So much you're listening to a Mother Mia podcast.

So much you're listening to a Mother Mia podcast.

Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the Eora nation. We pay our respects to their elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.

Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We have recorded this podcast on the Gadigul people of the Eora nation. We pay our respects to their elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Annalise Todd, new host of Mamma MIA's parenting pod This Glorious Mess. I'm a single mum to two tween boys and a long time listener of help. I have a teenager just gearing up for what is to come in my life. I loved the episode unpopular opinion parenting teens is tougher than newborns. I can definitely see from what my friends with teens are experiencing. It's a way scarier, uncharted time and like all things in life with hindsight, well, newbies are kind of like little worms really, And as a mum of boys, I was scared but also fascinated by why your teen smells like goat according to a doctor. I've been a longtime listener of This Glorious Mess. The podcast was one of the very first podcasts Mumma Mia Maid and hosted by Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo. It's an utter pinch me moment stepping in as the new host alongside Teagana Tooley and Sarah Marii Fad. We've just launched a brand new chapter of TGM, catering to parents with kids of all ages. There's new stories, new ideas, and a wide range of guests to truly reflect exactly what it looks like to be a parent in twenty twenty four. In this episode, we talk to a sleep expert, and no, not fear kids sleep. A sleep expert for us, the tired parents with the mental load swirling around our heads, keeping us up at night as we spiral over the never ending list sport the text we haven't responded to ah, and that one comment we made in two thousand and eight that we still cringe at, well, maybe that's just me. The new This Glorious Mess, will make you feel seen and heard as a parent and hopefully give you a little chuckle in your day, because there really is humor and glory in the mess of it, one big, giant, glorious mess. Hello, and welcome to this glorious Mess. We're embracing the chaos together, ditching the judgment. I'm Annalie Todd, a single mum of two tween boys and happy to report we are all currently life free.

I'm Annalise Todd, new host of Mamma MIA's parenting pod This Glorious Mess. I'm a single mum to two tween boys and a long time listener of help. I have a teenager just gearing up for what is to come in my life. I loved the episode unpopular opinion parenting teens is tougher than newborns. I can definitely see from what my friends with teens are experiencing. It's a way scarier, uncharted time and like all things in life with hindsight, well, newbies are kind of like little worms really, And as a mum of boys, I was scared but also fascinated by why your teen smells like goat according to a doctor. I've been a longtime listener of This Glorious Mess. The podcast was one of the very first podcasts Mumma Mia Maid and hosted by Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo. It's an utter pinch me moment stepping in as the new host alongside Teagana Tooley and Sarah Marii Fad. We've just launched a brand new chapter of TGM, catering to parents with kids of all ages. There's new stories, new ideas, and a wide range of guests to truly reflect exactly what it looks like to be a parent in twenty twenty four. In this episode, we talk to a sleep expert, and no, not fear kids sleep. A sleep expert for us, the tired parents with the mental load swirling around our heads, keeping us up at night as we spiral over the never ending list sport the text we haven't responded to ah, and that one comment we made in two thousand and eight that we still cringe at, well, maybe that's just me. The new This Glorious Mess, will make you feel seen and heard as a parent and hopefully give you a little chuckle in your day, because there really is humor and glory in the mess of it, one big, giant, glorious mess. Hello, and welcome to this glorious Mess. We're embracing the chaos together, ditching the judgment. I'm Annalie Todd, a single mum of two tween boys and happy to report we are all currently life free.

Oh what a victory, What a time to be alive.

Oh what a victory, What a time to be alive.

And I'm teaking a tolly.

And I'm teaking a tolly.

I'm a mum of three under six, and I now have two toothless twins as I like to call them.

I'm a mum of three under six, and I now have two toothless twins as I like to call them.

So teek.

So teek.

Today on the show, we're talking about sleep, not your kids, sleep yours, because this podcast is all about you to sleep, not about you, teek, It's about actually the.

Today on the show, we're talking about sleep, not your kids, sleep yours, because this podcast is all about you to sleep, not about you, teek, It's about actually the.

People who listen to us.

People who listen to us.

But anyway, we hear from a mum who's scheduling dinner time and a little bit differently. Plus we chat to a sleep expert. I find out all the things I'm doing wrong with my own sleep. So stay tuned to hear my shame spiral and meltdown over them.

But anyway, we hear from a mum who's scheduling dinner time and a little bit differently. Plus we chat to a sleep expert. I find out all the things I'm doing wrong with my own sleep. So stay tuned to hear my shame spiral and meltdown over them.

Oh I can't wait.

Oh I can't wait.

And as always, we will hear from our friend Sarah Marie. But first, here's what's happening in my group chat. I thought i'd just refer to my mum's group chat, currently entitled bitch ass host.

And as always, we will hear from our friend Sarah Marie. But first, here's what's happening in my group chat. I thought i'd just refer to my mum's group chat, currently entitled bitch ass host.

Mine's called the suburb I live in and legends, So mine's a little bit better than your PG.

Mine's called the suburb I live in and legends, So mine's a little bit better than your PG.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I thought this was so funny because I feel like what I'm about to quote is an insight into all parents' lives with kids around starting school age. Anyway, this one particular mum said that her son was nearly asleep and just yelled out from his bedroom, criticizing me that he found one soft grape in his lunch box. In a monst the many perfect grapes, I can't go the f to sleep. You're getting a lunch box full of soft grapes tomorrow.

