Hi. I'm Vanessa Bayor and this is my brother Jonah. Were two siblings who love to talk about our childhood and nostalgia and how shaped us into the people we are today, who are pretty good at word games, if I do say so myself. Welcome to how did we get weird? So, Jonah, I was really excited about our guests today, and I was trying to think of a fun story to talk about. And you know, I know our guests today because we all appeared together, fun fact, on the same episode of Will and Grace. I don't know, this was probably like maybe four years ago. We're thinking for we were all on this episode of Will and Grace. And something that comes up a lot when I'm filming stuff that is sort of rooted in my childhood is that I love free snacks and I just truly can never get enough free snacks. In a way it you'd go, oh, like, do you outgrow this when you like become a person who's on TV and you have like money to buy like whatever snacks you want? Absolutely not, okay. And I experienced this on a smaller level when I worked in an ad agency in Chicago. I remember like when we would have clients come in, there would be like a spread from somewhere, and as soon as the clients would leave, everybody in the office would like run to the leftover snacks. So I don't think I'm alone in wanting free snacks. But anyways, when we did will Engrace together, I played this baker and I was selling all these bake goods in my bakery and they had like the most incredible baked goods, and so we were filming all weeks, like even rehearsals, they would have them and I kept be like, what are you guys gonna do with these? And they were like, oh, you can take them if you want, and I was like, no, way, whatever, And then we finally filmed the episode because you like kind of rehearsal week and then you I think you film on like Friday or something. So we filmed the episode on a Friday and there were all of these bake goods from my quote unquote bakery and they were like, do you want to take these home? And I was like, well, yeah, I get whatever. So like here I am the classiest of the classy, carrying like a huge box of pastries out of my first time guest starring on will and grace, like just making it probably an incredible impression on everybody. But I took these snacks home, and by home, I mean I was staying with our cousin Mia because I didn't live in l A yet, and I was just eating pastries for days and days and days. And then one day I left and I went to maybe I was doing another job. I can't remember where I went, and I got back in Mia. Our cousin was like Vanessa, I had to throw away the pastries. I was worried you were going to get sick knock out of eating too many of them. Not because I was eating too many, but because she was like Vanessa, they've been here for like a week now, like you can't. They don't last forever. And that was a real lesson because a lot of that stuff has so much oil and fat and stuff in it. You're like it lasts, you know, but at a certain point you have to go, is it worth making myself sick again? Not for me eating too many of them, which is another way to get sick, but getting sick from them being stale. And I can attest if you go to Vanessa's house, you will open her fridge. She'll be like, what is this, Like, I don't know. I got this stuff somewhere. I got all these weird Starbucks like double shot vanilla lattes. I got all this stuff. It just I just took it and just put it. It It will be in here probably till the end of time. But to be fair, that stuff is non perishable, right, I don't want people to think I have like a hoarder's refrigerator where it's like old bottles of soy sauce and stuff, which I did have to throw out a bunch of soy sauce yesterday. Okay, Now we are so excited about our guests today. They are a true Hollywood power couple. One is a stand up comedian, actor, and screenwriter that you may know from his hilarious comedy specials or his work on movies and shows including The Goldberg's ap Bio v The Others, and actress you may have originally discovered in the nostalgic film The Journey of Natty Gan, but who's gone on to impear in movies and shows such as Happy and Characters and animated films such as the Secret Life of Pets to Teen Titans. Go to the movies and you can catch both of them on their wonderful podcast. Did you get my text? Please welcome Patton Oswald and Meredith Salinger? Hello, Hello, Hello. I want Kermit to be like, yeah, okay, First off, I have to say something about your week at Will and Grace, the one that where Meredith and I were both there the best craft service. Okay, but here's the thing. Meredith and I stupidly we're doing a cleanse that week. I remember this very distinctly. God would like an arbon cleanse or I don't know what it was. It was one of those you know, prepackers little foods and you you know, little soups and stuff. Because we've done like every brand, We've done every clue. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I had forgotten how over the top they go with the catering at Will and Grace. It is basically like you're in a cheesecake factory all week, right. The selection of foods, especially on show night is readic you chicken, ridiculous. God, everything was so good. And I think on show night when we finished doing our scene, if I remember correctly, I know, I was like, screw it. I deserve a reward. And I went over and just hogged out at the I grabbed things. It was it was just too good. I wasn't not going to have something. It was so tasty. Yeah, you're right. It's so funny that I was fixated on the baked goods when there was so much other Oh my gosh, I can't believe you guys were on a cleanse, but being Will and Grace, I bet they went to some high end bakery, like you know, on Joy's Kitchen or something and got that place out in Glendale that does those amazing cakes and pies. And I just must have been crazy. I don't know if they because they like visually looked so good. They were all so huge. It would be like a croissante that was like the size of your head. Like it was like all these like huge things, and I was like, I can't leave these here. I'm like, what are you going to do with them? And it was so crazy that they were just like, if you want, you can take them home. I was like, yeah, I wanted to what I gonna do? Throw them away? Yeah? You might have company over. They would have taken them home, hopefully. I don't know. You're right, though, they had such great food there. And the other thing that I remember that I was so into was they had a few things in almost like you know when you put like a quarter in a machine or something and you like turn the knob and like bubble gums. You know, what are my gumballs? I'm reversing the word. Yeah, a gumball machine and you put a quarter in and like a few gumballs come out or a big gumball comes out of They had those, but with like trail mix they had one. It was like mostly it was Eminem's nuts and raisins. Oh I don't like that mix. I love that mix, but I just don't separate them. Well, I don't like the raisins, so I don't eat the raisins. And that makes me feel like I'm like, oh, I'm so good because I'm avoiding the sugar when the real sugars in the M and m's, you know, like why not have them separate? People who want raisins right right right? And people who want the checks mix like, let's make our own. I hear you, I totally hear you. But I would get like a big cup of it and I just eat it, and I'd be like this cup seems bigger than it is because I'm not going to eat the raisings. Do you see my reasoning? They're fair enough. I see what you're saying. I have a question, So all three of you have been on a lot of television shows. Is the catering tied to the budget of the show or do some shows with lower buckets haven't so? And by the way, it