Remember Working at Toys "R" Us? (with Dan Ozzi)

Published Oct 17, 2022, 10:00 AM

This week the Bayers are joined by bestselling author, Dan Ozzi whose book "Sellout" comes out on paperback tomorrow! To celebrate we reminisce about the time Dan had a VIP experience with Jonah and his parents at a New York Yankees game (thanks to Vanessa and Lorne Michaels) and which corporations have the best snacks, ranging from free Luna bars at Dan's ex-employer VICE to the time he loaded up on free desserts at Google. From there we get into our topic, where Dan compares his job working at a Toys "R" Us on Staten Island to Jonah's experience of working at a Kids "R" Us in suburban Ohio. It turns out Dan's job was like a Coen Safdie brothers movie with Simpsons figurines while Jonah's job was more like a movie directed by a very boring director that ends with him getting fired for playing a Tori Amos song on the local news. Finally, we play another round of "Legit Moan or Unnecessary Groan" where we debate if the United States are Un-united, discuss how littering with garbage is different than littering with language and recap the basic tenets of tipping for those Cleveland Plain Dealer readers who feel that working at Pizza Hut for minimum wage is a job that you should be grateful to have. Did we mention Dan's book is coming out in paperback? 

Hi. I'm Vanessa Beyor and this is my brother Jonah. Were two siblings who love to talk about our childhood and nostalgia and how it shaped us into the people we are today, who are pretty hilarious if I do say so myself. Welcome to how did we get weird? So, Jonah, we have an incredible guest today as a friend. We're fans and look did we share an incredible experience with him once where we went to a Yankees game? Yes, Yes, we went to a Yankees game. I believe I think I went a couple of times, but memorably with our guests. I believe you had Lauren Michael c which are right behind home base and then yeah, we would call those seats one through four, not exaggerating one through four, but I feel like the real draw was the food inside. Yes, and how would you describe the kind of inside food set up? Well, I would say, yeah, if you get those premost seats, you're getting access to a full on buffet. There's a raw bar, that's the thing I remember the most. There's dessert bar. There's also Yeah, for a lot of the game, we would go inside and eat and then whenever I would use those seats. You could order food to your seat too, but then everyone watching the game on their TV would see you eating because you're right behind home plate. I feel like people were like, where are you because I'd be like, I'm on TV, and then I'd go inside and eat like nine pounds of crab and then come back out. Yeah. I believe we saw Paul Simon. There is that true. Yeah, And I think I said hi to him and you were kind of impressed because I knew him from sn L. I think he kind of recognized you. Maybe. Yeah, Yeah, that makes the story cooler for sure. But yeah, we don't know much about sports, but that's if you're going to go to a sports game, I think that's that's the way to do it. Yeah, it completely getting to use Lauren's incredible tickets for the time while I was on SNL completely ruined every sporting event for me for the rest of my life because nothing will ever be that fancy. As someone who not only loves free stuff, but specifically loves free food, I'm going nowhere but down. Yeah. Hard to find free steak and crab legs really hard. Well, I find another way to get free lobster and steak someday. I think, so I'm pretty good with that stuff, but who knows. Anyways, Joanna go ahead, alright, So today our guest is a very famous writer. His best selling books sell at the major label Feeding Frenzy. That Swept Punk Emon Hardcore will be released on paperback tomorrow, October eighteen. Let's give it up to a friend of the Bears and all around nice guy, Dan Ozzy. Hey, Dan, Oh my gosh, Hi guys, how's it going. Thanks for that trip down memory lane. But I have to clarify, and I hope I'm not breaking the fourth wall or something like that, but I did not go to a game with the both of you. I went to a game with the Bayer family when Vanessa had to last minute a People's Choice award or something like that, and so I got tag teamed in. I got to hang out with Jonah and the bay Or parents, which was one of the most delightful experiences. But I agree with with Vanessa saying after that experience of just being fetted with lobster towels and crab legs and steak and sushi during a baseball game, I cannot go back to a sporting event I have a picture with us in the bay or family. We are literally the last people left in the stadium. Like the guy was like, I'm so sorry to do this, but you guys kind of have to. We're like clearing it out and we're like, okay, just stuffing like sandwiches in our pockets and stuff. The fastest a baseball game has ever gone by for me in my life. Yeah, normally it feels like three weeks. Oh my god, oh my god, you're there, Especially on like a sunny afternoon, it's like nine hours. That day was like I closed my I blinked, I put one cheeseburger in my mouth, and the next thing I knew it was over. But yeah, so I was a stand in for them. You were standing for me. That is so great. You know. It's funny. We were talking about this and I thought I remembered it. But I think it's because we all hung out so much when we were all in New York that I just assumed that we took you. But that makes total sense that the tickets are for four people. I couldn't make it. You got to go with Caroline and Todd. Yeah. The first Todd. He kept telling me that he's the first he did at the game. I think he did. Yeah, probably, So I did not meet Paul Simon with you, but one super awesome celebrity encounter that the three of us did have was and I was just thinking about this story the other day when we speaking of la Land. When we met Ryan Gosling together, because you came to SNL was like an SNL thing, and I remember because you had that like Christmas, Yes, Santa Baby, one of my all time favorite things I ever got to do at SNL. So funny. And I remember he came over to us and he like, I don't know if this gets talked about a lot, but he's a pretty handsome guy. You know, he's pretty good looking. No one talks about that. He came over and he's so charming. He like. I remember he shook my hand and he had like a nice watch, and I remember my instant thought was like, Manna, I gotta get a nice watch like that. And I remember like he took our hands and then and then you were like, oh, Ryan, but this is my my brother Jonah. And I remember he was just like, this is your sister, and Jonah was like yeah, and he was just like your sister is a genius. And Jonah was like, oh, I know, like we're really proud of her, and he was like, no, you don't understand, like she's a genius. And we were all just like okay, like just like heart fluttering, like okay, and then he kind of like did the rounds and then went and talked to everybody. But that was just so funny. This is really validating for me, Dan, because I try to kind of tell people that like Ryan Gossling and I like really got along when he hosted, and like he was so nice and we're and like I feel like you could easily dismiss me, and people could easily dismiss me and be like yeah right, sure whatever. But so you heard it here first, I witness account. I'm best selling author, Dan Ozzie, and I was putting my every every credibility I have behind this statement. Ryan Gosling called Vanessa Bayer a genius with all the sincerity in his heart. I have it ingrained in my mind. Incredible. Okay, Well, it was great doing this podcast. A good place to stop think, well, Dan, you know, speaking of free snacks, you used to work at a place a magazine called Vice yeah, and you used to just come in and get to come by so often because you had free Luna bars and you have blue bottle coffee like machines that would make like Latte's in the machine. Still have never seen anything like that, and I feel that would just come all the time. They didn't have a lot of security and I could just go but I'm here to see Dan and just get a bunch of snacks. Yeah, you get the sticker up at the front and then you're you're good. Yeah. I don't know how you did the Luna bars. Like if I never had another Luna Bar in my life, I would be very happy with it. But the coffee machine was cool because it's like a touch screen. Yes, like had pictures of what they had and you you could like do like, oh, I'm gonna get like a mock yatta with a shot and then you could add like a shot of espresso. It was very cool. So Jonah was there and after a while, it wasn't like a question of like, oh, why is Jonah here? It was just like, okay, yeah, I like Jonah's Jonah is doing is getting his coffee. You know. The last thing I would do it that I remember is you have the n or what company you worked for, like your name, and I would always enter like Metallica for like weird names. No one ever cared, but I felt like hilarious. I was like, it says Metallica and I'm taking free coffee. This is like incredible. Yeah, good times. I feel like that is like a thing that was just happening, like right in the early two thousands that these companies