Using Gratitude Journaling to Help You Spend Less

Published Nov 8, 2022, 8:00 AM

Whether you are paying off debt or not, we are all here to get a better grasp and to feel more confident about our spending. In this episode, other than repeating your mantras or affirmations, there is a far more powerful yet simple method to get things your way: gratitude journaling.

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Episode to fifty six, Using Gratitude journaling to help you spend less. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity right, and liver with your life. Here your host Jen and Jill. M m m m m m m m m m m m m m mmmm. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today we are so thankful to be bringing you this episode on using gratitude to help you spend less here in the month of thankfulness all throughout the year doesn't just need to be in November. There's so much gratitude to go around, and these articles are really good. They give some solid reasons for why to practice this and how to do it. But before we get into that, our sponsor today spilling the beans, cooking up a nice big pot of black or garbonzo or pinto beans and spilling some of those beans right over onto our plate. Today's sponsor didn't get too specific on the exact words they want us to say to express their message today clearly, but if you're interested in spilling your beans, we have empty plates, hungry bellies, and we're ready to receive, and by beans, we of course mean debt free stories. Whether you currently became or recently became debt free, or you're making big strides in that direction, we want to hear and share your story with this community. So head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash stories to begin the process of sharing your story. It's just a quick questionnaire and then it's going to be followed by recording your story for us. We cannot wait to hear it. Spill your beans, yes, beans stories, beans, I mean share your share your beans stories with us. If you if they've helped you pay off debt, we want to hear them. And even if they haven't, we really really want to hear them and share them. I mostly just want the juicy details. Jill wants the juicy DTOs bean spillage. I want the inspiration, all right. So, whether you are paying off debt or not, we all are here to get a better grasp on our spending, to feel more confident about our spending. And that can be made simpler with not these sexy rebate apps and budgeting tips and and all of that, but some of these peripheral tips. Some of these peripheral strategies, and we think gratitude journaling is one of those. So if you're kind of looking on the fringes with us, a few other episodes to queue up after this episode to twenty how to Buy Happiness. I had a friend listen to the show. He's listened to one episode and it was that episode, and ever since he's like, I think I'm gonna get myself a house cleaner to to buy happiness. And I was like, I don't know if you've got I don't know if you've got the point. But but thank you, that wasn't the whole point of the episode. So if that's what you take away from that episode, I'm so sorry. Um Or episode ninety nine, which maybe a little bit better, is contentment, gratitude and flexible minimalism within frugality. So that was a that we covered a swath of topics in that one. Uh so episode to twenty episode really good ones to cue up after this. But in this episode, we're going to talk specifically about gratitude journaling because I think, more so than like mantras or affirmations or thing that you just repeat, there is something powerful in writing things down. And I know you you see this and agree with this, Jill, Yes, Gratitude is certainly something that we talk about a lot in the mental health space, something that I recommend to clients all of the time, and yet it's still a good reminder for me that I need to be practicing this in my own life. I think this kind of annual time that we are approaching right now in November, where people's sites are on gratitude again, is a helpful reminder that this is still something good to be implementing, something that we need to have our sights on as much as we can know it in our minds. The actual putting it into practice is another thing, And I think it's because part of it sounds so simple, like there can't be that much to gratitude, But then when you actually engage in practicing this on a day, the weekly, monthly basis, we actually do see the benefits of it, and so I just I appreciate the reminders. I appreciate the tangible tips that can be associated with this. Of course, it's not magic, but it is one of those things we can add to our routine that really makes a difference for our mental health relationships financial health. The impact is widespread when we are able to engage in gratitude and like you said, Jen, different from just affirmations that aren't connected to anything that there's not a whole I mean, the research that's been done on affirmations, there's not much to point to super long term, deep benefits because and the reason is that it's not connected to anything. Just saying like you're you're great, this is you're you're super cool. I know that those