also has to do with who was on the show and who they have access to. I did five episodes of Hollywood Squares back in the late nineties, Whoopi Goldberg being the center square because she was producing the show and will be called in favors, and the whole thing was catered by Wolfgang Puck because that's how she did it, and it was amazing. I've done lots of independent movies with sleeves of saltines and yeah, you know, I did Modern Family once and I don't remember this. The films so quickly. I was there for probably like a total of three hours, Like it was so quick. But I heard that they were getting like lobster and stuff, like they had like crazy, crazy stuff there. I think if a show is really successful and it's like a network show, like that, and they have so much money they just go all out. I mean I think, yeah, like what you're saying, Jonah, Like Will and Grace was so successful that I think they just had crazy good You can tell the success of a show by the catering ridiculous. I'm used to being around bands and music and you can usually get like some carrots and hummus, send a couple of bottles of water, and that's sort of it. I have been in many a green room in music clubs, and boy, that can be really grim. That can be very grim situation. Totally. On my show, I was kind of avoiding the craft services because I was trying to eat healthy. And then one day I went and I realized that they had every kind of bar, Like they had cliff bars, they had what are those bars that are Luna bars? How did you guys know that? That's what I was thinking, We're like that, that's so incredible. I was going to say, bars made for women? Wasn't that? Initially? How they made Luna bars is that they marketed them towards women. At once, Tiva yogurt they marketed Tiva turn women also. They sort of made it seem like Luna bars had like not estrogen in them, but like almost like something in them that was like they were really good for women. They had our X bars, which not a cheap bar as we all know or me. Yeah, so it was really I was like, Okay, this bar game is on point. What were you gonna say? No, I was just thinking of all the bars I like, and I got all excited. I was just thinking of a Tiger milk bar that's literally candy bar, though, like it was called protein rich, and so I used to be like, mom, it's protein rich. Can we get that because it's got proteins. And if they are all candy bars, all of them, there are no real candy bar material. We got to get a kind bar. Actually, kind bar is literally held together with sugar paste. It's basically a pay day bar. They don't even bother to hide it anymore. Just have a candy bar. I agree. We talked about kudos a lot on this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. They never tried to market those. I mean that was kind of before protein bars existed, but man, were kudos good. And also we've talked about how it's such a like mature, sophisticated name for a bar that was almost exclusively in children's lunch bags. It's true what adults were like, like, you brought them in your lunch, You brought Putos bars. And we're all just a bunch of sophisticated kids going, what a delicious Kudos bar, drinking a bocu eating, Give your kids a Quorum bar in their lunch. It's all candy bars. It's all they are can bars. I was home in Cleveland visiting our parents, and my mom she started getting really into this app called Bobby Approved, and it's this guy Bobby, and he goes into different grocery stores and he like tells you what you should buy, what's good for you, what has a ton of sugar in it? And you can scan items in the grocery store or at home and see if their Bobby approved or not. And if they're not Bobby approved, it says like what ingredients like are not Bobby Approved? And Bobby does the whole thing about protein bars and you're right, he says, like most of them are like basically candy bars except a few. Yeah, there's a guy on Instagram who does these videos and I'm blank. It's like something fresh or flavor and yeah, that's him. Bobby approved site is flav City. Oh, flame City, Okay, And he goes in and he's his arch nemesis is apparently palm oil. Boy does he hate palm oil. He also hates mellow deck straight that's in cereal, the Preservetive in cial. He said, there's a better one that's actually pure vitamin e. I can't think of the name of it right now. But what were you going to say, Patton, Well, like you said about the bars, there's a video where he's at the shelf of all the different bars, and usually when he's in the other videos, he's like, these three are good, these drinks are good. And when he gets to the bars and he goes, these are all bad. It's all candy bars. Just stop eating bars. None of these there. It's all bad. Like he has enough, there's nothing to be had there. Don't eat any of them. You're basically eating a candy bar. You know what bar I've started eating that. He actually is Bobby approved because I scanned it. This is an expensive bar that has to be refrigerated if it's left out for more than seven days. The bar I'm talking about and if they'd like to sponsor us, we'd be more than happy. Is elemental bars? Have you tried those? No? Is it delicious? They're pretty delicious? And honestly, you guys there Bobby approved really, so hang on, Bobby did approve a bar. Bobby approved this bar, and I think there were a couple other you know Jonah, he Jonah is a big go macrobar person. He approves some of the Go macrobars. Some of them. It's probably whichever bar company pays him or something. It's what, Jonah, don't say that about Bobby. That's not fair. Our mom was giving us this a lot. I was like, is it Bobby Flay And she's like, no, it's this other guy. And I don't wishes. I think a lot of this stuff seems probably pretty common sense, right, is like sunflower oil or something in some Go Macro bars and not in others. Just to go back to this really quickly, which is why he approved some of them over others. Okay, again, every time there's someone like that, in my mind, I amlways like I want to wait until three or four years down the road when then the thing gets exposed that he was paid by these company and it's all another scam. Like yeah, everything now, I've been so overwhelmed by how everything has been a scam that any new thing that comes along, and just like, I's gonna wait till we find out this person is horrible. Like everyone that I was always excited about, they just end up being horrible. I hope he isn't, but there's a part of me that's going to hang back a little bit. Let's see what happens with Bobby fair enough. I think that's reasonable, Patt, and I wanted to tell you too. I actually found an interview I did with you in two thousand seven for what for alternative press? Oh my god seven I used to work there was a music editor from Yeah and Cleveland. It was a review of war Wilson Lollipops. I really liked it, and I asked you how you got into independent music. You said the Repo Man soundtrack that fourteen saved your life. That's true, absolutely saved my life. It was I was a little Northern Virginia suburban like caged veal, no idea of the outside world, and so I did that classic thing of the Repoman soundtrack came out, which I listened to and then I spent that summer telling everyone about this new thing called punk rock, and everyone around me was like, yeah, Patton, you're okay, great, like you could see the Do we tell him or are we just happy that he's into it? Like let's just let him enjoy it. But you know, like I discovered punk rock literally six years after it happened, like it was this new thing for me. Yeah, that's so funny. And it was all West Coast punk rock. But it's all West Coast. Wasn't even British or New York. It was all the West Coast bands because you were