started having, Like like I remember visiting my friend Danielle for lunch at Google in Chicago. It was not only a free like I'm going to call a gourmet lunch, it was I've been there, It's like a big cafeteria, incredible lunch. And then it was like these bins of like king sized candy bars gum, not only lunar bars, but like balance bars. Remember those are really big cliff bars. I'm doing the math in my head. I'm going I'm leaving this place with fifty worth. I had a lunch meeting at Google one time, and I you know, it was like a work meeting, but I cannot I just don't have much like that Yankee Stadium restaurant. I don't have the capacity to like limit when the food is free, I just can't. So we had we had like lunch together, and then they were like, Okay, does everybody want to grab some for dessert and then we'll go have our meeting. And to everybody else, like or all the normal people, that meant like, oh yeah, I want to grab a cookie or whatever, and to me that meant just like, let's load up. And so I loaded up. And then like when I met back up with this group, like they were just looking at me, and I could immediately tell like, oh no, I funked up because I had like one of those plastic clamshells and I had filled it with cookies and cupies. It wouldn't even close anymore like the lid with And so we had this meeting where they were all looking at me like wow, damn really loaded up. And so I was in this space where I was like, well, I have to finish this because I have to make it look like this is just how much normal dessert I have. For you're like a pretty buff guy, like it could be that you're like doing some kind of like every two hours, I have to have like, you know, hundred grams of sugar. That's the common diet they do and they're lifting weights. I had to ride this line between like, well, I have to finish it all so that it looks normal, but I also have to have the meeting, so I have to like not just be talking with food. So I would like do my little presentation and then like scarf a cupcake just because I have to go through the whole. It was so embarrassing. I totally understand. In fact, it's you're reminding me when I was in Chicago. When I was living in Chicago, like post college and I was second City, the comedy theater hired me to like I would understudy for their like three different touring companies that did like comedy shows at like colleges and stuff, and it was really fun. And whenever they would put me in to understudy someone and go on tour with them, we would have dinners and then they'd be like snacks out, and I would always like take so much of the food. At one time in particular, I remember we were doing a show in some city and they had like all this food out, and then everyone was leaving and I started taking like everything, like I took all the extra like desserts and snacks but then they were like bottled waters, which are like pretty heavy, and also like how many bottled waters does one person need? And I like put them all in my back and it took them all with me. And then I got home back to my apartment in Chicago, and I like opened the bag I had taken the TV remote control from the hotel because I thrown so much stuff in my back, like I don't I guess some of it must have been in my hotel room. I don't know, but anyways, I threw so much stuff in that I didn't realize it's taking the TV remote. And I remember being like, do I need to like mail them this remote? It was so embarrassing, Like I was like so embarrassed to send it to them. And I was also like I made myself feel better by being like I don't like to steal. But also most of these remotes are probably universal, so like they can take them from another room, like they'll they're probably fine. But and I've been in hotel rooms that don't have remotes and they you know, they'll you can get one from the front desk or whatever. But yeah, I get it. It's so hard also just to say, like when we were pitching my show to different networks. Sometimes we would go to these networks and be like so much food, Like especially I think Netflix had like in the front lobby there's like a coffee bar, but then there's also these like canisters that have like M and m's and stuff in them, and you sort of have to weigh, like it's exactly what you were just saying. Dan, I'm like, at what point does like me taking all this free stuff start to negatively affect the work. I think it's almost like a test to see, like how much self control does this person a person we want to be working with. The Other time too, we really embarrass somebody was when I was twenty to my cousin Mike was twenty one, and he made the Jets, the New York Jets, and so it was really cool. But in the in the early days, it was like, well, he's a rookie, like he might not make it was like very like he wasn't guaranteed a spot, and so it was like really like, oh, I don't know if he's gonna make it. So my family, like first game, we we just like loaded up my big, huge Italian family. They were like twenty five of us, like we had a whole section and it was fun. And then afterwards there was like, you know, like a family bubble, like one of those like you know, tents or whatever, and they had like all these cookies and sandwiches and like little mini gatorad's. As soon as we got in there, the whole like the game was so irrelevant and like my huge this is like my grandfather was still alive and my uncle Nina was like, Johnny, you gotta see what I got about there, and he's just loaning. I remember my grandfather had a cookie and a piece of chicken and then another cookie on top of it, like a sandwich, and he's like, this is a good spread. That got it. It's like just like this Italian family like wiping clean everything. The Jets facility had cousins, just like trying not rock the boat. Like he really wants to make this team, right, like his family is like just pocketing gatorades in the background. You know. It's just like it must have been so humiliating for him. There's something similar happened to me when I made the Cleveland Brown. Did he make the team? He did? He made the team. He played on the Jets for six years, and he played the Chiefs for three years and then uh yeah after that first season, and we you know, we weren't as as invited right right, right right. A lot of times when I do like talk shows, they in your dressing room will put like all this food, like they'll put like depending on the show, like they'll have like sandwiches from like someplace, or they'll have like some like local like it. Just like especially like Colbert, like has Jonah has come to Colbert with me before, they had like the best they'll give me like noise canceling headphones or something. Yeah, just all this stuff. It's like so awesome. I always think like when Michelle Peiffer does that or something, like she leaves the dressing room, she probably leaves all the stuff. She's not throwing the cookies into a bag. She's not like taking like all the teas from the thing. I always leave those shows and I never ever get paparazzi, Like nobody gives a shit about me. But it's like they just always paparazzi are outside those shows because they just don't know who's going to be coming out of that. So like the one time that anyone is any photographers. I'm walking out and I've got bags, bags, like cookies over flowing like it just even for the staff that works at this show, you think like they must be so impressed when someone just leaves and it's like maybe I'll take like a little bag of skinny pop and just be like, you know, like whatever. Yeah. Yeah, Well, I'm sure the producers know that they have like two kinds of guests take the take the snacks guests and the too good for the snacks guest. You know, I'm sure when Tom Cruise is coming in there, they're like, oh yeah, he's not gonna take the double her own Vanisa, though she brought her extra deep do bag today. So Dan, let me ask you this, if someone who had a job with three snacks, does the novelty wear off when you're seeing it every day, get sick of it? Are you not as interested? What's it like? Well, like I said that those the snacks, snacks like the bars I really could do without, and Jonah, as somebody who's been in a number of green rooms, I could truly like the Sometimes the thought of a cliff bar makes me gagg um. There were yogurts which I think was a good snack. But otherwise it was really just the coffee and the soda. I am not a big soda drinker, but my friend Colin used to like every day come in at nine thirty and you would just hear like, and I'm like, you were cracked a diet coke at nine thirty. That's insane to me. Yeah, there was a cereal bar, wasn't there. I would go, oh, yeah, no, that that part of it doesn't lose the only And also too, I don't feel like it's as great as you're making it out to be, Like Google is insane. Ice just had like a little kitchen with some cereal, some coffee, and like a fridge full of sodas and yogurt and that was that was it. That still sounds great. The trick was it? At Vice there was like the food website Munchies, and so if you could be friends with somebody at Munchies, and I was my friend Hillary, they would always be doing these like video shoots where they're like, yeah, today, like Maddie Matheson