Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt BraunohlerKurt and Scotty talk about how big our wings would be if humans could fly, TSA found a surprising amount of prohibited items in a woman’s bag, Florida man dressed in Dalmatian onesie outruns the police, power outage caused by mayor because he crashed into pole while reaching for a sausage biscuit, a golden toilet is stolen again, a flood museum closed because of flooding and a Chinese influencer gets surgery to look like an android!
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Scott are you ready, gritty bee, I'm ready to love and love. I'm silencing my phone into love.
If humans could fly, how big would our wigs be? We only do the important articles.
I agree, and I've I've never once thought of it.
I have never thought of that.
And it seems like such an obvious mental little experiment. Well, join us on the wings of a little love story that we call Bananas.
World. Would your mind cillient pieces? Would you? Guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to bananas I am Kurt Brown Aler, I.
Have Bana Boy number two, Scotty Alandais. Thank you for listening to the silliest little podcast there ever was. We're the feel good guys. We keep it easy breezy, but every once in a while we have to get something off our chest. And that might be that we have a show on May eighth in Chicago.
We may have a show on May eighth in Chicago. It may be a banana show instead of Kurt stand up show. We are coming to you live. I'm looking at Scottie. I'm I'm sitting across a marble desk from Scottie.
That's true.
At the exactly right.
Stu sounds good.
It sounds very good. Does everybody love it? Does everybody love the sound so far?
Yeah? Blow up the comments If you love the sound so far. You can find us on The Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com, or you can comment on our awesome instagram The Bananas Podcast on Instagram.
What's going on? What did you do today? What did you do yesterday?
I joined? The big update is I joined a co ed all skills baseball sandlot league called the La Trap.
So many qualifiers for that description.
We got guys, gals, we got non binary pals, okay, all ages.
Well, it has to be in sand so sandlot.
Is like a type of baseball. It's like local, crappy baseball.
Do you play with a stick and just a stitch together group of rubber bands?
It felt that way. It was no, it was actually excellent. My friend Nick Williams, who's a great writer he started a couple of years ago, had invited me. I'm a Maryland guy. I grew up playing lacrosse because I'm a white guy from Maryland. And when you're born, they hand you a stick and they go go out there, out there, from cradle to cradle and break some teeth that's right and so but this year I wanted to do it. It was on Sunday. We had our first game. It was the Rush Hour versus the road Ragers. Okay, my team lost in the last inning, but boy, it was so fun.
Was it awesome?
It was great.
Do people drink during the game.
Yes, I played. I got you kind of shuffle around a couple managers. So I played center field. When I had centerfield. After going through a few innings and seeing the competition, I knew not too many balls were coming out to centerfield, so I took a beer with me in center field. So exciting. Yeah, and it was great and it was it was just so fun. My I don't know what my obliques are sore from swinging a baseball bat just right under your breast, yeah, just under my breasts are soreer than the normal tender to the touch. And it was so great. We played six innings because we had an allotted time before we had to give up the rest. But yeah, I'm gonna play. It's a monthly league and apparently the best game of the year is the Halloween game where you come in costume.
Oh that sounds so much fun.
I'm in so yes, thank you to Nick and everybody at the La Traffic Sandlote Baseball League.
Oh wow, I love it. It was Olive's birthday this week and that's what I did.
How old is young Olive? Wow?
She is eight years old and it is my god, it's a delightful ad.
That's a good age for kids.
I think I spent five years, five to eight years complaining about children, Yes you did, and how difficult they are, and now we are in such a sweet spots.
Guy, that's nice.
It is a delight I mean, like, look, did Gus scream from five pm to eight thirty pm on Sunday? Yeah, because it's not his day and he was very upset. Yeah, of course we dealt with that. Is it a high pitch screaming? Yet it's a high pitch screaming? Does it hurt your ears?
It hurts your ears, of course.
But still it's just such a delightful time right now. Her thing, so our thing is like, we don't do big birthday parties for like ten, Yeah, ten will be the next big birthday party. So her last big birthday party was five. Yeah it's ten and then fifty yep, And so we just did like three buddies and went to a movie eleven am movie.
WHOA, that's a great birthday.
It was a really everybody was psyched about it. Easy an easy lift, and everybody had a great time. Then went to the Cheesecake Factory. Yeah fun, I mean, come on, that place was made for birthdays.
Menu was a little small for my taste, but I have extremely universal worldwide. I like to know what every food in the galaxy tastes like. And I won it within twenty minutes.
And I want it on a plate the size of an actual table.
Yes, when they put they started putting calorie counts on in New York and California, and that changed the game at cheesecake Factory because I would go in overorder and then you just see what those avocado egg roll appetizers are and you're like, these alone are sixteen hundred calories a.
Full day of calories.
I'll take two.
So we saw Disney's Snow White.
How was it? Uh? Oh? I can already tell I would.
Like to apologize to every single human being involved in that movie. Oh my gosh, it is maybe the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life.
I have at least in theaters.
Oh, definitely in theaters.
It was holy crap.
I mean, there can't be It can't be true that the only person who can write music that's bearable to listen to his lin Manuel Miranda. That can't be true.
He stretched a little thin these days.