I thought this was so funny because I feel like what I'm about to quote is an insight into all parents' lives with kids around starting school age. Anyway, this one particular mum said that her son was nearly asleep and just yelled out from his bedroom, criticizing me that he found one soft grape in his lunch box. In a monst the many perfect grapes, I can't go the f to sleep. You're getting a lunch box full of soft grapes tomorrow.

I can't believe.

I can't believe.

As he's falling asleep, he's like, yeah, I need to tell mum about that one soft because this was.

As he's falling asleep, he's like, yeah, I need to tell mum about that one soft because this was.

The worst thing that happened in my day. Do better next time.

The worst thing that happened in my day. Do better next time.

Ah, Mom, I'm hungry. There you go. There, You're hungry for soft grapes.

Ah, Mom, I'm hungry. There you go. There, You're hungry for soft grapes.

That's all you're getting. Hi, it's Sarah Marie. Hi, Sarah Marie. I'd love your advice. My child keeps climbing into my bed with me. Please make it stop? Will I ever be alone again?

That's all you're getting. Hi, it's Sarah Marie. Hi, Sarah Marie. I'd love your advice. My child keeps climbing into my bed with me. Please make it stop? Will I ever be alone again?

Why do you want it to stop? I don't understand I am the wrong person to ask this question to. I am in the middle of my queen size bed. I've got my four year old on one side, I've got my one year old on the other because he suddenly eleven months decided he doesn't want to be in his cot. He wants to be snuggled with me and I can sleep the kids sleep. I love sleeping in bed with them. But if you actually really need your own space, I do have a tip, and it worked with my oldest son until my baby was born, because then he wanted to sleep in the same room as his brother. I like pimped out his room. I completely pimped it up, you know, to show pimp my ride. But it was like pimp my room and he was like dinosaurs wallpaper. I got him a cool new bed and new bed sheets. It was a lot of effort, but it was really cool, a really cool space to be in. Suddenly he just wanted to sleep in his room. So that's a tip for you, if that's what you really want. I would make their sleep space their own. Don't make it like what you want. It has to be what they want. Don't do the Beijemum thing like get the color in there, and really get their personality in there, and they'll want to sleep. They'll probably want you to sleep in there with them till they fall asleep.

Why do you want it to stop? I don't understand I am the wrong person to ask this question to. I am in the middle of my queen size bed. I've got my four year old on one side, I've got my one year old on the other because he suddenly eleven months decided he doesn't want to be in his cot. He wants to be snuggled with me and I can sleep the kids sleep. I love sleeping in bed with them. But if you actually really need your own space, I do have a tip, and it worked with my oldest son until my baby was born, because then he wanted to sleep in the same room as his brother. I like pimped out his room. I completely pimped it up, you know, to show pimp my ride. But it was like pimp my room and he was like dinosaurs wallpaper. I got him a cool new bed and new bed sheets. It was a lot of effort, but it was really cool, a really cool space to be in. Suddenly he just wanted to sleep in his room. So that's a tip for you, if that's what you really want. I would make their sleep space their own. Don't make it like what you want. It has to be what they want. Don't do the Beijemum thing like get the color in there, and really get their personality in there, and they'll want to sleep. They'll probably want you to sleep in there with them till they fall asleep.

But that's a win.

But that's a win.

I think if you can leave the room and go into your own bed. If your question is why would you want some like adult alone time, my question is why would you want to? I mean, I just can't think of anything.

I think if you can leave the room and go into your own bed. If your question is why would you want some like adult alone time, my question is why would you want to? I mean, I just can't think of anything.

Worse right now?

Worse right now?

You got a kid.

You got a kid.

Young enough to want to climb into bed with you. I think by the time I get the kids to sleep, I am exhausted. I don't think sex is even on my mind, and I don't think it's on.

Young enough to want to climb into bed with you. I think by the time I get the kids to sleep, I am exhausted. I don't think sex is even on my mind, and I don't think it's on.

My husband's side.

My husband's side.

And you know what, judge me as much as you want. I have in the past week spoken to three separate girlfriends of mine with their husbands, and they have all said the same thing. When we're like, nah, man, like, that's not happening for us right right now.

And you know what, judge me as much as you want. I have in the past week spoken to three separate girlfriends of mine with their husbands, and they have all said the same thing. When we're like, nah, man, like, that's not happening for us right right now.

It'll get back there. But I mean, just lock your door. If you really worried about your.

It'll get back there. But I mean, just lock your door. If you really worried about your.

Kid walking in on you, just get a lock for that time frame, and you know, if you hear the door knock, just get dressed really quickly.

Kid walking in on you, just get a lock for that time frame, and you know, if you hear the door knock, just get dressed really quickly.

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

When it comes to baby's kids sleep, there's a million and one methods, opinions, research techniques about how, don't why.

When it comes to baby's kids sleep, there's a million and one methods, opinions, research techniques about how, don't why.

I think what was popular when we were having kids was the tizzy What was that called?

I think what was popular when we were having kids was the tizzy What was that called?

Save say?

Save say?

I did that ah for my first baby from two weeks and from two weeks and still in the womb. I still feel guilty and am very concerned about the trauma that I have impacted.

I did that ah for my first baby from two weeks and from two weeks and still in the womb. I still feel guilty and am very concerned about the trauma that I have impacted.

For yourself or the kid both.

