Doc's Dumb Dumb of the Day

38-year-old John Mack traveled to Key West, FL from La Grange, IL for Memorial Day Weekend. He made it a trip to remember (or forget) after stealing a cop car to get from one bar to another. 

18-year-old Kristian Cochran was already wearing a court-ordered ankle monitor when he decided to start busting into cars in Dayton, Ohio. That gave police all the evidence they needed.

36-year-old Anthony Rhodes created a diversion inside a Maryland Walmart so he could snatch jewelry from a display case. He managed to cause around $10 million dollars in damage after lighting a shopping cart filled with fireworks.

Antone Glionna drove the the Sheriff's Office in Fultonville, NY to pick up a buddy arrested for DWI. Antone joined his pal in jail after failing the field sobriety tests.

Kaylie Santos is no longer a manager at the McDonald's in Southbridge, Massachusetts. She was fired after posting a video of doing something kind of gross with a customer's order of french fries.  

62-year-old Robert Benson of Navarre, FL sleeps in the nude. Nothing wrong with that. BUT he also went outside at 3 o'clock in the morning, nude, to remove a neighbor's annoying misfunctioning motion-sensor light. 

Okay, it was just 29-year-old Dalton Hubbert on his motorcycle, trying to outrun cops at speeds up to 120 mph. What made him stand out was his helmet ... complete with bunny ears, big blue eyes, and pink nose.

32-year-old Jane Hollingworth robbed a bank in Santa Rosa, CA. She was caught an hour later thanks to the description of "a woman with bright blue hair and a red leopard-print jacket." 

Marvel Walker, Jr. literally took the "o" right out of "police." He was arrested after removing the letter from the front of the Tacoma Police Department Headquarters. 

A tourist from Seattle was on a Maui beach when he decided it would be fun to throw a large rock at a seal in the water. When confronted, he shouted "I'm rich, I can pay the fines." A local man came to the seal's defense and took down the rock thrower. Luckily, there's video evidence of the whole thing.

Jonathan Gross had been "borrowing" his neighbor's wi-fi signal, we don't know for how long, but he sure got upset when that neighbor turned the wi-fi off. A baseball bat and alcohol were involved. 

Richard Carpenter of St. Petersburg, FL used a drone to scare off someone he thought was following him. It turned out to be a delivery driver, Richard turned out to be drunk.  

Richmond Lewis in Boulder, CO waited a whole 8 minutes to commit a crime after being released from jail. To his credit, stealing a firetruck's quite the crime. 

Alexis Weber was arrested Tuesday for reasons we prefer not to put in writing. Go ahead and listen if you want, but it's gross.

Her REAL name is Lisa Nagel, but when cops showed up at her door answering a disturbance call she identified herself as "Donald Duck." 

18-year-olds haven't yet fully developed, mentally, so we cut them a little slack. However, when they do something dumb in the name of social media popularity, we hold them accountable. When they record themselves engaged in said activity, we arrest them because they provided their own evidence.

Kimberly Brown was found asleep in her Tesla AND in traffic on a Florida Interstate shortly after 2 o'clock in the morning. That's where the vehicle stopped after Kimberly hit autopilot and closed her eyes. The car does that when it detects the driver isn't aware enough to take control. Kimberly was not, she was twice the legal limit and really sleepy. 

Proofreading is important, so is the difference between "naturalist" and "naturist." The Cumbria Nature Festival had to learn this one the hard way.

Cops in Cleveland pulled a woman over on the Interstate because she was only driving 38 mph (in a 60). They soon found out she'd been drinking, and was still drinking. Her excuse was ... less than persuasive.

2 men were charged with impersonating an officer after they BOTH flashed fake badges during an altercation in Hyannis, Massachusetts. Neither man was really law enforcement. 

When Enzo Conticello stole a woman's bag from a pub in Soho, he had NO idea what he had. He traded a laptop and credit cards for some drugs, but he had discarded the most valuable thing not realizing what he'd stolen. In that bag was a Faberge egg with an estimated value of $3 Million dollars. He threw it way. 

25-year-old Siria Lopez gave cops in Bonita Springs, FL a new excuse when they pulled her over for speeding. She blamed it on the car, kind of. She pointed to the Toyota Supra she'd been driving and said she thought "it was okay to go fast." 

After being released from a correctional facility in Arizona, Isaiah Walker was looking for a ride home to Oklahoma. He did something not recommended for people trying to go unnoticed. He hijacked a car transporter hauling 10 really expensive Chevy C8 Corvettes.    

I'munique Clark was arrested after a public meltdown over peppers at a Subway in St. Petersburg, FL.  

Tim Mahoney from Montgomery, NY was arrested in Key Largo, FL after putting on a show. Wearing nothing but a construction hard hat, Tim was found by police dancing in the road where he had crashed his truck into traffic cones. 

Anthony Buhl of New York and March Wallin Chadwick from Tennessee were arrested after being caught with a dead alligator strapped to the roof of their vehicle while visiting Florida. They wanted to get it to a taxidermist to have it stuffed. Instead, they've been hit with a felony charge of illegal possession of an alligator.  

