How Rude, Tanneritos!What happens when your science grade is slipping, but you're in desperate need of $160 sneakers?! Obviously, you get a job where you dress as a clown, then your best friend has to forge your "F" grade to an extremely unbelievable "A"... This is a universal experience, right?
And, what's better than a goofy Full House storyline? Andrea and Jodie recapping said storyline completely and utterly unhinged!! It's another fun week over here at How Rude, Tanneritos!
Oh god, it's so brighten here.
It's like I've been I have been sick and in a cave.
So this is your You're like a slee stack coming out in a cave.
Okay, so I say, I say slee stack, and I do people still get that reference to you.
Think, well maybe our generation like our generation does, but younger than younger than explaining what their sle sack is.
Please.
It's from Land of the Lost, an amazing show, critically acclaimed.
Oh my god, one of my favorites, up there with Small Wonder, you know what I mean in believability and entertaining in technology. I'm just the the the video effects. It basically was like someone playing with little miniature dinosaurs and then like like little green army people and they were like this is actually a scene, but it was great Land of the Lost and the slee stacks like they like only lived in the dark.
They live underground or in a cave or in the dark, and so when they have to come to the surface of the earth, the sun is so blinding that they just like they're like, yeah, like that's the sound they make like uh, their.
Eyes, it's they cover their eyes and they make weird sounds and that's cute one of what I'm doing right now. Yeah, so I apologize everyone I saw. I have been super duper sick, such a bummer. I had booked work and it didn't work out, and I, you know, it's totally fine, but I uh, and we had to force to rearrange everything because I had booked something and then turns out I was like, just kidding, Actually none.
Of that matters, darn it. Yeah, yeah, I s will be.
Trying to hack off here as like much as possible. Manny's gonna have his work cut out for him. Me just man just flemming it up all over the place, you know what I mean?
Poor Manny has he has to listen to her.
He could probably diagnose my chest congestion and be like, you know what, that actually sounds like something you need antibiotics for. I was listening and the rattling is alarming.
It's a little it's a little more bronchi ole than I like, yeah.
Oh god, and let me tell you this, poor dog, Oh, because the scal's been out of town for work.
Huh.
You know last time he went out of town too, the fires happened.
What And he was.
Conveniently go Wait a minute, he knows something. He's like, wait, things are gonna it's gonna kind of hit the fan. I think I'm gonna go.
Yeah, I'm just kidding.
It's like this dog.
Animals, pets can predict earthquakes, so it's right.
He's like, I feel like something is gonna go really wrong. No, anyway, he's so he's been out of town, which is both good and bad. I didn't have anyone in the house to avoid. The kids were with me a little bit over the weekend, but then for the past few days the dad's had kept them. But I this poor dog because she is used to, you know, me Scout works from home. She's used to like multiple walks a day, We're going on adventures.
Things are great.
And now my sag comes along and she's just like, hey, I'm like.
OK, look, we're gonna do it like two walks a day.
Yeah.
So I had to call I had to call.
Celia over to come and walk the dog, and she sent me chicken motsa ball soup and then came over and made me soup.
And yeah, well good, I'm glad. I'm glad she was around to rescue you. Rescue Lisa from from boredom.
The dog was just laying there listlessly on the ground, like I hate my life?
Why does it suck? Why are you lame?
Yeah, she's any dog. She needs exercise like every day. I'm sure.
Yeah, yeah, I'm with the amount of reachigots she needs.
But but then Celia also brought something over to me that reminded me of you. What And I don't know why she brought it to me when I was sick, but the timing of it.
It's it's a book.
It's a sorry, it's your problem now because I'm dead and it's to me. It's just basically like a book where you can write all of your stuff.
I think most of.
This probably I have in some sort of a will or something that I think I'm working on one.
Of those, yes, But.
But anyway, it just reminded me of you because of the funeral file files, Like, oh, that's a that's a handy addition to the funeral file.
Out there people.
Yeah, that's a great if you're looking to Bill like a pack, you know, like we'll do funeral file lessons. Get Darren my brother, So basically.
But where basically Darren should.
Start giving those out like uh, like banks did with toasters, you know what I mean, Like you sign up for an account with with Darren to plan your the end of your life.
You get a little planner.
For You's like I think that would gift literally a partying gift.
It really got all the information, so it's almost like a work book, you know what I mean. Get and then they can turn it in and then he just goes from there. Doesn't even have to really interact with people, just let them write it.
All that that's a great gift, that is useful. Darren, You're welcome. We'll take We'll take our ten Darren. Yeah, yeah, up with this idea.
No, but yeah.
So that's been my last few days. I have binge watched Severance.
Oh I haven't watched it. I haven't watched it. Everyone's talking about it though.
Oh my my my, ah.
My brain.
Explode.
Wow.
It's so good and so weird, and.
It's funny at times. It's almost satirical at times of like corporate culture. It's also really dark and there's really twisted stuff like.
It's let's right up your alley.
It is all over the no but it's brilliant. It is brilliant, and I like the actors in it. Oh my god, Patricia Arquette plays this character who is insane and.
She's so good.
Oh, she's so good.
Anyway, I highly recommend it.
It's on Apple Plus or Apple TV or I don't know, whatever the whatever whatever streamer, but I.
It's it's really great.
It's been on my list for a while because people were talking about it and I like, blew through the first season and I'm a couple like two.
I'm on season or episode two of season two. So how many seasons are there? Only two? It was just two so far? Okay, okay, two and.
Their streamer seasons, you know, so it's like nine episodes, right, it's not I'm not investing, which is great for me as a binge watcher, not great for me as an actor, uh, you know, for season wise work. But but anyway, I'm rambling on. I have no idea what's going to happen. Today's uh podcasts will be brought to you by theraf Fluid.
And and I Quill Vitamin C.
Day Quill Zinc.
This is the first day that I have drank coffee.
You didn't drink coffee all week?
Well, no, wonder you were sick over the weekend. What how are you?
That's how sick I was.
Because I was like, coffee doesn't even sound good?
That near death.
Wow, that's probably why you were sick, because you weren't getting enough caffeine through your veins. Oh no.
The first day I was like, oh, I'm gonna be okay, and then I started feeling a little funny, and then it was just that next day I was like.
I don't want it.
Yeah, So I am now enjoying coffee again, drinks just to take the whole and the day.
Will I don't.
It's going to be a wild ri I guess let's go.
Well before we start, have you been well, no, you've been watching Severance, But have you been watching it all? Keeping up with these bald eagles in Big Bear, the Live Camp, the Life Nest.
Yes, I have it on. The one one's gone.
It's now twins because of the triple Yeah, the third one deceit is nice? Yeah, totally. Oh, it's the shadow and what's the shot in Jackie?
Jackie?
That's right. The kids don't have names yet. I think they get named in a contest later. Okay, that the sweetest thing This is like April the Giraffe all over again. Remember I was watching that when we were doing Fuller.
You guys, can I tell you when April the Giraffe, which was what twenty eighteen nineteen.
Yeah, she was pregnant.
April the Giraffe was set to give birth and wasn't it Like they don't know how long the Giraffe was pregnant, so they're like, we don't know.
It looks like it could be anytime.
So there's basically a watch like they have no idea when it's coming, but it's like like two.
Or three week period. It could just show up at any point.
Andrea had her phone on her on set what set on the live stream hidden places. It would be like under a pillow in a drawer in the alcove or something. We'd be doing rehearsal.
We'd be shooting and she'd be like.
Hold on, I need to go check my phone, and she'd come back and she's.
Like, Nope, no baby draft yet.
I was like, so yeah, So I can only imagine now, have you I mean, is that just all you've been doing?
Yeah, it's on in every room in the house wherever I go. I can keep up exciting.
Seriously, Yeah, what could I lie about that?
No, you wouldn't. That's the best part, Michael. Michael's like, just like watch anything else, you know what.
I'm so over these stupid birds.
The babies are growing like, they're very It's way more exciting than the draft pregnant going on, Like.
Yeah, that's so.
You're like, there's no you know, it's not like a little pan or anything. You're like, hey, you guys, are y'all are out there? They survived a storm.
The storm was very scary. The storm. We all were like collectively holding our breast right to make.
Sure they survived this.
Yeah, no, I'm I'm with you on this. I mean I don't have it on in every room in my house. I you know, I don't know every two or three days have clicked on a story about it.
