How Did We Get Weird with Vanessa Bayer and Jonah BayerHow Did We Get Weird with Vanessa Bayer and Jonah Bayer

Remember PBS Cover to Cover? (with Kyle Kinane)

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Published Apr 15, 2024, 10:00 AM

How Did We Get Weird with Vanessa Bayer and Jonah Bayer

Before sibling duo Vanessa Bayer and Jonah Bayer took the comedy, music and general world by storm, they were just some lil weirdo kids. Joined by exc… 
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This week on the podcast, Vanessa and Jonah are joined by hilarious comedian and new friend, Kyle Kinane. Jonah tests out some of his pun-centric stand-up material, Kyle talks about his love of horror movies and is there anything scarier than running into a sweaty guy in a mosh pit? We also get into Kyle's topic, the PBS educational show Cover to Cover and how it informed his own forays into creative expression the same way that "Kids In The Hall" informed his discovery of comedy. We also play a round of CHANGE.DORK where we debate if microwaves should have a mute button, if society should stop judging people who eat cupcakes for breakfast and the underrated benefits of vanilla frosties and cheese pizza. Don't forget to pick up Kyle's new Bobcat Goldthwait-directed stand-up hour DIRT NAP HERE. It's the dreamsicle of comedy specials! 

Hi. I'm Vanessa Beyer and this is my brother Jonah.

We're two siblings who love to talk about our childhood and nostalgia and how it shape us into the people we are today.

Who are so excited for today's guests that we couldn't take a nap if we tried.

Welcome to how did we get weird?

Jonah, I know we're both very excited for our guests today, and in honor of him, since he is a stand up comedian, I thought we could talk about the time that you did stand up once.

I did do it once. Yeah, I've seen you do stand up many times over the years. I did it once.

I don't know.

They had us some kind of stand up night at Saint Vitas, and I had some friends who are doing it.

Do we want to explain for the audience what Saint Vitas is. It's not generally a stand up club.

No, I'm sure, no, kle have you you performed there? You seem like the kind of guy that would have performed. I did perform at Saint Vitas. I think my friend dan Ozzy, I think may have helped set up that show.

Okay, this is a dan Ozzie friendly group. We love Dan Azzie.

Oh okay, all right, yeah, yes, yes, shout out to Dan.

But yeah, I don't know if Dan was there, but Brendan from the band Incendiary was doing stand up comedy and he kind of I don't know he was involved. I can't remember. Anyways, I ended up doing it. Vanessa ended up coming. There weren't a ton of people there, but I felt like it was a good crowd. It was a good crowd, and I wanted to maybe tell a couple of my jokes really quick in front of two professional comedians.

I would love it.

You know, it's so funny, is I didn't. I resisted doing this for so long because I was like, maybe if I come up with a special one day, I won't want to use the jokes on the podcast.

That's so funny. I didn't know that.

Yeah, but I'm forty four. I've only done comedy once. It was like ten years ago, so I think it's probably safe. But these this is the biggest audience all of it, So.

This might be we might get so much feedback from the audience that they love these jokes so much it might propel you to do a special.

What if Netflix sees this and they're like, give him an hour. But you can't use those jokes because we heard them all. Yeah, now that was that was the cream of the crop right there.

I know.

That's what I'm kind nervous about. But we'll see, we'll see. They're kind of music related, cause so I think these might be up here.

I haven't been. I just love where it.

I just love wearing a world like, yeah, the guy from the band in send the area was doing some standard.

Yes, so I'll tell three jokes. He's the only three I remember.

Okay, So my first joke, one of them was I was like, so it was in the studio recording with my band recently. But now, so you probably don't know what a click track is. A click track, it's something that bands sometimes record with. It's like a metronome in your ear. So you played to time, okay, okay. And so we were talking about in the studio and they had an egg shaker, like a shaker shape like an egg kind of a percussion instrument, and I was we're talking about using a click track. I was like, or we could use this egg shaker and use a cluck track. Okay, okay, Yeah, that's funny.

Not a lot of laughs on that one, but they get better musical comedy.

This is Fred Armison's big thing too, write that he does comedy for your musicians.

It's, you know, kind of insidery.

It's it's my wheelhouse.

Okay, yeah, let's say how the next one lands? Yeah, this is These are all true stories too. I was also recording during the session. Were recording at some guy's house. It was a converted house into a studio and I was playing guitar in the bathroom and I was playing I was trying to get my guitar tone, and then I stepped into the shower. I was like, all, I could stand here if you guys want a cleaner tone.

Yes, I feel like these were received well in the moment.

Yeah yeah, they've all got quite a bit of lead.

Up to that.

Yeah yeah, Okay, this last one I think is my best joke, but it has even more lead up, so maybe the most disappointing.

No.

We were talking to someone and they were saying how this person they knew had all this money because their dad invented the orange netting they use like oranges and nectarines at the grocery store. And I guess he licensed this technology to construction companies. They used them with cranes or something, and so his dad had figured this out and that's why this person is so much money as kid. And then I was like, oh, wow, so it sounds like they have a sit trust fund.

Yes, I thought you were going to go with a net worth. Oh yeah, that would have been good to you could do them both, right.

I mean, if you're open, if you're open to punch up, you know, I don't want to just go give a notes right away.

I just mentioned well, I.

Was actually expecting a maybe one laugh from one of you at.

The one.

I was.

I was la, I was sort of it's sort of like you have crafted your lives around this art form and then it's like someone doing a really bad job of it and being like, why do you guys think I'm great at this?

Well, I'm not as good at stand up as Kyle. I'm not nearly the stand up that Kyle is, but I feel I have a sense for comedy.

And I well, I was here and there.

Yeah, yeah, okay, I'll take it.

I'll take it like track.

Yeah, I was going to ask Kyle. I'm trying to think of Kyle you're really a pro at this. Do you have any other punch ups for trying to think of? With the second?

I think if we're going with play on words, cluck track something that foul something you know? Yeah, sorry, that was a pretty foul joke. See, and then you get on when you keep get irritating people, you can bully them into relenting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, if that's what you want to go for, if you really want to.

Well, another move that I do that's kind of related to what you're saying, Kyle, is whether any kind of form of stand up or any kind of comedy I'm doing live. I find that if you just stare at the audience for a long time kind of to your point, they will eventually laugh, just out of discomfort sort of.

But if you have the fortitude to just, yes, let a room of people be uncomfortable with your own presence, Yeah, and that's yeah, it's pretty sure fire away to handle things.

Yeah, that's probably my number one comedy skill.

Or you get a bottle thrown at you sometimes.

Yeah, fifty fifty.

Let's give a proper intro in case you haven't figured it out yet. Our guest today is comedian. He's also a punk rock enthusiasts such as myself, and his latest special, Dirt Nap is available.

Now you may have already guessed it. It's Kyle Kanane. Hey, Kyle, Hey, all right, here we go.

Let's forget that first part ever happened?

Maybe no way. I think it was a great way to start it.

Yeah, it just proves to Kyle that everybody here has chops.

Yes, has comedy chops.

Yeah, we're in the same wheelhouse.

Yeah.

I actually did for Dan Ozzie.

Speaking of Dan Ozzie when he was at Noisy, I had a column called Up the Puns where I just did like musical puns.

This is all coming together now, the scope is opening. I see the whole picture now.

So yeah, picture, this is really there's a lot of crossover between you two. I think there really is. Man As you alone, that's you know, that's been a friend of Jonas for years.

Yeah.

Dan had me a Jewish show way back. He was He's like, do you under stand up on this show I'm putting together. I know him when he was a jaded punk hulk. Yes, back when remember when Twitter was moderately fun. He was back in those days when people made jokes. Was that kind of thing? And he was he put on a show with the was Brendan Kelly and all friends? I knew, I knew Brendan. Yeah, I didn't know, but so I did stand up on the on the Acoustic punk Rock Show because a lot of punk rock guys play acoustic now because it's hard to get band members with kids.

Yeah, or did you know that?

