A birthday registry? Going around the table for lengthy birthday toasts? Say what?! Camilla cannot stop laughing at Jess' out-of-the-box requirements when it's her big day while also weighing in on social media posts on their special days.
Call It what It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington and iHeartRadio Podcast.
Hello Call It Crew, and welcome to another episode of Call It Short and Sweet. Hello Jessica cap Shaw.
Oh, I love it. I really love saying short and sweet.
You know this one's extra sweet. I'm gonna be cheesy right now. It's almost like birthday cake sweet. And why would that? Why would that be?
Because maybe your leo sister just celebrate another another year and entering a new year. It's sort of like New Year's and your birthday all in one. Do you get excited for your birthday? Or do you dread it?
Some people really dread it.
I've had a real relationship with my birthday. It's been a journey, Kameela. It's been a journey that's had ups and downs. Yes, you know, I well, top note love my birthday and I love other people's birthdays.
I love birthdays. I love well.
I love celebrating and birthdays are a nice little you know seguay too.
The celebration.
My memories are as a child were a little challenging because I had an August birthday, which meant that everybody was you know, you didn't have to get to have birthdays in school be celebrated by everybody, or do like the k like killow cupcakes or whatever that is.
So and I didn't have.
Usually August is a month that if you can't you're lucky enough to be able to go travel, you're usually traveling in August, which means you're not home for a birthday party.
And so August was a little bit challenging in that way.
And then add to that, my parents were divorced, so I would go back and forth, like the idea was that I should go back and forth and a birthday party.
It was just hard. It was just hard. And then I'm a little I'm not a little bit.
I'm a recovering people pleaser, and so I wanted everybody else to be happy, and so then on my birthday, I was thinking about how everyone else could be happy on my birthday.
So birthdays were complicated.
Then in my adult life I got to shed that whole thing and enter into the true celebration phase.
And then many of my friends would.
Tell you that it might have been a month long experience my birthday.
Oh, I can see that.
Yeah, August is Capshawn month. No I can see that. And and by the way, I relate to the August birthday dilemma because Lucas is born, was born two days before you. Here's my little Leo, and I always wanted I thought it was cool to have a summer birthday because I am ten days before Christmas, right, so it's like I'm full winter baby super close of course, was I'm like those summer birthdays they can do swim parties and everything. And then with Lucas, I'm realizing, like, oh crap, everyone's away, no.
One's in school. It's hard to get kids together.
Even I'm experiencing that as the mama, so.
I get it.
I love a birthday though. I do love a birthday because well this is a you know, not to get like super deep, but my mom passed when she was forty three, and so I think every birthday is a blessing, which it is.
So I feel like, yes.
I made it, which is a little white crazy, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I made it to this one, okay, And I just love them.
Yeah, well I think that, you know, then there's that phase was just about also getting everybody there's a great time in your life. I don't know what age is at, but like there's a sweet spot where a party is just you invite everyone you know and you kind of don't care, like if they know each other, if they get along, and you're still going to parties like you could meet someone new or whatever.
And then once and it was those were some good days. Those those were some really good parties, were really good parties. Then I feel like.
We went into then all of a sudden, you have kids, and then your their birthdays are way more important than your birthdays, and you're kind of set in your your friends. And I have always been really lucky to have friends and a bunch of different groups, and then getting people together sort of seemed like a chore, you know. So then so then I went back to my my younger years where I would just have like a bunch of different you know, I know, lunches or dinners or whatever with people that I loved. But my people around me felt a lot of pressure, which I've I've repaired. But I had two very important people to meet last year basically tell me that they hate that they felt a lot.
They hate my birthday.
Yeah, yeah, they felt a lot of pressure to do something. They're like I wish we could just skip over that day.
Yeah, because I was sort.
Of They were asking me what I wanted to do, and I was being very kind of like, well, you know what, maybe we'll go to lunch, maybe we got to dinner.
And they were like, who are you like you? And it is true. One of them reminded me that I.
Actually used to see doubt basically like a registry of gifts that I was interested in receiving.
No, you had a birthday registry.
This is amazing.
Oh my god, please hit us in the comments if you send people a birthday list. This is the first I'm hearing of this, and this is actually my favorite thing ever shot.
I swear, I know, and she when she said it, I was horrified that I went through a small period of denial and then it rung. It rang a bell, So I listen, accountability is everything.
I copped to it.
Yeah.
My husband said that he also felt similar pressure.
Oh my god, that's my favorite thing that you've ever told me.