For yourself or the kid both.

Yeah. Well, look, that's just.

Yeah. Well, look, that's just.

One of many now, because everywhere you turn there's another method, right.

One of many now, because everywhere you turn there's another method, right.

The fading method.

The fading method.

So that's when you put them into beds while the child is still drowsy, then stay by their side until they fall.

So that's when you put them into beds while the child is still drowsy, then stay by their side until they fall.

Isn't that just gonus leep?

Isn't that just gonus leep?

I don't know. It's the method though.

I don't know. It's the method though.

The five three three rule a training method that involves specific intervals for sleep.

The five three three rule a training method that involves specific intervals for sleep.

It sounds like something you do it like a gym, like a gym.

It sounds like something you do it like a gym, like a gym.

Class, or the diets you know, the.

Class, or the diets you know, the.

Dice, Okay, all right? The pickup put down methods.

Dice, Okay, all right? The pickup put down methods.

Also sounds like something you do at the gym. The five minute method.

Also sounds like something you do at the gym. The five minute method.

You just let them cry for five minutes apparently, right, Okay. The chair method sounds creepy. Instead of leaving the room, you just sit in a chair next to the cod that's creepy.

You just let them cry for five minutes apparently, right, Okay. The chair method sounds creepy. Instead of leaving the room, you just sit in a chair next to the cod that's creepy.

Look, I'm not gonna lie. I've probably done that at some stay, let's be honest. I didn't realize it was an actual method though. I thought it was just me leasing my shit. I so advanced he can't put down and shushpat method.

Look, I'm not gonna lie. I've probably done that at some stay, let's be honest. I didn't realize it was an actual method though. I thought it was just me leasing my shit. I so advanced he can't put down and shushpat method.

Yeah, that also speaks for its tummy.

Yeah, that also speaks for its tummy.

Yeah. The thing responsive settling.

Yeah. The thing responsive settling.

Just sounds like you're responding to their needs. And I think the meanest one it's called extinction. So basically you just shove them in the bed and no matter how much long, right, you just ignore it.

Just sounds like you're responding to their needs. And I think the meanest one it's called extinction. So basically you just shove them in the bed and no matter how much long, right, you just ignore it.

Our whole point is each to your own. Whatever works for you is whatever works for you. That's what you do.

Our whole point is each to your own. Whatever works for you is whatever works for you. That's what you do.

You booth totally.

You booth totally.

And I did that trauma inducing save our seet method for my first but by my second I was just like demand feed coasally, whateverever gets you through.

And I did that trauma inducing save our seet method for my first but by my second I was just like demand feed coasally, whateverever gets you through.

Yeah, and you know what, every bloody baby's different. Like my twins. I must say like, I did a method and it worked great for them, and then I thought, oh, with Banjo, I'm going to get this done really early. You know, no way, mate, That kid was an anti sleeper. I used to laugh at me at three am when I'd be trying to do the pat the shush, the pick up, the put down, the.

Yeah, and you know what, every bloody baby's different. Like my twins. I must say like, I did a method and it worked great for them, and then I thought, oh, with Banjo, I'm going to get this done really early. You know, no way, mate, That kid was an anti sleeper. I used to laugh at me at three am when I'd be trying to do the pat the shush, the pick up, the put down, the.

Whatever it was.

Whatever it was.

He'd literally laugh at me in the middle of the night, and I was like, right, I quit.

He'd literally laugh at me in the middle of the night, and I was like, right, I quit.

I think it's totally luck of the draw.

I think it's totally luck of the draw.

What I do agree with in most of these methods is that a sleeping baby means a sleeping parent, right, And that's what we're talking about today.

What I do agree with in most of these methods is that a sleeping baby means a sleeping parent, right, And that's what we're talking about today.

How we can sleep.

How we can sleep.

Save mums sleep.

Save mums sleep.

Yes, out of the way, Tissy Hall, here we come, save our sleeps. Clearly we've got issues. I love how we're like, oh, we're not going to talk about the kids sleep. All we've done is talk about the kids sleep because I think they're both so traumatized.

Yes, out of the way, Tissy Hall, here we come, save our sleeps. Clearly we've got issues. I love how we're like, oh, we're not going to talk about the kids sleep. All we've done is talk about the kids sleep because I think they're both so traumatized.

Well it's a lifelong trauma imprint in my brain. But you know, Teek, someone told me this beautiful advice once. They said, you know, it doesn't matter what you do, you can't spoil a baby. It's whatever works for you and your baby. And at the end of the day, they're not going to be still in your bed when they're eighteen.

Well it's a lifelong trauma imprint in my brain. But you know, Teek, someone told me this beautiful advice once. They said, you know, it doesn't matter what you do, you can't spoil a baby. It's whatever works for you and your baby. And at the end of the day, they're not going to be still in your bed when they're eighteen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So now on to actually our sleep, which was the point. How is your sleep?

So now on to actually our sleep, which was the point. How is your sleep?

M I am an insomniac, so that's interesting.

M I am an insomniac, so that's interesting.

How is your lack of sleep.

How is your lack of sleep.

I should say it's very consistent.

I should say it's very consistent.

It actually first started when I was pregnant with my first the hormonal change. It just completely hit me and I became an insomniac. And I've sort of dabbled in an out.

It actually first started when I was pregnant with my first the hormonal change. It just completely hit me and I became an insomniac. And I've sort of dabbled in an out.