is gonna cook like a pot roast or like slow roast ribs or whatever. And then as soon as they were done with the video shoot, they just had all the food web. So once you got that cheet chat from Munchies, like hey, there's food in the kitchen, I just turned into like you know in a cartoon, when it's just like an outline of yourself, Like like I would just go over to the kitchen and just raid on whatever like hot food they had, because you can only have so many, right, the hot food feels like a real I will say, even like when I worked at an ad agency in Chicago, like we would have clients and sometimes and it would be like big meetings where they would have sandwiches ordered in or something, and it was like as soon as the meeting was over, someone would like come and be like, hey, like everybody like the so and so, like client has left, so there's like sandwiches in the little kitchen area and people would like you're saying, like people would do over. You know, these are people working at an ad agency in Chicago. These are people who you know they can afford to buy pretty nice sandwiches for them. It's about the hunt. It's about that. It's there's something so enticing about free food and again or the office birthday, Oh my God, hey, Janelle is having a birthday today, and you're like, I don't even know Janelle, but I want yea. And I think there's also something about having it in a bag and being able to take it home that all that office food is like, I don't necessarily want to have any of Janelle's cake, like in front of her. I don't know her, she's not I don't want these people. I want to take that cake. I want to eat it in the comfort of my own home mom watching Bravo and like, thank you to Janelle. But I honestly like by your own birthday cake. Yeah. So, I guess my point is I love taking home free food. And I think you're right, Dan. I think there's two types of people. And wouldn't that be so nice to be that person who leaves it all behind? But guess what, No, not me. Alright, We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back with dan Azzie after this, and we're back, let's talk about our topic. Yes, so, Dan, we're so excited to talk about your topic. This is actually something that I didn't know about you until recently and something we have in common and you growing up worked at Toys r Us. Is that true? Yeah? I can't believe we never knew that about each other. Or maybe we did and we just forgot. I've walked a lot of the Toys Rus memories out of my mind, to be honest. Yeah, Jonah, you worked at Kids or Us. Dan worked at Toys r Us and I gotta believe that's the same owners. Yeah, the Rush the r Us family. Wait, but Jonah, this is very important. Did you work at the Kids r Us stand alone or did you work at a kids rust that was in the Toys Rus? Oh my god, I was just gonna ask if they ever were in the same building. Yeah, I was in stand alone Kids Are. It was just kids are so interesting? Interesting? Did you have the kids a Us in your toys Yeah? We did, huh and what we did and like, you know, it was kind of this like they were a different staff the Kids are Us. But sometimes, like you know, like we shared like the break room and everything else. I think they were just kids or US people. But like if there was like a manager shortage or something like that, and the manager from Kids r Us was like the manager for the day, it was like having a like a like a substitute teacher, substitute teacher. Thank you, Vanessa, you would really like act out, well, yeah, we would act out in general. I'm really excited to talk about this because, like some because I feel like the my feelings about toys Rus is like changed over my lifetime because as a kid, toys Rus is like super happy place that's like the best place in the world. And then when I worked there in my teenage years, it was like really sketchy and weird and like made me hate the place. And then now like looking back, some like really dark things have happened since, And I hope we get to that part of it because it's like I was just talking about it with a friend who used to worked there, Like maybe the darkest part of my life took place at toys r Us. Yeah, can you tell us? Was this Staten Island? And how old are you when you were working there? It was set in island I was. I think I got hired at seventeen and I worked there until I was like twenties. So I worked I did, which was really surprising because it was such an exploitative place to work and it was like I don't know why I did. I mean, I know why I did. I'm lazy and I stick with a bad situation way past its expiration. And also to their credit, they did do thing that was like really amazing. Like it was like a corporate policy where they would pay for a college students tuition up to like five thousand dollars a semester. Like it was a lot of monthy, like more than I probably made there at like seven dollars, So like I took advantage of that like every semester, and I think I was like the only person in the history of like Toys Ros employees who would actually used it. Because I started using it, they like stopped the program. There no, no, no no, Like we've given out ten thousand dollars. That's enough, We're not doing this anymore. But yeah, it was like a really weird program that I don't think they thought anybody was going to take them up on. So I think that's part of the reason I stayed with it. That's really interesting. I wonder if they did this at your store. I remember, and I didn't have a lot of job before this, so I thought that this was totally normal. Looking back, it's kind of weird. Every day leaving work, we had to open up any bags or backpacks we brought and have our manager go through them to make sure we didn't steal anything. And we're only kids clothes, Like I was like a seventeen year old Jinkos and like tongue piercing, I was. They weren't checking the legs of your pants for it. But I remember being kind of like we I was like, oh, they don't trust me not to steal everything here. I don't remember if they did, because I didn't bring a backpack to work, so I never had a check, so I don't really remember. I feel like, maybe you're right, maybe they did check the women's purses, but they were like really stupid about stealing or lost prevention as they called it, because I remember one time they sent this like woman from corporate from Lost Prevention in two Basically she just interviewed every employee in the store one by one, like called you into the office, and so they sat me down and they just basically asked me three questions. They were like, have you ever taken anything from the store, and you're just like no, And then she's like, even like something small, like a juice or a water or something. I remember her saying a juice or a water, and I was like no, and she's like okay, and you're sure, and you're just like yeah, sure, even though like I used to have to unload trucks when it was like degrees out and I probably had taken a nice tea whatever, but I just said no because I'm like a delinquent or whatever. And so they were like, Okay, you can go. And then they just did that to every single employee in the store, and then every person that was honest enough to be like, yeah, one time I took a water, they fired them. They fired all of the honest employees and just kept the generates like me. So one day where they cleared out every employee that they had who was foolishly honest enough to admit that they had taken a beverage or soda or whatever. So yeah, it was a really like just sketchy place to work. Yeah. Another thing I remember was you accept Jeffrey dollars there, man like jeff Rickley, not with the I remember Jeffrey dollars from when I was a kid. I don't really remember them when I was working there. Okay, we took them, and I probably worked there a little before you maybe I worked there in the late nineties and they were so widely counterfeited that they were like, we can't take these any market. People are just printing up these like giraffe money, and when people got like personal computers and like steps and printers, that was like no, no, no, we can't, we can't do this anymore. Yeah, but stealing was so so I worked at a really like it was in a parking lot next to a movie theater, and so the majority of people that came in were like teenagers who were sucking around before their movie started, and so there was just so much like Mayhem and theft, like theft really bad, Like I saw some crazy stuff in there. I remember like my manager and this manager Will and he was like obsessed with he like really got off on like catching people stealing, and he like made me like scope out these two guys. He thought they were stealing video games and I saw them. They were stealing video games. So I told them. I was like, yeah, man, I just saw them take two video games, and he was like okay, I'm second thought, like don't do anything because apparently those guys like got caught stealing at the other toys reus location and they shot out this Purity Guards tires and I was like, okay, cool, so I well, I'm making seven dollars an hour, so I'm not interested in getting shot. That sounds good. And then another time, Will was like watching these two kids in the r zone, which