But it's probably enough. But now I'm just going to text.
You and be like I need minute by minute updates.
It's great. The babies are getting they're getting very big. They're fighting, fighting over the food, even though there's plenty of poodle. Yeah, no, it's I'm learning all species. Did you know that they keep I think this is all eagles, but definitely the babies. They have a crop. It's called a crop, and it's like a little to go box in their neck, right, and it's like keeps. They keep the food there and then just access it whenever they want.
Heard that at some point because the crop sounds familiar. But you know me, I probably read it in some weird thing when I was looking up some.
I don't know. Yeah, right, yeah, but that's.
Fascinating, you know what it is. I think maybe I'm thinking of like a.
Pellic oh because they have a similar big yeah storage system, which is crazy. Oh yeah, you could store a whole refrigerator in there. Man. This is such a good idea though. Man, this would be if we could do this as humans with toddlers, Like great, just fill up your crop kids, and then you don't have to feed them snacks fifty times a day.
Or you could give them like a little snack holder, you.
Know what I mean.
I don't know that they need like a throat pocket.
I mean I feel like I feel like if you overalls would do it, you know, just a little front pouch here.
They'll find a way to lose it, insane. It has to be inside their body in the throat. Okay, so they don't lose it.
Well, right, so they don't lose it, and so that they're just like they don't have to even.
Bug you about it.
No, and they don't. They're not spelling goldfish all over your.
Car like you know, you know what that alone said, that alone we did.
We need to put cross baby, figure out a way. I'm in for everyone.
Well, everyone there, aren't you excited that you tuned in today to listen.
To whatever the hell we were.
Just talking about. We went from from six to day earl to I don't even know what?
Yeah, no, hey, this is from what I hear. People like this pre show chatter. I don't know why. Every time. I'm like, gosh, I hope people don't turn this off. But I think it's the true fans love it.
So you know what the truth it's that we give people a window into our insanity and our friendship.
Yeah, exactly, I love it. Well, let's get started though, for real. Welcome back to how Rude Tanneritos. I'm Andrea Barber and I'm Jodie Sweeten, and today we're discussing season four, episode fourteen, Working Girl. It aired on January fourth, nineteen ninety one. This is our first episode of nineteen ninety one. Oh wow, Yeah, we're moving right along and it goes a little something like this, DJ's grades suffer when she takes a part time job. M all right, short and sweet to the point. Yeah. It was directed by joel's Wick. It was written by Mark Warren and Dennis Rintler. Yay, we interviewed Mark a few months ago. Oh, such a great it's so great to Yeah, just to catch up with him. That was awesome.
Uh.
And we have three guest stars this week. We have Andy Goldberg as Jack the photographer. He looked so familiar. He's done tons of appearances. He's known for Inspector Gadget. He did ten episodes I've inspected. Jody's very excited about this.
I love Inspector Gadget's Go Go Gadget Arms.
Oh my god, Kenny, I love that. I can picture it in my head right now.
Okay.
It was one of my favorite cartoons. So there you go. You were you were acting in a scene with somebody who.
Didn't even know I know, next to a legend.
Yes, absolutely so. He did a lot of appearances, but like on Golden Girls, step By step Webster all those things, but he is the founding member and at one time the director of the world longest running all improv comedy ensemble along with It's amazing.
That is actually really cool.
Oh it is. It is super cool, and he's still doing it to this day, running off the Wall, and so he's performed. These are some of the people that were in this comedy ensemble, John Ritter, Gary Shandling, Robin Williams. Like, there's so many, like huge names. It's amazing. So yeah, it's still if you want to catch this, you can still see you can see the show off the Wall at the Fanatic Salon in Culver City.
Okay, yeah, so I'm like, this is we should go, We should go. I know, my god, I would totally. I would totally get.
Right up your alley.
I know that's fine, right, Jacky, someone note this down because we're gonna I'm no, I'm gonna forget today.
Oh yeah, but I would totally go to that and uh and yeah, and we.
Can go relive our Culver City days although it looks completely different.
Oh for sure recognized. I don't think I've been to Culver City since oh my god, since we were at Sony.
And Maria lives over there, so I go, I'll go over there and visit her, and it's okay.
You drive around and you're like, this is not where am I?
Completely different? Totally different? All right? Next, we have Donna Lynn Levy as the Mother. She did appearances on Benson Punky's, Twilight Zone, Valerie, Night Court, Family Matters, Sister Sister, Days of Our Lives, and Bold and the Beautiful. Like, yeah, she was very platable. She hit them all.
Yep.
And last, but certainly not least, we have Marcus Nunneley as Anthony. He has two credits Full House and the Ties that Bind Marcus or Marquise. I don't know. I was wondering, is it Marquise or Marcus Marquise Marquise Nuneley fantastic. This kid is so great. How he's like giveing DJ so.
Much grief about I have no patience.
It was excellent. He was fantastic. So we start with the teaser in Jesse's room. Jesse is playing his drums very loudly when Michelle appears at the doorway with a big grit on her face.
Do you remember the drum set in John's dressing room. Yes, yes, yeah, so.
John, we all had dressing rooms like upstairs.
Well, this was when we moved to Warner. I'm trying to remember how it was when we were in at Sony.
We were still he's.
Still stairs but like off on his anyway, he always had like a music room because John loves music and it's his weight online. But he always had a drum set in his dressing room and he would play the drums.
Just like this, just like this teaser. Yeah he did, you know. It was like.
And yeah, and you'd go pop your head in and you know, kind of bop along kind of like Michelle did.
And yeah.
It was again one of those moments where I was like, oh yeah, this was like we actually did this around set. You know.
It's so John, and it's it's so John to have a full, a full drum set. It's not like just a guitar. He can strum no noween scenes. No, it is a full a drum set. John wanted to be a musician.
He was he wanted to be a drummer, and he just it so happened that he was, you know, also a pretty face and wound up on General Hospital.
Right, so right, you know, and it worked out well.
But he's that was his first love, so it was oh, yep, yep, this this did bring back a lot of memories. Yeah, so Michelle's dancing along to these drum beats. Once he finishes, she happily declares, it's my turn. Jesse is enthused that Michelle wants to be just like him, so he plops her on the stool and hands her two drumsticks. He gives her a quick lesson on how to play, but it is extremely complicated the way he's explaining it, so Michelle gives him a confused look and asks, are you talking to me? Realization hits and he says, oh, forget all that, just bang the heck out of him, and Michelle does that. She plays the drums to her little heart's content. Jesse lifts her up and she holds the drumsticks in the air as he shouts rock and roll, and she says, we love you San Francisco and bangs on the simple yay, super curious. Yeah, Michelle looks adorable. She's got like kind of a gibbler esque like this polka dot.
We are we're entering the nineties, can you feel it? You know it's it's happening.
Is getting worse by the minute.
Yeah, matchie, matchie, the scrunchies, the side pony.
Yeah she had a matching scrunchy, the Poka dot scrunchies. It's fantastic.
Every outfit I think that you bought for kids basically had a scrunchy, not even for kids, like it was just like again, there was an attached scrunchy just matching.
It was. Yeah, the go to accessory for all out.
Yes, Yes, welcome to casual chaos, where I'm telling my story unfiltered, unedited and unapologetic for a moment you didn't see on camera, to secrets nobody dared to spill. I'm bringing you behind the scenes like never before. I'm talking love life because let's be real here, it's been a journey wellness and the truth behind the headlines, and of course I've got the receipts. Plus I'll be sitting down with some of the biggest named in pop culture for casually chaotic conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So pour yourself and espresso martini and get ready because once you start listening, you'll be waking up in the morning, thinking about so many things. Listen to Casual Chaos starting on March twenty fourth on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
So next, in the kitchen, Danny walks in Carrie Michelle as he says hi to Steph. He tells her that they just got back from preschool and Michelle has something to show her. Michelle says, want to see what I got, and Steph nods sure, why not. Michelle reminds her, you have to say please. Stuff rolls her eyes. I'm not that interested, right.
Like it's true? Well, hold on, I don't yeah, I don't want to have to work for it.
Barely interested originally. Now you're definitely not interested.
Now I got a beg for it.
