think the key is that you've stopped some of the maybe the patterns that you used to fall into. I know that one of the what we were just talking about was, at least for me, it was settling for something that wasn't great, or that some behaviors that weren't great, and actually the just wanting it to be great. The last few years of my of my dating has been better than the rest of my life all put together. And it was basically just raising the bar, setting boundaries and being more picky and like, and I'm not talking about looks. I'm just saying being more picky about the connection. Like if it feels pretty average, it's probably pretty frickin' average, and like that's your connection is average, and it's that's it should feel better than that, and that's that's that's you know. And so having boundaries and being picky, I gotta say those are a big deal.

I don't think it matters whether it's the second tier of the four time. I think the key is that you've stopped some of the maybe the patterns that you used to fall into. I know that one of the what we were just talking about was, at least for me, it was settling for something that wasn't great, or that some behaviors that weren't great, and actually the just wanting it to be great. The last few years of my of my dating has been better than the rest of my life all put together. And it was basically just raising the bar, setting boundaries and being more picky and like, and I'm not talking about looks. I'm just saying being more picky about the connection. Like if it feels pretty average, it's probably pretty frickin' average, and like that's your connection is average, and it's that's it should feel better than that, and that's that's that's you know. And so having boundaries and being picky, I gotta say those are a big deal.

I just read the most fabulous book on boundaries transforming and it's so interesting that that's the word you're bringing up because I'm practicing boundaries. But I don't like to upset people or but I agree with you. Boundaries are absolutely key.

I just read the most fabulous book on boundaries transforming and it's so interesting that that's the word you're bringing up because I'm practicing boundaries. But I don't like to upset people or but I agree with you. Boundaries are absolutely key.

And a relationships at two way street, it has to work for both people, right, I mean, I don't know, Okay, moving on to children, because I think we all have children and they're getting older and so in our.

And a relationships at two way street, it has to work for both people, right, I mean, I don't know, Okay, moving on to children, because I think we all have children and they're getting older and so in our.

Forties or fifties.

Forties or fifties.

The big question is, you know, when you date people, does it matter how old their kids are? Do they have kids, do they not have kids? And jad what do you what's your take on that for you?

The big question is, you know, when you date people, does it matter how old their kids are? Do they have kids, do they not have kids? And jad what do you what's your take on that for you?

Like, what do you prefer?

Like, what do you prefer?

And what are novo zones for you? Yeah? For me, I have two kids, So if someone else has kids, it's great, we would share that in commons, So that's fantastic. If they don't, that's okay too, But I would actually prefer if they did. Age wise, it doesn't matter to me whether they're young or old. I'd say the biggest The only time that came up is when somebody was out of town and they had such young kids that it just there. There was no way to you know, for us to be in the same location.

And what are novo zones for you? Yeah? For me, I have two kids, So if someone else has kids, it's great, we would share that in commons, So that's fantastic. If they don't, that's okay too, But I would actually prefer if they did. Age wise, it doesn't matter to me whether they're young or old. I'd say the biggest The only time that came up is when somebody was out of town and they had such young kids that it just there. There was no way to you know, for us to be in the same location.

Right, So you would date somebody with a two year old, like you would date somebody to somebody's in the same.

Right, So you would date somebody with a two year old, like you would date somebody to somebody's in the same.

City as you and they have a two year old, that would be fine, although I do would prefer someone to not be I would not prefer a twenty year age gap. So as long as they're there they have a two year old, but they're ideally, you know, ten years or less age difference.

City as you and they have a two year old, that would be fine, although I do would prefer someone to not be I would not prefer a twenty year age gap. So as long as they're there they have a two year old, but they're ideally, you know, ten years or less age difference.

Kudos to you about your age, about the whole age appropriate thing, because we see a lot of that huge age split with the kind of cliche fifty year old guy and the twenty five year old girl and then all of a sudden they want kids and then you're either reversing a vasectomy or you're breaking up, and it's it's all super interesting.

Kudos to you about your age, about the whole age appropriate thing, because we see a lot of that huge age split with the kind of cliche fifty year old guy and the twenty five year old girl and then all of a sudden they want kids and then you're either reversing a vasectomy or you're breaking up, and it's it's all super interesting.