aren't necessarily like the affirmations everyone is saying, but example, it's not tethered to anything. But when we're able to tether some of these reminders too, very real things in our lives, that's what's gonna stick. I know we'll talk more about this, but yes, gratitude, writing it down, reminding ourselves, engaging in this habit, we will see long term benefits. Yeah. So our first article is going to go into uh the some of the science behind why this helps with your finances, and then our second will be some tips for doing it and doing it sustainably. So the first one is from Thrive Global in its six ways practicing gratitude can transform your finances And what did you think about this? These different tips? I wanted to do like one that was just like scientific studies, But I really liked this one because it explained some science behind each of these different financial benefits. I think it's great. And at first when I read the article, like how are they going to give six things that practicing gratitude and how they help your finances? But then as I was reading through them, I do agree with really all of them, And of course they're all pretty inter related and interconnected, but I think that it's accurate that this is what practicing gratitude can do for our money, our financial health. Yeah. So the first one on this list is that gratitude reduces impulse buying. Uh, And it cites a survey that over half of Americans have made an impulse purchase of over a hundred dollars. And I would probably say purchase over a hundred, like probably not at once. Probably you probably make maybe a hundred dollars and impulse purchases each month, probably or each week if you're still starting out on this journey. But it's saying that practicing gratitude can do simpulse spending because gratitude actually improves our emotional reasoning regarding purchases and helps us act more rationally. So it kind of aids a bit in that decision fatigue because we have decided to be grateful. It's like that the one thing, what's the one thing I can do that makes everything else easier or unnecessary? And in this case it's easier because we're always going to have choices and decisions to make every day. But when you choose gratitude and you decide I'm going to be grateful for what I have, and I know what I have because I'm actually writing it down. I know all these things. It's not just like an abstract thought. Then you've already taken other decisions out that maybe should will this, will this improve my day? Will this make my hour better? Um? Will this make this incident seem less impactful? Or or us negative? So you've taken that decision off the table when you've chosen and decided to be grateful. Yeah. The second reason on here is that gratitude can help avoid lifestyle inflation. And I appreciate some of the history given to this concept. They reference that hedonic adaptation or the hedonic treadmill, has been written about since at least the early sixteen hundreds. In this concept that humans tend to return to some baseline level of happiness after either a positive or negative life change or life event, which can explain why lottery winners often report just months later after winning the lottery feeling the same level of happiness as prior to winning. Which maybe not all of us have won the lottery in our lives, but I'm sure many of us can relate to this idea of lifestyle inflation or lifestyle I'll creep that constant desire for a bigger house, a nicer car, newest iPhone. And this especially happens when we do experience increases in our earnings, our salaries, promotions, job changes, and maybe we are able to afford it, and so our level of spending just kind of keeps up with our level of earning or overtakes it, which is never a great thing for us. But by practicing gratitude, we can cultivate contentment, and contentment is going to ward off the feelings of needing more, those feelings of I I need this, I need to get the next thing, now I've got the money for it, I deserve it. It's going to subside in the presence of contentment, fulfillment, thankfulness, gratitude. We just don't feel the need to get more, or we are not thinking the next thing is gonna make us happy. If we are already in this place of I'm really grateful, I don't need to go after the next thing because I feel this level of oh wow, I'm I'm thankful that for this, I'm thankful for that. So then we're not necessarily as much in this mindset of envy or greed or wanting the next thing thinking that's going to provide for us. Yeah. We We just recorded an interview with Stephanie from Sustainable Minimalists and that comes out next month. But she just had this this like wisdom bomb, like that you know everybody knows, but like until you hear somebody else say it to you, it's like dang. But she she was saying, like, no thing that you can buy, or that no thing that somebody can give you is going to make you happier. Like that's no. Those aren't like things and think and things that allow you to get more things. Those do not increase your level of happiness. I can't tell you what's going to increase your level of happiness. It's very different for everyone, but when you are living