Ash, Luttsy & Nikki OsborneAll the best bits of today's show - ready to go for your drive home
The ash Lutzi and Nikki Osbond snack.
Box went on above a good Dick joke on the show.
Never always under It.
Bring a staple of hours for many, many years now, many moons. The Grady Dick is an NBA player. That's his name for the Toronto Raptors in the NBA, and the commentators have, well, yeah, you try and work out whether you think they're being legit. Here this is a montage of the commentary on Dick's performance in the NBA.
This is Dick trying to penetrate outside. They trying to go back door with Dick. Dick aren't charging to the cup. Dick was gonna score.
Dick was coming wide open back door.
Dick couldn't hit it.
Dick goes down, Dick rises up, Dick goes down, Dick is out.
Dick struggling big time to night.
Sounds like Dick's on schoolies. That's hilarious. Where did you get that? It's so funny?
Found the bone this morning?
They went on to because now Shack refuses to say his name, that name.
The ash Latzi and Nikias Bond snack Box.
I'm in a weird space with the white loaders. I started a few weeks ago watching season three when it started, and then then we're well the breaks realized there was some characters that cross cross different series.
Because for the most part it's a new season, new cast.
I thought that's that was its deal.
It is, but there's like two characters, yeah, almost one and a half Jennifer COOLi.
And this was the guy that I know is Uncle Rico Napoleon Dynamite. But I went back and I finished season one yesterday nice, and I mean, I really, I really enjoy it. But I'm just like, it's also like this element of yeah, I do, I do, I do, but not.
Much happened because actually you haven't seen it, right, So LATSI. I I had this problem last week with somebody. If you had to say, pitch it ash, what is the white last about?
Go do that?
For the listener like me that doesn't know about the show, what's it about?
I would say it is, Yeah, it's a bunch of rich twats on holiday in a beautiful environment, stunning hotel, and it's all of their bullshit problems just bubbling away with creepy music to make it always feel like someone's gonna die or something. Really bad it's going to happen, and you're just always on the edge, really uncomfortable watching their rich misery.
That's actually an element I think too, isn't it The very first episode always starts with you finding like a death, and then it goes back to a week earlier. But as the season goes on, as so much debth, you're not really well, you're not thinking about who's gonna.
It feels like the way they set it up, it's going to be a murder mystery, like, well, it's a whole way through it, but it's not.
Really at all. It's just more about rich people being dix.
What genre is Is it a comedy?
Is it is it a murder mystery?
Is it a travel show?
Is misery a genre?
I think this is making it one rich misery.
I think it's I'm trying to work out if you spoke to the executive producers or whatever, are the writers what they're overwhelming message would be? And I get it's open for interpretation. Isn't it about the rich people?
And I feel like I feel like they're trying to get across it.
We've all got problems every day and it means nothing at the end.
Of the day.
Yes.
And also you mentioned just something quickly before the show, Nikki, about it starts questioning judgments you make in your own life. And that literally happened to me yesterday because in season one, So this isn't a spoiler alert bone stretch. One of the guys I'm bad with the names for the people in shows. What the guy that's with there, his wife and he's a bit of a and he wants to change rooms and he made because he doesn't get the room that he actually.
Booked, and he just won't give up on that. And I said, honey, doesn't matter, you know. And he fights for it, fights for it, fights through the entire way through.
Are you that guy I had?
I had a moment yesterday where I went and had lunch and I ordered a beef pie and it came and I, this looks fantastic.
Put beans in it. Peace.
I opened it up, an avalanche of peas came out and I just can't eat it, like that's my beans and peas.
It's well documented.
He goes off.
He goes off, inedible and inedible.
For me, it revolts you.
And I was about to excuse me, excuse me.
I checked the menu and does not have peas on it. There's peas all the.
Way through it.
I only had forty five minutes for lunch anyway, so I couldn't.
And I thought, no, I'm going to be that guy. I'm not going to complain. I'm not. I didn't. I didn't complaine.
You didn't complain.
I didn't complain about the peas because I thought the prayers, yes, yeah, we were.
Really eating that.
You had a pie that they with a knife and folk field because were you eating it.
On James Street?
It's like it, right, it was a meal. Here's a meal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's street?
Sorry, sorry that that was not supposed to happen.
Yeah, and you know what, I.
Didn't even see it did not have peas in the I checked.
