I Do, Part 2Kelly is single and ready to mingle, so her producers are setting her up with Mr. Tennis! We're breaking it all down, including their flirty text messages!
Later, Kelly and Cheryl discuss recycling men from first dates past with friends and whether we should be doing platonic friendship setups post-divorce.
Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)
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Welcome back to IG Part two.
It's Kelly ben Simone, one of your celebrity mentors here on the pod. I am having so much fun with this show, and I've been really open about putting myself back out there into the dating scene and just being really open to meeting people and having a good time. So today we're going to talk about setups not only in the romantic but also in the platonic. So we're meeting Cheryl Burke, who I love so much, and also my producers Amy Sugarman and Heather Monday are also have set me up and are going to set me up with a platonic relationship, a new friend and a romantic one.
So I have a lot of fun.
In So what we want people to know is this is real, right, It's not it's not like we didn't cast this person.
It's not a celebrity.
This is an actual, real setup that we hope on the romantic one that you'll really possibly like this guy.
So it's it's totally real.
But we do have his permission to give all the details.
So we want to take everyone on this journey with you.
Yes, this has been very exciting and very fun, so Amy Sugarman introduced me to a really nice guy.
He's a lawyer.
Hey, what do we call him? Do we call him tennis Man? Do we call him?
Because he's a real guy? Because this is a total guy.
Not a famous person, not a person on a dating show, not a person like who wants to be on the reality show. It's a real guy. So we just got to give him a nickname. So what are we calling him?
The tennis Man?
Oh?
Mister Tennis.
Okay, that's really good.
Okay, Yeah, So.
I've known mister Tennis since seventh grade and I'm fifty, so that's a lot of years. I know his family. His sister's one of my oldest friends. I know his parents, so I can definitely vouch for this guy.
And basically he was in a relationship.
He's out of that relationship, and I said, Hey, I want to set you up with my friend Kelly.
He did know who you were, like, he's never.
Really watched, but he knew your name and I think he knew what you looked like.
Ok.
And so basically we started a text group with the.
Four of us. He probably was like, why are there two supervisors in here?
But so we want everyone listening, like we're going to tell you the real, real stuff.
So Heather read, So basically, I started.
The text and said, Amy played matchmaker, Kelly, meet mister Tennis, and then read what Kelly's first text was.
Kelly said, Aloha.
I don't live in Hawaii, but I think Aloha really sums me up, sonny and happy about everything.
Have an amazing holiday season.
Now, did Jana not tell you not to write aloha anymore?
She did?
Okay, so that's Finana Kramer did.
Jana Kramer did tell me her advice was to not write aloha, but it's just.
Like my thing.
That's fine, you be you.
And I also like the fact that it's like very me because it is very sunny. But it's also like no one says aloa must It's.
Fine, it's fine, It's totally fine. We're not gonna judge it. We're just gonna do it. So then he responded quickly, and Heather and I were still in the text at this point, and then Heather what did he say next?
He said, Hey, Amy, you're amazing and always looking out for me. I'm very appreciate of that, Kelly. I'm glad we have connected. Amy says nothing but great things about you. Your energy is fun and cool, positive and smart with an amazing smile. I live in LA and from San Francisco Bay Area. My work office is headquartered in New York. Have a great holiday season. We'd love to connect over the phone and or in person at some point soon.
Okay, so all right, let's analyze this.
He's got some game, right, Like I think he's got game because he's super nice, but he also is like dropping the carrot or whatever the saying would be. He's dangling the carrot. He's saying, let's connect on the phone.
So he's figuring out a way to get me and Heather out.
Of there, and then he's saying some nice compliments acknowledging he knows who you are and he's seen you. And then also he's kind of moving it along right like he's saying, let's maybe see each other in.
Per And he's also saying that your area is already on his radar, like he, oh, yeah, not a problem for you to be on the East coast, Like that works for him, is what he's saying. And he's throwing in a really nice compliment saying that you have a beautiful smile. So he's showing attraction as well in this message.
So, Kelly, how did you feel when you first got the text? And have you seen his picture? Have I sent you a picture of him?
He sent me, yes, a thirst trap was very attractive. Yes, oh good, okay, yeah he said.
You a thirst trap?
Yeah, he said, Amy said this was a thirst trap?
Wait which picture did he send you? Is he with the kids?
Stless at the gym? Like where is he?
He sent me one with his kids, but he sent me one where he's like on a blue T shirt and he's kind of like looking out, and then he said another one.
He's obviously playing tennis because he'd in green and he's like looking down.
He's a really good tennis player.
Yeah, definitely athletic, which I love. And he's also he's just you know, I like, I really like smart.
Yeah, he's really smart. So how we went to college together? Also, so we went to Berkeley, so I will out that he went.
He's smart.
So how did you feel based on his first text before you saw the picture? Just from the text, were you feeling like, I don't know, just judge the text?
Reading his text was like so nice and it was really sweet for him to be complimentary, but not like mushy.
He just was like, you're funny.
