Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt BraunohlerKurt and Scotty talk about a robber caught after sitting down to finish a book, start up alarmed when AI starts RickRolling clients, teacher fired after phone reveals how much Candy Crush was played during class!
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Pretty. Maybe I'll start it off today. What do you say about that? Pal? Tickled pink? This is a nice one sent in by just so many bananimals. Suspected burglar caught after sitting down to finish reading a book. Wow, we got a real bookworm here.
Well, get ready to crack open another classic edition of the Bananas Podcast.
Whoa your world? Would you mind? Billion pieces? Would you batten?
Guys, goals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas. I'm sitting across from the illustrious and amazing Wow screenwriter extraordinary Scottie Lands.
And I'm facing face to face with the resplendent magnificent, a man who can make even the most hardened, miserable soul laugh out loud and roll on the floor laughing, Kurt Brown Oler. Here we go, Hi, buddy. Things will never be the same. Things will never be the same.
This is the first episode that we're recording since Bananas Fest. It is Tuesday for us, Bananas Fest was Saturday.
Have you recovered my voice is scratchy, so I apologize to those listening on noise canceling headsets. Yes, my voice is still raspy, and it's from saying hello to around one thousand people, having around eight hundred small chats, and then going on with you and our amazing guests for three hours of live comedy at Comedy Works.
In which Lauren, my wife, was our first guest. Wonderful, What a wonderful guest. That was a rich, funny show. And then Georgia and Karen were our guests for the late show.
Pretty cool. First time they were together on stage for a live show since I think twenty nineteen, since so twenty nineteen.
And people, when I say it hurt, all of us wanted to cover our.
Ears like it was definitely it hurt our ears.
How much people immediately were in a standing ovation.
It was so crazy. Were crying, people were hugging, people were jumping up and down and screaming.
A guy who works at Comedy Works said, I just want you to know. It was louder than when Chappelle showed up.
Good. I bet it was. It was impossible to be louder than it was, to the point where I was nervous. Karen and Georgia were just going to turn around and walk back off stage because it became white noise. And then it lasted, It started to die down just a little bit and I just raised one hand like slightly, almost like I was telling a choir to the hit the chorus, and people got somehow louder. It was crazy crazy, and that it was a great show and they were so funny, and thank you for everybody who sent in confessions and what he rathers and everything, because it just was an incredible night of live comedy.
It was, and also it was the whole day, so we think about twenty five hundred people came to the street festival. Yeah, it was so neat and fascinating. Splitty was the biggest it's ever been. Oh, it was incredible, and it was through Denver in a really neat area where we went over two separate bridges and then like through multiple parks and it just.
It felt really really great. We're gonna be.
Posting some some drone footage that we got of it.
It really looks crazy as wild. It was insane.
And then we had six hundred and thirty eight. I mean that blows me away that we for our tampon toss to break the world's record. I anticipated three hundred and fifty. I said, maybe if we're lucky, we get five hundred people. Yeah, we had a lot of six hundred and thirty eight individuals toss one tampon in the air at the exact same time for I Support the Girls, and that was like so delightful.
That was the best. That was probably the most fun part of all the events of the day. And then I Support the Girls send us a very lovely email saying that they were actually running so low on women's supplies, yeah, that they were about to have to start turning away some women for who needed tampons and instead, because not only did we have six hundred and thirty eight people throw them, we had been animals bring boxes of one hundred tampons, so they got something like two thousand tampons. Yeah, yeah, it was crazy. It was a huge amount. So good for you Ban Animals, great job. It was just two of us you did the tossin.
Also, the production company that runs you know, street festivals was shocked at how friendly, nice and kind the ban animals were, Like, you're unbelievable. I am in awe of everyone who who came out. It made it made me like I'm now just kind of processing it, like seventy two hours later, but the fact that someone from Scotland, came out with her father.
What who has Steph Stark with.
Her father Jim Jim danced in the Charlie Fromage Dance competent. Charlie Fromage Dance competition went off, was went off without a hitch. It was so enjoyable to watch everyone dance like Charlie Fromage. It's so stupid and so funny. It was amazing the fact that we had We had people from Alaska, we had people from from from Iceland.
I mean, oh yeah.
It was the fact why so many people came in from so far away.
It was I'm blown away. It's shock and also it was shocking. It was incredible. I would say the greatest I have three small points to make. First, the best thing was the sheer number of people that came by themselves, that made friends, who've told us they made friends, who hung out with those people the entire day, and I'm hoping, I mean honestly, maybe two hundred people did that. Yeah, that they're friends for life. Even if Banana's one day fades, Bananfesto goes away, they now have lifelong friends because they took a chance to do something silly in a city. They don't live in and it worked two. I want to thank everybody who reached out who got sick beforehand and didn't come because they didn't want to get anybody else sick. We had a few people who missed the two live shows, so I'm sure have some huge regrets, but they had COVID, or they had the flu, or they had whatever, and they said, sorry, guys, I have this available ticket. I don't want to be to get sick. So thumbs up to you for caring about other people and not being selfish and putting the crowd before yourself. And then finally, the sheer number of volunteers, people that are ban animals that came there and set things up that helped us, that ran and got waters. That Brandy who did a wonderful job setting up the Bananamal buddy meet up the day before that. You and I went to it, had a great time. Yeah, all of the volunteers, and I will get the list from gum pop and I will thank you all in a later episode. But it meant so much that like people not only came to have a good time, they also came just to help out. And I feel like that is the spirit of the whole community.
