Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt BraunohlerBonusode: More Would You Rathers and Advice #20
Kurt and Scotty answer listener advice and play some Would You Rathers!
World. Would you mind cillion pieces? Would trotting guys? Gals? No binary palace. Welcome to a bonuside, Hi, Scotti.
It's a it's a pleasure. We're starting in the morning. I like when we record in the mornings, which is rare. We're usually afternoon dogs. But it does. It's a nice way to start the day. You're the first person I get to talk to you. Except I ordered a cold Bruce. I'm three SIPs of a cold brew in.
Oh, yeah, baby, I like it. I order a cold brew in. I like that, buddy.
Yeah, I got that cold brew going. So by the end this thing, I'm gonna be talking really fast, like the micromachine man. And but I have a story for you already know what.
I'm ready, I'm ready to hear it. Go for it.
Okay, Oh what do you know? The micromachine man? Is that what you were going to say?
No, the the zoom froze right before you said that. And then you know how sometimes it speeds up the audio to catch up with the current moment. It did that when you said all of that, and so it was hyper fast.
It was like you were into the Internet. Yeah, I'm very plugged into the Internet. I'm a digital.
Guy, very digital guy.
Guys, the millennials we had, we were the vanguard, you know, we had to learn so that others could fly. Okay, So yesterday, around four in the afternoon, I was pitching and writing all day and I get this text and I won't use the real here, give me a fake. A guy's name, Kurt any Man's name, sal sal So sal My, one of my close his friends, sou note a guy that I'm just friends with, not even one of my closest friends. I get this text. This is a big ask, but if you could, if you have some time tomorrow, any chance you could pick these up and store them at Blank's place, another friend's place. Maybe you have an assistant that could. And I wrote, yeah, I can figure this out. And then they sent a link to and it says adult Triple x VHS tapes, tons of them horror rare. Okay, So they want me to go pick up tons of the porno tapes porn and horror, yeah, or the combination of both. Oh, porn horror. So I was like, hey, I'm kind of busy today. So I went last night and I get in touch with this guy on Facebook marketplace, and the.
Many yestions before we get to this point. But why why why would you? Why would he ask you this? And why would you do it? Okay, he's in Chicago, you kind to him.
No, he's a friend. He's a friend, but it's somebody I hadn't heard from in maybe six months or more over test. So, yeah, this is a big ask. But if you have some time tomorrow, any chance? So I was like, well, I can go tonight if they can let me go at like eight, And so he's like, well, here's the guy's information and then all you got to do is get him from his place to another friend's place. And I go okay, so for storing. So I was like, I responded, yeah, I can figure this out. And so I get in touch with the guy who has the tapes, and I'm like, where are you? And he's basically on the east Side. He's not quite in Lincoln Heights, but he's near Frogtown.
Okay.
So I drive to this address and there's a loading dock and it's like a warehouse and it's so I'm back in this parking lot and and I'm like, hey, I think I'm here, and the guy comes out he's like, oh hey, awesome. Yeah I didn't hear. And I go in and this is a warehouse of like just the weirdest giant props.
Oh wow.
Like there's there's like a guy in the corner welding something. There's a man that's holding like a stuffed animal in like like a It looked like a dog, but I don't even know what it was. And I passed that guy. That guy's just wandering around, and that dude holding the stuffed dog or the stuffed animal whatever was continuously got my way for the next fifteen minutes. So I round this corner and the man that I meet is pretty nice. He doesn't seem like super creepy and weird.
He's like a production guy who is just like he's getting rid of this stuff from.
Yeah, And I was like, is this like a prop squarehouse? He's like, it's like an art collective. And I was like, okay, you know, that's all the conversation I need, and I cover around the corner. There are twenty one boxes of porn. No, they're labeled one two yards. That's how I know there's twenty one. I they are full to the top, and so I later ran the numbers and it was like, I think there were something like forty to fifty cassette vhs porn taped per box.
What oh, so it is all porn, it's all horror porn.
Yeah, it's porn and horror movie porn.
Which I didn't know is that I did not know, so porn was the thing either.
But it was definitely a weird place. So it was like definitely the kind of thing where you're like, oh, is it a.
Weird place with twenty one boxes of horror porn just waiting for anyone to come by and pick up.
Yeah. And so I'm like, did sal already pay you? He goes, yay, pay me half, and then he's going to pay you the other half. When you text him and say you got him. I'm like, well that's smart. Now we're all just operating like business. Yeah, so I start.