You know, you have a nice personality, and you know he could tell immediately. I think that's when the aloha is nice because like people are like, oh my god, she's like playful and I'm not taking myself too seriously. And he was also very proactive about making a plan. And he's been like, yeah, okay, when am I talking to you on the phone. I'm like, well okay, oh my god.
Yeah, so he's like okay.
So behind the scenes, he did call me because he sort of said, should I go to New York? Because he does he doesn't have his kids right now, so he was like, uh, should.
I do that?
And I did encourage him.
I'm like, hey, like Kurpe, dim do this, Like yeah, And you would have been excited, right if he jumped on a plane.
Oh he was supposed to come tonight because he has his kids tomorrow, and he was I thought that was also really amazing that he was just going to hop on a plane, come and see me for dinner and then leave the next day and see his kids. Like that's like real, that's like legit. It's not like, let me talk to you after the New Year. Hope you're having a nice time.
Yeah.
He's definitely not like half assing this. He's like, I want to go out with you, which I think is great.
And he's also like a real human, like he's a dad, he's he has a great job, like he's a real human.
He's not you know, So what has happened since?
He Okay, so he basically started texting you.
Without Heather and I being able to see. So we can't see it anymore. So what have you guys talked on the phone or just text or what not yet?
But he said, uh, hi, kel, I hope you're having a great Christmas and save travels Vermont. I said, Aloha is working today hopefully leaving leaving tomorrow.
Vermont.
How's your And then I said how's your day? He said Aloha?
He loves it.
He goes, Aloha working the day after Christmas is very impressive. I should too, but I started running errands and haven't stopped going to play tennis around four thirty.
That's very cool. Vermont looks so peaceful.
I'm watching this show on Peacock called based on a true story, which is so ridiculous, but I now kind of like it.
I needed a break from the drama thrillers.
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, because I want to follow this. So he's watching it, or you're watching it.
He's watching it.
Oh, so he's really engaging. Okay, Okay, good keep going.
That's a good show.
By the way, I'm going to watch it.
He's telling me what he's doing, which is like, it's not like hey, I'm He's like, this is my day, Kelly, I'm playing to mister Tennis is like playing tennis and he's watching you know, Peacock.
He's also a meaty texter, like these are like yeah, little paragraphs. It's really putting some thought behind it. You're not getting the one word answer. You're not getting like multiple bubbles. You're getting like nice, little meaty responses, which I think is a good sign.
Okay, let me ask Okay, I'm gonna finish reading that and then I want to ask you about the bubbles and the meaty texting. So remind me of that. So he said, looks Pete von Vermont, looks peaceful. He's he's watching Peacock. That we should talk over the phone at some point, right, Oh.
That's good.
I like that he wrote that, I know there are there are rules blah blah blah.
But what do you think?
What are the rules? What does he mean there are rules?
I don't know. I don't know. Is he remember the book the rules? Remember the book?
Yeah?
Okay?
And I said, I'd love that exclamation point. Tell me when the house I'm saying at is an old inn. I'm excited to relax and ski. And then he said, so he goes, okay, He's like back to the date. He's like, that's nice to hear about your of a cover modifacation. But Kelly, he was like, this is text they're trying to like the president.
Kelly. I like that he uses my name. But I know there is a.
Time difference, So don't want to call you too late. I can try around nine thirty or ten.
Oh, so you're supposed to get a call tonight.
Yes, I know, getting a call in like three hours? Okay, I can, I can.
I can call you tonight your time or this weekend or on a chairlift or something.
That was very clever and fun. That's so nice. While I'm jealous with lax, the wine chill you deserve it.
I mean, that's just a very also thoughtful, you know, way of understanding what I'm doing, but also saying like we're doing this per meeting.
That's a that's a flirty technique he's using by saying your name in the text. That is a flirting technique to show your interest and engaged. When you continue to say somebody's name to them back and forth. That's he's very interested. This is like really good green green flag, green flag, you know.
Yeah, And I like that he's scheduling the time for the call you too, that's good too.
And I'm not coaching him up at all.
He's doing this all on his own, other than asking me if it was like too crazy for him to come visit you soon, and I said, no, it's not.
Do it.
That's so cute.
So here's my question about the bubbles, because okay, so my youngest daughter said, you're only supposed to have a little bit of blue and they're supposed to be more of the conversation. That's like that, that's one of the things that were that that you're you're.
Supposed to do in texting.
So but I so then I was like, well, okay, so I'll do like I do like one bubble, two bubbles, three bubbles and then I'll stop. But he does a meaty text like to Heather's points, So what do you I mean not that there's any rules, And again I know I'm not I'm I'm not following rules and doing whatever whatever I want in a genuine way, but just to be mindful of like people's phone time, Like what is normal protocol?
I think you just said it.
You do what you want. You're you're having good bab answer back and forth. You're in different time zones. I say, do what you want. It's not like you're blowing him up at three in the morning, you know, on his coast and six am where you are. You know, you're being mindful. He's wanting to actually take it off of texting and go.
To a phone call. So I think that's even better.
