What happens when a bestselling Christian author becomes an alcoholic—not the other way around?

Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic is a raw, redemptive podcast hosted by Jon Seidl, based on his powerful book of the same name. This isn’t just about addiction—it’s about the messy middle of faith, trauma, and healing.

In each episode, Jon gets radically vulnerable as he shares his own journey through alcoholism, recovery, and ultimately, redemption in Christ. You’ll hear real, unfiltered stories from fellow addicts and alcoholics, as well as insight from professionals in faith, trauma, and recovery.

Because the truth is—we’re all addicted to something.

This is a space for the hurting, the hopeful, the honest, and yes—the hungover. But more than that, it’s a space for healing.

Listen to Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic and discover what happens when grace collides with addiction.

What happens when a bestselling Christian author becomes an alcoholic&mdash;not the other way around?
Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic is a raw, redemptive podcast hosted by Jon Seidl, based on his powerful book of the same name. This isn&rsquo;t just about addiction&mdash;it&rsquo;s about the messy middle of faith, trauma, and healing.
In each episode, Jon gets radically vulnerable as he shares his own journey through alcoholism, recovery, and ultimately, redemption in Christ. You&rsquo;ll hear real, unfiltered stories from fellow addicts and alcoholics, as well as insight from professionals in faith, trauma, and recovery.
Because the truth is&mdash;we&rsquo;re all addicted to something.
This is a space for the hurting, the hopeful, the honest, and yes&mdash;the hungover. But more than that, it&rsquo;s a space for healing.
Listen to Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic and discover what happens when grace collides with addiction.

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian alcoholic" (based on the book by the same title) is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts. The show features interviews with fellow addicts and alcoholics as well as professionals in the fields of trauma, faith, and addiction recovery. Because let's be honest, we're all addicted to something. "Confessions" is a place for the desperate, the downtrodden, the destitute, and especially, the drunk. But it's also a place of hope and healing. Jon found sobriety after decades of struggling, but more importantly than finding sobriety, he found Jesus. In every episode, he gets radically vulnerable as he explores what it looks like to be on this journey of messy sanctification. Visit christianalcoholic.com for more resources.

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian alcoholic" (based on the book by the same title) is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts. The show features interviews with fellow addicts and alcoholics as well as professionals in the fields of trauma, faith, and addiction recovery. Because let's be honest, we're all addicted to something. "Confessions" is a place for the desperate, the downtrodden, the destitute, and especially, the drunk. But it's also a place of hope and healing. Jon found sobriety after decades of struggling, but more importantly than finding sobriety, he found Jesus. In every episode, he gets radically vulnerable as he explores what it looks like to be on this journey of messy sanctification. Visit <a href="http://christianalcoholic.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://christianalcoholic.com&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1747239325727000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1G-752Q-1dyjq6GN5gt7xw">christianalcoholic.com</a> for more resources.

Jon Seidl is the bestselling Christian author who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around. Or is it? "Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic" is all about real stories, radical vulnerability, and remarkable comebacks of people who have struggled with alcoholism and addictions of all sorts.

Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

Official Trailer of "Confessions of A Christian Alcoholic" 

“Most people don’t actually know who they are. And when you don’t know who you are, you will always live in fear.”

What if your struggles with alcohol, food, or whatever else is tripping you up wasn't about the substance as much as it was about something below the surface you never would have put your finger on?

Today's guest, Jamie Winship, has a pulse on what that "thing" is better than anyone I know. It's your identity, and Jamie is going to unpack today why our identity is so important not just for uncovering why we struggle, but just as important for figuring out where we go from here.

And it all starts with a question: What are you most afraid of? 

That question helps uncover your false identity, which is a sneaky lie that too many of us embrace.

Jamie is a former police officer, conflict resolution expert, and the author of the book Living Fearless: Exchanging the Lies of the World for the Liberating Truth of God. And while that may not seem like a book about recovery, the truth is it was one of the most important books in my recovery. Because when I started unpacking the core of my issues, I found a lot of fear and identity issues. 