That can't be true that he's the only one who could possibly write a song that sounds good in a Disney movie. But since since Incanto, we've got nothing but crap from Disney movies. Their songs are terrible. Yeah, this was the most unlike forgettable music. It was unbearable to watch the unsoarable for children's I was just like I was making like loud noises doing It's just like, oh there was at one point, so the you and you know, the dwarves are like this seven yard this weird AI animation. It looks like they took and this is from an old joke I did, but this is what it looks like. It looks like they took uh pringles, soaked them in a bowl of water overnight, and then use that goop to just mold roughly mold human face and then animate it with an artificially intelligent life form. It is so creepy, every single one of them. Looking at them, you feel a deep unsettling in your soul looking at them. They neither look real nor do they look fake. They occupy some strange space that makes you comfortable with yourself and sitting in the seat feels weird when you're looking at them. Dopey character is so upsettingly like their eyes are so moist. When I say that their eyes are moist.
They got wet eyes.
They have such wet eyes in every shot. Their eyes are the wettest eyes you've ever seen.
The a. I just think humans cry all the time. They're just so bummed about their height. They're like these dowarves will be a little They're on the verge of a nervous breakdown at all times because they are not as tall as snow white is.
How is Gal Gadott? Oh fine, Yes, she doesn't have much. Look everybody everybody does a like. The actors are doing good jobs.
I can sing that actress can really she can sing sing. Yeah.
Then that's why I say I apologize to everyone involved in it, oh man, because it's like everybody worked really hard on that, and I'm sure and I think the only people to blame are like the higher ups at Disney, of course, who just all beat this to death so that all life and creativity was sucked out of it. And you have like, it's it's gonna be such a flop, it's gonna be crazy.
Did the kids like it? Did all of his friends think it was fun? Like, kids don't really understand. Yeah, if it's visually fun, they might like it. Right.
You also have to realize, like, this is a generation that was raised on Coco melon. Have you ever seen Coco Melon?
Oh? I don't.
It looks like it was animated by like like if you left a cell phone from twenty seventeen alone it decided to start animating a children's show. Oh that's what it looks like. It looks so upsetting and gross. Okay, and kids like they they loved it. They loved looking at a big, old headed, weirdokai kids. So I think they're just used to bad stuff. Now.
The future is so bright, it is so so bright. Quality does not exist anymore. That's a rare movie review.
That is a rare movie review. I rarely review movies, but while I was watching it, I was like, I have to talk about how much I.
Disclike, I can't. I'm so glad you did. I wasn't going to go eat that one. That one is not. I don't really like any of the remakes. I saw Lion King and I saw Jungle Book, and I was like, I get it. It's the exact same movie I paid for again, only computer animated instead of hand drawn. Yeah, by Huming beings. I went when I was a young person that the three I can think of were for birthdays movie birthdays. Yes. Ski Patrol still a great movie, Still a great movie. Nobody talks about Ski Patrol. Very funny, weird movie.
Ski Patrol an out Cold two of the best ski movies ever.
Last Boy Scout, The Last Boy Scout Bruce Willis, I think Damon Wayams.
Is that a somebody's gonna blow up the Super Bowl?
Yeah, there's a guy that run The Open is a football game, and a man pulls out a gun while he's running with the football and he is shooting other players in the kneecaps and then kills himself in the end zone. So that is what you call a teaser. Folks, You are wondering what happens and I know, and then Ace Ventura the original Aceventur I went to for a birthday, and I remember laughing harder than I've ever laughed with my friends in my life. And when you look back at it now, it's the craziest, over the top movie, imaginable. But we just left quoting Aceventura.
Yeah, no, of course, awesome makes sense.
Three great, three six hours of my life. I don't want back. I'm glad, it's glad they happened. I'm not recouping anything.
Oh man, well that's it. I don't think I've I went to any movie you have to have for somebody else. I really don't think so. I don't know what's in a Jersey thing. No, we would go to arcades for best days, an Arcade Birthday, the.
Dream Machine and Cranberry Mall. You just get four tokens at a time. That's how cheap things were. Four You had a paper bracelet and you showed it. You got four tokens, which would be four plays. Yeah not anymore, maybe not anymore. Now it's you have to get a card.
It's each one. But even with the card, they're still like this costs thirteen credit, and it's like, why just make it? It's all a card. All of it's imaginary. Why does it have to cost them?
Choose your own pricing. Tell me about these humans with wings?
These Kora, I'm just banging through. We're having a yard sale episode. I got a lot of ones that are like pretty good, and I just want to get through them.
Also, thank you to Sabrina, who is helping us our first recording in studio. I can already tell she's doing a wonderful job.
I really thank you, Thank you, Sabrina. If humans could fly, how big would our wings be? This is in Live Science.
That's good. Yeah.
This by Elena Spivac.
I went to high school with some Spivaks.
I'm not even going to read this. I'm just going to tell you, Scotty, how what do you think how big door wings need to be if humans fly?
I would say pretty big because I often stare at birds and compare my own physique to that.
I do as well, and that's why it's weird that we haven't ever thought of it.
Yeah, so I would say I would say thirteen feet on each side, twenty six feet total.
Twenty feet. Okay, that's what a guy says.
Pretty good, That's what.
Some guy says it is just one person. I'll tell you who it is. It's Tie Hendrick, a professor of biology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. And he said, you know what, which I thought was surprisingly small, And I do think twenty feet is kind of small, a little small. I'd be embarrassed. And the question is is that if you if they were like wings like a bird, people imagine them coming out of your back, right, first thought, yea, so then you would have to have shoulders in your back. Yes, so that's strange to have shoulders in your back. And also you would have to have an enormous amount of upper body like muscles around your chest, so your chest would be like holding everything. Yeah, can you imagine, and so like some birds have most of their muscles in their chest. So anyway, what Tie says. What Tie says Tie Hendrick is he proposes, in this imaginary situation that it's bat like instead, so that they just drop from your arms. Yeah, well you're saying, okay, grosser, And that's what Tye says. Ty says, Oh, this is how it would be. But that also means both arm is ten feet.