Yeah, I don't. I mean I tried that when I first first got single about four years ago, and I tried dating people in their you know, thirties and as well as forties and fifties, and I will tell you without a doubt, it was a deeper connection with somebody you have something at common with, right, And some of the people I was attracted to in their thirties was fun, but after a date or two, there was no that we didn't have anything in common. And so I think, unless you're really looking for something, unless someone's looking for something very superficial and short term and casual, you're you're barking up the wrong tree. If you want to be if you want to find someone you're connected with, it would be gonna You're gonna have a much better chance of being successful. If they're at least, you know, eight, maybe either are five ten years young or five ten years old, or maybe they're the exact same age. You've got a much better chance of having things in common and having a deep and deeper connection. That's my view, but other people might have views on that. But I look, I tried it. I didn't like it.

Yeah, I don't. I mean I tried that when I first first got single about four years ago, and I tried dating people in their you know, thirties and as well as forties and fifties, and I will tell you without a doubt, it was a deeper connection with somebody you have something at common with, right, And some of the people I was attracted to in their thirties was fun, but after a date or two, there was no that we didn't have anything in common. And so I think, unless you're really looking for something, unless someone's looking for something very superficial and short term and casual, you're you're barking up the wrong tree. If you want to be if you want to find someone you're connected with, it would be gonna You're gonna have a much better chance of being successful. If they're at least, you know, eight, maybe either are five ten years young or five ten years old, or maybe they're the exact same age. You've got a much better chance of having things in common and having a deep and deeper connection. That's my view, but other people might have views on that. But I look, I tried it. I didn't like it.

Do you care JD when you meet a girl on an app and she's lied about her age and the pictures aren't recent.

Do you care JD when you meet a girl on an app and she's lied about her age and the pictures aren't recent.

Yeah, again, I don't care as much about their age as the as the part that they need to lie or feel like they need to be somebody different. If someone's not comfortable in their own skin when they're twenty one, I get it, you're still becoming an adult. But if you're already an adult and you're lying to people, that's a big turn off for me. I don't care whether you're forty or fifty. But I care about is authenticity, and yeah, just be authentic.

Yeah, again, I don't care as much about their age as the as the part that they need to lie or feel like they need to be somebody different. If someone's not comfortable in their own skin when they're twenty one, I get it, you're still becoming an adult. But if you're already an adult and you're lying to people, that's a big turn off for me. I don't care whether you're forty or fifty. But I care about is authenticity, and yeah, just be authentic.

I mean, like, come on, yeah, it's like a gayway to future lying, right.

I mean, like, come on, yeah, it's like a gayway to future lying, right.

Yeah, Like I said, if you're eighteen and you're super insecure, maybe that's different. But if you're a grown up, like, come on, act it.

Yeah, Like I said, if you're eighteen and you're super insecure, maybe that's different. But if you're a grown up, like, come on, act it.

Yeah, do you have a preference on women who are career oriented professionals or do you prefer somebody who is more available?

Yeah, do you have a preference on women who are career oriented professionals or do you prefer somebody who is more available?

And you know, if you know, like.

And you know, if you know, like.

A stay at home mom or somebody who's more of a a homemaker. What is your you know, what are you more attracted to?

A stay at home mom or somebody who's more of a a homemaker. What is your you know, what are you more attracted to?

Yeah, I mean I guess I I'm attracted to intelligence and most it depends on what stage they're in. Right, As I said, I if if we're having kids together, that's different. But if if they have young kids there and they don't have to work, that's great. If they if that's fine for them. But I'm I'm I'm not. I would just say I'm not not attracted to people who focused on full time with their kids, or they focus on their career and or they tried to juggle they're juggling both. Either is fine. I would say, there's nothing there's neither one is unattractive it there's there's no downside there. I think if the person is if if they're intelligent and they're hard working and they make choices like what's I just don't see a negative there. I think if I was if I was just about to if I was just about to have kids, and then I'd be having a different conversation with somebody about interesting, what do you want to do with kids?

Yeah, I mean I guess I I'm attracted to intelligence and most it depends on what stage they're in. Right, As I said, I if if we're having kids together, that's different. But if if they have young kids there and they don't have to work, that's great. If they if that's fine for them. But I'm I'm I'm not. I would just say I'm not not attracted to people who focused on full time with their kids, or they focus on their career and or they tried to juggle they're juggling both. Either is fine. I would say, there's nothing there's neither one is unattractive it there's there's no downside there. I think if the person is if if they're intelligent and they're hard working and they make choices like what's I just don't see a negative there. I think if I was if I was just about to if I was just about to have kids, and then I'd be having a different conversation with somebody about interesting, what do you want to do with kids?