Joseph Parkhurst, Assistant Superintendent of HR & Operations in the Harrisonville, Missouri school district, was arrested after being found inside a bar at the Margaritaville Lake Resort Hotel in Osage Beach, MO.  It's worth mentioning he was found "after hours" and he was asleep, wearing only his underwear, and quite a bit of damage had been done to the establishment. 

When Jorge Hernandez took a trip to the liquor store in Bowling Green, Kentucky, cops pulled over him and the horse he rode in on. It was determined he was under the influence. (Jorge, not the horse) 

Kim Carroll in Woodhaven, MI tried lying to a judge during her virtual court hearing. The video clearly showed her behind the wheel of a car, which is a no-no. It got uncomfortable when she tried lying to the judge about it. 

41-year-old Randall Baker came across a Bud Light beer truck sitting outside a liquor store in Evansville, Indiana and just couldn't help himself. That was only the beginning of his adventure.

Bryan Parker of Holly Hill, FL literally crashed (through) a gate at Daytona Beach International Airport. He drove his Ford Mustang out on the airport taxiway and tried to gain access to a couple of flights. Security, and law enforcement, and the FBI, frown on that type of behavior. 

53-year-old Farron Fullerton overstayed his reservation at a Brevard County, FL hotel. When cops arrived to "remove" him, Farron was already wearing an inmate uniform. Why? We may never know. 

32-year-old Gregory Dolcine was pulled over in Geneva, FL for going too fast, 101 mph in a 55 mph zone. His excuse was a bit of a head-scratcher. He told the officer he was "speeding to avoid an animal in the roadway." Just how fast was the animal running, Greg? And was IT chasing YOU?

Brett Howard and Todd Azevedo are no longer welcome at the Ancient Ozarks Natural History Museum. They're also banned from any and all Bass Pro Shops in America. Johnny Morris owns both, and the boys are responsible for destroying around $200,000 of Johnny's property my messing with a mammoth fossil. 

A Sheriff's deputy in Port Orchard, Washington pulled over a 34-year-old man at 12:30 in the morning.  That man took off and got away, briefly. Authorities caught up with him an hour and a half later after he had crashed his electric unicycle in a ditch. He got a DUI for drunk unicycling. Impressive.

All 33-year-old Patrick Alexander had to do was pay his $250 bond and the Chesterfield County judge would let him go. Patrick tried to pay with 3 counterfeit $100 bills, even telling the judge to "keep the change."  

When 31-year-old Nadine Kaufman was pulled over in Boca Raton, FL, police asked for her license and registration. Instead she handed them a bag of Q-Tips and batteries. It didn't get any better after that.

Stealing baseball cards from Walmart doesn't seem like a huge sin. Stealing over $1000 in cards over 5 days is harder to explain, especially when you're the Very Reverend Aidan Smith, Head Priest and Dean of of Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Pittsburgh.  

A man on a motorcycle was being chased by police when he decided to ditch it ... and his shoes ... and his backpack ... and his jacket ... and his pants. Police dogs had no problem tracking his scent right to his hiding spot.

Teara Smith was found, uninvited, in the kitchen of a family's home in Springfield, Missouri. She'd made a mess before enjoying a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and getting to know the family dog. After admitting to some marijuana use and saying she "mistook the house for a fair," Teara was arrested.

33-year-old Mitchell Fairbarn of Ontario, Canada made some memories, and headlines, last week in Vegas. He took a Flamingo out of it's habitat at The Flamingo Hotel because he thought it needed help. Sounds more like Mitchell needed to sober up.

24-year-old Spencer Anderson was arrested after destroying at least 3 license plate readers in Waterford, Michigan. Cops knew it was him since the readers caught images of their own destruction and the man who did it.

While his Mom waited back at the test center, a 26-year-old man in St Helens, England was pulled over while taking his driver's test. At first it was just for a busted taillight, but when cops caught a whiff of marijuana, the test was over. 

South Korean tax authorities learned the hard way, and at a cost of $5.6 million U.S., that before you brag online about your recent crypto bust make sure the photos you're posting don't include the wallet recovery phrases. Someone might take advantage of that.

When Travis Meir of Minneapolis ordered a hydration vest off Amazon, his shipment included a loaded handgun. Amazon's trying to figure out how THAT happened.

39-year-old Felicia Howard tried to bail someone out of jail in Madisonville, KY. "Tried" is the operative word because she handed over a stack of $100's, all stamped with "For Motion Picture Use Only."

27-year-old Jonathan McMillian tried to run and hide from police after a traffic stop. He should've just kept running and skipped the hiding ... because he's not very good at it. 

19-year-old Christopher Garcia-Caminos is now very familiar with Florida's "Super-Speeder" law. He was clocked doing 129 mph in a 55 mph zone in Clearwater. His excuse was, McDonald's took too long making his food and he was late getting back to work.  

It was a "swing & a miss" for 37-year-old Justin Allen of Ormond-By-The-Sea, FL. He was arrested after taking a hammer to a white Honda SUV in a grocery store parking lot. Justin thought he was exacting revenge against an ex-girlfriend. Turns out the vehicle belonged to a grocery store employee. Didn't matter, either way ... Justin was getting arrested. 

If you need to get to the Sheriff's Office to pay a fine for your open container violation, maybe don't get drunk and drive yourself there.