I showed my wife a technique I learned for tying two ropes together. She proceeded to make out with me wildly. The problem is I can't tell whether she loves me or not.

I showed my wife a technique I learned for tying two ropes together. She proceeded to make out with me wildly. The problem is I can't tell whether she loves me or not.

Wife says to her husband, our son is so clever. He got his intelligence from me. The husband replies, probably, I still have mine.

Wife says to her husband, our son is so clever. He got his intelligence from me. The husband replies, probably, I still have mine.

My son spent hours studying for that exam on the circulatory system, but he got an f Anyway, it feels like his efforts were in vain.

My son spent hours studying for that exam on the circulatory system, but he got an f Anyway, it feels like his efforts were in vain.

I sprayed deodorant in my mouth by mistake. I now have an accent.

I sprayed deodorant in my mouth by mistake. I now have an accent.

My wife said if she didn't like my Christmas gift, she'd burn it, so I got her a candle.

My wife said if she didn't like my Christmas gift, she'd burn it, so I got her a candle.

I have been girlfriend less for about ten years because my family are so against it, especially my wife.

I have been girlfriend less for about ten years because my family are so against it, especially my wife.

There's a national Origami tournament on TV, but it's pay per view.

There's a national Origami tournament on TV, but it's pay per view.

What do you call an army of babies the infantry.

What do you call an army of babies the infantry.

I'm more of a cat person than a dog person, but with enough barbecue sauce, they're both delicious.

I'm more of a cat person than a dog person, but with enough barbecue sauce, they're both delicious.

What did the dad light bulb say when his kid asked what school comes after kindergarten? It's elementary, my dear Watson.

What did the dad light bulb say when his kid asked what school comes after kindergarten? It's elementary, my dear Watson.

What was Benjamin Franklin's reaction to discovering electricity. He was shot. More Dad jokes are coming up after this quick break.

What was Benjamin Franklin's reaction to discovering electricity. He was shot. More Dad jokes are coming up after this quick break.

What was the chess Master's favorite album, Night Moves.

What was the chess Master's favorite album, Night Moves.

Don't know if you heard the news, but my cousin's deck got arrested. He was selling quack.

Don't know if you heard the news, but my cousin's deck got arrested. He was selling quack.

A pterodactyl went to the bathroom right outside my tent, but I didn't hear a thing because the p is silent.

A pterodactyl went to the bathroom right outside my tent, but I didn't hear a thing because the p is silent.

What do protons and life coaches have in common? They know how to stay positive.

What do protons and life coaches have in common? They know how to stay positive.

In Germany, they even have a sausage made out of other sausages. It's the voice of Divorced.

In Germany, they even have a sausage made out of other sausages. It's the voice of Divorced.

A hole was found in the wall of a newdest camp. The police are looking into it.

A hole was found in the wall of a newdest camp. The police are looking into it.

Everyone have heard of the movie Constipation, which never came out, but its sequel, Diarrhea came out and it hasn't stopped running since then. I'm Bob Jeffy.

Everyone have heard of the movie Constipation, which never came out, but its sequel, Diarrhea came out and it hasn't stopped running since then. I'm Bob Jeffy.

And I'm Montgomery Jones.

And I'm Montgomery Jones.

Keep listening until the end of the episode for a bonus joke. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide. Please share these jokes with your family and friends today.

Keep listening until the end of the episode for a bonus joke. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide. Please share these jokes with your family and friends today.

Looking for the gift for Dad. We have the official Daily Dad Jokes podcast Electronic Joke Button now available on Amazon, a massive five hundred preloaded dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and grown. Check the show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media links and Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. According to a recent survey, twenty percent of women think their ass is too fat. Another ten percent thought their ass was too skinny. The other seventy percent didn't care either way. They married him and they love him regardless of his weight.

Looking for the gift for Dad. We have the official Daily Dad Jokes podcast Electronic Joke Button now available on Amazon, a massive five hundred preloaded dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and grown. Check the show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media links and Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. According to a recent survey, twenty percent of women think their ass is too fat. Another ten percent thought their ass was too skinny. The other seventy percent didn't care either way. They married him and they love him regardless of his weight.