Is it because you can't turn your brain off?

Is it because you can't turn your brain off?

Yeah? I will.

Yeah? I will.

Now obviously I'm not pregnant, but I still have insomnia and it is in a bad phase at the moment. And I think it's I get ideas that pop into my head in the night and I just start thinking and then going on different trains and thoughts and what have I got on work tomorrow?

Now obviously I'm not pregnant, but I still have insomnia and it is in a bad phase at the moment. And I think it's I get ideas that pop into my head in the night and I just start thinking and then going on different trains and thoughts and what have I got on work tomorrow?

And when am I getting the kids back? And you know, start doing.

And when am I getting the kids back? And you know, start doing.

The mental load stuff. And I think it all relates back to what we were referred to not long ago what Maggie Dent said to Kate Ritchie on Nova. She was trying to explain to fits in and Whip the mental load of a mum and how they're like, okay, kids are in bed, they're shower their fair, there's okay, they go to bed and they go to bed, whereas moms have life like this completely different wiring where we then lie down in bed and we're like, oh, did they eat enough broccoli?

The mental load stuff. And I think it all relates back to what we were referred to not long ago what Maggie Dent said to Kate Ritchie on Nova. She was trying to explain to fits in and Whip the mental load of a mum and how they're like, okay, kids are in bed, they're shower their fair, there's okay, they go to bed and they go to bed, whereas moms have life like this completely different wiring where we then lie down in bed and we're like, oh, did they eat enough broccoli?

Oh? I need to book my eyebrows in for the wax.

Oh? I need to book my eyebrows in for the wax.

You know, like all the things, or what did I do at my twenty first birthday? That was the best one that she said, because that's me. So I'll sit there and spiral about something I did sixteen years to go really, yeah, that's just a whole other diagnosis.

You know, like all the things, or what did I do at my twenty first birthday? That was the best one that she said, because that's me. So I'll sit there and spiral about something I did sixteen years to go really, yeah, that's just a whole other diagnosis.

Yeah, I think you should say someone but that mine's more current spiraling.

Yeah, I think you should say someone but that mine's more current spiraling.

So tis if you share a bed with a partner.

So tis if you share a bed with a partner.

I learned about a new methodology that you might be interested in.

I learned about a new methodology that you might be interested in.

It's sleep divorce.

It's sleep divorce.

Oh am, I divorcing my sleep.

Oh am, I divorcing my sleep.

No, you're divorcing your partner's sleep.

No, you're divorcing your partner's sleep.

So it's this Scandinavian method and it's like a sliding scale of things that you can try to save our sleep, which is what we've been really interested in need. So things like wearing an eyemask, ear plugs, Like I think snoring is something.

So it's this Scandinavian method and it's like a sliding scale of things that you can try to save our sleep, which is what we've been really interested in need. So things like wearing an eyemask, ear plugs, Like I think snoring is something.

Oh yeah, so I woke up this morning and my husband was not in the bed.

Oh yeah, so I woke up this morning and my husband was not in the bed.

Well that's a snoring. That's the end of it.

Well that's a snoring. That's the end of it.

Because you've got things like separate dooers so you don't have the fight. Separate mattresses side by side.

Because you've got things like separate dooers so you don't have the fight. Separate mattresses side by side.

Wow.

Wow.

And then the very end of the divorce is the separate rooms, which.

And then the very end of the divorce is the separate rooms, which.

Sounds like where you're at.

Sounds like where you're at.

Now, things are looking up.

Now, things are looking up.

Yeah, unfortunately for you. We've got an expert that we're going to chat to about it.

Yeah, unfortunately for you. We've got an expert that we're going to chat to about it.

Does a sleep divorce mean that I'm on the verge of divorce.

Does a sleep divorce mean that I'm on the verge of divorce.

No, It's all about bettering everyone's sleep, so you do have more of that connected intimate time.

No, It's all about bettering everyone's sleep, so you do have more of that connected intimate time.

It's actually going to save us from divorce.

It's actually going to save us from divorce.

I'm not an expert in that arena given that I am separated and divorce, so don't ask me.

I'm not an expert in that arena given that I am separated and divorce, so don't ask me.

Well time for the sleep expert.

Well time for the sleep expert.

Then, if you share a bed with a partner, you might be interested in trying a sleep divorce all around the idea of giving each person more freedom and better quality sleep. To explain this phenomenon, I had a chat with Rachel Beard, a sleep wellness manager at ah Beard's Sleep Wellness Center. Rachel, I am a divorced insomniac.

Then, if you share a bed with a partner, you might be interested in trying a sleep divorce all around the idea of giving each person more freedom and better quality sleep. To explain this phenomenon, I had a chat with Rachel Beard, a sleep wellness manager at ah Beard's Sleep Wellness Center. Rachel, I am a divorced insomniac.

Why do we need a sleep divorce?

Why do we need a sleep divorce?

The foundation of our health and well being is good quality sleep. And if your sleep is not long and uninterrupted as it should be, because your partner is either snoring, tossing, and turning. Maybe you have different sleep schedules and you're getting in and out of bed at separate times. But ultimately, if your sleep is being disrupted by your partner, a sleep divorce is more of an extreme way to help eliminate those disturbances throughout the night.