Nothing, So Danny begs her to play along. Apparently it's politeness week at preschool. Michelle is now an officer of the Polite Police. They start him young yep. Michelle narrows her eyes at Stephanie and pulls back her card again to reveal a star attached to her overalls. She threatens, I'll be watching you, mister amazing delivery. This was just timing with the pulling of the card. Again and the like she just she nailed that whole bit. She gets out of her chair and pokes Stefph on the shoulder and smiles and says, have a very nice day, then, do you. J and Kimmy burst through the door. DJ makes a beeline for her dad and gives him a big hug, saying, boy, I missed you. How's the greatest dad in the history of Dad's feeling today?
Yeah, just nothing like when your kid walks in. My mom uses it when I go, Mama, what you want?
And I was like, how does she know?
It?
Said Mama?
And now there is a tone and a mom when they come in the room.
And you're like, oh you want money or a rad Yeah, you can tell just by the intonation of the voice, or like if it's even remotely nice, you're like, oh they want someone? Do they want they want something?
Well, it's not even nice, it's it's it's little and high.
Yeah, And I'm like, okay, like here we go, here we go. So Danny is definitely suspicious, and Kimmy suggests to DJ compliment him on his shoe, sock and pant combination. Dad's love that and my hair is noticeably shorter. I don't know if it was cut or just really curl.
It was it was it was really.
Curly, super curly. Yeah, and at least I thought it was an improvement.
You and I have switched hair textures. I am now straight hair and you have curly hair.
Yeah, I've got the Stephanie dippity do hair style.
It's super curly.
Was your hair?
And your hair is like wavy sort of but not curly crazy.
But it's no, it's not curly curly, so I don't remember.
It was the nineties, man.
It was a lot of curling, a lot of a lot of fan bangs. I mean, Candae is you know.
Oh she's got Yeah. The feather wine looked like.
A small explosion on the front of my head.
Yeah, my bangs are looking more suspiciously like yours. This was definitely a technique that Frankie developed.
Well yeah, everybody.
Yeah, and a small round not like a big one that kind of let them flip No, no, no, like a nice little tight one, tight one. Yeah.
Yeah, Oh is that the secret? Okay?
Well, and then you had to then you had to flip it back. You had to get the round brush and that sort of reverse action going. So it really looked like a bird nest. Yeah right, yeah, it is like a bros front, you know. Yeah, Oh, I'm gonna that's it. I'm cutting banks today. I need the bird nest bank, so I can, you know, to go along with my bald eagle watching. Oh my god, people are gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna have a wellness check on you, okay, because you do like cut banks in times of crisis, and I'm it's I'm gonna be like, you know what though, if now is the time to cut bangs, if ever there was one, you know what I mean.
You know what I say, crisis level, crisis level banks.
Let's let's go everybody banks for everybody. But my mouth is still still so dang awkward. I'm still trying to get used to those clear braces, and I can just see my mouth struggling to like, watch my diction. I can't watch my diction.
It's hard to watch your diction with braces.
And usually most kids don't have to really worry about.
That, right very you know, Yeah, it was very distracting for me to watch myself. But that's okay. That's when you're a teenager. This is what you do. Right. So DJ ushers Danny over to a chair so he can be comfortable, and Stephanie warns, be careful, dad. She needs money, and lots of it. DJ asks how she knows, and Stephanie points out the obvious. We go back eight years. We all know when it's kiss up time. She takes her sandwich and leaves the room. Yeah. I mean you have a good point. I love that you just drop this knowledge and you take your sandwich to go.
Like, I'm not an idiot.
I'd be eight years old, almost nine, but I'm not dumb. Yeah right, yeah, No, you're just like I'm here to drop my truth.
Like, have your moment. You know, I don't want to ruin it, so yeah, go for it.
Yeah. So Danny asks DJ how much she needs, and she prefaces this money's not for anything fun, it's for clothes, a basic necessity of life. Danny asks again how much, and DJ continues to beat around the bush. She tells him they're the coolest tennis shoes and they're only eighty bucks her shoe. Danny bursts out in laughter, so Kimmy and DJ follow suit. Then DJ wonders why are they laughing? Danny says it's because he actually thought she was asking for one hundred and sixty dollars sneakers, and DJ says, I did. Danny laughs again, So Kimmy chimes in, these aren't just sneakers, these are blowouts, and DJ explains what why they're so rad? They inhale and exhale as you ask. When she was like, but they're so rad, I was like, oh my god. This was oh, welcome to nineteen ninety one from the ninety one so great, and Hi Lisa, I seea.
I'm like, oh yeah, well that was why I had to step away from him, because she was scratching at the door.
Okay, I know she needs her mom.
It's her time.
It's ten thirty.
She goes on a little do do do do oh.
So she's like, I'm here, You're supposed to do things and I'm like, sorry, sorrybra, I'm working.
She gets to be the studio audience she gets today.
Yes, she's adorable.
So yeah, blowouts, the inhale and exhale as you walk. I can't think of any sort of did we have these?
This was a k nights the pump sneakers.
And that you would pump up the tongue.
Is that?
Okay?
That's and there was that and then like yeah, you Georgias were just coming out around this time.
It was like you'll jump.
High, you know, Okay, okay, yeah, so this was like the this was I mean, I feel like Jensen would probably be the expert on this, but I feel like this was really kind of the start of you know, of like the sneaker head era.
Yeah, trendy, trendy sneakers. Yeaheah, this was the start of it. Okay, so love it. DJ's like, she's a sneakerhead. We didn't even know. I did not know that.
He's got a secret wall in that house which you push it away and it's just.
Stacks and stacks sneakers. Yeah, boxes of expensive tennis shoes. Hey, everybody's got something, you know. So DJ says if she doesn't get these, she's going to be a total geek, and Kimmy nudges Danny and says, you know how that feels, mister t.
I left such a brilliant exchange between you two. I laughed out loud.
It was great. So Kimmy and Danny have a little stearing contest before Danny retorts. It takes one to know one like.
This is a face. It was perfect.
It was perfect, like this is the beginning of the Kimmy and Danny sparring matches, and I love it so much. I was trying to take it.
Was also this one.
Was it mean like this was funny scene? Yeah? Yeah, it wasn't mean very appropriate. Uh no, it was just the right amount of teasing without crossing the line. So I loved it. Bob's fantastic between sparring with Bob and sparring with you. It's just like, this was my favorite thing right on the show. So Danny reminds DJ she doesn't always need to go with the crowd. In fact, when he was a kid, he went out and bought some sensible sands a belt pants with an adjustable waist band while the other kids were buying evil Knievel jumpsuits.
I don't even know what in the seventies sands a belt pants are other than the fact that if I break the word down.
Or sands s a n s is one.
Word without without a.
Belt, and then you just combine it so it's in a like like an adjustable waistband.
That's exactly what they were. Yeah, it was just like these, like just straight pants with the adjustable waistband. It was I thought they were nice, Like I looked them up. They looked nice. That looked like something that pilots would wear or I guess bowlers in this case, although I don't I don't know about that, but yeah, no, they I mean they were It's no evil Knievl jumpsuit.
Should I do you want a pair? I mean you sound really into it.
No, No, it's I feel like it's more year towards the band.
You know what I'm gonna I'm gonna package it together with.
Pants and the and that sorr's your problem now because I'm dead, because I think you're injuring your way very very close.
Yeah, once you wear those, it's just you know, once you.
Wear those, it's over.
Yeah, those those orthopedic shoes that your grandma would wear, or like the big black wrap around you know, like yeah.
Yeah, yeah, well hey anything was an adjustable waistban. I'm a fan. I just gotta say, you.
Know, well, you gotta be comfortable when you're sitting around watching eaglets.
Yes, right. My whole style is evolving during this podcast, and perhaps not in a good way. So Danny ends the conversation with the reference to Sanzebell pants, and DJ is prepared with a Plan B. She asks her dad, wouldn't it be great if I never had to weasel money out of you? Again, Danny admits he likes Plan B so far. DJ continues, I can earn my own money by getting a job. There's a photographer down at the mall, and he said I could be his part time assistant. There you go, all right, there you go. Danny worries about her schoolwork since her science grade has been slipping, and this is when Kimmy steps in and assures him I give you my personal guarantee that DJ will raise her grade in science, and Danny sarcastically responds, oh, the Gibler guarantee. Well that changes.
Everything, right, A Gibler guarantee on anything academics is worth nothing.
