Hi.

Hi.

This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, and speaker.

This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, and speaker.

And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are two working parents who love our careers and our families.

And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are two working parents who love our careers and our families.

Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. In this episode, we're going to be tackling the topic of aging, something that we are all doing because the alternative is much worse, So we're trying to have a open mind about it and embracing all the things that come with getting older. Sarah, are you embracing everything that comes with getting older?

Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. In this episode, we're going to be tackling the topic of aging, something that we are all doing because the alternative is much worse, So we're trying to have a open mind about it and embracing all the things that come with getting older. Sarah, are you embracing everything that comes with getting older?

No, I mean some what I don't feel. I mean, you know, as everybody says, aging is certainly better than the alternative, and I one hundred percent agree with that, and I feel very lucky to generally be very healthy. But we all have things that we have to learn to deal with, to learn to accept and so that is what spawned this episode. In addition to the fact that there's lots of birthdays.

No, I mean some what I don't feel. I mean, you know, as everybody says, aging is certainly better than the alternative, and I one hundred percent agree with that, and I feel very lucky to generally be very healthy. But we all have things that we have to learn to deal with, to learn to accept and so that is what spawned this episode. In addition to the fact that there's lots of birthdays.

Coming up, we are not actually airing this on my birthday. I was like, we do aging episode. Ooh, we could air that on Laura's birthday. And then I'm like, no, I don't want to talk about my birthday and aging and be so like obviously linked that way. Anyway, So like when you were growing up, I'm very curious, like what were your attitudes about aging and like what did you sort of absorb in your household and especially as it comes to like women aging.

Coming up, we are not actually airing this on my birthday. I was like, we do aging episode. Ooh, we could air that on Laura's birthday. And then I'm like, no, I don't want to talk about my birthday and aging and be so like obviously linked that way. Anyway, So like when you were growing up, I'm very curious, like what were your attitudes about aging and like what did you sort of absorb in your household and especially as it comes to like women aging.

Yeah, I think this is so fascinating. So hi, Mom, if you're listening. I don't know if my mom listens very often, but if you are high, she never talked about aging, didn't do a much discussion about really anything related to looks or beauty or anything like that. It just like has never been part of her value system. Like I feel like she values health and stuff like that. But like I used to joke that, like she had this makeup and I would like sneak and look at it, and I think it was from the mid seventies and by then it was like the nineties, So like they're just, They're just And I don't know if it was like an early women's lib thing like from the sixties, like it's not feminist to care about your appearance or something like that. And I don't mean to say that she was like looking terrible, but it just wasn't like there was no skincare going on. She did begin coloring her hair, maybe in her fifties for a period of time, and I remember being like somewhat shocked by that because it actually did not mesh with like kind of like the vibe that I had grown up with expecting. So yeah, I mean, I have friends who will tell me that their parents like bought them the three step clinque system and always taught them to moisturize, or some savvy grandmother that said, like, always wear sunglasses to prevent wrinkles. But I did not get any of that growing up. That is not to say that I didn't care about my looks or more superficial things. In some ways, I think it was a form of rebellion to want to buy makeup and care about that kind of stuff, But it just wasn't what I was bathed in, how about you.

Yeah, I think this is so fascinating. So hi, Mom, if you're listening. I don't know if my mom listens very often, but if you are high, she never talked about aging, didn't do a much discussion about really anything related to looks or beauty or anything like that. It just like has never been part of her value system. Like I feel like she values health and stuff like that. But like I used to joke that, like she had this makeup and I would like sneak and look at it, and I think it was from the mid seventies and by then it was like the nineties, So like they're just, They're just And I don't know if it was like an early women's lib thing like from the sixties, like it's not feminist to care about your appearance or something like that. And I don't mean to say that she was like looking terrible, but it just wasn't like there was no skincare going on. She did begin coloring her hair, maybe in her fifties for a period of time, and I remember being like somewhat shocked by that because it actually did not mesh with like kind of like the vibe that I had grown up with expecting. So yeah, I mean, I have friends who will tell me that their parents like bought them the three step clinque system and always taught them to moisturize, or some savvy grandmother that said, like, always wear sunglasses to prevent wrinkles. But I did not get any of that growing up. That is not to say that I didn't care about my looks or more superficial things. In some ways, I think it was a form of rebellion to want to buy makeup and care about that kind of stuff, But it just wasn't what I was bathed in, how about you.

Yeah, No, it certainly didn't get a whole lot of information on skincare or anything associated with that. Anything I've done is sort of that I've more figured out on my own, but I do yeah, So I don't have particular memories of it. I do know that I read somewhere and I think this is when I was a teenager about hair, that you could have long hair until age thirty and then it needed to be shoulder length or shorter, and by forty it should be chin length or shorter, which I now think is absolutely crazy, like that this was the rule that was out there, because most of the women I know who are forty plus have long hair now, and so I don't know if this is a total change of what aging is supposed to look like, that you're allowed to keep your long hair into your forties. But with that, no one I know has wrinkles on their foreheads. This is such a revelation to me. For a long time, I had wrinkles on my foreheads, and at some point you have this realization, like why does nobody else have wrinkles on their foreheads? I mean, it's almost like if you didn't know that people like shave their armpits and you went to the beach and you're like, wait a minute, why why does everybody look different than me? And so it was this revelation I was like, oh, yeah, everyone is getting botox. It's not that I am the only person in my late thirties with wrinkles on my forehead and everyone else has been so, you know, genetically blessed not to experience this. It's that everyone is getting it done. Most people I know do not have great, great hair. That's another thing, like it's just not seen as something you do. You dye your hair, you get botox, and I'm sure there are people I know in real life for are like I don't do that. Okay, fine, I'm not saying everyone. But it was to the point where I was noticing it that it would just seem like not acceptable to have short, gray hair and wrinkles on your forehead in your mid forties, or.

Yeah, No, it certainly didn't get a whole lot of information on skincare or anything associated with that. Anything I've done is sort of that I've more figured out on my own, but I do yeah, So I don't have particular memories of it. I do know that I read somewhere and I think this is when I was a teenager about hair, that you could have long hair until age thirty and then it needed to be shoulder length or shorter, and by forty it should be chin length or shorter, which I now think is absolutely crazy, like that this was the rule that was out there, because most of the women I know who are forty plus have long hair now, and so I don't know if this is a total change of what aging is supposed to look like, that you're allowed to keep your long hair into your forties. But with that, no one I know has wrinkles on their foreheads. This is such a revelation to me. For a long time, I had wrinkles on my foreheads, and at some point you have this realization, like why does nobody else have wrinkles on their foreheads? I mean, it's almost like if you didn't know that people like shave their armpits and you went to the beach and you're like, wait a minute, why why does everybody look different than me? And so it was this revelation I was like, oh, yeah, everyone is getting botox. It's not that I am the only person in my late thirties with wrinkles on my forehead and everyone else has been so, you know, genetically blessed not to experience this. It's that everyone is getting it done. Most people I know do not have great, great hair. That's another thing, like it's just not seen as something you do. You dye your hair, you get botox, and I'm sure there are people I know in real life for are like I don't do that. Okay, fine, I'm not saying everyone. But it was to the point where I was noticing it that it would just seem like not acceptable to have short, gray hair and wrinkles on your forehead in your mid forties, or.