With a droopy skin mess.
A big Scroto hanging down.
Yeah, look at Scrota. It's just Scotty going to Trader Joe's.
And also, have you seen the way of a batflies compared to a bird.
All over the place.
It's all over the place. Imagine a human being flapping, flappy, flapping with his skin, his little scrotum skin out. That's what Tye is looking for in his future. No, thank you, sir. I'd rather have a twenty six foot wingspan and have beautiful feathers.
Oh. Absolutely, there's no competition. You could pluck one out and sign big oversized checks with it. Hell at the banks, are you kidding me?
All you need to do is bring a little bit with.
Just a little enough for just your name, with those big beautiful wings. I've read a movie script once that has stuck with me to this day. I actually tried to get a director attached and like help produce it. It was called Chariot and it was a horse racing movie like Sea Biscuit, but the horse was a man. The neck to head was a man's torso, arms and head a centaur. Yeah so a centaur, Yeah, I guess so a centaur. And the idea was when the horse galloped and was running races. He would pump his arms so it looked like a guy running with four horse legs and only the jockey, and.
Well there was a jockey for him.
Yeah it was Yeah, it was like it was exactly like Sea Biscuit, only the horse was a guy that could talk, but only the jockey and the other horses couldn't understand it, but the jockey and the owner could or the trainer could, and it was so funny, like he was just a Chariot was the name of the horse. This is why Hollywood is making snow whites and not actual good movies like Chariot, the racehorse movie with a man's horse so pumping his arms as he passes horses in the street.
Love that someone wrote that, Oh my god, I want it to be made so bad.
There's so many great movies like that out there, and you know, we'll just never see him speaking of flying. Keith sent this in. I did Keith. I didn't see any other name, but thank you. You can always send your stories into the Bananas Podcast at gimiu or the Bananas Puckcast on Instagram. Also, if you're really bored, give us a five star rating. Wherever you get podcasts, it matters so much, Apple, Spotify, matter you name it will take it. TSA, Oh, speaking of flying, TSA finds surprising number of prohibited items in woman's bag, including eighty two fireworks and three knives. That's so many fireworks.
It is a lot of fireworks.
And NBC News has had two writers it's just that good, Lindsey Good and David k Lee, who when it comes to TSA news stories, these two are the best in the frickin' business. Really are Security at Los Angeles International Airport. We've been there. I have stopped a traveler from taking a surprising number of prohibited items on a Philadelphia bound flight, including dozens of fireworks and multiple weapons. The incident unfolded at ten pm on December fifteenth, when the Transportation Security Administration officers flagged a woman who had put her carry on bag through the X ray machine at Terminal four. The TSA officer was shocked to find the bag contained eighty two consumer grade fireworks, three knives, two replica firearms, and one canister of pepper spray. She was about to have the ride of her life.
What is going on? And she put it through.
The yeah wow, smart intelligent person, the TSA say and a statement Friday, the sheer number of prohibited items discovered in a single carry on bag is extremely concerning, said Jason Pantags, the TSA Federal security director at the airport. This traveler should have followed DSA's tried and true advice unpack your bag before you pack it to ensure you don't bring any prohibited items to security checkpoint. That's being very generous.
Yeah, no, that she just happened to be walking around with what was a bear spray, eighteen knives and eighty three It.
Might as well have been it was eighty two consumer grade fireworks, three knives, two replica firearms, so two fake guns, and one canister of pepper spray. She was going to try to crash that plank. Oh, Mike, that's what Either yeah, or she really hates holiday travel, thank you. Pantages urged travelers to be particularly mindful as weak blah blah blah. That's holiday traveler's clock. You get it. We're in the midst of a holiday travel season. Your checkpoints will be busy everywhere, he said. Let this incident serve as a reminder to all travelers to double check the contents of your bag before coming to the airport.
Did I ever tell you about the time I was, Oh boy, I was going through. Swear to God, Swear to I believe you already. People in front of me, Russian couple just trying to travel with a shovel, And.
Why wouldn't it six foot tall shovel? Where are you going to get one when you land? One of the hardest items to find anywhere in the world.
They put it on the thing and they had to travel through it. I was just imagining the TSA agent who's watching the little thing, and then all of a sudden just seeing the beginning of a shovel, and then the long part of the shovel and the end of the shovel come through, and then them taking it and going, you can't. And they were livid. They were livid that they could not bring their shovel. It was post nine to eleven. They could not bring their shovel on the plane.
Shovel is a great weapon, So are you kidding me? You could take out anybody with thish sho anybody. There's not an animal in history. You couldn't just throw that shovel like a spear, take its head right off. You've never seen a sperm whale anywhere near a shovel, and that is not a coincidence. That's I do feel like the TSA has existed now for twenty four years. And if you go through the TSA line, and I think if the metal detector beeps and you don't have metal in your body, you don't have any replacement, you don't have screws in your ankle, that you should have to miss that flight. I think you should be sent home for twenty four hours at this point. Twenty four years a prep if you're from another country, I understand. If you're an American and you still set off the metal detector after twenty four years, you missed the flight for twenty four hours. The number of times I've seen you and I travel a lot, especially when we're doing like banana shows. The number of times I've seen somebody be like, send a bottle, a plastic bottle of water through that thing and get called out for it, Kurt. Never once in my life have I held a plastic bottle so this should belong inside luggage and then zipped it up and saved it. No, you have your metal container. If they go, hey, you can't bring that on you dump it out. It's the It's in the dozens of times I've seen people have to empty plastic water bottles out of their carry on bag. Bam.