Yeah, it actually does the opposite of what's intended to do.
Don't worry, I'm going to tutor her. Well, there goes that idiot.
So DJ begs Danny to give her a chance. She's fourteen years old and she's ready for adult responsibilities. Danny finally gives in, if you can keep your grades up, you can take the job. DJ gives him a big hug and thanks him, and then Kimmy gives him a big hug and says thanks mister T. And Danny can't help but wonder why Kimmy's so happy. She explains DJ's getting blowouts and we have the same size feet, and then they give Danny a kiss on the cheek, ending to the scene. That was cute. That was it was very cute. And Candice and I almost have the same size feet. She's a size six, I'm a size five, so we're just one size apart.
You have those tiny, tiny little feet.
I have very very I guarantee my feet have not grown since this episode, Like they just stopped growing.
They just stopped growing.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, thank god you're not like super tall. That would be right, that would be unwieldy, you know, be able to balance over all the time.
Yeah, yeah, I'm glad I stopped growing five to two size five feet.
That's okay, Or it would also be oppositely weird if you were your height and had gigantic feet, Yes, that would.
Be so, that's right. That's an episode coming up when Michelle grows really big feet, do you remember? Oh my god, great? Yeah, talk about horrifying dream sequences. There's quite a few in this series. So next to Jesse's room, Jesse's playing the guitar and Becky rushes in he's he moved.
The drum set obviously, Uh carried it up to the ad.
Because you know, letting a drum set around is one of the easier things to do.
I'm sure staircases in Victorian homes, DJ.
And Steph know how to move rooms in like an hour. So he just got the.
Little house dobby the house elf do they have running around that it does all this stuff for them, you know what I mean. We don't see the people that are actually making the house run.
Yeah, the little elves that are running around. Yeah, yeah, there has to be there's something because three flights of stairs. Heck, no way. So Becky says, my folks called today and they have this wacky idea that since we're engaged, we should actually set a date in a place for the wedding. Jesse rolls his eyes and says, time to say the magic word Graceland. Becky's unamused, like the rest of us. Right here we go, here we go, though it's his dream to get married at that tacky place. She believes there there are more benefits to getting married in her hometown of Valentine, Nebraska. It's named Valentine, it's the city of law.
You know. Come on, this is.
A no brainer. Come on. But Jesse glares at her and challenges her to name one benefit. Becky size, it's not Graceland. Excellent point. It's true that nothing more needs to be said. It's not Graceland. They argue, talking over one another to try to get their points across, and that's when Joey darts into the room. He interrupts their fighting to ask Jesse for his credit card. Joey admits he's way over his limit and the shopping Network is offering a special on the Barney Rebel bath collection.
This entire thing.
He ran in the room and I was like, what thinks this person should be responsible for children?
How is you know what I mean? How is he over his limit on his credit card? What is hen rent he does? And pay?
Like?
Does he have a car payment? I don't even have?
I mean, have you seen the basement?
It's I mean, there's a lot the puppets don't buy themselves salts. Okay, yeah, nu, these days, you know you got to find them outfits full hockey uniforms.
You know how much that costs A lot. That explains why he's over his credit card limit. But goodness, gracious, this is great. So Jesse Scoff's no way you still haven't paid me back for that California Raisin chess set. Okay, get this. I had to look it up. I had to look it up. There is a raisin brand chess set. Yes, it's on eBay for the low price of sixty dollars. It's just wait, there's a raisin brand.
Ess, Say what is what it's is a raisin brand chess What are the characters of raisin brand? What do you even?
What?
What the house?
Was it just a bunch of raisins? Was it just a raisin? And then your pawns are little brand.
Flakes, like what is it? I don't know, but the don't keep them apart, you know what I mean?
You have got two colored raisins, golden raisins and regular raisins.
Well you okay, I think you've out a lot more than.
If someone eats their chest set.
I just don't this doesn't feel this sixty dollars feels expensive for just like a handful of Raisin brand thrown on a checkerboard, you know what I mean.
Well, it's the full cereal box. So this is like the unopened apparently the unopened cereal box that you just cut the cardboard and then you have your chest set. The description didn't say what the little pawns were though, so I don't know. Maybe it is you you use the Raisins. Those Raisins after how many years, twenty years, thirty years, those have.
Got to be pretty dried out. That banana taped to the wall piece of art.
It doesn't.
It's just not as.
Much as somebody tells you on eBay that this is this is the original, it's not.
No, it's Raisins amazing. Similarly, there is now there is a California Raisins board game, not a chest set, like Jesse said, it's a board game. It looks very similar to Shoots and Ladders.
Is it like like them on their way like the first there on the vine and they're nice full little grapes and then what they shrivel up.
And die like is that is.
That's basically a raisin you know.
Well, it doesn't evolves off to get crushed and make wine, and some go to the Welches factory like I don't.
It doesn't end well for any of them. You put way more forethought into this than any has or any of the creators.
This is just off the top of my head.
If I had forethought, I would have a list of questions.
I think we've gotten a little off track.
Let's go back to I. There's the way. I'm sorry. I did research.
I love it.
I'm going to tell you the research, whether you want to hear it or not.
No, no, no, I always want to hear random research.
Okay, Barney Rubbel bubble bath is a real thing from the nineteen sixties. Oh you knew this, Okay.
I thought for sure they had made huge They would have.
You had like the old because I like to go to antique stores and vineae stores, so you'll see them all the time, like the old.
Uh.
Like it's like the bath containers and they would have like the head of whatever on it, and it would be yeah, and that was a whole.
I had them when I was a kid. Oh okay, Okay, So I mean not.
I don't think I had Biden have Barney rubble ones. But I but yes, I I remember those. Yeah, that was the thing.
It's it's it's great.
Do you not have any character bubble baths? What kind of sad sheltered?
Had a very sad silty What was that, Bathy? I think it's just plain dove like, I I'm sorry, I must my mom was punishing me clearly. Barney rubbel bubble baths, right, fantastic. You can find the Barney rubble bubble bath on eBay as well. Becky chin in and tells Joey that she will buy him the Rebel bubble Bath, but in return, she wants him to sell Jesse on the idea of a Nebraska wedding. So Joey starts to brainstorm the best way to sell Nebraska. He puts on his best Midwestern impression Alla Walter Brennan, Grandpa Amos in the real McCoys. He does that whole like, oh boy, it was.
Yeah, someone committed amilies all from the Midwest. I can't say it was entirely wrong, but no, but it was like, yeah, it was definitely yeah.
You're like, oh it was I don't know, Yeah.
Dave committed, though you know these bits were not committed unless he committed.
I mean, sure, the nice folks, the great weather, other than the you know, tornadoes, Yeah.
No, they're down to earth or friendly.
You know, I'm thinking dances. Never mind Kansas and tornadoes.
Well, I'm sure there's other natural disasters in the Midwest, and you know that's okay. So Joey urges Jesse to just picture it. And that's when which is.
All just picture It is a setup as if you hear those three words on a sitcom, you're about to enter a dream seat.
Yep, that that is. It's a Pavlovian response. You have you have to have a dream second.
One picture right and there it.
So enter Jesse's dream sequence. He's dressed in overalls, paired with a white T shirt and a black top hat and a bow tie. He approaches a goat and asks if he's seen his fiance anywhere, and just then Becky rides in on a tractor, wearing an overly poofy dress, braided pigtails sticking straight out, and black stuff over her two front teeth to make it look like she is missing teeth. What is happening, dude? You got me?
Okay?
And we haven't even gotten to the second one yet, so.
I don't know.
This was just again it's an excuse for costumes, but it is very it is very weird and probably offensive to uh large swaths of the country.
Well probably, yes, it was sa sense the but the dress was cute.
Just imagine though all that were They had to go out to a farm somewhere, or they had to, you know, go shoot all of that. And the best part is is when you take it outside of the studio, all of a sudden you switch to like film.
Yeah, and then when you come back to the stuff you shoot in studio, you're on tape.
Oh yeah, it looks it looks different.
It looks different, like the quality of it looks a little bit different, which is always interesting.
You throw in a goat, an unpredictable goat, like, man, how long could it take to get this shot right? Amazing? Uh So Becky calls out to him in a country accent and exclaims time to get hitched. Farm boy Jesse. He complains about being dressed like a Beverly hillbilly, but Becky insists he's cuter than a hound dog and a hair in.