You guys, you guys probably know so many of the same people.

We might Vanessa, We'll talk to you later anyway, Jon want to just start going to shows? What was your favorite?

Well, that's actually you know, it's funny because you know you grew up in Addison, Illinois?

Is that is that true? Yeah?

And so what?

Yeah?

Were you going to shows as a kid in Chicago or where were you?

I asked where is Addison in relation to Chicago? Because I lived in Chicago for several years and I feel like Addison's.

That it is not a destination for anybody. It is. It is where you park families, if you work at the airport.

Uh, gotcha, Okay. It's like if you took Lake Street twenty miles.

Straight, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.

Elmhurst is the tony suburb. May have found yourself an Elmhurst to go to the maybe perhaps the the Museum of Lapidary Art.

Wow, got it? And the polished rocks as.

Don't got that though we don't have a part.

Yeah, yeah, I was.

I was going to, like, you know, all the All Ages shows. I was going to Fireside in Metro and yep, you know, pretty much wherever they were having shows.

So I loved it.

Yeah, first, that was one of the things I That was one of the things I submitted for Nostalgia.

I know, I know that Or were you.

So nuanced into like mentioning it and I just blew the cover?

No, no, you know what it's like. I'm trying not to turn this into like a punk rock podcast. I mean, I want I like talking about we just said on Brian Baker and so we're talking about all this stuff and so.

We've been talking about music a lot, which I.

But turning it into turned out a punk and I'm trying.

To actually speaking of the crossover between music and comedy. Have you ever been to the empty bottle? Because I've got a pretty great empty bottle joke.

Oh all right, now, see this is just boy, let's just do this every week.

Okay, get ready?

All right?

Jonah was in this kind of punk band that was playing at the Empty Bottle once when I was living in Chicago, and I opened for the band, doing kind of I would say. I would say it was like, not to flatter myself, it wasn't as good as this, but it was kind of Neil Hamburg esque stand up, not my standard stuff.

He stared at the audience until they laughed.

Exactly staring at the audience and kind of this audience that was really ready to rage. And I thought, but I'm going to tell you guys a bunch of dumb jokes first before you can. And I think I led off with empty bottle more like empty club.

There weren't a lot of people there. I get that. That's why it worked. Yeah, Yeah, that's why the joke.

That's why it worked. That's why I worked. Do you remember any of my other jokes, specifically from the Empty Bottle. I don't really remember any of the other ones.

I just remember about how like people need to get to bed early so they can like collect unemployment or something.

Right, there was a lot of insults to the audience, about them collecting.

On Oh I love I love doing stand up for punk rock people that aren't necessarily on board, because like that, the most punk rock thing is laughing at yourself. Like nothing says I don't care about the world by spending three hours on your mohawk.

Yeah, that's a great one.

Nothing says I don't give a shit. Like that craft Project jacket you're wearing.

Clearly you've ever.

Gotten I've never gotten booed more than when I've opened for Jonahs bands.

It's particularly in Chicago.

I know. I'm trying to wonder if I was at any of these shows.

Well, Ky, like what kind of stuff were you into comedy as a kid, or like what kind of stuff were you into kind of when you were growing up.

I realized this.

That my sister and I we got we got cable at a very early age, like all the channels at like just deck, go for it. What do you want to watch Friday thirteenth, get it, get in there, Wow, go lock yourselves in the basement at night.

Go nuts.

So I saw all the scary movies and all the comedy that I didn't I wasn't conscious of it, but we were like really gravitated towards all the like black comedians that were on. So my sister and I were just doing a lot of like Sindbad and Tommy Davidson bits, yeah, back and forth, just to like just a five and a seven year old talking about how black guys aren't scared of Freddy Krueger, just.

Doing they were just to make car like.

That was the funniest thing we've ever seen, was Tommy Davidson talking about Freddy Krueger. So we would just do that or Sindbad, I mean Sinbad, Sindbad going to McDonald's. Still that's still classic. I still love that. That's still funny to me. So, yeah, we that was like the comedy we wound up watching. I never watched, Oh I feel bad.

I didn't.

I never was out. I was always out on Saturday night. So I never watched Saraiy Live. Grown up.

Yeah, yeah, So all the all.

The kids that would like on Monday mornings were talking about Sarahn Live, and we were always out just being neighborhood Cretans like Roman.

Yeah, I was gonna ask it's at a young age. See the reason that I think I saw so much SNL as a kid is because I couldn't drive yet and my friends and I would hang out.

I'm impressed that.

You were out what we're what are we doing on Saturday night with the buds?

It was so I think junior high or like when you kind of start watching it.

I don't know what.

I honestly try to think, like what was I doing on Saturday nights? And we were just not like riding bikes or skateboarding or just being Christian hooligans. Nothing nothing, nothing true right, nobody, nothing true, trouble maker. But I'd really like we just were out running around being goofs on Saturdays. So I never was home watching TV on Saturday nights or so good or kind of having a cable. I was watching terrible movies, like you know, yeah b movies or horror movies or something.

So I was watching when you were a little older, like you know, I would I've talked about on the podcast all the kind of punks in my area would go to the dunkin Donuts and hang out in the parking lot, yeah, and just talk about screeching wheel or whatever.

Like were you were you doing that kind of stuff?

Where were you?

Where was your hangout spot?

Where was.

It was usually uh Rob's house. Uh Rob didn't have a lot of parental supervisions, so we're usually over there, and it was a lot of uh I don't know. He got like prescribed pills early on, like before you knew people everybody was on pills. We would like take his pills and stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, like like we'd take ambient and then just try to outrun it, you know, like give one person. One person would take the ambien and then we just all sit around and watch what happened to him.

Yeah, gotcha.

Sadly I did that with some friends like in my thirty like way too old to be doing that, and.

Like, oh yeah, we're still like nineteen twenty. It's still like all these romantic I didn't ge drunk high school. I didn't do any drugs in high school, and I was but I was going to all ages shows every every weekend. It's just either somebody at a car or I could start getting access to it, but otherwise we'd go there or we just you know, you'd buy forties and sit at the mall parking lot and you'd have five people with skateboards. One guy could kick flip and then we'd all just sit there and drink beer and watch that guy do kickflips yep, right right right, which sounds so unglamorous, but I'd look back on it so fondly.

Yeah.

Yeah, like I don't think I've laughed harder in my life since then.

Yeah, sadly felt like kind of a simpler time.

It was.

It took so little to I don't know.

I don't yeah, without sounding like the oldest man in the universe, I don't want to like, oh, these dang phones, but there really was like, all right, I got my self laminated card of phone numbers in my wallets, which was just scotch tape around a piece of paper with your six friends, and then you'd all meet like figure out what you were doing, and just sit there and just be dipshits. And I really appreciated the dip shitt reviews.

Yeah, yeah, I did too. I just want to say that on my Saturday nights, we would sometimes watch SNL and then we would watch this movie April Fools. Do you remember that movie. It was like a scary movie. I bet you got it on cable. Yes, it was a scary movie about April Fools, but it was like not that scary, but it was about as scary as we could get. And this is a spoiler alert for our listeners who haven't seen it. You don't if you haven't seen it came out I think in the like early eighties, you you've really had a lot of time to watch it by now, so I feel okay saying this, But it was basically like these these young adults go to like this house and people keep getting like murdered in these kind of like gruesome ways, and then at the end you find out it was an April Fool's joke and everyone's alive. So that's kind of as scary as we could go. But we were still really scared at the end of it. So then we'd watch the incredible Mister Limpet after it. This was like a pattern, like we would do this multiple It's funny. I mean, you know how like little kids can watch the same cartoon over and over again and they're still like really into it because they're seeing new. It's funny that we were we were like teenagers, like we were like maybe thirteen fourteen, and we could do that and we were like, okay, April Fools into Mister Limpet.

Like there was no shouldn't we watch something else this week?

And nobody was smoking pot or anything. It was sober.