The foundation of our health and well being is good quality sleep. And if your sleep is not long and uninterrupted as it should be, because your partner is either snoring, tossing, and turning. Maybe you have different sleep schedules and you're getting in and out of bed at separate times. But ultimately, if your sleep is being disrupted by your partner, a sleep divorce is more of an extreme way to help eliminate those disturbances throughout the night.

But how can we protect that, you know, incidental intimacy that comes with sharing a bed with someone.

But how can we protect that, you know, incidental intimacy that comes with sharing a bed with someone.

Yeah, definitely, I think I wouldn't go from nothing to a sleep divorce because that's very well could impact on your spark or your connection possibly start smaller. Like the Scandinavian sleep method of the separate doners is another incremental drump that you you could implement to just test and trial to see if it works. If a couple is seriously having their sleep impacted by their partner's movements or snoring or sleep talking, I'm a big sleep talker, so my poor partner has to deal with that every now and again. If it's severely impacting your sleep quality, then looking at something like a sleep divorce is definitely something to consider. Without a good night's sleep, it impacts and manifests itself in every aspect of our lives, from our mood and our relationships, so yeah, making incremental changes, experimenting with new things is a great way to really prioritize your sleep and get better sleep for both individuals. Things like social media and TikTok have definitely increased the awareness and really helping to reduce the taboo around sleeping separately. Can I ask you a question analyse Yeah, of course, when you say you're divorced insomniac, can you tell me more.

Yeah, definitely, I think I wouldn't go from nothing to a sleep divorce because that's very well could impact on your spark or your connection possibly start smaller. Like the Scandinavian sleep method of the separate doners is another incremental drump that you you could implement to just test and trial to see if it works. If a couple is seriously having their sleep impacted by their partner's movements or snoring or sleep talking, I'm a big sleep talker, so my poor partner has to deal with that every now and again. If it's severely impacting your sleep quality, then looking at something like a sleep divorce is definitely something to consider. Without a good night's sleep, it impacts and manifests itself in every aspect of our lives, from our mood and our relationships, so yeah, making incremental changes, experimenting with new things is a great way to really prioritize your sleep and get better sleep for both individuals. Things like social media and TikTok have definitely increased the awareness and really helping to reduce the taboo around sleeping separately. Can I ask you a question analyse Yeah, of course, when you say you're divorced insomniac, can you tell me more.

Like I would be lucky to get four hours a night?

Like I would be lucky to get four hours a night?

Oh?

Oh?

I know?

I know?

Wow? Out of curiosity, do you track or measure or monitor your sleep in any way?

Wow? Out of curiosity, do you track or measure or monitor your sleep in any way?

No, I don't.

No, I don't.

I take sleeping tablets and melatonin really healthy.

I take sleeping tablets and melatonin really healthy.

Okay. We always tell people if you can't measure it, you can't manage it, and we sleep how many hours of sleep you get and how you feel when you wake up. It's hard to truly know what's going on in the middle of the night with all the rage of tracking devices and wearables and non wearables. Now it's a really great place to start to, like I said, really know how much sleep you're getting, how much deep sleep, how much rem sleep, and then you can kind of create a plan from then onwards on how to positively change it.

Okay. We always tell people if you can't measure it, you can't manage it, and we sleep how many hours of sleep you get and how you feel when you wake up. It's hard to truly know what's going on in the middle of the night with all the rage of tracking devices and wearables and non wearables. Now it's a really great place to start to, like I said, really know how much sleep you're getting, how much deep sleep, how much rem sleep, and then you can kind of create a plan from then onwards on how to positively change it.

What do we know about the effects of bad sleep on a relationship, because I think it's a bit of that chicken or the egg, you know, it's like, well, separate rooms, but we need the sleep. So if we're not getting enough sleep, how does this change for a relationship When we.

What do we know about the effects of bad sleep on a relationship, because I think it's a bit of that chicken or the egg, you know, it's like, well, separate rooms, but we need the sleep. So if we're not getting enough sleep, how does this change for a relationship When we.

Don't get good quality sleep as a whole? It has both short term and long term effects. So long term effects putting us at an increased risk of developing serious illness and disease like type two diabetes, heart attack, obesity, and depression.

Don't get good quality sleep as a whole? It has both short term and long term effects. So long term effects putting us at an increased risk of developing serious illness and disease like type two diabetes, heart attack, obesity, and depression.

Okay, great, my anxiety is now spiraling just hearing this.

Okay, great, my anxiety is now spiraling just hearing this.

Yeah, even my sleep.

Yeah, even my sleep.

Those are the long term, sorry, long term health impacts as well as short term health impacts, which is things like our mood and our energy levels, the way that we show up in our relationship with our partners, in the way that we show up at work, in our productivity. I mean, I know myself when I'm not well slept, I am irritable and groggy, and my ability to deal with stress is definitely not as good. So I think when you can physically relate to the feelings of a good night's sleep versus a bad night sleep and how they show up, particularly to the ones that we're closest with, like our loved ones. Unfortunately the ones that cop it the most, followed by the people that we work with because we spend so much time there. Highlights the importance of prioritizing your sleep and really wanting to do something to improve it.

Those are the long term, sorry, long term health impacts as well as short term health impacts, which is things like our mood and our energy levels, the way that we show up in our relationship with our partners, in the way that we show up at work, in our productivity. I mean, I know myself when I'm not well slept, I am irritable and groggy, and my ability to deal with stress is definitely not as good. So I think when you can physically relate to the feelings of a good night's sleep versus a bad night sleep and how they show up, particularly to the ones that we're closest with, like our loved ones. Unfortunately the ones that cop it the most, followed by the people that we work with because we spend so much time there. Highlights the importance of prioritizing your sleep and really wanting to do something to improve it.

