First of all, you don't know me. Were all about that high school drama, Girl Drama, Girl, all about them high school queens. We'll take you for a ride in our comic girl sharing for the drama Queen's Up, Girl Fashion. But you'll tough, girl. You can sit with us. Girl Drama, Queens Drama, Queen's Drama, Queen's Drama, John mc Queen's Drama, Queen's Cool. Hey, friends, we're gonna make podcast. We got season two, episode fifteen, Unopened Letter to the World Now. The original air date for this was February twenty two, two thousand five, and our synopsis it's the students of tree Hill High make a time capsule to that they expect to be open in fifty years. That's a long time from now. So Anna struggles with what to reveal about herself. Nathan continues down his downward spiral, and Peyton and Jake, who is there anything else to say but that go on their first date. Um, I'm blushing just thinking about it. And Brooke really starts to think about what she can do as president. I want to start this by saying I felt the Haley void, like we knew they were going to be episodes that Haley was not in enjoy It really bothered me a couple episodes ago when you said you felt like they were testing the waters to see if the show could float without you, And to me, the answer is a firm no, Like I really missed the energy that you bring, and it's it balances our dynamic in a way that I think is really important. Um, I missed you this episode. Thanks. I missed Haley in this episode two being able to be more objective now and sitting back and watching saw, I miss that. There's a there's a grounded nous, There's a grounded thread that she even in her ah, even in her confusion about where she is, who she wants to be, that what choices she wants to make, there's still just something grounded about her that I think helps with the tone of everything in the show. And yeah, Mr too, it feels weird everybody talking about her and she's not there to defend herself a check. Yeah, but you know what I will say works, I'm like, oh, yeah, the void we're feeling is the chasm that actually gives way for Nathan and Lucas to both be such a mess. You know, like like these boys are drowning without you, the romantic interest and the best friend. And so I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't. I don't like it. And I guess that's why the guy in charge aside. I guess that's why they were doing it. It like actually works. They're like, what happens if she leaves? And it's like all everything falls apart. It's really sad. I cried twice watching this up. Guys. There were no secrets left in this episode. It all came spilling out everywhere, big mess, a big beautiful And this was one of those episodes where they really tapped into what I think our show did at its strongest, which is when when they writing of all the vignettes tied together and you get this book end of Whitey watching his younger self. Fun fact that was Barry Corbyn's son with you know, a buzz cut playing young Whitey and and we all cried at the end when Whitey. But you see all these little moments like you know, you call Peyton, calls Jacob Fox, and then you cut to Karen and she says to Andy, he won't out fox me. And then Brooke and Lucas and Felix are talking about surprises, and then it cuts to Erica Marsh saying surprise and like all these little things they did such a good job kind of giving you these slices of life of everyone, and in watching it, you know the way the fans do. I'm like, look at all these people doing dumb ship with Haley around. Yeah mother from a side from Payton and Jake, that is you, guys, let's talk about it. I can't even that's seen in the hallway by the lockers. You smell insanely good today. My god, I was losing my mind Hillary discovering her face and you, by the way, trying to be cool and being like that's presumptuous. Guys. There was Zoro acting happy honestly and like we were such good friends. He friends owned me so hard, and so I would have to be like, yeah, cool, No, I'm definitely not looking forward to these scenes where we have to kiss you. Gross you're my friend, um. But everyone, including Greenberg knew that I thought he was the fucking cats put champ Hillary. I did, but even I had a boyfriend at the time, and Greenberg would like fly into Wilmington's and like be like, hey, can I like stash my guitar at your house, and I'd be like, yeah, sure, whatever you want, dude, Like my house is your house. Cool. My boyfriend would go from work, I'd be like, who is this get he's not hanging out here? Um is that guy that all the girls wanted and all the boys wanted to be because he's just effortlessly cool. He's so naturally masculine in that kind of like in that way that just makes you sweel, like the romance novel way that makes you swoon, the lean in and knowing how to say but it's not fake. That's the thing. We've seen it so many times, especially on c W shows, where guys show up and they do the thing that's supposed to be sexy they do they do the lean and the eyebrow goes up and they lean in the door frame and they're just like they look constipated because it's so forced. It is so natural from him, from from b G man. It just comes right from his gut. It's so good and it's not there's no push behind it. He's not trying to prove it, and like, isn't that swagger when somebody just is and it's low key and and he's a little quieter than everybody else, and it makes you want to lean in and listen. Last, is that what's happening? No, listen. He bashed at himself, and that's what's so great is that when he's like, hey man, I'm a single dad, I'm a high school dropout, I'm getting ready to go on my first day since my daughter was born. I'm a catch right. Yeah, you know that's how he is in real life too, Like he is able to laugh at himself in a way that disarms other people, and specifically for Peyton, who does have so many trust issues, who has so many walls up, what he is able to provide is like a really safe gentle I mean, in the bedroom, Jake finds condoms and it leads them not to having sex, but to having this really vulnerable conversation. And