We were eating a ton of where our friend Steffi, her family was always really stocked with what are those candies that have hazel nut in them that are like there's like a few layers to them, and they cut in Ferrara rochetes. She always had a ton of Ferrera roaches fans and she had I think her parents went to Sam's Club and would get them in bult.

I get it.

I'm still in touch with I gotta ask her about this. It does seem incredibly fancy.

It to watch the most benign horror movie and still need to like scrub it off you with mister Limpet and Ferrera rochet.

Like, it's not like you had a pretty nice chest? Yeah, pretty good?

Pretty good? Uh Jonah? What were you doing on Saturday nights when you were in.

I mean I was probably going to a lot of shows.

I was going to Dunkin Donuts or Coventry, Yeah, the grog shop or something, and then I was, yeah, probably going to show. But I think before that I would like sleep over friend's houses. And yeah, we do very banal things like yeah, yeah, yeah, right around.

Yeah. I was at my friend's house.

We would do a There was a lot of like just lighting different chemicals on fire in his garage.

Yea, oh this is you're like, of course, is that a thing?

Boys? I think? Boys? Yeah, boys do that.

You know.

It was another really fun one, climbing onto the roof for no reason.

Big hit, oh, big hit.

You can never forget when I was home and you and your friends were on our roof and I was like, what are they doing? Like there's no reason, fire, altitude, hard to get out there, but like why would you it?

Just a quest? Yeah, just a that was Yeah, they're getting on the roofs. We once laser tag entered this, I can't believe I think about how it is nowadays. We would just run around with guns. They were laser tag guns, but they're shaped like guns. And we were on just strangers roofs. We're just jump jumping down from garage roofs to sabotage each other, and like like a five block area of the neighborhood to play laser tag. I was like squirt guns. You had to be like ten feet away from laser tag. All of a sudden, you got twenty yards you can pick somebody off on. Yeah, so I got one kid had the sniper rifle. He's up on some stranger's roof. We used to just sneak.

We were just peeping Tom's as little kids.

Were the neighbors. Did you ever get feedback from the neighbors like don't do this.

Yeah, they weren't happy about it.

Yeah, but also under the cover of darkness, we just we were out of there.

They didn't know what happened.

Did you ever get into like paintball or any of that. That stuff was also really big. When I was a kid, paintball didn't come around. I kind of feel like, as an adult, I would like to experience it.

Yeah. Yeah. There were some older kids at my school who would get really into it and get all the gear and it was yeah, like the Co two and get really into it.

Wow.

Yeah.

I was not athletic, So laser tag opened up this world of like, oh I could just hide somewhere, Yeah.

Which I think you could probably do with paintball too, but I don't know because I never played it because I was too scared.

Yeah, I just I get I guess my impression is probably wrong, but like anytime I see the like these are the guys that wish they were in the military.

It seems more yeah, athletic, maybe too.

Yeah I think a little bit. Yeah, I think I like the current climate. It's like kind of not is like it feels a little weird. But at the time it felt like this is just like what kids do.

Yeah, I want Yeah, both teams should be friends. Yeah yeah, yeah, I don't like playing. I don't like do anything with strangers because I don't know their level of intensity. Yeah, like, oh no, we're all here to be goofs. Yeah yeah, I don't need some paramilitary outfit.

Right right exactly? Who needs that? Who?

Just like yeah, envisions me as like the terrorist target. You can buy a gun shows, right, that's right, I see.

Well, just to have fun, guys.

The other problem was that it was like like kind of there's like an honor code, not like an honor system. So like someone would be like, oh, you I shot you, and you'd be like, no, you didn't, and they'd be well, there's pain on you, and you'd be like, well, the paint hit that tree.

And then it was like it's hard to have it, you know.

This is something when I was in college I got really into I wrote like a whole paper on Civil War reenactments and this which we can get into another day, but this is a huge thing with Civil war reactions is people do all the work, they drive all the way, they get all their gear or whatever, and when they get quote unquote shot or killed during battle, they're like no, They're like, I came all the way out here.

They I would watch.

I went to one where I remember seeing this guy like was dead and then I saw him slowly like grab for like his hat.

His gunny stood back up and was just like looked around and was like back in the game. Like it's hard.

It's it's a bummer in any kind of those those games that take a lot of prep and you've got the whole outfit on or whatever. To not to call Civil War reenactments a game, but uh, it's hard to not to, uh to get you know, cut out right away because you you came here to play.

I did.

How do they know who got shot in the Civil War ren? I know.

Yeah, they do all different kinds of things too, Like sometimes in their guns they have paint that will sort of like a paint that will like if you get a certain color on you, it's they do. When I was talking to this one guy about it, he was saying, different different Civil War reenactments will have different sort of ways that they show who got killed and who didn't. Some of them are looser than others, is my understanding. But you know it's hard because again, nobody wants.

To get killed.

And on that note, we're going to take a quick commercial break.

And we'll be right back with.

And We're back, Kyle.

Do you know I think a friend of yours may have designed the artwork for our podcast. Fellow Cleveland or it goes been okay?

Pants? Oh Man, Pants did it? Pants? Did it?

Yeah?

Hell?

Yeah yeah? Have you been to the Old Lady six?

I have not been there yet. No, I've only been.

We go back to Cleveland usually for Thanksgiving, and I been wanting to check it out and we haven't made Have you been there?

I have?

I was hanging out last time I played Cleveland. I love hanging out with Pants.

Incredible.

Another Cleveland or Mary Santora, another cleveland Er. She's like, if you've been to Pants's bar, It's got a real solid divorce theme to it, which.

I'm sure, she said to his face. So that's why it's funny. Yeah, that's very funny. But no, it's I like, yeah, shout out to pants on the Old eighty six.

Yes, shout out pants and Old eighty six. And so how we wanted to get into your topic today?

He did that poster right there.

Oh wow, really, which doesn't have anything because this is audio, but okay.

Yeah, yeah, he did that poster for her. Incredible Kyle, your topic today.

I'm thrilled about it because it's something that I think about probably at least once a month. I've looked it up so many times. Sometimes I get an answer about it, sometimes I don't. Today I really made a concentrated effort to like use the right buzzwords related to it to find it, and I found this show that you brought up. There's a whole Wikipedia page for it. There's a ton of people are talking about it on read it a lot. The show that you're talking about it. You called it the PBS show where they would draw and color in a picture in time lapse, and that's and I used some of that to find it. It's called cover to cover. This is a show that I asked people about again all the time. I'm like, do you remember that show where the guy would like draw stuff made with pastels or something, and then he would tell a story, and it was like this guy. The guy had a mustache, and everyone's always like, Vanessa, get a grip, get out of my face.

In more or less this show. I okay.

First of all, it's confusing because this show had a lot of different names. But this show cover to cover.

It was an educational program broadcast on public television from the nineteen sixties to the nineteen nineties.

Oh d.

This show was on for a very long time. The host was John Robbins, who you probably remember. He had a mustache. I always thought he looked like our uncle Dennis. And he would introduce young readers to one or two books, and then he would draw scenes as a passage from the book was read, and he would encourage the viewer to find the book in question and read the rest of the story.

So he would sort of like stop reading.

He would stop with the story kind of at a really exciting point and say, go to your library and rent the book and read the rest of it. This guy is a former elementary school teacher and he would generally read these books that were aimed at readers.

Ages nine to twelve.

And what I didn't remember about this, but what makes sense is I always thought they were picture books, but that wouldn't really make sense because he's drawing them as he's talking. They were always sort of like young adult novels. And anyway, now that I've talked a ton about it, because I'm so excited about it, what is your memory of this show?

I'm so sad. I just looked it up because I was like, Oh, I want to see what it is. Yes, it's not the same show that I'm thinking about.

It's not. No, it's not it was.

I knew it wasn't part It wasn't part of Sesame Street.

This is not part of Sesame Street.