Do you know guys who are not into career women and who subscribe to the concept of somebody who's you know, at home waving on them hand and foot and doing all that, or do you feel like it's a little more balanced now, like you know, the traditional fifties mad men wife versus I don't know.

Do you know guys who are not into career women and who subscribe to the concept of somebody who's you know, at home waving on them hand and foot and doing all that, or do you feel like it's a little more balanced now, like you know, the traditional fifties mad men wife versus I don't know.

I mean, I think this is a we're talking about like a one percent scenario or a five percent scenario. I think in the real world, both people are probably working or doing something, and if there are, there are people that have the ability that not work, and that's great.

I mean, I think this is a we're talking about like a one percent scenario or a five percent scenario. I think in the real world, both people are probably working or doing something, and if there are, there are people that have the ability that not work, and that's great.

I think it's about other things though, I don't think necessarily about working or not working. I think I think a fear for some divorced men are that like, hey, I just got out of something and it was heavy or it was financially very costly, and as much as I'm looking for another relationship, I don't know if I have it in me to like take on a second family or support a woman. So I think that is more often the case for at least that I never see than it's like, do I want somebody staying at home and doting on me full time?

I think it's about other things though, I don't think necessarily about working or not working. I think I think a fear for some divorced men are that like, hey, I just got out of something and it was heavy or it was financially very costly, and as much as I'm looking for another relationship, I don't know if I have it in me to like take on a second family or support a woman. So I think that is more often the case for at least that I never see than it's like, do I want somebody staying at home and doting on me full time?

Yeah? I agree, I don't. I don't think there's too many mad men types still out there. They're saying, you know, please have a home cooked meal when I walk in the door. I think I think your point is really valid, which is if somebody thinks somebody is has a huge financial like they were married and that person was there thirty thousand dollars a month that kept their life a flood, and now they don't have that and there, and it's a it's adding to your financial situation because that's on you. I would say, if someone doesn't work, but they have the ability to not work, or they do work because they want to work, or they don't need to work and they do other things, that's great. But if they're showing up with this huge, huge financial thing like can you please take over my twenty five grand a month of payments, that's that's probably going to get some people a little bit, a little bit.

Yeah? I agree, I don't. I don't think there's too many mad men types still out there. They're saying, you know, please have a home cooked meal when I walk in the door. I think I think your point is really valid, which is if somebody thinks somebody is has a huge financial like they were married and that person was there thirty thousand dollars a month that kept their life a flood, and now they don't have that and there, and it's a it's adding to your financial situation because that's on you. I would say, if someone doesn't work, but they have the ability to not work, or they do work because they want to work, or they don't need to work and they do other things, that's great. But if they're showing up with this huge, huge financial thing like can you please take over my twenty five grand a month of payments, that's that's probably going to get some people a little bit, a little bit.

Unsure of the gibi.

Unsure of the gibi.

That would give somebody pause. But outside of somebody having a financial crisis that needs solving. I don't think people care if somebody works or doesn't work.

That would give somebody pause. But outside of somebody having a financial crisis that needs solving. I don't think people care if somebody works or doesn't work.

But I've found and I don't know, I've just been listening to a bunch of interviews lately, and maybe it's like the girlfriends that I hang out with. I feel like I am seeing a lot of women that, yes, they want to meet somebody, but they don't want it to be there everything. You know, They're not looking for a traditional life or somebody that they want to spend necessarily all their time I'm with, because they do have other interests, especially when all of a sudden you're fifty, you have a lot of years, right and you've developed kind of your own life, and especially if you've been divorced for a while. But I feel like I'm seeing more and more women who are like, yeah, I really want to meet somebody, but I don't know necessarily how much I want to compromise. And I think some of the men that I see out there, that these women or we are lucky and fortunate enough to connect with, they seem to want more like more attention and are a little more needy and I'm not necessarily it doesn't really tell well.

But I've found and I don't know, I've just been listening to a bunch of interviews lately, and maybe it's like the girlfriends that I hang out with. I feel like I am seeing a lot of women that, yes, they want to meet somebody, but they don't want it to be there everything. You know, They're not looking for a traditional life or somebody that they want to spend necessarily all their time I'm with, because they do have other interests, especially when all of a sudden you're fifty, you have a lot of years, right and you've developed kind of your own life, and especially if you've been divorced for a while. But I feel like I'm seeing more and more women who are like, yeah, I really want to meet somebody, but I don't know necessarily how much I want to compromise. And I think some of the men that I see out there, that these women or we are lucky and fortunate enough to connect with, they seem to want more like more attention and are a little more needy and I'm not necessarily it doesn't really tell well.