you admit it in the sweetest way that you know you're nervous, and he's just like, let's take it slow. Yeah. And you said it. I literally I wrote it down in my notes. You said, name a more perfectly scripted boy character. Enjoy and I both went, can't honestly like the Boys on Creek, The Boys and Girls you know, on like any of the other shows. I'm sorry Jake Jagelski gets the trophy. He's kind of cool. Yeah, okay, cool, you told him he got cool points for that, and he is. You know, we obviously love Jake Jakalski very much, and it's a lot easier to come in and play an of a really great character than it is to like, I have to do it every single episode for ten years. You know, the other boys really got put through the ringer because it's like, how do we constantly find interesting things for them to do? And so because Jake was limited to you know, what is it three seasons, you know, his stuff is really quality, it's really controlled, and his narrative is strong, and he never has to do any like weird b storylines that did never have to eat a heart. Yeah, it's like he doesn't have to do any dumb so he can just stay true to who he is without having to be like, what are we going to do this week with Jake jael Ski. Um. But I think that conversation in the bedroom was important and I appreciate that a lot of the concerns we were voicing about teenage sexuality were heard and that this is an example of that where it's like, oh, maybe the girls will commit more to their storylines if, like, we try to portray an accurate version of what teenage sexuality is, and so you can have lost your virginity in high school and still not be like a sex machine. You know. The idea that Peyton is is specific in her. Look, I did this, That doesn't mean I'm going to do it every time. Yeah. I love that. I love setting that example. Yeah, And I think that's a really important thing for us to look at because you know, um, we we listen to you guys, and we read all your questions and we read all your feedback, and um, somebody said something that got us all talking offline about how, you know, some of the ways we've talked about our character's experiences made somebody think like, well, am I supposed to be ashamed that I had sex in high school? This was a good I'm a listener, and you were like, oh my god, No, that's not the point. The point when we talk about this stuff is that we, as young women, we're being put in sexual situations. We didn't agree to buy a bunch of men old enough to be our dads and it felt very upsetting, and it felt like a lot of that um, a lot of that stuff, especially for Brooke Davis certainly at moments for Peyton felt like grown male fantasy of teenage girls and it was hard for us. And I think that's why we find like the Haley and Nathan becoming an intimate sexual couple to be beautiful and it's and it's exactly why I'm so glad that you said what you just said, Hilary, because it's like, look, you do what you want to do, but don't let anyone in the world say that because you're not ready, something's wrong with you, or because you have you're just supposed to be ready for it all the time. Like that's not how people are. And it's it's so nice, I think for us to be getting to a point where these characters are becoming more real women with real complex experiences rather than like, you know, tiger beat poster girls in cheerleading uniforms that like, yeah, like gross. And so suddenly I feel like I'm actually watching teenagers again and it's it's so sweet, and all of guys think that all started to happen. I mean, I know we were sort of putting up fights and having conversations. It wasn't always a fight. Sometimes it was a conversation. Um, there were maybe more women in the writer's room. I'm not sure. Maybe you guys know more about what was going on there than I do. I mean, I think that our performances are better when we're doing things that we like. Do you know what I mean. It's like there was a certain element of, like, let's play to each other's strengths, whether that's in the writer's room or that's on set. And so I can see in us as young actresses on the show. I can see in the boys, like in Chad's confessional in this episode when he's talking about the brothers stuff. Chad loves his brothers in real life, and so Chad talking about brotherhood in this episode that's real to him. And that performance is great. And so for us Brooke Davis doing the leadership stuff and like and like being inspired and being more that's real, and talking about these major trust issues, that's real. You singing is real, you know. So the things that we that we got to explore that we're closest to us, I think are the things that we really thrived in that's a great point. So if you really came alive as Brooke in a new way, I think not. I don't know if it's been I feel like it's been happening over the course of the episode, but I saw something different in this one of and I loved how Lucas was encouraging brookes uh in intellectual growth and just the way that you It was seeing Brooke turned this corner in her life and realizing that she's worth so much more, which it's again, it's not something that we've never seen her have this moment before. I think I was just really recognizing her sink into it for the first time. Do you have memories about this episode or what how the storyline started to change for you once she became class president? Yeah, totally. I I felt closer to her, and I remember shooting that party and and you know, hill Or you were like, why are there all these goth kids there? Random topic threw up every customer time North Carolina, and they're like, send them to the tree Hill set, we need more beanies, we need fishnets. It was great, and I think you know, they did it to make it very clear that this wasn't like a normal Tree Hill party. Everything looked different than music was different, and I remember how sweet it felt. You know. We were at the point where like we couldn't totally go out in town anymore without being, you know, being recognized and like things happening. And I don't know, this isn't a judgment