No, no, So this is what I remember what I saw. It was on Channel eleven w TTW Chicago, shout out there. You wouldn't see there was It was just music. And what reminded me of it is hilarious. Comic and friend of mine, Chris Fairbanks, is also an illustrator, and he just did a promo for their podcast called do You Need a Ride where he did a line drawing first where you don't the line drawings happening. You don't see the hand in it. You don't see the hand drawing it. So you see just the outline and then the shading and then the color coming in. Okay, And that's what triggered me thinking about that show. And it was like a segment of another children's show. So now I feel terrible because I want to.

See what you're talking about, even though I thought for one time I felt truly seen for one time in my life.

Well, but we both got the same satisfaction of watching a piece of art come to fruition before very eyes as children.

Yes, so did you did that make you?

I ask you about the other names that it was under then, to just to make sure that this isn't the same show. It was also in different times called the book Birds Storybound and read it.

I don't know, and it's not the same show. I want.

I want it to be. I really want for your sake. I want this. They have a good, nice little ribbon on it. But this was not Kyle.

I think what you're saying is really true. Though, Like this idea, like even like like Bob Ross, or like picture pages, like this idea of like as a kid, watching someone make art in front of you was really entertaining, right.

Yes, yeah, and it made me want to It made me want to, Like I started like drawing and do it s hard to say, like I was a visual artist at a young age.

It's finger painted. I was.

I made a ton of books and they haven't gotten published, but they were always about Yeah.

I drew a lot of pictures.

But that was one of the things, Like it was kind of how I didn't know how comedy got started. I didn't know how you did stand up or think of any sketch show or so I wound up watching a lot of Kids in the Hall because of the cable thing, and they were on HBO.

You've got every channel, why not?

So that's so that was my introduction to sketch comedy was Kids in the Hall but stand up. Also, I didn't you saw it on TV, but you didn't know how it ended up that way. And so I think with these art shows it was like, oh, you see how the line is turning into a car or a tree or a house, and then here's how the color comes in to fill it and you and you got to watch something be created in front of you, and you're like, it was such a blueprint for like, well, I will just start drawing the shape that I want and then the color comes later. Yes, and it it I That's what I was just excited to remember that because I saw this thing on Instagram that my buddy Chris was doing for his podcast, and I'm like, oh, I'm going to send that in so we could talk about that.

And it's sad that it's not.

Do you remember the name?

Were you able to figure out the name of the show you're talking about or what it was, what the segment was a part of.

No, and it was just part of another children's show. Yeah, but that was the segment I thought at first, I thought it was Nickelodeon, But Nickelodeon was not As Nickelodeon was silly and funny, it wasn't educational. So I just assumed because if it's not Nickelodeon and it's not Sesame Street, it's got to be some rando.

PBS right right right right, chids.

In front of the TV kind of thing.

Were there any other kind of like educational shows you were into as a kid.

No, you know, I think my I don't want to say it as like in an indictment against my parents. But I think they saw the kind of Disney youths as creepy or like I went to CCDO and I didn't go to Catholic school, but I went to like Sunday but anybody like.

Vacation Bible school.

Stuff, which great band, by the way, but like they always kind of looked at that stuff as like something too straight and arrow about it, okay, yeah, or like anybody that was super Disney or super The kids only watch educational materials. Granted, we went pretty hard the other way with horror movies. Yes, I mean I saw I think I think I was I don't remember what age, but I was like a very little kid watching The Shining Yeah. I'm like the on the kitchen TV. I don't know if you had how many TVs you had in your house. We weren't wealthy, but we definitely had We had the downstairs TV in the kitchen TV.

Yeah. Yeah, you know it's funny. Our parents have a kitchen TV and it has a VHS player in it, and they just offered it to they were going to donate it or get rid of it, and they asked if either of us wanted it, and I said that I did want it because it has a VHS player in it.

Jonah and VICKI were very quick, thank you.

Yeah.

But I love the idea of being in my kitchen having a TV and being able to watch like old VHS chiefs on it while I'm making dinner or something.

Media come out with the way they're taking everybody's digital stuff away from them now, even if you want it. That's why I never thought about that argument of people like that's why I buy records or buy tapes or DVDs or anything, because you have them, right.

Right, because you have the physical thing and no one can. Yeah.

Yeah, but I was watching I remember it was at night and it was the Shining on cable and it was and my mom just with a shining Oh that one's scary, good night. And then she just let me watch it by myself, which I think rules.

I think.

I think that's great, Like, yeah, it's a movie, you know, right, Yeah, go watch movies, watch scary movies. Being scared is entertaining, So that's right. You want to talk about nostalgic, that was a thing like being scared for fun is I love it.

My sister's gone nuts. She's signed.

She'll just sign waivers on websites and then get kidnapped.

Like she's at that level.

What do you mean?

She just does whatever kind of weird scare experience gotcha? When the Cup when the Cubs were in a World Series, it was like it wasn't the game that they wanted, but it was one of the ones in Chicago. Oh my god, were you out doing the game? She's like, now, I signed up for one of my things. Like I dropped off in a body bag, like like.

Division in Western, Like, what are you doing?

Oh my god, that's so crazy.

I don't like what happened to you when we were younger. That didn't happen to me.

That's wild. I you know that gave me Johnah.

I don't know if you've ever been to it, but there's a haunted house in New York that happens every year that's called Like I can't remember it's called, but I remember one year, every a bunch of people, a bunch of us from SNL we're going to like go together. And then I looked it up and it's like it's like, oh, this year's one is so much better. It has like waterboarding and like all this other stuff that I was like, that's so I was.

Like, there is you guys, I'm not going to this.

Like the scariest I'll do is like a haunted hay ride where it's like clearly you know, I mean where I get to like just sit the whole time and kind of eat little snacks and maybe like.

Get a little spookier there.

But that's it.

The idea of like going being like tortured or like going through and thinking people are going to actually kill you.

I'm like, this is what yeah, room.

It's a different thing, but that so that that's what we you know what, that's what we're doing a lot on Saturday nights. Well, just run around like trying to find abandoned buildings or fields or just something to go get creeped out at.

Yeah.

Yeah, which is how all those movies are. It's it's always kids who are looking to do that stuff.

Yeah, we did all that stuff.

We got the there was the you know, every urban legend is like, well the gate to Hell's over there. There's always a gate to Hell somewhere, and for ours, it was the it was the Ovaltine factory in Villa Park, which I love the juxtaposition of a gate to Hell being in the basement of the abandoned chocolate powdered drink manufacture and you go in there. My sisters one went in, I got I chickened out it and going side. When we were little, we rode our bikes there. She's like, I'm inside. There's holes on the floor.

Oh my god, it's it's funny because I guess that stuff was genuinely did have some danger to it. I feel like, to me, the scariest I remember being so scared. I think we've maybe talked about this on here before, but by the about the bloody Mary thing, where it was like if you say bloody Mary a certain amount of times in the mirror in the dark, she'll come and she'll kill you.

And I remember being like.

God, like I like I remember just being like, I guess I could get killed by hair, but like, also do I kind of want to see it? Like I remember that was like as scary as I would as I would go, and it really bothered me, like it really stuck with me. But I felt like I was being so brave by just like trying it a few times in the mirror just to like, you know, I don't know that was as far as I went in.

I was just standing in my.

Bathroom psychological freak out all that stuff. I remember watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part two. Yeah, like, and it was going back to the parents thing. It was a family party or there was somebody was having a family party, so you just let all the kids watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre Party while the parents got drunk in the basement.

And then we just had to go home.

And I was like, what, what's the good people with chainsaws?

And they wear faces and on their face, like, oh my god. It was great. I loved it. I love all that stuff. I still do. Yeah.

We had we had a family friend and our dad's friend Terry, and he would watch us sometimes as kids.

And I.

Remember being very young in him watching that movie The Reanimator and it's totally I still I was freaking out.

I still remember part of it. Like I was in the room for like two minutes with you, and I like.

Watching entire movies and can't remember anything a day later.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you're scared. You're not you're not worried about making new memories. Worried about surviving. Yes, that's occupying your exit distance.

Yeah.

Oh.