That might be specific to the two of you that the men are just saying, look, it's going well, and they're just trying to, you know, get more of you. But but yeah, I think I think if a man is confident in his own skin and he's going to feel the vibe and the pace that the woman wants, if she's feeling like two days a week is perfect, like you're if you don't pick up on those clues, you're probably not paying attention. And if you're like, well, no, we have to see each other six days a.

That might be specific to the two of you that the men are just saying, look, it's going well, and they're just trying to, you know, get more of you. But but yeah, I think I think if a man is confident in his own skin and he's going to feel the vibe and the pace that the woman wants, if she's feeling like two days a week is perfect, like you're if you don't pick up on those clues, you're probably not paying attention. And if you're like, well, no, we have to see each other six days a.

Week, it's like go back to the pool. It's like, go back to the pool. So you think they're both they're men that want the two days a week and they're men that want the fun.

Week, it's like go back to the pool. It's like, go back to the pool. So you think they're both they're men that want the two days a week and they're men that want the fun.

Yeah, I agree. I think there's plenty of people that are happy to have an independent person with a full life that wants to hang out a couple of days a week. You're you know, everyone's person is out there.

Yeah, I agree. I think there's plenty of people that are happy to have an independent person with a full life that wants to hang out a couple of days a week. You're you know, everyone's person is out there.

So when you're dating somebody new, what are some of the women's interests that you think are sexy versus something that couldtentially be a turnoff to you.

So when you're dating somebody new, what are some of the women's interests that you think are sexy versus something that couldtentially be a turnoff to you.

Well, I'm going to go in reverse order and start with the turnoffs. I would say, if the only hobbies they can come up with are shopping, travel, and I'm a foodie. I like to go out and eat and drink. Those I would say don't really count because we all eat and drink, and we all travel, and we all buy stuff. So I don't think. I think if somebody, if that's someone's list, I would say, that's a bit of a red flag. Like you, you you should have other things besides that, So that's kind of the the red flag list. In terms of I don't know what sex. I think just somebody who has who's passionate about stuff and has interest and it's not just TV or whatever they want to they want to do things. I'm obviously, I'm kind of an outdoorsy person, so I like people that are active and do some active stuff. I also like people that you know, read and are in book clubs. So I don't think it matters what you're into as long as you're into something, and hopefully some of them overlap. But yeah, don't don't say shopping, travel and eating out. I would say stay away from that.

Well, I'm going to go in reverse order and start with the turnoffs. I would say, if the only hobbies they can come up with are shopping, travel, and I'm a foodie. I like to go out and eat and drink. Those I would say don't really count because we all eat and drink, and we all travel, and we all buy stuff. So I don't think. I think if somebody, if that's someone's list, I would say, that's a bit of a red flag. Like you, you you should have other things besides that, So that's kind of the the red flag list. In terms of I don't know what sex. I think just somebody who has who's passionate about stuff and has interest and it's not just TV or whatever they want to they want to do things. I'm obviously, I'm kind of an outdoorsy person, so I like people that are active and do some active stuff. I also like people that you know, read and are in book clubs. So I don't think it matters what you're into as long as you're into something, and hopefully some of them overlap. But yeah, don't don't say shopping, travel and eating out. I would say stay away from that.

When you're on a date or you've gone on a few dates, what is your feeling on sharing the bill, paying the bill, like what do you think is kind of like the financial at different ages? Obviously it's different, right in different generations. But you are a guy who dates age appropriate, right, you've raised children. What is your feeling on that?

When you're on a date or you've gone on a few dates, what is your feeling on sharing the bill, paying the bill, like what do you think is kind of like the financial at different ages? Obviously it's different, right in different generations. But you are a guy who dates age appropriate, right, you've raised children. What is your feeling on that?

Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's because I'm in my fifties and but I would say for me, you should be picking up the first and second date the man some a little old school that way.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's because I'm in my fifties and but I would say for me, you should be picking up the first and second date the man some a little old school that way.

That answer works for us.

That answer works for us.

We don't. We believe in shil I don't get it. Look, I very you know women are equals and powerful, but at the same time you get a chance to be a man and and take care of someone on a date that you've asked them out, Like, I don't. I don't see if you don't want to pay for the verst or second date, you've asked out the wrong person. That's my bed.

We don't. We believe in shil I don't get it. Look, I very you know women are equals and powerful, but at the same time you get a chance to be a man and and take care of someone on a date that you've asked them out, Like, I don't. I don't see if you don't want to pay for the verst or second date, you've asked out the wrong person. That's my bed.