near the DC scene, but you couldn't go there, couldn't get there. So I didn't get to see any of the none of them. None of them. I couldn't get there because you were a little kid. Why couldn't you get that. I was a little kid, and then I didn't have a car, and you just didn't unless somebody was willing to take you into the city. You were a little kid, and then you were a person who could drive but didn't have a car. Yes, exactly. I was young and broken the suburbs, and I and all my friends then I have like busses and trains and they had nothing. Now there's there's literally a subway stop in my old neighborhood. But at the time, it's seventies and eighties, it was this suburb of d C with no bus line, no nothing. But what a sad. All my friends that were like I was like, let's go into the city, and they're like, let's stay in the garage whippets, like you guys are both really into punk music, and now you're also both really into Bobby totally. Bobby's my best friend, and punk rock is my favorite kind of music. I'm so the Electric Mayhem is my favorite band there, the Muppet Band. Oh yeah, I like you know old led Zeppelin. Well, Jonah will tell you being into punk rock early will lead you right into Bobby and nutrition there's the same thing. It's just it's just an adjunct of straight edge. That's as far as I'm concerned. For sure, for sure, Yeah, definitely. Yeah, Well we're going to take a quick commercial break, but we'll be right back with Patton and Meredith. Hey, Jonah, when you were writing for Al Turn to Press, you were also living in Cleveland and writing for it there. Yeah, we're from Cleveland originally and then I moved back to work at a p wow. So you were there to Cleveland at that time. There was a really interesting, like post somebody's music scene coming up. I'm envious. That must have been really cool to get to live there. Then I think my friend Aaron might have made a poster for you there that well. I remember seeing a show poster that they saw around a lot. Yes, he goes by okay pants, Yeah, okay pants. Aaron's secrets he did. He did a poster for a gig I have coming up. He's the best. Yeah, he's great. I love him. Yes, oh my god. Anyway, yeah, okay pants love him. He's done so many posters for me. We've gone from punk to Bobby to Aaron exactly. Man, you know that was the line from the Who's My Generation? I hope I die before I get into health bars like that was his big worries. You don't want to get too old in it into health bars because that's embarrassing. I mean, yes, yes. So the theme of this podcast is nostalgia. And before we get into the topic, Meredith, I want to take anything away from your podcast with Pam, but we know you just went to your college reunion. Oh my gosh, yes, can you talk about that? Because Vanessa goes to her reunions. I'm not a big reunion person, but I'm just curious how your experience was. Yeah. I've never been to a reunion before. I've been to one high school reunion, and this was my first college reunion. It was my thirty I didn't go to all the other ones. I felt like at the beginning, like the five year of the ten year, I was like, I'm friends with the people I want to be friends with, Like I don't need to go back and meet people. I never knew what's the point. But then like and I'm like, I'm single. Everyone else is married, Like everybody has kids. Am I really going to come back and be that girl where everyone's like, what's going on in your life? You're dating anyone? And I would have been like, uh so. Then yeah, so I thought, thirty, let's go. I finally, I've been married for five years, I have a cute little girl. There's stuff to talk about. Things are better. I don't know. It was great and I met someone fabulous. Oh I did not at the reunion. At the reunion. At the reunion, yes, there was a girl that went to school with me. She was in my class, but I never met her. And now she's like the most important person in the world and she's like our democracy hinges on her justice. Katanji Brown was in my class at Heart and I got to meet her and we had a really great long chat and it was amazing, and she's so sweet and cool and nice and like, I love her so much, and I was like, I'm so happy you exist. But we've got into like a long, good conversation, like girly conversation too. But yeah, that was very exciting. That's incredible. I did a panel on the first day of the reunion. I was asked to do a panel. The girl that I was sitting next to on the panel was this beautiful lawyer who was Katangi's roommate. Her whole rooming group. They were all lawyers, like they all became brilliant, genius lawyers, all of them. And so then she introduced me to Kanji. Later, she's like, you have to meet the girl I was on the panel with blah blah blah blah blah. Wow, that's incredible and I got very excited about that. Yeah, I've actually only been to one reunion as well. I've only been to one high school reunion and it was over Thanksgiving and it was the year that I got on SNL, so it was like you when there's something good happening. I had been on SNL for like two months and it was like over Thanksgiving break, so it was like a really well chimed But the thing was like everyone in my high school was like pretty night. Like I didn't feel like I was like coming back with anything to prove, Like. It wasn't like I was like, you guys were mean to me and now in mons and I was like, no, you guys were nice to me, and I guess thanks to your support and and kindness, I've now gone on to have success. So anyways, it was really fun and I love talking about being in high school of being in middle school. Mean, Jonah and I went to the same school from like kindergarten through senior year, and I still am really close with like a bunch of my closest friends are still friends from growing up. But one thing that we wanted to talk about today was field trips, and we I don't know about you guys, I absolutely loved going. I felt like field trips were the most fun thing of all times, especially on the rare occasions that our mom would be one of the like chaperones on the field trip, and then you're like, Okay, my mom's coming to school with me. That's actually awesome. Which Jonah, I don't know if you remember this, but Mom used to also kind of work with like the computer guy in like Moreland Hills or pepper Pikes. So like sometimes when you'd be like walking down the hallway from lunch or something, I'd like see Mom and she'd be like assisting these students in the computer room, and I'd be like, Okay, this rocks. I loved it. I don't remember that. It's almost like we lived in alternate reality because I don't remember any of this. But do you remember I don't remember specific feel trips mom came on. But do you remember her being on any of yours? No? No, I don't what field trip do you remember her being at? I don't remember. I should have asked her before we did this, but I don't remember specific ones. But one place that we used to go to, which I've tried to do some research on on field trips, was this museum in Cleveland, where they had like an enormous tooth and you could like walk into the tooth and learn about like it would be like here are the gums, like they like do this and this. It was so cool and I was like, the best field trip we ever took was what I think was the Health Museum, which is now called Health Space Cleveland. I was doing some research and I found an article that says big tooth extracted to be replaced with giant head. So I guess they got rid of this tooth. And this article, which was in Roadside America dot com news, says the Cleveland Health Education Museum is undergoing radical surgery to save it from a near fatal case of attendance dropsy. And it's like, guys, you're so interested in doing comedy, maybe find another