My favorite person is the person who goes through at beeps that come out and they're like, they're just looking around bewildered, and they just have like a gigantic watch off and like it and they're like, yeah, to take your watch off and they're like.
All right, I didn't have to do it, all right.
You know, and then they take it off. Then they go through and it beeps again and they're like what could have been? And then it's like do you have a belt on? It's like, oh, it take off a gigantic metal belt. So they just keep doing it.
Twenty four hour band, or they have to mop the cafeteria. Okay, that would be fine. Yeah, hey, you're an idiot mop the cafeteria. It's really odd how often that happens. And yet don't carry water bottles in your suitcases. Just drink the water, or don't pack it. You just don't need to pack a plastic water bottle, I'm sorry, But also pack a shovel. It's very funny, you know. I briefly worked at a greenhouse, and on my first day of work, I had to go set up some of those big tents, like out in a sports field. And so my boss was my uncle, and he had a friend there and we get the tent set up and then we had to drive big steaks into the ground of tyropes to to secure it so win blow away. And so my uncle and his friend are watching me first day of work. They hand me a sledgehammer and I swing it at the stake and I hit the wood and snap the sledgehammer's head off. I hit just I missed it. I hit the and it was a big metal steak head that my uncle's like, oh oh, all right, and then went and got a second one and I swung it and hit the wood and cracked a person break yeah, first swing, and then after that he was like, I'll just do it. But on my first day of work, at seven am, pitching the tent, I broke. I really broke two sledg chambers, but one inoperable had snapped off, and the other one embarrassingly bad in front of one of his peers. So I would say that was my that was my dwarf moment on snow white. Ah, yeah, yeah, I would have been. I would have been dopey that day, and I admit it.
You would have just been wet eyed dope.
Yeah, just crying in the rain, all right.
Florida man dressed in Dalmatian onesie, yes, runs troopers canines and shakes off tasers before he's caught a girlfriend's home the next day. Okay, there it is, Okay, I like it. This was the New York Post.
Oh, don't go.
Look, we don't love the New York Post.
We don't.
Some times we have to read from him by Caitlin McCormick. Thank you, Caitlyn McCormick.
It's not her fault. Caitlyn. Get out of there as soon as you can.
He was easy to spot.
M good.
I mean, this is why we do this is why we do it.
So why I wake up in the morning.
A Florida man bizarrely dressed in a Dalmatian onesie bolted during a traffic stop after being handcuffed on one wrist, and he remained on the lamb for an entire day for finally being caught at his girlfriend's home. Florida Highway patrol were in hot pursuit of thirty six year old Keith Devereaux for nearly a day full adult if they attempted to pull him for reckless driving just after midnight January twenty seventh. Devereux had allegedly been driving erradically, stopping and pulling away at high speeds while dropping off a passenger. So this is so the cops start chasing him. He drops off a passenger, and they don't mess with the passenger. That guy just goes somewhere chane uber. He ran, and then he rammed his car into a tree. He got out of the wreckage and then and tried to keep running. He got tasered then they Despite being shocked, Devro picked a fight with the trooper and began to push and thrash against him. That's crazy, once again attempting to take off somehow, he successfully fled. By this point, his truck was wrecked, he'd been tased by the troopers, and he was still one wrist handcuffed, and yet he went straight to his girlfriend's home, one place authorities were almost guaranteed to check first.
Yeah, that was his one mistake, right, Uh?
They got to his girlfriend's home that night. His girlfriend's home at the time, and told troopers that she didn't want anyone to go inside, including Devreux, because they had drugs inside. Oh, she didn't want to face jail time.
Yeah, it's been good to be upfront about that. You're right, it does seem like a.
Weird Florida person's idea of that coming here. I can't let you in. I got drugs in here, drugs galore. There's so many drugs. I wouldn't let you wore anybody in.
That's just smart chance giving them up.
Yeah, they give And I don't think she got arrested.
She was honest.
Oh no, no, there it is okay. Possession of methamphetamine, of course.
Well that's gonna happen. I mean, that does explain his endless enthusiasm for escape.
It doesn't explain the Dalmatian onesie. But I like the idea that he just wears that that's just the way he goes. Look at him. It's a nice Dalmatian onesie.
Oh hereah and he yeah, he looks like a formidable opponent. With or without the onesie. I would not want to have to wrestle that guy. To the ground. He looks pretty tough. That jaw. You can crack a pumpkin over that jaw.
Yeah, it is a pumpkin cracking jaw.
That guy would have twenty four inch wings, no doubt about it. I bet he wished he did have those at some point, but.
He was twenty four inch wigs. Wigs, just a little two footter, little cupid wigs.
But just get off me. Florida is so interesting. You and I really like Saint Augustine. We do. We like the keys. The keys are fun.
I have never been and I want to got.
Yeah, we gotta do a banana show on the keys. That has to happen. I mean, I've had really nice times all around and then you hear these things and you go, oh, it's isolated, but it's really not. You go to a gas station in Jacksonville, Florida. Just stand there. If you have to fill up your full gas tank. You're gonna see a guy in a Dalmatian suit run by screaming. Somebody's going to try to sell you an iPad that's just duct tape plywood with permanent marker drawn on screen. It is.