I went back and thought maybe it was a beef pie with all the extras. I opened it up and it was like beef pie with mushroom and onion.
No mentioned a piece. So you're entitled to blow up.
I was entitled to all blow up, but off the back of the white loaders and thinking, don't be that dick.
I did not blow up.
I threw it.
I got many of the piece of the side had some of the crust and that was it.
So it influenced me.
It directly influenced me and people that have watched the show and a little.
Let me know, if any one's ever got a sore ankle, we can go to Lutzi's freezer and there'll be plenty of bags of peace.
The ash Lutzi and Nikkia's bond snack box.
Ash.
You're always talking about paying the taxman when you're getting old. He's like, you got to pay the taxman at some point. And I've got to say I've I was in the hairdresser yesterday looking at their very honest mirror while getting my hair done, and the taxman has definitely hit me in the face. In fact, often when I see I see the videos that Nick keeps putting up on our social media and he zooms in way too close, and I'm like, whoa buddy, No, no, no, no, no, we need least an arms distance away.
From my facial camera. Yes, yeah, social distancing for my wrinkles, and just you know, we look like crap.
What.
It's a disturbing lack of control we have over the vision they put out of us.
Here.
I will say that I've grown to care less than I used to, but it's still.
It's I still care.
Cameras come from it, high at you. The lighting is it's like it's like a bathroom from sore.
It's like an injecting room. It's terrible.
It's not ideal.
I feel you.
I'm worried that Nick our social sky thinks that I don't like what he's put to up. It's not that, it's just I don't like what I'm seeing because it's all too close.
He addresses is a confronting place for that, because you're you're literally forced to sit down and have a look at yourself.
Yeah, a wet head, Yeah, yes.
I look like a wet, slimy share in football. I've always been told my head is a face like the shape of a share in football, and where my.
Hair's wet, it's not pretty.
I look yeah, like a thumb slash football anyway, women know what I'm talking about.
All Nick's thinking of right now is like, maybe we could think we can paint her up like a sure in football. I've already dopped that.
You can't.
You've already turned me into You've already turned me into the autistic train guy, you did that to me on the social but I have resisted to date getting botox. I'm like the last line of defense in my friendship circle, and they're all telling me, Nickie, isn't it about time. It's like getting your teeth straight now, It's like it's time.
It's time you got the tos. You know, you look a little bit better.
Is that something that lay to each other without without fear of you know, are your friends they do?
Yeah?
Okay, they do.
Often because they're all getting it. It's like when you go in cold water, you know, it's.
Like, come in, it's great once you're in. That's what they do.
And then that they're stuck because they never want to see their actual face again. Now, this is a very long segue into the fact that a comedy club in the UK has put a ban on audience members with botox because their comedians can't read.
Their facial expressions. So this is gound viral.
Yes, it's the top secret comedy club in the UK and the owner, Mark Rothman, has had fielded a lot of complaints from his comics, going, you know, we just can't read their facial expressions, and that does happen a lot. You're looking at the crowd and they say they loved it afterwards, and you're like.
Well, can you tell your face? But he's coping. He's coping some heat because he's got you know, you've got your door, bitch.
They're out there doing a smile test, so they say smile and if they can't read the expression, they're.
Saying out now. I don't think any of this is real. I think blisity's done.
And anyone who's got outraged online from the comedy club, because I think it's kind of like a knock one effect. They're like, all right, anyone who complains about this, they're not allowed in the club because they've clearly lost their sense of humor. But what do you what do you think about the talks? I mean, we're we're in dangerous territory.
I think it's the fact that I don't know, I feel like five years ago, it's more of a taboo thing than just now, isn't it. I mean people just go willy nilly these days.
I got it on the show once.
I don't know.
That was like, I remember it was terrible. No, you got his eyes were the eyes up thing?
They sent me out somewhere I can't and she goes.
She goes down.
We'll just do a little bit, and okay, she did a little bit and then I came in and my eyebrows they call it spocking, and I got spocking. It was like they go up on the outside. I can't remember, but it was like the Harbor Bridge or some Yeah, it was like that.
The eyes were like.
That, you know if you pull your eyes up.
And I had to go back. When you got to fix this, Jodie got really mad. She's because she said, I just I did look ridiculous, didn't I. They had to put more in so that the eyebrows on the side, you know, it blended in or something. But then it was like for three months it was just it was just a big flat spot on my forehead.