I grabbed the first one room for twenty one boxes in your car.
I borrow No, not in my car, I borrow an SUV because I was.
You're such a good friend.
Well, I want to be the kind of person that somebody can go there's porn in Los Ange Angels, and I need somebody responsible to go get it in twenty four hours, and I'm like, boy, did you text the right guy? Also, you could say, hey, how you doing first? Anyways, So so I grab a box and then this dude i'm getting them from grabs a box of porn and I'm telling you, there's so much heavier than I expected, like twenty pounds, let's say twenty twenty five pounds, And so I put it in, and the guy, because the way I backed up to the loading doc, the man whose porn it was, he hits his head on the corner of the open suv, which is sharp like with the bottom, and instantly it's like oh, and then he's rubbing his head and walking away. So then it's just me loading nineteen more boxes of pornography and then fitting it into an suv like a Jengae like or like a Tetris, and you don't want to corn, no, no, And also I don't look inside, and because I'm like, I don't even want to know, like I know there's tapes in there because you could see through like the handles, but so I'm stuffing them in. I get them all outside and then meanwhile, like I said, for fifteen minutes, I'm kind of like walking back and forth out of this warehouse over and I'm stacking them outside the suv before I have to like figure out how to seats down. The guy carrying the stuffed animal just repeatedly is zigzagging in front of me to a point where I'm like, At first, I'm like, I'm not gonna say anything, because I think this person might not be all the way there, yeah, whether on drugs or just in another way. And then about the fifth time I'm walking by with two bankers boxes full of porn, I'm like, hey, man, excuse me, and he's like, oh oh oh, and then just steps aside and then just stood and watched me carry porn for another five minutes. So then I get it in and I get it all the way and it's the entire backs of all I took photos. I have photos of all this because I wanted to do this.
Sounds like the like like it sounds like this is in Baltimore, do you know what I mean? Like, now that you're just unloading this and a man holding a stuffed dog is watching the whole time, if this very much feels like a Baltimore specific place.
Just the guy welding in the corner, so you can't look over there because it's just a blinding bright light flickering every now and then. So I'm like, okay, thanks guys. And then they just closed the warehouse door. So then it's just me in a parking lot with all was porn in an SUV that I'm.
Borrowing last night.
Yeah, it was actually kind of helped. So I start loading it in and I fit it all in. But I have like four boxes in the passenger seat afront, I probably have eight in the middle seat, and then in the back I just fit them in. I mean I packed them in. You would not have believed how I got it in. So then I start driving and my first thought is I hope I don't get t boned in front of like a school. And then they find load dead, my body dead, amongst just a mountain of cassette pornography, most of which is horror movies. I'm the horror scared core porn. So so then I get the address of where I'm going, and like, I figured out it's actually not that far. It's like a twenty minute drive, and so I drive it over there and I'm like laughing and this is so funny. I'm sending pictures to people with just a boxes behind me. And I get to the right neighborhood and I get outside the house and I text the other person. We're going to call her Mary, that's not her name, and I'm like, hey, Mary, I'm here. And she's like, oh, hey, dude, has no idea what this means.
And I'm like, hey, Sal, no, no, no.
And so she comes out just thinking I'm like fun and I know her a little bit too, like just I know her enough where she's like, oh, hey, Scotty, like what's wrong. And I'm like, hey, I have Sal's boxes and she goes, what is this? I go, I think it's all pornography and she's like, what am I supposed to do with it? I said, well, he said that you were cool with it storing it here. She goes, are you kidding me? And so, oh my gosh, she goes, well, I don't want that in my house.
It's probably it's also just the definite just the genre sounds terrifying.
Yeah, porn and horror movie porn. And so she's like, is this really porn? Takes the lid off one of the boxes. I mean packed to the gills as organized as you can have cassette tapes one some of them are red red cassette tapes. I don't remember those at all. I was too young, I think for the VHS porn era. And so we load them out and she goes, well, I don't want those in my house. But there's like a shed around back. We can put him there tonight. But he's going to get a storage unit. There's no way I'm keeping all this here. She's like, what if there's like bad porn on here? And I hadn't even thought of that, So like, great, now I'm trans porting something illegal. I hadn't thought of that. So then I'm like, let's get it out as fast as we can. And so we loaded into this back shed that's like got I don't know all kinds of stuff, and it's so much that it barely fits in that little shed. I mean, I'm talking, what.