At least not typical, not to be unusual, it would be unusual.

At least not typical, not to be unusual, it would be unusual.

And so I guess in that way aging we were all pushing off aging as long as the cosmetic and various other things in the world will will let us do so. But partly, I mean it's also that many people still have like little kids in their mid forties at this point too, right, Like you're not in grandma mode. Nobody I know in their mid forties is a grandma either. So it's like, you know.

And so I guess in that way aging we were all pushing off aging as long as the cosmetic and various other things in the world will will let us do so. But partly, I mean it's also that many people still have like little kids in their mid forties at this point too, right, Like you're not in grandma mode. Nobody I know in their mid forties is a grandma either. So it's like, you know.

That's so true. I mean, obviously that's very specific to different demographics and things like that, because there are plenty of people out there who are in there.

That's so true. I mean, obviously that's very specific to different demographics and things like that, because there are plenty of people out there who are in there.

Of course, there are tons of grandma's in their forties, like I've been saying there is, And that's not like you're not even talking about teen pregnancy thing here. You can very much have a grandchild in your mid to late forties and it would be totally normal. But there's been that sort of demographic shift where a lot of people are actually having their final child in like their late thirties early forties, and so I've skipped an entire generation here. But if you're still in that young kid mode, you probably don't feel like you should reflect that how you look.

Of course, there are tons of grandma's in their forties, like I've been saying there is, And that's not like you're not even talking about teen pregnancy thing here. You can very much have a grandchild in your mid to late forties and it would be totally normal. But there's been that sort of demographic shift where a lot of people are actually having their final child in like their late thirties early forties, and so I've skipped an entire generation here. But if you're still in that young kid mode, you probably don't feel like you should reflect that how you look.

And you're kind of an interesting one there because you have kids that are on the older side of the spectrum. And I can think of like some friends or people I know that have kids that are like in the high school years and they're almost at the empty nest phase in their mid forties, whereas you're getting that part. But then you're also like, oh no, no, no, my empty nest is like.

And you're kind of an interesting one there because you have kids that are on the older side of the spectrum. And I can think of like some friends or people I know that have kids that are like in the high school years and they're almost at the empty nest phase in their mid forties, whereas you're getting that part. But then you're also like, oh no, no, no, my empty nest is like.

Way more than a decadears in the teaching.

Way more than a decadears in the teaching.

So it does kind of change because then you're going to the preschool bash with all the like thirty year old or thirty two year old moms that have their first kid. That is your youngest age. So it does put you a kind of an interesting situation and you kind of span such a generation there.

So it does kind of change because then you're going to the preschool bash with all the like thirty year old or thirty two year old moms that have their first kid. That is your youngest age. So it does put you a kind of an interesting situation and you kind of span such a generation there.

Yeah, although they probably there aren't that many moms and they're early thirties with the preschool. That's another thing that's become apparent as well, that having Jasper in my twenties was still for you know, this area and for the circles you wind up in it is still pretty young. So I see that reflected at the high school and then you know, I'm not so out of line there. Preschool maybe a bit more out of line, but anyway, so yeah, I feel maybe there's like some less carte blanche to age visibly at this point. So we wind up doing stuff. I mean, so we could both say we both got botox, We're okay.

Yeah, although they probably there aren't that many moms and they're early thirties with the preschool. That's another thing that's become apparent as well, that having Jasper in my twenties was still for you know, this area and for the circles you wind up in it is still pretty young. So I see that reflected at the high school and then you know, I'm not so out of line there. Preschool maybe a bit more out of line, but anyway, so yeah, I feel maybe there's like some less carte blanche to age visibly at this point. So we wind up doing stuff. I mean, so we could both say we both got botox, We're okay.

Yeah, we're going to go through like lists of what we do. I think people want to know.

Yeah, we're going to go through like lists of what we do. I think people want to know.

Yeah, yeah, So how have your forties differed from your thirties so far?

Yeah, yeah, So how have your forties differed from your thirties so far?

Sarah, Well, you know, on the beauty regimen's side, I started getting botox right around forty. I remember my husband was like really, like why, and I'm like, nope, doing it for me, doing it because everyone else is doing it. I feel better when I do. So I'm doing it, and I do find it pretty helpful from an energy perspective. I know, like I'm supposed to feel more tired, don't really feel more tired. Maybe that's coming. Maybe that's more of the fifties thing. I find that exercise really helps my energy. I'm in a really good exercise groove, thankfully running again after my injury, and so I I don't feel too tired, which is great. I mean, late at night I'm tired, but I've gone a really early I have a good, nice window of seven hours of sleep and then the rest of the time being pretty energetic. I will say like pregnancy was harder in my late thirties than it was in my early thirties, but it's always hard to compare that because my first pregnancy I didn't have any kids, so I would like come home and put my feet up, and like I had no other real of responsibilities other than work, Whereas by the time I had Genevie, if I had like a three year old and a five year old, you know, they were very active. So that's a little harder to compare. I do feel like alcohol is less agreeable to my body in my forties compared to my thirties. Like I know that if I drink like two glasses of wine then I'm going to really not be happy, and that I generally sleep better with zero in my system. So I kind of only drink socially and I generally stick to one or one and a half, like all sometimes order that second drink and halfway through and be like, yeah, I'm not gonna be happy about this tomorrow and just like not finish it on purpose. And I feel like when I was thirty that would never have even occurred to me. And then hair, so I have not started coloring my hair. I do have like some gray hairs, but it's pretty subtle. And so I'm just like kind of riding this train for as long as I feel comfortable riding it. I'm not really excited about coloring it because I already spend so much time straightening it, and I feel like my hair is going to be very hard to match. So if I just end up with a gray streaks that gradually turns into gray, that just like might be my thing, that'll be your thing. I'll have to work, you know, really work. I'd be like Stacy London.

Sarah, Well, you know, on the beauty regimen's side, I started getting botox right around forty. I remember my husband was like really, like why, and I'm like, nope, doing it for me, doing it because everyone else is doing it. I feel better when I do. So I'm doing it, and I do find it pretty helpful from an energy perspective. I know, like I'm supposed to feel more tired, don't really feel more tired. Maybe that's coming. Maybe that's more of the fifties thing. I find that exercise really helps my energy. I'm in a really good exercise groove, thankfully running again after my injury, and so I I don't feel too tired, which is great. I mean, late at night I'm tired, but I've gone a really early I have a good, nice window of seven hours of sleep and then the rest of the time being pretty energetic. I will say like pregnancy was harder in my late thirties than it was in my early thirties, but it's always hard to compare that because my first pregnancy I didn't have any kids, so I would like come home and put my feet up, and like I had no other real of responsibilities other than work, Whereas by the time I had Genevie, if I had like a three year old and a five year old, you know, they were very active. So that's a little harder to compare. I do feel like alcohol is less agreeable to my body in my forties compared to my thirties. Like I know that if I drink like two glasses of wine then I'm going to really not be happy, and that I generally sleep better with zero in my system. So I kind of only drink socially and I generally stick to one or one and a half, like all sometimes order that second drink and halfway through and be like, yeah, I'm not gonna be happy about this tomorrow and just like not finish it on purpose. And I feel like when I was thirty that would never have even occurred to me. And then hair, so I have not started coloring my hair. I do have like some gray hairs, but it's pretty subtle. And so I'm just like kind of riding this train for as long as I feel comfortable riding it. I'm not really excited about coloring it because I already spend so much time straightening it, and I feel like my hair is going to be very hard to match. So if I just end up with a gray streaks that gradually turns into gray, that just like might be my thing, that'll be your thing. I'll have to work, you know, really work. I'd be like Stacy London.