on that kind of baseline, then it can really help put everything into perspective. I liked that when I was thinking of lifestyle inflation and the hedonic treadmill, because I mean, even still for me, there are some things where like if I get this, I don't necessarily think I'm going to be happier, but like I do, it's still good to even in gratitude and contentment, we we still want to strive for betterment. Gratitude doesn't mean complacency, but it does put into perspective what the hustle is all for. So I really that came into my mind as we were reading this. The third is that gratitude promotes and a abundance mindset, and I have mixed feelings about abundant that the phrase abundance mindset. I love the phrase growth mindset because I feel that growth mindset versus scarcity mindset instead of an abundance mindset versus a scarcy mindset, because you can try to come out of a scarcity mindset and still not experience the abundance that you expect, where all of our definitions of abundance are different, and so it can be deflating if you're like, Okay, I'm I'm rejecting scarcity mindset and I'm still not achieving abundance even though I have this quote unquote abundance mindset. So I would like to to reframe it as just growth mindset and growth mindset takes it's still the alternative to scarcity, but instead of having this perceived abundance that you might have, you probably don't have a cap on your on your mindset about growth. So I just think it breaks down some barriers to call it growth instead of abundance. But having gratitude does promote a growth mindset because you can, it says, it helps people go beyond their ego and fears about money put to jealousy and criticism aside, so you feel more positive and supportive of everyone's well being. So it's not just like I have to protect my slice of the pie and I can't help other people. I don't have enough to help other people. So it really does help you change your mindset for the better, and I like that it helps you. A growth mindset in particular helps you view challenges instead of viewing them as setbacks, viewing them as opportunities for growth and learning that I think is the biggest thing about a growth mindset that differentiate from scarcity and that really has nothing to do with abundance um and has everything to do with just getting on better, t better, etcetera. Number four on here is that gratitude helps you think about money in the long term, and they cite that gratitude can help you to resist the need for instant gratification and rather opt for some financial patients. I think that this correlates to other aspects of our life too, instant gratification in whatever way, and where gratitude intersects that is just a patience, a contentment of fulfillment. I found the study that they reference really interesting. It comes from the Association for Psychological Science, and it references that participants in the study were prompted to think about right about an event recently in their past that made them feel grateful or happy or or even neutral, and then they were presented with a choice of receiving an amount of money either now or a larger amount of money in eighty days. And the group that was asked to think about a piece of gratitude were more patient and resisted the instant gratification for the long term gains compared to the other groups who might have thought about something neutral or didn't think about weren't prompted towards gratitude at all. So so interesting that if you are to think about what does that look like in our daily lives, if we are regularly engaged in practices of gratitude, how that impacts all of our even smaller money decisions on a day to day basis. What what we do when we're feeling discontent, what we do when we're feeling envious. I mean, we can see this just in being on social media. Someone else's go going on a vacation. I want to do that. I want to do that now. I'm not happy, I'm not pleased with my life. Someone bought this thing, I want that too, versus waking up and having the first thing be gratitude for what we have. Can be tangible, but mostly it's gonna be the intangible in our lives, and we're not going to be as likely to go for those instant gratification items, but rather thinking more long term, what is my money going to get me that's actually gonna mean something to me that I'm gonna be grateful for that I'm going to value just another reason to practice this thing. And then number five gratitude supports good health, and it says research shows that gratitude can actually improve your health and prevent you from spending more on healthcare. So this is really interesting. I am. I hesitate from saying anything supports good health because I think that's kind of a smack in the face for maybe people with chronic illness, But I mean, definitely we can try it better off with it than without it. Um So, psychologists Emmons and McCulloch did a study where they had participants write about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week, and another group was asked to write about daily irritations. And after ten weeks, the psychologists found that the group that practiced gratitude not only reported feeling happier and