This is what I prefer about a setup versus like dating apps that I I feel it's just terrible, these dating apps that people have to use, because I think that's when you start playing this weird game and you're all like you don't know this person.
It's like you you know me, I've set you up. This guy knows you he's a good guy.
He has every intention of being a good guy going out with you. We know he thinks you're cute, So I think you it's easier you just be you and he's gonna be him.
I think the apps are make it really hard, but with.
The flow, because let's say tonight's call goes really well, then you want to like talk again tomorrow.
Talk again tomorrow, do another.
Cally do right, and don't feel like, oh I need to like be less available.
To like show him that I'm not. Don't don't do any of that. Don't play that. That's a game.
Your daughters are in their twenties and a lot next and flirting, you have to follow that kind of protocol. When you're in your I do part two, those things go out the window.
Yeah, I agree, I agree.
Wait, okay, so first of all, we're gonna definitely have to talk to you on air tomorrow so we can find out how the call goes tonight. So just you know, try to remember, take a little bit of notes because, like I said, this is a real guy, but he has given us permission to give all the details, so we're not betraying that.
No, And you know what else, I really liked is that he said, you know, we can talk tonight. We can he wants to talk tonight, but he also said, like we can also talk on the chairlift. We can talk on the weekend. Basically, it's just like we can talk anytime. Well, like some guys are like you want me, you want to talk to me on the chairlift? Why don't you talk to me when you can like really talk to me. And so he wants to like be a part of my life too, and he once he's trying to share what he's doing with his life, which I think is really really really sweet.
Yeah, it feels very loose.
He's not hiding behind a keyboard. He's like, let's get let's get on the phone, like let's talk and get in like exchange energy, you know what I mean. Like that's what he seems to be all about. And that is unfortunately a lost sense of communication as generations go on, more and more people don't want to just talk on the phone. And I think it's really admirable that that's what he's pushing for. And he's like, let's stop all this texting, like let's get let's get on the phone and like check vibe.
Yeah.
I think that's a great, great thing too for people looking for their I do part two.
It's like we're all old, so.
Go back to the way it was like we are of the generation that did not even have texting when.
We were, you know, in college or even shortly after. So it's like, get on the phone. So, Kelly, Cheryl Burke is here.
I want you to bring her up to speed, see if she's got any thoughts. And let's also see if we can encourage Cheryl to maybe try to set up good luck to you guys.
All right, so I'm bringing in my new bestie, Cheryl Burke. So, Cheryl, I have to tell you that Amy and Heather introduced me to a really nice guy and I'm calling him mister Tennis. We've been texting back and forth. We're gonna be talking on the phone tonight. I'm or may not have sent him a photo or a video of me walking my dog Tars.
And yes, I did that yesterday.
Okay.
He's super cute, very smart, super very smart, which is like really good for me, has kids and he lives in LA but he also works in New York. So he's like a good guy, like a guy that I could actually really.
Like.
Did he send you pictures?
Yes?
Okay, and he's very good looking.
I also know that Amy and Heather may Or may have may not have introduced him to you.
Wait, I was gonna I was gonna break.
I was gonna break the interesting news as soon as I heard your perspective. But yes, Amy the executive producer, she definitely set me up. He was my first and last date since my divorce.
Oh my god, I love that. So how was it?
It was good? It was good for me to go out on a date.
I wasn't necessarily like, Okay, I tried not to like judge.
I don't try.
I mean, it's hard not to judge a book by its cover, because we're all human, right. But we went to a restaurant in Los Angeles, and you know, he was a gentleman, and.
But there was just no there was just no chemistry for me, for.
Me, right for you. Yeah, he was cute.
He was a cute, smart guy who seems to be he's got a good head on his shoulders. From what I was able to kind of like sess out a little bit, you know.
Okay, Well that's really good that you know him now I have to ask you a question.
What do you think of because we don't I don't want to live in a vacuum and I trust you.
So what do you think of.
Introducing your friends to guys that you went out with and that you are setting them up with.
What do you think about that?
Like in our situation that do you think it's a good idea to like, you dated, he went on a date with them, and now I'm going to go on a date with them.
Totally?
I do too. I actually did that with a friend of mine.
I introduced her to a guy that I want to date, and I was like, he's nice, but he's not my kind of He's not my cup of tea. And then I introduced him to her and weird stuff happened, but had nothing to do with me.
I did not know anything.
Yeah, I think if it was if it were opposite, like if I really liked him, let's say and he ghosted me and then you were dating him, that'd be odd.
Right, Well, I would say no, because I also am a friend, and I would be like, if he's ghosting you, why would I want to go out with him? And furthermore, why would I mean we're new friends, but I really trust you, So why would I like jeopardize our friendship? No?
For sure?
I mean like and he wouldn't be for you, right because like we're talking about like evolving and wanting to you know, step it up when it comes to men, right and a.
Ghost ghosts like ghost ghosts, it's like they think it's kind of some kind of would have ghosted him?
Are you a ghost her? No?
No, No I'm not.