So many people made things for this and that is what you know. When I first started doing comedy and doing events, there was this and I think it's a very male idea, but this idea of the auteur.
Do you know what I mean?
That, like, you simply cannot accept ideas from other people or things from other people. It has to be all you and you are somehow you make yourself less by taking someone's idea. And I am so happy that that Bananas is the exact opposite of that's right, because it is such a toxic artist mentality that it all has to be the fact that now just saying yes to everyone who offered that if you say yes to everyone who offers it, like, it creates this thing that is bigger than one person or one person's contribution, and then all of a sudden it becomes something monumental and epic.
It was great. I can't wait to do it again. We proved it could work because of everybody coming out. You made it so good and so big that it exceeded everybody's expectations. It actually broke sales records. It was crazy, and then it was so nice to top it off, with Lauren and Georgia and Ca and just just a great night with all our friends. So thank you to everybody that came, made the trip, spent the money, took the time, convinced their partners to show up with them. One person DM me and said, when Karen Georgian came on to stage, their boyfriend, who has no idea who Karen and Georgia are or my favorite murder was screaming as loud as he could because he felt like it was the right thing to do, which is so awesome. And also that's all you live your life. If everybody's celebrating, get in there and rip it up with him. But thank you everybody, and we Kurtibe and I tried so hard to say hey and check in and take photos and be with all of you and meet all of you, and you were all wonderfully polite. Nobody pushed a buttons or crossing lines. Everybody was perfect. So I think they'll probably be a Banana's Fest two and so can fade away. It's even to be too Banana Fest to too fest, too curious And hopefully it's a year from now so Kurt and I can catch up on sleeping and rehydrating because that outitude in Denver was such a butt Kickers Fly Smokes.
Also a big, huge thank you to Laurel Bristow for flying out from Atlanta and hosting a killer hour of friendship speed dating that was so cool and it was so excellent and fun to get to hang out with you.
Thank you. Yeah. Kake Cosgrove brought her art. She said she sold a ton of art and a lot of people adopted bananamal statues from her with little certificates to support Kate Cosgrove on Instagram and Lisa Quigley who did our drag king bingo which was a huge hit too and everybody loved. And so thank you to those three wonderful women for making bananas Fests even better.
And you know, this was the last thing I will say about it, but I do want to say thank you so much to Samantha Sant who is from gum Pop Number one, who I worked with a little bit over the pandemic and then she just said, Hey, I've got I got this new gig. We do street festivals you want to do and anisfest and I just didn't think. I was like, no way, no, like can this work.
Could it happen? One podcast? One podcast hosting an entire festival in a city they don't live it, and the fact that it was.
A successful blows my mind. Thank you to Scarlett Estelle. Thank you to Lisa Maggot Big Yeah, without the big. They were meeting with us for weeks leading up to this, doing so much work on it for free, and thank you, thank you, thank you.
Yeah, and you too, buddy. It was great. KURTI b was like, you know, we tell a lot of stories about big, fun things we've done over the years, and it's time to show what we're talking about. And we did it and so great idea. I'm glad we executed it. It just went perfect. I have no notes.
You know what I said to you to make it big, like because Matt Murphy had DMed me that's Chegwin, yes, And I said to him, I said, you know what, honestly, it felt like chang For the first time in a long time, it's felt like doing a stupid, free thing in the public that just is only there for itself to exist.
The locals for splitting the city alone. The splitting city was so long, I was I lead the way, playing you let the dogs out. Kurt brings up the black back playing who let the Dogs Out? And in between us two big banana bookends blasting the Baja Men were about three hundred and fifty bananimals, maybe more, honestly, because by the time we got to Laramer Square we had started absorbing people off the street. Bananimals were like, come join us. People were like, what is this? And Kurt and I had megaphones. Anybody wearing anything remotely yellow, I was yelling at them, you're already a banana, get in here. And then I had two guys walking dogs with me. I had people that were going, hey, become a part of this. This is Banana's vest. So we probably took on thirty tourists that were just like, we don't know what you guys are doing. And then they're like, it's for a podcast, like we've never heard of it, and they got on board and then followed us and joined us. So big shout out to all our new listeners since Bananas Fest who just joined in on the festivities and probably felt what we all felt. And my last thing is I do want to thank specifically Benjamin and Paula were the artists who made us my dream come true. A giant banana with the cast. Everybody signed and if you've seen the photos folks, if you're not on Instagram, they're storing it for me first of all, until I'm going to go fly out there or drive out there and bring it back in a couple of weeks. And are you going to put it in your house? Putting it in my office? I'm going to mount it on my wall at Marlin.