It sounds like something my dad would say.
Second, totally pictures Sam.
This is sam ism cuter and a hound dog and a hairnet.
You know Sam is. She jumps into Jesse's arms and gives him a big smile. Jesse takes in her new look and cringes have mercy. She pulls him in for a big kiss, and his eyes widen with terror. I don't know how Jeff convinced these adults keep doing these dream sequences, like we had the weird Michelle one when her first day school.
I mean, it was you're contractually obligated.
At some point you just go, oh god, can you imagine John complain? John would complain about this and be like.
Remember remember the episode I fought with the clown Remember that episode?
Yes, that just sometimes you just gotta suck it up and do it, you know what I mean? Oh gosh, yeah, Well they they committed. I gotta admit they committed.
And if you're gonna be in it, you go full you know what I mean, go for it. But sometimes you just gotta fight the clowns.
I guess, pick and choose your battles. That's why John agreed to this. I don't know, but it was. It was a thing that we saw. That's all I gotta say about this.
Well, sitcom dream sequences are always been terrifying.
Yes, so thank god. This stream sequence ends and Jess is shell shocked. He says, I'm not getting married on hee haw and then he runs up to Becky and takes a good look at her teeth to make sure that dream wasn't a reality. Jesse begs Joey to explain the virtues of a classy, elegant wedding at Graceland. Joey approaches this by imitating Robin Leech from Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, and he shouts in Becky's face, imagine yourself at Graceland, and he highlights all the wonders of this estate before yelling her to picture it. And that's when Becky's dream sequence begins, also nearly as horrifying. So at Graceland, which really just looks like a gate at the studio that they put some decor arm. It was Culver Study. It was the front of every Sony. It looked like Sony stud.
Not Sony Culver Study.
Okay, you remember we were Sony was where we were, and Sony was had been Lorimar had been MGM. That was kind of like in the center of col she you went down uh not Braddock, but if you went down Culver or whatever to and kind of off a little bit like I guess east and south of that was Culver Studios with that big white house.
Oh oh oh, a big white.
House and the lawn and all of that.
And then behind that was Culver Studios, and that was I think where they shot I Love Lucy and stuff, or they shot a bunch of stuff and it's been there forever.
Oh wow, it doesn't look at.
All like that now, but I believe it was the gates in front.
Of that building.
Okay, totally wrong, but I think that was it. And then they just put the little music notes all over them or whatever.
Yeah.
These were clearly just sort of stuck on with tape.
Yeah, yeah, it was.
Did they not have a budget for a set? Like why why are they? It was kind of a phoned in location, so like why why that? Did you want them to fly to Graceland? I mean something that looked more like Graceland than just throwing nineteen.
No one was paying that close attention, you know what I mean? Remember Land of the Lost. Okay, that's all I have to say, Land of the Lost, we were small wonder we were watching that.
Okay, so this is very believable. Actually, if if wow, did they are?
You know that there's a large percentage of people out there that like, wait, they didn't go to Graceland.
I'm sorry, guys, really sorry. They spent the whole budget on costumes, I guess or Becky's bee hive, like, they must have blown the budget on that. So Jesse hops out of his red convertible dressed in his best Elvis jumpsuit. Parent, would you pick.
That era of the Elvis? You know I was wondering, Yeah, I was thinking more always go for the cute fifties.
Yeah, Elvis, Well campy, this is this whole thing is campy. So got to go for the campy. You need a good suit. Yeah. So he's talking in his Elvis boy and tells Becky to join him. That's when we see Becky with hair five times the size of Priscilla Presley's. She looks like she's in physical pain, admitting she can barely hold her head up with this particular hairstyle. She looks great though, like I really like the dark hair and the frost of yes, like fantastical. You really can. Yeah, Jesse insists she looks prettier than a fried peanut butter and nan or sandwich, and then she was so delicious. It does sound good. My mom used to a little drizzle of honey on top the best little afternoon snack. So Becky looks at him with hers.
I listen to us, and I'm like, we sound like the some occasionally we'll go off on a little comment and we sound like those the two ladies from SNL. That's it where they're the librarians have their own NBR like NPR show that just occasionally we'll say something, I'm like.
Ah, either the SNL girls or the grumpy muppet balcony muppets that are right judging everything got larryd.
Waldorf.
Sorry I didn't know their name. Sorry, of course stricted me. So Becky looks at him. She's got these over the top fake eyelashes and hot pink lipstick, and she reminds him her name is Rebecca, but he continues to call her Priscilla a few more times, and he decides that they need to make her beehive even bigger. He strikes a pose with the cape that is attached to the jumpsuit, and Becky passes out at this awful sight. She snaps back to reality and approaches her fiance with fire in her eyes. My name is Rebecca and I'm not getting married with a hairdoo like Marge Simpson.
And that joke has lasted through the years because the Simpsons will never die.
Yeah, that's right, they are predicting the future.
But they are. Yeah, isn't that cart That's very uncanny. But someone's a time traveler. So they argue again. They talk over each other again, so Joey again has to interrupt. He suggests they learn to compromise before they're married. He throws out the idea that they get married here in San Francisco, where they live and where all their friends are.
Shocking, what a thought.
Becky and Jesse love this idea, and they agree that they'll get married in San Francisco. Becky suggests that they also get married on the most romantic day of the year, and Jesse agrees on Elvis's birthday. God let it go like, let this good, Jesse, Yes, stop shoehorning Elvis into your line.
Right, I'd be concerned if I were back I'd be like, I don't. I think this is borderline concerning, very very so.
Becky says, no Valentine's Day. Jesse loves that idea too, and they immediately become a happy couple again.
Second mention of more dream sequences, what oh.
As long as it ends the dream sequences, right, I think? Please? Yeh No, I was just remarking that Becky has mentioned Valentine twice in one scene Valentine, Nebraska, and now they're getting married. She's got a thing for the day of love.
I guess it's yeah. I feel like there's some sort of are we supposed to pay attention to this? Maybe I watched too much Drupe Crime, you.
Know what I mean? Yes, for shadow attention.
This person's gonna come come back now.
It's not that deep.
The writers just like I just picked something right. You met Michelle Lally in the hit Bravo show The Valley. You met me literally during the most difficult chapter in my life. Now it's time for you to meet the real Meet Michelle Sennie. Yes, I changed my name and I want you to follow me on my journey to the pursuit of sassiness. So much has happened to me before, during, and after the show. Before you can really understand the eight weeks that you saw on TV, I think you have to know what was going on from the very beginning, from being raised by two immigrant parents, paying my own way through college and working at Hooters, to starting my own real estate empire, getting married, having a baby during COVID, to that very same marriage falling apart on national TV, to losing my mom, to eventually finding love again. There is so much to unpack and share. I'm on the pursuit of happiness and most importantly, I'm on the pursuit of sassiness. Listen to Pursuit of Sasiness starting on March seventeenth on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
So Becky thanks Joey for the help, and he nods you're welcome. Now, well, somebody please give me a credit card. If I call now, they'll throw in a free Bam Bam soap on a rope And I could not find that on the internet, by the way.
That's disappointing.
Jesse hands him his credit card and Jesse walks away, or Joey walks away Jesse hold each other while happiness radiates from both of their faces. Jesse admits he can hardly believe they're getting married in six weeks. Becky screams at the top of her lungs. In response, she reiterates, six weeks. We have a million things to do, and she begins to rattle off a whole list, So Jesse interrupts her to suggest, well, why don't we just elope, and in response, Becky lists off all the things they'd need to do to a lope. She storms out of the room and determination still listing off all of her to dos.
Six weeks though, Yeah, that is six, like six weeks.
They've been engaged for fourteen episodes. Now, why are we rushing it now? Like is it sweeps week?
Like?
Why the rush for day? I don't know this was I mean maybe just to create more drama. I don't know.
Yeah, probably, Yeah, that's I mean, that's what it is. It creates you if you have a short window of time to do something extraordinary in you know.
It's odd though, because they were picking out cake samples of episodes ago. But Becky doesn't have a dress, they don't have a location, they don't like.
They're picking out cake samdals, but you don't have a location. Yeah, yeah, that shows their priorities. Cake is a priority in the full house.
This was probably.