That's my favorite story.
Because it's so insane.
Wait for December. Wait for the list I'm going to send you in December. It's like, Hi, it's that time of year. You've all been looking forward to.
Yeah, exactly, exactly. By the way, do you know that August is the most popular month for birthday.
That's interesting because when is everyone banging.
Doing it and they're doing it in February.
It's the dead of winter, and they're like, hey, you look good, let's do.
This Valentine's Day. They're feeling the Valentine's Day pressure they've gotten, like the shy coupons. It's like, here, give me a massage, and it's led to a child.
They're like, shit, yeah, yep, oh, February sex.
February sex leads to all these August babies.
That makes sense. I get that. I give a little February sex.
I learned that there was something called the birthday blues. I did not know this existed. So that pressure that you're talking about to host the party and do all the things is part of this birthday depression where people are like feeling all of that feeling also that they're getting older, all those things.
Yep.
I don't think I've had.
That birthday depression.
No, I have it either, Well, clearly not. You're sending out you're you're sending out lists. Clearly not, you're like, this is my month whatever, what's the opposite of birthday decision?
Just to go back to that for a second, what I thought I was being helpful. Just so we're clear, Okay, my intention was to be of service.
Oh this is can I ask like what price they get? Was anything like Cardier has a snoop?
Have you met me? You would know if you know me that I would have represented.
All the price plays. It's an equal opportunity of registering. I'm saying you have to buy me something super expensive. I'm just saying it's on the list. You might want to buy me something i'd like as Okay. Well, in fairness, I will say part of this came from I really enjoy sending you know this. I enjoy sending people flowers. I love buying people gifts. But if I'm going to buy them a gift and it's not going to just be beautiful flowers or something like like sweet treats, I would like it to be something that they would enjoy, that they were looking forward to, that they had thought about. I also really love gifting experiences like let's go on an adventure, but it's all on me, right, And I think that you can do that at every price point, and I think that it also just shows like thought and knowing of someone.
So you know, again, my registry was just a cheat sheet.
Well, I'm just thinking, it's like you're treating your friends like Sanna. It's like you're like writing a letter every year, like, dear.
Friends, this is what I'd like for my birthday.
Because I don't know if they need I don't know if they need a cheat sheet or needed one anyway.
Oh, like you've never heard You've never heard anyone say what do you want for your birthday?
I've heard someone ask me that. Yeah, I have volunteered a power point presentation.
I happened. Either why why wouldn't Why wouldn't you if they ask you, why would have you ever said what you want? Or of course, how do you know what price point they're talking about?
To Matt, I'll be like, I don't know.
To be honest, I'm like, I might displind me something da da da, but not to my friends. I'm not like I would never I don't know if I would tell them what I really wanted.
Well, I would like to know why.
I'll think about it. It's a good question. Why wouldn't I tell them, yeah, have you ever had okay, have you ever had an ex forget about your birthday?
Do you want to get real? I can't tell you how many times my father has forgotten my birthday.
My dad also he'll often like December sixteenth, the day i'fter be like, darling, what are you doing today? I'm like, yesterday, I know it was good yesterday, Okay.
But I think this speaks to the way that we've mature with our birthdays.
Is that I cared so much when I was younger, and then I cared so much, you know, when I could go and party and do it up. And now I care like enough, but if people call me or don't call me, I'm totally fine. Whereas I used to say that like a big deal if someone calls me, but I but I did care, And now I can really genuinely say.
I'm like whatever, Like oh my, oh my. How many times do I not even know what day of the week it is? Well, I know, remember on the mud.
Like the only time I don't know, but the only time I do care about this that I sit waiting and I don't know why I do this, but I know that they do it too. Is with my siblings, it's almost like it's weird because I'm almost kind of excited if they forget, like I have something on them, a little bit like it's almost hitting midnight in England and I'm.
Like, ooh, you forgot those weird I don't know why to.
Call them out, but that taps into something, which is that I do think that whether you say you do or do not care about your birthday, there is something that cuts deep about someone who knows you well not reaching out to say happy birthday.
Yes, but I feel it less with friends, because I feel like life is I literally have I don't know what day it is today, No, I know, I agree with this. I like so it's like I really so with friends, I know life's happening. But with my siblings, I know there we all know each other's date.
Yeah.
Yeah, And I try, and you want to have a grace and you want to just like accept that some people are going to forget things whatever, But then yeah, I don't know. You know what really turned me was clearly everybody got to the whole like Google calendar yearly repeating date thing before me, because I started realizing that on my birthday I would get texts from people I hadn't seen or talked to since the last time they texted me on my birthday. And I'm like, oh, well, hold on, that's not.