I would purposely put a single chair in the middle of the basement floor and watch scary movies alone. There's a bar in our basement off to the left, so you couldn't see what was down there. And I would get so scared that I would have to like I would paralyze myself, like I couldn't move, I would have to pee so bad. And then I was like, all right, I gotta be able to turn off I can't turn off the TV. I got to turn off the TV and get up the stairs in the matter of like zero point five seconds. And I had it down so fast, like if it was its own sport. I would have been the best at it, from like jumping to slapping the knob on the TV to being up the stairs less than a third of a second. Wow, on purpose, night after night, I would do that.

Would you have a lot of scary dreams as a kid? I don't know. I don't remember.

I remember.

I don't remember any of that. I would. I would just seek it out for fun. It's such a cheap thrill.

Like when you're a kid, you're not you know, if you're not drinking, you're not doing drugs, you're not trying to like actually, when you know you're not in actual danger, right when it's all just your your again the imagination thing, when you're all just using your own imagination to get yourself riled up, and then the release of like, oh, wasn't that fun that we got scared that way? I still that's still I love. I don't go to them enough, but I still have haunted houses. We had like one of the first crazy ones out by us, and my dad was a big Halloween guy.

Like our house had Halloween.

Decorations before anybody in the neighborhood really did, or before even decorating for.

Halloween was a thing.

Yeah, yeah, like hand painted gravestones and they would put dry ice in the bushes.

Wow, you know, Yeah, that's crazy.

You know. There's a guy who lives near me, who or a family, I don't, I don't know if it's a guy, it's a family that lives near me, And for Halloween they put out some upside down fake crows, like hanging from trees out front of their house. And they're really scary looking because you walk by the house and you'd see this like a But I think what happened was because there are like crows around, you know, the street, and I think because they put them up, crows now don't land on their yard because of it.

So this guy kept one of the crows.

And so you walk down the street, which is like a nice street, and you just whenever I'm with my friends and we walk past it, they're like, oh my god, like it's just so off putting to see this crow upside down. Meanwhile, other people on my like around where I live, other people hang compact discs, like because oh yeah, from trees, because I guess those keep birds too and crows from coming by. But it's like, I really wish this family would just hang those instead. It's really it's really scary to just have an upside down crow that looks so real hanging. But you know, they took their they made their Halloween decoration a year round thing because it's actually working their advantage.

I'm about legit scary.

Yeah decoration, a legit scary one, like a blow up ghost.

All right, I'm glad you're in the spirit.

But these, yeah, twelve foot tall skeletons that everybody started getting. Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that. I like that you you don't know how to store them, so they just stay out year round.

Yeah.

Great, there's a three story house that when there's one on the roof of a three story house, so you don't even see it unless you're just looking randomly. Wow, And there's a twelve foot skeleton off the third story of a house and I'm like.

Ooh, good job, way to go.

I saw one yesterday for the first time, one of those super tall ones. It was like, oh, like near Albany, New York, and I could not believe it. And yeah, I guess I was like, why is it up now? But I guess you're right. Impossible to move.

Yeah, because then it's just in your house or something. I could see not wanting it sitting in your whole living room.

Right where are you going to put it?

Yeah, it's got like these that you're talking about twelve Yeah, they're huge.

Wow.

Yeah, it's not exaggerating, you know.

I near this neighborhood where people will like get their houses professionally decorated for Halloween and for Christmas, and so to me, I will never forget. One time I was walking by this house that was so decorated for a Halloween and this guy came outside who owned the house, I assume, and he was like on a business call, and I was like, does this guy feel embarrassed? That were like like, but he's like taking a business call while he's standing in front of his house that's like all covered with like goblins and cools.

I don't know.

To me, it felt so like you can't have both, like do one or the other be be like a serious business guy or have a halloween house. But I guess the truth is this day and age, you can. You can be all things.

Maybe he's one of the professional decorators. That's why his house is done, maybe decorated. He's taking calls.

Yeah, yeah, maybe he's taking calls. Yeah, But it was just really I didn't know you could decorate your house. Yeah yeah, oh yeah. People people do it, especially people who like live in these really big houses. Like think about think about the home alone house, speaking of Chicago, think of the home alone house.

How were they going to get up there, to the top of it and decorate it? Jonah.

I kind of feel like it's an earned thing by doing it yourself, Like that's why it's the creativity of how you do it yourself, right, Yeah, I mean, granted, this is coming from somebody who's never decorated a home on his own before, so I know it's an involved process. Which I see it. When I see like a well decorated house, I don't know how to show it like I'm a little honk on a horn or something, or you driving by like nice work.

Yeah, that's call me.

And you weren't grown up eating poppains for our Rochet chocolates.

I mean we were.

Kind of John, I'm your sister. We definitely grew up with the same background so much. Sure, I grew up so much fancier than you, like the frend whose parents were smart enough to get Ferrero Rochet and Pulk.

Doesn't mean that I'm fancier.

Then it keeps them in the house. The boys aren't coming around.

You keep them pumped full of fancy chocolates and olympets.

They're not getting in trouble elsewhere. Yeah.

Yeah, meanwhile, Kyle, Yeah you're out the slapstick show. Who knows what's gonna happen there.

I'm out.

I'm making you know, I'm trying to sneak beers. We're trying to go to. We're trying to go to haunted houses after the All Ages show everything, Give me get, let let me be thrilled in the suburban landscape.

The thing that Jonah brings up that I feel like is such a such a like thing that really that I didn't even know was happening, but but was. We had like barn Bump Mits was every weekend in seventh grade, and Jonah has talked about how they what was the thing like you would try and just like take leader bottles of soda.

Yeah, did you try to break in any area that wasn't completely locked off? And then once we'd got into the basement of the temple and found all these two Leaders of soda, so we would take them into the parking lot and shake them up as much as we could and then throw them as high as we could into the air and watch them explode. And that was like the best.

Yeah.

Yeah, there was an era of at least male like for every juvenile male where it's just destruction. Yes, the sound of breaking glass, like if we found in an abandoned building or anything, it was like we got to break those windows.

Yeah, we were like that.

Like I was getting dressed up and just like what should I wear to this bar?

Bump?

It's fun and like try you know who am I going to talk to?

Is?

You know?

Am I going to dance with? Any boys?

Meanwhile, those same boys outside shaking up leaders to me, there's something so funny about that, just the fact that that I had no idea that was going on.

It's hard to reconcile the stupidity, yes, but man, there's just a satisfaction it just yeah, I don't know, you're young. Everything's just how it's supposed to be a normal. So things that crash or break or explode or fly up in the air, yeah, it rules. Oh man, fireworks oh yeah.

Oh Jonah, you had a kind of a phase with that.

We oh just even just bottle rockets and then somebody getting m eighty and like those are the most dangerous ones, all right, well we better put it in something so it blows that thing up too.

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Just even the opportunity to buy fireworks, like it felt like like it was like the hardest thing to get. Yeah, all this stuff sounds so quaint now sort of, but at the time it's like, oh my gosh, yeah.

Oh no, somebody had to make a special drive to Indiana or Wisconsin.

Right, that's right, that's right. Being from Ohio, you're right, yeah.

And then you see like the dads would light up, you know about fourth there's all of a sudden, like dads who were all about the rules and everything are all of a sudden, you know, four beers deep going all right, back up, kids just lighting stuff with a cigar and chucking it into a field to see what happens, like all right, yeah, yeah.

And then it's crazy how it flips is an adult now, If I like go to a show and I see a sweaty guy with like a shirt off, and he's like twenty feet away from me, I'm like, how far away can I get from this person so they don't touch me?

Oh? That was That was one of the funniest memories of an All Ages shows was a big the large shirtless man in the mash pit, and everybody was kind of like, all right, buddy, I know we're all sweating, but a shirt you could use a shirt.

I got his shirts on. Well.

Plus he was also very slick, you know, just just just the viscosity wise, and so I remember I pushed my friend into him on purpose and he just he just slid off so smoothly.

Yeah.

Yeah, my friend came back and punched me in the stomach and it was deserved.