is where the video games were, and they had like a stack of video games which were in those like plastic like clamshells, you know. And he was like watching them, watching them, and they had like a stack of video games, and then they just took off. They took off out of the store. So Will went running after them, which you're not supposed to do. It says like all in the training videos, like reasonably get in the person's way if they're stealing, but like do not touch them, do not run after them. But he he loved it. He was like John Wayne. So he like ran after them, and one kid just bolted and one kid who had the video games ran to his car in the parking lot, and Will like went after him. And this is so crazy, but Will like opened the passenger door and got in the kids car like they were like struggling over the video games, and Will was like, give me the video games and the guy was like, get out of my car, and he was like, give me the video games. And so Will was kind of like hanging out of the car with the door open, the passenger side door open, and it was a parking lot, so there's like rows of cars and the spot directly behind this car was empty, but there were cars on either side. And the kid threw it into reverse and it went in that spot and opened the door on the hinge. Like it hit the other car and the door opened off the hinge and the kid was like going to drive off, and Will like threw it into park and pulled the keys out and we called nine one one, but the cops never came because we were such a like we had so many problems that like they just stopped coming for us. So like eventually we just like took the games and let this kid go with his door open or wrong way. Like there was so many instances like that where I was like, Wow, this is such a dangerous place to work for seven dollars an hour. That's insane. I feel like me and you had a similar maturity level when we worked there, because I remember I had a couple of friends and all my friends that my kids are us all went to different schools, and they were all kind of like the punks and outcasts in the area. And that's the only reason I was working there was just to like hang out. And I remember I was just going in the back room and getting like a shirt or something and having a like a garbage can and just playing basketball until they called the intercom like where are you guys? And then I remember I got fired because I got asked to play a show on our morning news. I was playing with this like singer songwriter from ours high school and they were like, you want to Margot Breslyn. I was like this total like you know, like really into punk and hardcore and she was a sort of more we talked about the podcast with j D Sampson because j D went to our high school. She was very like Tori Amos esque, like she was I feel like she was modeling herself a lot after Tory Amos. Yes, very Tori Amos esque, and um I would like made up something for work. I was like, yeah, I can't come in tomorrow like or I was like I'm sick. I don't remember that's for seventeen, seventeen or eighteen. And then I went on the news and played and then I remember going to work and then being like, Jonah, we saw you, like I'm live TV. Why didn't you just say you were doing this? And I was like, being like seventeen, I was like, I don't know, and they were like, and I had a couple of weeks left working. There's going to college, and they were like, it's okay, you don't have to come back anymore. I was like okay, and like I didn't put together till way later like that, why look, why why did I handle that? Why didn't it just like at that age, as like a male sometimes or I don't know if it's just as a male, but like as mail me at that time, like it was so hard for me to like express things or like do things in a logical way. I did everything so backwards for no reason. You could have said to them, I got this really great opportunity. Is there anyway I can just miss tomorrow morning? And I'm sure they didn't have that vocabulary or something and that, Yeah, that's interesting. Also a Saved by the Bell episode, remember when he says he has to celebrate a Jewish holiday and miss school and then they see him on TV at a baseball game, and by him, I mean Zach, Okay, go ahead, go ahead. Oh I was just gonna say, like, but I think I also went into like I think that job really turned me from like a goodie person to like a degenerate because I remember going I was in senior year, when I was in seventeen, and I had an interview at like one pm. It was the only time I ever cut class. I like cut class to go interview for this job. Like I was a good student. I remember my dean looked at me. I was like, yeah, I don't feel well, and he was just like, okay, I've never seen you before, so you must be like a good student then, so he was like, yeah, go ahead, and I like cut class to go interview for this job. I felt like that episode of The Simpsons when Bart goes into his first day of school and he's like, school will be fun, and then at the end of the day he's all like, just the life has been sucked out of him. Because like, by the end of that three year stint that I had at Toys r Us, it was like I had seen some ship, you know, And so yeah, over that three years, I probably transformed from a good employee to like, just give me the paycheck. You know, I did some research on Kids are Us and toys r us Um two thousand thirteen, eight days before Christmas, Toys rus did a eighty seven hours straight marathon. Were you there then, No, I would have been way later than probably two thousand and one, okay, talking about like a decade prior. God it. And this was also interesting. This store was originally considered a category killer, which sounds like a punk band or something like that sounds like what like hot Water music is or something like they killed out the whole category because like they didn't really have anyone competing with them because they also owned Fao Schwartz, Babies are Us, Toys are Us Express imaginarium. Like they had this whole change, I mean, this category killer, mean they what does that mean? A monopoly? Basically like a monopoly of this category, like no one can touch them. Isn't it so funny that that you can have a monopoly of anything and not still be in some sort of power, Like now it's just completely bankrupt. If you see a toys rush like one that's not a spirit Halloween, are you kidding? Yeah? But I really saw like the beginnings of the end of it, I think, at least financially because they had like no st Ouf one. But no, that was way that was way after my time. During my time was like I think I came in right at the end of the Furby craze, which was interesting because like I had this manager who just you know, everybody was like, where's a Furbie or this is pre Amazon. It was like are you getting them? They would like call every day and then like a box of Furbies would come in and my manager, Kevin would just buy them. We're not buy them or I guess he bought them or took him or whatever, and he would just sell them out of his car or whatever. So yeah, so you it sounds like you had a very negative experience working there. It was a really exploitative company. What do you mean by exploitative? You know, like after Christmas, you know, they bulked up their staff for Christmas obviously because that's their you know, big season, but then after like January February, they just let everybody go and they were like trying to just get by on this like bare bones skeleton crew. And so sometimes it would be like I mean there was a huge store, like it's a big toys and it was like four people working in it. You know. That's part of the reason we used to get robbed all the time, is because like nobody was watching, and so I would be doing like three different jobs at once for like you know, minimum wage, and I was unloading trucks in the middle of the summer. I got like injured. I saw all kinds of like crazy injuries and stuff like that. Yeah, it's just like it was just like that thing too. It was just like, man, this was really the happiest place on Earth when I was like six years old. Yeah. Yeah, I also wonder if it was run better when you were six years old. Part of it might have been being a kid and being there and like it being so magical. But also because I don't have that many memories of toys r us, but I have memories of us going to kids are us and it felt like pretty. But I don't know, as a kid, you don't know that the kids are Vanessa. I don't if you remember this, this is a east Gate. They had these huge games, like they had these like fifteen foot like interactive games like a Death the Nation like you know, they was like the kids to come in and spend as much time as there as possible, because probably the longer they're there, the more money their parents are spending. But yeah, I feel like after that era, it was just like get your ship and get out, you know. And during Christmas too, like you know, they just needed so much more help because you know, they were just moving so much merchandise at a time, so they had like these overnight crews that I don't know where they hire these people. Like I feel like they just pulled the bus up to like Rikers Island or something and we're like, do