About like, no, that's an Actually, that's about an app.
That's about a Google.
Alert, and that's my alert.
Yeah, that's a reminder. And where do I get me some of that? Because you know what, it does feel good when people remember your birthday. It is like, I feel so lucky. It's never lost on me how I feel looking at my phone on my birthday. I feel super super duper loved, And so I would want to be a part of that for other people. So I did do that maybe a couple of years ago. I was like, I got my shit tight, I got my calendar, I got my people. I get a little like for like, you know, for the ones that I'm sending stuff to, I get like the week before reminder, make sure I send it out there.
I do see these social media posts right that are like a happy birthday and it's a whole situation dedicated to somebody, almost like they've died, like an like an in memoriam situation. There's you know, there's like a montage with the music, and it's like, by the way, so many of the pictures are also like just focused on the person posting them, you know, like the actual birthday persons like back on the horizon, but they're in a bikini and they're like, I love you so much and you're like, I can't that person just your abs. Do you get upset if you if if you aren't getting the social media posts about birthdays, they're not my jam. I don't ever post really about birthdays on social media because it feels.
Unimportant to me.
This is a Pandora's box for me.
Uh oh, here we go.
Subtle in boys and girls, subtle in everyone get ready for it.
I clearly the very small part of me that still can take things personally can.
Get super.
Little uh little hurt, little annoyed, little irritated, really just hurt. It's not annoyed or I can get hurt if people don't post something on my birthday that normally do for other people.
So I have a we all have them, We have.
The fame birthday history of posting that's their jam, and you've been left out.
You're like, what the fuck?
Yeah, even though I don't care and I'm not someone who's like, oh my gosh, please make sure like I don't have that with my friends. I'm not like, oh my gosh, here's the you know, yeah, the college I've been working on for the past month, on your birthday at all. And I don't post for people's birthday. So I've identified myself as a non poster of birthday situations.
I'm a non poster too.
Yeah, and so far, no one said that they're hurt by that. And if anyone ever came to me and was like, I would love free to post on my birthday, I would happily do so.
That'd be so embarrassing.
Yeah, I know it is.
That would be the most like tragic thing. Hey, so my birthday is coming up and I've been thinking about all the list of things I want, but number one on it is I need some sort of montage on social media with some music.
Can you fucking that's.
No one to listen?
Then I will back.
The second thing will be my redistry to that.
I would I would get that text.
I would no matter where I was, fall on the floor, I would throw my phone.
I wouldn't even know what to do with a text like that. If I had to send that text.
And I mean I can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well I didn't say I have people like that in my life. I just said if someone came to me that I would respond.
Do you think wait, hang on, do you think people are requesting are they able to do the montage?
No? This is really tickling you.
Oh my god. I hate the montages.
Because I know you, so I think this is tickling you because it's just not that important.
Yeah. No, because the level of cringe is so high. It's a cringe level twelve.
But I know because nine times out of ten, the picture they're posting the birthday girl's face is blurred and they're I.
Think that that. I think what you would do with that person.
I think if that person came to you and said that they really needed a birthday post from you, I think that you would absolutely do it.
And then I think you'd probably never speak.
To them again.
You know what? I put together the most spectacular posts that eat like a twenty minute reel, just never ending.
The one you did for my birthday this year, exactly like that one that you requested.
Okay, when I called you.
That night and I said, I you talked to you about something really.
Yeah, yeah, when you took me through exactly what you wanted, posted and sent me the pics.
Okay, By the way, I want to hear from our group. I want to hear from our crew who.
Feels like a birthday gift for registry is a good idea. I'm okay with it not being a good idea. No one needs to make me happy. I'm just curious if anyone's understanding where.
I'm Yeah, no, trust me, we'll find out. This little this little pole cracked me up. Okay, more people like than dislike singing Happy Birthday to someone.
But thirties, I can't understand you.
I'm with thirty six say they feel neutral about it.
I don't even understand anything you just said.
Thirty There is six percent of people polled feeling neutral about singing Happy.
Birth I think I feel neutral about it.
I know.
I'm just laughing that, like you checked the neutral box, like you're.
Slightly dead inside.
No, it's just such a formality.
And every time I send someone a video on their birthday and I start singing the song, I'm I'm disappointed I made that choice, and then I gotta finish it.