outlet. Dropsy is kind of a grim disease. And it said the venerable Cleveland, Ohio Museum had lately failed to bring in the crowds despite the presence of a giant tooth, large veiny eyeball, and the Theater of Human Sexuality. I don't remember the last two things. And so it says the entire building was demolished for a new facility, and basically the original museum was created in the nineties from exhibits used in the New York World's Fair. Anyways, the point is the new museum is called Health Space Cleveland. In two thousand and seven they merged with the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. So anyways, I don't know if that means anything to anyone, but the point is, this honestly asshole writing this article can take a h Well, it's just clearly like you said the frustrated comedy writer. I'm sure that there have been some is made to the onion that got returned, and he's still bitter about it. Yikes. Field trips were though, the best. I agree. It was so fun to get to leave school with your friends. I remember when I was really little we went to on a field trip to Alvara Street. I'm from Los Angeles and Alvaria Street is like, is it still there? Very much? You guys have heard of it. It's like a historic area where like Mexico and California used to. It was like that when California was basically a pueblo or a mission, they kept the whole area. Vera Streets started as like a marketplace and still the same architecture and everything is still down there, and it's pretty gorgeous. And they would sell like some breros and those like Marryonet puppets, and then you get those astro pops. Do you know that They were like lollipops, but they were shaped like an outside down ice cream cone with a tip. It was pointing on top. It was like red and then it got yelled and then it got green at the bottom and it was just like a lollipop. It was like my favorite thing, totally, totally. I remember that our class was just running around all Varia streets so fun. Yeah, we got to go to the West Side Market once. Of our art class was just gonna say that we went to the West Side Market and we would take pictures of people at this outdoor market and then we'd have to like paint them or something. Yeah, it was for art class. Oh, it's kind of cool. Yeah, it was kind of cool. Patton, do you have any kind of field trip memories. I didn't want to jump in early because I'm very, very spoiled when it comes to field trips, only because I grew up in Northern Virginia, so in our immediate area literally, our school was next to Civil War battle fields. Oh my god, we could take a five minute walk and be worth five thousand guys got slaughtered. So there were all these I mean broad Run was the site of a Civil War battle. But also it was a twenty minute bus ride into Washington, d C. So we could go to the Air and Space Museum, we could go to the Mint, we could go to the like, you know, the Natural History Museum with the gigantic, the Smithsonian with the huge blue whale. I mean, it was just NonStop coolness that we had access to. So, you know, field trips for us, and it's not that we were jaded, but we're just we always had great field trips because of where we got to go see the pandas for God's six, we got to see pandas at the National Zoo. And you'd buy a little nit panda souvenir, and the little panda souvenirs where that the heads were perfect, they would fit in all the I would click those little plastic football helmets from all the teams, and the football helmets would fit perfectly in a little panda's head, and I would make it look like a little superhero like you would have a little I wouldn't put the sticker on the side of the platta thing. I would draw my own design on the side, like that was his little thing that I would have. That is so cute. I like the gift shops at all those museums, like like if it's science museum, it's like they have all that space food they have, like the ice cream that dehydrated ice cream. Yes, that was really amazing at the Air and Space museums. I don't know if they still have this, but back in the seventies and eighties, not only did they have the free stride ice cream, they thought the public would be excited to eat. And I guess they were because it was still a novelty. You could buy the astronaut food, not just the ice cream, but the actual entrees you could purchase, like the weird thing that you would like school eased one side of the thing and it would put water in and it would hydrate it and then you would a got awful. But it was so exciting, like this is what astronauts eight and like, yeah, I don't know why you're selling this, but whatever. Yeah, I was just gonna say when you were talking about energy bars before the Space Food sticks. And I don't know if anyone remembers that. I was born in the seventies and they were like these protein carbohydrates and fat, all perfectly proportioned, and they were so good. They looked like kind of long toot ce roals, but with like more cakey consistency. And I just remember I went off to camp and I wasn't allowed to have any you know, they weren't allowed to send care packages to camp up. My sister would like write letters and then smushed the Space Food stick in between the and send it like that because I was so obsessed with it, and they don't make Pillsbury made it, and then they stopped making it, and then they came out with like a throwback whatever it's called vintig kind of and it wasn't the same different formula, but everything is a different formula, like Twinkies are different. Pillsbury did this. Was it Pillsbury or don't who did the space for It was pills It was a non frozen balanced energy snack in rod form rods. It was basically it was just it's cookie dough. Yeah, it's basically cookie. It was like caky tutsie rollie cookie. I for sure remember there being more than just space ice cream at We had like a NASA in Cleveland that we would go No kidding, we did have a NASA. Vanessa's friends dad worked there right Our neighbor Sasha Ross, who we've talked about on here before because she's a periodontist now, who we go to for our teeth cleaning. Um, even though she can do a lot more than that. You're in Los Angeles. My dad's a dentist. I was excited about your tooth museum. Got it. Got it. By the way, I want to be clear that Sasha doesn't do our teeth cleancase she's a periodontist, but we go to her office forgive me. Yes, Parodoni is much better. She has done periodontal work on anyways. So the point is that Sasha's dad was a literal This was the joke that we would always make about Howard Sasha's dad, he was a rocket scientist. Well, okay, I paused for laughs, And I wasn't really pausing for lefts as pausing for awe, because you know how you go like, you know, the classic phrase of what do you think I'm a rocket scientist. He was one, and actually he was really good. He would like tutor me and a lot of like particularly in physical But then would you say something like, I mean, he's no brain surgeon. He's a rocket scientist, he's no brain surgeon. Well, I probably could have gotten him good with that, but I actually think, I actually think I'm not sure that brain surgeons are more knowledgeable, but I don't know, but they're all very smart. But he was so smart and he worked at NASA. It was like so cool. Kasasha's dad. It's like, where's he going today? Oh, just Nasa, Just NASA. It's gonna go Nasa NASA. But like I remember us going there on field trips and stuff. The other thing is like it's so good that like kids don't have credit cards and stuff in general, because like kids are such a little consumers. Like I do remember just like going to those gifts stores and just like being like you just feel like such a little adult and you're like maybe I can get a gift for my