Yes.
And I picked it up and felt how light it was, like whatever paper mache type thing they made this.
Five phone home with them like a hard, hardened covering over it.
Well, I'm going to mount it above my desk. I have a big wall space here and it will forever be if you signed it, and I know honestly thousands of people signed it. You will be in my writer's office till the day I die because it's so awesome, It's so cool, so beautiful. Okay, give me this story, Scott, bananas Fest is behind us. For those of you who hate the concept of bananas Fest, worry no more. We are not going to talk about it anymore. We were nine months. We will talk about.
It on this Thursday's Bonus sode that's coming up, but then we won't talk about it for another couple of months.
You've survived it. It's probably our last event of twenty twenty four. Oh my sorry, Yeah, here we go. Joe jiroach Chromy or Jiro's Chromey sent this in Thank you Joe, Thank you Joe. This was written I found this on BBC dot com. Written by the single best in the beeswax, Zara Fatima, and I love the name. Oh excuse me. I think it's Zara Fatima, who is the best typer in British's history.
And people do say, yeah, of course, how else would you say british Ish?
Nobody knows or cares. Suspected burglar caught after sitting down to finish a book would be burglar in Rome was caught after stopping to read a book on Greek mythology in the middle of a theft. The Italian media reports thirty eight Yeah, this is so fun. And the photo there's a photo of him reading the book and you're like, this dude was just straight up sitting down and having a nice little read. The thirty eight year old reportedly gained access to a flat in the Italian capital's Pratti district via the balcony and became distracted after picking a book about Homer's Iliad on a bedside table. The seventy one year old homeowners said was said to have awoken and confronted the alleged thief, who was engrossed in the book.
He sat down on the bed that the guy was sleeping.
In to read the book. Yeah, he yes, he gave it through the balcony. He saw it on the night. Stayd He sits down. He's not sitting on the bed. He actually was to go to chair, but he's just seeing the reading on the balcony. News of the failed burglary attracted attention of the book's author, who told local media he wanted to send the man a copy so he could finish the read a smart smart of course you would. That's the best way for that author. Selling books is so hard. Yeah, just now you're getting free press. Good for you. After being caught off guard, the alleged thief reportedly attempted to make a quick getaway escape using the same balcony, but was arrested shortly afterwards. He is said to have told the police after he climbed down the building. Oh, that he had climbed up the building to visit a person he knew. I thought I'd ended up in a B and B and I saw the book and started to read it, he said. Giovanni Nucci, the author of The Gods at six o'clock, which explains the Iliad from the perspective of the gods, told hell Massage Gira el Message Gerillo Jero the messager. I'm guessing it's fantastic. I'd like to find the person red handed and give him a copy of the book because he'll have been arrested reading halfway through it, and I'd like him to be able to finish it. It's a surreal story, but also full of humanity, very positive. This is also the thing if you're a cat burglar and you don't have a weapon and you don't creep in the middle of the night and you get busted and you climb out the balcony and you don't take anything. Yeah, yeah, I don't know, nights in jail maybe two. Sounds like you're you're exploring.
Also the fact that he was like I thought I had ended up in an Arabian in a B it B, just like, well, what Is that what you were expecting through the balcony window.
Yes, And now as I say that, the thief was reportedly in possession of a bag containing expensive clothing allegedly stolen from another house earlier that evening, miss Nucci said his personal favorite deity is Hermes. There we go. See, this is why, this is why our number one Zara Fatima is best in the biz. Just we're not going to talk about anything else. Just who mister Nucci, the author's favorite personal deity is Hermes, the god of thieves. So there we go. He is also the god of literature. It is clear everything fits perfectly, he joked. I mean, come on, so good, oh man.
So I went went to the Glendale Public Library as we do, to get books for Olive and Gus very good, and it was slim pickens one day because they're kind of they're renovating the kids section, so they don't have all their books out. So I'm going through, and I'm going through, and I'm going through, and I'm just with Gus and some kind of keep an eye on Gus, and I'm looking for Olive and I see a Greek mythology book and I'm like, okay, great because Olive loves Greek mythology. To listen to this podcast Greeking Out, which if you have kids like six and older, Greeking Out is excellent, excellent podcast for them.
But and so I get this book.
I bring it home, and what I don't realize because I'm getting a lot of books. We get like forty books at a time, right, is it's the Uh it's called the Adventures the Adventures of Oedipus.
Okay, one event.
And so then I look on the front one and I was like, the adventure is plural, And I was like, oh, I just thought there was only one Oedipal tale, which is of him fucking his mom and killing his dad, right, And I was like, I guess there's more.
And I still haven't looked at it.
So Olive comes in first book, she goes to picks up Oedipus, flips it over and right there she reads the thing and it just says you will marry your mother and kill your father.
And she went yeah.