more optimistic, but also exercise more and had fewer visits to physicians. So that was a ten week study. I don't think it's all encompassing, but all of these things are interconnected. So like when we feel good about ourselves, we want that to permeate into other areas. So I can't see how people who uh felt happier and more optimistic, exercise more, and that in turn definitely leads to better health. So versus maybe gratitude supporting good health, I guess supports is a good word, but it can help aid other efforts to pursue good health well. And I would say good health isn't from my perspective, isn't just physical health. It includes mental health and relational health and financial health. And there's a variety of ways of describing health, and so I would affirm that gratitude is just overall better for our overall well being. I think, you know, I can think about times when I'm with a group of friends and how much better I feel after an interaction where we've shared good things. Not to say I don't want to hear about people's difficult things that are happening in their lives. It's very important to be a support to one another, but I know that we all can get into spaces of just, oh, here's the awful thing that happened to me this week, and here's us and it's really more so just complaining rather than actually looking for supports in it. And it's just easier to talk about those things sometimes. But the times when we're in groups of people or just with a friend and we're able to share some of the things that we're grateful for even in the midst of difficulties. Man that it really is life giving, it's a boost, it's it's it's wellness for me in a lot of ways. So I think it just depends on the way that we're looking at it. Not too but yes, Jen I also affirmed this isn't like the cure for someone struggling with a chronic physical health concern. It's not just be grateful. Gosh, that is a slap in the face. And finally on this list, I really love this one as well, and I would affirm it that gratitude helps develop resilience. I often describe resilience as a muscle that can be built, and resilience is this concept of an ability to move through to a cult circumstances well to be able to come out the other side of them. I don't love the term bounce back because I think when we're talking about resilience, we're talking about going through something that is overwhelming or maybe even beyond one's capacity to cope, and there isn't a going back. There's a moving through there's a change that can happen, and there's the what's going on on the other side are we are we choosing strength and growth and empowerment and gratitude, or are we choosing and just like lie down in the dirt, get run over and and no one's gonna blame you necessarily, Like if you've been through a trauma and your your choice is to lie down in the dirt, like I don't know, don't you don't set up camp me. But but resilience is that concept of having that muscle that that kind of intangible strength, is that ability to kind of move through it, come out the other side and potentially have greater levels of strength and wisdom. And part of the key in that it is a very intangible thing where there's tons of research around it, there's tons of people who talk about how to have it, how to get it. At the end of the day, there's no exact formula. There's and and really you've got to go through something difficult in order to practice and build and stretch this muscle. You can't just like be on a great sunny sunshiny day and get resilient like it. Resilience does demand difficulty, but it can be built through this practice. One of the keys and it is gratitude. The ability to look at some of the kindnesses, the pieces that you are grateful for in the midst of it is going to be a vital component to coming out the other side stronger, more empowered. Yes, okay, absolutely so, now that you know why gratitude journaling is great for all the areas of your finances, you didn't even think about it. It's not the answer you wanted, it's the answer you need. Uh. We're going to give you five tips for keeping a gratitude journal And this is from the day one app dot com And this is I mean this is this was a really good article with really good tips. Yeah, we've we've talked about why it's good to practice gratitude and what we mean when we say practice gratitude. It can it can be a variety of things, but certainly it includes journaling. Writing things down is a way to embed the messaging. When we are able to pair thoughts with actions, are our ideas, the things that go through our mind. With that action of writing, which is physical, it's also visual because we're reading it, it's going to embed that message deeper. So we really if we want this to become a regular part of our lifestyles habit formation, then there does need to be action coinciding it. So here you go journaling, And the first step in doing this well is when we go to write something down to practice this concept of gratitude, we've got to be descriptive, personal and focus on on the positive things that I mean, gratitude just demands that. But this tip also affirms that reality that we can't our gratitude can't be untethered and