You can't like do what I like, And I have occasionally been like, happy birthday to you.
So it's your birthday.
You wait, you always finish the song usually when I start it. Really, I don't think people need that.
It's not an easy song to sing, by the way, I don't know.
If people need that in their inbox. Not the fool shebang, Oh my god.
Parents.
Seventy percent of parents prefer outdoor birthday parties for their kids.
The average duration of a child's birthday party is two to three hours, and about forty five percent of parents hire a professional event planner for their child's birth I don't know who those people are.
I don't I have not met those again, I've done it.
I'm just saying.
That that looks in the ary mirror like not the right choice.
Listen.
I understand it for maybe like a sweet sixteen, like you're doing a blowout, but if your kids, sends are like a knur or something like yeah, or like you know, yeah, Okay. So when you're actually celebrating your birthday and you're sitting there at the lunch or the dinner, there's always the inevitable moment where someone in your party has either brought a cake, or they've said to the restaurant, you know's we've got a birthday, Yeah, and you have to pretend to not know it's happening. Yeah.
Yeah.
And then when they come out with the cake and everybody's staring at you and singing happy birthday, How does that feel for you inside?
Kamila, Well, I used to dread that moment because I felt so awkward, and now I just mentally check out.
A little bit and I smiled inside.
Yeah, I'm dead as I'm smiling, and then I and then I, you know, it takes a little bit too long, and then I blow out the candles and insult.
But it feels awkward always for you.
Have you why do I feel like you kind of there was a stage in your life where you were like, where the fuck is that dessert?
You're like, did they can tell them or not?
And you like go up and you're like, just so you know it's my birthday, just in case they didn't.
I think that me.
Revealing that I had a birthday registry list has made you see me in a whole other light.
It is I see the truth.
And I just think that that was just one piece of MEA Kamela we don't need to, you know, stretch it out to every other part.
Well, I'm throwing the question back at you. How do you feel you bloody love it?
No, here's what I here's what I.
Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm revealing how Leo I am right now.
So it's amazing Leo is.
I don't like the singing. I do find that awkward. It's fine, but it's like a necessary situation. So I don't like not like it. I just I think everybody finds it a awkward. Here's what I love, like live for like maybe wait every single year or so that this can happen.
Okay, I'm bracing myself. I'm thinking about it.
How I can say it.
Just remember I'm a Leoh okay, just rip off the band aid for all of us.
It is look at me with kindness.
Sure, I really really really like when people go around the table.
No and toast me.
I love it.
Hang on hmm, okay, just saying to take a long moment.
I need to clarify what this is. Is this go around? I don't think I've ever had anyone go around the table and toast me. I'm assuming this isn't like cheers, cheers, cheers Like this is people going around this table and saying, you know what, let's all just say one really just something we really.
Love about Jessica Amy.
You start, is that what you're talking about?
I mean, not in that voice, but yeah, oh my, I clearly need to invite you to win my birthday celebrations and conversation to have so that you could be prepared.
I will not be going one.
Of my love languages. Actually, I would say my love language is words of affirmation. Camilla Laudington, how do you not?
I don't even know who you.
Are right now? This birthday thing might have split us.
It might.
It might because the sage and me is like, would be thinking, can we can wrap this birthday up?
I like, yeah, yeah. When it gets to me, I'm like, yea, yeah, it's great, move it along, great.
Well you know what, maybe maybe okay, fine, well maybe.
At midnight this is over, so got it going?
All right?
Well, I'm giving my tuchial birthday and you're we're gonna be together for one of my birthdays, and I'm going to reveal to you how very special it can be.
Yeah.
No, I'm gonna live stream it.
I'm gonna live stream so everyone can have everybody take part.
Wow, I'm seeing.
You in a different light today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's okay.
Happy birthday to you, Jessica Capshaw, and if anyone in the comments would like to give her some affirmations, she will be reading them.
Happy birthday to all of us Leo's around the world.
Yeah, I do love a Leo. I love Leo's.
Well, then you have to love all of us, and this is what comes with us.
I do love all I love it. I love it, I love every part of it. It tickles me so much.
All right, Well, this is another episode of Short and Sweet, although.
This one might have not been so sweet. I don't know, Ashley.
I think it was sickly sweet, sickly sweet.
I don't know. Someone might have been a little sour.
My god, this is my favorite one. This is a sour. I'm sorry you guys had to listen to this today.
We'll make it up to you later.
We will make it up to you later, signing off Short and Sweet, Pet and the Pet