you want a job, And like we had all these people who were working, you know, in in fairness, like a horrible you know, like midnight to eight am shift where they were just locked in this store. But they were just robbing the place blind. Like it was. They were just taking PlayStations and like putting them like between the truck and the loading dock and then having a friend come outside and then come pick them up. You know. They were just like you know, taking PlayStations out there. And like not that I had any interest in ratting anybody out, but like you had to pretend like you didn't even see it because they were so scary, and I was just like, oh, yeah, I didn't see anything. Yeah, that was a good thing about working Kids or Us. No one had anything totally like nothing to take. Yeah, I mean I do remember one of the best outfits I got there was kind of like a tiny sailor outfit and it had like a lot of gold embellishments on it. Anyway, sounds right, sounds sounds like the kind of thing we would sell. Their cool to me, not cool to an adult. Anyway, go ahead and him. The only time I ever went into Kids or Us the Kids are Us section was because people would like, because you know how kids are Us, like the clothes, it kind of makes it like a little forest in there. Yes, for sure, people would grab a walkman or whatever it was, like an MP three player, and they would just like walk around Kids r US and the little jungle, open it and then like ditch the package and kids are Us. So the kids has employ used to just find Oh my gosh, she didn't discarded packages there all the time. Incredible. Were there any toys there that you particularly, I assume you've got some kind of discount and if you're honest enough to use it and not steal the thing, which it sounds like you were. Were there any toys that were like cool to buy for like your family or anything, Vanessa, great question, because I did at that time was when they were selling these like Simpsons figures that were really popular, and me, just being a big Simpsons nerd, I was buying all of them, and they had like they did it so smart, like they used to do, like okay, here's series two and it would be you know, Homer, Nelson, Smithers or whatever, and then like one place set and there was always one figure that was harder to get than the others, it was worth more than others. And so when those boxes came in, like me and my friends would just ramsacked them. Sometimes they didn't even hit the shelves. Sometimes there were toys r US exclusives that like you couldn't get in any other stores, and we would just like buy those, and like people would come in and they would be so because they would just send us a box of four and I would take one and my three other friends would take them, and then people would come in and be like, I don't understand, when are you going to get a box of these and we were like, yeah, I don't know, man, I don't know what to tell you. So those Simpsons figures were really popular. And also to I had friends who were Star Wars fans. I was Star Wars guy, but that was the other one too. When a box of those came in, it was like you knew, like, do not put these on the floor. You tell Carlos, and then Carlos will distribute them as a prom. It was a whole underground network at it. So if you ever wanted to buy Star Wars figures in the early two thousand's and were bewildered as to why Toys r Us never had enough, it's because the employees were generally just taking the meager shipments that came in. And what kind of discount are we talking about? What was it like ten or fifteen? It wasn't really a lot. Well, Dan, I got news for you before we move on. Toys Are Up is opening some pop up shops in Macy's across the US. I think around the holidays, how do you feel about the Toys r US macy pop up collab? I mean, like when Vanessa was talking about like, it's not like a destination for kids, right, Like, if they're popping up in Macy's, it's just to sell the hot toys. But why wouldn't you just get them online? So I don't really get the get the appeal of it right now? Have either of you ever been I know we all used to live in New York City, Dan, I believe you're still there. No where are you now? Dan? Los Angeles? The other New York you are? So am? I okay? Here we are, sorry, Jonah. They are on the East coast and no sunshine. It was ninety three today. Come to my pool. Come hot? Oh dope, a pool? All right? Where we cut? Let's see you at the pool come tomorrow. That's so nice. Um, I have to work, but we'll find. But my question is, when we were all living in New York, did you ever go to that Toys r US Times Square Toys r Us that had a full Ferris wheel Ferris wheel in it? Yeah, yeah, I've been there, Jonah? Did your brother? I don't think so. I mean, Dan could probe relate. I feel the only time I went there was to go to like shows that that venue that was always named something else. I had to escalator that went down in Times Square the Best Buy a theater now yeah Best Buy, Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been there a couple of times because there was also in that Simpson's collection. There were not only Toys r US exclusives, but there was one or maybe two sets that was a Times Square Toys r US exclusive. Like it was the only place in the country, you know, Like we would have a connection with somebody that worked there, and we'd be like, oh, if you get those in, you gotta give store for seventy two a call or whatever. And so me and my friends would like go there to buy the stats, either to keep or to sell or whatever. So yeah, but that was like one of those things where you look at it now, like how could you possibly sustain what it must cost to rent that huge, like multi level store. It was like an F A O. Sworts. It was such a fancy Toys r US. It was like a real unique like, especially after talking to you, Dan, doesn't seem like it represented other Toys r us is. But I remember going there, and I think it was actually maybe it might have been when I was like interning in New York and college, because it might have gone out of business. Anyways, nobody cares. But the point is, I remember the Ferris Wheel, and I remember there was like a Barbie area that was like a whole Barbie world. It was like the fanciest toy store I'd ever seen in my life, except then I moved. I guess after college when I moved to Chicago, and I went to the American Girl Dolls store just to see what it was all about. And man, I don't know if you guys have ever been there, but it's like really fancy. And in the basement there was an American Girl Dolls musical that you could see, like a play that you could see that was probably like thirty dollars a ticket or something. There's a restaurant. Anyways, I thought about auditioning for the musical as a joke, to be in it as a joke, and then when I went to do it, the hours were really intense. The American Girl is not a union shop, so yeah, yeah, right, right right, it's a fancier. It's tough to find an ironic job that isn't a lot of work, right, Yeah, that's the thing. As you go into it, it's kind of like Jonah, how Jonah, you will sometimes like kind of as a joke. Start watching a TV show and then you'll watch like the entire series. Yeah, yeah, I think. One of the most embarrassing ones, and this was a few years ago, was a little show called a Real Rob with Rob Schneider. Jonah watched the whole thing. And I remember I had some friends who did like a podcast where they would watch like all kinds of weird stuff, like you know, like every song, movie or something, and I was like, we should do a marathon we watch all the Real Rob and they were like, no, we draw that. We're not doing that. We cannot put ourselves through that. And I was like, oh, I did it already. Just I don't know why. I just I kind of was getting ready for you guys. Yeah. Yeah, Well it sounds like you both feel like you were sort of lightly delinquents when you worked at the various r uses, but both of you have turned into these stand up adults and you're both doing great and look at you now. Dan's got a pool. I tell you though, like my really like dark story from toys r Us. Yes, please, I don't know if this matters, but I'm just going to change the name to Tony because I feel like that would make me feel bad. So, like, I met a lot of like characters at that job, and a lot of them were friends that we used to mess around. And that's like part of the reason that you would even keep the job, because you can mess around with your friends. And but then you know, there's some real sketchy characters that we met and and sometimes we would like they would become like running characters that we would kind of goof on whatever. But my one friend, Mike, who I have stayed friends with, he called me maybe like maybe like a decade ago or something like that, and we used to work there together and he was like, dude, did you hear what happened to Tony? And I was like no. And Tony was this guy who worked with us. He worked in the bike section. He was like, I don't know, just kind of normal staten on guy. He had like a chin strap beard or whatever. And he would always be like, yo, Ozzy, can you give me ride home tonight? And I'd be like, yeah, okay, cool man, no