It is a wild place, and my theory is that it's just so hot that people just go crazy.
Yeah, they must.
It's so we were there.
I don't know.
I was there for something and it was just Miami. Was the heat in Miami. I was just like it boggled my mind. I just couldn't function. I would walk outside and not be able to think.
Yeah, I get it, I get it. I also think maybe the effects of constantly being bitten by sharks and also mercury poisoning from constantly eating groupers. And which is it's just a magic cocktail that we call Florida that honestly, it could use a reset. It could use a reset, but uh, here's one for you.
Give it to me.
Hmm, what's a fun one? Oh? This is Yeah, let's keep going on with that that sort of general theme. Chabron James sent this in Thank you, Chabron James. Great name. It is good. Power outage caused by a Tennessee mayor who crashed while reaching for a sausage biscuit. Oh all right, the mayor told SBN he leaned over to pick up a sausage biscuit. Before he knew it, the poll was right in front of him. This was written by Caleb Wethington.
I like that he has to lean all the way over, Like I'm imagining his faces at the seat level. He was picking it up with his mouth.
Yeah. And I imagine him getting in the car early that morning, donut mouth, two cups of coffee, tossing the sausage biscuit into the footwell of the passenger seat, and then peeling out in his front yard in his Pontiac Firebird, Springfield, Tennessee. This was on ws and the dot com. The downtown area of Springfield experience a power outage took out the alts out power outage on Wednesday due to a crash on Seventh Avenue, according to w SMV four news partner Smokey Barn News.
Smokey Barn that's what it says, that's what SMB stands for.
Smokey Barn News reported the crash damage utility pole which caused the outage. Live wires were also exposed and fell over the awning of a nearby funeral home. Oh man, man, this is good. This is almost If it had hit an open casket and that body came back to life and walked out of there, then.
That's the only way it gets about anyway. The story is right up your outage.
Oh, I love when that happens. It was extinguished shortly after boo. The downtown area of Springfield is currently experiencing a power outage. Former Springfield Springfield Mayor Billy Cornell was that the driver.
Every character in this story is.
Spring Mayor Billy Paul Cornell was the driver of the crash vehicle. Cornell told SPN that he leaned over to pick up his sausage biscuit, and before he knew it, the poll was right in front of him. The former mayor was not injured, thank goodness, and crash still hungry. I would guess Springfield Electric was able to restore service to some customers. All the portions of.
Some are living in darkness for the rest of the year.
All the portions of downtown are still without power as repairs continued to be made. He risked it all for a sausage biscuit. I love it.
It must have been in the wheelwell right, yeah.
Got and he tossed it. He's probably yelling with his ex wife.
It was, yeah, and he tossed it and it bounced. It bounced out of the seat right back, dam right all right, I'll do it. Uh, you know, Scotty. I sent this to Scotti. I sent this story to Scotty and I said, did this happened again? It felt like I was having you. Definitely did want Well, there might be multiples. I was searching and I did find it. It's just I think it only happened once. But does anybody remember that story we did about the golden toilet being stolen out of a out of a castle in England. Well, guess what, folks, golden toilet was stolen from English palace again.
Yes, go back and get it. And this too.
This golden toilet is called America. It's an art piece.
No remember that?
Yeah, and you can you can use it. It's actually a functioning toilet that's made of solid gold, and it's a three minute time limit and it's like part of an art exhibition.
And then I would love to be in that toilet. I would love to.
Apparently, the gold itself is worth like almost four million dollars, and that's why it keeps getting stolen. You think this place would have more security, but it doesn't. These guys literally just took two cars and just rammed one through a door and then broke a it's in a normal bathroom.
Four million is a life changing amount of money. Yeah, so I can understand the impulse. Times are tough out there. People are dropping sausage, biscuits, nobody's grown wings.
Blenham Palace, I remember making fun of Blenham Palace. Yeah, this is I mean, like Blenham Palace needs to put this thing behind a glass door or something.
What it makes a palace a palace?
That's a great question.
What's the difference between a castle and a palace, and a palace and a mansion.
I stayed in a castle quote unquote in Ireland and it was awesome. It was so much fun. It was like summer camp and it was just a house. Yeah, it was just a big building.
It was just a hotel where the floor's stone.
No, okay, there was no thing about it that was castley other than outside there was like, you know, kind of like a thing. Ye yeah, okay, and that's it. But it was built. I think maybe it used to be, I don't. I mean, like I think it opened in the fifties.
So pretty new castle, pretty new castle. Yeah. Yeah. I was riding horses in near Limerick. I think I was in a place called Castle Fergus or Fergus, and there was a beautiful castle that looked like something out of Game of Thrones. Huh. And the farmer was walking the horse Bluey, my horse, and I was like, does anybody live there, and goes, oh, yeah, it's fully renovated inside. It's really nice. I was like, that's cool. It's like, yeah, some millionaire billionaire from Toronto lives there with his wife. And I was like, coolest guy moved to Ireland, took over an old castle, made it modern and now is just surrounded by horse farms.
And I'm like, all right, would you want to live in a castle, Scottie.
Yeah, I think I would like to live in a castle, but we don't really have them in the United States.
I don't know if I would want to live in a castle. Yeah, it seems to be drafty. Place, seems to be too large for many for many families.