of the people who recognize us for being on TV. This is my my feelings as an anxious person. That was that got really hard for me, Like it gave me a lot of social anxiety, because yeah, and I think I've done enough pondering on the privilege of being in people's homes with them, But what happens when you're in someone's home with them every week is that you're real familiar to them, but to you, they're still strangers. And it got very strange for me. The combination of being familiar and also of being Brooke Davis, who was very sexualized. A lot of people would touch me in ways that made me very uncomfortable, and it took me years to figure out how to start setting boundaries around that stuff with strangers, because I never wanted to ruin anyone's day. But I say all of this to illustrate like it tugged on my heartstrings seeing Brooke and Lucas and Mouth and Anna kind of find their way to that side room at the party, and Brooks seeing Erica like that and going, I'm not having a good time, and I know I've been there and that's not a good time either. It all just felt cathartic for me, and I've so often been the person who's gotten other people home, and just like Camp counseled my way through things, and yeah, I don't know. I I loved being at this point with her where she didn't need to like be the party, cheer everyone on, make everyone take shots. She was like, I'm actually just not feeling this and I want to go home and read a book. She was excited to get home and just flipped through that book the Lucas gave her, and then the memo of like the quote that she's reading, you know, she's talking about, you know, don't let the things of the past get in the way of the future. And Lucas has given her this beautiful book that is looking to her future, her presidency, and Felix has thrown her this like raging weird party's very much her past, and these boys are now embodying past in future and so we know what she's gonna pick. I love it. I love it and and and I think she's finding purpose at the same time as Lucas is really reclaiming his nobility. You know, he was a character who lost his way in season one, and here he is being a good guy and he's showing up for Keith, and he's showing up for Nathan, and he's showing up for Haley even while she's gone, And that that trajectory for them feels so much more rooted in integrity than like two people who just decided to hook up a year ago. You know, it's kind of cool. Well, sometimes you have to take a couple of steps back, do you know what I mean. There have been people in my life where it's like, oh, we kissed, and they're like, what an asshole? And then you don't talk for a little while, and then you come back and you slowly rebuild. Yeah, it's like, oh, actually, there are things that are lovely about you that don't involve you know, swap and spit and let's you know, get to know those things. And I think Brooke and Lucas are a great example of that. Because it was real hot and heavy, real fast in season one with no line, real payoff, you know. Yeah, yeah, I just I like it. And Brooke Davis and then an Ubert. I don't know what else to say about it. God, it's coming, d W. I Safe just launched that app, and we can only hire drivers that were like student government presidents because we know they will sexually assault. I'm so weird it out with like, you know, pick up apps, because oh my gosh, you know, I see all the news and I'm just like, this is the worst. I would love for a high school senior who just needs like a job to pick me up, that would want to be very sweet. Yeah. I just love that she saw Erica in that place. God, and I love Brook and Erica together. I love them. I said watching it, Wow, what a great team. They're so good. And this idea that she took Erica home from a party and came up with this idea. You know, She's like there has to be something here, so she sits working on her laptop and comes up with a safe ride program. I just love it. And the Felix party, Like, is he part of like a secret weirdo club? Because because there were so many Randas at the party at West Find all those people we went to the Molly went to topic. But it was such a weird scene for a high school party too, because they also all seemed older in a way. But it wasn't college kids. It was like the coffeehouse kids that do slam poetry. I mean literally who I hung out with in high school. But in terms of weird parties for tree Hill, it was weird. Also interesting that Anna had no feedback about it, Like they didn't write Anna having any sort of commentary or judgment on her brother's friend, which now in hindsight feels like a miss. She's just like, this is Felix. Felix is a freak, dude. I'm telling you you're probably what if he's dancing with glow sticks in his basement like when he leaves, like the flaming balls on strings. But remember host also like beat box when we were when we be filming. Oh yeah, that's right, he's just downstairs with glow sticks like beatboxing. Weird stuff ever went to in high school? It wasn't really I didn't really get invited to a lot of parties, and well, Joy, you were working on a soap opera. You were adult things. Yeah, I was a little bit of a grown up. Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to remember. Oh you know what I did do? Um. I remember spending I hung out with Jessica Beale and her seventeenth birthday in New York because we're both on we were both Why was I Why was I in that circle? I can't remember because I wasn't on the show yet, but it was, but I was. I think I was eighteen or nineteen. I think I was on a soap at the time. Yeah, and yeah, it was like an all night I remember going it was she had a limo and going to different clubs and she was a sweetheart. I loved her. Yeah, but I just remember it was like at four o'clock in the morning, us the limo pulling over and going into another club and I was like, oh, guys, I'm going home. I can't. I don't do this stuff. Have fun, bye bye, because so late. Yeah that's tomorrow you did tomorrow morning. You did great. I really lasted as long as I could. But that's I think that's the craziest thing. I remember the wildest night when we hit up a lot of different places. Yeah, like the weirdest party that you ended up. I don't even know. I mean high school for us, because I went to that little all girls school and then there were like other all boys schools around and so there it was always like a house party where people would get together, and then it was always a big deal. Like we were going from Pasadena and the kids who like went to Loyola downtown, they were like kids from the West Side who were to go downtown. But we wouldn't go downtown, but we they're like, that's where one of the boys schools was, and so it would be like, oh, the West Side boys are having a party in the Palisades on Saturday. And I was always the designated driver. I was always like, my mom will kill me. She's scary. I'll drive and I've yeah, no, truly, I was just like, pile in the truck, let's go. I believe that Maureen is no joke. My mom was so scary, and my my mom was just like, if you and you're ever going to get one over on me, you won't. And if you ever get drunk at a party, don't trust your idiot friends. Call me and I'll come pick you up. But you only won't be in trouble if I come pick you up. And I was like, well, I'll get in trouble or my mom will come pick me up, and that's social sue. So I just can't do this. I think I got drunk like five times in high school and oh my god, you got drunk high school? Uh? I was just outside of Los Angeles. Kids were getting drunk like every night. I was like, everyone made fun of me for being so like when we lived there, people were like the kids in l A do cocaine in middle school And I was like, what you got right there? What was your crazy party? But see we go to the West Side, I'm trying to think a crazy part. You know, parties after shows, come on, rap parties, let's get crazy. I mean those weren't necessarily wild. When we moved to Wilmington' That's when my party game was like strang um because we were like people had snakes and we were you know, like it was a whole scene. Well, and you came from New York where the bars are open till four and year, so you were like you were from party central. I would say the weirdest party I ever went to was when I was like eighteen or nineteen at MTV, and Gideon Yego, who did news on TRL, was well I wish, and I was like where Gideon Diego was the Jake Jiguel Ski of MTV, like perfect dudes. He went to Columbia. He was so smart, he did like Rock the Vote, like he was just so cool, like beyond cool and so handsome. And he invited me to like a party in an abandoned building, and I was like, okay, I had a boyfriend, of course, and so we go to this like already you know, in an abandon like I'm pretty sure, like there was no power in this building, Like it was so weird. And we rolled up and everyone was like rave dancing and it was like really like thumpy music and also like plastic all over the place, just like the walls, and it was like a Dexter kill room. It was so fucking weird. But Gideon is the one who introduced me to this scene, and I was like I have to pretend like I think this is so cool. He's so cool. Um, And I remember like leaving being so relieved that I hadn't embarrassed myself, like when you're in a scene like that, all you want to do is escape without being the butt of the joke. That's it. That's when you're young and you're at a party like you, especially that age, you're just and the person who you put on a pedestal invites you. You're just like, how am I going to get through the next two hours of this? I have sometimes in situations like that, it's the anticipation that kills me, Like, oh man, I recently met someone who I just think is so cool, and I've thought that this person was cool forever. I can't tell you, guys, well, i'll tell you're gonna I'll tell you after, but I'm not gonna tell the world. And I and I was like, we have this one thing in common and it's kind of weird, and I'm gonna come up with a really funny joke and it's gonna be great. And then we met and we had the best conversation, and then she brought up the thing and completely in the in the most charming way, like undercut the opportunity for the joke. But I was I had been thinking about this joke for two weeks, and so I told the joke anyway, and it was got you guys have got so weird. She just kind of looked at me, and then I was like, well, you know, I just was I've been thinking about that for a while. A note now, I said, I just started like, you guys have got weirder and worse. And so I guess the moral of the story is that my awkward parties were not in high school. They're happening to me now as adults. I'm not allowed. I'm not allowed in public anymore. I'm just not oh so much. It was bad for different of us. Sometimes it's Sophie's mystery friend Getty Jego slash in a Dexter murder geek out for who is it? Do you know who? I who? I geeked out about? He lived in an apartment building right now, That's right, Okay, never mind anyway, secrets cannot talk about You guys can't know about this stuff. But I did have. Here's one funny thing I do remember when I lived in when I lived in New York, and I went to a party for Nantucket Film Festival because I was doing a reading at the Nantucket Film Festival, which they never invited me back to because I was weird. That was so geeky about everybody there. But I was like, I remember talking. I had this very serious conversation on a balcony of a New York apartment with a massive view over to Rebecca, you know, of the river. And I was talking with Fisher Stevens out on the patio for like minutes and he was great. And then I walked inside and I started I started talking with Tate Donovan and he gave me his number, tat babe, I know. And then I went home. And then the next day I was like, okay, okay, I'm gonna call I'm gonna call him, and I did and he left a message and I thought it was very charming. And then he never called me back. Oh, because I was not charming. I was so awkward and so like babbling over myself and just had no bet you were. But I know, let me tell you the thing about when I run into a man