Yeah, no, that's true, she has the nice gray streaks. How are my forties different from my thirties, Well, I don't know. My back hurts. I still trying to sort that one out because I, you know, I've managed to mostly solve other issues. You know, I had this really boring reflux related condition that I don't need to go into, but I you know, the resulting that I take medication for that and don't eat dairy products, and that has ninety percent solved it. Right, Like, I have an episode every two weeks or so, and I am reminded of how terrible it was when this was every day, But it isn't every day anymore. So that is great, you know, so in that sense, life is better. But then my back started hurting, so I was like, well, you know, you go from one thing to the other. So I don't know, you know, maybe maybe if I lost five to ten pounds that might improve, but maybe not. I'm trying to do a lot of stretching and back exercises to strength in it and you know, core exercises to try and take some of the pressure off of it and hopefully figuring that out over time. We'll say that will be the next frontier of attempting to solve aging related issues.

Yeah, no, that's true, she has the nice gray streaks. How are my forties different from my thirties, Well, I don't know. My back hurts. I still trying to sort that one out because I, you know, I've managed to mostly solve other issues. You know, I had this really boring reflux related condition that I don't need to go into, but I you know, the resulting that I take medication for that and don't eat dairy products, and that has ninety percent solved it. Right, Like, I have an episode every two weeks or so, and I am reminded of how terrible it was when this was every day, But it isn't every day anymore. So that is great, you know, so in that sense, life is better. But then my back started hurting, so I was like, well, you know, you go from one thing to the other. So I don't know, you know, maybe maybe if I lost five to ten pounds that might improve, but maybe not. I'm trying to do a lot of stretching and back exercises to strength in it and you know, core exercises to try and take some of the pressure off of it and hopefully figuring that out over time. We'll say that will be the next frontier of attempting to solve aging related issues.

All right, Well, now we're going to take a little bit of a deeper dive into skincare. I already confess to my botox, but hopefully or not hopefully, but in some cases people do more than that. So I would say I am like not a minimalist, but I don't do a ton of like proactive different things. So my current routine is usually at well, I do wash my face. I usually use fresh soy face wash, which I got that wreck from a friend and it has an amazing job of being super gentle but also taking off makeup. And I use cetopel in the shower, so super cheap kind of version of that. And then I do a daily tinted moisturizer every day that has sunscreen like SPF I think thirty five or forty, so that way my face is always at least somewhat protected from the sun. I try to use some kind of product that has retinol in it. In the evening, I went back to the Ullwer beauty box, and so usually I use whatever they send me that has retinol in it. So the product varies, but it's an incredibly cost effective way to have some really nice products. And maybe the concentration varies and that's probably not ideal, but it works okay. And then, as I mentioned the botox, I gotta say I probably did myself a favor going to the dermatologist the last time, because I was finally like, fine, you can do a skin check too, because normally I just go and get my procedure, and then I got biopseed and then they're like, ooh, that actually doesn't look good. Now you need the whole thing off. So now I'm like, wow, my life was saved by my vanity by your boatox.

All right, Well, now we're going to take a little bit of a deeper dive into skincare. I already confess to my botox, but hopefully or not hopefully, but in some cases people do more than that. So I would say I am like not a minimalist, but I don't do a ton of like proactive different things. So my current routine is usually at well, I do wash my face. I usually use fresh soy face wash, which I got that wreck from a friend and it has an amazing job of being super gentle but also taking off makeup. And I use cetopel in the shower, so super cheap kind of version of that. And then I do a daily tinted moisturizer every day that has sunscreen like SPF I think thirty five or forty, so that way my face is always at least somewhat protected from the sun. I try to use some kind of product that has retinol in it. In the evening, I went back to the Ullwer beauty box, and so usually I use whatever they send me that has retinol in it. So the product varies, but it's an incredibly cost effective way to have some really nice products. And maybe the concentration varies and that's probably not ideal, but it works okay. And then, as I mentioned the botox, I gotta say I probably did myself a favor going to the dermatologist the last time, because I was finally like, fine, you can do a skin check too, because normally I just go and get my procedure, and then I got biopseed and then they're like, ooh, that actually doesn't look good. Now you need the whole thing off. So now I'm like, wow, my life was saved by my vanity by your boatox.

That's great. Hey, I got you in the dirm office and if they find something while they're there, that's that's good. Yeah. So well, I'm curious what does the retinal do.

That's great. Hey, I got you in the dirm office and if they find something while they're there, that's that's good. Yeah. So well, I'm curious what does the retinal do.

It's one of the few substances that there's data behind preventing. It's anti aging, it helps skin turnover and preventative of frinkles. So at least that's what my dorm says. She's like, if you're going to use one thing, use something with retinol. You can actually get products with retinyl prescription at a very good price, especially if you have insurance that covers some medications. And so some people go that route. But I've just kind of gone the like, whatever label has some retinol or retinal in it that I happen to have, I'll use it. I do like the Luna face oil from Sunday Riley, So when I'm really feeling splurgy, I buy that and I use it because I like the smell of it and the feel of it.

It's one of the few substances that there's data behind preventing. It's anti aging, it helps skin turnover and preventative of frinkles. So at least that's what my dorm says. She's like, if you're going to use one thing, use something with retinol. You can actually get products with retinyl prescription at a very good price, especially if you have insurance that covers some medications. And so some people go that route. But I've just kind of gone the like, whatever label has some retinol or retinal in it that I happen to have, I'll use it. I do like the Luna face oil from Sunday Riley, So when I'm really feeling splurgy, I buy that and I use it because I like the smell of it and the feel of it.

Oh well, maybe I'll try that. Yes, So I wash my face, which is sadly a bit of a you know, improvement on previous situation. I think I would always often just like get annoyed about having to wash my face at night and just kind of fall asleep. And that turns out to not be a great idea in terms of you know, just like blemishes and stuff like that and having makeup still on your face. So a couple of years ago I decided that I didn't have to like it, but I did have to wash my face every single night, and I have done it, done it for four years now. I guess every single night, and I, you know, use this Oh, I forget what the name is. It's a it's a European it's like a Scandinavian name or something. But it's an orange like truth juice or whatever. It smells. Oh, hendricks ol Hendrickson, that's it. And it smells nice and orange, which I like. And so I use that at night, and then I use this grapefruit like nutri gena wash in the shower in the morning, and after I washed my face at night with warm water because it turns out that part of the problem was cold water. Like I don't want to put cold water when I'm cold at night and going to bed, I usually moisturize with something. And whatever that is is going to be different depending on what have right now. I have just like the random ola and a big bottle. I've done the regeneroust tubs, the little tiny tubs of more expensive stuff. I don't think it really matters and just do whatever, because the truth is, you know, none of those like truly get rid of your wrinkles. Like to get rid of your wrinkles, you need to do attacks. So now that I know that, I feel like, oh, you don't have to do expensive moisturizers, which I also started getting a few years ago. I mean, it's fine. I like it. I don't think I would not do it now just because I feel like I'd be too wrinkly without it. It doesn't get rid of everything, like I still have the stuff around my eyes, but the ones on my forehead are basically gone for at least a couple of weeks. But as they pointed out to me, I seem to have a very fast metabolism, so it's gone within a certain amount of time. So even just doing it every three months, like I'm full on wrinkly again by the end of three months. I guess that's just just the way my wrinkles want to be.