I'll tell you what thing I do. You know, being raised middle class, I've always had an aversion to rooms and houses that don't get used, because when you would visit rich people or even upper middle class, they always had like a second living room that nobody used. They would always have a room down off of a finished basement that just like sometimes had some gym equipment in it or something. But that to me is very useless to heat and cool and light and all that stuff. But also it's just tacky to me to have rooms you don't use. So, you know what, I take it back, I wouldn't want to live in a castle because castles probably have empty rooms all over the place, all over the place.
And then it makes it to me when you have too many rooms, it makes the rooms you do use seem less important or less good. You know, it's like, we got tons of.
These, you know, we don't need it. Yeah, you don't need it at all. I do want to build a house one day that has a rotating plexiglass like parapit called a thunderstorm room that has a really comfortable like L shaped stuff in it, and the floor can rotate so that you could sit in it and watch thunderstorms roll in safely.
I love this idea.
I just sit up there with you. Guys, want to come over, we can make some drinks and sit on the sofa and watch a thunderstorm. Wouldn't that be great? Yeah?
It would be Also, why don't rich people just have a room that is just in their basement and it's four walls of pure video screen top to bottom that can show one like like you go to a thunderstorm and it's like you just go sit in like comfortable chairs in that room and a thunderstorm happens around you with like really good speakers and everything like that, or you like, and then you turn it and you're at the beach. You turn it, you're at floating in space anywhere you want, anywhere you want. You flip at your ep s, your deep sea.
My god, that would be the Redwoods just while you're sitting in the Redwoods.
And it just slowly moves around you.
I would love that.
Come on, rich people, we have so many good ideas for you.
Yeah, stop blowing it, stop buld you guys are idiots. Here's some thumbs ups for us, all right. Jasmine wants to give a giant thumb up for her dad, Philip. He was the sweetest, most supportive father she could have asked for. Jasmine lost her dad to multiple system atrophy on Father's Day twenty twenty four. That's not easy, but thankfully Jasmine's son was born late twenty twenty three and was able to meet his grandfather before his passing. And Jasmine, you have a great heart. That is a very wonderful takeaway from a very heavy experience that your son got to meet his granddad. That's very lovely. Thumbs up. Philip Posthumus thumbs up and thumbs up to you, Jasmine for having such a positive outlook on a bad situation. Ben Fisk is thumbing up Quinn and the Truesdale Trojan Elementary School cheerleading team who took home first place oh in their first competition at Maryland Madness. Oh yeah, Quinn, Here it comes.
Sunday, Sunday Sunday Maryland made.
We love Quinn. Quinn is a nine year old murder Banana. Oh okay, So I mean bananas is one thing my favorite murder. That's it's pretty adult content, but that's fine. Quinn listens to bananas to get ready for bed, and I think that's lovely. Congratulations to you, Quinn, Keep doing, keep cheerleading, Do whatever makes you happy in this life. Stephanie is thumbing herself way up for getting published. This is the first time she is being considered the first author on a scientific paper that she wrote and it got published in a scientific journal. Congratulations Stephanie, and finally, this is a good one. Photo fella with a pH photo Fella. Photo fella is asking for a thumbs up and some encouragement from the Banana Voice. He works in a very negative environment, gets tons of negative feedback, and have the thought that he cannot remember anyone ever telling him good job. Wow, some positive words would really bring joy to photo fella. Who gets joy listening to the Bananas Podcast. Photo Fella.
Photo fella, let me tell you you're doing a great job. Great job, really fantastic. I seeing what you've been working on impressed.
My friend. Everyone around the office is secretly so grateful that you come in. You put out fires left and right. We call you the fireman as soon as you clock out every night because you're putting out not just work fires, but emotional fires around the office. Photo fellow. We're all depending on you. You're always on time, you're always skilled, and we just have to say thank you.
Thumbs up, thumbs up for being not only.
The employee of the month, but the Banana of the.
Week, Banana the Week.
Photo Fella, Congratulations, you're doing an awesome, wonderful job. And we're lucky to know you. Everybody is, everybody who's ever met you is lucky to be alive to meet you. Let's get back into it. Johnston Flood Museum is closed because of flooding. Gretchen sent this in. Thank you, Gretchen. This was in the Huffington Post. Really what that it still exists? Well, it's called hoffpo now and nobody reads it. This is written by David Moye. Really good job, David Moye. Pennsylvania museum dedicated to remembering the effects of a nineteenth century flood. That sounds fun. Okay, that's a fun place to take that nineteenth kindergartener's elementary school, middle school, you name it. Fun museum. What town this was in? Johnston? Johnstown, Johnston, what state, Pennsylvania. Cambriaccount announced Monday. Oh, it was templar temporarily closed because of flooding. The Johnstown Flood Museum in Cambria County announced on Monday it is temporary clothes due to an interior water league caused by recent extreme cold. The leak caused water to pour through the museum walls, damaging carpets, drywall, and ceiling towels in the process. According to Johnstown NBC affiliate w Jack TV, I hope.
That they build a small maybe like three foot by three foot Johnstown flood flood Museum, Okay, flood museum flood.
That idea is so good. It is breathtaking. And now it's the one reason I would actually go to the Johnstown flood Museum because I love a small museum. I love yeah, but I'd like a smaller museum inside of a museum. And the Johnstown flood Museum flood museum. I think we got to get a letter writing campaign in animals. If you want to email the Johnstown Flood Museum and say I really like it. If you guys take the recent flood you had inside of your museum and made a small museum in honor of that flood, just give us the newspaper articles, just give us a couple of photos.