That makes sense because, as Jamie surprisingly shares today, he actually struggled with his own alcohol addiction—something I never heard or realized until we started talking, and something he doesn't talk about often. 

In this episode, we talk about why identity, how fear becomes the default motivator when identity is unclear, and why so many of us, even as Christians, end up living out of that fear without realizing it. He also walks through the difference between information and revelation, and why hearing truth about God isn’t the same thing as actually believing it at the level where change happens.

I worked for almost a year to get Jamie on the podcast, and I can tell you this is one of the most important episodes we've ever recorded.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in patterns you can’t explain, or frustrated that knowing the right things hasn’t led to lasting change, this episode will help you see why—and also give you a practical path to true and lasting freedom.

Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible here.

We explore:

— What it actually means to not know who you are and how that leads to fear-driven living
— How identity confusion sits beneath struggles with alcohol, food, and other addictive patterns
— Why fear becomes the default motivator when identity is unclear
— The connection between fear, shame, and the behaviors we can’t seem to stop
— The one question that exposes what’s really driving you
— Why behavior change alone doesn’t lead to lasting transformation
— The critical difference between information and revelation in the Christian life
— Why hearing truth about God isn’t the same as believing it at a level that changes you
— How lies about your identity quietly shape your decisions, relationships, and habits
— What it looks like to begin living from truth instead of fear
— How Jamie’s framework applies directly to addiction recovery and spiritual growth
— Jamie’s personal story of alcohol addiction and how he was confronted about it
— Why uncovering your true identity in Christ changes not just what you do, but how you live

Jamie's book: Living Fearless: Exchanging the Lies of the World for the Liberating Truth of God
Jamie's resources and courses: Identity Exchange
Follow Jamie: @thejamiewinship
Get addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.org
Follow me: @jonseidl
Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic
Get the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible:https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0

&ldquo;Most people don&rsquo;t actually know who they are. And when you don&rsquo;t know who you are, you will always live in fear.&rdquo;
What if your struggles with alcohol, food, or whatever else is tripping you up wasn't about the substance as much as it was about something below the surface you never would have put your finger on?
Today's guest, Jamie Winship, has a pulse on what that "thing" is better than anyone I know. It's your identity, and Jamie is going to unpack today why our identity is so important not just for uncovering why we struggle, but just as important for figuring out where we go from here.
And it all starts with a question: What are you most afraid of?&nbsp;
That question helps uncover your false identity, which is a sneaky lie that too many of us embrace.
Jamie is a former police officer, conflict resolution expert, and the author of the book <a href="https://amzn.to/48j7nvg">Living Fearless: Exchanging the Lies of the World for the Liberating Truth of God</a>. And while that may not&nbsp;seem like a book about recovery, the truth is it was one of the most important books in my recovery. Because when I started unpacking the core of my issues, I found a lot of fear and identity issues.&nbsp;
That makes sense because, as Jamie surprisingly shares today, he actually struggled with his own alcohol addiction&mdash;something I never heard or realized until we started talking, and something he doesn't talk about often.&nbsp;
In this episode, we talk about why identity, how fear becomes the default motivator when identity is unclear, and why so many of us, even as Christians, end up living out of that fear without realizing it. He also walks through the difference between information and revelation, and why hearing truth about God isn&rsquo;t the same thing as actually believing it at the level where change happens.
I worked for almost a year to get Jamie on the podcast, and I can tell you this is one of the most important episodes we've ever recorded.
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt stuck in patterns you can&rsquo;t explain, or frustrated that knowing the right things hasn&rsquo;t led to lasting change, this episode will help you see why&mdash;and also give you a practical path to true and lasting freedom.
Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible <a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">here</a>.
We explore:
&mdash; What it actually means to not know who you are and how that leads to fear-driven living &mdash; How identity confusion sits beneath struggles with alcohol, food, and other addictive patterns &mdash; Why fear becomes the default motivator when identity is unclear &mdash; The connection between fear, shame, and the behaviors we can&rsquo;t seem to stop &mdash; The one question that exposes what&rsquo;s really driving you &mdash; Why behavior change alone doesn&rsquo;t lead to lasting transformation &mdash; The critical difference between information and revelation in the Christian life &mdash; Why hearing truth about God isn&rsquo;t the same as believing it at a level that changes you &mdash; How lies about your identity quietly shape your decisions, relationships, and habits &mdash; What it looks like to begin living from truth instead of fear &mdash; How Jamie&rsquo;s framework applies directly to addiction recovery and spiritual growth &mdash; Jamie&rsquo;s personal story of alcohol addiction and how he was confronted about it &mdash; Why uncovering your true identity in Christ changes not just what you do, but how you live
Jamie's book: <a href="https://amzn.to/48j7nvg">Living Fearless: Exchanging the Lies of the World for the Liberating Truth of God</a> Jamie's resources and courses: <a href="https://www.identityexchange.com">Identity Exchange</a> Follow Jamie: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thejamiewinship/">@thejamiewinship</a> Get addiction recovery resources and help:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.veritasrecovery.org">veritasrecovery.org</a> Follow me: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/">@jonseidl</a> Order my new book,&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/4opuOt">Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic</a> Get the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible: <a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">h</a><a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">ttp</a><a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">s://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0</a>