I mean, JD, I feel like we should clone you. Like your answers are amazing.

I mean, JD, I feel like we should clone you. Like your answers are amazing.

Again, if you ask someone there, thank you. If you have someone of their twenties who's living in their parents' basement that might say, they might say.

Again, if you ask someone there, thank you. If you have someone of their twenties who's living in their parents' basement that might say, they might say.

Sure, it's a different different for sure.

Sure, it's a different different for sure.

Okay, what about like how heavy do you go in terms of conversation when you first start dating somebody, I e. Politics. You know, I don't think I don't know anyone who goes in their credit score, but like you know, like what's your what's your comfort level with like when you first meet somebody in terms of like okay, let's start high And it doesn't maybe even make sense to ask these questions until I really know or we get deeper into a relationship or do you like to vet people out quickly?

Okay, what about like how heavy do you go in terms of conversation when you first start dating somebody, I e. Politics. You know, I don't think I don't know anyone who goes in their credit score, but like you know, like what's your what's your comfort level with like when you first meet somebody in terms of like okay, let's start high And it doesn't maybe even make sense to ask these questions until I really know or we get deeper into a relationship or do you like to vet people out quickly?

Yeah, it's a good question. I mean I think some of that stuff's going to come out anyway. I was I was on a first date with someone. I didn't ask about their politics, but it came out anyway, and then I didn't choose a second day with the person, So I don't I don't really have a rule for that. I would say, you know, conversations go where they are, and I usually just try to let them flow if if there's something you really need to know, like if I was a woman who was thirty five who wanted kids, I might on the first or second date say hey, what are your thoughts about kids? Like I but I don't personally have I think I think things are going to come out. People are gonna tell you about themselves. That's the whole point. And but yeah, I will now lately, lately, I think i'd be curious about if I haven't figured out the politics by the second date, I might ask because it is becoming a little bit more of a divisive issue, and if it didn't come out naturally, I might ask, Okay.

Yeah, it's a good question. I mean I think some of that stuff's going to come out anyway. I was I was on a first date with someone. I didn't ask about their politics, but it came out anyway, and then I didn't choose a second day with the person, So I don't I don't really have a rule for that. I would say, you know, conversations go where they are, and I usually just try to let them flow if if there's something you really need to know, like if I was a woman who was thirty five who wanted kids, I might on the first or second date say hey, what are your thoughts about kids? Like I but I don't personally have I think I think things are going to come out. People are gonna tell you about themselves. That's the whole point. And but yeah, I will now lately, lately, I think i'd be curious about if I haven't figured out the politics by the second date, I might ask because it is becoming a little bit more of a divisive issue, and if it didn't come out naturally, I might ask, Okay.

So politics is important to you. I mean, it's for people's political.

So politics is important to you. I mean, it's for people's political.

Views, it is. It doesn't necessarily matter well it, Yeah, it matters how open minded someone is politically versus maybe how far they are to the extreme. That does matter to me. A debt, them having.

Views, it is. It doesn't necessarily matter well it, Yeah, it matters how open minded someone is politically versus maybe how far they are to the extreme. That does matter to me. A debt, them having.

Debt, Yeah, people have debt. Maybe that goes up there with shopping. If she's a shopper, I.

Debt, Yeah, people have debt. Maybe that goes up there with shopping. If she's a shopper, I.

Don't think of minds. If somebody has a little bit of debt.

Don't think of minds. If somebody has a little bit of debt.

I mean, well, as long as the expectations you're not cleaning up the debt.

I mean, well, as long as the expectations you're not cleaning up the debt.

Yeah, if somebody's in full financial crisis, that's fine. If they came out of a divorce and they lost and their business went under and they're in debt, that's fine. I think it's more an issue of somebody who's like I have this lifestyle, I want to maintain it, and would you please maintain it as long as as long as someone say something like that, you could say, hey, I just my business just went under. I'm one hundred grand in debt, or I.

Yeah, if somebody's in full financial crisis, that's fine. If they came out of a divorce and they lost and their business went under and they're in debt, that's fine. I think it's more an issue of somebody who's like I have this lifestyle, I want to maintain it, and would you please maintain it as long as as long as someone say something like that, you could say, hey, I just my business just went under. I'm one hundred grand in debt, or I.

Got a divorce, But it's not this reckless spending that basically les.

Got a divorce, But it's not this reckless spending that basically les.