I think you have to get on your hands and knees to enter it, but all the information is there. If you want to learn about the flood at the flood museum, have a turn.
These lemons into lemonade. Nothing of historic significance was affected by the flooding, which is shocking because when you think of the Johnstown Flood or Johnston Flood Museum, you're just thinking of all the historically significant pieces in there were affected with flooding. In the museum's Facebook post credited museum docent Nicky Bosley for discovering the league before there could be serious damage. Good job, Nicky Boseley or Bosly.
I mean, and now we know who is whose statue stands in front of the Johnston Flood Museum flood Museum. It's Nicky Boseley, absolutely, and she's earned it.
She spotted a leek, which is not hard to do in a.
Empty museum.
The museum is dedicated to memorializing the great Johnstown Flood that we all won't shut up about, which occurred on May thirty first, eighteen eighty nine. You're the lord. The flood claimed the lives of twenty two one hundred people. My god, they really couldn't swim back. They were not ready, No, they were not good swimmers back then, and destroyed sixteen hundred homes. That's the sad part. But you know what, they've rebuilt, and I think we need to rebuild yet again. The Johnstown Flood Museum flood Museum. We need to do it.
Anybody who lives near Johnstown, Johnstown, Johnsontown too.
Yeah, yeah, let us know.
We would love to actually make that happen if you if you're we will be happy to How much How much money do does it require to make the Johnstown Flodmuseum floo musum?
Yeah, we're talking a small replica museum of the Johnstown Flood Museum. That's maybe you know, it's like a all birds wings across, maybe thirty six by thirty six, Max, I.
Bet you we could do it for a thousand bucks easier.
Yeah. I think we have friends that'll make this for us and just a little recreation and maybe it just drips a little water.
How hard could that be?
When I was a young banana, I was at a birthday party at the Babe Ruth Museum in Baltimore, which is fine. Yeah, Babe Ruth pretty cool guy.
Yeah, there's a statue of him at Camden Yards.
Probably he grew up in Baltimore, and you know, even people that don't like baseball known the name Babe Ruth. And it was a we would go to about one a year, like the movies, and but we go to this and there was a guy that was sort of a bully. I would say, I've only had two people actually try to bully me, like physically in my life. Yeah. One of them was at this birthday party boys and girls, probably eight, nine, ten years old.
Oh got to Yeah, I'm familiar with all those times. I'm familiar with those types of birds all age.
So we get in one of the dad's cars drying to the next stop. The next phase was splash down indoor water park.
Oh my god, that sounds fantastic.
Indoor water slides. If somebody dropped the visa and you got to take friends to the indoor splash down water park, you were having a great day. But the bully was just pissed at me. He was there staring me, staring at me the whole time. Then we get in the car and he pulls down the sun visor and there's little mirror and in the visory's staring at me in the backseat. We're like five across the backseat and this guy's just being a jerk. So while we're driving, we go to a red light and he rolls down the window and he had had like we all got blowpops and so he took the wrapper and threw it in the bed of the truck park next to us, just being tough, being a real nine year old rebel. Yea. And the guy got out of the truck and got the wrapper and pushed it back into his chest and go, you dropped something, kid, and got back in the car, and then he got the dad yelled at him. It wasn't even his dad was like, the girl's birthday, girls down driving and I just got to sit back and watch the threat. The guy that was threatening to probably drown me and splash down just get so humiliated and honestly bullied around. And then the dad was like, that's not right. You shouldn't throw and like he was like, don't tell my mom. And I'm just sitting in the backseat, just having the greatest birthday of my entire life. And it wasn't even mine.
Wow, I am like the guy driving the truck got out.
That guy's a bully, got out, took the trash, gives put it, I mean leaves.
Everything is falling in the back of your pickup truck. It is open to the world. You're gonna shove a wrapper into a nine year old chest? What a bully and.
You had to hear my MVP, my personal My Baby Ruth, the Babe Ruth of Traffic Stops is so great.
Why is the candy bar baby Ruth and not Babe?
I don't know, but I think it is connected. I think it's supposed to be a play on Babe Ruth.
Yeah, I mean, I guess so it's in the way that like Babe Ruth is a recognized sounds that we've heard before, and baby Ruth is words that just sound like it. But there's no other connection, right, It wasn't like a baseball snack or it's supposed to be like a bat or something like that that would be funny, like little bat. If it's a little bat. If it's a little baby Ruth, it's a little baby bat.
What is in a baby Ruth? Nugat?
Is that? I think nuts?
Maybe is nugat? Is nugat? The Uncanny Valley Dwarf of chocolate candy.
Bar looks like the dwarf's faces look like they're made of nugget. Boy, that's what it looks like if you stripped chocolate off of a nugget candy bar. That's what the dwarfs look.
Like I in the workhous writer's room, we had a and the writer's assistant and we said, do you like Snickers bars? And she goes, no, Snickers bars are very millennial. Gen Z doesn't like Snickers bars. And I was like, there's no way that's Snickers are so delicious. And then ice cream snickers.
Oh my gosh, is that that's such a funny thing to do.
That's like an old person. But what we're saying is like the greatest generation love those baby roofs. Yeah, they couldn't get up.
But also I think I've ever eaten yeah, payday or a baby roof, I don't think I've ever eaten one.