But it was very.

Funny in Cleveland growing up with the Cleveland Mash Team, and they wore shirts that identified them as pit enforcers or I don't know what they were called, but but they had the shirts on the shows.

The show so you know that meant business.

It's funny that we all grew grew up watching one or the other type of sort of artistic educational shows and yet went such in such different directions kind of in our in our teens, but all came back to here where we will at where we have fun as adults and we avoid you know, the sweaty guys at Moshpitz.

Speak for yourself. I'm still out there.

Well, on that note, we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back, O Kyle Kadane. Well, we're back, and we're going to play a little game with you, Kyle.

It's called change dot Doork.

Change dot Door.

Basically, we bring up three different somewhat nostalgic things that people are trying to bring back with petitions on change dot org.

Okay, and we're going to read three of them.

At the end, we'll each vote for the one that we would sign if we had to sign one of these petitions. Kind of a sillier petition, probably not what change dot org initially set out to do, but here we are.

Okay, I like it.

Okay, So I'm going to read this first one. It's called make microwaves have mute buttons, and and this person says, when you're downstairs late at night and you want to make a hot pocket, you put it in, you go to finish something up, you come back, you see the beep is about to go off. You run for it, but it's too late, and now everyone is mad at you. But microwave mute buttons can fix this. By signing this petition, you are bringing us one step closer to peak evolution. This person says, So make microwaves have a mute button. It's got five signatures. And this person made this petition out to microwave manufacturers.

What do you think, Kyle, what.

Else do you have to do in the middle If you're getting up to have a hot pocket in the middle night, what's the others? What are you multitasking?

Yeah?

Right, right, right, right, right right.

You're just a little a little munchie goblin. Just sit there and watch it twirl until it's ready to go.

Yeah, yeah, right.

I mean, best of luck to them, But I don't I don't.

Think there were other petitions that were like make microwaves silent, which that feels like easier said than this one feels more doable to me than making the actual things be silent. But but I hear you, what what else are you up to in the middle of the night that you can't just.

Someone else in the house up maybe or something.

Yeah, they're saying in the middle of the night when you're making a hot pocket, for example, it would be nice if you could put it on mute so that it could be done and you wouldn't. I do find the microwave beeping to be a bit much, and especially because like if you do, I know, with my microwave, if you don't take things out after a few seconds, it will like beep again in a way that I'm like, there's got to be you know, But I hear.

You, what else are what else are you up to in the middle of the night?

Yeah, or eat something? Else. Yeah, that's right. Have a nice room temperature snack. That's right.

Yeah, yeah, something something better for you. You're gonna be gonna throw a hot pocket in at three am. That's not good. You already got bads. I'm just gonna break it down. Your sleep patterns are bad. That's probably due to your diet. What would the middle of the night hot pockets?

Yeah, let's get you on.

Let's get you on some melotonin. Yeah, let's get you sleeping through the night. That's where I want to break this down to. Also, I think new microwaves probably have a button a coffee maker I can put ding or no ding.

I don't know.

Well, I think that's what this person wants. I know mine doesn't. I don't have that option, so I don't know. Yeah, Jonah, what do you think?

I think? Yeah? I agree with Kyle. Yeah.

I read an article recently that was talking or a book. They're talking about why people open the microwave with like two seconds left, which is really true. I think if you use a communal microwave, there's always like two seconds on it. So I think I think a lot of people who are waiting in front of the microwave just open it early anyways, because they don't. I think it's a control thing, and I also think it's just an impatience thing of being like, Okay, it's close enough, so you could also just do that. And I looked it up and people are like, do it does a leak radiation if you open the microwave early?

And the answer is no, interesting, yeah, does.

It leak dat? Yeah.

A lot of people are like, I opened the door, really like is something bad going to happen? And apparently know the element it's safe. Seems safe now, Kyle.

Something that's interesting about these petitions, and you'll really see this in the next one, is that sometimes I feel like people are interested in doing stand up or doing some kind of comedy and instead of doing it, or in addition, they make these petitions. And you might have noticed like a little bit of that at the end of this last petition when the person said, by signing this petition, you are bringing us one step closer to peak evolution. But in this next one, which Jonah is going to read, this person's really made a whole comedy act out of their petition. So I ask you to both pay attention to that, but also try and pay attention to the thing that this person's trying to get done, which I do think is interesting.

Okay, okay.

This one is called make cupcakes a socially acceptable breakfast food, and it says, uh starts with a quote. Muffins are just like socially acceptable cupgates to eat before eleven. It's attributed to a wise person. This petition says the Civil War, the American Revolution, an argument between your average teenage girl and her parents. What do all of these things have in common? They're all about freedom. For decades, society and status quo have maintained oppressive control over the general populace, dictating what you can and when you can do it. For decades, people have fought for their rights against the system designed to hold them back and keep them in their place. You can be one of these people. Today, cupcakes face international discrimination across the board. Often seen as a more unhealthy muffin, cupcakes have incorrectly given the label of unhealthy, to sweet, expensive, and not tasty. These blatant falsehoods have been assumed as true facts by the unsuscecting public, causing widespread hatred against cupcakes. We can stand up to this injustice. Blah blah blah blah blah. Basically, this person is being very dramatic about cupcakes for breakfast and society being out of what do you think how.

I think whoever wrote that that's real proud of themselves. Yes, yes, you can tell. You could tell. The stroke with which they typed it was very like, I'm creative and fun and everybody likes me.

Yeah. I don't think.

I think this is if you want to lead the charge, just eat to eat the cupcakes when you want to eat them. Yeah, I think this is a false This is a false argument. I don't think anybody's judged this person freating a cupcake in the morning.

Yeah.

Yeah, but they want to they want to put their degree to use. Yeah, change dot org.

You got to do it. You can't talk about it.

A petition isn't going to change whether or not somebody's a cupcake or not. You're gonna be on the streets eating them in people's faces.

Yeah, yeah, I agree. I mean I think there. You know, there's a lot of injustice happened in the in the world. This not one of them in my opinion. Yeah, you want to eat a cupcakes for breakfast? Go, I do think there are a lot of similarities between cupcakes and muffins. Probably, oh yeah, oh so a little bit of it is I get that part. But yeah, I mean this feels like a creative writing exerts size that that just is. Yeah, it's it's it's trying a little too hard. I think I'm saying.

Like an office dweller that really posits him or horse self as being the witty one.

Yeah, Hey, the wrote a petition online.

Let me what's your email address? Let me send it to you, and then very smugly.

Can you can you believe it? Can you believe I even did that? I mean, what am I?

What? Am I? Nuts? Laugh?

Loof right, right, so what do you think? Okay, so I understand where this person is. If this person had a different way of going about this. For example, we had a petition on here that I actually thought was really good, which was called cheesecake cheese pie because it's not a cake, it's it's more like a pie consistency. Anyway, we we we we sort of we talked about it.

We didn't anyway.

The point is this person really explained like why different things are what they are and whatever, And I feel like this person, if they were really serious about this, could have said, like, you make them in the same tins, their similar shape, Like I would like if the place that I go to get brunch at, instead of just offering me muffins in the morning, I would like if they offered cupcakes too, because.

They're the same thing.

Like Instead, not only did this person say the stuff that Jonah read to you, but they also said what your family and friends are saying about this movement at the bottom of the petition, and then for example, they wrote, oh yeah, that's a really good point. Your coworker sounds about right, actually, rajish and then he wrote, Okay, here's the joke.

Stop texting me.

Please, We've been over this already and I don't care about your stupid damn muffins or whatever. I'm not coming back. Stop being so desperate, and please move on. I'm blocking you. Danny goodbye. And that's quoted to his ex girlfriend. It's sort of like, hey, Danny, take a chance on yourself and go to a club and do stand up for twelve people, you know what I mean?

Like start small. I want more.

This person who then to make this petition that is actually something that interested me.

But really in the delivery, let me down.

It's got real funniest person at Bible Study vibes. Yes, we've got to take you on from strangers and see how it chops up.