I would gather that the people who were writing this probably didn't have a ton of experience in planning weddings.
No, probably not. They're just like cake, yeah, time for great. They were like, sure you get cake, right? I mean that.
Yeah, and there's a thing in there dread. Yeah.
Six weeks plenty of time to plan a wedding, she writes.
Now I think they yeah, but I think it just gives.
It a little bit of it just raises the steaks as this raises the stakes.
Yep.
So next we are at the mall in the photographer's studio. The little boy is sitting in front of a rainbow mural, but there is no sign of joy on his face. His mom is begging him to smile, and the photographer is standing by in anticipation, but this boy refusesographer tells the mom to leave it to the professionals, and he calls out for his happy helper and DJ walks out dressed like raggedy ann. The photographer is this whole thing?
You could see it?
She mortified. She does not like doing like kookie stuff like you know, she.
Does not like the silly or like looking stupid, and that was yeah.
Yes, no anything like. She like, she never would have been able to do the Gibbler character because that was far too embarrassing, like ridiculous things. But yeah, you could tell she well, at.
Fourteen, who wants to dress like fourteen? Worse than Yeah, you're like.
Nobody wants to do that anyways, so uh. The photographer instructs her to help the child smile, so DJ bends down in front of him and enthusiastically introduces herself as the happy helper. She asks the boy to give her a big smile, and he shouts no in her face, so she resorts to doing a bunch of silly faces to try and make him laugh, but the boy stares at her stone faced and says, that's not funny.
I mean, you know, it wasn't funny.
It wasn't funny. It wasn't funny. I mean this kid had this kid had you know something he was not. He wasn't having. She talked to Steph.
I feel like they'd have a lot to talk about, you know what I mean.
Like the reality of situations. There's like what are we doing? Like, why is this happy hoper in front of me making a fool out of herself? So DJ grabs a stuffed hippo out of one of the toy chests and shows the boy how he can zippo and flipo before admitting she really feels like a dippo, and again the boy reminds her she's not funny. So DJ asks what it'll take to make him laugh, and the boy demands be a duck. DJ says okay and waddles around the floor, saying quack quack. I'm sure.
I wonder if he did this the rest of his life, you know what I mean? I wonder if it's just what it was like if.
This was his thing.
Yeah, this is negotiating this, yeah, her negotiator or just like this is what he's into, Like be a duck, you know what I mean?
Like, yeah, yeah, okay, hey whatever, whatever does it for you?
Boy?
Okay? Right? And it does? He smiles. He gives her a huge smile. The photographer snaps a picture and tells the mom what a beautiful child. Is that going to be cash or card? She responds, check, and they make their way over to the register. You're people, my people. She's writing a check. She's writing this check.
Yay, but it's nineteen ninety one.
Just don't get to notice that. Okay, hey, I sometimes I don't want to write a check, but sometimes I have to write a check. Someone's forcing you to write a check. Us I just wrote one. The other day. I had a guy putting up blind the blinds guy that he's not blind, but he's puts blinds up on windows, right, and he wanted a check. He doesn't want doesn't I offered Zell, I offered Venmo, I offered PayPal, and he was just like, no, I really just want to. And I was like, I almost called you and put him on the phone with you, because.
I was like, see, my friend doesn't believe that people still, I know, people still accept checks.
I like to make fun of you about it.
I know, Okay, then I do it.
I had been doing that one guy, just writing checks, yes, keeping keeping the check printers alive, you.
Know, only just the two of us, yes.
Yeah, yeah. Do you get the custom checks with like the little cats on them?
I used to, but I know I don't want to. Like when I when I fill my first checking account that I opened when I must have been like eighteen. Uh yeah, I was so excited to order like the custom checks and I was like into florals and I never did the cartoons. Why are you you're so judging me? Right now?
Get that express because I probably had the same I probably had like dogs online or something, you know what I mean. I'm just I'm laughing at the absolute old schoolness of it.
It's oh, yeah, no, it's it's you know. That was cool. I felt like such an adult by having personalized checks with personal flowers on or whatever I picked. Yeah, that was a sign.
Of little leg for a photo shoot.
Yes, So, while DJ is tidying up, Kimmy appears. She laughs at the sight of DJ, who looks like she's at her wits end. She asks, Kimmy, do you really have to come by every day and laugh at me? And Kimmy corrects her, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you. Only you're not joining in like a true best friend, does I know? Come on, Kimmy, like this is just mean. She she's one of those aigan DJ on to earn the money to buy the blowouts that Kimmy was then going to steal for her own closet.
But first of all, if your friend was dressed as a clown at the mall, would you not go by every day and laugh a little bit at them? If your best friend, Because I can tell you right now, I absolutely would.
You would? You absolutely would, Yes, you would not pass up that opportunity. I'm just saying, Oh, poor Dj, Okay, well, bookmark this outfit that I'm wearing. It's gonna be my everywhere you look later on. Oh okay, that's mental note.
I don't remember what it was, but we will, okay.
Uh, it was the floral. It was the green sweater with it was all floral, floral plants, floral sweater with the green. Okay, So Kimmy begs DJ to go on break because two cute boys want to buy them pizza. She points over to the boys and they give a little wave in response. DJ's humiliated. I don't want anyone cute seeing me like this. Jimmy says, how about afterwork? And DJ says, I have to go home, eat dinner, and then try and stay awake long enough to study for my science test. Kimmy frowns and response, poor kid, you're working like a dog and dressing like a dweeb. You must really want those blowouts.
Damn, Kimmy, she's just unforgiving, ruthless, ruthless. Right, Yeah, He's like, meanwhile, I'm gonna go hang out with these two guys, And how is Kimmy hitting all these guys? Like, Wow, she's got because she's not confidence, you know what I mean. She's just said she got that kind of energy.
She really does, and you know that must be it. That must be it, because anyone that dresses like that and acts like that begets confidence. That's all confidence. Yes, So DJ admits it's about more than just the shoes. She's trying to be a responsible adult, and Kimmy suggests, then I'd lose the clown suit, and she turns to leave, telling the boys to come on. DJ watches them in disappointment.
Yeah.
So, back in the kitchen, Michelle is sitting at the table with her little Sheriff's star pinned to her chest. She's holding up a treat for Comet, who sits on his hind legs and begs. In response, Michelle reminds him it's not polite to beg. She instructs the dog to say please, so Comet arcs, Michelle nods in approval and hands him the treat as a reward. The dog runs away and Michelle shouts, you forgot to say thank you, like she's really this is going to her head like you know, this polite police thing again.
The one thing we don't need is Michelle in a position of power, right, okay, you know now she needed authority over I mean she's already everyone's therapist and now she's now she's making the rules.
Yeah, this is this is not good.
This poor dog, absolutely and Michelle is an example of that.
So DJ and Kimmy walk in. Michelle wishes them a good afternoon. Give me and DJ roll their eyes before saying in Unison, good afternoon Michelle. DJ nervously asks if their dad is home, and Michelle politely tells her, no.
I'm just hanging out here by myself.
Well, of course, why would Danny be watching her took off?
Yeah, no, I'm alone from school.
Home alone training the dog like this is what she does. DJ lets out a sigh of relief. That means at least she'll stay out of trouble for a few minutes, but Kimmy reminds her she doesn't have to show her dad the science test. DJ begs to differ. I promised him i'd raise my grade and he knows I'm getting my test back today. She pulls the test out of her backpack and says, when he says this, I'm dead. Her paper has a giant red F written on the front.
That was so painful, man, when your test would get handed back to you.
You didn't do well on one.
Oh yeah, like today where it goes back to like your school year.
What it's all electronic, Like, yeah, people knew they'd be side eyeing you and be like.
Oh yeah, as the teacher passes out the tests, you would look to see what your friend got and yeah, yeah, sure.
But the writing on the top of it, Yes, it was.
A little strange that this test didn't have like more red markings on it, like this is what you got wrong or I needed more claireification here. But that's okay.
Just I mean, once she starts, once they start reading it, it's obvious why it's just just an.
F, just an F. Like there's no no, no, no words needed, It's just an F. DJ slumps into her chair and puts her head in her hands. This is the first f she's ever received. Michelle interrupts her pity party by reminding DJ there's no elbows on the table. Miss Michelle read the room like, this is not the time, right, Like gosh, yeah, she just wants to boss people around.