She just started laughing so hard and she was so into it. She and then I had like take it. I was like, we don't. I was like, oh, I thought there was going to be another adventure of Oedipus. Nope, this is his only ad sure, And so I had to like be like, no, we're not going to read this right now. And I had to hide it because she just kept walking around going, you will marry your mother and kill your father.
Oh, good news for Laren, bad news for you. That's pretty good.
She just thought it was the funniest idea in the entire world.
She could have got over it. That is, I mean, it is. It is a funny idea. And it is amazing that that story, of all stories we all know, edible comp I mean we all know edle. I think it's because of Freud. Yeah, yeah, we all know. Yeah, he was obsessed. I've also read people's like critiques of Freud and they're like, calmed down. It can't always just be that.
I know, it's so crazy. It's not all dicks.
Bruh. No. My, when when we're still living in Brooklyn, my buddy Ryan and his wife Rebecca hosted a shrimp boil like they're from Florida, and so they wanted to do sort of like a just a seafood like a type of crawfish boil thing in the city, and so it's great, and they did it. We're all drinking way too much and doing way too many shots, and it was a really fun, unexpected Brooklyn night. And the next morning it was a mess because it's a boil, so everybody's peeling and eating shrimp, and you know, you got to get all the seafood ingredients out of the house. So I was like, hey, I'll come back. I'll help you clean up in the morning. I was always famously never hung over until I don't know, in my late thirties, And so the next morning I came back up and Ryan's like, dude, you got to go talk to Rebecca. I'm like, okay. So after the party, at like two am, Ryan so drunk like all of us that he passes out on the sofa in the living room of their apartment, and Rebecca's cleaning up and doing a little tidying and washing her face and doing stuff, and she hears movement in their guest bedroom and assumes it's me. She assumes I passed out also and that i'd come to and that I was going to leave, and she opened she knocks and opens the door and watches a man opening bedroom window from the fire escape. And coming into their apartment she's never seen. Oh my god, that's so terrifying. Yes, and so she screams at him first like get out of here, or like who the fuck are you? Get out of here, and then runs into the living room from the guest room and is yelling at Ryan to wake up. Ryan is passed out drunk. No, he does not get up.
No.
So then this man that she's never seen before. Also, I should say they lived on the fourth floor of a brownstone. They had the top apartment and then the roof deck on top. Oh my god. So this guy came up three floors of fire escape and found that that bedroom window was unlocked for whatever reason, probably people smoking cigarettes joints out there during the party. And so she's screaming at her husband to wake up, and then she's also turning and screaming at the man who's standing in their apartment. And she said that the guy looked around and then she said get out, and like pointed where the front door is, and he went down a flight of stairs. Their apartment had stairs up into the main floor, and then just walked out the door and never came back, didn't say anything, didn't take anything, didn't do anything. Just we like to think that he was so hungry and on drugs that he smelled the shrimp boil and then climbed up there to see what was going on. The party was already over, and so Ryan slept through one hundred percent the entire thing. She said. When the guy, so the man walks into their living room kitchen area, because it's a broken apartment, things are connected, She's standing near her past ole husband yelling get out, to get out of here. That guy leaves, she runs downstairs, locks the door behind him right away, then runs back upstairs to lock the window. And she said her biggest fear was that he was just going to do the same thing again on some like weird loop where he was like, you know how drunk people sometimes repeat themselves and tell you the exact same story and they laugh at the exact same moment and yeah, and then in the morning he was like, she swears it's true, and I'm like, I'm listening to this story and I'm like, dude, come on. She's like, I was shaking him to wake up, and he's just like smiling and sleeping on the sopha. Nothing bad happened, Nothing was stolen. But whoa babude just to see a stranger coming through your window?
I mean, I think about it every single night. For some reason, I never thought about it in New York, and then in Los Angeles. Now I think about it every night. Or is a go to bed every single night? I imagine it? That is like, I think that's one of my biggest fears. Is a home invasion?
Yeah, I guess, but they're so unlikely, they like, they're right, They're like the most unlikely thing to happen. I mean that being said, It's happened to me twice, and both times I chased the person out and I was lucky. Yeah, and Brooklyn once I've told that story.
Then the guy with the bat, Hey, what was the second time?
The NLA the Yeah, the two nights before to Chinese exchange, students came to my house thinking that my cabin was their Airbnb rental, and so I politely told them get away from my house. I didn't know who they were. I had no idea they were coming. And then the owner of the airbnb next door was like, sorry, those guys just landed at midnight. They don't know where they are. My apologies and they did have like backpacks on. And then then like two nights later, somebody opens up my fence my gate to get in my backyard, and I thought it was Airbnb again, so I just yelled wrong house as tough as I could, just like row house, and they froze and backed up and relocked the gate and then ran up my stairs and out of there. And then I checked my security camera and yeah, it was just some dude who I think was trying to steal stuff from under my deck and off my yard, or was a graffiti artist who was going to jump my back fence. I faced the valley and tag my fence. So that being said, our good Louisville slugger did the trick both times. And that's a bat, folks. And that's about folks hit us with a story. Kurtibee, Hey you go, pal.