that I am attracted to, all my like cool, laid back joy goes away and I suddenly become like, I don't know, my tongue doesn't fit in my mouth, I don't know how to talk, I don't know how to stand. It's just stupid. What am I do with my body? Let our arms? Where do they go? No? Forget about it? Oh well good, all right, so we're gonna throw some really comfortable parties, ladies, after all the awkward party and we've done, Hey, we should take this opportunity to say we're gonna throw a really comfortable party on March with Brand Greenberg, and we hope all of you join us. I just wanted to throw that in there, just like a slide into home base. Just you know, slide it in and you can get tickets to our wonderful party on looped live dot com. That's looped l o O P l i v E looped live dot com. Okay, we we had a thought about something we need to talk about and we came up with a way to do it. Okay, so now that we've established we're all terribly awkward at parties, I want to talk about my two favorite awkward people at Felix's awkward party, hands down Anna and Oh Yeah I love them their little friendship and them breaking into the school. And then decided when when malcoes it would be wrong to watch this right, maybe just a couple of minutes. Oh my god, really Brooks confession that she would be with somebody like Marvin Senator and that's priceless. I j I U no idea. Caught me so off guard that when Brooks said it, I felt like I was mouth and I was like what, yeah, Oh my god. And then when he says to Anna in the hall at the end, he goes, just don't hit on Brooke, I have enough competition for her. That was, Oh my god, dude, their little friendship. But I just I thought Daniella did such a gorgeous job in her confessional and then the opportunity to have it again and for her to lean into who she is and and be clearer about why she doesn't like the labels and how she doesn't have the answers. God, I just thought it was beautiful. Man. I love that the message of this one thing doesn't define me. That I thought is really powerful and beautiful and so much better than her original confession or moment or whatever you wanna call it with the with that camera. I just read this really wonderful editorial that was posted on Twitter, so I wish I knew who actually wrote it, and it was about gay characters on television and how you know, we're almost twenty years out from when this episode originally aired, and some things have changed, which is awesome. Some things have not, and we're seeing a lot of that right now play out in the news and also in television. You know, there are more gay characters on TV now, but that doesn't necessarily always mean that they're better um or that they're well written. And a lot of times gay characters can be used as like the punchline. Um. They can be used as just kind of like checking the box, and that's really frustrating. And so there was a writer who was talking about the gay characters that make an impact to her as a gay writer, and she was like, it's the ones that don't have it figured out, you know. It's it's the characters that are in their process of discovery and who are a little bit messy. And I appreciate that Anna doesn't just come out swinging, you know, and allows room for discovery because when you are a teenager, I grew up with kids that have known since they were very very little, and that's awesome, and I want that kind of reassurance and self awareness for my friends. But there are also people who arrived at it later and really struggled because high school is all about being performative, right, and so if you're not performing something that's true to you, it gets very muddy. So that process of discovery is really important. And gay characters on TV that take the walk with the viewers are vital. And Anna, I love her for this, and she's just so earnest. There's nothing false about Daniela No, And I loved the I loved the earnestness and the nervousness in her first past. You know, hopefully if fifty years from now it won't be a big deal I'm bisexual, if it's still a big deal, surprise, you know, like, what's what's it all going to mean? And then she realized that that that wasn't what she wanted to say. And in that second past, after she admitted to mouth, oh god, when she said, I thought I'd feel liberated and said I'm back here, I'm back in the closet. Sweet, it was just so sweet. And you realize that it's for so many people in this moment of life, whenever they're coming out happens, it's it's a little bit of coming out and then a little bit of back to safety. And a little bit more, and you've got to test the waters man. Yeah, and see if you have a safe person, if not even a group of safe people, do you have one safe person? It's so valuable this the message that it's okay to be messy and and take take your time and explore and you don't have to have everything right and sort it out right now, especially for high school. Oh god, and this measure of perfection is just so tough. We would have we we really just see you guys at home not have been trying to get Danielle on the show. Unfortunately, she's kind of like in demand right now and she's like working, so we're trying, like literally every episode, we're like, can we have her now? I would have loved to have her for this um yeah, because I know I feel like we should talk about this episode with her when she finally can make it work. Yeah, Yeah, that'd be great. It's just so good. And you know when you said that thing, Joy, you just reminded me when you said it's so important to show people it's okay to be messy. Everyone's a little bit of a mess in this episode, and some of it's painful, you know, Nathan's in pain. Some of it's beautiful, you know, Jake's trying to figure himself out, and Peyton's trying to figure out if she can be vulnerable with Jake, and and they'll figure Outrell. But I love these kids just trying to figure it out in this time capsule, and and even Brooke trying to figure herself out, saying, you know, there's this double standard and it sucks like guys are allowed to be like this and we're not. And God, I