Is up you sound? This is what is going on? To not check with this person? This is crazy.
She had no idea. Mary was like, and this is all porno tapes? And I go, I think so, And so we get we get everything in and she's moving things to fit more boxes in. We can't even close the shed door because it swings in. There's so much porn. So I'm just relieved to have it out of my car. I also have to go, you know, bring the suv back.
I borrowed at suv too.
Yeah, so I didn't want to stick around either. But like when we were leaving, she was like, what is this? And so she opens the box when we're in the shed and the she pulls out one tape and the only it said triple X Cinderella, ebony and white. And then we both put it back in because we were like, all right, I bet that is a real thrill ride. And then I left and then I texted her this morning. I'm like, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to just show up and drop porn on you. Yeah, And she's like, I already got a storage unit. She's like, I already paid a task grab it to move it for me.
This.
Meanwhile, you and I are recording it's nine to thirty when we started at eight. By eight thirty, she had already gotten it out of there. Wow, Because she didn't want her landlord or whatever or anybody to be like, are you a perf?
Yeah?
What's going on so much more.
So sal sells pornography by the tape? Is that what he does?
I think he? I honestly, you don't know what he wants it for. I didn't ask. I just went and moved that poorn And it's just the kind of guy I want to be in people's life. And so I'm done with it. The whole thing experience is over. But it was I'm talking to zero DVDs, all VHS tapes. I have a screenshot of the text message, and then I just have photos of like me trying to figure out how to get this much in. But I also, like kind of smartly was like I'm not I mean, Kurt, look this is what I walk into. That's how much poor?
Oh my god, it's okay. So for folks, it is I don't know if you've ever seen the children show number.
Blocks, Yeah, it's exactly you see number blocks. It is.
It looks like a number blocks character and it's taller than a human being. Wait, way way taller than a human being, and wider, probably as wide as a human being.
Like laying down packed there's the back of the suv and me trying to figure out how to get so much VH. So anyways, uh, that's how I That's how I'm ending my week. And what a way to end it. What a thrill ride.
That's a I mean that is I love that, Like, I mean like it's just so much. It's just so much solder dude.
It was heavy, like I was. Mary couldn't carry more than one box at a time. I was doing two at a time just to get them out. But Mary was like, what you seriously can't be and I'm like, it is, it is. So that's how I started. That was my Wednesday night or Thursday night.
Wow.
Wow, pretty great way to start the day.
Pretty great way to start the day.
Man. I was so honored.
Oh man, I'm so that's a wonderful story. I'm so happy for that story.
It felt good.
I just got back. I got back from from camping and Shennon dead was it.
Yeah, it's beautiful there.
It's so beautiful there.
It is.
There's these uh you know, primitive cabins that we go to and you have to hike into them and you know, but it's got like a wood stove inside and it's got a bunch of like cast iron pans that you can use, and there's an outdoor fireplace that like is just so key, and it was stocked with wood when we got there, which is amazing.
Last time we hacked it or did you sleep inside?
I hammicked it. But the first night I hammocked it was so windy. I was pretty miserable. And then the next day I hammicked and it was delightful. And then the third day it was just like a rain storm, and I was like, I don't need to because I have a nice warm place to sleep.
Yeah, rain is out word fall rain, East Coast rain.
I know, especially in November, but.
It was a cold November rain.
What a delight. Also came up with an idea for a show called how the hell did this even become a thing?
I love that?
And it's like it's just it's just like a where in human history? How did like us eating mushrooms? Like, how did like eating it as a food source? You know, like something that like ninety eight ninety percent of them like murder you immediately, and ten percent are kind of tasty? How did that? How did that become a thing? You know? And then you have like different people, So here's how it works. So you have three experts on one is a real expert and the other two are comedians, and then they have but have a very convincing story, and then you get to decide which one is the actual correct story of how we started eating mushrooms.
I like that. I think that's great. There's that board game Malarkey. I think that's like you. Oh I remember put it was. It was a fun I think it is. It's either Boulder Dash or Marlarky. But it was one of those games where it goes, why are Levi's five oh one jeans called five oh one? And then one person has the card with the answer, and they can choose to lie or not to lie, okay, and then everybody else has to say, oh, I know they're called, and it will be you. That's what I was gonna say. So this is you would have been incredible because you would just confidently being like, oh, yeah, I grew up with this guy and uh, you know, his dad worked on the railroad and the from Jersey to California, the five oh one rail line, and the men that built that line wore jeans, and Levi's made their jeans, so they and you go, wait, is that right? Is that I have no idea, yeah, or say.