Oh well, maybe I'll try that. Yes, So I wash my face, which is sadly a bit of a you know, improvement on previous situation. I think I would always often just like get annoyed about having to wash my face at night and just kind of fall asleep. And that turns out to not be a great idea in terms of you know, just like blemishes and stuff like that and having makeup still on your face. So a couple of years ago I decided that I didn't have to like it, but I did have to wash my face every single night, and I have done it, done it for four years now. I guess every single night, and I, you know, use this Oh, I forget what the name is. It's a it's a European it's like a Scandinavian name or something. But it's an orange like truth juice or whatever. It smells. Oh, hendricks ol Hendrickson, that's it. And it smells nice and orange, which I like. And so I use that at night, and then I use this grapefruit like nutri gena wash in the shower in the morning, and after I washed my face at night with warm water because it turns out that part of the problem was cold water. Like I don't want to put cold water when I'm cold at night and going to bed, I usually moisturize with something. And whatever that is is going to be different depending on what have right now. I have just like the random ola and a big bottle. I've done the regeneroust tubs, the little tiny tubs of more expensive stuff. I don't think it really matters and just do whatever, because the truth is, you know, none of those like truly get rid of your wrinkles. Like to get rid of your wrinkles, you need to do attacks. So now that I know that, I feel like, oh, you don't have to do expensive moisturizers, which I also started getting a few years ago. I mean, it's fine. I like it. I don't think I would not do it now just because I feel like I'd be too wrinkly without it. It doesn't get rid of everything, like I still have the stuff around my eyes, but the ones on my forehead are basically gone for at least a couple of weeks. But as they pointed out to me, I seem to have a very fast metabolism, so it's gone within a certain amount of time. So even just doing it every three months, like I'm full on wrinkly again by the end of three months. I guess that's just just the way my wrinkles want to be.

Interesting. Mine definitely is wearing off by three months, as I demonstrated to you when we got to see each other. I was like, hey, I just got it two days ago and it hasn't kicked in. So but I feel like, it's not totally out of my system in that time period, so it works.

Interesting. Mine definitely is wearing off by three months, as I demonstrated to you when we got to see each other. I was like, hey, I just got it two days ago and it hasn't kicked in. So but I feel like, it's not totally out of my system in that time period, so it works.

Yeah. Yeah. I also color my hair. You know, I started doing this when I was fifteen, so it had nothing to do with the grays, and I've just kept pretty much the same color ever since. It's Laurel Preference nine and a half A that's the ash toned light blonde. And anyone who's seen picture of me. Somebody once said, well, you got to show us pictures of the before and after, and I said, I colored my own hair. I'm like, it looked the same before as it does after because it's been the same color for twenty plus, not twenty thirty, almost thirty years, you know, So it's not like a you're going to see a visible change, but it's just I keep doing it. I'm pretty sure I have some grays because when it grows in, I see a little bit of gray and the top. It's not over the top noticeable at this point, but I wouldn't even really know because I just do it every you know, six weeks or so, and so I keep the same color and it's been fine. Yeah, I would think it would blend really well with gray anyway, because it's hit. So that's true. Yeah, we know people say, well, women don't get gray, or they just get blonder or as they get older, and I guess that's the case. I just keep the same blonde I always had. All right, Well, we're going to take a quick ad break and we come back. We'll be talking more about aging. All right, Well, we are back with this episode talking about aging the various things that we are doing in the process of getting older, which, as we continue to point out, is always better than the alternative. So, Sarah, you actually went and did your skin check. That's good. Anything else did? I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. I also color my hair. You know, I started doing this when I was fifteen, so it had nothing to do with the grays, and I've just kept pretty much the same color ever since. It's Laurel Preference nine and a half A that's the ash toned light blonde. And anyone who's seen picture of me. Somebody once said, well, you got to show us pictures of the before and after, and I said, I colored my own hair. I'm like, it looked the same before as it does after because it's been the same color for twenty plus, not twenty thirty, almost thirty years, you know, So it's not like a you're going to see a visible change, but it's just I keep doing it. I'm pretty sure I have some grays because when it grows in, I see a little bit of gray and the top. It's not over the top noticeable at this point, but I wouldn't even really know because I just do it every you know, six weeks or so, and so I keep the same color and it's been fine. Yeah, I would think it would blend really well with gray anyway, because it's hit. So that's true. Yeah, we know people say, well, women don't get gray, or they just get blonder or as they get older, and I guess that's the case. I just keep the same blonde I always had. All right, Well, we're going to take a quick ad break and we come back. We'll be talking more about aging. All right, Well, we are back with this episode talking about aging the various things that we are doing in the process of getting older, which, as we continue to point out, is always better than the alternative. So, Sarah, you actually went and did your skin check. That's good. Anything else did? I mean?

I do my primary care type stuff. So I believe it either was or is like a requirement for my insurance to get the best rate in terms of like for our healthcare system, Like you have to get a flu shot, you have to certify that you're non smoking, and then I don't even know if it's still in there, but at one point you had to verify that you saw your primary every year. And so I'm like in the habit of doing it. I kind of like doing it because I like to get labs because I don't know, I want to see, like what my cholesterol does like and that part's kind of fun. But I also have to say when I had my injury recently, it was really nice that I now know my PCP, like I've seen him for like almost a decade now, not every year probably, but close to it, and so he kind of like knows my baseline and we have a rapport and it just like makes it easier to be like, hey, you know me, I'm gonna go crazy if I can't run, like please help me, Like what do I do? What do I need? And like he helped me get the imaging I need and stuff like that. So I like value that relationship and I do go to the o B every year, although maybe I'll be less motivated to do that because I've taken myself off of various medications. So yeah, I mean I do the basic stuff and I don't mind doing it. I have not had my first kolonoscopy yet, but I guess that's supposed to be at forty five. And I do do mammograms, although I really really dislike doing them, but it's I'm glad I do good for you.

I do my primary care type stuff. So I believe it either was or is like a requirement for my insurance to get the best rate in terms of like for our healthcare system, Like you have to get a flu shot, you have to certify that you're non smoking, and then I don't even know if it's still in there, but at one point you had to verify that you saw your primary every year. And so I'm like in the habit of doing it. I kind of like doing it because I like to get labs because I don't know, I want to see, like what my cholesterol does like and that part's kind of fun. But I also have to say when I had my injury recently, it was really nice that I now know my PCP, like I've seen him for like almost a decade now, not every year probably, but close to it, and so he kind of like knows my baseline and we have a rapport and it just like makes it easier to be like, hey, you know me, I'm gonna go crazy if I can't run, like please help me, Like what do I do? What do I need? And like he helped me get the imaging I need and stuff like that. So I like value that relationship and I do go to the o B every year, although maybe I'll be less motivated to do that because I've taken myself off of various medications. So yeah, I mean I do the basic stuff and I don't mind doing it. I have not had my first kolonoscopy yet, but I guess that's supposed to be at forty five. And I do do mammograms, although I really really dislike doing them, but it's I'm glad I do good for you.

