How to FriendJohn Anthony is a delight of a human, and whether it’s a text message, a voicenote, or an IRL hang, any time we get to interact is an absolute treat.
Unsurprisingly he was one of the first people I asked to be on this audio series. John has a unique set up with four groups of his friends. Knowing that they are likely to fall into the trap of letting life get in the way of seeing each other, they make fun inevitable by each of the groups having a joint bank account and each week everyone in the group pays in the same amount to this shared bank account. When the kitty hits a certain balance, the group go wild with a weekend away, an extravagant meal, or a day out.
Whilst everyone pays the same amount each week, the amount is agreed to be something that everyone can afford. It also means that these activities aren’t having to be justified out of one payday when they do happen, so it removes any money-related awkwardness that could crop up. Sometimes it takes a year to save up enough for their chosen activity, but the fact that they’re always building up to something gives the groups something to keep connected about as they start plotting their next adventure.
In this conversation I quiz John on how this started, why it works, what problems it solves, and the fact they’re still doing it years later.
Here’s some things we talked about…
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The importance of hype and building up to something with friends
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The ‘mechanical Falkor camp’ that started the direct debits
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Why pre-planning is not the antithesis of fun
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Intentional event design with friends to help remove friction (and flaking)
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A dabble into some neuroscience
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Starting small with new approaches
I hope you have at least half as much fun listening to this conversation as I did recording it. And of course, I’d love to know if there’s anything you’ll be experimenting with from this conversation.
I ask each guest to share a photo of the ‘remnants of friendship’, something that shows that ‘friendship happened here’. JA’s is a bunch of flowers left on a friend’s doorstep.
Who’s John?
John Anthony prances through the world as a shape shifter. Dad, Musician, Speaker, Brother, Educator, Entertainer and Friend.
Safer in front of an audience than alone, John has spent the good part of his adult years learning to enjoy his own company as he travels for his learning consultancy Transcend.
Recent obsessions include esotericism, philosophy, lego, gardening and whisky.
Current alive projects are johnsong (music) and Kindred Spirits (podcast with friend Jason Fox). You can find John in these places…
johnsong on Band Camp or the Johnsong website