I mean, first of all, every you know my number, it hasn't changed, It's been it's been my number forever, like for as long as I had a number.
So did he wait? Did he respond he.
Was wanting to like go out again for sure?
Okay? And then did you say you just said no?
I just you know, I didn't necessarily give that vibe like when I I'm pretty like you, I'm at a strong vibe. So like if I don't want anything but like a full on platonic relationship like just friends, or if I'm just not feeling you, but then I feel like he's feeling me, I make it quite obvious. I think through my body language.
Yes, you're a dancer, and you're.
Like, don't like we're not going to that next level, right, She's like, lean back, I keep it very like.
Uh, by the way, at one point, you teach me how to dance, but that's another totally.
Other conversation cast. Okay, totally on the broadcast how to make how to teach Kelly how to dance? So should you do a phone call a FaceTime?
Like you should FaceTime? For sure? I wish I would have done that.
So did you do a phone call or no?
We went straight to the dinner.
Oh you went from text to dinner?
Yeah, because you know Amy. I also trust Amy, and like, by the way, so do I Okay?
Like is he?
I have really nothing bad to say about him other than he couldn't order his dinner right away? He was a little indecisive and that just was a trigger for me for some reason. Not and that wasn't just the only thing right wait?
No, seriously, So he couldn't decide what food he wanted.
Or he took a really excited about it, took a while.
Was he like, I don't want the chicken because it has cheese on it?
Or no?
He actually ended up ordering what I ordered.
He probably was nervous because you're you're pretty hell.
I was nervous.
I think I was there, Like I used to live down the street from Pace. I think I left my house like thirty minutes before when I could just roll down my hill.
But I don't like a man that's indecisive. I just don't.
And maybe he's not and maybe whatever, But like there's it was more than just that. I mean, you can just feel it right when you stay with somebody for a couple of hours.
Dinner is a commitment. And I wish I would have done FaceTime first.
Yeah, so that's what I was wondering too, Like, so should you do coffee? Should you do a drink?
I think you should FaceTime. Doesn't he live in La Yeah, and you live.
He was going to come here tonight, but he couldn't come to see his kids tomorrow. He was just like going to the date. Yeah, he was just going to pop on a plane, which I thought was really attractive.
Oh really, Okay, So that's so I was going to ask that. That was my next question.
I also live in New York City, where people are like, you're single. That's nice.
It's like how about like, yeah, let's go on a date or let's get drinks in New York people are just like so like uninterested in anything.
So so that is a turn on for you. What if you were someone to be.
Excited, I mean you know and be like hey, I can't wait to you know, talk to you more, versus like people that are just like.
Too cool for school and it's like, you know, you get zero read on people.
Well, there's also a gray area in between what we just said.
There's also that gray area.
But wait, how long have you guys been talking? I just want to know a day whoa Okay, so you.
Don't so for me if someone were to say that, though, it's great and I can imagine like a movie scene right from like the Notebook and like right, but it's just not real.
However, it does first it's also amy. It does it not give you signs of desperation?
Well, no, because I think that it's hard to meet it's hard to meet women, it's hard to meet men. Uh. And it's also like the holidays, so it's kind of a free time, do you know what I mean? It's downtime, Like okay, you know, I'm doing some stuff today, we're doing some work today, but like normally, you know, I mean yesterday I was free the day before that. I want, you know, I want did one an hour of work, but you know, I'm kind of like just spending time with my kids and hanging around and you know, just walking around, sit to the city and really doing nothing.
Well then ef it.
So I think that people are really like I think the holiday season, especially this period the twenty sixth through the first of January, is like peak.
Peak dating time PDT.
Okay, well, so is he come or not?
He couldn't because he literally was going to come tonight and then he has to go back.
Tomorrow, so you can't do that.
No, No, he wanted to, and then he was like, I'd have to come back.
He was like, I would come tomorrow, but I'd have to come back on the next day.
And the only reason that.
That would be something that would be super attractive to me is because he's known Amy.
Since the fifth grade.
So if if you were like a guy on RIAH, or if it was a guy that a friend of mine met that was like, oh my god, I have to meet her, him coming be totally different. This is like a long time friend. This is like me introducing you to a guy that I've known forever.
From Like literally, that's the only reason why I got I left my house and went on a date was because of Amy.
But see that's even better.
You know that's he was like the reason that he got you out to do something that you weren't really in the mood to do. I love that is long distance okay for you? I mean long distance isn't exactly what I'm looking for. So you know, if this works out, we're gonna have to figure out something.
Who knows, maybe I'll move or whatever.
But I WHOA just saying like, I'm not like, long distance is not my I mean I was married to a man that was in New York twice a month like that.
That does not work for me.
I want do you even want to open the can of worms?
Then?
If you know that this is not going to work for.
You, well I don't.
I don't have any reason to not date people wherever they live. I mean, I'm I can my kids are older, and I can go and do whatever I want wherever I want.
Okay, I just I'm just I'm asking you all the questions just so. You never sent a percent sure.
