Elvis Duran's After PartyCat puke, nightmares, and deadlines - oh my!
Put your heads together, and we're going to start to party and start part I'm ready to party the Elvis Duran After Party.
It's the After Party Podcast. We're all here. Let's start the podcast off with a call. What do you say? Yeah, well, this is new. I hope the phones work me too. They never work you see if they go on line nineteen scary. Let's see if Tim's there?
Hello Tim, Hello, good morning lady. How are you?
Good morning lady?
Oh lady?
Hey, so Tim, oh lady, we saw your text message. I loved it. May I read it out loud?
Absolutely?
Lady? Yes, okay, good.
I'm on my way to work now and have a report to at seven o'clock that I now will have about twenty minutes to complete.
Using chat jeppt to get me through it. Oh that's good. You can use that. Isn't that okay to use that? Guys?
It depends on the.
Can we back up a little bit? Why I want to know about this catvomit? Did you know it was there?
Or no? Let me let me let me actually back up a little bit further from when I went to bed and had nightmares all night long, like I was trapped in the night of the Museum movie, and I kept waking up, like you have those nightmares, of those dreams that are so real that you like wake up out of the dead sleep and you have to wonder was it really real or not? Right?
Yeah, I love and hate those Yeah.
Yes, exactly. So that kept happening all night long. I would wake up and freak out and then get back to bed and my dream would pick well, my nightmare would pick right back up where it left off. So I yeah, it's great, you know, happy Monday to me. So I get up after my last nightmare and I'm like, okay, I'm just getting I got to get to work early anyway, try to finish this report. How am I going to get it done? YadA, YadA, YadA. I roll out of bed and feel that warm, squishy substance under your foot that is like you're stepping on a pile of noodles, and I'm still not awake, and I'm like, what the hell is that? And I'm thinking, well, maybe it's just part of the namemare. Maybe I'm really not awake yet. So I reached down and grab this conglomeration of hair and vomit and cat spit deep into my hand, make it to the bathroom, brush it down the toilet, washing my feet. But now I'm getting in the shower and I'm even more stressed out because I have this report due. I'm having to spend ten extra minutes cleaning my carpet from where the cap vomited. And uh, okay, it was there.
It was everywhere, and I don't know a place that it wasn't, Tim Tim Tim Daniel is she's throwing up in the trash car.
I have cats down, but I've never reached down to grab it.
Oh my, I'm telling you I was not like I said. I wasn't. Only I thought I was still maybe asleep, trapped in this nightmare. But it wasn't a nightmare.
What's worstim, if it's if it's hot or warm cat hairball vomit you step on, or if it's cold because it's been there all night.
You know, I'm gonna say, And it's worse that's it's hot or warm, because if it's cold, then you then you had time to congeal a little bit.
The worst is if.
They do it in the place that you don't know the hair ball and you and you don't know they did it and you find it days later. It's this crusty thing.
Just there that Well, now that we've run all of our listeners off, let's get back to the story. So, so, now that you've tried to get yourself together and you rush to work as you have this report, do you decided to use chat GPT?
I thought about it. I thought about it, and I was trying to look up a company policy on using AI at our workplace, and I couldn't quite nail it down. There is so we have a pretty tight policy against it. The only thing we're allowed to use is uh, Microsoft Copilot, and that was that wasn't going to get me anywhere. I mean, I thought if I had time to just you know, maybe whip it up real quick on chat GPT, I would it would save me. But I just said, hell of And just I've been sitting down going through it and sending off the emails of why hasn't this been sent? You know this was do at seven am? Well, yeah, yes, yes, I'm quite well aware of that.
Actually, I bet I bet Tim if you told them the cat hairball vomit story, that would probably get you buy you some time.
Do you think you know in today's day and age, that's got to be the substitute for the doggate the homework I was, I mean, don't know any other way around it.
How did you get through this?
So I absolutely I pushed myself back from my desk for a while and just started basically hysterically laughing, like comically, like so overwhelmed that you know, it just becomes a comedy. It becomes a sketch show at that point where you know, you you reach and you grip and you claw so hard to you know, to do everything you've got to get done. And then it just comes to a point where I think you realize, hey, look this isn't going to happen, and like the comedian or the comedy part in me takes over and it just makes me laugh. And I've just been laughing like the last twenty minutes, like what a day. You know, not only is it Monday, but this is how it started and this is how it's going. I mean, I'm just ready for the next big adventure today. I'm just gonna keep a smile on my face and try to roll through it. That's all I can do.
Yeah, I see, you know, just been the wheels of bodily fluids.
Let's see what you're gonna step on next.
I guess yeah, I love.
That though, you know, you do have to just stop and laugh sometimes, even if even if there's blood spurting across the room and you've got a juggular, you know what I'm saying.
Sometimes Yeah, yeah, I mean sometimes it's just a mere flesh loan exactly. I mean, you know, a great coworker of mine told me an awesome saying that we actually posted in our cubicle of last week, and it says our problems are only as big as we make them. And I tell you, you know, I guess if stepping on a cat hairball and being late on an expense report is my biggest problem in twenty twenty five, it's not really that big of a problem, is it, you know. I mean it's first world problems.
Actually, you know, I think it's an excellent way of looking at it. I mean, shouldn't we all be a little more like Tim when we get pissed off? We get pissed off at these little things? Yeah, gandhi, what I just we've.
All had a pet and you hear that sound in the middle of the night, and you shoot up the fact that you did not wake up while the cat was hairball puking next to you, like it's very serious and points to the fact that your nightmare must have been horrible. So you really did get screwed on like every.
Level this morning.
Absolutely. I mean not only did I have the mummy attack in me, I had Dracula biting me. I had I got stabbed by some sort of unicorn horn after the Mummy broke out of the tomb and knocked over a big statue. It was crazy, It was crazy. It was like this all night long.
You have huge, wonderful dreams and nightmares. I want those.
Mine are boring compared to your, you know.
And that's the that's the sad thing, you know. None unfortunately, No, I mean.
All right, do me a favor next next, next time you have a morning like today, would you please text us again because you're just a total joy to talk to.
We love you, and I hope you have a great day today.
Absolutely, I'll do it. Thank you very much, you have a great day as well.
All right, let's hear it for Tim and his hairball vomit filled toes.
Sort of sounds like Danielle though, Okay, that's what your answer sounds like.
The night daniel has been coughing up hairballs all these years.
Augusta Ran after party
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