Actually were very simple. I know this because I used to work in a Levi's jeans store in New York City in two thousand and two. And it's just that if five oh one is the Oklahoma area code that the genes were actually started in.
I believe you you God makes so much sense to me. Well, I think that's a great idea. Also, if you can't sell to a TV show, that would be a fun podcast that would be your weight weight. Don't tell me.
That's a great podcast idea, Yeah there is. I do think they do it on weight weight. Don't tell me as just a segment, but you know what I'm gonna go on.
But there's huge dorks and you're cool. Actually exact dorks are out. Nerds are out. Cool guys are back. It's simply not ever going to be true again. The nerds ruled the world sadly.
How about Oh, they're trying to take you. They're trying the non dorks are trying to get it back.
But yeah, they're trying.
Here. What Okay, give me a would you rather do you have? Oh?
Sure, I have a bunch? Yeah, oh great? Thanks? Thanks everybody, send them in. We have some gross ones, we have some not gross ones. Okay, let's see, here's a real simple one. Victoria sent this in thank you. Victoria. Would you rather Taco Tuesday or Sunday brunch?
Taco Tuesday or Sunday Brunch?
What do you enjoy more?
I'm thinking is I have a question if children are involved, because it does change my answer? WHOA, yeah, okay, what's your question? What's your what's for sure?
Taco Tuesday. I waited too many brunches. I was a waiter for so many brunches, and so I hate brunch. I actually would I love breakfast hate brunch?
Oh really? Oh? Because you had to? And also that is my I mean, like that was my job all through high school, was waiter for a bed and breakfast. So we only did breakfast, so it was like six am to eleven am or something like that. But it never made me dislike brunch. I always still love, even the smells of it. I'm like, well, I don't mind. I don't mind.
It's the beverages, to be honest, I mean it's over priced eggs too. But like when you wait, I waited brunch in Atlanta, so on Sara's and Sundays we did bignet brunch where we had a place called Huey's. It was New Orleans steam they made Bignet's. I told the story once about Alvi, the guy that worked the beignet, and he would He was a little Mexican man who didn't speak English. He was great. He wore big Johnson T shirts and Nascar hats and he was if I'm lying and dying, he was four foot eleven. Yeah, he was great at making Bignet's. But by the end of every brunch from all the powdered sugar, he just looked like a little snowman back there, like covered in white powder. And he would just like to see and just put him in the windows. I'm like, Alvi, you're the man. And the only thing he could say in English was my American cousin. That's what he would say to me, my American cousin, and I would go, thank you, ALBC. So the thing that would piss me off is it was the post church Baptist Church Atlanta crowd. So everybody's dressed really well, it's Atlanta, so it's white and black, which is wild landa is great and they would be like a table of four would get the kids would get two drinks at least, Like everybody get a water, everybody get a chocolate milk or an apple juice or whatever the kid wanted. Yeah, and then the parents would get a bloody mary or a mimosa and a coffee and a water tray is likes, and then everybody wants that. And then waiters have to make their own drinks. You don't have somebody back there getting your SODA's and your coffee is ready. Man, I hated I hated it so much that it was great money because people were coming from church and you could tell they felt a little bad about being sinners, and so they were trying to do the right thing. And but yeah, I would go Taco Tuesday every time. Over Sunday brunch means yeah, I don't. I don't enjoy brunch.
Sunday brunch with children does not sound delightful to me. Sunday brunch without children sounds like a real treat because it's the beginning of a lazy day. It's the beginning of a you are you're You're You're like shifting, you're shifting the day into vacation. Mode, true, right, the first thing you do, which I really do like, and also the only time I ever have brunch, or it used to be when like a friend would come into town and we had had a light late night the night before. We're all hungry, but it's not it's it's not breakfast anymore, but we don't want lunch. And that's when you would have a brunch and a little hungover with some good friends. And then there's always one person who's like, I'm a I'm have a blooded Mary, and then people are like and then it's just like that nice lazy feeling to the beginning of the day. Then you go home and maybe you watch a movie together and it's a delight.
That's nice.