Startup alarmed when it's Ai starts Rick rolling clients.
Yeah, our alarm is a weird word for that. Actually, right delighted, you love it, you love it. I like he's he's really had a great resurgence. Like everybody just loves Rick Astley. Now I know still got the pipes. Uh.
This was sent in by Shoshana at Shashka Bob on Instagram.
Thank you, Thank you Shoshana. That's a pretty name.
Uh. This was in the Bite uh and written by nor Al Sabay. A lot of people are talking about saying they are the best in them.
Heads will roll.
We reached a new milestone in the Uncanny Valley. Folks ais are now rickrolling humans. In a now viral post on ex formerly Twitter Flow, Cravello, the CEO of the AI assistant firm Lindy, explained how this bizarre mimetic situation or memedic situation I don't know, featuring Rick Astley's nineteen eighty seven hit Never Going to Give You Up, came to pass known as Lindy's the company's AI assistant, Lindy's Wait, the AI assistant known as Lindy's lindis I don't know, it's l I n d ys.
The company is a pretty country name. If they went with Lindy like, you rarely meet a Lindy anymore. That's not driving a pontiac.
The company's AI assistants are intended to help customers with various tasks. Part of a Lindy's job is to teach clients how to use the platform, and it was during this task that the AI helper provided a link to a video tutorial that wasn't supposed to exist a customer reach out asking for video tutorials, Cravella wrote in his now viral tweet threat about hilarious tobaccle, we obviously have Lindy handling this, and I was delighted to see that she sent a video. But then I remember we don't have a video tutorial, he continued, and realized Lindy is literally fucking rickrolling our customers. And a screen recording of the incident, Cravello further demonstrated the asistant did indeed provide the customer with a link to the never Gonna Give You Up video, which is exactly how memurs for the better part of last two decades have trolled each other. Though he's not interly sure, entirely sure how it happened, the Lindy CEO and founder told tech Crunch that he has a theory about how his AI assistants figured out how to execute this specific brand of Internet humor.
Quote.
The way these models works is they try to predict the most likely, not the most likely, next.
Sequence of tech.
So it starts like, oh, I'm going to send you a video, So what's most likely after that YouTube dot com? And then what's most likely after that is rick. It's just yeah, if we're doing it, that's the craziest thing.
This is what I've been thinking about.
We're because of the fact that we're just training all these ais on us. We're just making little us.
Yeah, dumb children.
Yeah, we're just making little us. And then eventually little us is going to become smarter us.
But we're not. We're not.
Oh so you think there might be like a stopping point or it.
Goes like it's I think there's a chance that like we are smarter now than ever in history, like educated people now, not you and me, but it's our world. Our friend Laurel Bristow, she's smarter than people five hundred years ago or five thousand years ago, or we are, and yet we're still so stupid. Yet we are the dumbest species there is. So I feel like if it is a replica of us, it will advance very quickly and there'll be this general layer of intelligent reaches and and then for some reason, dumb shit like this will never stop happening, and maybe it gets even dumber. Like I saw a thing two days ago, an article that was a student got in trouble because the teacher said they The teacher asked chat gpt if it had written this paper, and chat GPT lied and said, yes, I wrote this paper. And then they ran it through two other sort of AI tests, and the teacher realized that chat gbt was lying in the student was telling the truth, and wrote a letter to the student apologizing, Wow, So that to me means it is becoming more like humans. Yeah, that's crazy. You know. It is kind of like, I you, we're all so reliant on technology now. But then I was reading that the Internet is now fifty seven percent bots or something, so like, now AI is learning stealing stuff on the Internet that's actually just bots. So it's sort of digesting itself. And I don't know. I'm sure. I'm sure you're one day it's gonna be great and cure cancer or something and do and then we're all gonna go yay, there's no more Alzheimer's. Thank you AI. But it does kind of feel like if because hub it's made it, it will also remain sort of delightfully stupid the entire time and send memes of Rick Astley too. Yeah.
But also, hey, scientists, could we go a little quicker on the AHI curing cancer part?
Yeah?
And less quick and less quick on the AI taking jobs of creatives?
Can we just please like cure cancer? That's exactly what we want AI to do.
That's all we wanted to do.
Yes, detect things so radically early that we could treat them before they're a problem. Let's do that. We don't need you to take the weekend song and put Taylor Swift's voice in it, even though it was kind of cool. What was your first What was the first meme you remember seeing on the internet? Is there one that you go what is this? And somebody goes, that's a meme? Oh, that's a great question. It has to start somewhere.
Yeah, I think maybe maybe, Oh, I remember it was a video, but it was this little dog, probably a pug, and it was to this song by Nerd and eat r D.
I'm a gangster, I think. Or it's like.
Bound out, bound out, bound out, but now bound out. Yeah, and uh, and it's like a shot of the dog and then a shot of a giant Pokemon and then a shot of the dog and then a shot of the Pokemon, and then the dog just go into town.
Humping that Pokemon.
Fantastic and it just is and he and the dog is doing it so excitedly to hump this Pikachu that it's just is a beautiful thing to watch.