Yeah.
DJ is certain that her dad is going to make her quit this job, so Kimmy decides to step in. She grabs DJ's paper and pulls out a red pen of her own. She makes Kimmy has a red pen handily available right here, she does, you know, I love me a good red pen, you know me. She makes a mark on the paper and then reveals the most unconvincing A in the history of education, Like that's why was it so square?
It was like, well, how else are you going to turn an F into an A?
I mean, you've got it.
I think the joke is is that obviously no one's going to buy that, kimmey.
True, okay, you know what I mean?
Like, who in their right mind is gonna be fooled by fooled?
This is true, Danny's fooled. But I feel like she should have gone for a B. It would have been able to make the f.
B and never Yeah, if you're gonna cheat, never go for the top top you know what I mean?
You want to.
Blend in, go a little just a little below yep, like passing but not crazy.
Sy but not perfect. Yeah, yeah, Jimmy, really.
That I am encouraging that at all. I'm just saying that's true.
We do not encourage forgery. Children who are listening to this. So DJ snatches the paper out of her hands and shouts how did you do that? And Michelle, butson, it's not polite to yell.
With the pen. How did you do that? Why did you?
Why did you do that? Right? Why how did you do and watched you with a red pen? It's easy. Michelle frowns and yells at DJ. You forgot to say please. DJ's had enough. She pulls Michelle out of her chair, walks her into the living room, and as she's being carried out, Michelle repeats over and over, this is not polite, This is not polite. DJ puts her of the show, just removing Michelle.
Thank yeah, you over there.
DJ puts her down and says thank you, and Michelle replies, you are not welcome, and then walks off it's great, great delivery, though, you know it was. It was.
It was very funny.
It's weird now, like you know, everybody, we just were joking around.
Yeah it was.
It was cute and funny. But if it was real life, you'd be so so sick of it.
So, after all that's handled, DJ looks at Kimmy with dread. I have to go to work, and you know, you really messed me up by giving me that A. Now I can't show it to my dad, give me questions why not. It's a perfect forgery.
And this is why Kimmy is failing school because she's like that totally looks like, wow, you would write an A. Everyone's like explains a lot in like qnea form, like what do you like what?
This is why Kimmy got only accepted to Clown College a few seasons later.
Because well, she took the outfit from DJ's work.
Who got the last laugh? There? Ell, it's true. So DJ reminds Kimmy that it's wrong, it's dishonest, it's deceitful. She picks up the paper and stops herself. It really does look like an A. Yeah, no, no, I know what. Maybe you've got a on the test.
You know what I mean, anyone is fooled by this A. I we need to check this A.
This A is burned into my brain like just it's like the scarlet letter of terrible as. Yeah it is that should.
Be like like it's what like a like a A see and say would type as an A. You know what I mean, if you had to, like it had to be like straight lines over little.
Square yeah, an angular? Yeah, this is this This is like the cover photo of this episode. That's all I remember about this episode is that terrible A. So next at the mall, two twin babies are seated for pictures and DJ is dressed in her usual get up as she waddles around the floor, quacking and trying to get the babies to smile. Then do you, Danny Stephan Michelle walk in. Danny proudly snaps a picture of his daughter and she frowns, Oh great, more humiliation.
I have to say that I forgot how uh like you can sneakily take pictures now, like with your phone.
You know what I mean?
It was you were obvious when you were taking a picture in nineteen ninety one.
Oh yeah, you had a noise there was a flash. You had to hold a thing up to your face there. Yeah, no, and the and the photographer guy does not even notice that this strange man has walked in with a camera, walked into a photography studio with his own camera and is taking pictures of the assistant like this is not a red flag? Come on a photographer? H so oh so, DJ goes over to her family and asks what are they doing here? Danny explains that they were in the neighborhood and he had his camera, so why not stop by and say hi? Stephanie asks, do you know you have a mop on your head? Oh? Steph to point out the obvious, you know right, DJ glares at her, Yes, it's part of my uniform, and Steph asks, can I borrow your uniform next Halloween? She just oh, stephan is just so. She's not letting this go No. DJ rolls her eyes in response, and then directs her attention back to Danny. She tells him she has to get back to work, but Danny says, if I'm not mistaken, and I'm not, wasn't your science test do back today? How'd you do? DJ tries to avoid this conversation, telling her Dad that she should really get back to work, but Danny wants to hear how she did. He asks if she brought the test with her. DJ nods and walks over to grab the test from her backpack, admitting, I'll show you, but there's something I should really tell you. Danny stares at the paper in awe, you got an A. This is going right up on the refrigerator.
Now, Danny, I'm starting to question you a little bit.
Or do you think THEA is?
Actually?
Is this fool so many people? Kimmy's not the dumb one. Everybody else is the dumb one.
Jimmy's like, I'm just meeting you guys where you're at.
Okay? She she has a good read on the Tanners and their gullibility. Yes, So DJ takes the paper from him and begins to explain this isn't really what, but Danny cuts her off. He admits, I'm a little embarrassed to tell you this, but I had my doubts about you, but you just proved to me that you can hold a job and actually improve on your schoolwork. I have never been so proud. And then he asks, what is it you wanted to tell me? How many sitcom misunderstandings would be easily solved if people would just stop interrupting and let the other person finish a sentence.
Well, because in sitcom land only one person can speak at a time. That the rules of engagement are totally different than they are in the real world.
They are, yes, they are no rules don't apply your socializity. It's not like let me talk.
No, it is like, oh no, I've stopped talking and you're talking, and you're taking us down this road and now I have to follow you.
Yep. Yeah, it is so true and it's it's such a trope and it's hysterical.
I don't know why, but when Danny said I had my doubts about you that one, I felt like, how that's just kind of hurt.
Well, I guess doubts that he could juggle the job and the science test. I know that. I like, I don't know, I just feel like.
Like I really thought you'd suck, but here we are, you know what I mean.
Like it's a brutal it's a little brutal.
Like I know what the sentiment was struck me as like, especially for dj something your friend would say, but like when your parents.
Like I don't know.
I think you would make it.
I never really thought you would fail.
I mean, that's something they say to you when you're like thirty five, and you know what I mean, and they're like telling you the truth about who you were as a child.
Oh yeah, yeah, no, well it's it's DJ is such a straight A student that. Yeah, Danny shouldn't really be surprised by the the A because you know, that's that's how she do So DJ, of course, just can't bring herself to say what she wanted to say. Instead, she tells him there's a sale on sponges down at Broombarn. Oh is that next to Pickleton? Yes, I got it. Excellentographer makes his way over to the family and he tells Danny what beautiful children? Can I help you people? Danny admits, we had no intention of having any pictures taken, but your bright young assistant convinced me to get some shots of my sweet little Michelle over there. Dja's boss is happy to hear this. He asks her to start happy helping, so DJ grabs Michelle's hand and pretends like she doesn't know her. Danny tells a photographer that bright young lady in the clown costume is fabulous. Better give her a raise. But what the heck do I know? I've never seen her before in my life. Danny shut up, Like, Danny, you are making stop talking.
You know that's one thing Danny cannot do.
He cannot do it. So DJ asks Michelle to say cheese, but Michelle reminds her, you mean say cheese. Please. DJ corrects herself and Michelle does as she's told. She holds her hands up to her chin and poses sweetly for the camera. Danny fakes a gasp. This is amazing, My sweet little Michelle has never smiled in her entire life. Michelle, I honestly asking more questions about that. I'd be like, really the photographer. The photographer is either like, I'll put up with this kook as long as I get his money and he doesn't have to write a check.
But honestly, no, as long as he writes me a check, I'm good. You know he doesn't Care's nineteen ninety one. Everybody's writing checks, checks.
For groceries, checks for photo studios, checks for everything. Yes, you know. Okay, So back in the kitchen, Stephanie brings a glass of milk and a hostess cupcake on a plate over to the table to eat. This is very, very formal for a cupcake plate and only one. Come on, come on, this is not believable. Michelle is eyeing her dessert and asks, may I have that cupcake please? Stephanie responds, no, you may not. Michelle argues, but I was polite and I said please. Stephanie counters, I was polite too, I said no, you may not. Michelle snaps. She pulls the star off of her sweatshirt and slams it on the table. She angrily states, guess what politeness week is over? She grabs cupcake and runs out of the room with it and stuff. Shows what happens.