And I'm imagining I'm imagining Asbury Park in the in the in the wintertime or the beginning of the winter time, when it's not like, yes, so horrifying, and like a Sunday, a Sunday brunch. I like that Taco Tuesday, you know, nighttime for children they have to eat, so might as well just like that. And they they like tacos, they like specific type of tacos, and we do it a lot. So I'm gonna go. So, if it's with kids, I'm going taco Tuesday. If it's without kids, I'm going brunch.
Okay, it's unfair. I think a lot of parents out there would agree with you.
Yeah, all right, here's a we're giving a little advice as well.
Kids.
Havanna boys.
This is me.
I am an activity director at a luxury senior living community and I love it.
It's great.
However, sometimes the residents complaints, requests, comments are so utterly ridiculous that like I lose the ability to speak English. So I need like three statements responses just in my back pocket that I can reply with when I freeze, like with the same energy of it's all gravy baby, something like that. You know, give me something something that will be either so absurd that it just shuts the conversation down and they don't also know what to say, or something that's just to catch all phrase that will work no matter what. So, can I have a couple of bananas phrases?
Please? Thank you? Hmmm?
Well, the Baltimore legendary the one that you've heard me say it so many times to crazy people on the sidewalks when somebody's yelling about anything. Yeah, and maybe they're yelling that they are dragging and that everybody else is going to get punched in the face by an almighty God. I always say you and me both, Bud, you and me both, and it catches people soft guard where somebody's like, I'm gonna kick your ass. You go, you me both? Man, So maybe slap instead of a butt on there. Yeah, just put gorgeous or spring chicken or about spring chicken.
M that's the best thing I've heard all day.
Ooh, you know, just go for a high five.
Just go for a high five. If you force high five, people are so whoa what oh okay? Oh. If somebody just comes up and it's just like, you know what I think we should do. I think we should have only raisins for desserts, and you go, that's the best thing I heard all day. Up, top up, top, boom, and then you walk away.
Yeah, if you can end it with a high five or low five, best thing I heard all day, Yeah, that'll work. And then I think some of the ban animals that follow us on Instagram know whenever we get fake accounts or people are trying to send us I don't know. Twenty one boxes up I always respond do you like corn on the cob? And uh, I don't know why, but it works. It throws people. And the best was there was one guy that was clearly a scammer that was like, yes, I do enjoy corn, but.
Actually that's a great one. Do you like corn on the cob? And then people most people would be like I do and be like, well, I guess we're on the same page then, and then walk away. Then high five and walk away.
Man. I think, yeah, see now we're yeah, and that's something we can build off of. Do you like her on the cop? But of course no, yeah, me neither. That's something we can build off of. All right, back to the hule hoop competition, Larry.
You look right in the eye and you go, now we're cooking with oil, and then you just walk away.
You can also give the old walking away show of hands, then raise your hand and walk away, walking away show of hands. Okay, guys, I'll see you end his head out.
Of there, walk away show of hands, and then that's you.
And then you raise your own hands and walk away. I said this once on a different podcast, but I've never regretted pretending to be asleep in my whole life. So maybe just close your eyes and just pretend to be asleep for a second, and then as the Brits say, sorry, love, I was miles away.
I was miles away. All right, give me another one, Bamy.
What a nice person, a kind of a fun job.
I know, right, But I can also imagine the lunatic requests as well.
How haven't they remade Cocoon? That movie is awesome? No.
Also, I mean people talk about this all the time, but it still shocks me that like the majority of the actors and that were like fifty five.
I know, Wilford Brimley was younger than George Clooney is now.
Yes, and people were just like, yeah, this is what an older person looks like. It's okay, it's okay.
It is true, like you know the old forties, the new thirty or thirty whatever they say, Yeah, it is true. That's seventy is the new fifty. Like people that are seventy now are so active and do so much stuff compared when we were kids. Like if my grandmother was seventy, she she was like just a crip keeper. Yeah, Like it was like a person that died along It was like the night at the end of Last Crusade where it's like I've been here for a thousand years.
Yeah, my mother in law is seventy six, I think or seventy five, and she is hikes up a mountain three times, the Dolomite times a week. She went to the she hiked the Dolomites at seventy five.
You know it's so true. Yeah, but Cocoon. If you've never seen the movie Cocoon, don't let us spoil it for you, but it is like a feel good sci fi comedy with old people, which I know is a crazy mashup of genres, but with boomers being the biggest percentage of America's population, Like, how haven't they brought back Cocoon? Just just do a remake with new actors.
Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent people would love it. If you're going to remake absolutely everything on the planet, give us a Cocoon, baby.
I know it's so true. Also, I watched Wolf's Did you watch Wolf?
Did watch Wolves? It was real right, Yeah, it was just like, oh, this has some fantastic premises and I'm ready to watch these two. I love watching them. I love watching George Cooney and Brad Pitt, come on my little baby boys.
Yeah, and I love Amy Ryan everything Amy Ryan is in. I'm like, she do you remember her? We hung out with her a little bit in New York. Really, she used to date. I don't know if she married.
Uh Eric Slovan, Oh yeah, okay, So she.
Was always around the comedy scene. But every time she's in something, I'm like, this is gonna be good, and she is good to this. But I thought Wolf's was kind of boring. It was.
Yeah. I paused it in the middle and then didn't come back to it until I was on a plane, and then I was like, all right, I'll finish this.
I finished it on a plane. That is the ultimate insult. Insult if I wrote that movie and you're like, I paulished it at home and finished it on a plane.
Because man, George Klooney and Brad Pitt just being fun together.
Or hey, Clooney and Bradley Pitt.
Handsome guys, handsomest man's Clooney's the best, though, I do I do like Clooney over I Sometimes, you know what I better. Sometimes I'll just watch Up in the Air. I'll just watch Up in the Air, and I love up in the air so much. It's such a good Jason Rightman, great movie, is a great director. Very proud of him.
You're very proud of the guy born into the Hollywood system who's dad directed Ghostbusters. Proud of that guy for breaking through and getting the movie made. Did you ever interview for any of the Ghostbusters jobs? I come brought in for so many of those, and every time they're like, you're our guy, and then just absolutely never picked me to write anything. So Lizy, I know it is so weird. Dude, Dude, I know it's about to get so much weirder too. Liz Man sent this in great name m A h N Liz Man or Liz Man, not a would you rather? But if your fingers on one hand could squirt out liquids? What five liquids would you pick?
This?
I know you would.
This is me up my alley man.
Okay, one has to be whatever gasoline your car takes.
Oh, it was not what I would go to. I don't want want, I don't want five. I don't want gasoline.
Finger. You don't want to walk out to your front yard, wave of the neighbors and stick your finger in your own car and filler up.
I have an electric car. I kind of do that already.
That's what I forgot.
You have an electric car, So I don't want smelly gasoline fingers. No, Scott, He's got gasoline is number one.
I like the smell of gas. Maybe that's part of my problem. I love it. I think it smells great.
I'm having Seltzer as one.
Okay, just a plane, No.
No, I'm going. I'm going lime spin drift. I got lime spin drift. And that's my pointer finger, Scotty. Who yeah? What Also if you make your gasoline finger your pinky finger, that's Pinky's so funny. Just stick it in there, gas and pinky. Are you writing this that Scotty's writing it down?
Yeah?
Yeah, gas pinky.
What's your number two?
Well, I think we would be lying to ourselves if we didn't put Tito's vodka out of one of our fingers, and I would say, my thumb. Just look at that guy, still sucking his thumb, just wobbling drunk.
Here's what I don't know if I want unlimited, constant access to v co on myself at all times. I liked that it lives in a specific place and that I have to go somewhere to get it.
Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever sat at a bar, like a real bar and looked at all those bottles and thought to yourself, Wow, this is contained death.
Yeah yeah, yeah, oh yeah, it's poison.
Poison. And when you look at a bar, you're like, if I drank three of these, I would die. And there they are glistening in the light, and we all sit and face them. How creepy is it to sit and face poison?
Yeah?
It's insane? Yeah, and we's so many people do that's just sit and look at this poison that could ruin everything for us. So, okay, Tito's vodka, thumb, gasoline, pinky.
I think I'm going. I'm going I'm going Crystal, Hot sauce pinky.
Yeah, you gotta have a hot sauce Yeyeah.
Yeah. I think I'm going crystal because it kind of is very You can use it on almost any thing and it works. I would maybe go good Franks, but I kind of like crystals better than Frank's or but also, you know what I really like is that green chi green chilula.
Oh that's so good.
Yeah, is so good. So I would I'm thinking crystal but maybe how that one is that's number.
Three is a hot sauce just dnk ding dnk. Yeah, that's good. I think maybe maybe for ring finger, I go like a really nice uh air freshener, like a scent, like so like if you were.
In at and then if you're.