Right, I got a divorce and I'm in debt because of that, and but it'll all work itself out. I don't think that's I don't think that's attractive or unattractive. It's it's it's not. I don't think it's an issue unless you're really saying, please take on my my my golf club and my yacht club and my shopping allowance.

Right, I got a divorce and I'm in debt because of that, and but it'll all work itself out. I don't think that's I don't think that's attractive or unattractive. It's it's it's not. I don't think it's an issue unless you're really saying, please take on my my my golf club and my yacht club and my shopping allowance.

And that's pretty transparent usually with both girls, right.

And that's pretty transparent usually with both girls, right.

I think so. But yeah, so I don't. I don't think being in debt or being wealthy or not wealthy for men is an issue at all. I don't. It's not even on the top twenty Well.

I think so. But yeah, so I don't. I don't think being in debt or being wealthy or not wealthy for men is an issue at all. I don't. It's not even on the top twenty Well.

I would say though that you know, the last person that I dated, we both said that we felt fortunate because we both had the luxury to be able to travel. Right, Because if somebody can't do some of the same things that you can at a certain point, right before you're truly committed. That can limit what one person can do, or it puts the burden all on somebody else.

I would say though that you know, the last person that I dated, we both said that we felt fortunate because we both had the luxury to be able to travel. Right, Because if somebody can't do some of the same things that you can at a certain point, right before you're truly committed. That can limit what one person can do, or it puts the burden all on somebody else.

It could. But at the same point, if I have if I have the means to travel ten times as much as the other person, then why am I not just picking up their travel bill?

It could. But at the same point, if I have if I have the means to travel ten times as much as the other person, then why am I not just picking up their travel bill?

Like?

Like?

Yeah, I mean, if you're like, I want to travel every month, the other person's like, well, I can't afford to do it every year, go on six trips right on? Like pay for three or four of their trips, Like I don't. I If you're that much more fortunate, then share with the person that you want to spend time with. So, I I don't know, I don't see that as a big, a big issue. I think if somebody works, if they're opened up in AIRBB in a restaurant and they work one hundred hours a week, that's more of an issue if you're not getting time with them, right you might, right? Yeah?

Yeah, I mean, if you're like, I want to travel every month, the other person's like, well, I can't afford to do it every year, go on six trips right on? Like pay for three or four of their trips, Like I don't. I If you're that much more fortunate, then share with the person that you want to spend time with. So, I I don't know, I don't see that as a big, a big issue. I think if somebody works, if they're opened up in AIRBB in a restaurant and they work one hundred hours a week, that's more of an issue if you're not getting time with them, right you might, right? Yeah?

And So in terms of attraction, though, what would you say your top three qualities that you look for in a woman and a potential love interest.

And So in terms of attraction, though, what would you say your top three qualities that you look for in a woman and a potential love interest.

Yeah, that's a that's a good one, but a tough one. I would say. I mean, there's some basic physical attraction that someone is within your age group, and you know it is not forty years older or forty years older. But assuming that you have some attraction and you're not unattracted to somebody, I think for me it would be yeah, I mean like like playful sense of humor, not taking themselves too seriously. I think somebody with that kind of positive energy is very attractive. Someone who is well, I'm starting to think about the negatives, but so I'm just gonna.

Yeah, that's a that's a good one, but a tough one. I would say. I mean, there's some basic physical attraction that someone is within your age group, and you know it is not forty years older or forty years older. But assuming that you have some attraction and you're not unattracted to somebody, I think for me it would be yeah, I mean like like playful sense of humor, not taking themselves too seriously. I think somebody with that kind of positive energy is very attractive. Someone who is well, I'm starting to think about the negatives, but so I'm just gonna.

Go say negative. Though, your top three negatives I'd be curious about.

Go say negative. Though, your top three negatives I'd be curious about.

I would say, you know, people that are super critical or or very controlling are probably are the the two things that I would be the least attracted to. I think people who are have kind of a positive comfort in their own skin. They're playful, they have a good sense of humor. Confidence is super attractive. I mean confidence and personality are probably the two biggest things I would say for me for attraction. I mean that is it. We talked about authenticity earlier. I mean that comfort and ease in yourself, not taking yourself or life too seriously, all of that authenticity part is huge. Yeah for me personally. Again, guys may have a different list, but for me, it's it's that's at the very top, and then obviously some it's it's nice to have a physical attraction to somebody and that they're they're not you know, they're not you know, thirty years older or thirty younger.