You are a good healthcare citizen. I am not as good at a healthcare citizen. I don't know. I feel like I got so burnt out with doctor visits with so many babies over the years that I've just generally been avoiding metals, taking a break, taking a break. I'll get back to it once. I'm sort of aired out from the experience of many, many years of babies and such. But my kids go to the doctor regularly, so that's good. Nobody write me and scold me. I don't want to hear it. All right, let's talk about fashion, Sarah, Fashion and aging. Have you changed what you wear over the years or do you think there are any rules as we get older for what we can wear.

You are a good healthcare citizen. I am not as good at a healthcare citizen. I don't know. I feel like I got so burnt out with doctor visits with so many babies over the years that I've just generally been avoiding metals, taking a break, taking a break. I'll get back to it once. I'm sort of aired out from the experience of many, many years of babies and such. But my kids go to the doctor regularly, so that's good. Nobody write me and scold me. I don't want to hear it. All right, let's talk about fashion, Sarah, Fashion and aging. Have you changed what you wear over the years or do you think there are any rules as we get older for what we can wear.

Do you remember, well, I'm sure you remember, because you were like a magazine person, like the very very popular stories like in Vogue or even in like I don't know, mademoiselle. That would be like dressing for each decade. Here's the outfit for your teens, here's the outfit for your twenties. And by the fifties, they were like shrouded in like like full on.

Do you remember, well, I'm sure you remember, because you were like a magazine person, like the very very popular stories like in Vogue or even in like I don't know, mademoiselle. That would be like dressing for each decade. Here's the outfit for your teens, here's the outfit for your twenties. And by the fifties, they were like shrouded in like like full on.

Like hooded robes pretty much.

Like hooded robes pretty much.

So I like remember being steeped in that growing up. But I feel like times have changed, and I do live in South Florida, and like you will see like sixties plus more women like strutting their stuff in like thongs on the beach. So I do appreciate the fact that people have gotten more open minded about like what you're allowed to wear at certain ages. I remember posting on my blog maybe a few years ago that I was like, can I still wear cutoff change shorts? And people were like yes, and then I bought them and I still wear them and it's totally fine. And I also, I guess part of it is like not as much caring, like I don't see myself as much as like, I don't know, like I just feel like I'm more likely to just be invisible if I want to be. And so I actually feel better about wearing a sports bru now than I might have fought when I was twenty five and following people might pay attention. And also it's really really hot here, and so I just like less self conscious. So I don't know, I still wear two piece bathing suits. My daughter was like, I don't know, are you were like still gonna like how long are you gonna wear those? I'm like thanks, But I wore a high waisted one in the keys and I didn't feel too ridiculous. I don't like wearing bathing suits or swimming in general, but like it was fine, and I just I feel like there is just more diversity of style, Like there used to be like, oh, everyone's wearing skinny jeans, everyone's wearing street jeans, and now like I see all different kinds of shapes of jeans out there. I like that, and I don't feel like any specific age is wearing any specific style.

So I like remember being steeped in that growing up. But I feel like times have changed, and I do live in South Florida, and like you will see like sixties plus more women like strutting their stuff in like thongs on the beach. So I do appreciate the fact that people have gotten more open minded about like what you're allowed to wear at certain ages. I remember posting on my blog maybe a few years ago that I was like, can I still wear cutoff change shorts? And people were like yes, and then I bought them and I still wear them and it's totally fine. And I also, I guess part of it is like not as much caring, like I don't see myself as much as like, I don't know, like I just feel like I'm more likely to just be invisible if I want to be. And so I actually feel better about wearing a sports bru now than I might have fought when I was twenty five and following people might pay attention. And also it's really really hot here, and so I just like less self conscious. So I don't know, I still wear two piece bathing suits. My daughter was like, I don't know, are you were like still gonna like how long are you gonna wear those? I'm like thanks, But I wore a high waisted one in the keys and I didn't feel too ridiculous. I don't like wearing bathing suits or swimming in general, but like it was fine, and I just I feel like there is just more diversity of style, Like there used to be like, oh, everyone's wearing skinny jeans, everyone's wearing street jeans, and now like I see all different kinds of shapes of jeans out there. I like that, and I don't feel like any specific age is wearing any specific style.

Yeah, I think I remember one of the first times I was just like, you know, okay, I feel old and like I would never wear what these kids are wearing. When I went to a concert. It was a Brad Paisley concert a few years ago. Michael and I went together, and I think I wore like jeans, a cute little top or whatever, and all these girls were wearing these tiny, little like jean shorts such that the pockets were hanging out the very country, very country, right, which I you know, now get like people wear this to like country music concerts, but I'm just like, why, like if your pockets are below the hemline of your shorts, like it feels like something went wrong here and maybe it's a style, but you know. I'm like, wow, I am such a funny diddy it here, But no, I will not be wearing shorts where the pockets are longer.

Yeah, I think I remember one of the first times I was just like, you know, okay, I feel old and like I would never wear what these kids are wearing. When I went to a concert. It was a Brad Paisley concert a few years ago. Michael and I went together, and I think I wore like jeans, a cute little top or whatever, and all these girls were wearing these tiny, little like jean shorts such that the pockets were hanging out the very country, very country, right, which I you know, now get like people wear this to like country music concerts, but I'm just like, why, like if your pockets are below the hemline of your shorts, like it feels like something went wrong here and maybe it's a style, but you know. I'm like, wow, I am such a funny diddy it here, But no, I will not be wearing shorts where the pockets are longer.

Than the short for the record for the record.

Than the short for the record for the record.

Or the record they come a little bit further down your thighs than that. Yes, that your genes will not be mistaken for your bathing suit bottoms. Yeah, I graduated to one pieces at some point in my mid thirties. I was like, no, this is probably not happening anymore. But it's more that I cannot stand to not be comfortable. And I don't know if that's what the I mean. Not that I ever wanted to be uncomfortable. I think I was just incredibly non fashionable for my entire life. But my tolerance for it has gone down even further from where it was, to the point where I was shopping for a dress for my husband's office holiday party because I always get caught short with this, I'm like, oh, wait, do I own anything? And I don't, And so then I wear the same thing I wore like three years ago, and it doesn't fit right anymore. I don't anyway, so and then I feel like why am I doing this? I was shopping online because I didn't want to go to a store, just like, what does Amazon have for holiday party dresses? And there were many that were just entirely terrible, which again I would never wear with like one shoulder out or like some slit up the side of that. But then I found I was only looking for like long sleeve dresses. It's nothing with like modesty or anything like that. It's like, it's December and it's cold, and I don't want to be cold. So I'm not gonna wear a strapped, little strappy dress to a holiday party because then I'll have to wear a coat with it inside. And I would wear the coat and everyone would be like, what on earth are you wearing a coat inside for? So I am going to be wearing a long sleeve dress.