sister, and like maybe it's so fun to like shop while you're at school. Then there's that one kid who actually shoplifts in the class and like steals a little something and then shows you and that's happened to me before, and I was like, oh my god, oh my god, you can't do that. You have to go put that back. And then they're like, oh, it's the worst. I remember this one girl who did that. I was just dying and I was just like, I'm such a goody goodie. I was like trying to tell her to put it back, but then also like being afraid, but I wanted to tell the teacher, but I didn't want her to hate me. And I was just like, I don't know if you remember this, Jonah, you probably wouldn't, but are like high school band every year would go to Disney World and like perform and they'd get to like go on this Disney trip. And one year this girl, and I can't remember who it was, she shoplifted something at Disney and they caught her and they like sent her home from Disney. Hey, security at Disney is no, you cannot get away with anything on it. They are on it in media. I'm just telling you, they're on it immediately. That's the one place don't shoplift something. Somebody's watching you. Anyone here is listening, and it's going to Disney and is thinking of shoplifting. Don't think again, don't do it. They're tracking your every move. I'm sure, But isn't that like such a bummer because I remember it being and I'm sure my friends if I had asked them, would know who this was, But like I remember it being someone who was like really nice, really like a good student, like just decided like couldn't they have been like, you can't leave your Disney room tonight, you know, or something like they had to send her home. It's so crazy. It's like she's already probably paid for whatever she's stole with the prices at Disney. Okay, okay, folks, ladies, guys, back me up. You're already getting robbed. If anything, she's just bouncing out the scales. Who's got a birthday here, folks, this is our act. We're already building it. It's incredible. It wouldn't be great if she'd use that argument, you know what, based on the obviously the Chinese child labor that you're using overpricing and anything. I was like, he would have that was her argument. It's something that Jonah definitely would have done. We've talked about another episode, so Jonah was already going to the Principle's office, I think because he felt like that our cafeteria was selling pizza Hut pizza for too high a price. It was a dollar fifty slice, and I remember making like a big deal out of it and then being basically, yeah, Jonah, just don't buy it. If you think it's overpriced, I'd be But if you buy a whole pizza, it's like seven dollars. Why is a slice of dollar capitalism? Man? I know, I know, I know. I was a pretty fun kid to be around. That's what you would have said if you stole a piece of pizza, which a hard thing to conceal, But if you stole a piece of pizza, you'd be like, I've already paid for this pizza in the past few weeks. I bought you know, by the way, quick asterisk. I know. I don't want to take us off topic of field trips. Well, I'm just kind of fitched the field trips. Go ahead. I saw some and post this online. I forgot who posted it, but it is true. Water tastes different and better in those big, red, thick plastic pizza Hut cups that they come out in the big tall tumblers when you're in that ice water. When they bring the ice water to day, when you're in a field trip and that hits the table first, There's nothing more refreshing than ice water out of those big, tall, hard plastic tumblers at Pizza Hut. I forgot about those. You're totally right, Oh man, now I want pizza. Oh. By the way, Meredith has a condition that I've named and made up, but it's true. I call it Manchurian candidate. If she sees a food item or talks about it long enough, she will have to have it immediately. I'm like an advertiser's dream, Like she really is just mentioned something and I'll be like, yes, I need that right now. I'm dying. But really only regarding food right, not items. But if they show anything on TV that looks remotely delicious, I must say I have that food right now. Oh my god, not my stomach. No, I'm similar to that. I don't know why this made me think of it, but the pizza the hot thing made me think of Like when we used to this was sort of like a modified field trip. After we would play softball, sometimes we would get to go to Dairy Queen, which I don't know why those things were related, but like after baseball games and stuff, like, the team would go to Dairy Queen, and I should have known them in there when I was like, fully only playing to go to Dairy Queen really interested in sports. It's a place to feed a lot of kids really easy, really cheat. Yeah that's true. Friendlies Dairy Queen will. And it's also a great place where if the team's lost and once bummed out, you're like, but I'm I gotta do team building here. Let's all take them someplace to eat together. Yeah, Like I'd be like, oh, our team lost, but I'm getting ice cream. I guess, yeah, that's all I care about. Yeah, I'd be like, you know, our team loses a lot, that's kind of fine, but yeah. Going to Dairy Queen together also felt like kind of like a little bit of a field trip because you are going with people that you know, you went to school with, that you played I guess softball with or whatever, and it feels so adult to be in a public place with your schoolmates when you're like, are used to only seeing them at school. Totally, it's a whole it's out of context friendship. It's like you're a certain way in school, but when you go on a field trip, it's totally a little bit different. Yeah, there's different people that you're excited about, and you're doing more grown up things, and it's got different energy and then energy with the teacher, Like you're not in the classrooms and things are different. It's just a whole thing. Yeah, I guess it must have been really stressful for like the teachers. It's a lot of kids to keep track of. Imagine losing one of those kids. Yeah, oh my god, terrifying. And every kid is just scheming to do something totally. They're all like just looking for a way to like do something. What can we get away with? This wasn't a field trip, but I just want to tell this story really quickly. One time we were in Washington, d C. We were at the Smithsonian. It was I think our cousins who lived in d C. We were there visiting them for something. And Jonah, I don't know if you remember this, but we were looking at like the scariest hugs in one of the Smithsonian's the Insects Zoo. The Insects Zoo, That's where we were it's amazing. We were looking at this thing that was like a cross between like almost like looked like a huge sloth or something not sloth. A huge would be scary insect that looks like a sloth. What it's too thick and furs like like a huge like a slug slug, that's the word I was thinking of. It was probably a giant snail out of its show, those huge cephalopods that just come out. And it was just this huge, really scary looking thing. And we were with our cousin Mia. I don't think she would either of you would remember this, but she was looking at it and you scared her like you went like boo, and she got so freaked out. Many sorry about that, man, but it was actually a funny prank. I'm sure she got over it pretty quickly. But that insect, what's it called called the insect zoo? The insect zoo. I took alistair when she was a chok our daughter there, I think she was like three or four, because she loves bugs. And they had the giant cephalopods that the person would take out the size of a forearm, and also they had the Madagascar hissing beetle that they with gigantic cockroach that if you stroke it it goes. It has this weird hiss