and it is difficult to to have gratitude untethered. But we want to be descriptive, almost like we're becoming writers and authors who are disc driving in depth the way that the landscape looks and so the landscape of our lives. The way that we're going to not get bored with gratitude journaling or feeling like we're writing the same thing every single day is when we're able to be more descriptive, more in depth, taking a deeper dive into the details of what's going on for me though this week or today or in this moment that I'm grateful for that is impacting me as an individual. That's positive and so it's this shift from what's negative, what's awful? Where's the failed relationships, where's the money problems, where's this or the that, even in the midst of that. And it's not to discount those things, it's not to just be wide eyed, bushey tailed rose colored glasses. We recognize those things are still happening. But this active exercise, this practicing the muscle of even in the midst of those difficulties, though, what has happened in ing for you that you can be grateful for even connected to that difficulty, Like, Okay, there's a failed relationship, but what's going on in the midst of that that might be a positive thing for you that you're glad that's happening, or that you're experiencing or is a product of this event. And so being descriptive, personal and positive is going to help to change up the pace of the journal every day, but also in bed the gratitude even deeper. Absolutely, yeah, I love that loss of version reference, because for every ten positive things that happened to us, we remember the one negative. And I can tell you this for a fact. It's why we don't read our iTunes reviews. Why yes, It's why we have an assistant who reads our emails because of her every ten beautiful, supportive, really great reviews that you send. Does one person is like, we don't like the ads or we don't like their voices, and that, I mean, that's silly. So but it does affect us. So yeah, don't fight against it. Don't say you know, I'm better than that. It doesn't affect me. It does. So let's figure out ways to put up boundaries and to be focusing and more intentional on the positive. Alright, So number two, and this is my favorite one, and this is the one. If you're doing something, come back to me. Come I'll give you a second. Come back to me. Number two, don't go through the motions, and don't overdo it, because when we want to start something, you know, you go out and buy the bullet journal, you start the doodling, You miss cooking dinner because you're putting stickers in the planner. Want Yeah, but I use my planner. Don't don't overdo it. Don't overestimate your capacity for being able to gratitude journal, because that will only lead to either a dropping off and just not doing it, or going through the motions. Because you've set so much up for yourself, so much expectation, and you don't have the mental energy or time to complete to fulfill your own expectations. Uh and so and the author is saying they did the same thing. They cite this research study that, um, this person with a long name suggests writing less in your gratitude journal, but still under some sort of structure or schedule, and when you expect that and plan for that, it actually leads to more happiness than writing more often. Uh. And the author has said they felt like this has been effective. This is been effective in their journaling. So think about short and sweet. So this is like story for my life. I was doing really bad with taking my prenatal vitamin. I just couldn't like remember. So I had to habit stack it, which is connecting it to an already established habit. That habit for me, for me is playing um Solitaire, not solid yeah, solitaire, playing Solitaire in bed before I go to sleep. That's just my nightly routine. As I get in bed and I play a game of Solitaire and I go to sleep. So before I'm allowed to play solitaire, I take my prenatal vitamin and I don't have to worry about it. And so I was thinking, like, oh, that would be really good. I could take my prenatal vitamin and then do the gratitude journaling one question at night, and then I can play my game of Solitaire. That's how I would stack the habit and it would just be one question. I was looking for apps like gratitude journaling apps. There are so many. So if you find social media or something on your phone to be a habit for you, and you can download one of these apps and be like, before I can do this, I must do this. This is the gratitude journaling on the phone. It breaks down the barrier to entry because it's not like you're looking for a pen and a journal. You're already on the phone. So look at these. Just search for Gratitude in the app store and pick one, and you can stack the habit that way. They have some with a lot of questions, some with one question. Some you can choose the amount of questions. Try that and don't overdo it and really stick to number one in in being really intentional. When you do it, whatever you do it, do it well. Their third tip is related to Tim Ferriss's gratitude journal methods. I don't follow him, but here you go. This is the four things like us. He recommends focusing