The Identity Crisis We're All Facing: Jamie Winship on Fear, Finding our Identity, and His Own Alcohol Addiction

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/9c7c7aa4-9859-456c-acd2-b41e0151bd14/transcript

“You think you’re losing your best friend, but you’re gaining the ultimate friend in Jesus.”

That’s how JP Graves describes what it felt like to walk away from alcohol. I felt that, too. Alcohol was always there for me no matter what. It told me I was right, it comforted me when I was wrong, and it always made it better—even if “better” was fleeting. When I gave it up, I had to grieve it. So did JP.

On the outside, JP looked good. He loved Jesus. He was active in church. He had a career, a family, and a life that seemed normal and intact. But behind the scenes, alcohol had quietly become a constant. What started as freedom slowly turned into dependence.

And then it got worse.

By the end, JP wasn’t just drinking heavily—he was drinking all day. Vodka replaced beer. Ten drinks became twenty. His throat was so damaged he could barely swallow. He was hiding alcohol, living in deception, and drifting further from his wife and kids. And yet, he was still showing up to church.

This episode doesn’t just explore addiction—it exposes the world that I and so many others have come to know: addiction that exists despite knowing and loving Jesus.

We talk about the subtle ways church culture can blur the lines, how stress and isolation accelerated his drinking during COVID, and the moment everything finally broke—a heartbreaking story involving JP and his daughter’s baptism.

That’s when the truth became unavoidable.

What follows is not a story about behavior modification or quick fixes. It’s a story about surrender, confession, community, and what it actually looks like to find freedom—not just from alcohol, but from the deeper need to escape.

If you’ve ever felt the tension of loving Jesus while still hiding something, this conversation will hit closer than you expect.

Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible here.

We explore:

— How a Christian can love Jesus and still quietly fall into addiction
— The impact of church drinking culture and the misuse of Christian freedom
— Why some people can’t “just have one” and what that reveals about the heart
— How stress, career pressure, and COVID accelerated hidden addiction
— The progression from casual drinking to full dependence and physical breakdown
— The role of secrecy, deception, and compartmentalization in addiction
— What rock bottom actually looked like for JP and the moment everything shifted
— Why confession and community are essential to real recovery
— The difference between behavior change and true Gospel-centered transformation
— What it means to replace alcohol with something better—not just remove it

Get resources and help: veritasrecovery.org
Follow me: @jonseidl
Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic
Get the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible:https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0