I think that's incredibly well put. I'm going to read this last one, which this is something our dad is very passionate about. Relates to something he's very passionate about. But so here it comes. It's called bring back Vanilla Frosty's. Wendy's always has chocolate around, why not vanilla. It's not fair that you can only get it in springtime. We should get it all year round. If they are going to have this many seasonal flavors, they need to have a second machine for vanilla.

Now it ended right there.

It ended right there.

That's it, which I appreciate. After that last one, I do appreciate this person's brevity. But our dad has this card where he gets like a he gave like two or three dollars to charity, and now every month he gets a mini Every every time he goes to Wendy's, he gets a mini.

Frosty for free, okay, and he likes the chocolate.

One's okay, But he really likes the Vanilla ones and boys, he getting mad because every time he goes, it's chocolate and some kind of seasonal frit flavor that he hates, orange, strawberry whatever. People do love vanilla Frosty's. It's like a classic flavor. I think this person's idea to have just like a second machine that's just vanilla instead of having a machine that's doing seasonal I think.

There's something to it. But I want to hear what you think, Kyle.

I got.

Oh, this one really lit me up. I Uh, first, just the idea of vanilla, like in a world where we're just getting inundated with new modifications and updates and everything, going back to just a vanilla Frosty.

When's the last time you said it? Cheese pizza?

Yeah that's right.

Oh man.

Yeah, it's like it's like like it's like you never had it before.

Yeah.

Yeah, I had to.

Get a bunch of shit all over this thing. No, sometimes I just get a cheese pizza and that's great. Yeah, because everything's just everything's coming at you with upgrades and modifications. So I like the I like, how to the point this petition is? Yeah, I agree with your dad entirely. Yeah, he can't get too loud. If it's free, he can't get mouthy about it.

Right, right, that's true.

But the just people want to break from everything, I think I think it represents more than just vanilla tastes. People just want to break from customizations and everything. They just want just give me some classics. Yes, stop reinventing everything, and especially for a classic, it should have its.

Own machine maintained.

Yeah.

I know McDonald's gets in a lot of heat over there, broken, right. I think it's just because they're probably just filled with ants all the time. Yeah, that's what I assume about any fast food ice cream machine. Not to ruin your dad's enjoyment of Frosty's, but I just assume they're filled with ants.

Oh boy. Not because I'm a huge mcflurry fan.

Okay, but but I think that I agree one hundred with the dedicated Well, bring back the vanilla and have a dedicated machine for it. The petitions correct, your father's correct, and I will sign this. But if that's incredible, Yeah, yeah, I agree with cale. You ever go to a diner and just get like a cheese omelet, I'm.

Always gonna throw like a mushroom or a green pepper.

Yeah, that's what I normally do, but sometimes I'm feeling a little thrifty.

I just get the cheese pretty good.

You know, you're saying that you don't want to pay the dollars, right.

It's like when when they when they ask you, like really, when the when the servers like, sure, yes, we could put you know, it's an omelet.

You can put all kinds of stuff. That's the whole point. I don't want to. I just want to.

I just want to go Ian mackay with this thing. I want to strip it down. It's basic, it's no no.

Riffraffra Yeah, but so yeah, I totally agree. I think vanilla Frosty, keep it simple, keep a classic. I don't need like an avocado toast favorite cliver of Frosty, you know, right, really.

It kind of hits on some of your gen z.

Yeah, yeah, I don't need it.

With oat milk, I don't know that stuff has has a place, but it's like, let's keep it, let's keep it simple. I mean, I think this could also be like a marketing play by Wendy's. Do they take away something you love, then it's back and so you rush. You know, it's like Kyle, It's like you know, with a band, when the band breaks up, Oh it's our last tour. Everyone comes out. Then you know, the next year they're back together. But you know, yeah, yeah, it's it's the McRib create a frenzy around it and pull it back. Yeah.

Yeah.

I also like that whoever wrote this seems like he found change dot org. Yeah know about it until he's like, you know, I'm pretty pissed about this frosty thing and I don't know who to talk to. Yeah yeah, And somebody's like, well, there's a whole website where you can get people to sign things. All right, good, because I was just gonna stand in front of Wendy's with a with a picket sign.

Yeah. I actually made a move like this today.

And this is kind of sad to admit, but I called a gas station's corporate line today.

Jonah loves to do something like that.

Complain that they use styrofoam cups and because they're a gas station they can get and I called. I was like, listen, you guys use stytrophone cups. I don't like buying coffee in a styrophone cup. If you guys went to paper or cardboard, I would buy your coffee more. And no one answered, so I left this on a message, and I'm sure no one will. Jonah.

You know what you could also do? What you could bring your own cup.

I know, and sometimes I do, but I just didn't have one. Yeah, you got your own cup, Kyle nice. Yeah, I just et I forgot it at home, so I yeah.

I would love it if you were like pulled in with like a forward f three point fifty. And this is your argument at the gas station, is that you know how bad this is for the environment. Anyway, I just filled up on number three. That's about seven hundred and eighty dollars. Styrofoam is terrible, terrible for the environment, and next to the straws.

Are you kidding me? Anyway?

I get my diesel stroke going out there, Mac my Duramax fired up.

Remember when we had grown up?

We had growing up for sure.

Oh yeah, remember the thing of like how like if you were like a real piece of shit, you would break styrofoam, Like if you had a styrofoam late but you would break it. That's so bad for the environment. It's like, oh what a piece of shit. That kid is is breaking styrofoam.

Yeah, it's like, where is it going afterwards? Anyway? You're not washing it off?

Yeah, I have I have rid Well. I use rid well. I got a giant bag of styrofoam because I just moved, and I'm like, I'm just giving it. I'm like, I'm just giving it to these genies that are Oh, I'm sure it's going to it's going to heaven after this service. I pay, however much for a week, and they take it to heaven, so I'm guilt free. They're just taking the dump just like the garbage truck will. But I pay an extra I no wage by guilt.

You're told our garbage truck, we have recycling. But they dump it all in the same thing, and they're like it should be in the bag and it just gets steed sorted by the truck. I'm like, okay, this gets sorted by the truck.

Not at all. No, it's for us to feel better. It's church. It's garbage church.

No.

Look, I'm praying the recycling into this bin. It's the same place.

Yeah, recycling unclear whether the plastics I well, regardless, Vanessa, what do you think about the vanilla frost I agree that.

We should bring back.

I think the idea to have a separate like I think chocolate is the classic frosty and so vanilla is like the other was always like those were the two options, and that makes sense to me, and I think that. I think that having these seasonal flavors, like, I don't know, do you know anyone who would go like, oh, over chocolate or vanilla, I'll take an orange one. It's just crazy. It's like, are those the kind of customers you want Wendy's.

Well, I'm gonna guess this is somebody that's hitting Wendy's two or three times a week.

Oh yeah, right, And so they're changing it up.

Also, vanilla just as a term, has gotten a bad rap, and now it.

Stands true and flooring.

Yeah.

Now it's like, oh if I order that, what does that say about me? You can't identify with vanilla?

But have you ever met one of those assholes who's like, my favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla and you're like, okay, or they go or they go such and such makes the truly the best vanilla ice cream.

I'm like, take a break.

I've been around the world.

I've eaten I've eaten centry egg in Thailand, I've had bullute, I've had whale blubber. I've had whale blubber and anarchic. You know, my favorite thing vanilla ice cream? Is it that kind of asshole or somebody like, Nope, I don't need to know anything else.

This is the one I like. Don't confuse me with flavors.

I think that, Yeah, someone who's acting like they're so sophisticated, they're above even being sophisticated.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's one thing to be Like, my favorite flavor of ice roan is actually vanilla. I know that's it's I know it's a simple flavor, but I love it. It's different to go like, the best ice cream is vanilla. You just have to get a really good one.

I've tried a lot. I've had like a lot of them.

I've tried every freaking flavor of ice cream, and the best one, honestly, is go back to the basics of vanilla.