on focus on relationships, focus on opportunities, focus on great events, focus on simple things. So relationships, opportunities, great events, simple things. I think it's a decent prompt to consider. Like you're saying, Jen, but what what am I writing about? What am I saying? How do I avoid just saying my health, my family, my house every day? And your gratitude journal? And this is a way, this is a helpful prompt to kind of get into some of those greater details and for what's currently happening in your life? What are the current relationships that you're grateful for and what's and and taking it further, which goes back to that tip number one of being descriptive and personal. You know, not just my husband, my kid, my this, my that, but what about that? That's where we can kind of continue the train of thought and not get so just simplistic and repetitive. But who are the relationships right now? And what are you grateful for about them? What's happening in relationship with them currently that you're thankful for? What opportunities are happening that you're glad for what big events might have just happened or upcoming. And and then just simple things with simple things are you grateful for? And I love that one. I think that one is something that I often go to when I want to practice gratitude or I'm thinking in that more so in that space kind of getting down to the the really basics, like I'm grateful for a pen that works because we know what it's like when another pens in our house work. Or I'm grateful for right like just like the simple things. I think that's a fun way, and it's also fun to kind of think about what are the mound and simple things that just really make life more pleasant. Yeah, well that leads into number four, which I never thought about, but I really do love. Is you surprises as gratitude journal triggers. So whenever something important, surprising, or memorable works its way into your life, you can use the event as a trigger to jump into your gratitude journal. That way, you remember these things that that these good things that just happened to happen to you, um and be thankful for them, because if you don't write them down, you will absolutely forget them. And I think once we realize that the world is not against us, that a lot of good things are happening to us every day, I think that can really change how we interact with people and the world. And I love the idea of this. I do love that one. I think it's a great tip because we can often forget, just like you were referencing earlier, of the one negative thing can overshadow five positive things. But if we embed the positive to deeper levels, like writing it, like thinking about it, like putting action to it, then it's going to help our brains to focus on that more rather than the one negative thing. And lastly, another tip on here number five is that we could consider gratitude in the morning and reflection in the evening. So this is just another way to approach the day, another way to kind of implement this concept within a routine with an habit formation that you could put your gratitude journaling in the morning kind of alongside a cup of coffee or brushing your teeth, you name it. Think habit stacking, and consider some sort of journal prompt for the morning that that is gratitude, and then the evening could be a really great time for some of that reflection. We're wrapping up the day, we're thinking about what just happened, we're preparing for rest, and gratitude can be a part of that too, But reflecting back on what just happened in the day, what what went well, what didn't go well? How can I implement a growth mindset in those areas. So that's another really great way that we could frame just day to day. Yeah, I would say, if you don't think you can do morning and evening, definitely prioritize evening because there's more downtime in the evening. I know a lot of people are just rushing after hitting snooze three times, just rushing to get out the door in the morning. So yes, you can set your alarm five minutes earlier and accomplished this. It's not going to take a long time. But start small again, start small, start sustainably and build. Do you know what I'm rushing towards? There is the set pins of urgency on this one, and I just I want to run. I want to run towards it and just bury my face in it. Yeah, this is a habit I've I've implemented day, night, afternoon, it's so sustainable, it's so healthy. It's the bill of the week. That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage. Maybe your car died, and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. To Bill Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of the week. Hi, Jin and Jill. My name is Stiffy and I'm calling from New Zealand. About six months a guy started listening to the Frugal Friends podcast because I really wanted to pay off my credit card, but I didn't think that I earned enough to be able to. So I decided that my reward when I did finally pay it off would be that I could ring through my bill of the week. So, with all the things that I've learned from you, I'm excited to say that I was able to make my final bill payment on the credit card yesterday. Thanks