hope you guys fix that because it makes it really hard for the girls to figure it out. Brooks time capsule monologue is so dope. Get to do monologues often. It really felt like going back to theater because everyone was assigned I'm gonna do my monologue and you just had to sit in that room and you had to do it all in one past, you know. And Brooks monologue it was awesome because you just see like boss Brooks show up. Yes, I loved it. I wish Haley had gotten a monologue. You never did one as like a no. I wish they would have like had me mail one in for the school or something that would have been fun. What would Haley have said in her monologue, Oh look at that point in her life, She's kissed sweet sweet pillow lips. Chris Keller. I think Haley would say, Um, I've I've always worked really hard, and I've always tried to do my best and be the best person that I could be. And I've gone off the example of my parents and so many people around me, and I take all the cautionary tales around me that I see and I put them in my arsenal of what not to do. And I am the person that everyone comes to for advice. And the truth is, I'm just a scared little girl and I don't have it all figured out, and I needed to take a minute and be reckless and be brave in a way that I've never been and be unsafe. So that's what I'm doing right now. And I really hope that there's forgiveness waiting for me on the other side. Oh, you don't even need forgiveness. You don't even need, but you know what, Look, people get hurt when you're messy, and you have to apologize for that, and that's okay. I think that's part of life. I think actually forgiveness is an incredibly integral part of a functioning society. You have to be able to admit when you've made a mistake, because we all do, and then be able to forgive when someone has hurt you because you've made a mistake. That is a basic functional need for any community, any person. It's it's not a magic thing. It's a choice. So when Hailey went away, like this is something that's going to hurt Nathan, everybody says it, you can it coming you as joy? How did you feel about Haley's action of leaving? It was hard. It was hard to support her because okay, so me as joy when I was twenty, or me as joy now when you were just when I was twenty, I mean, yes, when I was twenty, it was it was hard because I so much was Haley and was trying to do everything right and wanted to set the perfect example and didn't want to do the wrong thing, and I wanted I just wanted to I cared about trying to be perfect. Me now definitely does not care about done. But so yeah, by um, I care about living a life of gratitude and and um just soaking up every moment of every day that I can with the people that I love, and um, just trying to do the right thing out of out of a place of gratitude, not out of a place of trying to check off all the boxes. Yeah, and uh, that's the major difference. It's very Valjean and Javert. We really joy. One of these days we're going to like reenact our lay Miss performance. Oh my god, when did we remember we did that? We ran through lame Is in like six minutes, it was, and it was in Haley's apartment. It was for one of our PA's birthdays, r p A Dawn. It was her birthday, and we were like, we're going to perform the entirety of lame Is in six minutes during the turnaround, and we did. And so one day we'll redo that. But I see what you're saying, like you're you're softened now, like Jean Valjean from Miss. Yes, It's like I was hard and I was, you know, angry, and then I was I was also trying to live live exactly right and do everything exactly the right way, which is very legalistic and that sort of religious mindset. And now I think I've changed my my I know I've changed my perspective massively. So now it's like I've I feel like I'm living under this umbrella of grace where I'm just like, okay, so i can be a mess and that's kind of the point and I'm doing my best and I'm just super grateful. So that's it. Anyway, we're kind of getting off track. Sorry, but I'm I just feel like watching Haley walk away with Nathan, I give her space for that. Now. Back then it was it was a little harder to to very long windedly answer your question, Hilary. Yeah. I mean I can see like because we were there, I mean, we're friends with you when we were twenty two years old when we were doing this. Yeah, and in my head I can hear you being like, that's not what a wife does, Like yeah, I would never you know, like you have always been um firm about justice and like gritty and so I can see you like reading the script and be like what the Yeah, yeah, interested I've room for now you gotta make space for you also got to go on tour, so you know, I was just going to ask what was it like, because it's not like you were just sitting at home being like I can't believe. They wrote that, like, you were on tour. Yeah, it was super cool. You were out doing something cool, was it? But was there like a conflict in it? Or was tour just so all encompassing and you were betraying James? No, but I missed him. I know. I didn't feel like I was betraying James. I had a blast. I was having so much fun. I was definitely experimenting with a new side of my life and and a part of me that I'd always wanted to see come alive. So it was a great opportunity. Was so much fun. I loved doing stops of the tour and and being witnessed to that. Yeah, because you guys out to come introduce the shows. I never No, I never got to do that. Oh I went on the road. I was on to us and God, I was just like, my friends are so freaking cool. I was pumped, where were you or something? Because I didn't know Hillary, because I didn't get to go. We didn't get to go in the beginning. It was only when the show was wrapped, and then there were a couple more dates. Right after this season we were doing Secret Life, weren't you. That's summer weren't you were either doing that movie you did with Jason Ritter or The Secret Life of Bees. You were doing a movie. I did the movie in Louisiana right after this where I met Elizabeth Arnoa. It was Elizabeth because then when we