And I think as well, like a really common time is when people have new babies. That's when you're most sleep deprived.

And I think as well, like a really common time is when people have new babies. That's when you're most sleep deprived.

Definitely. I think as women, we go through so many different hormonal changes that yes, really can impact our sleep. Pregnancy is one, being a new mother is another. But even on a monthly basis, with our hormonal cycle, as women, we actually need twenty minutes more sleep than men. Do we get that probably not. Do we need it, Yes, we do. When you look at PMS, for example, the symptoms are quite similar to someone that hasn't had a good night's sleep.

Definitely. I think as women, we go through so many different hormonal changes that yes, really can impact our sleep. Pregnancy is one, being a new mother is another. But even on a monthly basis, with our hormonal cycle, as women, we actually need twenty minutes more sleep than men. Do we get that probably not. Do we need it, Yes, we do. When you look at PMS, for example, the symptoms are quite similar to someone that hasn't had a good night's sleep.

That just must be made twenty four to seven.

That just must be made twenty four to seven.

We need to prioritize our sleep, whether we're alone, have a partner.

We need to prioritize our sleep, whether we're alone, have a partner.

This is just the most important thing.

This is just the most important thing.

It's the foundational pillar of health and wellbeing, alongside regular exercise and balance nutrition. We know so much about exercise and its benefits on our health physically, mentally, emotionally, as well as how important it is to eat a balanced diet. When it comes to sleep, however, what is good sleep and how do I get it? And the fact that how well we sleep directly impacts how we look, how we feel, and how we perform. We should really start with a sleep routine rather than introducing a new gym routine or starting a new diet.

It's the foundational pillar of health and wellbeing, alongside regular exercise and balance nutrition. We know so much about exercise and its benefits on our health physically, mentally, emotionally, as well as how important it is to eat a balanced diet. When it comes to sleep, however, what is good sleep and how do I get it? And the fact that how well we sleep directly impacts how we look, how we feel, and how we perform. We should really start with a sleep routine rather than introducing a new gym routine or starting a new diet.

I have melatonin each night? Is that bad?

I have melatonin each night? Is that bad?

Yeah? So melotonin it's a hormone that's naturally produced in the body, but it's only produced once there's darkness. So when we wake up in the morning, you open your eyes, light hits your brain, the melotonin production stops. Now we've introduced into the bedrooms things like TVs and phones and tablets and laptops, and that light, that blue light in particular that's coming from devices and screens suppresses the production of melatonin. So when doing that, particularly in the hour before bedtime, you're literally suppressing a normal bodily function that should be happening. Honestly, it is the simplest tip, but it is the hardest to implement. It's one hour before bed Be protective of that hour. No phones, no technology, no lights, like create an environment that helps induce good quality sleep. That is one that's cool, dark, quiet, comfy, and a mattress or a bedroom that's saved for sleep and intimacy only.

Yeah? So melotonin it's a hormone that's naturally produced in the body, but it's only produced once there's darkness. So when we wake up in the morning, you open your eyes, light hits your brain, the melotonin production stops. Now we've introduced into the bedrooms things like TVs and phones and tablets and laptops, and that light, that blue light in particular that's coming from devices and screens suppresses the production of melatonin. So when doing that, particularly in the hour before bedtime, you're literally suppressing a normal bodily function that should be happening. Honestly, it is the simplest tip, but it is the hardest to implement. It's one hour before bed Be protective of that hour. No phones, no technology, no lights, like create an environment that helps induce good quality sleep. That is one that's cool, dark, quiet, comfy, and a mattress or a bedroom that's saved for sleep and intimacy only.

Okay, I've very inspired.

Okay, I've very inspired.

If one hour is too hard, start with half an hour. Like any habit, we train ourselves into thinking that that's.

If one hour is too hard, start with half an hour. Like any habit, we train ourselves into thinking that that's.

What the norm is.

What the norm is.

So if you're going to bed and you're watching TV, or particularly you're doing work, or if you're doing anything other than sleep or intimacy is what we always like to call it. You're going to train your brain that when you hop into bed, it's wired. This is the time where I now doom scrollings. It's habitual and your body becomes used to it. So in order to change it, it's uncomfortable and it takes time. It is much easier said than done. But when I choose, for example, to turn the TV off, put my phone away, I love to read on my kindle before ben. When I do that, I genuinely feel the difference. So yeah, half an hour or ideally one hour, be protective of that time.

So if you're going to bed and you're watching TV, or particularly you're doing work, or if you're doing anything other than sleep or intimacy is what we always like to call it. You're going to train your brain that when you hop into bed, it's wired. This is the time where I now doom scrollings. It's habitual and your body becomes used to it. So in order to change it, it's uncomfortable and it takes time. It is much easier said than done. But when I choose, for example, to turn the TV off, put my phone away, I love to read on my kindle before ben. When I do that, I genuinely feel the difference. So yeah, half an hour or ideally one hour, be protective of that time.

I really do want to fix this.

I really do want to fix this.

I don't want to be taking sleeping tablets and I don't want to be living my life in half a coma.

