This week, Tammi Mac sits down with actress and public figure Kiki Haynes, and the conversation goes to places that are real, raw, and ultimately full of light.

Kiki lost her father in 2020 — during the height of COVID-19, when travel was terrifying and the vaccine hadn't arrived yet. Her mother, trying to protect her, kept telling her not to come. By the time Kiki finally booked the flight, her father was already gone when she landed.

What followed was five months in New Jersey — helping her mother navigate grief, trying to reshape a house full of memories, suppressing her own mourning to be the strong one, and quietly honoring a promise she made to her father at his funeral: I got mommy. Your baby's gonna be okay.

But this episode also holds something else. Joy. Expectancy. A bamboo season in full acceleration. Kiki describes waking up with tingles, believing her harvest is finally arriving after 40 years of planting seeds in the dark.

This is what Happy With Tammi Mac does. It holds the grief and the gratitude at the same time. It asks the hard question — what was the worst moment of your life — and then walks all the way through to the other side.

Topics in this episode include losing a parent, pandemic grief, caregiver burnout, delayed mourning, the guilt of not being present at the moment of death, faith and renewal, family loyalty, and what it means to be expectant rather than just hopeful.

If you are walking through loss, supporting someone who is, or simply trying to find your way back to yourself — this episode is for you.

Happy With Tammi Mac drops new episodes every week. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave a review if this episode moved you. It helps more people find the show.

Tammi Mac of KJLH Radio, is a veteran broadcaster . Happy With Tammi Mac is part of the Inflection Network.