And one of my friends was like, I think you should move to Paris, you know, because I speak French and I've lived in Paris for a long time. And she's like, I think you should move to Paris and like meet people in Paris.
I'm like, by myself, okay, like.
I don't think you need to move anywhere, Like you can just go to places for a few months, you know.
Right, But everyone's like telling me to like move all over the place. I'm like, Okay, I'm not sure how I feel about the moving right now. I just moved twice in the past, like you know, ten months, so it's been a log moving, right, So who do you trust more for setups? Is it coworkers? Is a friends family? Like Kelly, like, you know what's interesting?
Like for me?
I mean, I I'm just trying to think back like my last few relationships, and that's been my own setup.
I guess it's been kind.
Of like like with my ex, it was because his older brother was on Dancing with the Stars and we met through the show, right, And I would say during that time frame when I was on the show for seventeen years, like there, it was a lot of that type of interaction, right, But as far as like I guess I would trust like though, my sister's never set me up with anyone, which is fine, like we've got a huge age gap nine years, but like she I trust her, you know, and I would trust friends as well, But like also I don't necessarily I think my friends in a way, my two like my close close friends, I don't think are good as far as setting me up because they have this vision in their head that what they believe this guy would should be for me, and maybe that's not and maybe it's because it's like.
They're too protective, you know what I mean. Yeah, so it's like I don't know.
I don't I don't want to also play it safe when I date with somebody either, like there's a fine line, right, Like I don't know.
So it's interesting because like when I was on Housewives, it's all women, So there's no like hot guys that you're dancing the samble with. It's like you know me, you know, like literally running away from women, like spitting at me and you know, trying to do all.
These awful things.
And then in real estate, it's funny because everyone's like, like, you know, Derinda, one of my co stars, she was like I met my husband, my rich husband, Richard, I told him an apartment and you know, for me, I have There's been two guys who I've sold really really nice apartments too, and I represented them as well, and I just vound it.
Found it to be such a huge conflict of interest.
And I would never want I'm just saying I would never I would I will Actually I would never want. I would never want them, Nor would I want my industry to think that. I mean they already do think that, but I would never want people to think that, Like there I am like showing apartments and flirting and because I'm not like that, like I'm super professional, what if.
They are aggressively flirting with you? Would you?
And I?
This one guy said to him, and I was like, after I said, I really appreciate you. And I said, after we are finished with all the transaction and you're done and everything, if that's a time that we should you want to, you know, talk about going out or going on a date, I'd be happy to do that.
And you know what, he didn't. She was weird.
I was like, wait a minute, So you want me to sell your home or you want me to help you buy a home. But then when it's like real time, you don't.
That's it's almost a blessing in disguise.
Yeah.
I was like, no, so are you talking to anybody else?
So I am talking to one other guy. I met this amazing guy in New York.
He's a big, big, big he's a big doctor here, super super nice.
I actually met him playing polo. He's really sweet.
He's a polo player. I bet you he's where I live. In that area. There's a huge polo community.
Yeah, I know. I told you I play polo. You have. I don't play polo. I am learning.
I'm a big rider, and so this summer to get out of my comfort zone, I decided to learn polo. I was like, let's do something totally totally out my cover zone. Very difficult, very very difficult.
It was so fun. It was really you're a.
Crotch afterwards, just everything super sore.
I mean, you're a dancer, so you're used to moving. But I'm like the way that I ride. As I ride, like I do not move my upper body and then I just use my legs. But in polo, you're like all over the place using your arm.
But did you know how to ride before the polls?
Yeah?
I'm a big I'm a big rider.
Yah.
Yeah, it is important information.
Yeah.
So it was really fun and he's really sweet and really nice. And then I was I was dating this other guy who was younger, is forty three, very very nice, very successful, very sweet.
I met him through a friend of mine and.
He was really great, except for he was just he was saying things and acting in a way that didn't make me feel like he was like, I want to get married. You're my You're my person, and not love bombing me in the way that like. I mean, he's known me for a long time and he's just like, I want to I want a second chapter with someone, and I wanted to be with someone like you.
And that made me. I know, that sounds like a red flag.
Did that give you the like creeps a little bit?
No?
No, because he's a really nice person and I've known him for a long time, and I was very I was very I was really I was really moved by that.
I thought that was really really sweet.
So we were having these issues where he was super communicative, but I was trying to be as well, but we weren't communicating in the same way.
He needed more communication and that's different.
So then I just I kind of got mad at him because he was didn't talk to me for like two days, and I.
Just like, I don't have this story.
I came back from LA. I came back from LA and I was like, I can't I was in New York. It was a Sunday morning. I was like I woke up around like eleven because I just come back at like two o'clock in the morning, and he was like, Oh, We're gonna have lunch and do all this stuff. And he didn't call me all day long, and then he called me the next day and was like, oh, yeah, hey, I didn't hear from you yesterday. I'm like, you knew I was flying flying back because I texted I was flying back, and he just was kind of like doing his own thing. He was kind of like making me feel bad for going to LA and working.
And then he.