I don't want to be taking sleeping tablets and I don't want to be living my life in half a coma.

I need to fix it.

I need to fix it.

Definitely.

Definitely.

Coming up on the.

Coming up on the.

Show, we hear from a mum who's scheduling dinner time a little bit differently.

Show, we hear from a mum who's scheduling dinner time a little bit differently.

I found this disruption. It was chaotic, chaotic.

I found this disruption. It was chaotic, chaotic.

We would get home and they would just beg me for food, kids dinner time.

We would get home and they would just beg me for food, kids dinner time.

My name is Amy Connor and I live in regional.

My name is Amy Connor and I live in regional.

New South Wales.

New South Wales.

Around my dinner table is my husband Shay, my daughter Mali who's seven, my daughter Indy who's five, my daughter Billy who's three, and my little one Body who is just about two.

Around my dinner table is my husband Shay, my daughter Mali who's seven, my daughter Indy who's five, my daughter Billy who's three, and my little one Body who is just about two.

I think the first meal I can remember being taught how to cook is just like a cheese toasty because I was pretty fussy kid. Cheese toasties were like my thing, and my mum used to sneak vegetables in there. Tube. That was the first kind of safe meal that I.

I think the first meal I can remember being taught how to cook is just like a cheese toasty because I was pretty fussy kid. Cheese toasties were like my thing, and my mum used to sneak vegetables in there. Tube. That was the first kind of safe meal that I.

Can remember making myself.

Can remember making myself.

I love baking and I love just using my imagination, so I don't actually follow recipes and I just bake from my heart and I just chuck things in and I throw scraps in there, like repurposing food, and I just loved that. I think baking is really my niche, but if it had to be like a dinner time meal, I love making Mexican like Mexican rice bowls. I just love your basic chicken snitzle like I love crumbing it and just like really making them delicious and juicy, and everyone eats that in my house. So we started making dinner time a little bit different. When Marley, my eldest, started going to school, I found this destruction.

I love baking and I love just using my imagination, so I don't actually follow recipes and I just bake from my heart and I just chuck things in and I throw scraps in there, like repurposing food, and I just loved that. I think baking is really my niche, but if it had to be like a dinner time meal, I love making Mexican like Mexican rice bowls. I just love your basic chicken snitzle like I love crumbing it and just like really making them delicious and juicy, and everyone eats that in my house. So we started making dinner time a little bit different. When Marley, my eldest, started going to school, I found this destruction.

I had to all get in the car and go and pick her up. It was chaotic, chaotic.

I had to all get in the car and go and pick her up. It was chaotic, chaotic.

We would get home and they would just beg me for food. The snacks that I'm grabbing are not good. I'm going to put my hand up there. I was grabbing chips, lolli's, all those things that I was having behavioral issues and all that kind of stuff. And I was like, this isn't working. Why don't I just feed them dinner when they get home. And I just thought, okay, so I'm going to start prepping dinner in that downtime at lunch when two of them were at least asleep, and then the other one is just having a bit of a rest time. And then the second we walk through that door after school, pickup, which is probably about three o'clock.

We would get home and they would just beg me for food. The snacks that I'm grabbing are not good. I'm going to put my hand up there. I was grabbing chips, lolli's, all those things that I was having behavioral issues and all that kind of stuff. And I was like, this isn't working. Why don't I just feed them dinner when they get home. And I just thought, okay, so I'm going to start prepping dinner in that downtime at lunch when two of them were at least asleep, and then the other one is just having a bit of a rest time. And then the second we walk through that door after school, pickup, which is probably about three o'clock.

If it's pasta, I'll.

If it's pasta, I'll.

Just reheat it. It's all ready to go.

Just reheat it. It's all ready to go.

If it's chicken snitzel and potatoes, I just chuck them in the air fryer and it just takes me ten fifteen minutes to heat up, and then they all can just sit down and eat, and they just eat their dinners so much easier. Doesn't really change the bedtime. And I always offer them, like we call it bedtime toast or bedtime fruit or bedtime yogurt, and they can have that and at least I know that their time is a full before they go to bed. I just want them to have like a really nice relationship with food, and I always have. So I'm not one to like force them to eat something they're not going to eat, just as long as they're eating getting their nutrition through the day.

If it's chicken snitzel and potatoes, I just chuck them in the air fryer and it just takes me ten fifteen minutes to heat up, and then they all can just sit down and eat, and they just eat their dinners so much easier. Doesn't really change the bedtime. And I always offer them, like we call it bedtime toast or bedtime fruit or bedtime yogurt, and they can have that and at least I know that their time is a full before they go to bed. I just want them to have like a really nice relationship with food, and I always have. So I'm not one to like force them to eat something they're not going to eat, just as long as they're eating getting their nutrition through the day.

Nailed it failed? Have you got a nail or a fail for me? This week?

Nailed it failed? Have you got a nail or a fail for me? This week?

I'm going fail?

I'm going fail?

Oh, so you kick it off? Go girl.

Oh, so you kick it off? Go girl.

So we had our chat with our sleep specialist Rachel earlier in the week, and then producer Grace and I realized how terrible we are and all sort of the things and learnings everything we're doing wrong, and we agreed we're not going to have screens for one hour before bed. So basically the rule is for bed, it's just for sleep and intimacy, nothing else.