and my my our daughter held out in her hand, and I remember just going, that's not my kid, because I can't even watch this happening right now for you, and she's just like trying to make it hiss loud. Oh my god, that's so crazy. And the big tarantulas they had all sorry, And on that note, we'll take a commercial break and we'll be right back and we'll never talk about tarantulas again. And we're back. So our next segment, you guys, is called change dot door dot Door. Now, you're probably familiar with change dot orgsmission for social change, but a lot of people who use the site apparently aren't. So we go on line sometimes and we find petitions on change dot org that we think are pretty interesting and funny and examples of people kind of using this site in the wrong way. Basically, what we're gonna do is we're going to read you three petitions and at the end of this, we'll all say which one we would sign if we had to sign one. Oh boy, okay, okay, yeah, And when Vanessa says we it's pretty much. I do it, and I have all these incredible keywords I use, and I've gotten pretty finds these petitions, so I'll kick us off. The first one is called Arby's Bring back Potato Cakes. This is a short one, and I want you to just note Vanessa point out the tone of this person. Arby's, in their infinite wisdom, decided to remove potato cakes from the menu after all these years. It is a very beloved product by millions of customers throughout the United States, and they're very shortsighted for doing so, all because of adding a new product, crinkle cut French fries. These fries are in no way replacement for the potato cakes. Too many corporate decisions like this are being made up beloved wrestler, a short sighted bureaucrats and corporate offices. Please Armies, bring back what we love. And okay, so this is directed towards Arby's corporate headquarters. It's trying to get signatures. It has six thousand, which is more than you might think, especially for someone being so sarcastic, and especially keep in mind this is changed out org. So, okay, is this the right place for this? I don't know. Maybe but what do you two think about Arby's bringing back the potato cakes. I've never even heard of this. I've never ever in my life been to Arby's. And when Pat and I were first texting each other before we met each other, when we were just sort of getting to know each other, my birthday was coming up, and he said something like, oh, I'll take you to Arby's for your birthday, like as a joke, because we didn't meet each other till like three months later whatever. But I've never been, and I'm dying to go just so that I can say I've had that roast beef sandwich, because but I don't know anything. So I don't know those fries, honey, do you know those? No? But I do know that the impulse to try to bring back some pop culture slash popular product that goes off the menu, it feels like it's a boredom killer and a time filler for people. There was that whole thing about the chefs wan sauce at McDonald's feyears back. All the Rick and Morty fans like literally attacked McDonald's locations trying to get it. McDonald's has leaned in to that way before that when they bring them mc rib back randomly. You never know when it will be back, when it will be gone. Right. We hear about that from our dad all the time. Did your dad have a tracker or something he loves? We're always know when it's fact. I don't follow fast food enough to know all the little ins and outs, some little side products. I'm sure that there are people shamrocks shake. Yeah, there are certain food items are like, oh, this is the best, and why do they take that away? But the sarcasm of the post feels like I just wanna I feel like I have control over something. I think he really wants them back, man, I think he does. No, I'm not saying he doesn't. What I'm saying is like, there's bigger things in my life that are also going wrong that that clearly we have no control over. And then, to add insult to injury, they took away my potato cakes. Like I'm already participating in all these other exploitative stuff that's ruining my life. How dare you take away the one thing that was giving me pleasure. Maybe you feel like you kind of can get a petition. I think you can change that. It's like we want to change gun reform laws. It's taking forever and always. But like tell something to a corporation like bring this back, a lot of people get behind it. They're like, oh, free advertising, let's bring it back. You can actually do those stupid little things, perhaps because the big things are just too hard to change. And to be fair, there is a lot of gun control kind of petition sting here, but then there's also people who came here to get potatoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. I just love that Jonah explores the fringe outskirts of the change dot org universe and finds, yes, you find me equivalent of those people that set up a tent outside the White House, but their only petition is to save the ringtailed squirrel. Like that's their whole thing is We've got to and no one even knows why they're doing it anymore, and you're like, oh, that's just their thing. Yeah. Well, I will say that we thought that this was like so funny to find these things. But I feel like when we signed on to change dot org about a month ago, the big thing that the website had helped do was like bring Mexican pizza back to Taco bell I think so they were like, congratulations, you've brought Mexican pizza back to Taco Bell. Great now I want that it's a discontinued Taco about And what's funny is my friends had a Taco Bell themed podcast. There's some conspiracy theories that Taco Bell keeps running out of them and my friends if a podcast called for seven inch Club, they think it's like, that's even marketing, like they're pretending to run a right to increase in demand like the fried chicken sandwiches and always other places like oh you can't get it. You know, it's like they have all these ingredients already, and this is what these guys are saying. I mean, it's like, just so I think they may be onto something. Are okay wait a minute, yeah, maybe maybe I'm mr Remember they're trung. I thought that the Mexican pizza at talk about one away because was actually bad and people didn't like it, or they do like it. I can't remember. Maybe I don't know why they take stuff away and add it all the time, but it's probably like for YouTube, probably you put out like a comedy album, you know, some people don't like, and then five years later they're like that's my favorite album, right. Like that happens a lot, like as people get older than all of a sudden they love this thing that they didn't you know. So I don't know, I don't know. I think it's all marketing. All my friends now that are my age are going back and repurchasing all of their albums that are now being put out nostalgically on old eighties style cassette tapes because they want them in the little racks on the wall for that look, they're bringing back the nostalgic. They don't want to listen to it on cassette tape, right, They want this nostalgic object, which means they had LPs. Then cassette tapes came along, which replaced LPs, then got replaced by CDs, then got replaced by LPs out of nostalgia, which are now getting replaced by cassette tapes. And like it's just never ending. Yeah, I was going to get rid of my CD collection. I was three thousand CDs. Now people are starting to get back into c d s. I'm like, I guess I should hold on to them, but hang on to them, just just wait, I'm just gonna wait. I'm just gonna wait, Vanessa, do you want to introduce our second our second petition? Yes, and I will say I kind of remember these potato cakes. I feel like they're just like hash brown. Oh I love