so much, by Stephie. Oh my gosh. Yes, this is what we're here for. You didn't think you made enough to do it, and then you did it. You proved yourself wrong, and I love that. I also love this real time example of well, I don't know if it's habit stacking, but kind of it's I guess it's not. But it's like waiting for that reward to be able to do something like kind of motivation, yeah, yeah, gamifying it. Yeah, making sure that you get something accomplished before you're able to do something, which is related to what we're talking about today, which is so amazing, well done, and how honored we feel that this was your reward to call in to the podcast and share this. We are so privileged. This is why we're doing Frugirl Friends podcast dot com slash stories. This is why we're doing this, Stuffy. If you're listening, head there, we want to like talk to you more. But yeah, we want to be the place where you celebrate your debt payoff. And this is this gets us fired. I am so I think you means she means fired up. Everyone not fired. She can't she can't be fired, which is you know, a blessing and a curse. But yeah, I can fire myself, I guess, but I am fired up. Thank you so much, Stuffy. This is amazing and gosh, I hope you also do something else besides calling you your bill because you are celebrating. Yeah, all the all the celebration emojis are being sent your way. Um, if you are listening and you've got a bill, if the sending in your bill is a reward for something for you and it's motivation to get that thing done or that, I don't know, if you're just listening and you're like, sure, I'll dial that number. Either way, we're here for that. Visit frugal fens dot com slash bill, leave us your bill. We are ready for it, and we're also ready for cute. You know, there's an ad break between the Bill of the Week and the Lightning Round. So just people, I mean, I'm just imagining how people are going to hear it. All right, our editor he'll he'll yeah, I'm sure to you it sounded great. Just then, all right, what is something you are grateful for today? Right now? Today? And mine's actually changed. So I wrote down in the outline my health because in September my health was very poor and it felt very out of my control and it was it was mentally draining on top of being physically drained. And so I have I'm really really I'm just right now in like this new renewed like thankfulness for not living with not struggling with that consistently. So I'm I'm really thankful for that. But I so maybe it's just like I'm proud of myself. I took off wallpaper on a wall over the weekend and I primed it, and last night I could not stop looking at that wall. I was just staring at the wall. And Travis came over and he's like, are you staring at the wall? And I was like, yeah, yes, yes I am. I'm staring at the wall that used to be covered in horrible wallpaper and paneling and a heart border border with with hearts and it's white now and just sitting in the gratitude of a wallpaper free wall. Mm hmmm. Wallpaper is coming back in but unfortunately not that kind of not the wallpaper in my house. The wallpaper in my house is never coming back in style. I guarantee you it's already been through like things from the eighties have come back, things from the nineties have come back, and that's where it's from, and that has not come back with it. So I guarantee it's not making a comeback. Yeah, it's time has passed. There are just some things that were poor decisions and they quickly recognized it. But then then it was too much work to recover, so they left it. But there is a first layer of wallpaper in the bathroom from the seventies. I saw that could come back. I Uh. Similarly, I am grateful for progress on our renovations. And and this is an example of for me actively choosing gratitude in the midst of something where I am naturally pulled to and drawn to maybe the more negative side of things. Like what I can find myself saying is, We've lived in this house for over two years. And when we bought this house over two years ago, we said, the priority is the kitchen. We've got a We've we have to like I mean literally the cabinets were falling off the wall and like it was a danger zone. We we had to get a new kitchen, and we did got it. But I am over two years of living in this house and I don't have a kitchen, so like, so like I could focus on that side of the things, you know, just sometimes I do, just for example, hypothetically I could do that. Those are the things I could say, But instead I'm choosing to say, progress is being made and I am seeing steps towards this goal, and I am grateful for that. Progress feels so much better than stagnation. It can be very difficult for me to just want to be done with it. We are not done with it, so I'm choosing gratitude through through grittedity. It looks so good right now though, Yeah, then without cabinets or times better space. Right now it's a blank space with nothing. It looks ten times better than what it looked like when you bought it. Yeah, with Jack Kyle and white walls, it's beautiful. Thank you, Jen. I'm I'm gripping onto that gratitude. You should to be a booie to carry me through. And thank you so much for listening. We