Beautiful that it was implanted. The three that all come to mind for me is one is the one that I'm sure you remember, because you also know a little bit more about computers than I do, but not a lot more. We're both pretty not great at them. Somebody had sent me the thing on it on American Online on AIM messaged me and I clicked the link and it opened up my disk drive to be a free drink holder. I remember my mind was blown. Somebody was like, hey, open this, and I clicked a link which already is so innocent online where you're like huh, And then the tower of my Dell or Gateway computer I think it was a gateway just the disk drive came out and said congratulations, you have a free cup holder, and I'm like genius. But that was my freshman year of college. And the two that I really remember is one sent me early gift or an early gift, however you say it. And it was Yoda standing behind a sheep, a single sheep, and when you opened it, Yoda said, big penis you have? Yes? That's it. That's so dumb. It's not even Eddy connection whatsoever. Big penis you have? Yes? And I was not the biggest Star Wars fan then and I'm not now, but I was like, if this is the internet, sign me up? And then and then the other was one day somebody are are the UMass website that we had to sign up for things? Somebody had hacked it, and I believe the Sesame Streek character was Telly. Was that the red one? Remember there was one Sesame Street's like.
I think red and he's big and he's kind of dumb.
Yeah, Telly monster Telly. I think it was Telly. But it was just Telly headbanging to a metal song for like four hours before the administration could get to it. That is the That is what.
The other one that I was gonna mention it was a bunch of muppets singing.
Beastie boys. I think check your head. Ah, that was pretty good. I remember that one too. Hold on, let me look into Telly because it is Telly. Telly Monster is a slightly neurotic young monster who lives at three one three zero four Sesame Street. Early on, Telly was often paired with Oscar the Grouch, whom he tried to befriend against tremendous odds. Ah, poor Telly. The two were traveling companions and follow that bird. Let's see. Yeah, so Telly is just a neurotic sack puppet. Okay, that's I didn't know they were called sack puppets. It's an educational podcast.
It is, but I'm very excited that they're called sack puppets. That makes them sound like little pieces of garbage.
Oh my gosh, this is so good. His original television form, he was television obsessed, and his habit of watching TV just inches away from the screen was perceived as a bad example for children. And he has spiral pupils his eyes. His pupils black dots. They are actually red spirals from sitting too close to the TV.
That is so funny that a TV show is telling kids to not watch so much TV.
Yeah. Another of Telly's most definable traits curt is his affinity for triangles.
Oh of course, Yeah, Lou Berger.
Who invented him, said that he wanted to give Telly a passion for something outside of being neurotic. Cap inspired when his son was playing with some triangles at home. All right, great, I love it. How about that? Look at that?
Give me another one, Scottie, give me a title and then send us into some thumbs up.
Teacher fired after his phone reveals just how long he played candy Crush during classes. Wow. Wow, I played it. Never played at one time? I never pad is that? M First of all, this isn't even a thumbs up. I just have to report back. So a little while ago, we did a story about a woman who it took her twenty years to finish AT's Crusstitch and thanks to the Banana bal Network, Mary Lofus emailed the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com, which you can too, and she said she was the woman who it took her decades to finish the hedgehog playing the saxophone. And she said, sorry, Scottie, I won't sell it because it has been a part of my life for so long. Mary, that is the correct response. Congratulations on your beautiful wall. Yes, congrats. God, that is so funny. Thumbs up. Danielle is thumbing her husband Randy Way up for releasing a self produced second album of his band Red Reveal. It's a passion project in a labor of love, which he completed while also being an amazing teacher and dad. Nice congrats, So google the band Red Reveal and listen to their second album. Jess Kitch is thumbing me up actually for convincing her to watch Detective Pikachu with her eight year old daughter. They both thought Detective pikachuw was very funny. Oh yeah, they say. Thumbs up Scotty for punching it all up and that she wants everybody to know it's streaming on Netflix now.
No, No, I've watched it many times with Olive and it is enjoyable to watch.
I wrote three very fun scenes that I recently watched and felt some glimmer of pride about. They got the job done and they are funny. Rachel Brown is thumbing her brother Scott up. Scott became a Twitch affiliate back in December. His channel is called Too Scott to Handle. But I have to say that it's number two Scott, number two h A N D L. There's no E on the end. So to Scott to Handle. He is a variety streamer, so if you like Twitch, check him out. He plays games, but he also off He also offers redeems, which I don't know if that's like a thing for improv of a original characters and music, readings of the Scottish translations of Harry Potter. And he shares the spotlight with his dog Bruce. So checkouts to Scott to Handle Sunday, Monday, Wednesday nights at ten pm Eastern Time in the United States on Twitch. Here's two more fun ones. Now let's just see one more. Now, let's do two more. I'm here, I'm still behind. Thumbs up to bananimal Jess Santana, who was injured in a terrible car accident but still is able to graduate with a Doctor of Physical Therapy degree. She had a baby and also had a spinal surgery and then found out that she passed her Physical Therapy Orthopedic Certified Specialist exams. So now I think she's practicing in northern La County and in California. So if you need a physical therapist dm US, we can connect you. Thumbs up and last, but not least, this one is a thumbs up to Sarah Bananimal Sarah at Sadie Best Vintage. Checkout Sadie Best Vintage on Instagram. Who was the original person to reach out to us and say there's a chapter of I support the girls in Denver and it was the reason we came up with the Guinness World Record for the world's largest tampon toss. Huge success, very fun. So thumbs up to you, Sarah. It was a great idea and I think well executed and that's what I got.