Okay, sorry, okay, okay. Let's move on to the second petition, which is make wine o Ween a real holiday. So this woman started this petition. She started it to the National Association of American Wineries. This one's really long, so maybe just read an exerpt. I think, okay, okay, She wrote, holidays are tough on moms. Doesn't matter the holiday, Christmas moms, Thanksgiving moms, even Mother's Day. We make dinner, we clean it up, not complaining. But if we could add some additional holidays that make moms sit down, relax, connect, and drink a glass of wine, we'd be all over it. So she wants to add wine o Ween to the calendar to add some lighthearted fun. Let the kids eat candy, but moms love wine. Let us have something for ourselves. Perhaps let us exchange wine bottles with a neighbor, again asking permission for something she definitely could do on her own. But perhaps after trigger treating, we get together and connect. It's like, just ask your neighbor to hang out. Ladies, just have a Halloween party and serve wine. Why are you so nervous to hang out with your neighbor? Okay, how about we sit down for five seconds, pretend that our lives still matter and it is not a groundhog day of making dinner, taking kids to baseball practice, and figuring out that we have quote mom, but okay, here goes. Participation is easy. Get your wine tumbler, fill it with your favorite drink when trigger treating. If you find a house with wine colored pumpkin out front, you know you can stop and grab a splash of wine. Oh my god. Literally every Halloween party you serve wine to the adults. I don't understand what we have to call it. She is making up a thing that has not been taken away from her in any way. Make sure what she's done is I don't want to have to throw the party. Can I just wander the streets in my neighborhood with a tumble drink and then just hold it out and people don't do it? It's like, lady, I think you have way more problems here than missing this holiday. You want to be drunk in public? You want to be drunk in public, that's what you want, So I want to be drunk in public. Well, she also it's like she's like, I'm not complaining, but every day feels like Groundhog's Day, and like I'm cleaning, honey, it feels like you are complaining and maybe this isn't the place to do it. I don't know. And as our producer Olivia pointed out, there is a wine National Wine Day, there's National Wine Day. People are really into wine now. It kind of reminds me of like ten years ago when everyone's like really into bacon and they were like you should put bacon on everything, and bacon. There's a bacon restaurant. And now I feel like it's like just pop culture gets really into something that's always been around. I remember I went to a bar and they had a like a breakfast shot. It wasn't like whiskey, but like also they gave you a piece of bacon with it. It was like bread. I like bacon. I don't drink whisk but I'm just saying, like I knew there was this place that actually served bacon with the drink. Yeah. I was just in Boise, Idaho and there's a restaurant I swear to God called Bacon and they have little bacon shooters six kind of bacon. It was started off as a bar years ago, but the guy started making this maple infused bacon. Then he would sell them. Then got so popular that he just started selling the bacon and his ell kind of bacon. And then but now that said, the bacon that I got there was incredible, And Boise is a kind of place where a bacon restaurant can easily sustain. That's no problem. But yeah, these pop culture rabbit holes. Yeah, I was just gonna say, I was at a party, and you know how people bring things to the part, Like someone brings a bottle of wine, someone brings a six pack. Someone somebody came into the party with a bouquet of bacon. So it was like skewers. They put the bacon like smushed it up at the top, like accordioned the bacon on each skewer, so it looked like a flour at the top. And they were all like cooked with like brown sugar, so it was like candy. It was like brown sugar candy bacon, and they served it in book. I thought, oh my God, that is amazing. I love it. This is a great segue into our final petition, which is called simply Bono and John bon Jovie Vegan Challenge. This is a short one and maybe the most bass are one. Today I was walking down to the underground, one of my foolish ideas came to mind. What if I was able to challenge my two favorite rock stars and ask them I'm going to clean up some of this. There's a few types of asked them to go vegan and influence millions of people, showing them a way of kindness and ethic respect to all loving being, saving millions of animals and the world at the same time, since the meat industry is responsible for the CEO to emission. So here's my challenge. Do you Bano and John please join me and help me save the world. And the photo is a photo of John bon Jovi and Bano together, but it looks really old. I mean, this photo looks like thirty years old, and probably they were just at an event together. I don't know if they were plotting like a vegan diet to change the world. But what do you think of the Bano and John bon Jovie vegan petition. I'm you know, I don't know. Pat and I literally just talked about this last week about being vegan, and I think it's amazing to get people to get on. But we are not vegan. But we both feel like the world would be better if we were, if everyone were, But like we just literally neither one of us really have any willpower to be vegan. It's such a hard place to reach. It's like where the beats have no name, you know, Like it just feels like I don't want to give a chart a bad name, Like that's the thing that I'd be worried about. You know why you're adorable. I'm just living on a turn up, you know, That's what I'm why I would sign a petition for that. I think getting anyone to go vegan is a good thing, even though I just could never. I have a couple issues with this petition. One is, I think if you want to send a petition to Bono and John bon Jovi, maybe proof read it first. That might have a lot of type place in here. That's why Jonah was kind of having a hard time reading it. Second, Bondo and John bon Jovi probably are vegan. I don't know, that that's going to help other Like it's like I feel like rock stars don't really is probably already there. I don't know about bon Jovi, why together, Like why do they have to do it together? Well, they're his two favorite rock stars. But I just think that, you know, I think Bono is already eating tempe, a bloody tempe. But I don't know if like Jon bon Jovi, what what he's living on a prayer? Is that the right band? Yes, just checking I said earlier, living on a turnip? You missed it. No, I didn't miss it. I mean I heard you as I was also speaking. It just feels like they're probably already vegan or maybe they're vegan, and like, I don't know, I just don't know that people like rich rock stars like, yeah, he probably has a chef that can make him vegan food. It doesn't exactly. Yeah, I've been just struggling so much, was trying to come up with another pun food. I had to look up some songs. The best I could do was Born to Be My Baby Corn. There you go. I mean, what more in the name of kale? Really, it's at this point That's what I'm always wondered. I also admired deganism. But I do feel like if there was an article in Rolling Stone that was like jump by Jovian Bano, say go vegan, I feel like that would I would be like, Okay, I don't know if this is really the thing that's going to push me over, Like no, exactly, I don't know, you know what I mean, It would feel a little bit artificial. I think this guy has good intentions, but I'm not sure this is the way to build awareness for this diet. Right we're in between having the rock