come back, like the next year, Lizarne Wash shows up to play Shelley. Because I was like, friend, let me have her. What was that called? Who knows? Come on, look, come to me? This is where we he did insert the Jeopardy music was say we did it? Were you guys? Sisters? Because you all kind of look alike? I played like the super like waspy. Where's Pastel's like rich bitch? Oh interesting? Incidentally, very similar to the character Hillary plays on Good Sam, which is also coming up on March. You're right, the character I play on Good Sam. It's like the grown up version of who I was in just like she's scary, fancy, Like I have a meeting to get to I skipped a p T A meeting for the because I have a question. Okay, how the hell does Dan know how to find everybody everywhere all the time? No, Like, seriously, I have I have a theory. Does Dan Scott motors put trackers in the cars he sells. Yes, don't you remember? There was a big scandal because because paparazzi who were working for TMZ had put trackers under Jessica Simpson's car. Oh my god, that's horrendous. You guys, this was a thing and they were doing it to like all yes, they were doing it to all these celebrities. There was a whole big lawsuit, I totally remember, and because everyone was like, how are they always finding in these like really weird private places. And I'm literally thinking to myself, I mean I wasn't going to say it, but yes, so I was like, is Dan Scott, like O G t MZ does he track? Maybe he's such a freak. It's just so weird that he shows in church, Like, first of all, why is Dan going walking into it? I know, it's just so like why would he be in there except that he's following Jewels. Sometimes our show is so on the nose. It's just like Juels is in a church brain because she's in such a conundrum. Guys, when I and I want to talk to Jesus about it, I'm just gonna go to my bedroom, Like I'm not going to go into a physical church, me to usually go into the bathroom cry alone, magically every single time I walk into the bathroom, Mommy, like without fail for the last eleven Daughter's got a tracker on you? Is what. I love it. But Dan is so devious in this, And I was so unsettled when the boys got out of jail, and it's clear that Lucas has shared everything with Nathan, everything, and Dan, who is a man of secrets, says, good, I'm glad you told him your brothers, you know, like you should have told him. And it just felt like really bad foreshadowing, like what is Dan gonna spill to Keith, who's so vulnerable and so happy right now, who just bought a house for him and jewels. He's so fragile, so fragile. And the boys get arrested just after Dan had said to Jules he's going to let this one go, and she says, I don't believe you. It gave me the chills, would you like? I don't like it? No. I mean Maria looks so shattered sitting in that scene. I mean, she did a beautiful job just sitting in that church like that. She just looks broken and afraid, and it was like that is how felt them the inside when he said that you told him you should have your brother's some bad's gonna happen. I feel it. I feel it coming, and she she you, guys, are I set you up? Girl? I loved it. I'm backing up what you're putting down. No. But she has to express so much in those scenes because it is um a little bit of a choppy storyline, because it's like we just jump into it sometimes, and she has to express that she really does love Keith, that she's really wanting to be with him, she's afraid of this man who originally hired her and now is like lording this information over her head. Like it's a lot to articulate in these scenes without being able to say that, And so Maria was just like a disgusted look. It's just like who are you? Yeah? What monster? Who did this to you? Here's horrible? Can we talk about the kiss though, when Keith takes her by the hair, when he runs his hand through her hair and kisses her. Thanks Keith, we all needed that. Yeah, Craig's earnest face in that scene, guys, it made me. It makes me cringe. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I want to love it, I want to be It makes me like run, run, run, far, far away. What do you mean with your hair? No, when a man buys you a house, he's so earnest, he's so eager, he's so needy, and so needs the validation of that he's doing it right it. I don't know. Maybe this is my childhood trauma. Guys, I don't know. I'm just if if I can't deal with it, it's um it does nobody else have this issue? Your vibe? Joy? I mean, I'm your friend, and I know you well enough to know that you like a little like man, a dirt on the boot, you know what. I like a little grouch. Yeah. It's funny to me though, because I'm like needy, I didn't read him giving her a house as needy. It feels needy listening, non judgment. It feels needy, like he's not actually just giving it, he's he needs to be here. To me, the my interpretation of it is that it's actually more about him needing the validation of being the guy who could provide this in this moment, who can show up and beat Yes, Hillary the hero and it doesn't just it doesn't just feel natural and authentic and just there. He's just trying so hard to be exactly what she needs that it puts it really puts me off as a romantic interest. Sometimes these writers stress me out because all teen right, it takes a lot of effort, and we all know you don't buy a house in like three weeks. Oh my god, do you know what I mean? He takes so long to close on a house. If you could you imagine if you had just gotten engaged and the person who's supposed to be your partner goes, look at this giant decision I made without you. Yeah, that's weird. It's intense. I'd be like, what if I hate this kind of house? Are we stuck here? Like Jeffrey had bought a house two months before I met him, and so he had a house and I was like, okay, I guess I live here now that's weird. And the second he did a movie here in New York, like we've been together, I don't know, maybe a year, and he was like, oh, there's a little Tina tiny log Cavin for sale. I was like, done, we're moving. We bought this place and never went