I've never had it zinto. And I was like, I don't care what happened that again?
Humans?
Yes, yeah, total sam human. But see that's true.
Afraid of I'm worried that.
I hope so I want whatever Lindsay Lowens having because I'm worried that that's going to happen. Becaus a friend of mine, she was seeing her mother in law, former mother in law for botox even after their breakup, and then she started to notice that, you know, one eyebrow was a lot higher than the other. Her mother in law was messing with her face on purpose, giving him like a lopsided emoji face.
I've given her a drooling lip. Sweet, She'll never find another one.
The ash Lutzie Nikkiasbond snack books, lusis.
One of your one.
Gets me every time?
No, I believe it's coming from within today?
Is that is that? Right?
Team?
It is? You are reading my dream?
I mean I've been looking forward to anyone of yours.
Actually, well it's quite pertinent because it involves you. I keep having dreams with you in.
Them, specifically me or the larger sort of well, the both of you.
I'm in bed with both of you each night in my mind, and I need you to work out what's going on.
Ludzy and Mitch, because then I'm definitely gonna feel left out.
No, no, Mitch too.
Who is it in the bed, Jeremy, it's a super kings.
No, all right, chair, that's guys enough, jere Mate. You know the rules, you know.
I came home yesterday and I was exhausted, and I said to him, but I just want to lay.
Down and stare.
It's up then boring, and he says, I do that in bed every night.
He's a funny one. Right, we'll go on, let's break it down.
This is this is fascinating. I'm going to enjoy this.
Okay, Now this one was particularly well. I woke up angry and then I came into the studio like writing this one. You know, when you have dreams that they're real and you come in, you yell at the person.
Who was in it, just clarify you seriously. Have you had a series of dreams we were in bed with you?
Well, you're not in bed with me, just you've been haunting my sleep.
So okay, okay, so we're actually.
Yeah, sorry, I know you probably do. I this is Sunday night, Monday morning, this one.
So oh, Jeremy just walked past. Okay.
So I dreamt that I'd come into studio and then all the lights were off, and I'm like, it's five to six and I'm starting to panic because no one's there. Then I go into our studio and I've turned the lights on and I'm sitting there and.
The shows well should have started.
It's past six am, and I'm sitting here, going and what's going on?
Where's Mitch?
Where's the sound? Why am I here on my own? I'm just sitting here on my todd. Half an hour passes, and I'm just like, all the show's done, We're cooked. Then I hear bit of noise down the hallway and I go out and I walk down the hallway and then I see the three of you interviewing a football team and you're all having raucous laughter, and you've.
Moved the show.
You've moved the studio, so the studio is now down the other end of the building. You all knew I didn't. You didn't think to tell me, and you're doing the show without me, and you didn't even notice that I wasn't there. And I just gave you all a blasting, got in my car and drove home.
And that was my dream.
Well, I mean, yeah, okay, it's usually I think if you listen to the previous dream analysis I do. Usually I say it's not you know, it's not that literal, but this one may be quite literal.
I feel like this is ultimate fomo.
I think I thing, obviously you're you're emerging into a new area of your life. There's a new challenge here with new people, and this is the ultimate acceptance dream.
This is an acceptance stream right here. This is this is your.
Your You know, you need to find your space with this new group of people you're with, and your worst possible.
Nightmare is that we would.
All quote unquote move studios away from you without telling you and leave you behind here.
Yeah, because I had a real sense of like the kid who didn't get picked for the football team.
I was hurt more than.
I was angry, but I showed rage, but I was actually really hurt.
This is an acceptance stream. This is this is one I one acceptance.
This is you needing you needing validation with a new group of the kids then new to get picked for the team.
This is what it did. I think this is a literal dream.
You might be right, and I know I'm not meant to put in, but I'm going to let you just this.
Do you know what the foota team was? But did you have Was it that specific with a dream?
No?
I just thought that it might add some context.
Oh what you're asking me what.
Team it was?
I could only assume it was the Broncos. Past and present. I think they were all there.
They were there as well, so it was a footy tip. Sorry I thought that was a metaphorical reference.
No, no, no, there was actually a team.
Oh this is sexual. Then you're in love with pat carry that's a tricky one. Well, it's acceptance. It says you want to be put, you want to be one of the one of the teams.
I think.
Yeah, so.
Yeah, so are you getting the hint?
Yeah we are, and Nikias Bond snack box.