When you tell Michelle no, right right? She loses it.
She loses it the first time. Yes, she was just like I'm not getting what I want by sugar. Have you noticed, yeah, the cake between the cake obsession, the sugar benches. Yeah, yep. This is how she's self soothing in this family where she's left alone. She left alone a lot, right, Yeah, She's like, I'll just I'll fill that void in my heart with cake and cupcakes. This is how she copes. So Jesse walks into the kitchen and sees DJ's science test hanging on the fridge. At first, he admires the a, but then he holds it up to the light and realizes it's fake.
Finally, only one that figured it, And I mean I know why, Yeah, yeah, I get the whole family.
He's the only one, yep, and that only one that knows what an a looks like in the family. I guess he's the only one that knows what a forgery looks like because he did it all throughout high school. At that moment, DJ runs down the stairs. She notices Jesse eyeing her paper, so she tries to sneak back up, but he spots her. He casually mentions her a paper and she tells him, oh, it was nothing, So Jesse decides to read her answers aloud so he can see what an A paper looks like. On question one, DJ said, photosynthesis is the process of photos being synthesized, and then he wonders what an F paper looks like. He places his fingers over Kimmy's forgery and shows her it looks something like this, the big f. DJ asks how he knew, and Jesse scoffs at the question, telling Telly DJ, he used to change forties to nineties, zero's to hundreds, and he brags about the time he changed awful to awesome. Kind of impressive. Actually, yeah. DJ stares at him in shock, and Jesse finally stops himself. He tells her the point is it was wrong and what she did is wrong too. DJ tries to defend herself, Kimmy was the one who changed the grade. Jesse points out, yes, but you didn't do anything about it, did you. When she has no response, he asks, you know what you have to do with this paper, don't you? And DJ hopes keep my mouth shut and do better next time. Jesse shakes his head no, and DJ accepts defeat. She asks where her dad is, and Jesse points her towards the living room, where Danny is rotating couch cushions. This was good. This was a good little the moment between Jesse and This was a good. He knows about.
Forgery and screwed up plenty of times.
Yeah, he's passing that knowledge down to DJ. Now. Yeah, so in the living room, sure enough, Danny is rotating couch cushions, which is actually, I do this, this is necessary.
I was like oh, am rot there's always one that you sit on all the time. You got to switch it out with the other.
You got to switch it out so you don't get away, so you don't. Yeah, yeah, no, this is smart. This is not neurotic.
No, this is not neurotic. This is this is good housekeeping.
Good housekeeping, I totally agree. DJ approaches him with the paper in her hand and decides to give and he decides to give her a helpful hint, always rotate your couch cushions every twenty twenty five thousand sits. DJ tells them they need to talk, so they sit on the newly rotated cushions. She asks Danny, you know what I like about you best? And Danny guesses my charm, my rugged, good looks, and DJ says, you're forgiving nature. She takes a deep breath before admitting my science grade was an F and Kimmy changed it to an A. Danny stares at the paper in awe and says, I'm guessing she doesn't have the authority to do this. DJ tries to tell her dad how sorry she is, but with work and all of her other classes, she didn't have time to study for the test. Danny sternly tells her, then you should have come to me and told me what was going on. You wanted to be a responsible adult, and this was the least responsible thing you could have done. DJ size, I just wanted to prove that I could earn my own money. Danny tells her that's all out the window. Now she's gonna have to quit her job, and he won't allow her to hang out at the mall until her grade is up. DJ sighs, Okay, I guess I'll go back to being a kid again. Danny softens his tone and puts his arm around his daughter. He tells her there's nothing wrong with being a kid. In fact, she should enjoy it. She's got the rest of her life to be an adult. So it's so true. DJ admits, well, I guess if being an adult means wearing a red mop on my head, I can handle being a kid a little bit longer. Danny laughs, like it.
I feel like it does metaphorically, you know what I mean. I feel like much of the time as an adult you're dressed as a clown.
It's just in your own mind.
You're right, you know.
This isn't worth it?
Yep.
Yeah, yeah, this sucks. Yeah it works. Yep. Uh so where am I?
Danny last interrupted.
No, that's okay, Danny tells her, in case I forgot to mention it, you're a pretty great kid. She gives him a big hug and thanks him for the compliment, and then she pulls out her first and last paycheck. They both look at it, and Danny wonders, are you going to use it to help pay for those blowouts? And DJ is surprised he would ask such a thing. Are you kidding pay one hundred and sixty dollars for shoes? Do you know how much quacking and waddling I had to do to earn this money? It's going in the bank. Not so like kids are so willing to spend your money, but when it's their money, they don't want to spend any of it, right, Yeah, no.
My kids, My kids will spend like they'll try and sort of spend their money.
Are they good at saving? Are they good at saving their money? No? No, I mean they're saving them.
They're good at spending the money. They don't have any problem being like, oh I wouldn't buy that. They're like no, I would totally buy that. Yes, it's worth it.
Yeah, so Danny nods approvingly. It looks like DJ's understanding the value of a dollar. She nods an agreement. I am, and I appreciate how you're gonna feel when I ask you this. Can I have a raise on my allowance? Danny pivots the conversation back to the couch cushions, but DJ tries to plead her case. They argue back and forth as the audience chairs, And that is our show, loving it? Hi? That was that was That was an episode. That was a not a bad episode.
It was a cute episode and very like relevant to that stage of life. I know, you know Zoe has been talking about wanting to get a part time job, and.
He has talked about want to babysit. You know that middle school, high school age when you're like, okay, you know, I wanna I'm wanna be a little.
More responsible for some Yeah, they have things they want. They want to buy Starbucks, they want to buy stuff at the mall, and they need to earn their own money. So this is it. Yeah, I'm having this conversation with Felicity. Now, I'm like, you're gonna be eighteen. Time to get a job. Yeah in the summertime. Yeah, it is it's time girl. You've waited long enough, so.
Time for you to wear the red mop my friend?
Yes, yes, So what was your okay, you're everywhere you look?
You had one going back to this outfit. As soon as I saw it, I was like, whoa visual memory? I have pictures of myself wearing this outfit in my like family pictures at home. This was. These were my own clothes that I brought to set and for some reason decided they wardrobe was like, yeah, wear are those? Those are great? Like this? This is something my mother picked out and I wore at home.
It did seem quite tame.
It seemed tame, camble like the floor. It was not attractive, but it was tamer than Kimmy's normal wacky pattern situation.
This was It was like a knit cardigan with sort of three D flowers. Yeah, onto it right.
It looked like, you know, a grandmother's couch or something. You know. It was. It was not fashionable, but not very gibbler. This was my own.
Maybe you really do you think maybe you really hated what they picked out for you that week, and maybe like you brought.
That in or something, wondering why, like, was there a budgetary issue, Like, no, it was probably Yeah. I didn't like what they had picked out, and I was like, well, how about this instead? I don't know, but I think you look cute. Oh well, thank you.
And obviously those the boys eating pizza them all agreed.
So they liked Grandma's couch look couch.
Yeah, no, they thought you were wearing a very attracted about it.
Amazing. Well. Yeah, one one of the only times, probably the only time I wore my own clothes as Gibbler.
Other than the Mermaid butt ondesday. That's I know, it's yours.
I know, Jody Mermaid. I will never live that down.
I because I'm jealous of the Mermaid, but wanty I would wear it.
Yeah, anyway, just be careful, be careful what you wish. That's true.
Frank warv ab here and myself a wash in them everywhere. Yes, well, thank you guys for joining us on another ridiculous and unhinged episode of how Rude tanner Rito's We love that you guys listen.
Thank you so much.
Make sure you're liking and subscribing and reading the podcast wherever you're listening to it. If you want to follow us on Instagram, you can check us out at how Rude Podcast, or you can send us an email at how Rude Tanatos at gmail dot com.
Here you go, thank for a moment there, but again, we appreciate you, guys. We love you, fan ritos, and uh remember the world is small. The house is full of red mops, just full of them.
Yes, everyone's wearing red mops.
One's wearing red mops. Everyone and quacking and waddling.
Yeah, yep, I'm gonna go do it right now.
Hey, I'm gonna cut some bangs. I'm gonna put a mop on my head right, changing my whole blendon. I think welfare check on Jody and Andrea