In a bathroom, if you're in the back of an ub or, you could just raise your ring finger in the air and just just whatever. My favorite signature scent is that.
Is really really smart. I really like that Thank youinger scent. Such a good idea. I'm tempting.
I'll go index finger barbecue sauce. I'll skip hot sauce. I'm going barbecue sauce.
Okay, sauce.
Yeah, so I'm gonna go index finger barbecue sauce. So like, if I'm eating something, I'm like, you know what this needs, I could just point at it, squirt barbecue sauce on it.
I want something I want. I do want something salty, yeah, but it's liquid, you know what I mean. So it's just it's kind of difficult, like I don't know, I don't want I don't want pickle juice necessarily. I don't necessarily want.
Oh crazy, I mean, we have so much liquid ivy already, so yeah, we can make that at home. I've been drinking it. I had one this morning too. God damn, it's good. It's good.
So wait, I got seltzer and hot sauce. I got three left, right, you.
Could go hot sauce.
Oh, I know, I don't know. This is definitely one. This is my this is my ring fing her. There is a There is a mustard that I got ooh going hot tart already in the in the Paris airport. It was a and you can only get it in France, and I feel like such a bourgeois scumbag saying that, But I can't find it anywhere else. And it's a scallion and garlic mustard. Whoa that's made by me L M I E L E And I can't get it in the States. And I gotten the tiniest jar of it, and I was like, this is the I put it on everything. It was the most amazing mustard I've ever eaten in my life. I would have that come out of my ring.
And it was.
Jon yeah, but with scallion and garlic, it was so good. But it was it wasn't you know what you know how djon mustard can sometimes be a little bit harsh. This was so smooth. It wasn't overwhelming, it wasn't overpowering, but it still had such a good flavor. So that's that's my ring.
Okay, that's a good ring.
So I got two. We both have two left, right.
I have one left? Do you have? I have my middle finger left? And I'm torn. I'm gonna be honest with you, Okay, I'm torn between like spring water, pure cold, delicious spring water and SPF thirty sunblock.
An SPF thirty sun block.
You go to the beach and you just you just flip yourself off a little bit, just rub it in.
I do. I do Seltzer and spring water because I do kind of want both as well.
Do you love? You're a hydro.
I'm a hydro guy, so I do, think I do. I'm gonna do just I'm gonna have a Seltzer finger and a water finger. Okay, So I got mustard, water, Seltzer and hot sauce last one. Maybe we're going something sweet.
Yeah, you gotta go something sweet. You gotta treat yourself.
Talking about Yeah, what am I talking about? Scotty? I know exactly what it is. Okay, it's a cappuccino. Middle finger.
Oh damn, that's good.
Boom, just like that right in there, and it's a perfect cappuccino.
Oh shit, I might have to change mine.
Yeah what the middle finger is the capucin? Oh wait, no, no, no no, my thumb is sorry.
Oh you're gonna suck that thumb. You're gonna be sucking caps.
I go for a cappuccino.
Being tired, sucks thumbs down, fills this cup. Okay, so mine is pinky gasoline index finger pointing that barbecue sauce at those chicken breasts. Thumb, I'm thumbing tetos. I'm just walking down the street getting drunk as hell. Ring finger. A nice scent, A nice nice scent that that just makes it smell good where.
Yeah, but you'll need it because you'll smell a gasoline everywhere.
Yeah, or vodka, Yeah.
Gasoline, and for breeze. You're gonna be the weirdest smelling dude in town.
I know. And also, this is my left hand. My right hand is going to just stay my normal strong hand so I could wash it constantly. Middle finger, I'm going cappuccino with you. That's a great call.
Yeah, thank you. Yes, And then I got I got sparkling water, index finger, middle finger, no, no, middle finger, cappuccino, ring finger, regular water, pinky finger, uh hot sauce, and thumb no thumb is cappuccino, and and pointer finger is a DJ Mustard.
I love it. I love it.
That was the best game I've ever played. Whoever liz Man, My god, thank you liz Man. Liz Man.
That is yep. Yeah, that was fun. And you guys, they don't have to be woody rathers. They can be hypotheticals. You could just send to us what would you do? And so that was sol fun.
Well, thank you, Scottie, Thank you to everyone who sent stuff in. Keep sending would you rathers? And keep asking us for advice. You go to our instagram, The Bananas Podcast, or you can email us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.
You and me both. Paw Bay Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
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