So we had our chat with our sleep specialist Rachel earlier in the week, and then producer Grace and I realized how terrible we are and all sort of the things and learnings everything we're doing wrong, and we agreed we're not going to have screens for one hour before bed. So basically the rule is for bed, it's just for sleep and intimacy, nothing else.

So that was my favorite place to watch TV.

So that was my favorite place to watch TV.

Well that's what you can't do. So night one, I wake up. The next morning, I get a text message producer Grace my sleep routine last night, glass of wine, melotonin and Grey's Anatomy, all in bed, sliding scale emoji. I'll start being a new person tonight, and I said, I don't want to talk about mine, all right, I will Instagram sleeping tablet, melatonin, all in bed. And I was alone, but still managed to get the intimacy part right.

Well that's what you can't do. So night one, I wake up. The next morning, I get a text message producer Grace my sleep routine last night, glass of wine, melotonin and Grey's Anatomy, all in bed, sliding scale emoji. I'll start being a new person tonight, and I said, I don't want to talk about mine, all right, I will Instagram sleeping tablet, melatonin, all in bed. And I was alone, but still managed to get the intimacy part right.

I thought she said no electronics in bed.

I thought she said no electronics in bed.

So that was my nail. Then it was a nail and fail. What about you?

So that was my nail. Then it was a nail and fail. What about you?

What's your okay? So my fail is I'm trying to put off buying a thing. The twins' best friend at school got this doll for her birthday. And when I say doll, it's like one of those life.

What's your okay? So my fail is I'm trying to put off buying a thing. The twins' best friend at school got this doll for her birthday. And when I say doll, it's like one of those life.

Like a creepy newborn.

Like a creepy newborn.

Yes is it?

Yes is it?

We and poo oh, I don't know, but it looks real.

We and poo oh, I don't know, but it looks real.

Their best friend is obsessed with this doll, and like me and her mum laugh about it because they're like, oh, it's a bit chucky dollish, you know, her little girl's obsessed with it. And then of course my twins are like, oh my god, we need these dolls. So, like the mom sent me the website, I'm scrolling these dolls with Indian Sammy going why why do you want one of these? And they literally are the creepiest things I've ever seen. You can either get eyes open, eyes closed. They've even got like the little smooshy wrinkles around the eyes like newborns, you know how, they're like really pudgy.

Their best friend is obsessed with this doll, and like me and her mum laugh about it because they're like, oh, it's a bit chucky dollish, you know, her little girl's obsessed with it. And then of course my twins are like, oh my god, we need these dolls. So, like the mom sent me the website, I'm scrolling these dolls with Indian Sammy going why why do you want one of these? And they literally are the creepiest things I've ever seen. You can either get eyes open, eyes closed. They've even got like the little smooshy wrinkles around the eyes like newborns, you know how, they're like really pudgy.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

Anyway, so I have been using it as my bribe because these dolls are not check either. I'm like, she got it for her birthday. You got to earn this, but I'm trying to prolong it because I'm not sure I will sleep with these dolls.

Anyway, so I have been using it as my bribe because these dolls are not check either. I'm like, she got it for her birthday. You got to earn this, but I'm trying to prolong it because I'm not sure I will sleep with these dolls.

And you'd have to have two of them, having twins.

And you'd have to have two of them, having twins.

Too, and then you have to go shopping for the clothes because and the girls are like, because we want to practice being a mom, and I'm like, well I didn't practice. You guys just all popped out of me, and here I have to figure it out, like you guys can figure it out.

Too, and then you have to go shopping for the clothes because and the girls are like, because we want to practice being a mom, and I'm like, well I didn't practice. You guys just all popped out of me, and here I have to figure it out, like you guys can figure it out.

Do we need the creepy dolls and they come like you can get the cloth ones or the Silicon.

Do we need the creepy dolls and they come like you can get the cloth ones or the Silicon.

Sun and waited?

Sun and waited?

Yes, they're very heavy.

Yes, they're very heavy.

That's gross.

That's gross.

I feel like we should just ditch the nails and fails and just call it fails and fails fails upon fails.

I feel like we should just ditch the nails and fails and just call it fails and fails fails upon fails.

I think that's more on brand for us.

I think that's more on brand for us.

Well, thank you for listening to This Glorious Mess. We hope you've enjoyed the episode, and we'd love it if you left us a rating.

Well, thank you for listening to This Glorious Mess. We hope you've enjoyed the episode, and we'd love it if you left us a rating.

All of you, but only if you really like the show. Yeah, yeah, If you've got a dilemma you'd like Sarah Marita solve, you can leave us a voice note by following the link in the show notes, or get in touch at TGM at mamameat dot com, dot are you, or come jump on the socials and find us at this Glorious Mess on Instagram and Facebook.

All of you, but only if you really like the show. Yeah, yeah, If you've got a dilemma you'd like Sarah Marita solve, you can leave us a voice note by following the link in the show notes, or get in touch at TGM at mamameat dot com, dot are you, or come jump on the socials and find us at this Glorious Mess on Instagram and Facebook.

This episode was produced by Grace Rube with audio production by Lou Hill.

This episode was produced by Grace Rube with audio production by Lou Hill.

See you next week, see you next week and to the help, I have a teenager listener. If you liked this episode, there's a link in the show notes. See you over at this glorious mess.

See you next week, see you next week and to the help, I have a teenager listener. If you liked this episode, there's a link in the show notes. See you over at this glorious mess.