I've got my family over from Canada at the moment and it's just been absolutely wonderful. I met my new nephew. He's only two, and that's how long it's been. Last time I saw them. My sister was pregnant with him, so it's been that long.
Right, So it's your sister has moved to Canada, has she? Because I was trying to work that out Jeremy's English, I'm like, where's the Canadian? Yeah?
No, So my sister moves to Canada, married a DJ, they broke up, she's got a new partner and now they've got a blended family. They're the Brady bunch. So they've got three girls, three boys.
Now, Oh, that's Isn't that literally the Brady Bunch?
That is literally the Brady Bunch.
The only difference is he only brought two boys to the pack, but then they've had another one and that sort of Maverick named after top Gun. So yeah, I've been cramming in special time with them, which has been awesome. But it's also been a lot of fun because the Canadians. Do you think the Canadians are tough?
Right?
Because they live in a ski town in the mountains in British Columbia in the Rockies. There's bears, there's coyotes, there's cougars, there's avalanche.
Like lines eight mountain lions over there too, I think, and.
They average minus thirty in winter. To me, that's the scariest thing there.
I'd just die.
But the thing is, if you crash your car or your car breaks down and you've got no form of heat and minus thirty, you've only got like a very short space of dime to survive. And to me, I'm like, nah, I can't have that. But they've come over and I took them for a bushwalk the other evening on the blood Moon at dusk, and we're walking through now Todd, here's here's my sister's partner, and Everett. Here's Will's age, so his sixteen year old.
So the whole tribe's down here, all bar two.
My two eldest nieces are at UNI, so they can't come. They're coming later. So we're walking through the bush and I'm like, do I do it to them or do I not? Because they're already quite scared of our wildlife, you know, because every every day at the moment, we've got a shark tack, which was not a threat in the bush, but you know there's snakes as wide.
As I was telling them.
About the Big Bastard or the Big Boy, the Newcastle one funnel, the funnel web, that's you know, bread to be massive.
Now and then what you went for?
What are you thinking?
What do you think I went for?
Oh?
Yeah, I went I'm going to try and pull this one off because I figured with the Olympics coming up, I thought the drop bears should be our mascot, because I feel like it should just be a big prank we play on the world. Yeah, where we just convinced everywhere everyone that drop bars are real drop bears. Jesus, come on, Osborne drop bears are real because I think it'd be funny, just a big national prank. So we're walking through and I'm like, let's see if I could do this, and I'm like, now, be careful of the snakes. But if they've got diamonds on them, they're fun. They're the friendly ones. But if they're brown, you got like five minutes to live, I said, but it's more, you gotta be careful about what's above you.
Meanwhile, ever, it's already fired off at.
His dad, Dad, should we go, like is this saved? He's like, I don't know about this neck. I don't feel comfortable, Like I know, you're a bush Barbie, but I don't it's getting.
Dark start character.
I know, but they think bush Barbie is real too.
That's funny bit. And then I'm like, but just be really mindful above you and they're.
Like wait, what wait, what's a what is it?
I'm like, you know, Koala bears and they're like, yeah, the cute cuddly things. They said, yeah, well there's a disease that's gone right through Australia. It's a bit like rabies that drives them like mad, and they go rabbid and they're called drop bears, and what they do is they just drop on top of you, cling to your head, and they go for your eyeballs.
And I've said this with a straight face and.
Walking along going surely they know I'm pulling there like surely, and ever it's.
Just like, I want to go back. I don't want to.
Horrifying animal.
I've never actually thought into drop bears before to that level, but that's I.
Kind of created a disease because I feel like if it's a disease, it makes them go crazy, like an apocalypse, you.
Know, if it's not the committee the drop bear. So yeah, I actually had him genuinely terrified.
And Id's like, you know what, Nick, I think every's uncomfortable.
I think maybe you should turn around and go back.
And and then we walked back into the house and my mom and dad were there and my sister.
So did he pull out of the walk?
Yeah, we pulled out of the walk.
They've bailed me while Teddy's looking at me having a good giggle because he knows the joke, and I'm like winking at him. And then we walk in the house and they're like, oh, how is the walk? And every It's like I was just I was afraid of the drop bears, and we're all looking at each other and we're like, don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh. We're like, yeah, the drop bears are a real serious thing, especially in this area at the moment.
So that's why we've got a gun under your bed.
The ash Lutzie and Nikky husband snack Box