Was like yeah, He's like we're just not communicating well, and I'm like, we'ren't communicating at all, Like and I'm not gonna I'm one thing I'm not gonna do is I don't chase men.
I just don't like I'm not chasing them. I am not you know.
Begging men to date me, like if you want to hang out with me and have a great time, Like, I am all for it one hundred percent, but I'm not gonna chase a man.
Wait.
How long did you guys date before this happened?
Two months?
Two and a half months, but you knew each other?
Yeah, really was. He's a very nice person. So I just just like, you know, too.
Much communication to turn off for you.
No, not too much communication, but like, hey, if you're getting off a flight, like know that person is like getting off a flight. They haven't seen you. My god, they're super excited to see you. Make plans like I wanted him to. I want to take him to look for a Christmas tree, just to like do things that are fun. And you know, he was like sleeping the whole day, so I just was like, and that's fine. But you could just say like, oh my god, you could be like the night before ba, I'm super tired. I think I might take tomorrow off and just you know, chill out and relax. That's totally fine.
What are your non negotiables?
Not commune kating?
Well, like not like the ghosting, Like yeah.
When a guy like doesn't talk to you for a day, or you text and you're like hey, and they don't text you back.
Like that doesn't work for me.
When guys don't make plans like they are not like let's do something. Hey, what are you doing on a Tuesday? Like it doesn't have to be every day, but like you should have like one or two date nights a week when you're dating people then uh, you know, no drug abuse, no, you know, jail time, like you.
Know, no current not currently in jail. Like you wouldn't date a menendous brother or anything.
I would.
They're hot, don't kidding, I know how to pick them.
You want just you know, just things that are just you know, I'm I'm you know, I just just things that are not out of the ordinary.
And you know, like my ex, you know, I want someone that has like.
A really good job, really good parent, just you know, just overall like just good person. You don't have to be a gazillionaire, but just like an honest, real person.
Yeah. And I don't want.
Anyone that talks about badly about their ex wives, like because everybody means you're going to talk badly about me.
Or exes in general, especially when you're first dating, Like, don't bring up the exes, thank you.
Just leave the exes alone, leave the exes where they are for their exes. And I don't need to be part of the excess narrative, Like I don't. I'm not.
Like, just because you're dating me doesn't mean that we have to make collective decisions on everybody else.
Like you're not going to tell mister Tennis that I dated, that we went on a date, right, Yeah, you are, or you know.
Because you're glorious and it makes me look good?
Wait you are?
Yeah, of course?
Or have you No?
No, I'm going to tonight.
That's weird.
It's my friend Cheryl.
Do you think that's going to be a turnoff for him?
No, I think he's gonna love it. I think his ego is going to.
Be I about physical features before quickly before we move on to platonic relationships.
Uh, physical features, you know it's nice to have. I mean I really don't have a type.
Uh uh, tall, dark and handsome. You're like, okay, oh I married not tall and not as dark, but handsome.
Uh yeah, my ex husband had great, curly hair, wearing little glasses.
Does he have to be taller than you? No, he doesn't.
You don't care, Okay, No, I mean I dated one guy that was six two, dated another guy that was six one. I'm five to ten. I dated my ex husband was five nine. You know, I don't really I don't really care about the height. I just care about the person that's nice.
I mean it would help though, right, like if he was hot.
I mean not necessarily, because, like I mean, I've dated some really hot guys that were really.
Not good guys.
I've dated some hot guys like I dated this one guy. His name is Alejandro, and he was probably the nicest hum I've ever met my entire life. No, he actually took photos of me that were so beautiful I had to put them on my Instagram.
They were certain tango dancer.
What if you taught me how to dance and then you introduce me to this really hot dancing coach And then I was.
Like, you definitely not. You're not dating a dancer.
A lot of people they dancers. J Lo Madonna.
Now look at them. Now, dancers are no good.
Let me see.
This is the thing with dancers.
You have to be super secure with yourself because this is what they do for a living, is dry hump other people. So like, wow, people like j Lo right, Like that's how they do. So, like you can't be on their job. You gotta like completely surrender and hope and pray they don't cheat on you.
No, no, I could never watch another man dance with woman like provocatively.
I would literally have an.
Answer to sleep with maybe once or twice maybe, but that's about it. You definitely need to have sex with the dancer once at least one in your lifetime.
Have you had one?
No? Are they gonna like throw my legs?
I mean it's different strokes for diferent folks. Don't know, right, Different dancers like different things. But like they're great in bed. Wow, if they're a good dancer, if they're an actual like if their occupation is dancer, they're most likely a great lover.
I love how like Cheryl is like super composed and I am, like my dress is read and my face is like orange.
So maybe before you go out with mister Tennis, you should try and just have sex with a dancer really quick, just in case you guys get married. Okay, let's talk about platonic relationships and setups.
Do you think that everyone has to know hold on till before you ask me this question. Everybody has to know this is like, this is real, This is like you and I our friendship has evolved from this podcast. My second chance is it has like we knew, like a new friendship now all fun friend who I can like talk honestly with, and I love.