back to his house and like never we went and finally like sold our and I walked outside and the neighbors were like, oh, hey, are you the new neighbors. And I'm like no, no, no, no, no, We're the old neighbors leaving. We're done here. No, there's a it's an energy thing. When you're in a new relationship, you make decisions together together, especially is that big as a house? Property decisions take a solid eight months. Like, yeah, they take a long time. Yeah. I had a guy by me flowers before a date once, like they arrived a few hours before the date and I was like, I gotta go. I can't do this, No, I can't wait for Santon. I had a debrief whoever you become serious about next, Like he'll come to us and we'll be like hold on, hold on, hold on. There's some grounds. So I can't even imagine, like buying a house, a house before you Oh my god, be like no, no, honey, no, no, the thing that you think is sweet, don't do that, don't do it, don't do it. Ignore her. But that like, let's move on to the Andy then of it all, because Andy's showing up in a different way and I love the way Andy shows up. I love the way he shows up danger. Yeah, the like sleep I sleep with a baseball bat in my room, Like Italian part of me is like, that's the way I want a man to show up for me. Call and figure out what there is to get to destroy him. I love the Karen is finally on the war path. She has been so steady and patient and kind and just be generous and setting an example for my son, and now no holds barred man, she is just letting loose. I mean her in that freaking mediation. You're asked friend, boy haircut, You're asked ass. That's one of those things for our friends at home that really kills us, when you know you're on television and you can't say words normal people use when they're angry. So you just have to keep saying assy as asked face because you can't swear and say like you motherfucker, you took my kid? You know. God, It's so it was. She did it, and she did it beautifully straight faced. She did that straight faced. Yeah yeah, I can't believe it. And Paul remained straight faced as well. God blessed someone was why she did it? Hurling that at me. I wouldn't take it. Um alright, I'm going through my notes here, guys. We take so many notes when we watch these things. The Tim Confessional, God, Brett clay Well, because he has to improvise so much of his stuff because they didn't really write for him. They would just say like, okay, go Brett, you know, and he would. And I think he's so funny. And I wish that Tim was utilized more because he's hate Um okay, what else Keith kissing Jewels? We did that part. Sex is the easy part. Giving your heart to someone is the hard part. I had so many fans like asked me to write that out and like, yeah, so I was like, that's a weird one. What do you mean when Peyton's like sex is the easy part. It's giving your heart to someone that's the hard part. And people are like, can you write this out on a thing at a convention? And I'm like, oh, interesting, okay, okay, hey, were you going to question? You know what I want written out from this episode? I want that's the thing that Anna said at the end when she says I'm just trying to find my way. I guess that part is timeless. I want fan art of I want I'm proud of me too. I loved that. Yeah that, I'm proud of you girls. I'm proud of you girls, and I'm proud of me too. I think we've all come a long way. Well, and then Nathan talking about Haley. If I love her and she loves me, what's there to figure out? Yeah? And I loved Lucas. When they finally start talking again and Luke says, your marriage wins out over some confused kiss. Remember the real Haley, even when she's lesser. Too good advice. You know, nobody's perfect. If this was all about loving perfect people, no one would ever be loved ever that is That is good advice as well. M hm m hmm. Guys, we can even you a lot to think about today. Hey, what kind of weirdo parties have you guys been to? Will you tell us? Yeah? Oh my god? Bonus points If you have pictures from your weird high school parts, we want to see them. Tag us should spin a wheel? I think I think I should. I love most likely to most likely to say something inappropriate time capsule, most likely to become a travel blogger. This actually feels like Erica marsh to me, I love that. Yeah, I fully believe it. She's got that little host sensibility. You know, she'd plan the ship out of a great itinerary. Yeah, hey, yo, I'm here in Italy. Oh my god, isn't this gorgeous? Love her so much? Kind of this is so cool. But it's Kate vogel ate and lived in Paris and like did a whole blog about it, and it's Yeah, she's like a travel blogger and she does cool stuff. Um, is there anybody else in our cast that does that? I mean, I feel like we all kind of travel a lot, but I don't know about blogging. So he's like unfishing in Montana. I'm in Italy. I do travel a lot, but I don't have the patience to be like and then I boarded the L train, like I don't know. Hey, you know who has adventures and writes about them sometimes? Brian Greenberg? I know, you mean the Brian Greenberg that's coming on our live event on March just a pre game for a good Sama period. March is going to be a double up with your girls, and I hope you all are ready because it's can be quite a special special evening and guys, next up on this show, We've got season two, episode sixteen. Somewhere a clock is ticking. I'm telling you it's a ticking time bomb, and it's Damn Scott, Damn Scott. Damn He's Damn Scott, Damn Dan Scott. We're Scott from now. Dan. Thanks for joining us London next week. Hey, thanks for listening. Don't forget to leave us a review. You can also follow us on Instagram at Drama Queens O t H or email us at Drama Queens at I heart radio dot com. See you next time. Were all about that high school drama? Girl, Drama, Girl, all about them high school queens. We'll take you for a ride at our comic Girl Sharing the Drama Queens up girl Fashion, but you'll tell girls you could sit with us. Girl Drama, Queeze Drama, Queeze Drama, Queen's Drama draw MC Queen's Drama Queens