It was always astonishing, especially our New York and animals will instantly be able to picture this. Every city sidewalk in Manhattan, every corner, and most in Brooklyn, Queen's all of the Burroughs have bodegas everywhere, and every bodega has a wall of candy in front of the counter. Yeah, and they're selling it. They wouldn't have it if it wasn't making money.
Oh no, it's it's making money.
I mean, how many candy bars? I wish we had Mary roach On, I want to find out how many candy bars they sell every day in Manhattan, because you know, somebody buys a baby Ruth every day at the same videga every single day. That's like their little moment of joy.
When I met Kristin. When I met Kristen, that was her. She would eat really she ate like a like a feral animal when I met her. I mean like we I guess we were like in our early like mid twenties, you know, like I was my late twenties, twenties. But yeah, she would like she would have like like go to McDonald's like once a day.
It was one really close to her house, unfairly close. It was maybe four stoops away from her house. And also pretty good McDonald's. Pretty good McDonalds for is weird. What was your ultimate cheap food in New York City, like at your poorest but when you bought food out in the city.
Oh, just the dollar slice places.
Yeah there were a lot of them too.
Yeah, there was a lot of them.
And there and for a long time, Grace Papia did two dogs for a dollar and that was big. That was big.
That's what actually got me eating meat again because I stopped eating red meat when I was twelve because I read a book and it was like, good, global warming is happening, and if you want to solve it, don't eat red meat. And I was like, I'm gonna solve global warming one man at a time. So I only ate chicken for whatever the next six years. And then I got to Baltimore and realized, oh, I can buy two hot dogs for one dollar. Yes, I guess I'm gonna eat red meating.
Yes, that happens all the time. You know. I dated a woman speaking saving the world. Who's comfort viewing? Like, you know, I'm hungover, I'm bored. I want something on in the background. Why cook? Was the documentary Blackfish? What about killer Whales? What? And me can see what? That's so nice getting her comfort thing. I would say, she's watched Blackfish ninety to one hundred.
That's amazing.
It was not a deal breaker, but it was the Uh, it was terrifying.
It was terrifying.
It was a It's something I watched one time, and it was like, I agree across the board.
I don't ever need to watch it. Once you have the information.
I have the information.
What's your ultimate comfort? TV?
Man? I really don't have one. I got caught off guard on a pitch yesterday for a romantic comedy pitch. I was pitching to the actress they wanted to star, and I know she is going to pass. And at the end, when you know, sometimes they ask questions about character or whatever story she goes. I'm just curious, like looking down it not, It's just curious, what is your favorite movie? And you know it shifts depending on everything, but I answered, honestly, I go right now. My favorite movie is the Silence of the Lambs. And it is a great movie. It's incredible great and I've been kind of going back. It's my favorite scary movie for sure. But story wise and character wise, it's so good. Like Handbell Lecter's barely on screen, He's only on screen for like twelve fifteen minutes.
And he's everything, and it's.
Iconic and you think of it forever. And I was just thinking of those characters, and she only caught me off guard, and I know I should have been like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or something.
Yeah, more rom comedy.
Yeah, so I bet she passes. My comfort is oh man, I really like dumb action movies, so like Deep Blue Sea, the Shark movie. Hello cool Je, Tom's Jane. I've probably seen that twenty times. Oh wow, oh wow, I'll just put it on if it's on a streamer.
I get that.
I get that TV. No, I don't have any I love new TV. I don't like watching old TV. I like new TV.
I think my comfort, my ultimate comfort. I don't think it's on anymore, is how it's made. Oh, I mean, what a delight. Oh I would watch that.
I leave Forensic Files on too when I'm in a like when you and I tore bananas. I put that on when I'm showering and such, so, which is funny because Forensic Files was all you know, You're like, could you shoot any episode where anybody on the show looks like a modern human being? Everybody, every detective is wearing an oversized button down shirt that is a color of like burnt orange, with like a tie that matches. They all have horrible combovers goates, And I'm like, then, I was watching a thing about murder in Newport Beach and they showed like the da the detectives. They were all like beach volleyball player, good looking, they all had sharp Brooks brothers suits on and then dresses and the women were styled their makeuples one point. Then you turn on forensic files and it's like where did you drag these what swamp? What primordial swamp did you pull them out of? To find this murder in Wisconsin? And then you look at it, you're like, this must be from nineteen eighty three, and it's like two thousand and nine.
Oh, good times here, I'll send us home with this. Oh beautiful Chinese influencer spends one hundred and forty thousand dollars to become an android. Oh this woman looks like an android. Oh it's kind of way I was picturing a guy right away.
Oh yeah she does.
Isn't that crazy?
She kind of looks cool. I mean the money well spent, I mean yeah, it's it's mission accomplished, Mission person accomplished.
And she can like move like an android. Really well, we're all for that, Yeah, it's uh. And then there's a woman in Ja, I know it's also in China. Uh, who's a different woman who owns and runs a restaurant, and she like again, has had work done to make herself look like an android. And then moves like a robot and like serves people, but does it like poorly, like as if a robot's doing it poorly, like handing food and like only halfway making it to the table at the smacking it down. It's really really funny, and people come from all over to like have food from an android dream.
Get out there been animals. If you're in China, go to that weird robot restaurant, Go to the John Down Great Flood Museum in Cambria County, Pennsylvania, and keep being you. Get out there, have some fun. The weather's getting better, spring and summer coming. Let's all shake our tail feathers. Bananas Man Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard, and.
Our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstart
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern.