problem. And he was like cool, yeah, my car's in the shop and I'd be like okay. Like his car was always something he was always needing to ride home, and I was like, yeah, okay, cool, and he was like cool, I get off at nine thirty, So I would just wait for you because like for some reason, he got off at nine thirty, but everybody else had to stay until the store was like clean, like ten ten thirties, So he would just like hang out and smoke outside and I was like okay, cool, and I would like drive him home. All the time we were friends with him. We all used to mess around. I have pictures with him at like my friend's engagement party, Like my friend who worked there got engaged. We were all hanging out. He was also dating a friend of mine who worked there, and like after he left the job, I was like asked her. I was like, hey, how's Tony doing? And she was like, oh, how's Tony doing? Tony's a fucking liar, is how Tony's doing? And I was like, whoa, what happened? And she's like, yeah, well we broke up. And did you know that he was sixteen the whole time? And I was like no, I didn't realize that. But then it all kind of like clicked in. I was like, yeah, that makes sense why he had to leave at nine thirty because he was a miner. Miners can't work past nine, that makes sense. I was like, wow, he was just like one of those stat and iland like scammers. Okay. But then like when my friend called me, he was like, have you seen what happened to Tony? And I was like no. He's like, go look on the New York Post dot com and I like looked and there was a picture of Tony in handcuffs because he had been arrested. He was working at a building in Manhattan. He was like a janitor or something, and he murdered one of the housekeepers and like stuffed her in an elevator shaft. And I was like, and he was like convicted and he did he's like doing like twenty five to life on it, and I was like, holy sh it, Like I used to give this guy a riot home all the time, and that was like a weird. Like when I saw that, I was just like, dude, I was just in way over my head in terms of like like you're always just working there and you're like, yeah, this is not a great place to work, but whatever. But I was like that kind of like just solidified for me. I was like I was with like sketchy criminals that job, and I'm just all like, oh, the new Simpsons figure escaped, And you know, I was just so naive to it. But like in hindsight, that was just like such a sketchy place to work, like talk about the death of your childhood, right, I was like, jeez, man, that is crazy. Wait, can I ask a timeline question? When did you talk to the woman who was like his ex girlfriend? Oh, you know, he worked at the store and then I don't remember if he got like laid off or something like that, but like shortly after he left, so like two thousand and four or three or something like that, I ran into that friend and I was like, how is Tony? And that's when she told me that he was underage and I was like wow. And then like fast forward like a decade later and he ended up involved in this like heinous thing. It was just so crazy, and I was like, wow, like what a sketchy place to have work. Not to bring it into like the darkest possible place. No, no, No, that just must have been just kind of like the icing on the very Like you already had such a bad feeling about your experience there. It feels like and just to like here that like, oh yeah, this guy that you drove home all the time happened to be like turned out to be a murderer. Like like it's just so funny because like me and my friend Mike, like every once in a while when we talk on the phone, you know, we'll be like, oh yeah, we would always be like remember when they made us unload that truck and like somebody got hurt, you know, like something that was like we can like laugh at it now, like look back and laugh at it. But that's like one thing where we were just like, okay, parties over, this is not fun to no more reminiscing. Yeah, just a really weird place. I don't imagine that went down at Kids r Ust very often I remember anything like that. I remember just a lot of like dunking shirts into garbage cans and yeah, you must have had to make do I'm thinking with what you had, because like in Toys r Us, if something was opened, it became you know, like property of the warehouse, like oh take it off the shelf, somebody open this, So like we would have all kinds of nerve guns back there, but you like just had sure you. You had to like really work I had to really use our imaginations, really work hard. We did have I don't know if you had a years. We had a layway room where we would just keep stuff on layaway, like a huge room. The stores like do that anymore? I don't say on the outside of toys dress it used to say like layaway on this bike or whatever. I don't even think stores do lay away anymore. Do they lay away is like when you pay a little at a time, right, that's like what they do that. Not to brag, but they do that with home shopping is easy pay like QBC does easy pay, so probably similar idea. But I was probably doing some layoups with a shirt in that layaway room for sure. Yeah. See, we had we had a good That's one. That's one area where I think we had up on you because like our time wasting stuff back in the warehouse was so you know, like we had every nerve gun. Yeah, yeah, you had way cooler stuff. I had like kids shoes and like a vest or something. We had like skateboards. They were trying to sell those little ramps for a while, so like once we got the ramps in the back, that was it man like we like really like it was like it got dangerous, like once they gave us bikes and ramps, you know in the in the warehouse. Yeah, well, Dan, if it makes you feel better, For all we know, we've all worked with people who later went on to become murderers. We just haven't read the articles yet, right or or they will they are future murderers. So you know, sorry to bring it into such a bad place when we put it, will pull it back to like a more arable area and say, ask you guys, like what was the worst place that you guys ever worked as as teens. I had a lot of jobs. I would say my worst job and shortest lived job was working at my dining hall my freshman year of college with all these kind of surly dishwashers and stuff and me being like eighteen and not understanding the system and putting dirty dishes where the cleans ones were and getting yelled at at and like just like you worked at the dining hall at the college that you went to. Yeah, it was some kind of like financial aid set up where like I would work there and then I would get some kind of financial aid. But it really, really it never clicked and I wasn't good at it, and I remember quitting the job and I remember calling this guy who's like an alright, this guy was probably like twenty one and I was like eighteen. I was I was like, yeah, I just I'm not doing this anymore. And he was like, well, if you don't show up to work, you're gonna get one strike, and if you get three strikes, you can never work in the dining hall again. And I was like, yeah, I don't want to ever, Like I don't care about your like three start program by And I don't remember actually affecting my financial aid. Maybe they just told you that, but I remember just you know, filling these huge tubs and maynnaise and just being really kind of gross and like sucked, like your hands just had that like even when you went home, had that like prune feeling to it, like all the time. I hated Washington, Vanessa, what about Well, I feel like a real diva for saying that reminded me of a story for when I was a hostess right after college, and I had a similar thing to what Well. First of all, I just remember we didn't really have a break, So I remember taking the they were like, you can't touch the bread, like take the uneaten bread from the tables directly to the kitchen, and I would take some of it and like put it in my sleeve and then I would go to the bathroom and eat it like really quickly in the stall, which there's nothing more disgusting than eating in a bathroom. We purposely put it in my show because we thought it was really funny that the Bethang character takes her skinny pop into the bathroom to eat. Anyway, I don't know if you saw that episode, but the point is I remember just always being so hungry whatever, and I being a hostess is very cushy compared to being a dishwasher abby. But I remember once I was kind of sick, and I remember like going home and then calling them and being like, hey, I'm sick. I can't come in. And I remember this one guy, this manager, he was like Okay, he was like, I'm so sorry you aren't feeling well. You can either send a doctor's note from your doctor that says you're sick, or you cannot work here. Anyway. It was like basically like that. Yeah, And I remember being like also, like I'm the younger child. I'm a girl. I had cancer. People were so nice to me growing up. Okay, it was the first time an employer ever was like, you know, shape up or ship out kind of thing. And I remember being like this fucking guy, like I was so pissed at him. I would I couldn't believe his like audacity to like make me do my job. But so I remembered. I did go into work, but I was like