Or the record they come a little bit further down your thighs than that. Yes, that your genes will not be mistaken for your bathing suit bottoms. Yeah, I graduated to one pieces at some point in my mid thirties. I was like, no, this is probably not happening anymore. But it's more that I cannot stand to not be comfortable. And I don't know if that's what the I mean. Not that I ever wanted to be uncomfortable. I think I was just incredibly non fashionable for my entire life. But my tolerance for it has gone down even further from where it was, to the point where I was shopping for a dress for my husband's office holiday party because I always get caught short with this, I'm like, oh, wait, do I own anything? And I don't, And so then I wear the same thing I wore like three years ago, and it doesn't fit right anymore. I don't anyway, so and then I feel like why am I doing this? I was shopping online because I didn't want to go to a store, just like, what does Amazon have for holiday party dresses? And there were many that were just entirely terrible, which again I would never wear with like one shoulder out or like some slit up the side of that. But then I found I was only looking for like long sleeve dresses. It's nothing with like modesty or anything like that. It's like, it's December and it's cold, and I don't want to be cold. So I'm not gonna wear a strapped, little strappy dress to a holiday party because then I'll have to wear a coat with it inside. And I would wear the coat and everyone would be like, what on earth are you wearing a coat inside for? So I am going to be wearing a long sleeve dress.

I actually, okay, this is like the most tangential side note, but like there was a really pretty long sleeve dress with like a contrasting like placket and it was like holiday. It was like wine colored with like a red in the Marine Layer catalog, and I'm like, I want this for the same reason. I'm like, that just looks so comfortable, like you could wear it with boots or like whatever. Shoes. It looked stretchy and like soft, and I'm with you, like I'm much less tolerant and like, don't get me started on shoes because I used to be queen of heels and I like to some extent, Yes, it's fun to be like more closer to everybody else's height, which is what happens when I put on heels, Like I'm not tall, but I'm like more eye to eye with people. But I do have a pair of like the platforms that I was wearing at best of plans live. Those are super comfortable. So there are like the rare bird shoes that give me some height and I can like walk in them all day. But beyond that, it's like no, just like hard. No, I'm not going to squeeze my toes. Some of that's from running. I'm just sort of like my feet are precious. I don't want to blister them.

I actually, okay, this is like the most tangential side note, but like there was a really pretty long sleeve dress with like a contrasting like placket and it was like holiday. It was like wine colored with like a red in the Marine Layer catalog, and I'm like, I want this for the same reason. I'm like, that just looks so comfortable, like you could wear it with boots or like whatever. Shoes. It looked stretchy and like soft, and I'm with you, like I'm much less tolerant and like, don't get me started on shoes because I used to be queen of heels and I like to some extent, Yes, it's fun to be like more closer to everybody else's height, which is what happens when I put on heels, Like I'm not tall, but I'm like more eye to eye with people. But I do have a pair of like the platforms that I was wearing at best of plans live. Those are super comfortable. So there are like the rare bird shoes that give me some height and I can like walk in them all day. But beyond that, it's like no, just like hard. No, I'm not going to squeeze my toes. Some of that's from running. I'm just sort of like my feet are precious. I don't want to blister them.

Up and for seel it's not worth it. Yeah, well I can't even you, I can't even walk and stuff like why would you wear it? Like I just don't understand it. I don't I don't get it. And with this years ago, bought a pair of Jimmy Chew stilettos for speaking related purposes, right, like if you're on a big conference stage and you're walking around and people can see your feet. I was like, yeah, I should probably wear you know, not like really fuddy duddy black heels that like all the other ladies are wearing fabulous shoes and I'm wearing this, you know, stuff that looks like orthopedic shoes, and I'm you know, this was when I was like thirty two. But anyway, so I bought the stilettas, and what I would do is I would take a little bag with regular shoes, stick it behind the curtain, put the shoes on, just to walk out, sort of stand there wearing these shoes as soon as I get off stage and like take these things off, put them back in the bag and wear like flat sneakers whatever around the backstage and out to the cocktail hour or whatever. Because I again, I just I'm horribly immature about this. I cannot be uncomfortable. I won't do it.

Up and for seel it's not worth it. Yeah, well I can't even you, I can't even walk and stuff like why would you wear it? Like I just don't understand it. I don't I don't get it. And with this years ago, bought a pair of Jimmy Chew stilettos for speaking related purposes, right, like if you're on a big conference stage and you're walking around and people can see your feet. I was like, yeah, I should probably wear you know, not like really fuddy duddy black heels that like all the other ladies are wearing fabulous shoes and I'm wearing this, you know, stuff that looks like orthopedic shoes, and I'm you know, this was when I was like thirty two. But anyway, so I bought the stilettas, and what I would do is I would take a little bag with regular shoes, stick it behind the curtain, put the shoes on, just to walk out, sort of stand there wearing these shoes as soon as I get off stage and like take these things off, put them back in the bag and wear like flat sneakers whatever around the backstage and out to the cocktail hour or whatever. Because I again, I just I'm horribly immature about this. I cannot be uncomfortable. I won't do it.

Even to the cocktail hour. You're like, nope, the important part's over.

Even to the cocktail hour. You're like, nope, the important part's over.

Sorry, however you want to talk to me. It's because hopefully it's because you want to talk to me, and you don't care about my shoes.

Sorry, however you want to talk to me. It's because hopefully it's because you want to talk to me, and you don't care about my shoes.

No, I get it, and I wish there was more. Well. Actually, shout out to Lani and Lander from Real Lifestyle because they do a comfort shoe round up every year, and I have found some really good picks on there, because there are a few shoes that can give you some of the illusion of looking fancy or taller with the right elements to keep your feel comfortable. But then there is a certain type of shoe like the stiletta you mentioned, where like I just think physics wise, it's like not possible.

No, I get it, and I wish there was more. Well. Actually, shout out to Lani and Lander from Real Lifestyle because they do a comfort shoe round up every year, and I have found some really good picks on there, because there are a few shoes that can give you some of the illusion of looking fancy or taller with the right elements to keep your feel comfortable. But then there is a certain type of shoe like the stiletta you mentioned, where like I just think physics wise, it's like not possible.

Yeah, it doesn't really work well, but you know, I guess it looked nice for thirty minutes on stage. Have you had any sort of psychological differences of getting older, Like do you think you have a different perspective or you know anything like that.

Yeah, it doesn't really work well, but you know, I guess it looked nice for thirty minutes on stage. Have you had any sort of psychological differences of getting older, Like do you think you have a different perspective or you know anything like that.

I think yes, I guess. I think the more you've seen and the more you've gone through and the more things you've witnessed in life, the better you are going to be able to process what's coming at you and perhaps like you know, understand like what's really important and what's not. So there is some elements of that. I wouldn't say I've reached some zen pinnacle maybe when I'm fifty. I don't know. I think I appreciate life more like I feel like it goes fast, but I'm more like, oh, like like this is precious, Like you know, you don't know how long it lasts, and I mean I've always sort of thought about that, but it becomes more real the fewer years you actually have left. And I do there's I think it was some podcasts I mentioned, like passing the hot biton and just like not like I'm dressing for myself, like I don't care what others think as much, And I do think there's there's definitely a lot of peace and confidence to be found in that.

I think yes, I guess. I think the more you've seen and the more you've gone through and the more things you've witnessed in life, the better you are going to be able to process what's coming at you and perhaps like you know, understand like what's really important and what's not. So there is some elements of that. I wouldn't say I've reached some zen pinnacle maybe when I'm fifty. I don't know. I think I appreciate life more like I feel like it goes fast, but I'm more like, oh, like like this is precious, Like you know, you don't know how long it lasts, and I mean I've always sort of thought about that, but it becomes more real the fewer years you actually have left. And I do there's I think it was some podcasts I mentioned, like passing the hot biton and just like not like I'm dressing for myself, like I don't care what others think as much, And I do think there's there's definitely a lot of peace and confidence to be found in that.