&ldquo;You think you&rsquo;re losing your best friend, but you&rsquo;re gaining the ultimate friend in Jesus.&rdquo;
That&rsquo;s how JP Graves describes what it felt like to walk away from alcohol.&nbsp;I felt that, too. Alcohol was always there for me no matter what. It told me I was right, it comforted me when I was wrong, and it always made it better&mdash;even if &ldquo;better&rdquo; was fleeting. When I gave it up, I had to grieve it. So did JP.
On the outside, JP looked good. He loved Jesus. He was active in church. He had a career, a family, and a life that seemed normal and intact. But behind the scenes, alcohol had quietly become a constant. What started as freedom slowly turned into dependence.
And then it got worse.
By the end, JP wasn&rsquo;t just drinking heavily&mdash;he was drinking all day. Vodka replaced beer. Ten drinks became twenty. His throat was so damaged he could barely swallow. He was hiding alcohol, living in deception, and drifting further from his wife and kids. And yet, he was still showing up to church.
This episode doesn&rsquo;t just explore addiction&mdash;it exposes the world that I and so many others have come to know: addiction that exists despite knowing and loving Jesus.
We talk about the subtle ways church culture can blur the lines, how stress and isolation accelerated his drinking during COVID, and the moment everything finally broke&mdash;a heartbreaking story involving JP and his daughter&rsquo;s baptism.
That&rsquo;s when the truth became unavoidable.
What follows is not a story about behavior modification or quick fixes. It&rsquo;s a story about surrender, confession, community, and what it actually looks like to find freedom&mdash;not just from alcohol, but from the deeper need to escape.
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt the tension of loving Jesus while still hiding something, this conversation will hit closer than you expect.
Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible <a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">here</a>.
We explore:
&mdash; How a Christian can love Jesus and still quietly fall into addiction &mdash; The impact of church drinking culture and the misuse of Christian freedom &mdash; Why some people can&rsquo;t &ldquo;just have one&rdquo; and what that reveals about the heart &mdash; How stress, career pressure, and COVID accelerated hidden addiction &mdash; The progression from casual drinking to full dependence and physical breakdown &mdash; The role of secrecy, deception, and compartmentalization in addiction &mdash; What rock bottom actually looked like for JP and the moment everything shifted &mdash; Why confession and community are essential to real recovery &mdash; The difference between behavior change and true Gospel-centered transformation &mdash; What it means to replace alcohol with something better&mdash;not just remove it
Get resources and help: <a href="https://www.veritasrecovery.org">veritasrecovery.org</a> Follow me: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/">@jonseidl</a> Order my new book,&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/4opuOt">Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic</a> Get the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible: <a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">h</a><a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">ttp</a><a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">s://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0</a>

He Loved Jesus but Couldn’t Stop Drinking: How JP Graves Went from Hidden Addiction to True Freedom

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/5845431b-3f23-4254-91d2-b4160127332a/transcript

“It was taking so much more of me than it was giving.”

That’s how Heidi Mills describes her relationship with alcohol—and not in a dramatic, rock-bottom kind of way. In fact, that’s what makes her story so relatable. There wasn’t a single moment where everything fell apart. Instead, there was a long, quiet, up-and-down relationship with alcohol that looked normal on the outside but felt increasingly out of alignment on the inside.

Heidi is a certified life and relationship coach and the founder of Reclaim and Soul Care 75, where she helps women pursue personal renewal. But for years, she found herself stuck in a cycle that many of us know too well—drifting in and out of drinking, convincing herself it was under control, and silencing the internal whisper that something wasn’t right.

In this episode, Heidi shares how alcohol first entered her life as a teenager, how it faded during seasons of early motherhood and a faith awakening, and how it quietly re-entered in her 30s—this time dressed up as “normal” and even reinforced by church culture. In environments where drinking was accepted (sometimes even encouraged behind closed doors) it became easier to justify patterns that were slowly becoming more ingrained.

Eventually, though, she began to see clearly that she was in an abusive relationship, not with a person but with a thing called alcohol. And it wasn't adding to her life but quietly taking from it.

Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible here.