so annoyed, like I was like, oh, my little Like I first sure thought he would be like feel better soon, but he was like give us a doctor's note or not, you know, And did you remember to like sort of pre cell phone having a job where like when Toys r Us had, you know, a shift that they needed to cover, they would call my house, like you know, my parents house, and they'd be like, hey, this is Tim from Toys Russ Dan there, and I'd be like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Like just that that's such a funny concept to me because I feel like now they probably just text you, right, yeah, I haven't clearly had a retail so much more easily and they can say like we texted you, you didn't get backwards Yeah, that was totally a thing of being like, I'm when you saw we did have the call right D and you saw twys Rust come up, it was like no, no, no, no, no, nobody picked that up. Nobody picked that up. Yeah, So I am grateful for that, at least that they didn't have the power to just harass me at all times on my text message. You know. Yeah, probably also too, it was probably harder to lie than because say you're like, oh, yeah, I'm not going to work, I can't, I don't feel well, and they're like, well, you just posted on your Instagram story that you're at six Flags Great Adventure. Totally right, Yes, I am, because there is a nurse here that I like. I don't want to brag, but I think I pioneered that move by going on the Morning. I was going to say, and I was going to say, back then, the only way that you could get caught is literally by going on TV. That was there was no social media. You had to literally be on TV. And Jonah did. Its So good for you, Jonah. I'm like, now that I'm thinking about it, just super impressed with the audacity to think that you could get away with it. Just wearing a T shirt on on camera that says I'm supposed to be at work or something like that, like just you know, a T shirt I was wearing by the way I was wearing. And this is also so nineties. One of those dare shirts stare to stay UF Drugs and Alcohol shirts that I got it like a thrift shop. My friend Pete wore that every day. He wore it every day. It reeked. He never washed it. He would just spray it with fabreeze and it's reek. Yeah, that was a very nineties shirt to wear. Yes, well with that, I dare us to take a commercial break and we'll be right back with Dan Azzie. And we're back now. Dan, We've got a pretty fun game to play with you right now. This game is called Legit Moan or Unnecessary Grown. Legit Moan Necessary Grow. Basically, we take inspiration from this column that used to be in the local Cleveland paper, the Cleveland Plaine Dealer, where they used to have this column called Monday Moaning where people would write in with their complaints. And we kind of are going to go through three complaints, no kind of about it, and we're gonna say whether we think they're a legit moan, meaning like this is a legitimate complaint or an unnecessary groan. And honestly, these are from about ten years ago. These are like the ten year we're using the prompts from ten years These are from the archives, and we by we, Vanessa means I spend a bunch of time like going through the archives and picking out some of the funniest ones. Yeah, what I was gonna say is we made fun of them when we were kids. Right. The first one is incredibly short. It's one sentence, Dan, I want to get your thoughts on this. If this is a valid complaint, it's just we should rename our country to the un United States of America. That was Jonah's and spiration for starting the band United Nations. This is from Soland, Ohio, two thousand eleven. Someone had this thought, wrote a letter, sent it into the paper. What do you think? Do you think this person has a legit point? Isn't it so funny that newspaper like columns that you could write into were just basically like the original Twitter? Totally? Yes, this is just a thought that somebody would tweet and get like twelve likes for it. Recall it the Ununited States of America. Don't you mean the like, what are you talking about? I'm gonna say for anything, this is a growner okay, unnecessarily grown from Dan Vanessa, what are your thoughts in the Ununited States? Well, I think this person should know that on United States sounds very stupid. I could see that. It's like, oh, can I have the onion United? Yeah, I don't know that. I would say it was legit if they said this, But my suggestion would be they should just call it the States of America because it's not United. To say ununited feels like the Disunited State Eights of America. To your point, Dan, like, this does feel like an early Twitter. And do you think that what happened was this person wrote in they should change to the Ununited States of America, and then they're going to Miles Market, they're going to the soul In movie Theater, they're going to their local sol In places and they're carrying their plane dealer around and they're going look at what I wrote, don't you think? Yeah, that's that's part of the original Twitter as you just had to show it to people from person guess who wrote this me? Yeah, that person ended up being famous director of Fahrenheit nine eleven Michael Maher So, I would call this an unnecessary grown as well, because I think this person is trying to be facetious, but it's really they could do better. This was two thousand and eleven, I believe. So, yeah one was this like Occupy Wall Street era, Like it was like Obama era, right, yeah, Obama was oh eight, I think, Yeah, I feel like this is a real I'm just surprised because this feels like a real George Bush era tweet. Yeah, I agree, I hear you. This guy's like I've been pitching this that the Cleveland Plane Dealer for seven years. Now, I'm gonna get it in there. It's a good line on United States. It will be in the Cleveland Plane Dealer, mark my words. Yeah. So I think I sort of understand. You know, this person is talking about polarization, you know all of this stuff. I get it. These are issues that we're still dealing with today. But I just feel like you got to provide a little more back up on what exactly you're saying. To me, it's just the phrase on United States. It just isn't enough on its own. Totally. I agree with an essay. It's not a pun, right, it's not clever. Un United States has no panash to it, you know, like you wouldn't even see it on a bumper sticker and be like, yeah, that guy, that bumper sticker makes a good point. It's just nothing. Can you imagine calling a band Ununited Nations doesn't sound That's how you should have got around the lawsuits. It really does sound like food. Yeah, we get it on you Nations. So does this person think they're going to turn on the news and it's going to be like and in other news like Congress is thinking of changing the name of the United States to the Ununited States. It sounds like a joke that Norm McDonald would have done because he knew it would get no reaction at all. Right, right, right, absolutely, Maybe this person just stick to their day job. Okay, I'm going to read the next one. Here goes. I'd like to complain about people coming to our neighborhood who litter by throwing trash on the streets as they drive or walk by. They also litter with their mouths by using foul language in everyday conversations. It is a loud, annoying, and irritating for people to have to hear potty mouse while driving or walking in the neighborhood. This is from someone from Cleveland Heights, Ohio. Dan, what do you think, Well, I was moaning in the first half. I think, you know, like, yeah, people throwing stuff out of cars, that's legitimate cause of moan. And then once he started getting into the noise pollution of what it sounds like people yelling obscenities out of cars as they pass by. Is that legitimate? Well, this person said they also litter with their mouths by using foul language in everyday conversation. Okay, see, that's just you know, you gotta just thicken your skin out there. But then they say it is loud, annoying and irritating for people to have to hear potty mouse. Not a great term for this person to use when they're trying to make a serious point while driving or walking in the neighborhood. So I think they're referring to these same people. It seems like these people are coming into the neighborhood and throwing their treasure everywhere. But then maybe other people are having everyday conversations like they're just going for a walk maybe it's the same people. There's probably some overlap and they're just having everyday conversations. But they're kind of going like, can you believe that ship the whole place? What are y'all doing today? You wanna do some swearing? No, no, no, not here. We drive over to Cleveland Heights when we want to do our swearing, well, we want to use our body mouth. We drive up there just to do it. Like, I love that the person's making like it's a problem specific to their zip code, Like people are coming into our area just to do their ways, And I want to say, you know, sort of the copy ed enemies. He's a little redundant about people who litter by throwing trash on the street, Like isn't that just the definition of like? And I don't like feeling roped, Like I feel like that that person