are grateful for you because literally, we probably wouldn't be doing this if we didn't have so many of you listening. So you are. You are literally why we are doing this, and we are so grateful to you. You are essential and because we are so grateful for you, we have extras that we offer people who want more from us, so especially for people who are paying off debt. We have a private community where we do monthly money challenges back to that external motivation UM and we offer accountability groups, so we want to congratulate one of our members in that group for a big one. This is from Tanaya. She says, having very little money and always feeling like we were on the brink of disaster growing up, I knew I needed to be more intentional with my money. As I made more, I spent less than I needed so that I can increase my philanthropic donations. Yet some of that was unhealed trauma and the guilt of getting out of poverty. Turns out I was still very much in poverty according to the National Fingers. Yet I had done so many things differently that I felt like I had excess, so I gave more than I should have. It was toxic way of looking at money, and I've since learned that spending money based on my values doesn't have to be emotionally triggering. So I saved up for a computer that would allow me to write while I'm on the road. Uh And until now I've been trying to use my iPad for writing, which wasn't a good plan. I also learned this month about the values of my goals and dreams and how to articulate what those goals and dreams are going to cost financially. I've created a breakdown model of what my ten year goals look like and how to achieve them and bite sized chunks and then waiting ten years and wondering why instead of what waiting ten years and wondering why they didn't happen. So this was great. This was from our values challenge Values based Spending Challenge that we did, well done, and I think it shows It gives an example of how even connecting back to our experiences with money and our views of money can really make big shifts and the way that we approach it, the way that we utilize it as a tool and as a resource. And yes, it's good to understand our values and it's excellent to be able to understand the full picture and the ways that money decisions that were modeled to us continue to impact us into adulthood and the ways in which we can shift some of that. And this is a fantastic example of of a win in that regard. Well done. Yes, So if you want to check out our monthly challenge community, head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash club to see everything we have going on in there. See You Next Time by Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Syrian Jill. I'm drinking from your favorite establishment, oh jen, mm hmm, a big grande pumpkin spice latte. Are you are you snapping for for Eric to bring you something right now? I didn't let you'd hear that. Of course I heard it. You snapped right and Eric. Eric came into the room because I think he heard that. We wrapped up the episode, even though you know, we always do a little bit of like a an additional little peep. That's why I have to lock my door when h So he brought me in an egg burrito and also from Linda and then and then, but my coffee was empty. So as he was walking out the door, I snapped. I don't know he did, he just did. And now he's dancing hear me, Oh I might have to leave. Oh God, but that ruined everything that I was going to say, So sorry, episode. I'm so it was better though. The best things are unplanned. Um. Yeah, you know what. My gratitude for making coffee at home. It diminishes my need to purchase it elsewhere. But I never have the need to purchase it from Starbucks. Ever. Like ever, I personally had stars that were expiring, and I was like nine stars away from getting a free drink. With a star, A star is like a reward point Starbuck. They rename sizes, they rename the point system. Okay, that's what you should that's good brand caught up. It's not as good as eye Hoops, which is pan coins. But I digress. But I have nine points away from a free drink, and my I had If you don't use your stars in six months, they expire. So I was like, Okay, I have to get nine more points, nine more stars, and then I can get a free drink. But I have to get it by Monday. Oh my gosh, Jen, that's that's the that's classic though, Like I know, oh, in order to say to spend it, but you wouldn't have maybe spent that money. So you did that just so you could get a free drink. But it caused you to have to spend more just so you can get that free drink. M hm. You fell victim to that market. I never said that I'm perfect, But also I don't stop at Starbucks that often. If my points were going to expire, Jen, I've got one thing to say to you, It's that you're going to make me. You don't need star No, well sure you don't need stars when you are a star. To shoo affirmation, you isshooting stuff you don't need to under starts. I don't know what something that is. That's definitely not going to get a copyrighted for that. Whatever it is, we're definitely safe. Love that gave bless you, bless you, dear friend,

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