star performer that has captured all of the youth kind of en mass. I mean, we're we have very loyal camps, Like there's the bts and the K pop stands and then there's the swift Ease and stuff, but we don't have that. You know, there were certain eras of like you know, Axl, Rose Bowie and Prince like they just commanded everyone for a while. We haven't gotten to that next person that if they said something, it would change everything. You know, we're not there yet. Maybe there's too many people now. It's like hard to be like a standout because there's so many people. You know. I feel like maybe if Harry Styles said he was vegan, he could maybe get a lot of He probably is right, he is. Yeah, he looks vegan. Skinny and hot, skin and hot. Speaking of skinny and hot, it's time to vote. So I'm going to reread the names of these petitions and everyone's going to choose one to sign. Okay, Number one, RBS bring back potato cakes. Number two make wine o Ween a real holiday, And finally number three, Bano and John bon Jovi Vegan Challenge. This is tough. I'll tell you which one I'm gonna pick because it's actually not that tough for me. I'm gonna pick the potato cakes. And here's why, because, as we pointed out, the wine o Ween just go drink one with your friends bon Jovi, And even if that petition worked, wouldn't make more people vegan. If they could bring back potato cakes, it might make people feel like, oh, I did this thing, I did affect some change. What other things might I be able to change? Like that could be the prelude to making someone go well if I brought back potato cakes. Who say can't get rid of guns? Like today it's potato cakes, Tomorrow it's guns. There's hope in bringing back potato cakes. Yes, yes, that's exactly why I would choose the potato cakes one. I also feel like, just personally for that guy who started the petition, I feel like him knowing that he actually did something that he was able to do would just make him a very happy person. I feel like, if you're going to go and make a petition on change that org that you know he accomplished something, he did it and he set his mind to and yeah, yes he'll feel better. Yeah, and it's a little thing, but it would give him happiness. And then maybe if they bring it back, I'll go try it. Since I've never been to arby it seems like something now that I've been told about it, I might want to check out. Yea, and Pat, you promised to take her too, so you gotta do it. He did, Baby, I'll take you to Arby's. I gotta. We will come full circle and I will fulfill the first promise I ever made her, which I will take you to Arby's for your birthday. Well, you did take me to Arby's after the Emmy's when you lost, but we didn't eat there. We just we just recreated a picture. We didn't eat there, but we just sat outside the Arby's and hugged. There's a picture because the year before Patton won an Emmy and there's a picture of him with his Emmy at Arby's. And then a year later there's a picture of him without his embody sitting in front of Armies by myself as a joke, going like, hey, this Emmy after party is really kicking off, and I'm just sitting by myself outside of Arby's with my Emmy at night. And then so when I got next year, we recreated the photo of just me and I'm kissing Meredith, like, well, I didn't win with the constolation prizes are pretty great, that's very sweet. So Arby's was served as the backdrop to an experience in our lives. I've just never eaten there, although there was a video that kind of went around a couple of weeks ago. There's a podcast these guys had never eaten at Arby's and always just made fun of it like everybody, and then they actually started eating the Arby's food. It was funny because a they're loving it, that's the But the second funny thing was like, does this mean we can't make fun of armies anymore. And then now I'm gonna want Arby's all the time because I just thought RB sucked and everything that you've given us so far is really good, and like you're act getting angry. At one point, this guy bites one of the realistics and he goes and he goes like makes a delicious face. What do you vote for? You guys? Yeah, what do you vote for? I'm gonna go with the bring back the potato cakes as well. This is the only one to me that I think I would actually would affect me. I also like the tone of this I like that he's going off the corporate bureaucrats. I like the first sentences Arby's in their infinite wisdom. I just I like the condescending, humorous tone. I like going after the CEOs, and I like cash Browns. So yeah, checks all the boxes for me, Vanessa, what about you? Well? I also I think would sign this one. It seems like the only one that, like really technically would work. It seems like the only one based in reality, based in reality exactly. But also I would sign it because I would think maybe if this guy got his petition signed, he's stopping such a smug assole or would it create a monster where he's like Bono and bon Jovi? Or all right, my beck and call who shall I summon? Night? Right? Right? We don't know. That could go both ways. You're right, you're right, it could go both ways, right right, So anyways, it sounds like we're all in for potato cakes. We'll see we actually all sign on to change that organ actually sign probably what happened. But good for that guy who made that petition, Good for that guy. So beautiful. Well, you guys, this was so much fun. Where can people find you? Well, you can always listen to our podcast. Did you get my text? Over at Starburn's Audio drops every Tuesday, Meredith and I catch up on our texts, catch up on our lives together. It goes in so many crazy directions. Yeah. And if you have stars and you want to see Patent and gas Lit, it's a really cool show about the Nixon administration. Oh that's right, Oh my gosh. Yes. And then he's got a show called The Sandman coming out soon. When's that, honey? Sam And drops Friday August five on Netflix, same day that my film I Love My Dad drops Oh yeah, Oh my god, I love my Dad won the Audience Award and the Grand Jury Prize at the south By Southwest Film Festival. My gosh, congrats. That'll be coming out. It's actually really really good. Also in August, you can get my new comic book, Minor Threats, which would be dropping from dark Horse on Wednesday. Look. I like making stuff people. I'm not gonna apologize. Oh that's incredible, like doing stuff. I guess I did a really thorough intro for you. He was on King of Queen's I met him once on another show. I saw him eating a pretzel. Ladies and Gentlemen patting. And you can always follow Meredith Sounder on Twitter and Instagram. Her feeds are a delight. Please. You could have said she also had a movie at south By Southwest called The Prank Ando, but that's okay. You can look at my Twitter and also check out her Twitter. She takes pictures of things a lot to check out. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean. That's not what I meant. You realized I wasn't trying to, like literally laughing. But I love you and so it's mine and Meredith, what is the name of your film? Well, it's Rita Morano's film and it's called The Prank and I'm just a prank. Yeah, I'm in it. Also, okay, incredible. Everyone will have to check it out. Yeah, well that was so much fun, you guys. There are so many places to check you out and so many petitions that you'll be checking out, I'm sure. Thanks so much to Patton and Meredith for joining us, and to everyone for listening. If you enjoyed that, please subscribe to the podcast. Than you and I have for next ext episode of How Did We Get Weird, but we will discuss more stories from our childhood and cultural touchstones like field trips. Thanks you, guys, Thanks so much, Thank you guys. That was so fun. S A I A A