We explore:

— How Heidi’s relationship with alcohol developed in cycles rather than a single breaking point
— The role church drinking culture played in normalizing and reinforcing her habits
— How alcohol became a coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, and relational pain
— What cognitive dissonance looks like in everyday drinking patterns
— How cultural messaging and marketing shape our beliefs about alcohol
— Why “it’s under control” is often a warning sign, not reassurance
— The moment Heidi began to recognize alcohol as a toxic relationship
— What it looks like to slowly unravel the stories we believe about what alcohol does for us
— The fear of losing community and connection when stepping away from drinking
— How awareness—not willpower—is often the first step toward change
— What it means to live in alignment with your convictions instead of numbing them

Heidi's article: A Glass Half Empty: Leaving My Most Abusive Relationship
Work with Heidi here.
Heidi's Soul Care 75.
Heidi's Substack newsletter: In the Waiting Room
Follow me: @jonseidl
Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic
Get the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible:https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0

&ldquo;It was taking so much more of me than it was giving.&rdquo;
That&rsquo;s how Heidi Mills describes her relationship with alcohol&mdash;and not in a dramatic, rock-bottom kind of way. In fact, that&rsquo;s what makes her story so relatable. There wasn&rsquo;t a single moment where everything fell apart. Instead, there was a long, quiet, up-and-down relationship with alcohol that looked normal on the outside but felt increasingly out of alignment on the inside.
Heidi is a certified life and relationship coach and the founder of Reclaim and Soul Care 75, where she helps women pursue personal renewal. But for years, she found herself stuck in a cycle that many of us know too well&mdash;drifting in and out of drinking, convincing herself it was under control, and silencing the internal whisper that something wasn&rsquo;t right.
In this episode, Heidi shares how alcohol first entered her life as a teenager, how it faded during seasons of early motherhood and a faith awakening, and how it quietly re-entered in her 30s&mdash;this time dressed up as &ldquo;normal&rdquo; and even reinforced by church culture. In environments where drinking was accepted (sometimes even encouraged behind closed doors) it became easier to justify patterns that were slowly becoming more ingrained.
Eventually, though, she began to see clearly that she was in an abusive relationship, not with a person but with a thing called alcohol. And it wasn't adding to her life but quietly taking from it.
Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible <a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">here</a>.
We explore:
&mdash; How Heidi&rsquo;s relationship with alcohol developed in cycles rather than a single breaking point &mdash; The role church drinking culture played in normalizing and reinforcing her habits &mdash; How alcohol became a coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, and relational pain &mdash; What cognitive dissonance looks like in everyday drinking patterns &mdash; How cultural messaging and marketing shape our beliefs about alcohol &mdash; Why &ldquo;it&rsquo;s under control&rdquo; is often a warning sign, not reassurance &mdash; The moment Heidi began to recognize alcohol as a toxic relationship &mdash; What it looks like to slowly unravel the stories we believe about what alcohol does for us &mdash; The fear of losing community and connection when stepping away from drinking &mdash; How awareness&mdash;not willpower&mdash;is often the first step toward change &mdash; What it means to live in alignment with your convictions instead of numbing them
Heidi's article: <a href="https://heidimills.substack.com/p/a-glass-half-empty-leaving-my-most">A Glass Half Empty: Leaving My Most Abusive Relationship</a> Work with Heidi <a href="https://heidimills.com">here</a>. Heidi's <a href="https://soulcare75.substack.com">Soul Care 75</a>. Heidi's Substack newsletter: <a href="https://heidimills.substack.com">In the Waiting Room</a> Follow me:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/">@jonseidl</a> Order my new book,&nbsp;<a href="https://amzn.to/4opuOt">Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic</a> Get the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible: <a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">h</a><a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">ttp</a><a href="https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0">s://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0</a>

When the Drinking Problem Doesn't Look Like a Problem: Heidi Mills on the Signs Alcohol Might Be an Issue

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/676631cf-4f58-499b-be64-b41100215f01/transcript

Official Trailer of "Confessions of A Christian Alcoholic"

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