throughout that first line about litter to get everybody on their side where you're like, this is a problem. I don't want litter. And then they're like, also they're doing the littering of the mind when you think about it with their swear words, and you're like, man, no, no, I'm not good. Yeah, I agree, I go if you're trying to make this profound point. Don't use the term potty mouse. Sure, I don't mind potty mouth. One time on The Simpsons they said commode mouth, and I still think it's like one of the funniest phrases I've ever heard. I don't mind that so much. So I'm going to give this a half moan half grown if that. Yeah, I hear that. Jonah, what about you? Okay, Yeah, I sort of agree with Dan. I think it's it's a leap to go from littering trash to policing the way people speak. Because the person was like, this is my only chance at the Cleveland plane dealer, and I have two complaints. Yeah, I like stayed up all night thinking about how they could get them into one. You know. Yeah, I'm gonna go with a necessary grown. I just feel like it's just for me and I can't support this one. Vanessa, what about you? Yeah, I think I'm going to go with unnecessary grown. To your point, Jonah saying people litter by throwing trash on the streets, it's a little bit DSW shoe Warehouse, which I don't know if you remember that chain designer shoe warehouse, shoe wear house, okay, yeah, redundant. Also to try and segue into the way people talk. It's also so unclear what's going on here. It's like I really was like, you, guys, I was really on this person's side when I was like, oh, that's terrible that people are like coming into this person's neighborhood. They're throwing trash as they drive or walk by. But it seems like now he's pivoting to or he or she or they are pivoting to people's language and saying that that's litter too. It's like, pick a point and go with it. And if it's the second point, I'm not on your side. So got it? All right? Just using every problem that they possibly have. And I'm like, and I'm tired of the housing market being littered with real estate developers. All right, pretty much in agreement on that one. Our final one. This one's a bit lengthy, but um get ready, get ready. All those who complain about people not giving or leaving tips should realize that no one is obligated to give you anything but to pay for a meal they ordered. If people are able to give a tip, they will if they're able to and thought the service you rendered them was good. You should be thankful that the management of the restaurant or places that tip are giving you an opportunity to make some money working for them, regardless of how little it may be. Without the customers, you wouldn't be working there because the restaurant will be out of business. To stop your complaining and be thankful for what you have. Cleveland Heights, Ohio again. Okay, so talking about this being like proto Twitter. Every so often somebody will hop onto Twitter. I don't know why, but they will tweet something to this effect, like I think I tweet ten and more if the service is good, but if not, maybe I'll give note. And there are probably infinite reasons that Twitter is awful. But the one thing that's good about it is that this person will immediately get ethered by the entire internet. Everybody that's worked a service industry job just tearing this person down because this is a growner. This is a tip people. It's especially now, so yeah, a big, big grown on this for me. Yeah. Can you imagine this person seeing one of those like flip screens now where it's like it's turned over everywhere you shop, and this person is probably losing their minds. What do you mean? Like, I feel like, now there's so many more opportunities to tip, so many different ways to tip. Tipping is so much more prolem. I feel like when you get a coffee and they turn that screen over, yeah, yeah, yeah, this person is in hell. Yeah, I mean this person fully is like when that screen gets slipped as like yes, yeah, so yeah. This person I think doesn't exactly understand like the business structure. You know, I think there's a lot of kind of misinformation confusion here. But I think the sentiment itself is not the best. And yeah, I gotta say, this is a grown and it's it's very very elited, very like yeah, like you should be so lucky, you know. It's just very that this restaurant. Yeah, I don't like the tone. I don't like the tone. Vanessa, what about you? I agree this is totally a grown This person so clearly doesn't understand how this industry works, because it's like, these servers are making so little money. Part of the reason that they're doing their job is because of tips. They're not like, Wow, I can't wait to get my great serving salary and then if I get any tips on top of that, it's gravy. It's like, that's not how it works. The tips are part of the whole thing. And to be like, you're so lucky that this restaurant is employing you and without customers. It feels like this person has been through maybe some kind of specific situation where they had a really bad experience with the server and they decided not to tip, and then they were shaping something's going on with this person. But for them to write a blanket statement like don't complain about people not it's not even This person is not even saying don't complain about the size of your tip, which I still would call it grown, but they're saying, don't complain about people not leaving tips and mentions meals so obviously talking about restaurants, Yeah, people would definitely are in the right when they complain with someone left no tip. That's insane. It feels like a Marco pride for this person, like I'm gonna like set the system. Yeah. Isn't it funny how all three of these people are definitely dead Now, there's no way that these three people are still walking around with this kind of like worldview. Be having a tough time yeah. I mean. Something that comes up very often in this segment is the personality type that writes into this col seems very specific for the most part. I mean like old people, too much time on their hand, like ornerary old people just writing in about how you know, writing a tip on a receipt is littering and I hate it. It's littering up the receipt with all that tip. Maybe those two are friends, the last two people are friends. It's pretty crazy. And look, I guess these are all pretty much groans except for half of the middle one. What have you got covered? That's like a legit? One time all three of them were legit. Yeah, it happens very rarely, but it does happen. Trying to think of one, I can't think of a single one. Thanks for giving me the growners. I love it, Groners of course. Well, Dan, where can people find you online? Can you talk a little bit about that? The paperback edition to sell out? Very exciting? What's going on with that? You can catch me in the Cleveland Plane Dealer advice column. I'm there, I have a byeline there, Dan. Ozzie dot com is a good place. Yeah, I have like this sellout paperback coming out and it's god new material and it Jena, there's a big Caven interview. I talked to all surviving members of Caven about their Wild R c A Records stint with antenna. Yes of course. So that's one for the three people listening that are interested in the history of Caven. And there's a dashboard confessional one that's much more universal, I feel. Yeah, so this was just kind of stuff that didn't make the original. You have a little more space to kind of put stuff in. Yeah, it was like some some Q and A s that I either did that it was either cutting room floor stuff or I had like or I did specifically for the book. And also Jonah, I have to send you one. I'm hopefully announcing it like Monday. But I made like a cover's record of like songs from the book and like Laura Stevenson covered this. She covered like my favorite Green Day song she and it's beautiful. There's no guitars on it. It's like a him if the two people that I'm talking to once, I'll mail you a copy. But it rocks. It's great to me. You're address and all, and I'll wow, that's awesome. I love that song she that's from the first Is that from from Dukie Ducky. Yeah, Laura like covered it and it's like the most elegant, graceful green day you've ever heard. And she had this version and then she had like acoustic guitar, and like last minute just scrapped the acoustic guitar, so it's almost like acapella. It's like beautiful and I'm just like, and there's like eight other tracks on it too, but I'm just like really excited relieved to be putting those out soon because they're sitting downstairs, all of them. Whoa, Oh my gosh. Yeah. Check out sell check out Dan's online, check out his merch Yeah. That was so much fun, you guys. Thanks so much to Dan for joining us, to everyone for listening. If you enjoyed this pea subscribe to the podcast and given for next week's episode, how did We Get Weird? Well, we will discuss more stories from our childhood, like working at toys, r US kids are us or any of the rs is be honest,

How Did We Get Weird with Vanessa Bayer and Jonah Bayer

Before sibling duo Vanessa Bayer and Jonah Bayer took the comedy, music and general world by storm,  
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