Yeah, No, definitely some of the perspective on that, or just that you know, problems can be solved, you can you know, do things and try things, and you know you don't have to worry as much about, you know, whether is this the right thing? Is this what everyone else is doing? Perhaps one thing I could say, I really like having older kids. I don't know if I mean obviously love babies. I had a ton of them, and they're really cute and all that, but of the stages of kid like I really like being a mom of teenagers, and I enjoy talking with them. I enjoy watching their lives and like what they're finding about what they like to do, and seeing how they build their relationships with their friends, and really enjoy spending time with them doing big kids stuff. And so I don't know, I just feel like that's a benefit of getting older in the sense that I'm not planning to have any more babies, so I'm out of the little kid years and I still have little kids, but I also have these older kids, and I definitely am a big fan of the older kid age. So happy to be in that stage of life at this point.

Yeah, No, definitely some of the perspective on that, or just that you know, problems can be solved, you can you know, do things and try things, and you know you don't have to worry as much about, you know, whether is this the right thing? Is this what everyone else is doing? Perhaps one thing I could say, I really like having older kids. I don't know if I mean obviously love babies. I had a ton of them, and they're really cute and all that, but of the stages of kid like I really like being a mom of teenagers, and I enjoy talking with them. I enjoy watching their lives and like what they're finding about what they like to do, and seeing how they build their relationships with their friends, and really enjoy spending time with them doing big kids stuff. And so I don't know, I just feel like that's a benefit of getting older in the sense that I'm not planning to have any more babies, so I'm out of the little kid years and I still have little kids, but I also have these older kids, and I definitely am a big fan of the older kid age. So happy to be in that stage of life at this point.

Yeah, me too, I mean my experiencing self especially, it's just generally, if I had to, just like if someone were to interrupt me during a random weekend at two pm and be like, how do you feel right now? I guarantee the number is higher now than it was ten years ago when I had, you know, like a one year old. Yeah, maybe maybe eight years ago is even better. A one year old and a three year old, Like, yeah, it's really fun to have bigger kids. You can you can do more on your own and you can do more with them, and they're like more and more exciting and interesting to be with.

Yeah, me too, I mean my experiencing self especially, it's just generally, if I had to, just like if someone were to interrupt me during a random weekend at two pm and be like, how do you feel right now? I guarantee the number is higher now than it was ten years ago when I had, you know, like a one year old. Yeah, maybe maybe eight years ago is even better. A one year old and a three year old, Like, yeah, it's really fun to have bigger kids. You can you can do more on your own and you can do more with them, and they're like more and more exciting and interesting to be with.

So I really like it too, and you know, fortunate, I think neither of us have are dealing with many you know, parent issues of like you know that as much right now. I know some of our listeners are deep in the sandwich generation thing. Where as you are raising your adolescence, you also have aging parents that you are helping coordinate life for. So again, we're happy to hear from people about that and would love to feature some of those stories as well, So feel free to reach out to us. We're always looking to talk more about that topic because we know we have a lot of listeners that are going through that, and.

So I really like it too, and you know, fortunate, I think neither of us have are dealing with many you know, parent issues of like you know that as much right now. I know some of our listeners are deep in the sandwich generation thing. Where as you are raising your adolescence, you also have aging parents that you are helping coordinate life for. So again, we're happy to hear from people about that and would love to feature some of those stories as well, So feel free to reach out to us. We're always looking to talk more about that topic because we know we have a lot of listeners that are going through that, and.

I do think about it, especially like as my parents, you know, they're still pretty healthy, but I know at some point there's going to be like medical stuff, and I don't like the idea of me not being there to help them navigate it, just having known that, like the healthcare system can be incredibly difficult, especially when you're kind of coming in from the outside. My sister has actually moved near my parents. She gave me permission to share that on the podcast, so that's actually pretty exciting to know that she's there that could help them out in a panchuirt and that they can help her as well. So I feel really lucky that kind of have that little triangle going on.

I do think about it, especially like as my parents, you know, they're still pretty healthy, but I know at some point there's going to be like medical stuff, and I don't like the idea of me not being there to help them navigate it, just having known that, like the healthcare system can be incredibly difficult, especially when you're kind of coming in from the outside. My sister has actually moved near my parents. She gave me permission to share that on the podcast, so that's actually pretty exciting to know that she's there that could help them out in a panchuirt and that they can help her as well. So I feel really lucky that kind of have that little triangle going on.

Yeah, my parents actually of ten minutes from my older brother and sister in law, so that's that's good for that. So yeah, well, well I'd love to hear people's thoughts about aging as well, so feel free to send this in. You know, this has kind of been the all Botox episode. Perhaps your takeaways botox and we don't like uncomfortable shoes, so I guess that's what we'll remember from this episode. So the question this week comes from a listener who is thinking about business trips. She has things worked out for childcare. Whether that's her partner doesn't travel as much for work, or has another setup, whatever, it's not a problem for her. So she's got that. But her question is more, is it okay to say no to a business trip or will that be seen as a lack of commitment to your job. She feels like she goes on a lot of trips now that seem to be, as she puts it, for age fifty plus men who believe in being seen, And she says, I go along with that. Culture as a younger woman, because I don't want appear uncommitted or that she's the mom in quotes, my boss seems to think it's a benefit for me to get to these things, and sometimes it is, but recently I'm feeling like I'm making almost pointless trips with all the negative sides of it, as she doesn't particularly enjoy the travel in this form. It's you know, there's a difference between going and relaxing in a resort in Hawaii for a week versus like going to I don't know, Detroit for business for three nights, not that Detroit doesn't wonderful, but or even.

Yeah, my parents actually of ten minutes from my older brother and sister in law, so that's that's good for that. So yeah, well, well I'd love to hear people's thoughts about aging as well, so feel free to send this in. You know, this has kind of been the all Botox episode. Perhaps your takeaways botox and we don't like uncomfortable shoes, so I guess that's what we'll remember from this episode. So the question this week comes from a listener who is thinking about business trips. She has things worked out for childcare. Whether that's her partner doesn't travel as much for work, or has another setup, whatever, it's not a problem for her. So she's got that. But her question is more, is it okay to say no to a business trip or will that be seen as a lack of commitment to your job. She feels like she goes on a lot of trips now that seem to be, as she puts it, for age fifty plus men who believe in being seen, And she says, I go along with that. Culture as a younger woman, because I don't want appear uncommitted or that she's the mom in quotes, my boss seems to think it's a benefit for me to get to these things, and sometimes it is, but recently I'm feeling like I'm making almost pointless trips with all the negative sides of it, as she doesn't particularly enjoy the travel in this form. It's you know, there's a difference between going and relaxing in a resort in Hawaii for a week versus like going to I don't know, Detroit for business for three nights, not that Detroit doesn't wonderful, but or even.

Going to Hawaii but then being in a boardroom the whole time. Yeah, be in a boardroom all day, that's true, and you never even make it to the beach. So she's wondering, can't she get out of it?