That we've never been in the same room together. We're going to Yeah, well no, and I feel super comfortable with you.
So this is kind of Oh, I guess this falls under the coworker category. I guess, right, yeah, but still.
Co worker friend.
Yeah yeah, But what do you think about actual like you know, as maybe another divorced woman or just like single women in general, and friends like setting you up on platonic type of setups and relationships like that.
So I have like two schools of thought about that. I met this really really cool woman today. Her name is Louise. She's like super smart, sassy, fun, you know, amazing woman, and I trust her. I don't know her, but I get a really good vibe from her. I really like her energy and I I trust her. And then I've met a lot of single women who I just don't trust. I feel like they're using me for chum and that they're like, oh, just bring Kelly around because she'll talk to the guys or the guys we'll talk to her and then we'll kind of just like take the guys from her. Or that's what happened many times that they just like they.
Just use me. They're like, oh, yeah, Kelly's our friend. That happened to me.
This one girl that we were friends and she basically was just using me to meet guys.
Wait what so wait wait how are you?
And so I don't know because we haven't hung out like that, So you are not shy right like you will, but like they use you like it's one thing to like use somebody like to.
Get into the clubs. Like what I experience, I'm.
Not shy this way, but I'm shy.
Like like vulnerable way.
Right one on one like getting to know me.
Like I'm very shy like that, but I'm not shy with like opening myself up and I'm not you know, I'm not shy that way.
Oh interesting, I'm the opposite.
I'll be like dragging.
I'll be like, where's the.
Darkest corner and the most private area, That's where.
I want to be.
I'm like bright lights.
Oh hell no.
The day.
If you leave it up to me to make reservation, I'm like dark corner and away from as many people as possible.
You know, I'm just very skeptical about meeting other single women because.
You don't trust them.
I don't trust them, and I feel like they use me as chump and they do.
What's interesting when I heard you just say you met someone just the other day and you trust How do you trust somebody so quickly?
Because I can.
Tell, Like, for example, like when we're when we were filming Ultimate Girls Trip and Saint Bart's after we finished filming, the women are like, oh, here, take Kelly to the bar so she can introduce us to people, Like okay, Like, let me just take you to the bar and choose your people.
I don't know them, Like why am I? Uh So? It just you know, it's just it's always kind of like that.
How important is it to have friendships that, like solid ones that you've known for a few years, that really know you and keep you grounded during this whole like dating process.
Well, I think it's super important to have solid friendships. And you know, I have my like group chats and my friends. I'm like Hi, guys, Like hell, and we're going to see each other. What's happening? And you know that most of them are married, so it's hard for me to like make time with them, which I totally understand. Uh so I end up spending a lot of time with.
My you know, my gay gay friends, and which is great too with my kids obviously.
Is it hard to have married friends? Like does it?
Does it make you want to rush the process? Like meaning like feeling the need to be in a relationship.
Let's say, well, you know, it's so weird. That's a good question. Is that when.
I started dating my ex boyfriend, he people were like, oh, you have a boyfriend.
Oh oh you're engaged, Okay, bring him, you know, bring him. We want to meet him, we want to do all this stuff.
And all of a sudden he became like, you know, people, I was invited to more things because we were together. And he and he said the same thing, like he was invited to a lot more things because we were together.
Right, like as couples, like a couple as a.
Couple, right, yeah, And I feel like, I mean, I don't know if this is.
True or not. This is just how I feel. I feel like.
A lot of people just don't want me to be the extra one person at the table.
Oh yeah, I know that feeling.
Because they're like, oh, it's Kelly's are they feel sorry?
They don't understand how like for some like, look, I totally understand what you're saying.
I hear you.
It's like they feel more they feel sorry. They're worried about me, but like they don't understand because they've never gone through it themselves. As far as like being so comfortable being alone that it's almost like I don't need to worry about who I'm with or their mood or to get them to like come to a friend's dinner that's not their friends, and then like having them be so like not wanting to be there and me trying to like.
Play both sides.
It's just there's a lot more peace for me when I go out, actually because I just worry about myself. But there is I do definitely, like when we talked about this this last episode about how I can count on one hand my friends and just it just happens to be that most of them are divorced. But we were friends before, Like we were friends when you know, like one of them, was my maid of honor when she was also married for many years and you know, so I knew her when I was married, also met her when I was single and now single again. But like I, it is interesting because your friends change when you're single, especially as you get older, and it is Do you believe it's harder to meet people and meet other potential friends as you get older?
I mean, I just found it strange that, like, my friends didn't really introduce I mean, two of my friends introduced me to some really nice people, but most of my friends, I mean, I've lived in New York, raised my kids here, you know, been here since forever, and they just didn't never introduce me to people.
And I don't know if they just wanted me to be single.
Why would they want you to be? Like why would I?
Honestly, maybe you're thinking this, this is crazy, but I feel like they're like, oh, she's pretty, so she should just be happy with you know.
She just should just gets someone based on that, I don't need to help her.