Thank you for everyone who sends them in. Of course you can send all of your thumbs up. You can send news and what not to our Instagram, the Bananas Podcast, or you can email us with less with less with less dependable response at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. But we were apply to every DM emails too hard.
Emails are too hard, very hard to get me. Find me on linkedin' I'm always on LinkedIn, just making connections and with business savvy people. So he is.
He's always I always say what are you doing? Man, We'll just be hanging out.
What are you doing? You're on your phone? You said LinkedIn? Baby, I'm in there in where linked And then I also am curious about LinkedIn because as a writer who has been fortunate enough to write a bunch of TV shows and get a few movies made, I've never won an award, Kurt, not one, not one single writing award. I never will. I'm never gonna win an award. I'm just going to be a good, working class writer. Yet everybody that befriends me or whatever you do, matches with me, pairs with me on LinkedIn? Who's a writer is an award winning writer? It blows me away. What awards am I missing out on?
Let's give Sagati some awards, folks.
Yeah, find me on LinkedIn and send me some awards. Right here we go, Reach in the Darkness who sent one recently? So they've been sending great stories. Thank you, Reach in the Darkness. Teacher fired after his phone reveals just how long he played Candy Crush during classes. Right, this was on NDTV India News. And then I think it's just the Indian news staff that'swing in India News staff. Nobody wanted their personality pasted to this one. Some ball Utar, Pradesh addiction to the mobile game Candy Crush cost a teacher in a government school his job. The teacher has been suspended for paying, playing candy crush on his phone, and talking on his phone during school hours. The incident came to light when the district Magistrate raj Rajendra Pencia went to the school for random check and found scores of mistakes in the student's copies, starting from the first page to the last page. Just scores of mistakes. Scores is a great word. Everybody should be using scores more in twenty A score is twenty four score and twenty years Yeah that is yes? Is it twenty No? I have no idea to look it up. We got the internet. No, how long is the score? Guessing? I like guess it? Well, twenty years kurty b you're on it four score and twenty years ago.
Wait, four score and twenty years ago. Why wasn't it five score? Why wasn't it just one hundred years four score and twenty years ago?
Just as one eighty seven years? Yeah? Oh eight?
What so then a score can't be four score and oh it's four score and seven years ago?
Yeah it was a that's the saying, and also a hey, just say eighty seven years ago? Man, that's we.
Wouldn't know the speech if he said eighty seven years ago.
But that's even funnier that this random check found scores of mistakes on the student's copies. So let's just say just by twenties. We'll go with eighty eighty mistakes from the first page the last four score miss mistakes. Later, a feature on the teacher's phone which hours dedicated applications, revealed that he spent two hours playing candy Crush every single day. That is, so one fourth of his day he was playing candy Crush. Teachers should focus on checking the classwork and homework of the students and ensure that they get equality quality education. Also, using mobile phones is not a problem, but using them for personal reasons during school hours is just not right, said the district magistrate. Mister Poncia checked six pages of six students copies and spotted ninety five mistakes, wow, with nine being on the first page alone. He expressed displeasure about this and checked assistant teacher Pream Goyle's phone. The digital Wellbeing feature on that teacher's phone then revealed that the five and a half hours of school. During the five and a half hours of school, Priam Goya spent over two of them playing candy crush, talked on the phone for twenty six minutes, and used social media apps for thirty minutes. So it's really three fifths of the day he spent or he or she spent just candy crushing it up, texting buddies, chatting on the phone, and looking at social media apps. It turns out I should have been a teacher. The district magistrate apprized the state Education Department of the matter, who took cognizance of the same. It suspended the assistant teacher indefinitely. There you go, there it is, there it is.
I've had some bad I've had some bad teachers in my time, but they were mostly bad because they were they were monks, and they had dedicated themselves to Christ and not to teaching, and they just happened to be at a.
Place that had a school.
So they're like, hey, person who doesn't have any ability or skill or desire to be a teacher, you're now a teacher. And that is the worst system on the planet.
Yeah, you don't want to force teaching the teachers that loved being a teacher. My mom loved being a teacher. She loved it. Yeah, nothing better than teachers who love being teachers the greatest people in the world.
Every lay person at that school was one of the best teachers I've ever had, And every monk that I had was the absolute worst teacher that I've ever encountered in my entire life.
Matt Besser, Matt.
Besser is the worst teacher I've ever had in my entire life.