What are you guys doing drinking and drugging and having sex. I'm having a vanilla ice Cream of the Taste challenge at home tonight.

Yeah.

Well, now's the time in the game where we each have to vote for the one we would sign, even though I think it's really obvious. Yeah, so I pose it to both of you and to myself, if you had to vote for one of these, make microwaves have mute buttons, make cupcakes a socially acceptable breakfast food, or bring back vanilla Frosty's, which would you sign?

It's pretty obvious I want a vanilla Frosty.

Now, yes, yeah, yeah, so do I Not only will I sign that, I think I'm going to go find a Wendy's.

Well, good look getting a vanilla Frosty. I think last time we were here we're talking about this. I think your only option is right now? Are chocolate and orange?

My friend?

What is what happened to the green ones after Saint Patrick's day? Do they just throw them in the sewer?

That's a good question. Do they have green or is that a McDonald Is that.

Like a shamramrock shake? But yeah, now they're pushing this or orange dreamsicle frosty.

That doesn't sound bad though it.

Doesn't sound that bad. Actually, well no, it does sound bad. It does sound bad really to me.

But let's say this. You're going to Wendy's.

You're like, I'm going to get a vanilla frosty, and they're like, your options. You can get an orange, aren't you gonna go? Ma am or sir get out of my respectfully?

Go ahead?

Which one of this sounds the best to you? There's an orange Dreamsicle. It's following in the previous seasonal success of Wendy Strawberry, Pumpkin spice and Peppermint Frosty's.

I'm gonna come at you with this first off, Are either of you the type of trash that puts the fries in the frosty?

No, I've done it before.

Is it good or is it just like, oh, you tricked me? Is it like some great that it.

Just tastes like fries with chocolate ice cream on them?

Of course it does. Of course it does. And these people are trash that do that. I will say dreamsickle as a flavor if it's coming from the ice the ice cream Dreamsickle. It was orange on the outside with cream in the middle, so there is a vanilla component to.

The ges it does.

It's a vanilla base, You're right, it says it's a vanilla base with like hints of orange.

You want orange, you don't want a clue behind the curtain.

It sounds like you would sign this petition, but you're not. You're not as much of an orange dreamsicle hater as we are.

No, I'm not going to go in there with a with a.

Saber yeah and start trouble.

I'm not gonna go full falling down Michael Douglass and narrow.

Go to Vanilla, get a buzz cut and go in there and yeah, yeah.

Yeah, oh god, that movie was so big when we were younger, and I remember, Yeah.

It's really funny except for the end.

Jonah, what would you which position.

I'm with Kyle and you, I think, yeah, I would sign the Vanilla Frosty Yeah, I yeah, Pumpkin spice Frosty does sound pretty bad. Dreamticle I think is higher up, but yeah, just have it on the menu. Like I said, I don't know how big a frosty machine is, but just jamming in the corner or something.

I don't know, do.

Your seasonals, but have that Vanilla machine. I think this person has a very good point. You just have the Vanilla machine, So what do you think? Yeah, I'm signing this one. And honestly, and I want if the person who made this petition here's it. I want them to know there's a world where I would have signed them make cupcakes socially acceptable. And I say this knowing that like when you're in your own home, you can eat cupcakes. But wouldn't it be nice to have cupcakes as an option at like a brunch style of meal at a restaurant.

But they didn't. They didn't convince me with their you know what I mean.

I want to see this person take take a risk on themselves and try their stand up out somewhere else. And in the meantime, I'm going to vote for Vanilla Frosty's. Yeah, I've really silenced the room.

Oh, it was just such a definitive statement. Yeah, we all poo pooed the muffin man. We know that he's Yeah, we know that. That's just a you know, proud of themselves creative writer who was like, Yeah, if you want to make something socially acceptable, you do it socially. You don't get a petition online done about it.

You go down, go down to Saint Vitas, get on stage, tell some jokes.

We all did it.

Yeah, Yes, we've all done it.

Kyle.

I was going to ask you, actually, like, what do you think this would be?

Like?

Do you think this guy would go? Okay, I'm going to try and do it. Okay, and then you and then so muffins and cupcakes. Right, you can eat muffins for breakfast, but you can't eat hubcakes for I'm going they're the same shape, they got the same amount of sugar and calories and such. And I'm going next time I go out for breakfast, I want to have cupcakes on the menu.

Now, Kyle, how would you do it?

I mean, my personal style, I go back the other way. Sometimes I want to wrap up a nice I want to go to a birthday and wind down with a nice muffin afterwards.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know you're giving me. You're giving me so many options of sugary treats. It flips the reversal works. Give me a sweet treat in the morning, give me a nice something with brand in it after I've eaten a bunch of candy corn and gummy bears. Yeah yeah, yeah, we could flip the script. These things should be living in the set. I'm going logical. I'm not going comedy.

Logical.

I love the you can make some some kind of some kind of crap joke on top of that, you can go hey, and for anyone who doesn't know the thing.

After I'm having my sweets, it's kind of what you hit on.

I'm gonna have some fiber because you know where that goes the toilet.

You could even put a crap joke on it, like how you pitched it. Put a crap joke on there.

I see, I'd go more of the pun root.

Okay, John, let's try. Let's get I think we both figured that.

Yeah, I'd be like, yeah, this cupcake, I gave it to my dog.

I'm like, what is this a pupcake? Right?

Yeah? That doesn't really have anything to use the petition, but it's good.

It's funny though. Yeah, what's a cup? You ever try to drink out of a muffin pan? It goes everywhere. That's not a cup. They're pancakes. But we already took that by things. These cakes, those aren't cakes and they're made well in a pan, all right, that joke dead end.

I tried to make a big I tried to make a sheet cake and a muffin in a muffin pan and I had a bunch of little It wasn't a sheet cake. It was like a it was like a one eighth of a sheet cake, A bunch of them.

Oh Buch made the whole sheet cake A real tired afterwards. Sheet count.

I'm counting sheet cakes at night.

You know, you know my problem with muffins and cocakes are they're the same thing.

Okay, on that note, Kyle.

I think you could get me. You could get mad about it.

Yeah, yeah, just because you put frosting on it. Now, all of a sudden, it's a it's a cupcake.

No, thank you, what bitch, I know what that is.

I know what you're doing. You'd be the know it all comic that's telling the truth. Yeah, you guys might not be ready for this. Cupcakes and muffins, same damn thing.

Dog.

I hope that.

I hope that the guy who wrote this petition is gutting some ideas from this.

Yeah, you did basically just workshop this with some pros.

Yeah, that's right, free workshop.

He's working on it.

You know, this person should rate and review our podcast. But speaking of where people, Kyle, where can people find you? We know you have a new special.

Oh, I'm just on the internet under my name at Kyle Kanane on All the Stuff or Kyle Kanane dot.

Com, Kyle Kanane dot com. And where can people watch where can people watch dirt Nat?

It's on eight hundred pound Gorilla. It's on there.

Well, you can find it on my website. It's you could buy it for ten bucks and you get it and you get like four download codes so you can watch a commercial free for ten bucks. Or April second will be on YouTube for free with commercials, you know, the way comedy is meant to be consumed, just interrupted, you know, they just they know where the punchlines are and they step all over them. So you can watch it that way for free, or you can get it and you get like a bunch of download codes to share with people. You can go in and have your own thing for Yeah, it's it's out there, boil of promoting myself.

Well, I've been watching it and it's it's very funny and everyone, Oh, thank you should check it out. Yes, of course, yes, and yeah, that was so fun. Thanks so much for Kyle for joining us. Who knows I might open some dates for him in the future. I think I made a pretty good oppression.

That's right. I think you made a pretty good showing.

Yeah, well you know you can talk to my agent like the voice my left for the gas station. Shame today, similar response. But if you enjoyed this podcast, please please subscribe and keep an eye for next week's episode of How Do We Get Weird? We'll discussed more stories from our childhood and cultural touchstones like educational art shows, horror movies.

Oh and getting spook and getting spook. Getting spook very

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