And meanwhile, on the opposite, if I meet someone, I'm like, oh my god, I met someone that's so great, Oh my god, I want to introduce you to them, oh my gosh, I you know, like I'm always and I mean I said this today, like I'm typically the one that's like always taking care of people and helping them and giving them like help or if like, oh my god, I found this job for you, it'd be great.
I got this for you.
I don't feel like that's reciprocated by your not at all.
No, no, no, not at all, like like not at all.
Listen, I have to say, and I've said this to you before, like my sobriety and kind of just being a lot more present, I guess, and just awake in general and not numbing through substances has really this is why I can count on one hand my friends and even that, like I have to reassess every year, like you know, and naturally it's not.
Like, oh okay, you didn't pass this test, like acting you.
Like weeding you out, but you know you are you are who you hang out with two you know, and it's like you're such a good person and I can't wait for our friendship to develop more because I feel the same like and I definitely don't feel like it's shocking to me to hear people use you to meet like I have never heard of such a thing in my life.
Oh my god, all the time, or they so women use me to meet other men and then men sit when they meet me up they like me. They'll be like, oh, like it's a game, and they'll be like, oh, you know, I just don't know if like I can handle like everything you do. I'm like, what that I work in real estate and that I have a job, and that I'm providing for my children?
What am I supposed to do? Not provide for my children? And yeah, am I supposed to be?
It seems to me that like when I'm this is like what I'm kind of rounding up after like watch a lot of Christmas movies. If you're the victim, everyone wants to help you, but when you're trying the one that tries to be like I can handle things, I can organize things, I can try to make things like you know, something nothing into something. Then people are just like, oh yeah, whatever, They'll just you know, you're just the giving tree.
But not all people though, No, I know I'm not.
I'm just generalizing, but I feel like it's like I feel like I'm the giving tree and I'm like, oh, okay, here's a little stump.
Now now, maybe stop giving so much.
But you know, meeting you and talking with you and being on this podcast has changed has changed me so much. Like I'm just I'm more I'm less forgiving and I'm more like kind to myself.
Do you ever go out? Like do you? Okay?
Do you have different tiers of friendships? Like I definitely do so. Like I have my my friends who I can like always count on that I know will drop everything that they're doing if I need them, even if I live a few hours away from them. Right then I've got the second tier, which is like friends that maybe when I'm in LA will go out or whatever, but like they don't know everything about me. And then you've got the third tier, which is like residue.
From my last job.
Right like literally, and it's like we were friends because of work and we just happen to still stay in touch type thing. And when we see each other, hey, you know, like we'll say hi. We're like almost kind of weird acquaintances.
In a way, you know what I mean, because you don't see each other.
Yeah, because we don't make the effort. It's not because we don't see each other it's because like there's no effort being made right, meaning like it doesn't matter, like we could you just need to pick up the phone, Like it just matters.
It's about who wants to put in.
It's just as much work as a real like intimate relationship friendship, I think, right.
And I'm a texter and so I'll like send text my friends and just like thinking of you, how's your day, how's my girl beauty?
Like I just am like that's what I do. Like I'm a text story. So I'm checking with people. People never check in.
Well, and some people aren't like and I have to say, I suck at that.
They're just not like how are you? They're like you.
Respond to that. I'll respond to that. But I don't like long monologue.
Don't like even though I write monologue texts, but like I can't like when my mom goes at.
Me sometimes, which I'm home right now.
So these long text messages are long, like to the point where you have to hit the arrow and it goes to.
The next stage like long, but like a novella.
Yeah, But like there's also friends that I have that I don't need to talk to literally for months, and we're good.
Right, and you just pick it up.
Yeah, and we don't. We don't give each other.
I love you.
I love you so much to help you have the best, best best time with your family. You are amazing and I cannot wait to tell you more about mister Tennis.
Keep your keep it, keep your you know, keep your eyes open.
I can't wait till you tell mister Tennis about me.
He's gonna be like, she's hot, Like.
You might want to think twice about that, though, I don't know.
I like, I see, I like the kind of guy that you're talking about, Like, I actually like that. I think it's like charming and yeah, like it's just I like someone that like, really like is excited.
You might just have to order for him though. Just take it upon yourself.
Don't say solid fish done. Yeah, stay done, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm going to keep you updated on my phone.
Call and my dates. And we need to do stuff like fun stuff.
Yes, I have room for one more friend in my life.
Cheryln Kelly out of the town.
That's right, via zoom via the zoom.
All right, have a great holiday. Happy New Year, Sheryl, Happy New Year. Here's to us.
Cheers. Cheers to us.
Oh my god, that was so much fun talking to Cheryl. I could talk to her all day long about friends, relationships. I'm just so happy to have her as a new friend. And if you guys are interested in falling in love and having your net, next I do Part two.
We are here for you.
We're here for you for looking for dating advice, love advice, friend advice, all of it. We're having so much fun, so call us or email us, follow us on socials. All the information will be in the show notes. Make sure to rate and review the podcast. I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast. We're falling in love is the main objective.