Going to Hawaii but then being in a boardroom the whole time. Yeah, be in a boardroom all day, that's true, and you never even make it to the beach. So she's wondering, can't she get out of it?

Sarah, what do you think?

Sarah, what do you think?

Yeah? I think this is one where like a little strategy might make sense, Like it doesn't have to be all or nothing. So is there a way you could be like prior to the start of the year, be like, oh, I want to get more proactive about like really planning the shape of the year and like making sure I save the travel for what's really really meaningful and maybe having a conversation about I think X number of trips be the right balance for me to be able to really stay productive in the office. And if you were to suggest four of the most important trips for me to take this year, what would they be, and then like getting you know, whatever, a number that feels more acceptable, because I do think like if all of a sudden you went from going to everything to going to nothing, that there may be people may find that somewhat problematic, But instead couching it as like I want to prioritize, I want to strategize. I want to be the most valuable for the company by being able to like really excel at work when I'm there and then devote energy to the trips when it really matters. And then seeing if you can get some suggestions even if you already know getting the input would probably look good.

Yeah? I think this is one where like a little strategy might make sense, Like it doesn't have to be all or nothing. So is there a way you could be like prior to the start of the year, be like, oh, I want to get more proactive about like really planning the shape of the year and like making sure I save the travel for what's really really meaningful and maybe having a conversation about I think X number of trips be the right balance for me to be able to really stay productive in the office. And if you were to suggest four of the most important trips for me to take this year, what would they be, and then like getting you know, whatever, a number that feels more acceptable, because I do think like if all of a sudden you went from going to everything to going to nothing, that there may be people may find that somewhat problematic, But instead couching it as like I want to prioritize, I want to strategize. I want to be the most valuable for the company by being able to like really excel at work when I'm there and then devote energy to the trips when it really matters. And then seeing if you can get some suggestions even if you already know getting the input would probably look good.

Yeah, I mean, I think this is one of those situations where like, I mean, even if it is just that you don't want to go, I mean, people are often way more willing to be like, oh, yeah, she didn't go because she had this big thing she was doing locally, right, So I don't know if you have a client based business, it sounds like you might. If you know people are going to visit clients various places, that's why you're being seen, you have the ability to build up your client base, I am sure. And maybe there are people who are local right like that. Maybe there are some companies that you could identify to work with that are within two hours of you, and thus you don't have to be gone for three days to go visit them. You could go have dinner with your client who is an hour away, and you'd be home sleeping in your own bed. And especially if those are perceived as very profitable and important clients, nobody is going to complain when you are spending your time building up relationships with them versus again, the you know, getting on a plane for a client that is three hours by flight away from you. I mean, it's just easier to build a relationship with someone close because you can see them more often. So I think really being strategic there about your client base, and also when you have just on a day to day basis something that's really important that's other than this, I think you could be like Gosh, I wish I could go to Detroit with you, but I've been asked to go to this board meeting here. And you go to the board meeting and that's one day, and then you don't have to do the three day trip to Detroit or whatever it is. I'm sorry I keep talking about Detroit. Let's say Dallas or you know, Los Angeles or whatever. But because you have this one day trip that's huge for something important, you don't have to do the three day trip somewhere else. You just might want to be strategic about that during the ones that you perceive as least valuable.

Yeah, I mean, I think this is one of those situations where like, I mean, even if it is just that you don't want to go, I mean, people are often way more willing to be like, oh, yeah, she didn't go because she had this big thing she was doing locally, right, So I don't know if you have a client based business, it sounds like you might. If you know people are going to visit clients various places, that's why you're being seen, you have the ability to build up your client base, I am sure. And maybe there are people who are local right like that. Maybe there are some companies that you could identify to work with that are within two hours of you, and thus you don't have to be gone for three days to go visit them. You could go have dinner with your client who is an hour away, and you'd be home sleeping in your own bed. And especially if those are perceived as very profitable and important clients, nobody is going to complain when you are spending your time building up relationships with them versus again, the you know, getting on a plane for a client that is three hours by flight away from you. I mean, it's just easier to build a relationship with someone close because you can see them more often. So I think really being strategic there about your client base, and also when you have just on a day to day basis something that's really important that's other than this, I think you could be like Gosh, I wish I could go to Detroit with you, but I've been asked to go to this board meeting here. And you go to the board meeting and that's one day, and then you don't have to do the three day trip to Detroit or whatever it is. I'm sorry I keep talking about Detroit. Let's say Dallas or you know, Los Angeles or whatever. But because you have this one day trip that's huge for something important, you don't have to do the three day trip somewhere else. You just might want to be strategic about that during the ones that you perceive as least valuable.

Yes, strategic FRAMEI it as how can I serve this organization?

Yes, strategic FRAMEI it as how can I serve this organization?

Fust All right, well, love of the week, Sarah, What are you loving this week?

Fust All right, well, love of the week, Sarah, What are you loving this week?

I decided to try to think of something on the aging type topic, and I came up with Clinique almost lipstick and black Honey because I bought it for the prom when I was like sixteen or seventeen years old, and I wore then and I loved it and I still really like it now. Obviously I have, you know, bought some new tubes over the years, not using a thirty year old and however, too bulbup stick, but it's good. And I'm like, well, I wear this in my seventies, wouldn't that be cool?

I decided to try to think of something on the aging type topic, and I came up with Clinique almost lipstick and black Honey because I bought it for the prom when I was like sixteen or seventeen years old, and I wore then and I loved it and I still really like it now. Obviously I have, you know, bought some new tubes over the years, not using a thirty year old and however, too bulbup stick, but it's good. And I'm like, well, I wear this in my seventies, wouldn't that be cool?

Maybe? Why not? Well, I might still be wearing my bootcut jeans in my seventies. I don't know, I wore them in I realized, like everyone was into skinny jeans for a long time. I never got into skinschit. I don't like the way they look on me. They look perfectly fine on other people who are even like the same size as me. They just do not look good on me. So I've been wearing boot cuts still am Maybe they're back now, Sarah, you can tell me. Are they back now?

Maybe? Why not? Well, I might still be wearing my bootcut jeans in my seventies. I don't know, I wore them in I realized, like everyone was into skinny jeans for a long time. I never got into skinschit. I don't like the way they look on me. They look perfectly fine on other people who are even like the same size as me. They just do not look good on me. So I've been wearing boot cuts still am Maybe they're back now, Sarah, you can tell me. Are they back now?

I mean, I feel like skinny jeans look really dated for the most part now, and people are wearing like wid leg and fulair and like straight leg and like vintage cuts, and like, yeah, I think you're ahead of the curve.

I mean, I feel like skinny jeans look really dated for the most part now, and people are wearing like wid leg and fulair and like straight leg and like vintage cuts, and like, yeah, I think you're ahead of the curve.

Well, because I was behind the curve for a long time. I never left the curve. I'm still on the same darn curve. That's kind of how it goes. And you've become comfortable with that as you reach your mid forties. Well, we will be back next week with more. This has been all about aging. We will be back next week with more and making work and life fit together.

Well, because I was behind the curve for a long time. I never left the curve. I'm still on the same darn curve. That's kind of how it goes. And you've become comfortable with that as you reach your mid forties. Well, we will be back next week with more. This has been all about aging. We will be back next week with more and making work and life fit together.

Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you.

Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you.

Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on making work and life work together.

Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on making work and life work together.