Across the board. That makes a lot of sense. I this story reminded me. I worked at a greenhouse between my freshman year and sophomore year in college. It was called rad Ball's Greenhouse. It was in Towson, Maryland. We planted everything, mostly flowers, lots of summer flowers, but also their big sales thing. We're like selling these points setia is for just so much money. I mean, people around the holidays and Thanksgiving will spend so much money on what is a weed in Mexico. Yeah, you could drive south and go dig them out of the hillside. Also, I found out that Sunset Boulevard like kind of where from the Comedy Store to basically the strip, the Sunset Strip two hundred years ago. All points Edti is cacti and points setias in every direction. Oh wow, look at that. Isn't that?
It's just the whole thing of like the definition of weed. I mean just we just means like I don't want this to grow here because I'm crying to do a little thing.
I'm trying to mono culture. That's right, That's right. So I worked at this place called Raid of Balls, and I just did for one summer. So during this three months, they're a really great small staff, but our job was to plant every single flower, every mom every marigold, every points eddio, every single thing. We planted tens of thousands of these things, so you got to know everybody. Because they have to steam these giant troughs of soil to kill all the fungus and anything in there that might harm the plants. So the first thing to do is they fill a giant wagon with top soil and then they stick this huge hose of steam and they steam it until the whole thing is roaring with steam. You had this job, yeah, this was in high school. Yeah no, no, in college, between freshmen and sophomore year. My uncle Mike ran a big part of it. So I was like, hey, I need a job. And it paid better than you know, working at McDonald's, I suppose, so also I like knowing how to do ships too. And then as soon as this soil was steamed inside of a greenhouse in Maryland June July, August, so you can imagine the temperatures happening here. You take over these pallets of two inch four inch six inch four by four whatever they were five inch different pallets of pots, and then you dig your arms into the steaming soil and you pull it over the whole trail. And then you take the head of a shop broom, so well, there's long brooms and you just put little dips in each one so that they're not overflowing soil. And then finger finger finger finger finger finger finger plant plant plant, plant, plant, plant, plant, and this.
Stinger finger finger, you're just like putting a seed in.
Yeah, you're putting a little seed ling in. Usually that it comes like already has established roots and it's in a little it's like this, yeah, fertilized little foam thing. It's a stuck in. So you plant all those and then you stack those and then you spread them out so we're all points that he is or moms or marigolds or I mean really what a daft whatever people were buying. Oh okay great. So every day at some point all of us would start potting plants. And there were two women that work with me, a mother and daughter. They were Japanese American. They the mother was first gen Yumi. Her name is Yumi. She was a wonderful, great employee, such a hard worker. And her daughter was really sweet woman named Mia. And every single day the higher summer, you me would listen to a CD player like a disc man, and she would dance like really cute. I would see her all the way across the greenhouses, kind of bobing her shoulders and mouthing the words to a song. And so after I was there for a few weeks, and I would make him laugh and be silly and you know, spray myself with the hose for a laugh. I eventually asked you me what she listens to, and she said it was her daughter, Mia had recorded a CD and so she was listening to her own daughter singing. And every single day from eight am when we started until four pm when we stopped her she would listen to her daughter and pop plants and stack plants with water plants and trim weeds and do all the stuff. Her daughter, who was right with her. Yeah, Mia and Mia, they would always be together planning stuff or like I was young and me was young, so we'd go and we'd have to like carry all this crap wheelbarrows worth of stuff. And so about two weeks later, I'm standing at the steaming soil planning things with Mia, and I'm like, that's so cute that You're mom listens to your CD every day. She goes it's one song. I go what she goes. I went to the mall and they had a studio where you could do a cover song and then they would burn you a CD. So she sung some pop song from two thousand and two, I guess, Oh my god, and her mom the entire summer listen to her daughter singing one song on Depeat eight to ten hours a day, one hundred days of that song.
Oh my god, that's amazing.
Isn't that the sweetest also craziest thing you've ever heard. It's both sweet and very crazy, but it was mindless. And it was like I would listen to the fans on the like the swamp fans on one end. That would kind of keep the regulated temperature and just like the that I would listen to that was potting, and you would start to like not hallucinate, but you would start to get into some kind of weird Yeah, you're it was like ambient white noise almost and you would almost start to have a better imagination some weird like flow steady thing was happening when you're just digging in the dirt.
Yeah, baby, I kind of crazy. That is crazy, and I love that so much. That's adorable.
Yeah, it was adorable. Just bopping her little shoulders, planting marigolds and listen to her daughter singing like Britney Spears over and over and over for one thousand hours. Well, I think we did it, Scottie. That's another bananas. Thank you to everybody, exactly right. Thank you to Aaron Brown who helped orchestrate getting Karen and Georgia safely and timely onto stage with us It Comedy Works. Thank you to Katy Levine who does a great job with the podcast, and everybody who supports the podcast. Give us five stars on Apple or Spotify. Make sure that Spotify didn't unfollow us with your most recent update, which is insanity, And thanks everybody for listening.
Banana Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine. The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
And our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstart
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern
